Super Friendly Social and Love Advice v7 - Bro just do it, She prob likes you - General

-snip- I'm just frustrated.

[QUOTE=crazykyle16;48855735]So just a question for any girls on this thread, do you guys get enjoyment, or fun out of accepting a guys offer for a date, seem super into him then cancel last minute and act like you have no interest in him after that? It honestly happens way too much to be isolated occurrences.[/QUOTE] have you ever made new year's resolutions that you never followed up on? Some people want to be in an idealized relationship, and then deflate once they realize shit's getting real. Getting a first date cancelled the day-of is great, because you got a haircut, did laundry, cleaned up your apartment and now you get to eat ice cream and jerk off in solitude while basking in vindictiveness. Besides that, you don't want to get involved with flakey people anyway. They're shitters.

[QUOTE=crazykyle16;48855735]So just a question for any girls on this thread, do you guys get enjoyment, or fun out of accepting a guys offer for a date, seem super into him then cancel last minute and act like you have no interest in him after that? It honestly happens way too much to be isolated occurrences.[/QUOTE] Guess what, guys do this shit too. Instead of blaming the entire opposite sex for a few situations you've been in, maybe you should start looking at the other common denominator in this situation - you. Women as a whole haven't collectively agreed to do things like this, but maybe you need to reconsider the type of girls you're asking out, or how you present yourself to these women. [editline]7th October 2015[/editline] Generally the people who think women are all terrible are the ones who have terrible taste in women. And vice versa.

[QUOTE=Guy Mannly;48855867]Guess what, guys do this shit too. Instead of blaming the entire opposite sex for a few situations you've been in, maybe you should start looking at the other common denominator in this situation - you. Women as a whole haven't collectively agreed to do things like this, but maybe you need to reconsider the type of girls you're asking out, or how you present yourself to these women. [editline]7th October 2015[/editline] Generally the people who think women are all terrible are the ones who have terrible taste in women. And vice versa.[/QUOTE] Making sweeping statements generalizing race, sex, sexualities, or creeds is indicative of a fault in your own reasoning and not proof of a fault in others

[QUOTE=Wealth + Taste;48853885]I just have to get my thoughts down, any input or comments would be appreciated, especially if you have experience with partners who are abstinent until marriage. It's been a month since I've been with this girl, and I think around 2 and a half weeks since we've started "officially" dating, according to her. It's going incredibly so far, she's a wonderful girl, really cute, intelligent, and we get along so well it's unbelievable. She is waiting till marriage however, although I knew that before I started dating her, was fine with that then and am still fine with it. However, I'm worried it's going to cause a problem in the future. She's the first girl I can actually say is my girlfriend, and I'm her first boyfriend since like, high school, so neither of us are terribly experienced although I have had sex before. Anyways, until last night, the farthest we'd gone together was [sp]me grabbing her ass, tits etc. rubbing them around[/sp] which was apparently something Is it stupid to have these feelings so early in a relationship? I mean I have known her for the better part of a year, and have liked her in this way for a good while. And now that we've started dating, the feeling is definitely mutual.[/QUOTE] Dude. Do you wanna hear what's normal in a relationship? Sex. Not just the act of it. But the act of making love. If she thinks Jesus will be mad at her or that she's going to hell or whatever then she ain't as smart as she looks. To simply put it, you guys shouldn't be having issues about this, Jesus or no Jesus (or whatever BS she believes in) you guys should be fucking like rabbits instead of having arguments over how you boobie touching felt too much. Jesus doesn't care. The world doesn't care. And life is too short to get cockblocked because of marriage. Unless you want to marry her to find out if making love with her is worthwhile, l recommend you rethink your life and relationship decisions.

[QUOTE=Sector 7;48855830]Besides that, you don't want to get involved with flakey people anyway. They're shitters.[/QUOTE] That's so spot on, if my friend cancels I look at my now clean place and just think to myself, "I can't believe there was an apartment under all that shit."

Well, second time in this thread after lurking for a long ass time. But I'm seeking some genuine advice. Prepare for a long post. I met this girl on the internet almost a year ago (over WoW of all places, hah), and we became fast friends. We talked a lot about all different kinds of things, and she's easily one of my best and most trusted friends. However, about a month ago, I got mild depression and anxiety issues (my doctor is helping is me with these problems, hence why I'm not posting in the depression and anxiety thread), and I think... my friend might be the reason. Now you're probably thinking "[I]what the fuck, man?[/I]" Well basically, as is somewhat natural, we ended up talking a lot less for a period. During this period, I noticed she began spending a lot of time with a mutual friend. And for whatever reason, I began to feel sick whenever I saw them together, even felt like I wanted to cry and vomit. So I began to talk to another friend about it, and he suggested that I might have feelings for her. You know, beyond just friends - I don't even think I can dispute that. About a week ago, we began talking regularly again, and I immediately started feeling better. Mind you, I've told her about my issues, but not about my feelings. So things were looking fine until a couple of days ago. She suffers from depression too, and a lot worse than me. She began to feel lonely and even suicidal, and so I've done everything I can to talk to her and make her feel better. However, yesterday, I began feeling bad too. Why, you ask? Because despite all the talking I did with her, listening to her problems (which I'm happy to, by the way: I want to help my friends!), she wouldn't stop talking about our mutual friend. How great he was talking to, how she was worried that they were slowly getting separated etc. And I began feeling sick to my stomach again. I have never been so hurt in my life. After helping her as best I could, all she could talk about was this guy. She's grateful for my help, and I've no doubt she's serious about that. But I can't stomach the thought that despite all that, all she can think about is our mutual friend. I don't know what to do. I want to tell her how I feel about her, about our friendship, everything. But I don't think I can do it without flying into a rant and calling her a lot of fucked up things. She's also quite emotional, especially now with her depression flaring up again, so I'm afraid I'd just completely destroy everything we've had and have. I need help. On one hand, I want to do everything I can to make her feel better. On the other, I can't stand seeing her spending so much time with our mutual friend without feeling like a complete wreck.

[QUOTE=Spetsnaz95;48857099]Well, second time in this thread after lurking for a long ass time. But I'm seeking some genuine advice. Prepare for a long post. I met this girl on the internet almost a year ago (over WoW of all places, hah), and we became fast friends. We talked a lot about all different kinds of things, and she's easily one of my best and most trusted friends. However, about a month ago, I got mild depression and anxiety issues (my doctor is helping is me with these problems, hence why I'm not posting in the depression and anxiety thread), and I think... my friend might be the reason. Now you're probably thinking "[I]what the fuck, man?[/I]" Well basically, as is somewhat natural, we ended up talking a lot less for a period. During this period, I noticed she began spending a lot of time with a mutual friend. And for whatever reason, I began to feel sick whenever I saw them together, even felt like I wanted to cry and vomit. So I began to talk to another friend about it, and he suggested that I might have feelings for her. You know, beyond just friends - I don't even think I can dispute that. About a week ago, we began talking regularly again, and I immediately started feeling better. Mind you, I've told her about my issues, but not about my feelings. So things were looking fine until a couple of days ago. She suffers from depression too, and a lot worse than me. She began to feel lonely and even suicidal, and so I've done everything I can to talk to her and make her feel better. However, yesterday, I began feeling bad too. Why, you ask? Because despite all the talking I did with her, listening to her problems (which I'm happy to, by the way: I want to help my friends!), she wouldn't stop talking about our mutual friend. How great he was talking to, how she was worried that they were slowly getting separated etc. And I began feeling sick to my stomach again. I have never been so hurt in my life. After helping her as best I could, all she could talk about was this guy. She's grateful for my help, and I've no doubt she's serious about that. But I can't stomach the thought that despite all that, all she can think about is our mutual friend. I don't know what to do. I want to tell her how I feel about her, about our friendship, everything. But I don't think I can do it without flying into a rant and calling her a lot of fucked up things. She's also quite emotional, especially now with her depression flaring up again, so I'm afraid I'd just completely destroy everything we've had and have. I need help. On one hand, I want to do everything I can to make her feel better. On the other, I can't stand seeing her spending so much time with our mutual friend without feeling like a complete wreck.[/QUOTE] I suggest you stop making Mexican soap operas inside your head. It's normal for people to talk to other friends. Your problem here is that you're tremendously insecure and paranoid. If you want her, then don't put your issues between you and her. Make a decision, you want her or you don't. And act accordingly. You fell in love with this girl but you can't help but coming up with excuses on why not to make a move. It's like everything else for you is a reason for your lack of success with this girl. You're letting your paranoia and insecurity take over yourself that you just froze. Stop and rethink on your strategy here for a minute. This has nothing to do with your mutual friend stealing your girl. If you guys are friends and you have feelings for her, then tell her how you feel. Honesty never hurt anyone, and that's the only thing you should be focusing right now rather than all the nonsensical worries about everything else. Just go for it. Don't complain. Act.

So she's over at her ex's house to play Xbox or something today, she almost didn't go after she talked to me about it, I told her it makes me uncomfortable and stuff but obviously I can't tell her what to do so I won't, she ended up going, felt sick to my stomach about it all day, I really don't like this one bit. Sighhhh :hammered:

[QUOTE=dcalde78;48843879]some people have issues with letting go. fuck knows I do. I don't know your circumstances but I still have trouble with my ex leaving me, and it's coming up for a year since she left me. I've had trust issues all my life, and after what happened, it's only made me realise it more. it's hard to let go of someone I wanted to have a future with. I was at the point where I wanted to show how serious I was about our relationship, and the next step from where we were was engagement. one of my friends told me that you never really get over your first breakup. I can believe that.[/QUOTE] I'm entirely over my first break up.

[QUOTE=Behemoth_PT;48856579]Dude. Do you wanna hear what's normal in a relationship? Sex. Not just the act of it. But the act of making love. [B]If she thinks Jesus will be mad at her or that she's going to hell or whatever then she ain't as smart as she looks.[/B] To simply put it, you guys shouldn't be having issues about this, Jesus or no Jesus (or whatever BS she believes in) you guys should be fucking like rabbits instead of having arguments over how you boobie touching felt too much. Jesus doesn't care. The world doesn't care. And life is too short to get cockblocked because of marriage. Unless you want to marry her to find out if making love with her is worthwhile, l recommend you rethink your life and relationship decisions.[/QUOTE] You know, I might have tried to listen to your advice if you weren't such a gigantic condescending shitlord about everything. You could have put that in a well thought out, reasonable way, but instead you come off as a fuckstick who thinks he knows everything about life, love, and how I should do things. If you're just going to be a closed-minded prick, then I suggest you fuck off to somewhere where your shitty advice and negative attitude won't ruin things for the rest of us. She's never done anything like this before, and all I'm trying to do is to make her feel good, make her happy, and have a good relationship, and it's working so far. Sex is awesome, but it isn't everything. Maybe she'll come around, and maybe she won't, but for the time being, I'm very happy with things. I've tried the hookup life, it just doesn't bring me the same happiness as feeling this close to someone does. And as long as I have this connection, I don't have to have sex, it'll happen when it happens. So yeah, you do whatever the fuck you want, you greasy little creep, so long as it makes you happy. I hope you learn that what works for you, what constitutes a "good" relationship for you is not the end-all-be-all.

Sex is, for most people, an integral part of an intimate relationship, but, like with everything, there are perfectly successful relationships that go without it. Treating it like its an absolute is stupid.

[QUOTE=Behemoth_PT;48857637]I suggest you stop making Mexican soap operas inside your head. It's normal for people to talk to other friends. Your problem here is that you're tremendously insecure and paranoid. If you want her, then don't put your issues between you and her. Make a decision, you want her or you don't. And act accordingly. You fell in love with this girl but you can't help but coming up with excuses on why not to make a move. It's like everything else for you is a reason for your lack of success with this girl. You're letting your paranoia and insecurity take over yourself that you just froze. Stop and rethink on your strategy here for a minute. This has nothing to do with your mutual friend stealing your girl. If you guys are friends and you have feelings for her, then tell her how you feel. Honesty never hurt anyone, and that's the only thing you should be focusing right now rather than all the nonsensical worries about everything else. Just go for it. Don't complain. Act.[/QUOTE] In love might be a bit strong. Infatuated, maybe. And yes, I know I'm paranoid as fuck even though I shouldn't be. I keep telling myself that she obviously has friends besides me, but I can't help but feel sick whenever they're together no matter what I do. I've tried to tell her so many times already, I really have, but I'm not sure how to approach it. We're not from the same country. She's German, I'm Danish. Most of our talks have been strictly through WoW as well, meaning we haven't shared much personal information beyond the basics (shows we like, movies etc.). I don't know her name, what she looks like, or her age. I'm 20, and as far as I know, she might as well be 30. And I'm not afraid of her being "stolen". It just hurts listening to her telling how much she enjoys talking with him and worrying they'll talk less, because I'm wishing that's what she'd say about me.

Okay I have no context on this because I am oblivious and in inexperienced in this field. How long between messages is indicative of a loss in interest? I've been on three dates with the guy I'm seeing and theyve all been quite lovely. Initially, he texted me a lot and said a lot of really sweet things like wishing me a good day at work and such. After third date, I thought I was in and was okay to text a lot more. Thing is, I do talk too much. I think I texted too much, as he seems to have lost some interest. Doesn't initiate conversation anymore, and I never got a straight answer when I asked if he wanted to go see the Martian with me this weekend (except saying he loved the book and would share it if he could). As far as I can tell, it seems he's losing interest kr I pushed him away. However, I also know that he admitted himself it's really hard to trust and open up after his last relationship so I try to keep that in mind. It's just that now i can go nearly a day without hearing from him. Anyone have any insight? I'm fairly lost. I think the infatuation period has passed and now begins the real work, but I want to know if I should instead get in the mindset of not seeing him again.

Could just be he's not up for being that social lately, wait it out and see if it gets better. Wait a couple of weeks and if he's still unresponsive then leave it.

Maybe you should actually talk to him about your worries - I always like it when people bring up real shit, on phone or otherwise. It can be hard to go from small talk to something important, especially if you're not sure if there's actually something wrong.

[QUOTE=Sector 7;48858799]Maybe you should actually talk to him about your worries - I always like it when people bring up real shit, on phone or otherwise. It can be hard to go from small talk to something important, especially if you're not sure if there's actually something wrong.[/QUOTE] True enough, but some people feel confronted and awkward when you bring up that kinda stuff and he did say that he had a hard time trusting ppl and opening up, so I dunno?

Today I felt a little better after my breakup. It's obviously going to sting for a few days or even a few weeks still, but I'll get over it. I realized that there's more better people around the corner, and that she lost out on someone who actually cared about her. Thanks for your support guys.

Well, I'm single again. Despite texting me a bunch pretty much begging me to come over and cuddle, flirting loads, and letting me take them on three dates they said they'd rather just be friends. When I said that sorry, I can't be friends with someone I had an interest in, their response was "So you don't even want to be friends? Haha, alright." and "I thought you were a cool dude, but I'm not looking for relationships" bitch pls. You put yourself on tinder and let me do shit with you. Whatever, I'm not that broken up about it at all. Disappointed they did this, but whatever. I'm not going to try dating for a bit anyways, I'm too fucking busy as is and this is offputting regardless.

Alright, I've been kinda lurking on and off in both this thread as well as the gfs and shit thread and I figured I'd let myself vent I guess? I met this girl last semester of college and initially I was a little indifferent towards her while she seemed really into me. I didn't think much of it at the time because I figured she was just this friendly to a lot of people, but my floormates kept egging me on that she liked me, although I didn't share the sentiment at the time. Fast forward to summer break and we're hitting it off, constantly texting eachother and shit, she's becoming one of my closest friends at that point. When school starts for the fall semester she kind of naturally leads me into a relationship I guess? Like she makes all the first moves, like kissing, holding hands, cuddling, etc. Of course I'm totally cool with it because at this point I really like her. Also this was like my first relationship so I had no idea what I was doing but it was a fun ride initially. After a little over a month of dating we start hitting some rocky shit because she has all these commitment issues that are popping up and bam, she dumps me, saying she doesn't enjoy being a girlfriend and that she wants to be friends like old times. Of course I'm kind of floored because I genuinely thought we could work our shit out, plus she was the one that liked me nearly the entire time she knew me, so I just didn't really understand what she was expecting going into a relationship, nor how she could be so willing to give up on us after not even two months? I tell her I can't really be friends after all that shit, seeing as how I've got feelings for her now, and cut her off in an attempt to move past her. It's been just about a week since then and I'm having these weird highs and lows where I seem to be getting over her and then the next moment I let my mind wander and I'm feeling like shit. It doesn't help that she works at the woodshop where I have one of my classes, our schedules don't intersect but she ends her shift when I start a class there, so even the possibility of me walking past her ever other day makes me really anxious and uncomfortable. I know I just need time and to preoccupy myself with shit to get over her but goddamn it still kinda hurts like hell every now and then. It's kinda funny because here I was the uninterested one initially. I know this shit probably sounds laughable to those of you who've been through it all, but I'm not used to feeling all this.

[QUOTE=Wealth + Taste;48858498]You know, I might have tried to listen to your advice if you weren't such a [B]gigantic condescending shitlord[/B] about everything. [B]You could have put that in a well thought out, reasonable way, but instead you come off as a fuckstick[/B] who thinks he knows everything about life, love, and how I should do things. If you're just going to be a[B] closed-minded prick[/B], then I suggest you[B] fuck off[/B] to somewhere where your shitty advice and negative attitude won't ruin things for the rest of us. She's never done anything like this before, and all I'm trying to do is to make her feel good, make her happy, and have a good relationship, and it's working so far. Sex is awesome, but it isn't everything. Maybe she'll come around, and maybe she won't, but for the time being, I'm very happy with things. I've tried the hookup life, it just doesn't bring me the same happiness as feeling this close to someone does. And as long as I have this connection, I don't have to have sex, it'll happen when it happens. So yeah, you do whatever the fuck you want, [B]you greasy little creep[/B], so long as it makes you happy. I hope you learn that what works for you, what constitutes a "good" relationship for you is not the end-all-be-all.[/QUOTE] Putting it in a well thought out reasonable way like you're doing right now? How nice of you to compose such an amazing piece of work. It won't change my opinion though. Ok. I'm on it. So here's my reasonable, well put out relationship advice: You're here posting about how all the celibacy 'till marriage is making you uncomfortable(because it is, and then you suddently started acting like it isn't), you keep telling how the fact that you keep pushing her boundaries is leading to frustration. I told you that sex is a pretty normal and frequent thing to do while pointing out that it's not all about having sex, but learning how to make love. I'm not advocating for promiscuity here, in case you didn't get that. I hope you didn't take the "fucking like rabbits" literally. It was a funny way of saying that it's common and healthy for happy couples to have their fair share of sex (some more, some less) at the beginning of the relationship. Sex when in love with someone actually is an important setting stone in a relationship. Great love making usually indicates that you're 100% comfortable with being naked with the other person, sharing your most inner fantasies and what not, which by itself - that moment when you're sexually comfortable - is an important brick in the backbone of health in a relationship. Don't just take my word for it - use Google. There are countless psychologists studying on the ground breaking benefits of sex. Sex isn't just some stuff that comes attached to a relationship, that people do just to get off and then resume their life. It's not by chance that when you notice those old couples who don't have sex anymore, their relationship is palpably stale and the minimum frustration leads to the biggest of arguments because it builds in frustration. If you want to rule out this important segment of a healthy relationship, feel free to do so. But it is undeniably frustrating you, and her. If it has nothing to do with with religion, then it's even worse. If you want to wait for marriage and then "it will suddenly be beautiful", it won't. I'm just telling you my opinion. I'm not denying that she might be the nicest person on earth for you. But friends can also be like that. I just can't find any reasonable argument on how "sex only after marriage" is reasonable when it comes to relationship health. I don't get that. I can get when the person in question has religious I just answered according to your frustration showed in the first text. I'm not telling you to dump her or anything. I'm not telling you to use her as a sex toy. I'm telling you that you should talk to her about it. Because couples do have sex when they're at the beginning of their relationships, a lot, so don't bullshit me. I'm telling you hat there is literally nothing wrong with pre-marriage sex. Even so, the questions are: are you even planing on marrying her, since she already put it on top of the table? Is marriage for her the only thing that will make her trust a man so much in order to trust her body? And finally, if she hadn't put this "barrier" on sex, wouldn't you have it with her? I mean frequently? Not telling you here what to do at the risk of sounding like "greaseball" or annoy you even further. That's really up to you. I don't know her, I don't know you, it's an online forum, I'm just being brutally honest with the information provided. At the end of the day, it's your decisions that matter, not my opinion. [editline]9th October 2015[/editline] [QUOTE=Spetsnaz95;48858625]In love might be a bit strong. Infatuated, maybe. And yes, I know I'm paranoid as fuck even though I shouldn't be. I keep telling myself that she obviously has friends besides me, but I can't help but feel sick whenever they're together no matter what I do. I've tried to tell her so many times already, I really have, but I'm not sure how to approach it.[/QUOTE] Well, if you're depressive that's normal. You like her. I'd risk to assume that you feel like you haven't been able to be with her as much as you'd like and that makes enduring her close friendships a little hard. I mean you want to be a part of her friendship circle and it's harder for you than it is for them. [QUOTE=Spetsnaz95;48858625] We're not from the same country. She's German, I'm Danish. Most of our talks have been strictly through WoW as well, meaning we haven't shared much personal information beyond the basics (shows we like, movies etc.). I don't know her name, what she looks like, or her age. I'm 20, and as far as I know, she might as well be 30. [/QUOTE] Well you could start by asking her a bit more about herself. Her name, for instance. Maybe start talking about things you both enjoy in real life, rather than in virtual life. Distance can be a drag on this one, but Germany and Denmark share the same border. How far are we talking about? [QUOTE=Spetsnaz95;48858625] And I'm not afraid of her being "stolen". It just hurts listening to her telling how much she enjoys talking with him and worrying they'll talk less, because I'm wishing that's what she'd say about me.[/QUOTE] Don't take any meanings out of it. It doesn't necessarily mean that they're romantically invested in each other. I know it sucks to hear about other guys when you like a person but don't let it affect you. My girlfriend is very close with her friends, and right before we started dating she used to talk a lot about her friends too. She still does. Don't take it too serious. There is no way of being sure. And if there isn't, why bother? Focus on the things you can control. I think, if you're really romantically invested on her, you should start thinking about your options rather than your limitations.

So, I ended up breaking up with the gf of like 4 days, and then I find out from a high school friend of hers that apparently she is a bit insane (manipulative, personal space, will invade your group of friends etc). So I'm pretty happy that I'm like away from crazy, but she's been texting me fairly often (like usually every other night) about how she misses taking long walks with me and stuff like that. What the fuck is going on? I understand that she is probably trying to manipulate me for something but I seriously see no value in myself to her, not to mention the fact that it's probably not for some warped reason that she wants to go on walks with me. Anyone got any advice or know anyone similar? Because even though I know she's crazy, it's still really nice to have someone at least somehow interested in you. Shit's been getting really weird really fast lately

Just making sure, this thread is general social advice as well right? Even knowing it says social in the title. It's just that it seems people are really only posting love related stuff from what I saw.

[QUOTE=Behemoth_PT;48864563]Putting it in a well thought out reasonable way like you're doing right now? How nice of you to compose such an amazing piece of work. It won't change my opinion though. Ok. I'm on it. So here's my reasonable, well put out relationship advice: You're here posting about how all the celibacy 'till marriage is making you uncomfortable(because it is, and then you suddently started acting like it isn't), you keep telling how the fact that you keep pushing her boundaries is leading to frustration. I told you that sex is a pretty normal and frequent thing to do while pointing out that it's not all about having sex, but learning how to make love. I'm not advocating for promiscuity here, in case you didn't get that. I hope you didn't take the "fucking like rabbits" literally. It was a funny way of saying that it's common and healthy for happy couples to have their fair share of sex (some more, some less) at the beginning of the relationship. Sex when in love with someone actually is an important setting stone in a relationship. Great love making usually indicates that you're 100% comfortable with being naked with the other person, sharing your most inner fantasies and what not, which by itself - that moment when you're sexually comfortable - is an important brick in the backbone of health in a relationship. Don't just take my word for it - use Google. There are countless psychologists studying on the ground breaking benefits of sex. Sex isn't just some stuff that comes attached to a relationship, that people do just to get off and then resume their life. It's not by chance that when you notice those old couples who don't have sex anymore, their relationship is palpably stale and the minimum frustration leads to the biggest of arguments because it builds in frustration. If you want to rule out this important segment of a healthy relationship, feel free to do so. But it is undeniably frustrating you, and her. If it has nothing to do with with religion, then it's even worse. If you want to wait for marriage and then "it will suddenly be beautiful", it won't. I'm just telling you my opinion. I'm not denying that she might be the nicest person on earth for you. But friends can also be like that. I just can't find any reasonable argument on how "sex only after marriage" is reasonable when it comes to relationship health. I don't get that. I can get when the person in question has religious I just answered according to your frustration showed in the first text. I'm not telling you to dump her or anything. I'm not telling you to use her as a sex toy. I'm telling you that you should talk to her about it. Because couples do have sex when they're at the beginning of their relationships, a lot, so don't bullshit me. I'm telling you hat there is literally nothing wrong with pre-marriage sex. Even so, the questions are: are you even planing on marrying her, since she already put it on top of the table? Is marriage for her the only thing that will make her trust a man so much in order to trust her body? And finally, if she hadn't put this "barrier" on sex, wouldn't you have it with her? I mean frequently? Not telling you here what to do at the risk of sounding like "greaseball" or annoy you even further. That's really up to you. I don't know her, I don't know you, it's an online forum, I'm just being brutally honest with the information provided. At the end of the day, it's your decisions that matter, not my opinion. [editline]9th October 2015[/editline] Well, if you're depressive that's normal. You like her. I'd risk to assume that you feel like you haven't been able to be with her as much as you'd like and that makes enduring her close friendships a little hard. I mean you want to be a part of her friendship circle and it's harder for you than it is for them. Well you could start by asking her a bit more about herself. Her name, for instance. Maybe start talking about things you both enjoy in real life, rather than in virtual life. Distance can be a drag on this one, but Germany and Denmark share the same border. How far are we talking about? Don't take any meanings out of it. It doesn't necessarily mean that they're romantically invested in each other. I know it sucks to hear about other guys when you like a person but don't let it affect you. My girlfriend is very close with her friends, and right before we started dating she used to talk a lot about her friends too. She still does. Don't take it too serious. There is no way of being sure. And if there isn't, why bother? Focus on the things you can control. I think, if you're really romantically invested on her, you should start thinking about your options rather than your limitations.[/QUOTE] tl friging dr man, keep it concise. I kind of get this vibe you get a kick out of being contrary though

As much as you might disagree, Behemoth, I'll say it again, sex is not an absolute. But I mean sure, keep shoving the implication that "if you're not having sex, your relationship is probably terrible", that'll really convince 'em.

That is totally beside my point. I never said it was absolute. I only said it was healthy. Read the texts and stop putting words in my mouth. From what I read of his text, he's the one frustrated with the sex only after marriage situation that has been leading him to push her boundaries because he clearly wants to have sex with her and it's making both of them feel frustrated. If everything was fine and dandy, I wouldn't think he would have come to this forum to vent, nor would he be so "lenient" on insulting me once I pointed out the obvious fact that lack of sex was being the main reason for frustration in his relationship. So yeah, excuse me for pointing that out and advising him to think it through, I must really be a disgusting "greaseball" for ever pointing that out. :cry:

The way you're making it sound is that it's not specifically coined to his frustration, but by the lack of sex in general (pointing out psychologists and whatnot) which is where your HEAVY implication is coming from. If you're looking to give advice to him specifically, that's totally cool???? But you're making generalizing statements about sex within relationships and it's, again, giving off the wrong message. That and considering you told him in your first reply to him that she's "not that smart", you probably opened yourself up to him insulting you and being defensive. Dial it back every once in a while.

speaking of marriage and dating imo there's no point in dating if you aren't interested in marriage with the person feels like a waste of time to me might as well be friends with benefits otherwise it's just like "meh imma leave them anyways" since there's really only two ways dating ends, marriage or you break up and either some one's heart is going to break or you two never really cared for each other in that way anyways also sex isn't everything in a relationship, infact i'd even consider it a minor part in one if you truly cared about the other person some people can't even have sex and are still in a relationship, and their relationship is even stronger than most that don't

Short relationships can be some of the best ones, though! Marriage is such a long term goal that it's self-defeating to put that as the sole focus of every relationship. Even if you're gonna break up with someone eventually, there are TONS of things you can learn from that person via a relationship that's more than a FWB thing. (Unless you're REALLY GOOD at being intimate, emotionally AND physically with a FWB). Short relationships tend to be good at teaching you about yourself, your goals and ultimate wants/needs, as well as teaching you how to properly care for another person and how to deal with things on a short term/things that don't last forever. Unless marriage is SUPER IMPORTANT to you as an individual, I wouldn't rule out possible short relationships entirely. They can be healthy and happy just like any other.

That's exactly what I meant. I know my first post was salty as shit, but ok, let's leave it at that. What's done is done. But this isn't just about celibacy in a relationship. It's about both people wanting to have sex at some point, but only after marriage. I just can't put my mind around it. We left out the fact of it not being about religion. Ok. It's personal. Which raises a few more questions. The way my line of thought goes, I see that a serious relationship is about giving yourself body and soul. But it doesn't necessarily imply marriage for you to give out both. The guy in question here feels open to give himself body and soul to this woman, but she, on the other hand is only willing to give half until marriage. the million dollar question here is, why? Is he going to be a different person after marriage? Does this woman only opens herself 100% when a guy sticks a ring in her finger, while cleverly sliding the marriage subject in the middle of it? This are just the things that are making me wonder what the issue with this relationship is really all about. I'm not telling him to dump her or anything. If he says she makes him happy to make her happy than who am I to say otherwise. He's the one who isn't 100% happy about the whole situation.