Super Friendly Social and Love Advice v7 - Bro just do it, She prob likes you - General

You can become very close and intimate friends via the internet. Granted, you want to meet someone at least once in person for you to know that you're actually talking to who they say they are, and conversations over things like Skype or Face Time always have a degree of more personality than text does. But internet friendships can totally constitute as real ones. It's easier to get fucked over by someone dishonest, sure. But that doesn't mean everyone is like that. [editline]11th October 2015[/editline] That being said, forming feelings over someone you've only known for a year or less over the internet is dangerous territory. You wanna be cautious, and of course, if she doesn't return your feeling, the responsibility of moving on will be on you.

I'm quite aware of the dangers of my feelings for her. I've thought about it all day, and concluded, for now at least, to best just shut up and nurture our friendship. I'd also rather just deal with the "pain" by never telling her than risk telling her and ruining everything. Maybe it doesn't seem like it, but I've considered everything that's been said. Hence why I've decided to not push for anything for the time being. So thanks.

I think I'm gonna try to avoid chatting with this girl for a while, ever since she got seriously upset and called me entitled and told me to go fuck myself when I said I thought she should date me I worry about everything I say to her because on one hand I'm trying to keep my distance since she obviously don't trust me anymore and I don't want to cross the line like that again and I still wanna keep the friendship going but she's in my head way too much and has way too much of an influence on my feelings. I find myself frustrated that she reacted like that, assuming I was playing some dumb friendzone card and then just went off on me, but I mean it's not like she can help how she feels and I still care about her well-being (too much it seems) so I just end up focusing that frustration on myself. I guess this is what I get for trying so hard to not become too attached to her for like a year and ultimately realize how bad I was failing at that :v: it didn't help that she actually liked me then and we were talking for like 24/7, ofcourse when I realized I liked her she had already decided and accepted that I didn't like her (which obviously wasn't true). I just wish she would have straight up told me she liked me back when she did. It's probably for the best since we obviously aren't very synchronized and have very different personalities but I dunno, I found our differences kinda exciting and interesting while she apparently felt like her crush on me was illogical because of it. Also why the hell do people think it's a good idea to talk about exes to their crushes in order to get a reaction to see if they feel the same... Atleast I straight up told her I liked her to see if there was a chance she felt the same before deciding that she wasn't into me. When she rejected me I felt really bad about how upset I had made her and while I felt incredibly frustrated and hurt too I've tried to just be a good friend, but I think I should have just avoided her for a bit afterwards until I no longer felt so strongly, cause now I keep overthinking everything I say to her cause on one hand I don't wanna make her upset but there's also just so much I want to say and explain in afterhand. I need to take a break from talking to her and focus on other stuff.

Hey, guys. I've never posted here, but I assume this is the appropriate place to ask this. So I've been texting this girl whom I really like. She's in a class of mine (and used to be in another but dropped out because it was optional and the workload was too much for her). So far, mostly, I've been making small talk whenever I can, both in real life, and just in texts. So far, though (bear in mind, I've only really texted her for a particular reason maybe 3-4 times by now), I've been the one texting her first, rather than the other way around. Is this something to be concerned about? Do I not text her? She always replies when I do. Quite promptly, might I add, but I feel weird always being the one to start conversations. She usually is the one to start conversations in real life, however. I'm very confused.

So I met a new girl after my last uhh phase I guess. Anyway I took her to a pizza shop last Saturday and we got on hell good and had a great time. We agreed to go to a restaurant that she wanted to go to the next day. We got there and again got along really well and she asked me to come over (because it was midday). I came over and we just chilled out and watched TV; we cuddled for ages. Met her parents and they seem pretty chill. During the week we texted heaps and called a few times. Met up with her again on Saturday and we got on to talking about relationship stuff (in general) and she said she had a messy past relationship and isn't ready for a relationship (she was saying it indirectly however). So I'm not sure what my next move should be because I really like her. Should I wait or should I keep my options open?

[QUOTE=Laserbeams;48878581]When I'm saying what I'm thinking and when I'm anxious, really stupid shit tends to come out of my mouth[/QUOTE] Even so, hearing that stupid shit come from your own mouth is pretty valuable most of the time. Plus it's probably not as stupid as you think most of the time unless you're talking 2+2=5 kinda shit, in which case you've got bigger fish to learn to fry. As Zuk said, you just do it. Unless your case is severe, social anxiety alleviates the more you interact with people. I make an ass of myself constantly, as I'm sure many others in this thread do. Let go of that humility and try to learn from your interactions instead. [QUOTE=Zoran;48884224]Hey, guys. I've never posted here, but I assume this is the appropriate place to ask this.So I've been texting this girl whom I really like. She's in a class of mine (and used to be in another but dropped out because it was optional and the workload was too much for her). So far, mostly, I've been making small talk whenever I can, both in real life, and just in texts. So far, though (bear in mind, I've only really texted her for a particular reason maybe 3-4 times by now), I've been the one texting her first, rather than the other way around. Is this something to be concerned about? Do I not text her? She always replies when I do. Quite promptly, might I add, but I feel weird always being the one to start conversations. She usually is the one to start conversations in real life, however. I'm very confused.[/QUOTE] I wouldn't think much of it, especially if you haven't been talking long. Some people don't initiate text convos without a reason to. If she answers with one word a lot or generally doesn't seem interested in your convos, maybe that's a red flag. Otherwise, you're worrying too much.

[QUOTE=blerb;48884615]Even so, hearing that stupid shit come from your own mouth is pretty valuable most of the time. Plus it's probably not as stupid as you think most of the time unless you're talking 2+2=5 kinda shit, in which case you've got bigger fish to learn to fry. As Zuk said, you just do it. Unless your case is severe, social anxiety alleviates the more you interact with people. I make an ass of myself constantly, as I'm sure many others in this thread do. Let go of that humility and try to learn from your interactions instead. I wouldn't think much of it, especially if you haven't been talking long. Some people don't initiate text convos without a reason to. If she answers with one word a lot or generally doesn't seem interested in your convos, maybe that's a red flag. Otherwise, you're worrying too much.[/QUOTE] So far, that doesn't seem to be the case. Thanks!

[QUOTE=Behemoth_PT;48881986]I don't think that internet palls even qualifies as a friendship. People over the internet only show what they want to show. Real friendships do not just involve sharing text and chatting over the internet every day, no matter how deep the conversations may be. It also involves knowing the person behind the screen. Do you really know her beyond the image of herself you have out of your conversations? Did you ever meet in person? Do you really like her?[/QUOTE] People on the internet absolutely count as friends if you're close enough to them.

[QUOTE=Timezbrick;48871226]So I had my Tinder date yesterday and everything went better as expected :smile:[/QUOTE] I got another date this friday :toot:

[QUOTE=Zukriuchen;48878971]you just do (ha thanks great advice right) you don't learn how to deal with social situations and talking to strangers on the internet, you do it by, well, being in social situations and talking to strangers[/QUOTE] Also let's not forget he should try talking about what he knows or steering conversation into that direction. If you hear people talking about facepunch you'll be like "Oh hey I also know that!!" ANd if you hear people talking about how financial analysis predicted the raise of PBR you'll be like "Yeahh....actions.....n'stuff" which will come off as phony (Funny word ha?)

holy fucking shit this is the best day ever in months. 0.5) Yesterday(ok it was today, about 00:40) a girl I went to russian-speaking-meetup-in-Central-London-pub messaged me that her ex that she broke up with was a real total asshole as I told her when we were discussing this and yeah we pretty much started chatting about that and then about other random shit and then I see that it's 03:40 already. 1) Today she messaged me in morning before I got on my train and so we started chatting again and she said that she's alone right now and her leg hurts so she can't really go to uni to lecture, so I said "what about instead of me going to lecture I'll come over?" and well we had some tea and talked about some random stuff and after we went on our ways(she had stuff to do so she rushed off quickly, something urgent) she later messaged me thanking for coming over and being with her so now she definitely wants us to meet more. Now I can safely say that we are at least 100% friends and yeah that was some great time and I'm glad I made her day better :D (although she did same for me). 2) I was on the lecture and the lecturer was extremely fucking boring, so I was looking around and I noticed that the girl in front of me was writing stuff in russian(FYI I'm russian-speaking). So I asked right there if she's russian and she said she is, and she is from my city from Latvia! So we were walking from the lecture and talking, exchanged numbers and now we'll see how it goes. Already messaged her and she seems to be very happy about this ~incident~ as she said she doesn't really have any friends in London and no russian speaking friends in uni either. axashijqomlc;,sd;a

What should I do if I ask someone if they're busy on a certain day and they end up saying yes before I ask them out? idk I just thought it would be weird if I was just like how about next week?

[QUOTE=titopei;48887021]What should I do if I ask someone if they're busy on a certain day and they end up saying yes before I ask them out? idk I just thought it would be weird if I was just like how about next week?[/QUOTE] Dont ask if they are busy first. Just as a remainder Not next week (if you are meaning weekends it's ok) but ASAP when both are free. Try to find out when that is. Ideally: First, ask them to hang out, then YOU propose a day. If they say "Oh I have X that day" then ask them to suggest a day. -> Haven't said NO yet, so this might be a good thing. If they say "Idk" you should just say, "let's see in the coming days" [B]and after a few days[/B], ask them out again.-> At this point you don't know if they really want. Maybe the person is insecure or doesn't have initiative (Happens, yes). If then they answer back with the same "Oh I have X that day" thing and don't propose a new day, in my case, I interpret that as "I don't want to hang out with you".

[QUOTE=titopei;48887021]What should I do if I ask someone if they're busy on a certain day and they end up saying yes before I ask them out? idk I just thought it would be weird if I was just like how about next week?[/QUOTE] don't plan out your conversations too much you're just gonna get nervous if you think "oh god what if this awkward thing happens" and from my experience it's better to ask about specific dates. don't ask if they're busy just ask "hey wanna hang out this saturday" or something

Would it be weird or odd to just go up to a group of people at a university cafeteria and just go "Hey can I sit here?" and just listen in on the conversation and try and contribute? My counselor says I'm not a very introverted person (I'd like to believe I'm not) but have just been going through a rough life (Which I have, I had obsessive compulsive disorder for 4-5 years ruin my life and I couldn't leave my house). I'd like to get more opportunities to make friends but is like that a way to do it? Everyone says it's fine but it just sounds awkward as hell to do

it's only embarrassing if you feel embarrassed

[QUOTE=RenegadeCop;48889741]Think how the other people would think. They'd probably think "Oh hey, what a friendly guy"[/QUOTE] Yeah, they wouldn't think that in the Eastern Europe.

[QUOTE=titopei;48887021]What should I do if I ask someone if they're busy on a certain day and they end up saying yes before I ask them out? idk I just thought it would be weird if I was just like how about next week?[/QUOTE] I usually just ask, "do you want to do x sometime this week?" then either they will propose a day, or will just agree to do x then you propose a day.

Wow my girlfriend is totally into me and is really happy with our relationship, this is really really cool. I never expected us to get so close ,or for her to come to trust me so fast. I think it has the potential to be something really special. But I don't want to get ahead of myself, it's only been a little over a month after all. I'm probably just infatuated, and should just keep doing what I'm doing and be happy with myself and the relationship.

Trying to think of good anniversary presents for the boyf.... But im coming up blank. I have one awesome idea but i don't have enough time to sort it out.

Ok can somebody tell me wha the fuck I'm doing wron, I already know what I'm doing wrong I just don't want to repeat the same mistake [13:13:38] izzy: wha [13:14:00] Anton Grejs: are you in the middle of something or can we talk [13:17:53] izzy: nah i'm not dw [13:18:51] Anton Grejs: alright [13:18:57] Anton Grejs: well [13:20:06] Anton Grejs: so is it ok if i say stuff? like it's related to the shit that happened you know [13:20:37] Anton Grejs: when i was being shitty and inappropriate and stuff [13:21:14] Anton Grejs: we can talk about it at another time thats fine [13:22:19] izzy: yeah that's fine [13:23:58] Anton Grejs: alright im just gonna try to say what i wanna say as directly as i can [13:35:26] Anton Grejs: you asked me if i was mad at you a while ago, and i answered that i was not, you kinda kept pushing me and i held on to that, which i still do, i'm not mad at you at all, but i feel like when i said that stufff and you reacted the way you did, i should probably have taken a break from talking to you and kinda let the feelings die down, which i didnt because i felt like such an asshole after all that shit, and well i like you a lot as a friend as ive otld you several times, and well i just dont want to lose you cause youre awesome and you are a really close friend, but i feel like when that shit happened i should have just i dunno stopped talking to you for a bit [13:35:32] Anton Grejs: fuck [13:35:36] Anton Grejs: but [13:37:13] Anton Grejs: you're amazing and awesome and i like you but i want to take a break from talking to you and from the blahtherpay chat for a week or two, just to let myself kinda get to terms with your rejection and shit [13:37:29] Anton Grejs: so [13:37:39] Anton Grejs: if i don't say a lot [13:37:44] Anton Grejs: for a bit [13:38:04] Anton Grejs: don't worry about it, it's cool [13:38:44] Anton Grejs: i just need to take a break and shit, and i dont want that to ruinn anything or whatever [13:42:07] Anton Grejs: ok that made no sense but essentially, i just need to take a break from this skype chat for a week or two I don't want to make the same mistake again, so I would appreciate any feedback [editline]13th October 2015[/editline] I just realized that most of that was in that post was being said from me, there's stuff that happened way before that, but still I would love to know hos and why I'm being not the best person ki could be [editline]13th October 2015[/editline] [13:49:47] izzy: dude it's been like ... 2 months i'm not understanding how this is still an issue [13:50:33] izzy: like i've liked people who haven't liked me back before a lot actually, prob even loved them but ? if they said no they said no and there's nothing really to come to terms w [13:51:16] izzy: you can't keep pushing this again and again and making me out to be the bad guy anton because i'm not [13:52:24] Anton Grejs: you're not [13:52:38] Anton Grejs: fuck [13:53:09] Anton Grejs: you never did antyhing wrong [13:53:23] Anton Grejs: what I'm saying is [13:54:46] Anton Grejs: even tho you rejected me very clearly that doesn't kill my feelings and therefor I just need some time to just let the fade [13:54:53] Anton Grejs: if that makes sense [13:55:11] Anton Grejs: them fadeÄ [13:55:14] Anton Grejs: * [13:56:57] izzy: in my experience it doesn't really work that way but if you think it'll help go 4 it i guess [14:01:07] Anton Grejs: It probably doesnt work that way for you but like you said, your crush on me was illogical and honestly my crush on you is illogical too cause we are like the opposite of eachother and I don't mind that at all, I still wanna be your friend cause you're one of the most awesome ppl I've met, I only want to move on and I'm bad at social and romance stuff so I just feel like I should tell you instead of just starting ignoring you [14:02:09] Anton Grejs: it shouldn't be a big deal [14:04:47] izzy: right well if that works for you go ahead please tell me what I've done wrong, I realize I've obviously done something wrong and to not make it any worse I've decided to just not talk about it for a long while, I just need outside input because I'm terrible at social and romantic stuff

[QUOTE=MrJazzy;48892206]Ok can somebody tell me wha the fuck I'm doing wron, I already know what I'm doing wrong I just don't want to repeat the same mistake [13:13:38] izzy: wha [13:14:00] Anton Grejs: are you in the middle of something or can we talk [13:17:53] izzy: nah i'm not dw [13:18:51] Anton Grejs: alright [13:18:57] Anton Grejs: well [13:20:06] Anton Grejs: so is it ok if i say stuff? like it's related to the shit that happened you know [13:20:37] Anton Grejs: when i was being shitty and inappropriate and stuff [13:21:14] Anton Grejs: we can talk about it at another time thats fine [13:22:19] izzy: yeah that's fine [13:23:58] Anton Grejs: alright im just gonna try to say what i wanna say as directly as i can [13:35:26] Anton Grejs: you asked me if i was mad at you a while ago, and i answered that i was not, you kinda kept pushing me and i held on to that, which i still do, i'm not mad at you at all, but i feel like when i said that stufff and you reacted the way you did, i should probably have taken a break from talking to you and kinda let the feelings die down, which i didnt because i felt like such an asshole after all that shit, and well i like you a lot as a friend as ive otld you several times, and well i just dont want to lose you cause youre awesome and you are a really close friend, but i feel like when that shit happened i should have just i dunno stopped talking to you for a bit [13:35:32] Anton Grejs: fuck [13:35:36] Anton Grejs: but [13:37:13] Anton Grejs: you're amazing and awesome and i like you but i want to take a break from talking to you and from the blahtherpay chat for a week or two, just to let myself kinda get to terms with your rejection and shit [13:37:29] Anton Grejs: so [13:37:39] Anton Grejs: if i don't say a lot [13:37:44] Anton Grejs: for a bit [13:38:04] Anton Grejs: don't worry about it, it's cool [13:38:44] Anton Grejs: i just need to take a break and shit, and i dont want that to ruinn anything or whatever [13:42:07] Anton Grejs: ok that made no sense but essentially, i just need to take a break from this skype chat for a week or two I don't want to make the same mistake again, so I would appreciate any feedback [editline]13th October 2015[/editline] I just realized that most of that was in that post was being said from me, there's stuff that happened way before that, but still I would love to know hos and why I'm being not the best person ki could be[/QUOTE] I dont think it helped that you beat around the bush and repeated several times that you needed a break from her. If that was said to me, i'd feel like you made me seem like a proper pest and it would hurt a lot. Negative repetition is never good for this stuff because it just makes things worse. Just make sure she knows that you mean it lightly rather than as song as it sounds.

I'll take no offense, please be honest even if it means telling me I'm the fucking worst at whatever :v: it doesnt matter in the end I guess I mean it's just an online thing, I can say fuck it it and go fuck irl if I want to, not that I'm very interested in fucking tbh [editline]13th October 2015[/editline] [QUOTE=greeley;48892304]I dont think it helped that you beat around the bush and repeated several times that you needed a break from her. If that was said to me, i'd feel like you made me seem like a proper pest and it would hurt a lot. Negative repetition is never good for this stuff because it just makes things worse. Just make sure she knows that you mean it lightly rather than as song as it sounds.[/QUOTE] Hmmm, you have a defenitivite point, but she never told me she likde me when she did, she just decided that I didn't like her because I didn't "pick up" on her "obvious" hints,. [editline]13th October 2015[/editline] It doesn't matter, me and her are not gonna end up together, and that's what I need to realize, I mean I've realized it but I need to get it into my head.

[QUOTE=MrJazzy;48892206] [editline]13th October 2015[/editline] [13:49:47] izzy: dude it's been like ... 2 months i'm not understanding how this is still an issue [13:50:33] izzy: like i've liked people who haven't liked me back before a lot actually, prob even loved them but ? if they said no they said no and there's nothing really to come to terms w [13:51:16] izzy: you can't keep pushing this again and again and making me out to be the bad guy anton because i'm not [13:52:24] Anton Grejs: you're not [13:52:38] Anton Grejs: fuck [13:53:09] Anton Grejs: you never did antyhing wrong [13:53:23] Anton Grejs: what I'm saying is [13:54:46] Anton Grejs: even tho you rejected me very clearly that doesn't kill my feelings and therefor I just need some time to just let the fade [13:54:53] Anton Grejs: if that makes sense [13:55:11] Anton Grejs: them fadeÄ [13:55:14] Anton Grejs: * [13:56:57] izzy: in my experience it doesn't really work that way but if you think it'll help go 4 it i guess [14:01:07] Anton Grejs: It probably doesnt work that way for you but like you said, your crush on me was illogical and honestly my crush on you is illogical too cause we are like the opposite of eachother and I don't mind that at all, I still wanna be your friend cause you're one of the most awesome ppl I've met, I only want to move on and I'm bad at social and romance stuff so I just feel like I should tell you instead of just starting ignoring you [14:02:09] Anton Grejs: it shouldn't be a big deal [14:04:47] izzy: right well if that works for you go ahead please tell me what I've done wrong, I realize I've obviously done something wrong and to not make it any worse I've decided to just not talk about it for a long while, I just need outside input because I'm terrible at social and romantic stuff[/QUOTE] You did make her seem like the bad guy if im honest. Just from that snippet. WHat you need to do is completely STOP. No talking, no reasoning, let it chill off and then completely ignore it. She thinks its best clearly by what she said that it was months ago... So i think what you did wrong was bring it up from so long ago by the looks of things it was from out of nowhere which made it worse and then you drilled it in more and more almost as if you were telling her off for it.

[QUOTE=greeley;48892316]You did make her seem like the bad guy if im honest. Just from that snippet. WHat you need to do is completely STOP. No talking, no reasoning, let it chill off and then completely ignore it. She thinks its best clearly by what she said that it was months ago... So i think what you did wrong was bring it up from so long ago by the looks of things it was from out of nowhere which made it worse and then you drilled it in more and more almost as if you were telling her off for it.[/QUOTE] You are right. I shouldn't have brought it up when I did, by the time I did, I should have already moved past it, which I didn't because fuck emotions.... But yeah, I told her I needed some time away form her and she reacted with a "offended/surprised" image and said "right well if that works for you go ahead", so I'm just gonna leave it. I've obviously messed it all up, and honestly fuck it, I'm not a super charming loveable super attractive person so fuck it, I'm moving on from this shit because I was stupid to get involved in the first place and while I don't wanna be an asshole, if I keep continuing bothering her that's exactly what I'll be, just another asshole. Fuck love and shit, I'm jsut gonna be myself and hope it leads somewhere with somebody and do my best not to get a single person stuck in my head.

Please use code tags when posting chat tags, Makes it more eye appealing and easier to read

[QUOTE=MrJazzy;48892337]You are right. I shouldn't have brought it up when I did, by the time I did, I should have already moved past it, which I didn't because fuck emotions.... But yeah, I told her I needed some time away form her and she reacted with a "offended/surprised" image and said "right well if that works for you go ahead", so I'm just gonna leave it. I've obviously messed it all up, and honestly fuck it, I'm not a super charming loveable super attractive person so fuck it, I'm moving on from this shit because I was stupid to get involved in the first place and while I don't wanna be an asshole, if I keep continuing bothering her that's exactly what I'll be, just another asshole. Fuck love and shit, I'm jsut gonna be myself and hope it leads somewhere with somebody and do my best not to get a single person stuck in my head.[/QUOTE] Dude, you have plenty of time to find someone. Just learn from mistakes and grow and be the best you can be. What helps me is thinking "What would i not like if someone did it to me" and that stops be from doing/saying stupid shit.

[QUOTE=greeley;48892371]Dude, you have plenty of time to find someone. Just learn from mistakes and grow and be the best you can be. What helps me is thinking "What would i not like if someone did it to me" and that stops be from doing/saying stupid shit.[/QUOTE] I understand, I know... I wish I could act upon my common sense. But If i I could I wouldn't be on this forum, I wouldn't be desperately searching for developers sending emails essentially begging to make music for their games. I know that this entire romance thing that is happening to me is stupid and just the beginning, but I feel like if I had a direction in life, something to live for, I would be a much better person. It doesn't matter, I know that just by being myself and being a friend to ppl, I'm doing my share in life, but it doesn't exactly help to have the one you're crushing on think of you as "right well if that works for you go ahead" this... [editline]13th October 2015[/editline] I just now realized how little sense what I just explained, made. Basically I like a girl she doesn't like me. I'm bad at adult life and shouldn't be an adult. I have ambitions in life and value people, and I want to be independent so that I can take the people I like out for drinks and just be a good person, having good times with people but I'm an uemployed, talentless musician makes space music.

It's tuesday, is it too short notice to ask a girl out for thursday or should I just go for it

Go for it. If she wants to but can't make it on Thursday, she'll probably offer to reschedule.