Super Friendly Social and Love Advice v7 - Bro just do it, She prob likes you - General

[QUOTE=blerb;48958745]On the subject of college majors, how'd you guys come to decide what to go for? I have a lot of interests in nature in general but I can't really decide whatd be good for me. Geophysicist, if that's even a real job idk, is what I've heavily considered but I figure the job prospects are essentially zero.[/QUOTE] I left school a little premature than everybody else did but I still went to college that same year for a software course. I really enjoyed it; the course itself wasn't anything amazing or remotely informative but I got through it with ease and continued with the higher level the next year. The people were okay. Come to think of it I didn't make much of an effort to get to know them on a personal level. Looking back, I thought at the time that I knew them fairly well only because I seen them so often and because I knew some of their interests were mutual to mine. Did a higher game dev course last year which was a pretty big waste in my opinion. I didn't feel like I did anything, I felt kinda bored with my classmates after so long and my teachers didn't seem to have a solid idea on how to lecture us properly. I thought about doing university afterwards, but I felt like I needed a break, and money. So I'm in the middle of training for some kind of hospitality role; hopefully a barman or a barista. Getting a work placement in either of those areas would feel great for me, since I could finally have a source of income after so long, and maybe interact with people on a more personal basis.

[QUOTE=orcywoo6;48874346]So she tells me today right at the end of my work shift that the ex had been texting her stuff like I'm just trying to use her for sex and companionship, things like that and that she doesn't know what to think. I immediately reassured her and stuff, like what the fuck he's completely full of shit he doesn't even know who I am. She says she believes me and just says he will not shut up about it which is getting to her head a bit. Once I obviously start getting a bit angry with him and the situation, She then says to me look, don't worry what he says, I'm with you now anyway. So she then says maybe you should speak to him? He keeps making excuses to her about it. So I try and call him and he doesn't pick up. Then she backtracks and says maybe we should just let this go and take it seriously if he tries anything else. Obviously at this point I'm already seething so I really don't want to just let it slide but things kinda simmer down anyway. Then out of the blue, ex suddenly calls me an hour later while I'm having dinner, so I ask him what the problem is, he immediately plays dumb and acts like he's not done anything at all even when I explicitly repeat his own texts to him. He then gets really condescending with me saying stuff like "Yeah but what reason could I have?" "Why would I want to break you two up?" etc etc and claiming there must be some misunderstanding or miscommunication. How calm and almost cocky he was about the whole thing just made me even more angry but I tried to remain calm for the sake of forming sensible sentences. The icing on the cake was that he dropped in there "Look, either way I'm going to probably be around her a lot more than you are since we go to college together and I care about her so I'm going to be there for her" He threw something in there about giving his blessings to the two of us and a warning to me if I ever hurt her or some shit too, what the fuck. Argh I'm just so livid and at a complete loss at what to do, this is so ridiculous.[/QUOTE] Just an update after my frantic, anxious and stressed out post from a short while back. So after the slightly rocky start and some of the stressful bits and pieces, we worked through it and got things sorted in the same week. Here we are now, completely smitten with each other, this girl is amazing and was totally worth sticking through it all for, we've shared so many amazing moments since. Don't let anxieties and things like that turn things sour, it could all work out in the end, I've learned a very valuable lesson.

[QUOTE=Sector 7;48960715][b]don't go to college for fun[/b] your major should be something employable. ASK YOUR ADVISOR about career prospects. DO NOT go to college without doing research. You'd want to inspect a house before you buy it, right? Your education is going to have a huge impact on the rest of your life. geo-anything usually ends up working for oil or mining companies. Get in touch with these companies. Speak with their hiring managers. Ask them about the field, about what kind of degrees they prefer, and what their hiring process is like and what a workday is like for the average worker. Be careful with petroleum engineering - it can potentially pay extremely well, but everyone else found out about that a few years back and it may be a less promising major now. You might also consider forestry or agricultural engineering. Again - speak with people in the field. Forestry can be awesome, but it may not be a field with many openings. Get in touch with your local state(provincial?) agencies, ask questions, and pay attention to answers. How many people do they employ? How many applicants do they get? You may also consider the military. Canada's pulling out of afghanistan, so now is probably a safe time to join up. You can potentially learn a lot of trade skills in the military. Be warned, recruiters are liars.[/QUOTE] Not sure about other countries, but in the US you generally have to take two years of core classes in a variety of subjects regardless of what degree you're getting (exception is applied associates degrees). A lot of people end up getting new perspectives on other subjects and might reconsider their major during those two years. Even if you don't know from the start what you intend to do, it might be worth starting anyway and getting your core classes out of the way while you come up with a plan. There are always advisors you can speak to who will help you figure out what subjects interest you career-wise. [editline]22nd October 2015[/editline] [QUOTE=blerb;48958745]On the subject of college majors, how'd you guys come to decide what to go for? I have a lot of interests in nature in general but I can't really decide whatd be good for me. Geophysicist, if that's even a real job idk, is what I've heavily considered but I figure the job prospects are essentially zero. To be a little more specific, if you've struggled to find your study that you're now passionate about, mind sharing how you discovered it?[/QUOTE] Honestly I've known since I was 11 that I intended to go into psychology but the specifics changed over time. I initially wanted to go into biochem and study neuropsychology in the long run, but I realized that I hated working in a lab and would much prefer working with people one-on-one, so I'm taking the psychology/counseling route instead. For figuring out a major, focus on what you would actually enjoy doing as a job rather than what you enjoy studying. If you enjoy studying a subject then you can always satisfy that interest by researching it independently - you don't need school for that.

Do you guys remember that problem I had regarding my gf and my best friend? Well, I told her that I wasn't going to neglect her as a friend anymore and did all I could to make her feel loved and not abandoned. It was going great, but apparently it wasn't enough. Today I went out with my best friend after class. (it was the first time I went out with someone who wasn't my girlfriend in months). Beforehand, I told my girlfriend I she said it didn't bother her but a after a while she looked sad and/or angry and told me it actually bothered her a lot. So I tried to make her feel better for the rest of the time we were in class and didn't worked. Honestly, it felt like she wanted to be sad. So I hanged out with my friend had a great time and all but I couldn't shake the guilt of making my girlfriend feel that bad and it made things harder. After my friend went home I went to see my girlfriend becase she was pretty near to where I was. She was still sad and angry, told me it wasn't a good day. I tried to make her feel better but she wasn't even trying, and it felt awful. Then we started talking about my friend and I asked her to please not to waste so much energy on hating my best friend, but she said she just "didn't like her". I told her why doesn't she try to talk to her since my friend told me that she wouldn't have a problem with being friends with her, and my gf tells me she "is not a trustworthy person" like she know everything about her. After all that I had to go home with a bad taste in my mouth. You know, I feel that she's actively trying to hate my friend just for the hell of it. It's impossible for someone to know how someone else is because they can "just feel it".

She didn't told me so, but man, the way she reacts to that kind of stuff has almost the same effect of "you can't go out with her" on me.

having a clingy af gf sounds pretty swell to me, idk why.

[QUOTE=GURREN LAGANN;48963279]idk why.[/QUOTE] because you never had a clingy one would be my guess

Can you just not care like that eventually? I feel like I can get clingy sometimes and I'm not sure how it bugs my gf.

i'm starting to hate how out of touch i am with my emotions. like, normally it's cool - things don't phase me, i get over things quickly and i move on hilariously fast. but after a while it gets old because it applies to everything. nothing makes me happy, nothing makes me sad, nothing makes me feel like anything. i'm starting to think i'm depressed but i'm not sad, just empty like it's gotten to the point that i'm in love with the idea of being heartbroken because it's just never happened to me. i've never gotten out of a relationship and been hurt for that long, much less devastated. obviously i'm hurt after break ups but the feeling fades way too fast. it feels so artificial and i'm constantly living in my head instead of living in the moment and it really bothers me [editline]23rd October 2015[/editline] relationships are also unsatisfying half the time because of my lack of emotional response. shit sucks

[QUOTE=Cosa8888;48962330]Do you guys remember that problem I had regarding my gf and my best friend? Well, I told her that I wasn't going to neglect her as a friend anymore and did all I could to make her feel loved and not abandoned. It was going great, but apparently it wasn't enough. Today I went out with my best friend after class. (it was the first time I went out with someone who wasn't my girlfriend in months). Beforehand, I told my girlfriend I she said it didn't bother her but a after a while she looked sad and/or angry and told me it actually bothered her a lot. So I tried to make her feel better for the rest of the time we were in class and didn't worked. Honestly, it felt like she wanted to be sad. So I hanged out with my friend had a great time and all but I couldn't shake the guilt of making my girlfriend feel that bad and it made things harder. After my friend went home I went to see my girlfriend becase she was pretty near to where I was. She was still sad and angry, told me it wasn't a good day. I tried to make her feel better but she wasn't even trying, and it felt awful. Then we started talking about my friend and I asked her to please not to waste so much energy on hating my best friend, but she said she just "didn't like her". I told her why doesn't she try to talk to her since my friend told me that she wouldn't have a problem with being friends with her, and my gf tells me she "is not a trustworthy person" like she know everything about her. After all that I had to go home with a bad taste in my mouth. You know, I feel that she's actively trying to hate my friend just for the hell of it. It's impossible for someone to know how someone else is because they can "just feel it".[/QUOTE] Honestly dude, how attached are you to your girlfriend? Because for me, shit that she's pulling would be a major red flag and I'd be out in a second. It's important to me that I'm able to remain friends with my friends, even the girls, when I have a girlfriend and if my girlfriend were to pull that shit I'd be having a serious think about the state of our relationship

its weird how when i started being more jaded about being in a relationship, ive noticed girls trying to get with me more i guess that saying or whatever does have some ground to it

[QUOTE=Cosa8888;48962330]After all that I had to go home with a bad taste in my mouth. You know, I feel that she's actively trying to hate my friend just for the hell of it. It's impossible for someone to know how someone else is because they can "just feel it".[/QUOTE] You've posted about this in the past a lot. You need to realize that this is not going to change on its own. Your girlfriend has control issues and unless she realizes what she's doing it's not going to stop. Either speak to her about it frankly or accept that it's always going to be a problem.

Got a compliment from someone that they liked my helix piercing. I've just realized that most of the people that were friendly to me during college were on the more alternative/heavy subculture. I've actually thought about following that trend of style (few more piercings, band shirts, maybe tattoos) a little deeper since for some reason I feel like it would make me fit in a little more. And also because I'm one of those guys that has a wardrobe with just plain clothes everywhere and generic facial features with hair that can't style into anything. I don't stand out that well. Do any of you tend to dress/appear a certain way that compliments a style you like?

If y'all don't mind me asking, do you know what happened to Rhenae? She was a friend of mine and kind of a regular here and I haven't talked to her in ages.

Bit pissed off atm. Girl who I like's best friend got broken up with yesterday so they went to go see 2 films at the cinema. The bit that pissed me off here is they decided to invite me (best friend knows I like girl), but my phone was out of charge at the time they called me so I didn't see them ask me about it until I turned on my phone at about 11PM since I forgot to put in the pin to boot it up. The reason this pissed me off so much is because I don't want to get back in to the same situation I was about 3 months ago where I was sat inside all day wishing people invited me out more due to the genius idea I had of combatting Social Anxiety by being sat inside and making up excuses and ignoring people until they stopped inviting me places.

Don't usually post here about my own shit but this is driving me insane. A few weeks ago he "broke up" with me (he texted me after he left saying that he realized he no longer wanted a romantic relationship with me, but still wanted to stay close friends). We've talked about this every time he's come over since then because I'm trying to understand what's going on. Apparently he's lost all interest in sex and is trying to get me to move on and date other people because he doesn't want to hold me back from finding someone better. We talked it over and I managed to convince him that he's not holding me back from seeking meaningful relationships with others, and I think we've agreed to try and work on figuring this out together. I tried to make it clear to him that I'm not going to pressure him for sex and that if this is what our relationship is going to be, I'll adjust. He fits pretty much every risk factor for causes of low sex drive (alcoholism, depression, anxiety, being on antidepressants, having a high-stress lifestyle, not having a lot of time to spend together), but I'm not sure that's all that's going on. I'm also almost positive that this started, at most, two months ago, and wasn't a problem in the past - so I don't think it's going to be permanent, or I hope it isn't at least. He mentioned something about how he no longer views sex as a positive thing; he described it as feeling "impure" in an emotionally intimate relationship. He also said that I've gotten more attractive to him over the years and that he doesn't feel any sexual desire for others, either, so it doesn't seem like it's an issue specific to me. He won't even kiss me now. We still cuddle and hold hands whenever we spend time together now, but he won't even kiss me. Apparently his therapists have been encouraging him to see other women to try and figure out what's going on, so I gave him my blessing to go do what he has to do to be happy. He's seeing a sex therapist next week and I'm seeing a counselor myself so I'm fucking praying right now that we can figure this out.

What happened to the sex thread?

[QUOTE=Zethiwag;48968020]What happened to the sex thread?[/QUOTE] [url]https://facepunch.com/showthread.php?t=1446321&page=102[/url] This one? The one on the front page of gd? Not sure

[QUOTE=metallics;48968034][url]https://facepunch.com/showthread.php?t=1446321&page=102[/url] This one? The one on the front page of gd? Not sure[/QUOTE] oh I didn't notice it beacuse the icon changed. thanks you smug little fucker

Ok, I'm back now. As I've said it before, everything aside from that is going well so I don't think it really should lead to a breakup. as for solving it... I think that's what I want to know. How the hell can I make her realize her mistake (and find our if I'm making any mistake top) withouth it ending on "just let me be!" and "Let's leave this topic please, we've talked too much about this". It's very likely that I'm not communicating my thoughts the right way, since I always say things that are open to interpretation and she tends to get what I said wrong, however she seems to know how I feel about it. Do you guys have any advice to discuss this kind of stuff? Also take note that she's aspergers, in case it's relevant.

[QUOTE=Guy Mannly;48967935]Don't usually post here about my own shit but this is driving me insane. A few weeks ago he "broke up" with me (he texted me after he left saying that he realized he no longer wanted a romantic relationship with me, but still wanted to stay close friends). We've talked about this every time he's come over since then because I'm trying to understand what's going on. Apparently he's lost all interest in sex and is trying to get me to move on and date other people because he doesn't want to hold me back from finding someone better. We talked it over and I managed to convince him that he's not holding me back from seeking meaningful relationships with others, and I think we've agreed to try and work on figuring this out together. I tried to make it clear to him that I'm not going to pressure him for sex and that if this is what our relationship is going to be, I'll adjust. He fits pretty much every risk factor for causes of low sex drive (alcoholism, depression, anxiety, being on antidepressants, having a high-stress lifestyle, not having a lot of time to spend together), but I'm not sure that's all that's going on. I'm also almost positive that this started, at most, two months ago, and wasn't a problem in the past - so I don't think it's going to be permanent, or I hope it isn't at least. He mentioned something about how he no longer views sex as a positive thing; he described it as feeling "impure" in an emotionally intimate relationship. He also said that I've gotten more attractive to him over the years and that he doesn't feel any sexual desire for others, either, so it doesn't seem like it's an issue specific to me. He won't even kiss me now. We still cuddle and hold hands whenever we spend time together now, but he won't even kiss me. Apparently his therapists have been encouraging him to see other women to try and figure out what's going on, so I gave him my blessing to go do what he has to do to be happy. He's seeing a sex therapist next week and I'm seeing a counselor myself so I'm fucking praying right now that we can figure this out.[/QUOTE] From what I got out of your situation it seems like you keep on negotiating to better terms and stretching out your expectations to what you need and enjoy in a relationship just so you can be with this person who is not giving you what you need. Your therapist will surely help you deal with him on your side, but it doesn't seem that it will make him change or be able to give you what you need. You should think about that.

[QUOTE=Behemoth_PT;48969007]From what I got out of your situation it seems like you keep on negotiating to better terms and stretching out your expectations to what you need and enjoy in a relationship just so you can be with this person who is not giving you what you need. Your therapist will surely help you deal with him on your side, but it doesn't seem that it will make him change or be able to give you what you need.[/QUOTE] The thing is, he was giving me everything I needed until two months ago. He was enjoying sex until two months ago, I'm 100% sure of that. It's very common for people to go through phases like this or to be turned off from sex because of life circumstances. I used to be the same way as him when we were living together. Both of us basically "shut off" sexually when we're under a lot of stress. He got recommended for this 1-year management program by his boss and I think his loss of sex drive may have coincided with that. He also just started on meds this week so it's hard to tell how much of an influence that's been having on his perception of these issues. Last night he told me he was extremely out of it and had no idea what was going on most of the time because of all the meds he's on right now (antidepressants + antibiotics or something, apparently he didn't really know what any of them were). This would all be so much fucking easier if I got to see him for more than 6 hours a month. He agreed to set aside Mondays for me in the future so hopefully that works out better than having to be on call for whenever he's not on a business trip.

Sex is one thing. Now, not wanting to kiss, is another symptom. So, he was getting ready to let you go and you convinced him otherwise. Was it his meds talking? What makes you really stay in the relationship?

The break-up thing happened almost a month ago (weeks before he started meds) and we've had an ongoing discussion about it since then. I'm still trying to understand where he's at and what exactly our relationship is right now. It was very difficult for me to understand what was going on because nothing about our relationship changed after he "broke up" with me - we still made plans to see each other the following week, and he still came over and hugged me and cried on my shoulder and held my hand and all that. I had to point out to him last night that he's more emotionally open with me when we're "not in a relationship" than when we are. Minus kissing and fucking, we are still just as intimate now, if not more, than we were when we were "in a relationship". It stresses him out a lot knowing that I'm unhappy, and he hates feeling like he's responsible for my unhappiness. He's currently seeing a couple therapists regarding the control issues that cause this, but on my end I'm trying to show him that he doesn't need to look out for me. Part of his concern is that I have no other close friends or intimate relationships (aside from my best friend who lives in Chicago who I also haven't seen in person in about 3 years). Part of his reasoning for breaking up was because he believed I wasn't going to actively seek other relationships/friendships if we were together, but I've explained to him that I'm still attempting to regardless of what our situation is. I'm with him because I love him and know that we have a unique connection with each other. The biggest cause of anxiety I've had the past month is that this has been the first time in our shared experiences where we're not completely on the same page about what's happening. In the past, whenever we discussed an issue, we were always able to find commonalities in how we were feeling and what we wanted. Right now I'm at a loss. [editline]23rd October 2015[/editline] And his aversion to kissing is the part that's baffling me, too. My best (and, granted, overly optimistic) guess is that it might have to do with guilt, or associating it with sex somehow. But I really don't know... Hopefully the therapist can fill us in on this one.

Sometimes I think if my grandfather was still alive, would he be pleased with what I achieved. Bit of backstory I guess: I was born in Ukraine, my father is Latvian my mother is Ukrainian, when I was born we instantly moved to Latvia and I lived there for the next 14 years. My mother and father broke up when I was 2 and I lived with my mother only, we were quite poor and father didn't pay anything even though he should've but his new wife is kinda a bitch so yeah. He has new family, new child too (my half sister I guess), whenever I called my father and said can I come over, he would always say nobody's home (meaning his wife and daughter werent' home even though I wanted to hang out with him but I wasn't too upset about it). Anyway, I had grandfather (fathers father) who was like a real nationalist/patriot of Latvia, he would only speak in Latvian to me, my sister, my father and his wife. He disliked my mother a bit because she didn't speak much Latvian, he often took me for a weekends and holidays, we went out to cool places like snowboarding or skiing often and it was cool since I was kinda living in poverty. After holidays/weekend he would bring me home and buy loads and loads of groceries for me and my mother and generally helped out. My best holiday with him was when: Grandfather, his wife (not my grandmother but shes closer to me than my actual fathers mother), my father, my sister and his wife all together went skiing, it was best holiday of my life even till now when i am 22. My grand father was high expectations guy though, he always demanded: 1) High grades (which I failed, 1-10 grading system I was always in 3's and 4's) 2) Proper Latvian speaking. 3) Just absolutely overkill manners and discipline (he never shouted at me though, his words always kinda made a point and because of that I dropped many stupid habits [such as random scratching and twitching which were habits]) 4) Always to call him and ask how he is (which I also failed because as a kid I didn't really care how others are) From when I was 12 up until 14 (When I left Latvia and got to Ireland) my grandfather ignored me because of #4 point and he was upset I guess that I didn't call him or so), till 12 I didn't have PC, I only had like nintendo, at 12 I got my first PC and then things kinda really escalated quickly in terms of learning IT, at 14 prior to leaving, I bumped into my grandfather at fathers house (last visit kind of) and he saw that I went from 12 year old kid to 14 year old kid who knows how to use a computer. First question he asked after 2 years of no contact: What grades did you get this semester? (I was in 3's again) he said: "Well computers wont help if you are that bad at everything else", I kinda felt angered and just left. 4 years ago (from present) he died, he was always a high lifestyle guy so after breaking up with his wife (not my grandmother - but closer than real grandmother) he got into marriage with some dentist younger woman, then he out of sudden died, nobody knows why or how, he was healthy, and all his possessions went to her, everybody in my family believes she set it up. Now 8 years later since leaving Latvia, I finished school well, learned English language somewhat enough (when I arrived here 8 years ago I knew 0 English), graduated from college with Bachelors degree and got decent job. If he was still alive, I would just ask one question: Is that enough? Although I think that would not be enough, he was like a manager or director of Latvian Capital city heating/water services so pretty well set, guess he would measure everything by his own position and standards. That's kind of still my primary motivation/objective to develop myself - to prove a fucking point to someone who's never gonna see it. Still though, I have so many regrets about communication with my family. Out of all my family in Latvia, I mostly talk to my sister on weekly basis (shes kinda cool now as shes 16 and has more to talk about than just - toys, school and other kid stuff) Fuck me that's a long wall of text, sorry :v:

[QUOTE=Guy Mannly;48969139]The break-up thing happened almost a month ago (weeks before he started meds) and we've had an ongoing discussion about it since then. I'm still trying to understand where he's at and what exactly our relationship is right now. It was very difficult for me to understand what was going on because nothing about our relationship changed after he "broke up" with me - we still made plans to see each other the following week, and he still came over and hugged me and cried on my shoulder and held my hand and all that. I had to point out to him last night that he's more emotionally open with me when we're "not in a relationship" than when we are. Minus kissing and fucking, we are still just as intimate now, if not more, than we were when we were "in a relationship". It stresses him out a lot knowing that I'm unhappy, and he hates feeling like he's responsible for my unhappiness. He's currently seeing a couple therapists regarding the control issues that cause this, but on my end I'm trying to show him that he doesn't need to look out for me. Part of his concern is that I have no other close friends or intimate relationships (aside from my best friend who lives in Chicago who I also haven't seen in person in about 3 years). Part of his reasoning for breaking up was because he believed I wasn't going to actively seek other relationships/friendships if we were together, but I've explained to him that I'm still attempting to regardless of what our situation is. I'm with him because I love him and know that we have a unique connection with each other. The biggest cause of anxiety I've had the past month is that this has been the first time in our shared experiences where we're not completely on the same page about what's happening. In the past, whenever we discussed an issue, we were always able to find commonalities in how we were feeling and what we wanted. Right now I'm at a loss. [editline]23rd October 2015[/editline] And his aversion to kissing is the part that's baffling me, too. My best (and, granted, overly optimistic) guess is that it might have to do with guilt, or associating it with sex somehow. But I really don't know... Hopefully the therapist can fill us in on this one.[/QUOTE] Your situation kinda brings me back to the reason why l worked so hard on trying to save my own relationship too. You know. Our 8 years of friendship were not just a normal friendship. We were a team. She was and still is the only person who understands me the most and things worked out so well when we were putting our minds on being together. That's why, when we broke up thr first time 4 years ago, l felt a huge void in my life. Not because l had lost a friend or a girlfriend. But because l had lost that person as a whole. Life wasn't the same without her. And that was something she shared with me when we started talking again this June. Right now l think she's going through some tough times and wants to walk that road alone a road with a considerable degree of self destruction. I can't save her... and it makes me so sad... My therapist says that she needs professional help urgently but neither me nor anyone was able to convince her, nor has the idea really crossed her mind. This is the main reason why l'm suffering so much in this breakup. Because l care about her. And she feels that my presence will make things more difficult. Anyway. This was all to say that l understand the connection you two have. And let me tell you, as long as your heart is there for him and you've got fight in you, it is worth fighting for. Stress makes horrible things to people. But if you're both going through therapy together l think there are still reasons to remain optimistic. And you seem to be a very down to earth person so. It will work out for the best. I hope it does.

I'm pretty pissed off at my ex, she's been spreading rumors to my college-mates about how I beat her. My friends laughed her off, and so did a few other people but it's still got me anxious that she's spreading shit like that, has anyone ever gone through anything like this before, and how to coop with it? I'm just really shocked that she'd do that, I tried fronting her on it and she kept denying it.

[QUOTE=puppy156;48974336]I'm pretty pissed off at my ex, she's been spreading rumors to my college-mates about how I beat her. My friends laughed her off, and so did a few other people but it's still got me anxious that she's spreading shit like that, has anyone ever gone through anything like this before, and how to coop with it? I'm just really shocked that she'd do that, I tried fronting her on it and she kept denying it.[/QUOTE] Ignore it and if people confront you about it just tell them it isn't true and she's butthurt that you split up. People that actually do suffer domestic violence don't go around telling everyone about it.

~stupid bullshit cause I don't know what an ldr is~

"Long distance relationship" is not the appropriate term for what you're describing. LDRs include relationships that are temporarily long distance due to jobs, military service, school, etc. Being in an LDR does not necessarily equate to being some lonely person on the internet chatting up a girl 2000 miles away from you instead of seeking out a real-life relationship. That's one type of LDR, but if you want to avoid starting an argument in this thread, I suggest you don't generalize your experiences with one very narrow type of relationship to completely different situations.