Super Friendly Social and Love Advice v7 - Bro just do it, She prob likes you - General

My FWB showed up at my work ordering a pizza with friends and it caught me by surprise because the only time I see her is to have sex, not to serve it was like a lil weird but kinda pleasant? Like idk, she doesn't live anywhere near my store that's what got my surprise she lives like a good 12 minutes away, it was nice serving her at least, but had to keep to work terms so basically treat everyone you know as a stranger Anyone else have similar situations or am I just that guy whose life is a running fucking sitcom

[QUOTE=Aldawolf;48889452]Would it be weird or odd to just go up to a group of people at a university cafeteria and just go "Hey can I sit here?" and just listen in on the conversation and try and contribute? My counselor says I'm not a very introverted person (I'd like to believe I'm not) but have just been going through a rough life (Which I have, I had obsessive compulsive disorder for 4-5 years ruin my life and I couldn't leave my house). I'd like to get more opportunities to make friends but is like that a way to do it? Everyone says it's fine but it just sounds awkward as hell to do[/QUOTE] If it's a university, then sure. People in college tend to be way more friendly than in high school and whatnot. I met a lot of cool friends just sitting down next to random people at dining halls and asking if I could join them because I didn't feel like sitting by myself. Tell a stupid joke or something, say, "Hi I'm Rod and I like to party," or some dumb shit, and ta-da you're in the loop.

[QUOTE=MrJazzy;48892407]I understand, I know... I wish I could act upon my common sense. But If i I could I wouldn't be on this forum, I wouldn't be desperately searching for developers sending emails essentially begging to make music for their games. I know that this entire romance thing that is happening to me is stupid and just the beginning, but I feel like if I had a direction in life, something to live for, I would be a much better person. It doesn't matter, I know that just by being myself and being a friend to ppl, I'm doing my share in life, but it doesn't exactly help to have the one you're crushing on think of you as "right well if that works for you go ahead" this... [editline]13th October 2015[/editline] I just now realized how little sense what I just explained, made. Basically I like a girl she doesn't like me. I'm bad at adult life and shouldn't be an adult. I have ambitions in life and value people, and I want to be independent so that I can take the people I like out for drinks and just be a good person, having good times with people but I'm an uemployed, talentless musician makes space music.[/QUOTE] Talentless? Thats absolute poppycock and you know it. Many people in MGG love your stuff, and Night Drive is one of my favorite songs [I]ever[/I] and is hugely inspirational to me. Romance is hard, and unrequited love is tougher. But why should you feel so much like this is a huge loss? Love is valuable, and it has to be a give and take. She doesn't love you like you care for, and you are wasting your affection and energy on her. You seem like a charming young man, and you have a neat personality and try to help others and be kind to others. That means so much to many people, and should assure you will find someone some day. Music is a neat hobby and career too, people love to hear about it and what you make. Dating and finding someone is a learning process, and it gets really tough at times. One of the people I was into for a while, but never officially dated, lead me on for months and used me for attention, favors, and money. At one point I was so desperate for someone to be kind to and dote on that I let it continue. I did break at one point, but when I reached back into the dating world a few weeks ago the person I took on three dates seemed really great at first. However, when I asked them where they wanted this to go they said just friends and acted in such a way that made me feel used. It sucked, and my first reaction was "well, guess I should never date again and just give up". I later realized that, yes, a break from dating was fair but i shouldn't quit. What can I learn from this experience? If I learned something from it, it wasn't a waste. What can you learn from this? I guess I view life like the engineering process- shit happens and thing goes wrong, but figure out how you can fix the problem and learn and then redefine the problem statement. You need to move on from this girl, and while it will take time, its worth it. Adult life is hard. News flash: [I]Almost everyone has no fucking idea what they're doing or how this adult thing works[/I]. You are an adult when you pass some arbritrary number, but you will probably spend most of your life still wondering how the hell THAT's possible. You've chosen one of the hardest career paths, but one of the most rewarding if you ask me. Making people feel the music you love to produce and play is awesome, and I feel what you're laying down already. You are from a place where so many other musicians in the EDM scene rise to prominence. Its not about talent, is about the work you put in. Every damn day, if you keep improving your skills and working hard you will become better. Keep it up, and you'll offset the kiddo with "talent" who coasted on that for a while. Reaching out to devs is not bad, but try to make connections and friends too. Hows your local music scene? Consider trying to play live. Go to music shows and DJ shows and just hang out and talk and make friends. Keeps you inspired, and can lead to good things or a gig. You may have to get a day job to support yourself, but you can still work on music on the side. I hope you do, I'd love to see where you can go with this stuff. I'm posting Night Drive here. Its a good relaxing song and it can't hurt anyone to listen to it. You can ask me to remove it, if you like, but I have a hunch more than a few people will enjoy it :) [video]https://soundcloud.com/messier-51/night-drive[/video]

I don't even normally like EDM music but I thought it was pretty damn good.

She said yes to dinner but idk if she expects it to be a date or something but w.e I'll take what I can get

My ex Fiance has been acting like were gonna get back together but not dumping her current boyfriend. She cuts herself and says its because "She misses me". She'd bi-polar and extremely manipulative to the point where I suspect that she may be a sociopath. She didn't used to be like this and she's stopped taking her medication and stopped going to therapy. She also lives with her older sister who is an enabler, she is underage and drinks/smokes and stays at her new bf's house on weekends. She continues to have sexual relations with me, I went no contact with her and she started spamming my friends and her mom about how much she misses me. Cutting herself and calling me none stop. Eventually she managed to trick me into thinking that her and her current BF broke up and that she was going to get help so we hung out today. It was really really nice, just like old times, but then I got home and realized she hadn't actually broken up with him. I then managed to get into her facebook account today(I know probably not cool but she's actually mentally ill so I wanted to know what the fuck was going on) and discovered that she's been having relations with multiple men all at the same time. Then tell them that she's pregnant with their baby (Not true for any of them) and she did this to me too. She's been having relations with multiple men and flirtations with even more going as far as to send a picture to one of my friends of her very scantly dressed. All the while begging me to take her back. I decided I should tell her mom about this because she really needs to get back on her medication and go back to therapy. But first I asked her "ME:(Name)... Do you need mental help? HER:What ME:I'm going to reach out to you one last time before I go. Do you need mental help. Has your mental state deteriorated further than before. HER: Yes" I went to her moms house and told her about what I'd found and that at this point I didn't even care if her and I got back together I just want to get her back on her meds. Her mother and I then went to her sisters house and told her about all this and she agreed. We started connecting dots and realized that she had been lying to all of us for a long long time about literally everything under the sun. Where she was, what she wanted to be when she grew up, what does like/doesn't like. She even told me and other people that her middle name was Mauna but I just found out from her mom it's actually rose... wtf? She really didn't used to be like this. She used to write and paint and sing songs but now she's just this manipulative liar who uses people for money/rides/ect. She hasn't done any of her old hobbies in months. Were going to have an "Intervention" tomorrow. Even if she doesn't want to get back together I just want her to get the help she needs because the cheating on multiple people, lying about being pregnant, cutting her self, lying about every little irrelevant thing. If it was just one of these things she'd just be a bad person and I'd move on with my life but god all of this shit combined. I don't know who this girl is anymore because she's not the girl I fell in love with. And even if she hates me for the rest of my life for doing this I don't care because I'd give anything just to see her paint a picture again.

[QUOTE=paindoc;48895889]Talentless? Thats absolute poppycock and you know it. Many people in MGG love your stuff, and Night Drive is one of my favorite songs [I]ever[/I] and is hugely inspirational to me. Romance is hard, and unrequited love is tougher. But why should you feel so much like this is a huge loss? Love is valuable, and it has to be a give and take. She doesn't love you like you care for, and you are wasting your affection and energy on her. You seem like a charming young man, and you have a neat personality and try to help others and be kind to others. That means so much to many people, and should assure you will find someone some day. Music is a neat hobby and career too, people love to hear about it and what you make. Dating and finding someone is a learning process, and it gets really tough at times. One of the people I was into for a while, but never officially dated, lead me on for months and used me for attention, favors, and money. At one point I was so desperate for someone to be kind to and dote on that I let it continue. I did break at one point, but when I reached back into the dating world a few weeks ago the person I took on three dates seemed really great at first. However, when I asked them where they wanted this to go they said just friends and acted in such a way that made me feel used. It sucked, and my first reaction was "well, guess I should never date again and just give up". I later realized that, yes, a break from dating was fair but i shouldn't quit. What can I learn from this experience? If I learned something from it, it wasn't a waste. What can you learn from this? I guess I view life like the engineering process- shit happens and thing goes wrong, but figure out how you can fix the problem and learn and then redefine the problem statement. You need to move on from this girl, and while it will take time, its worth it. Adult life is hard. News flash: [I]Almost everyone has no fucking idea what they're doing or how this adult thing works[/I]. You are an adult when you pass some arbritrary number, but you will probably spend most of your life still wondering how the hell THAT's possible. You've chosen one of the hardest career paths, but one of the most rewarding if you ask me. Making people feel the music you love to produce and play is awesome, and I feel what you're laying down already. You are from a place where so many other musicians in the EDM scene rise to prominence. Its not about talent, is about the work you put in. Every damn day, if you keep improving your skills and working hard you will become better. Keep it up, and you'll offset the kiddo with "talent" who coasted on that for a while. Reaching out to devs is not bad, but try to make connections and friends too. Hows your local music scene? Consider trying to play live. Go to music shows and DJ shows and just hang out and talk and make friends. Keeps you inspired, and can lead to good things or a gig. You may have to get a day job to support yourself, but you can still work on music on the side. I hope you do, I'd love to see where you can go with this stuff. I'm posting Night Drive here. Its a good relaxing song and it can't hurt anyone to listen to it. You can ask me to remove it, if you like, but I have a hunch more than a few people will enjoy it :) [video]https://soundcloud.com/messier-51/night-drive[/video][/QUOTE] Hey paindoc you best be posting feedback with that soundcloud file you lazy sod!

[QUOTE=killerteacup;48898992]Hey paindoc you best be posting feedback with that soundcloud file you lazy sod![/QUOTE] it has a nice atmosphere. the eq'ing could use work. /s there i did it

[QUOTE=Richoxen;48898972]My ex Fiance has been acting like were gonna get back together but not dumping her current boyfriend. She cuts herself and says its because "She misses me". She'd bi-polar and extremely manipulative to the point where I suspect that she may be a sociopath. She didn't used to be like this and she's stopped taking her medication and stopped going to therapy. She also lives with her older sister who is an enabler, she is underage and drinks/smokes and stays at her new bf's house on weekends. She continues to have sexual relations with me, I went no contact with her and she started spamming my friends and her mom about how much she misses me. Cutting herself and calling me none stop. Eventually she managed to trick me into thinking that her and her current BF broke up and that she was going to get help so we hung out today. It was really really nice, just like old times, but then I got home and realized she hadn't actually broken up with him. I then managed to get into her facebook account today(I know probably not cool but she's actually mentally ill so I wanted to know what the fuck was going on) and discovered that she's been having relations with multiple men all at the same time. Then tell them that she's pregnant with their baby (Not true for any of them) and she did this to me too. She's been having relations with multiple men and flirtations with even more going as far as to send a picture to one of my friends of her very scantly dressed. All the while begging me to take her back. I decided I should tell her mom about this because she really needs to get back on her medication and go back to therapy. But first I asked her "ME:(Name)... Do you need mental help? HER:What ME:I'm going to reach out to you one last time before I go. Do you need mental help. Has your mental state deteriorated further than before. HER: Yes" I went to her moms house and told her about what I'd found and that at this point I didn't even care if her and I got back together I just want to get her back on her meds. Her mother and I then went to her sisters house and told her about all this and she agreed. We started connecting dots and realized that she had been lying to all of us for a long long time about literally everything under the sun. Where she was, what she wanted to be when she grew up, what does like/doesn't like. She even told me and other people that her middle name was Mauna but I just found out from her mom it's actually rose... wtf? She really didn't used to be like this. She used to write and paint and sing songs but now she's just this manipulative liar who uses people for money/rides/ect. She hasn't done any of her old hobbies in months. Were going to have an "Intervention" tomorrow. Even if she doesn't want to get back together I just want her to get the help she needs because the cheating on multiple people, lying about being pregnant, cutting her self, lying about every little irrelevant thing. If it was just one of these things she'd just be a bad person and I'd move on with my life but god all of this shit combined. I don't know who this girl is anymore because she's not the girl I fell in love with. And even if she hates me for the rest of my life for doing this I don't care because I'd give anything just to see her paint a picture again.[/QUOTE] Underage ex fiance? In any case, I suggest you keep the fuck away, that is not something you want to be involved in.

[QUOTE=paindoc;48899064]it has a nice atmosphere. the eq'ing could use work. /s there i did it[/QUOTE] i don't want to provide feedback because i dont know much about that genre [QUOTE=Richoxen;48898972]My ex Fiance has been acting like were gonna get back together but not dumping her current boyfriend. She cuts herself and says its because "She misses me". She'd bi-polar and extremely manipulative to the point where I suspect that she may be a sociopath. She didn't used to be like this and she's stopped taking her medication and stopped going to therapy. She also lives with her older sister who is an enabler, she is underage and drinks/smokes and stays at her new bf's house on weekends. She continues to have sexual relations with me, I went no contact with her and she started spamming my friends and her mom about how much she misses me. Cutting herself and calling me none stop. Eventually she managed to trick me into thinking that her and her current BF broke up and that she was going to get help so we hung out today. It was really really nice, just like old times, but then I got home and realized she hadn't actually broken up with him. I then managed to get into her facebook account today(I know probably not cool but she's actually mentally ill so I wanted to know what the fuck was going on) and discovered that she's been having relations with multiple men all at the same time. Then tell them that she's pregnant with their baby (Not true for any of them) and she did this to me too. She's been having relations with multiple men and flirtations with even more going as far as to send a picture to one of my friends of her very scantly dressed. All the while begging me to take her back. I decided I should tell her mom about this because she really needs to get back on her medication and go back to therapy. But first I asked her "ME:(Name)... Do you need mental help? HER:What ME:I'm going to reach out to you one last time before I go. Do you need mental help. Has your mental state deteriorated further than before. HER: Yes" I went to her moms house and told her about what I'd found and that at this point I didn't even care if her and I got back together I just want to get her back on her meds. Her mother and I then went to her sisters house and told her about all this and she agreed. We started connecting dots and realized that she had been lying to all of us for a long long time about literally everything under the sun. Where she was, what she wanted to be when she grew up, what does like/doesn't like. She even told me and other people that her middle name was Mauna but I just found out from her mom it's actually rose... wtf? She really didn't used to be like this. She used to write and paint and sing songs but now she's just this manipulative liar who uses people for money/rides/ect. She hasn't done any of her old hobbies in months. Were going to have an "Intervention" tomorrow. Even if she doesn't want to get back together I just want her to get the help she needs because the cheating on multiple people, lying about being pregnant, cutting her self, lying about every little irrelevant thing. If it was just one of these things she'd just be a bad person and I'd move on with my life but god all of this shit combined. I don't know who this girl is anymore because she's not the girl I fell in love with. And even if she hates me for the rest of my life for doing this I don't care because I'd give anything just to see her paint a picture again.[/QUOTE] Once you've done the intervention, get right out of there.

[QUOTE=metallics;48899740]Underage ex fiance? In any case, I suggest you keep the fuck away, that is not something you want to be involved in.[/QUOTE] Yeah stupid I know. But she's so good at lying she had me convinced it was very serious. [editline]14th October 2015[/editline] [QUOTE=killerteacup;48899812]i don't want to provide feedback because i dont know much about that genre Once you've done the intervention, get right out of there.[/QUOTE] She probably won't want to see me again because of this but at this point that's for the best.

Girl I used to like 5 years ago messaged me out of nowhere. She rejected me 5 years ago, found a bf, got married etc.. has kid now, quite happy for her and still messaged general things like: Congratulations, happy birthday wishes etc... She usually didn't care. Anyway, she messaged asked hows things, wanna talk on skype etc.. ? I said yeah okay (wanted to see what's that all about). So we had skype call, she started just in general hows things etc... Then conversation went darker and darker, her husband left her and went to Poland (They are in Ukraine) so shes left with kid, no source of income and has to pay loan tomorrow. (Something like 30 euro but that's apparently not small amount in Ukrainian village). She kept asking me to come over visit her (in Ukraine) then said if I make documents and everything, can I come to you and live with you? Then she asked for money (30 euro). Said no to all things. She still kept conversation going, turned on webcam and became more open in conversation (I have feeling she will try a long term plan of some sort of getting me to visit her) Most awkward and inappropriate conversation I've ever had tbh.

[QUOTE=arleitiss;48902622]Girl I used to like 5 years ago messaged me out of nowhere. She rejected me 5 years ago, found a bf, got married etc.. has kid now, quite happy for her and still messaged general things like: Congratulations, happy birthday wishes etc... She usually didn't care. Anyway, she messaged asked hows things, wanna talk on skype etc.. ? I said yeah okay (wanted to see what's that all about). So we had skype call, she started just in general hows things etc... Then conversation went darker and darker, her husband left her and went to Poland (They are in Ukraine) so shes left with kid, no source of income and has to pay loan tomorrow. (Something like 30 euro but that's apparently not small amount in Ukrainian village). She kept asking me to come over visit her (in Ukraine) then said if I make documents and everything, can I come to you and live with you? Then she asked for money (30 euro). Said no to all things. She still kept conversation going, turned on webcam and became more open in conversation (I have feeling she will try a long term plan of some sort of getting me to visit her) Most awkward and inappropriate conversation I've ever had tbh.[/QUOTE] Sounds like she doesn't have much social support if she's trying to lean on someone she hasn't talked to in 5 years. Obviously she's trying to use you and it's not really your responsibility to help her, but other than that it sounds like she's lonely. It's not uncommon for people to fall out of contact with friends and family when they get into a relationship.

[QUOTE=Guy Mannly;48902759]Sounds like she doesn't have much social support if she's trying to lean on someone she hasn't talked to in 5 years. Obviously she's trying to use you and it's not really your responsibility to help her, but other than that it sounds like she's lonely. It's not uncommon for people to fall out of contact with friends and family when they get into a relationship.[/QUOTE] Yeah I understand that, it's probably why I agreed to keep contact with her and skype frequently when I have time.

So today and the past week was weird, I talked to my ex-gfs friend, he's actually a pretty nice guy. I found out a lot, mainly that she lied about having anxiety and depression, she admitted to saying those things just so she could get closer to me over text to him. He let me read through their conversations and I found some other interesting tidbits, she lied to me and basically said he was a creepy rapist when in fact he was attempting to do what I was trying to do, which was getting her help for her and marijuana/drinking addictions. We're both pretty good friends now, and he told me to not worry about her anymore. But another thing has been bothering me and it's that now she sees us both walking around in college and she looks at us for a quick second then turn's her head away. She's pretty pissed that we're friends now, but I don't know why. The same thing happens when we both go to eat together, she'll sit at a spot where she can watch us, and that's pretty much what she's been doing for the past few days. Me and my ex haven't said a word to each other since our breakup, but I'm a bit wierded out that she's watching both of us like a hawk. Does anyone know what's going on or what she may be thinking? I'm also still pretty pissed off at the fact that she cried out having anxiety and depression to me, then says she doesn't have it, but only uses it to get close to me. What the fuck, man.

I wrote this in the sex gfs and shite section but l'm in a pickle with my gf and just wanna rake in as much input on this as possible. (Specially advice from the lovely and beautiful women of facepunch) Can the Next Morning Pill affect a woman's mood all of a sudden in a relationship? So me and my girlfriend have been having a pretty stable relationship so far since late september (we had some doubts and disagreements at the time). She started sharing her money with me. She opened her home. Gave me the key and we started planing things together. We spent the last weekend together and we were allright. However we had sex and my condom detatched itself inside of her which led us to rush into the nearest pharmacy on a sunday to buy the Pill. I got home and the day after l start noticing an unusual coldness in the way she's acting towards me. She had doubts before (and so did l) but nothing like this. She just shut down. And l pressured her again to find out what's up. She tells me again that she's having doubts about her feelings towards me and that she doesn't love me as strongly as in the begining of the relationship. However she still loved me.. a lot. But she needed to figure out herself. There are more details that l'm leaving out because... phone. But that's pretty much it. I called her on tuesday and she was pretty pissed at me for no eeason. Feeling apathetic and all cold. She said she needed space for herself and to try to figure herself out. However l notice that she's been more responsive today however still cold. Because l texted her in worry. She thanked me for everything and said she was sorry and she still liked me and cared about me.. but she wants to be happy. I know there might be a lot of unresolved shit between us but could the pill be delivering to her a hormonal/chemical nuke that's causing all this? She just changed unexpectedly like a switch...

I'm not intending to give much advice here because I don't know much about it but it does have some pretty significant side effects, and mood swings/etc might be part of that.

i mean the Plan B pill literally messes with a girl's hormones to prevent her from getting pregnant. it's like being on birth control but much stronger iirc so yes it could affect her mood and thinking

I've been reading online about it and info is kind of scarce. She read the palflet too so l think she's aware of the side effects...

She texted me wishing a good day and hoping that everything's alright. I don't get this woman.

My college scheduled graduation 6 months after finishing it. I am full into working life now, those idiots scheduled it for wednesday (working day) at 11 in the morning. Do they really expect someone to waste whole holiday day to attend 1 hour event? Guess I am not going, I hate my college.

[QUOTE=arleitiss;48906748]My college scheduled graduation 6 months after finishing it. I am full into working life now, those idiots scheduled it for wednesday (working day) at 11 in the morning. Do they really expect someone to waste whole holiday day to attend 1 hour event? Guess I am not going, I hate my college.[/QUOTE] That one hour event doesn't actually last one hour since you end up having a good day with your mates and takes a good 3-4 hours afterwards.

[QUOTE=greeley;48906955]That one hour event doesn't actually last one hour since you end up having a good day with your mates and takes a good 3-4 hours afterwards.[/QUOTE] Drinking sessions are next day on Thursday evening.

god fucking damnit how to stop obsessing over a person's life i'm fucking poisoning her life now

[QUOTE=damnatus;48913838]god fucking damnit how to stop obsessing over a person's life i'm fucking poisoning her life now[/QUOTE] I think that happened to me before, making her hate me and then hating myself and avoiding social contact forever as much as possible helped That's probably not very healthy but I guess it worked

I cant. She is in my uni group and were friends in general, cutting any possible contact is as much assholish as it is impossible

[QUOTE=damnatus;48914021]I cant. She is in my uni group and were friends in general, cutting any possible contact is as much assholish as it is impossible[/QUOTE] I may get into a same situation in the future. Point being I asked out a lass from my college group, and we really like each other so this might grow into something. However if things shouldn't work out, I'll be in a bit of a pickle for I have to study and take same courses with her for at least 2 years. So should we not click or should we get together, but have fall out somewhere in the future, then if things go too far I'll try to end the relationship as friends and get over her, because unless she leaves the college (for I don't want to) I can't avoid her. I have a bad feeling this will be easier said than done.

Had a tiff with the gf. Invited her to come round today but she didn't want to as she needed time to chill, which was fine. Today she said she's going out tonight with a friend, the same friend who she has been trying to ditch for months. I'm a bit insulted really, we both know that she doesn't like this girl at all. Venting really but your opinions are welcome.

[QUOTE=valiant1k;48914154]I may get into a same situation in the future. Point being I asked out a lass from my college group, and we really like each other so this might grow into something. However if things shouldn't work out, I'll be in a bit of a pickle for I have to study and take same courses with her for at least 2 years. So should we not click or should we get together, but have fall out somewhere in the future, then if things go too far I'll try to end the relationship as friends and get over her, because unless she leaves the college (for I don't want to) I can't avoid her. I have a bad feeling this will be easier said than done.[/QUOTE] The only thing I can say is fucking try it. It has been 2 and a half years but I've only recently realized that while I was slowly waiting for the right moment (ugh) to tell her how I feel, I missed the actual opportunity long ago (basically when we first met, she was kinda interested in me but found a dude a month later on a dating site, and their shit has been pretty fucking fine and dandy since). fuck my life

[QUOTE=Jame's;48914466]Had a tiff with the gf. Invited her to come round today but she didn't want to as she needed time to chill, which was fine. Today she said she's going out tonight with a friend, the same friend who she has been trying to ditch for months. I'm a bit insulted really, we both know that she doesn't like this girl at all. Venting really but your opinions are welcome.[/QUOTE] Sounds like she is rebelling/testing you. Kind of childish really.