Super Friendly Social and Love Advice v7 - Bro just do it, She prob likes you - General

yeah that is pretty brutal but it's not like you're the only person with a missed connection story on the plus side there's a decent chance the dynamic between you two would've changed considerably if you hadn't been on drugs not to mention your perception of her might not as been naturally positive otherwise

[QUOTE=Sector 7;48594087]on the plus side there's a decent chance the dynamic between you two would've changed considerably if you hadn't been on drugs[/QUOTE] see that's the thing, i'm totally down for meeting up with her again (although she is quite far away from me) but I really did not regret meeting her that night or spending time with her, so I'm unsure if she actually wants to stay in contact with me or if she's just passing me off as another random guy she has met

[QUOTE=Hamsteronfire;48594103]see that's the thing, i'm totally down for meeting up with her again (although she is quite far away from me) but I really did not regret meeting her that night or spending time with her, so I'm unsure if she actually wants to stay in contact with me or if she's just passing me off as another random guy she has met[/QUOTE] Keep contact with her and find out!(by that I mean if you will keep chatting or not)

wait what you got her number? dude just grab a coffee or a drink or something this isn't complicated unless you're like 100 miles away in which case ehhh

[QUOTE=RocketRacer;48594110]Keep contact with her and find out!(by that I mean if you will keep chatting or not)[/QUOTE] [QUOTE=Sector 7;48594112]wait what you got her number? dude just grab a coffee or a drink or something this isn't complicated unless you're like 100 miles away in which case ehhh[/QUOTE] I'm still in contact with her yeah, made some suggestions earlier on today for meeting up sometime and she agreed. We are quite far away (I think 90 miles according to google maps?), she's just outside of York, I'm all the way in Liverpool, but transport isn't so difficult and I'd love to meet up again.

well if you'd love to meet up then do it what is the issue

My first exam went rather poorly, I busted my ass for months to do half a test. Lost all motivation to do tomorrow's but we'll see how it goes

[QUOTE=SebiWarrior;48594457]My first exam went rather poorly, I busted my ass for months to do half a test. Lost all motivation to do tomorrow's but we'll see how it goes[/QUOTE] Not much you can do about it now, so it's not worth worrying about, but if you're continuing with school after these exams you need to evaluate your study habits and work on improving them. Succeeding academically has its own skill set and taking exams is a skill in itself - even if you work your ass off for a month preparing for an exam, it's possible that a lot of that time is wasted because you're going about it the wrong way.

[QUOTE=HumbleTH;48592778]So, regarding [URL="http://facepunch.com/showthread.php?t=1446327&p=48392629&viewfull=1#post48392629"]this[/URL], I sent a message a while back asking what's up and she answered that she's been at camp and just got internet. I asked how it was and still haven't got an answer, like, she hasn't even read the message.[/QUOTE] Anyone? Here are the last few messages: [quote] Me: Hey :) What's up? Her: Hey, returning from camp and just got internets after 22h in the bus. Me: Nice How was it? [/quote] [editline]bad wording[/editline] Reading back, I agree, I may have worded it wrong. It's not as much as I'm scared, as I'm just not sure if I should try messaging her again, ignore it, etc. I haven't really felt any unfriendliness or really anything that'd cause her to just ignore me.

[QUOTE=HumbleTH;48594809]She hasn't seen the last 2 messages and I have no idea what to do.[/QUOTE] for starters, fucking relax

Uugghh why do girls always seem to stay just friends with me. I've had a date with this girl 7 weeks ago, we've been chatting quite a lot and I asled her if she wanted to do something again soon. She said that she doesn't mind doing something again but she wants to hang out as [I]friends[/I] :(

[QUOTE=Hamsteronfire;48594103]see that's the thing, i'm totally down for meeting up with her again (although she is quite far away from me) but I really did not regret meeting her that night or spending time with her, so I'm unsure if she actually wants to stay in contact with me or if she's just passing me off as another random guy she has met[/QUOTE] go to girl is advice

[QUOTE=Timezbrick;48594919]Uugghh why do girls always seem to stay just friends with me. I've had a date with this girl [B]7 weeks ago[/B], we've been chatting quite a lot and I asled her if she wanted to do something again soon. She said that she doesn't mind doing something again but she wants to hang out as [I]friends[/I] :([/QUOTE] Sorry bub, but that ship has sailed. That's waaaaaayyyy too long between dates. Romantic feelings are a fire that has to be continuously fed, you cannot go on a date with someone and wait 7 weeks before trying to set up another one and expect that flame to still be alive. Eventually, it becomes self-sustaining to a degree, but you have to keep at it in the beginning if you want something to happen. Scoring a date does not mean you're in the clear, it does not mean you can take things at the most leisurely pace ever, and it does not mean her feelings for you will stick around forever unless you do something dumb. "Just friends," is almost always code for, "you waited too long." Talk to a girl for a billion years before asking her out, "I see you as a friend." Let things stagnate between dates/interactions/whatever, "Oh let's just be friends." I have a feeling like you consistently make this mistake, therefore you consistently produce those results.

[QUOTE=MaverickIB;48595133]Sorry bub, but that ship has sailed. That's waaaaaayyyy too long between dates. Romantic feelings are a fire that has to be continuously fed, you cannot go on a date with someone and wait 7 weeks before trying to set up another one and expect that flame to still be alive. Eventually, it becomes self-sustaining to a degree, but you have to keep at it in the beginning if you want something to happen. Scoring a date does not mean you're in the clear, it does not mean you can take things at the most leisurely pace ever, and it does not mean her feelings for you will stick around forever unless you do something dumb. "Just friends," is almost always code for, "you waited too long." Talk to a girl for a billion years before asking her out, "I see you as a friend." Let things stagnate between dates/interactions/whatever, "Oh let's just be friends." I have a feeling like you consistently make this mistake, therefore you consistently produce those results.[/QUOTE] I didn't wait 7 weeks to aks her out again, its been 7 weeks since the first date tough. I've asked her quite a few times but she was always bussy and now we both had time I asked her again and she dropped the hang out as friends thing

[QUOTE=Timezbrick;48595266]I didn't wait 7 weeks to aks her out again, its been 7 weeks since the first date tough. I've asked her quite a few times but she was always bussy and now we both had time I asked her again and she dropped the hang out as friends thing[/QUOTE] Mav read your post right, but it looks like you didn't really read his. It's highly unlikely that her being "busy" is actually a legitimate reason to postpone a second date for two months... And if she really is so busy that she can't put aside a couple hours for you, is that really the kind of relationship you want to have?

If someone likes you and wants to go out on more dates, they will find the time. The, "I'm super busy," response *might* be legit one or two times, but if someone is always too busy to spend time with you, they obviously don't care about spending time with you. Trust me, if she liked you, she'd find a way to squeeze you into her schedule. She might be switching to the just friends thing because constantly telling you she's busy apparently hasn't given you the hint. If someone turns down a date saying they're busy, try to reschedule. If they don't provide any alternative date, let it go. There's a difference between, "Oh, I'm busy then, sorry," and, "I'm busy that day but free _______, we can do it then."

I just don't get it, our first date ( if I even can call it a date ) was at her place and we just ended up cuddeling and talking for hous with a kissing break in between.. I tought we reallly hit off.. :(

I think it's high time that I start to let go of a few of friends that I had in uni. We used to be very close but personalities and what we do are just completely opposite. Messages don't get returned, I start noticing how she treats her other friends in comparison to how she interacts with me. I mean, damn, she didn't even say 'bye' to me anymore at gatherings or parties. This kinda rounds back to how my previous rant about how communication is just so one-sided for most of my friends. It sucks to know that you've become a has-been, but I'm picking up in a few months and moving on. This is just turning into some old-ass bandaid that needs to be torn.

[QUOTE=Timezbrick;48595391]I just don't get it, our first date ( if I even can call it a date ) was at her place and we just ended up cuddeling and talking for hous with a kissing break in between.. I tought we reallly hit off.. :([/QUOTE] Sometimes things end there, and that isn't necessarily a bad thing. Not everything has to develop into a relationship. Sometimes you will meet someone, have a long night of thoughtful conversations, really hit it off, then never see them again. There's nothing wrong with that, take it for what it is. Because of things end there, you have nothing but good memories of that person. You can look back at it and go, "Man, that night sure was nice," with a smile on your face. You don't have to remember a break-up, arguments, shitty times in general, that typically come with a past relationship. That person is literally nothing but a good memory in your mind. Let things come and go. Stop expecting things to go further each time, even if you hit it off. You should go about relationships with zero expectations whatsoever. That way, if you hit a dead end, oh well no biggie, and if things work out, it's a pleasant surprise. If you hit it off with someone and want to go on another date, go ahead and ask them. But if they turn you away, don't let it get to you. Don't linger on it, wondering what you did wrong, why they don't want to date you. Let it go, move on, and let it be a pleasant memory you can call back on when you're having a shitty day.

[QUOTE=Behemoth_PT;48585013]I don't think you should over-think the situation. If you think she's still worth it and it was all a misunderstanding, wait some time for it to cool off and make a brief apology about that. Don't go into details. Just "hey, sorry about the other night, I didn't mean to be rude" something like that. Things don't need to be a bed of roses all the time and people aren't going to just drift apart over small stuff like that. Apologize and wait for her answer.[/QUOTE] I talked to a friend about this situation before I read this, and she essentially told me that it really seemed like anxiety girl was quite controlling, and generally not treating me right. I guess I didn't think she was still worth it (as you suggested somewhat), especially considering that the most defining moment of the conversation with my friend was when I found myself saying, "If I brought any of this up [the stuff that was bothering me], I feel like she would just say that maybe it wasn't worth it", to which my friend told me, "maybe it isn't worth it". I talked to anxiety girl again about all this, and she basically told me to piss off. It's what I expected really, although I didn't think she would be quite as angry as she was, and I can't say I'm glad that it's all over so soon. Truth be told I'm not sure that she was ready for a relationship in her current state, and since she was super mad at me for pretty much nothing, I think I'm better off without her (pretty much definitely vice versa too, to be fair). Still feel like shit though.

My dad always told me that I should be friends with a girl before we start dating but honestly that might be part of the problem here. Maybe I should just be more forward with girls I see around and see where that gets me

[QUOTE=Wealth + Taste;48601105]My dad always told me that I should be friends with a girl before we start dating but honestly that might be part of the problem here. Maybe I should just be more forward with girls I see around and see where that gets me[/QUOTE] yes be more forward works better imo if you start being friends with a girl, the most likely scenario is that they will see you as a friend if you start out by being a romantic interest to them then that is how they will see you

[QUOTE=MaverickIB;48585768]If you like her, ask her out. You'll ruin yourself trying to decipher clues in her texting patterns or whatever. You're overthinking things, think about the endgame. Why are you trying to talk to her and whatnot? Want to get to know her? Ask her out. If you're just talking to her for shits and gigs, someone to chat with, then it's not big loss if she doesn't want to text or whatever, no reason to waste any thought process on the matter. I've met a lot of girls who got turned off real quick by a dude not pulling the trigger fast. I mean, c'mon, you talked and she gave you her number. That kinda sorta lays it out clearly right there, she gave you an opportunity to ask her out and you still haven't done it. If she's that type of person, every day you waste trying to just small talk via text or whatever is killing your chances more and more.[/QUOTE] I got a flat tire on my way back to my apartment and I ended up being an hour late for class. My professor asked to talk to me after class so I didn't get a chance to talk to her. Should I just try to do it over text? [editline]2nd September 2015[/editline] I just ended up texting her since I didn't wanna wait another 7 days.

UPDATE ON THE PSYCH ANALYSIS I HAD: (previous post: [url]http://facepunch.com/showthread.php?t=1482859&p=48593050&viewfull=1#post48593050[/url]) So the woman emailed me, she asked if i could write my story up a little, like a summary again so she can put it in her notes. She did some research on my sort of "developing a second personality" thing and said its like a hybrid branch of DID (Dissociative Identity Disorder) but yet i have full control over it instead of it having control over me. Her other Psychologist friends haven't heard anything like this before either and are quite interested to know about it and one of them wants to join a session with me if i get a chance. This is so odd and im really excited to understand it aswell.

Have you guys felt anxiety at just the sight of someone? If so, how do you deal with that? I've been trying to mature a lot more lately, and I think it's silly that someone who I had personal beef with just stirs me inside.

Chick I'm messing around with asked me if we were dating or just sleeping together. I typed out the pessimistic part of the message first, then dropped my phone and it sent :V text ended on [quote]We really don't have that much in common,[/quote]

Don't worry, I'm pretty sure she's hyped for Part II!

nah it's cool she agreed anyway we've got little long term potential so I'm glad she brought it up. This has been the farthest I've really gone in a relationship, so I've discovered a lot about myself and what I want in a partner along the way. we're gonna get together next week and probably talk about it. oh yeah also I finally came during sex so that part of the relationship is going swimmingly line for high-fives forms on the right

I've been friends with this girl for about a year now, and the first week back at college, I casually asked if she would be interested in getting coffee at the school barista. She said she was had work to do that night and I continued talking with her and her friends until I got to the floor my room was on. I was discouraged but not down. That was on Sunday. Yesterday, I passed her on the way out of the school chapel and inquired whether she was going to get lunch at the cafeteria or if she had something going on. She told me she "was busy and she had some stuff going on." That was all she said. With a second rejection, I figured that was a sign that she wasn't interested and I was pretty disheartened that she didn't have the courage to say why she wasn't interested or gave me a clear answer either way. Now the question. I'm not great at nonverbal cues, since I have Asperger's so I might be missing something, but seeing that I eat lunch with them several times a week and have gone to campus events with them, I thought we were friends. I'm conflicted on how I should act around her. Avoid her at any events, Act like nothing is different, move on to other girls I've had my eye on, or sit alone at lunch and drink soda until I feel like doing something else. Any advice on which way to go?

[QUOTE=adamsz;48612899]I've been friends with this girl for about a year now, and the first week back at college, I casually asked if she would be interested in getting coffee at the school barista. She said she was had work to do that night and I continued talking with her and her friends until I got to the floor my room was on. I was discouraged but not down. That was on Sunday. Yesterday, I passed her on the way out of the school chapel and inquired whether she was going to get lunch at the cafeteria or if she had something going on. She told me she "was busy and she had some stuff going on." That was all she said. With a second rejection, I figured that was a sign that she wasn't interested and I was pretty disheartened that she didn't have the courage to say why she wasn't interested or gave me a clear answer either way. Now the question. I'm not great at nonverbal cues, since I have Asperger's so I might be missing something, but seeing that I eat lunch with them several times a week and have gone to campus events with them, I thought we were friends. I'm conflicted on how I should act around her. Avoid her at any events, Act like nothing is different, move on to other girls I've had my eye on, or sit alone at lunch and drink soda until I feel like doing something else. Any advice on which way to go?[/QUOTE] The mature thing would be to act like you asking her has not affected your friendship in any way and move onto other girls you've had your eye on. Once she realises that you've been looking around other people and you've already proved its not awkward, your friendship will quickly re-cement itself and fall into place. Furthermore the reason she didn't give you an outright no is because she probably thinks its awkward - a lot of guys tend to react horribly to an outright no, sometimes aggressively/violently so don't consider her actions as a judgement passed on yourself - just a bit of healthy caution, and perhaps even her valuing your friendship enough that she didn't want to cause you undue hurt and would rather let you figure it out yourself (which you did)