Super Friendly Social and Love Advice v7 - Bro just do it, She prob likes you - General

I ain't in here to ask questions about love. I am here to ask a question about this person I wanna be friends with. Basically there is this girl who I kinda have a crush on, but I don't really care about that right now, but I wanna be her friend. Thing is, she is 3 years older than me, I am 16, she is 19. I have older friends but I don't know if I should bother asking if she wants to hang out. Any advice?

[QUOTE=Xenophobia;49031371]I even tried to get therapy to learn whats wrong with me, but half an hour every two weeks just left me angry.[/QUOTE] First, when it comes to other people being happier than you - most people try to hide their weakness or unhappiness when dealing with others. It's easy to assume that everyone else is more happy or secure than we are, but it's only because we don't see the more difficult sides of their lives. Lots of people at your age especially are still trying to find their place in society. Most people get satisfaction out of having some sort of purpose in life. Choosing a career path just because it's less painful than others isn't going to be satisfying, but feeling like you're contributing to the world in a way that you consider important can make your job more enjoyable. All I can really suggest is to start by seeing a different therapist, and more frequently than 30 minutes every two weeks. Therapy takes time and an hour a month is not enough time. There are honestly a lot of shitty therapists out there and it's possible the one you're seeing just isn't suited to you. Your issues aren't going to be solved by a thread on a gaming forum, and they aren't going to go away on their own - don't give up on therapy just yet. If you aren't in school and can afford it, it might be worth taking some community college classes to explore some other academic subjects. Getting a degree would expand your options a bit with jobs.

any tips for getting a job? I got fired over a month ago and i've been looking ever since. i've dropped off over 30 resumes in person and applied to over 40 jobs online and only heard back from one to tell me that they've filled the position. i don't have any money and i'm bored all the fucking time because i have nothing to do with my time but look for jobs.

So uh... It happened again, I dropped my girlfriend home and got invited in by the mum. Long story short we went in and all her belongings had been put into bin bags, Three hours of arguing later and I ended up taking her back to my house with all her belongings and my parents tried their best to help. I guess that's one way of moving in together...

To cut a long story short, girl who I liked started going out with someone. For the entire long story, read from here. So last monday I talked about a friend who would taunt me based on my crush on a girl when she talked to another guy. Today I found out that he wasn't taunting me because of that, he was taunting me because she was going out with the guy she was talking to and had been for the past 3 days. It gets shitter. 2 weeks ago we all were doing a game where you had to list certain personal things and people had to guess your answers. On the question that asked you who your closest friends were girl put her best friend and me. But I'm not the person who gets told about this, no, it's the dickhead friend who gets told about it before me, someone who she has bitched about and whom he has bitched about. I only fucking worked this out by accident when I got a bad feeling after accidentally seeing this guys name with 2 hearts next to it, then at lunch they were pretty close, then after school she went and found him, then before he left they hugged, etc etc. I have trust issues from people who used to be friends completely betraying me and just being a general twat overall, and this doesn't help. I don't give 2 shits about her liking someone else, good on her, it's just sometimes people who you consider to have grown closer to over the past 3/4 months are really just at the same distance as before.

[QUOTE=orcywoo6;49032938]So uh... It happened again, I dropped my girlfriend home and got invited in by the mum. Long story short we went in and all her belongings had been put into bin bags, Three hours of arguing later and I ended up taking her back to my house with all her belongings and my parents tried their best to help. I guess that's one way of moving in together...[/QUOTE] All day today her mum has been textin/calling me and asking after her. She keeps saying she wants her to come home, but in the same fucking sentence she starts going on about rules and studying, are they really that sense that they don't understand they are creating the problem?

Got my third date with a really cool girl tonight that I met on tinder. Hopefully this one lasts :)

Man, I don't know what to do with friends who don't text back. I texted two different people asking if they wanted to hang out this past weekend, and didn't get a response from either one. Now that the weekend's over, I don't know if I should contact them and be like "hey why didn't you ever text me?" or if I should just ignore it and try again next week, or what. It's frustrating, but I don't want to make a fuss about it because it's a pretty minor conflict. Still, one of them is especially bad because I texted twice, over the course of two days.

[QUOTE=RainbowStalin;49026263]If you're out somewhere then having a drink isn't a big deal, if she's drinking on her own or when shes doing nothing at home then you probably need to have a talk with her.[/QUOTE] That's the thing, it can be any regular day and she'll be carrying her bag full of beers and just drink them as she goes on with her day. I'm tempted to challenge her, say.. if she doesn't drink a beer for a week then I'll give her something she likes, a new jacket or so.

[QUOTE=Loofiloo;49037946]Man, I don't know what to do with friends who don't text back. I texted two different people asking if they wanted to hang out this past weekend, and didn't get a response from either one. Now that the weekend's over, I don't know if I should contact them and be like "hey why didn't you ever text me?" or if I should just ignore it and try again next week, or what. It's frustrating, but I don't want to make a fuss about it because it's a pretty minor conflict. Still, one of them is especially bad because I texted twice, over the course of two days.[/QUOTE] My friends are like that too. Whenever they come up with something, even though it's not my thing l go regardless of anything. Whenever l suggest something they act busy and come up with excuses or prejudiced judgement about my suggestion. Last week l got so annoyed because they wanted to go watch a surf competition and l was totally up for it. But when they asked me to suggest something, they kept bringing my stuff down as "lame". So since l'm tired of wasting opportunities and deluding myself believing l need them to have fun, l told them to fuck off and canceled my presence in the surf competition. I love my friends but they're so unadventurous it fucking hurts. Everything that's not drinking beer and watching the game on a Saturday night is too much to ask. Just go out alone. You don't need them.

[QUOTE=Pat.Lithium;49032768]any tips for getting a job? I got fired over a month ago and i've been looking ever since. i've dropped off over 30 resumes in person and applied to over 40 jobs online and only heard back from one to tell me that they've filled the position. i don't have any money and i'm bored all the fucking time because i have nothing to do with my time but look for jobs.[/QUOTE] When I hire people, it usually comes down to there attitude and how switched on they seem. Retail does not need any experience so it is as easy as giving a good impression. Smile, be happy and keen to work for whatever company you land an interview at. Also everyone stalks the shit out of peoples facebook profiles so yeah make sure there is no crazy racist rants or anything on there.

[QUOTE=triplej05;49038944]When I hire people, it usually comes down to there attitude and how switched on they seem. Retail does not need any experience so it is as easy as giving a good impression. Smile, be happy and keen to work for whatever company you land an interview at. Also everyone stalks the shit out of peoples facebook profiles so yeah make sure there is no crazy racist rants or anything on there.[/QUOTE] Or if it is, make sure it's set to friends only

[QUOTE=orcywoo6;49034574]All day today her mum has been textin/calling me and asking after her. She keeps saying she wants her to come home, but in the same fucking sentence she starts going on about rules and studying, are they really that sense that they don't understand they are creating the problem?[/QUOTE] Jesuschrist some parents are very terrible at things. My heart goes out, I've had difficulties with thick-skulled people. Careful about the movin in together thing. If the two of you were not previously prepared to live together then this sudden shift can put an unexpected strain on your relationship. I very much love my girlfriend, but when she moved in for three months and was unable to get a job for the summer period it was so rough mentally for us both that we ended up breaking up. It was later that I realized the issue was situational and there was no reason for us to not be together. I learned a lot from it and our relationship strengthened after that, but just be sure to try and put things like that out there between the two of you so you're on the same page.

[QUOTE=orcywoo6;49034574]All day today her mum has been textin/calling me and asking after her. She keeps saying she wants her to come home, but in the same fucking sentence she starts going on about rules and studying, are they really that sense that they don't understand they are creating the problem?[/QUOTE] So now things settled down a bit, we had a sit down talk with her parents, who were very apologetic, humble and upset, they realise they did so many things wrong and they've promised us things will change. Some of the super nice things they said...Like they really want us to have a future together and stuff like that, apparently I'm the guy they always wanted their daughter to have. Hugged it out with the mum, they even admitted they are inexperienced and are just trying to do the right thing. For now she's happy to be back home and her parents are happy to have her back, and I'm happy she's safe. Even the whole ex situation is COMPLETELY gone now thanks to the power of communication. Everything went better than expected. ...Now we just have a pregnancy scare to deal with... :hammered:

shit, life happens everywhere apparently

[QUOTE=Tools;49038698]That's the thing, it can be any regular day and she'll be carrying her bag full of beers and just drink them as she goes on with her day. I'm tempted to challenge her, say.. if she doesn't drink a beer for a week then I'll give her something she likes, a new jacket or so.[/QUOTE] If she keeps beer on her most of the time then yeah you probably should talk with her, it sounds like she's getting or is already dependent on alcohol.

So I went and got drunk at a party for the first time ever a couple of weeks ago (I've been drunk once before at home with my brother and some of his friends, and I was surrounded by classmates and mutual acquaintances so I was in good hands). For the first time in several years, I felt truly happy and loved. I guess it really is true what they say about drowning your sorrows, I found it to be very effective. I did have fun, but now I'm afraid that alcohol is going to be the driving force of my potential social life. When I was drunk, I felt really self-confident and wasn't afraid of showing myself, which never happens. But now, looking back at it and the impact it had on me? It made me realize that being drunk together with other drunk people feels like the only way I'll ever be truly accepted, which kind of ruins the entire experience. I still talk about it with my friends who were there and we can laugh at what happened, but now it seems that my actions at the party have defined me as a person among my friends, and I don't want to be remembered or accepted for getting wasted. The fact that I don't have a personality doesn't exactly help with this, as I am an uninteresting person whenever I'm not drunk (which is almost always) Is this how alcoholism starts?

As long as you drink to celebrate you'll be fine.

[QUOTE=Flubbman;49041817]So I went and got drunk at a party for the first time ever a couple of weeks ago (I've been drunk once before at home with my brother and some of his friends, and I was surrounded by classmates and mutual acquaintances so I was in good hands). For the first time in several years, I felt truly happy and loved. I guess it really is true what they say about drowning your sorrows, I found it to be very effective. I did have fun, but now I'm afraid that alcohol is going to be the driving force of my potential social life. When I was drunk, I felt really self-confident and wasn't afraid of showing myself, which never happens. But now, looking back at it and the impact it had on me? It made me realize that being drunk together with other drunk people feels like the only way I'll ever be truly accepted, which kind of ruins the entire experience. I still talk about it with my friends who were there and we can laugh at what happened, but now it seems that my actions at the party have defined me as a person among my friends, and I don't want to be remembered or accepted for getting wasted. The fact that I don't have a personality doesn't exactly help with this, as I am an uninteresting person whenever I'm not drunk (which is almost always) Is this how alcoholism starts?[/QUOTE] you were drunk for a night geez calm down

do you guys have any general advice on becoming more comfortable socially and not over thinking everything once you come back home after meeting people? I feel awful every time I get back home after being social. I feel like I haven't spoken enough, said odd things, and generally been very uninteresting. it feels true too since I am very quiet often. the only times where I really start talking a lot and participate is when I've drunk alcohol, but I can't drink every time I go out just to feel more comfortable. I don't think I'm too awkward, but there are some things from for example today that I regret mentioning. other than that, I feel like I act normal enough, just don't speak that much. I speak when spoken to, never really start up a conversation topic or the like. I see that others share videos with each other, talk about events in their life, stuff that has happened the last week or so, share stuff they've read in the news or on the internet, joke around, or just talk about completely random stuff which somehow becomes a conversation. I look at this and wish I was able to do this as well, participate more and start things up. [editline]4th November 2015[/editline] also, is it creepy to check a strangers Facebook profile after saying hi once or twice in the past? I had my first proper conversation with the guy I'm talking about today and I had checked his Facebook before this first conversation. he asked if I had seen a picture of him which he had of himself where he was fairly ripped back when he was working out, and it just popped out of me that I had since it was posted publicly on his Facebook. he got really surprised, so I had to say I found it on his Facebook. he called me a stalker like everyone calls people who have checked peoples profile. I asked him if he didn't do it when he met new people due to curiosity, and he said no and said he'd rather actually speak with people to get to know them rather than sitting behind a computer screen checking their Facebook page. I was under the impression that pretty much everyone does, but now I feel really creepy and regret mentioning it. I should have just said no to having seen the picture I feel.

[QUOTE=RenegadeCop;49042138]Alcoholism is drinking at home by yourself everyday, spending vast amounts of money on it, to the point you lose friends family and future.[/QUOTE] There are different degrees of alcoholism, and it's important to recognize that drinking alone isn't the only defining factor in whether you're an alcoholic. Going out to parties and drinking excessively every night is still a form of alcoholism. The main factors in alcoholism are whether your drinking habits are causing problems in your daily life and your relationships with others. The first thing you should consider is whether you or your friends and family think your drinking habits are harmful, and whether you're finding it difficult to lessen your drinking. Flubbman, you only got drunk once. Alcoholism is a behavior, not just a mindset. It wouldn't hurt to be wary of your drinking habits and to try and fix some of the issues you have that are causing you to view alcohol as a necessary substitute, but at this point you have nothing to worry about. Alcoholism causes loss of inhibition, so lots of people view it as helpful in social situations.

i had literally the most random situation that led to me talking to the girl i was crushing on, lets call her A I was sitting at a table with my friends in the library after school, and one of them is a girl, lets call her B. A(crush) was sitting alone at another table next to me and my friends. B knows i like A, and B without hesitation proceeds to wingman hella hard and runs over to talk to A, asking A if I was 'cute'. cue the intense awkwardness coursing through my body. A spits out the most stuttery quiet response ive ever heard, and B walks back to the table. I'm sitting there cringing hella hard when one of my friends comes back. then out of nowhere, B invites A over to me and my friend's table. I'm sitting there, a nervous wreck as my friends scoot away from me to make room for A to sit next to me *ohgodfuckingshootme* my dude friends give me the most cheekiest looks translating to "go get her, tiger". at this point im faking it till im making it, making short small talk questions to her. its like talking to a brick wall, or at least a wall that only replies with short responses. i loosen up the situation by showing her a funny pic of one of my friends, and she blurt out something like "bruh he looks like a crackhead". I laughed my ass off at that response because earlier, one of my others buddies was joking around that he would be a crackhead in the future. All was good until a math tutor shows up to help her and i can't really talk to her because of that. Later the next day my friends said that her and i look adorable together. I know what i have to do now, but does anyone have tips on how to not be a nervous wreck on the inside?

Not really anything you can do about the nervousness besides talk to her until you're comfortable. Save for maybe taking lexipro or its generic alternatives, but I assume you wanted a mental method. Judging by your description of her responses she may be just as afraid as you are. Maybe try humor and interests? It sounds like the funny picture brought the tension down. Did you manage to hear what she said in response or just that it was stuttery? Did she say anything positive? From my experience if they say you're cute/talk about you in a way a crush might to other people you should be solid. I'd have to agree with you on your friends though, kind of an asinine thing to do. I especially hate it when girls try to wingman you without you asking, it's never gone well in my past. Sounds like it wasn't a total mess here though. [editline]4th November 2015[/editline] [QUOTE=Cosa8888;49020440]That's the textbook definition of rape, no wonder why you are afraid of sex. I'd suggest that you should go see a therapist man, he will help you to cope with it and fix this problem. Also, it's great that your girlfriend understands you and supports you, I'm sure she will make it much easier.[/QUOTE] I'm glad you guys feel this way because I have a similar situation to his, except instead of fearing sex and such I'm seeking it as a replacement so I can have happy memories of sex so when I get off I don't have to think about her and what she did and be tempted to try to make things legitimate with her. She doesn't deserve it, she even emailed me recently about fucking her underage cousin to try and get me jealous to get back with her. The whole cheating, lying, manipulating and pseudo-rape (I'm still not confident that threats of further psychological fuckery (stuff like cheating/leaving/causing shit) to course consent can be claimed as rape, although I've heard sex when cheating is going on can be claimed legally, I'd love some reassurance though, if anyone's got literature proving this counts I'd love to read it) weren't where I drew the line. With people I've got a lot of endurance and I hadn't yet met anyone who wasn't redeemable, decided it was time to give up on my unrelenting hope for all human beings at the moment I read about how her 12-15 yo cousin is a g-spot king

Uh. You could definitely report her to the police if she's openly bragging about having sex with a minor. What the fuck.

Um yeah She has issues, she should probably be locked up

[QUOTE=VenomousBeetle;49047047] I'm glad you guys feel this way because I have a similar situation to his, except instead of fearing sex and such I'm seeking it as a replacement so I can have happy memories of sex so when I get off I don't have to think about her and what she did and be tempted to try to make things legitimate with her. She doesn't deserve it, she even emailed me recently about fucking her underage cousin to try and get me jealous to get back with her. The whole cheating, lying, manipulating and pseudo-rape (I'm still not confident that threats of further psychological fuckery (stuff like cheating/leaving/causing shit) to course consent can be claimed as rape, although I've heard sex when cheating is going on can be claimed legally, I'd love some reassurance though, if anyone's got literature proving this counts I'd love to read it) weren't where I drew the line. With people I've got a lot of endurance and I hadn't yet met anyone who wasn't redeemable, decided it was time to give up on my unrelenting hope for all human beings at the moment I read about how her 12-15 yo cousin is a g-spot king[/QUOTE] [t]http://puu.sh/l9tdA/ed7435e266.png[/t] Guys, this is the definition of rape. If it's against your will, it's rape. The big problem is that most of the world's justice system won't even bat an eye if a man claims that he was raped.

[IMG]http://i.imgur.com/wDTegXf.png[/IMG] [i]sighs internally[/i] how is that even relevant, rape is nonconsensual sex, anyone can be responsible for it

[QUOTE=fear me;49048742][IMG]http://i.imgur.com/wDTegXf.png[/IMG] [i]sighs internally[/i] how is that even relevant, rape is nonconsensual sex, anyone can be responsible for it[/QUOTE] [url]http://blog.oxforddictionaries.com/contact-us/[/url] I sent in a complaint, maybe if a few others do the same they'll consider changing it. You're 100% right, this has no relevance to the word's definition and is needlessly discriminatory.

[QUOTE=Guy Mannly;49051624][url]http://blog.oxforddictionaries.com/contact-us/[/url] I sent in a complaint, maybe if a few others do the same they'll consider changing it. You're 100% right, this has no relevance to the word's definition and is needlessly discriminatory.[/QUOTE] I sent an email just now. Good idea btw.

[QUOTE=Cosa8888;49048539][t]http://puu.sh/l9tdA/ed7435e266.png[/t] Guys, this is the definition of rape. If it's against your will, it's rape. The big problem is that most of the world's justice system won't even bat an eye if a man claims that he was raped.[/QUOTE] But what about coercion for consent/will like I'm talking about? Taking clear advantage of a successful manipulation to get consent type stuff? [editline]5th November 2015[/editline] [QUOTE=Pascall;49047167]Uh. You could definitely report her to the police if she's openly bragging about having sex with a minor. What the fuck.[/QUOTE] I called DCS (CPS) and idk what the fuck they've been doing I should get around to the police [editline]5th November 2015[/editline] [QUOTE=Pascall;49047167]Uh. You could definitely report her to the police if she's openly bragging about having sex with a minor. What the fuck.[/QUOTE] Worst part is I think I fucking [i]heard[/i] it. I called her at one point and her voice sounded like it did when we fooled around way back when and she said she was busy and I texted saying it sounded weird like she was having sex or something and she's like "I'm masturbating" and I called again because I was going to do the same soon anyway at the time and she'd proposed a fwb deal when she tried to come crawling back so ynaut a lil aid yknow? Her cousin answers. They are walking home from a speedway a mile or so away from home. This was all within like 15-20 mins. I was confused then but in retrospect it's pretty obvious what that was about now [editline]5th November 2015[/editline] Another bad thing is there's no leeway here, she'd used "dats illegal" as a deterrent for my accusation at one point, so she definitely knows it's wrong and if there's a legal leeway like a year law or lower age of consent she didn't even know about it