Super Friendly Social and Love Advice v7 - Bro just do it, She prob likes you - General

[QUOTE=VenomousBeetle;49047047] she even emailed me recently about fucking her underage cousin to try and get me jealous to get back with her.[/QUOTE] How fucked in the head do you have to be to actually boast about incestuous statutory rape? This lunatic needs to go to prison

I would like to be helped with a thing here. You see, there is this girl i like but not in "relationship" type like. I just wan't to have a sex relationship with her but i can't find a way to ask if she wants to "hang out". If i ask of she wants to watch a movie together she might think i like her and would like to have a relationship... I like this girl and i care about her, but i'm a sex in a relationship type guy and i would never have sex with a stranger because i don't like the idea of that. Well actually i had sex with my ex like a month after she broke up with me, i was too dumb to realize she was using me for company until she found a new guy, anyway. How do i do this? How do i approach in like a nice way without her getting upset or something. I don't want to find a relationship because my last one basically destroyed me from the inside. Sometimes i think about just approaching her and telling her what i want exactly but i don't want to lose her as a friend. Sorry for the wall of text.

I didn't say anything directly but some girl asked me if I liked them (I don't really but I had asked her friend if she'd be down for FWB deal, but she thought I did because I asked if she was with this one weirdo she'd been getting really friendly with) when she asked I just explained I'm not romantically interested but I'm not opposed to fwb and feel free to turn that down and that if they do not to let the offer change anything and if you change your mind just ask no worries. Could probably just ask what they think of fwb and then go from there, but be sure to stress that you don't want to make things weird

Having a shit time atm because I left it too late to make a move on a girl I like, anyway, what's the best way to get over someone? I keep thinking about how I went wrong every time I get reminded of her by something, and its stressing me out.

[QUOTE=VenomousBeetle;49056270]I didn't say anything directly but some girl asked me if I liked them (I don't really but I had asked her friend if she'd be down for FWB deal, but she thought I did because I asked if she was with this one weirdo she'd been getting really friendly with) when she asked I just explained I'm not romantically interested but I'm not opposed to fwb and feel free to turn that down and that if they do not to let the offer change anything and if you change your mind just ask no worries. Could probably just ask what they think of fwb and then go from there, but be sure to stress that you don't want to make things weird[/QUOTE] Sounds good. Thing is i was FWB with my ex but i guess it's not the same thing since i just mentioned " I miss the sex" then suddenly we were in bed.

I'm in a seriously tight spot at the moment. I've said before that my gf's mother is absolutely crazy. It took a turn for the worse yesterday. Her mother has always been extremely manipulative and controlling of her. My gf is 20 years old and her mother still refuses to let her have any sort of independance. Yesterday she just straight up refused to let her come up and see me. I can't go to where she lives because her mother is absolutely stubborn on not wanting to meet me, even though she has no idea what I'm like. When I talk with me gf, half of the time she likes to make white lies on spur of the moment. For example, she'll tell me she's not in contact with her Ex, next time she'll say she talked to him for a bit. That's just one of way too many examples. It's extremely hard to trust someone who constantly hides things from me and doesn't talk to me straight often. I understand covering things up when her mother is stalking and eavesdropping when we're talking on skype but I despise the fact that she still hides things from me. AND now she's not responding to my texts or messages at all. I've no idea what her mother's doing to keep her from contacting me; manipulation or physical, I've no clue. I seriously don't know what to do. I can't even support her when I can't be with her OR talk to her. If this keeps going, I'll have to end things with her. She's just letting her mother step all over her, she constantly keeps things from me and can very rarely talk to me straight/truthfully. I've been trying my absolute best to encourage her to step up to her, and even when she does, she just falls back down to being manipulated. I don't think I can help her anymore honestly. It's killing me. And it would kill me to break things up because she constantly and desperately (back when we were able to contact each other) reminded me that she didn't want to lose me. I'm seriously stuck.

[QUOTE=Jho;49056898]I'm in a seriously tight spot at the moment. I've said before that my gf's mother is absolutely crazy. It took a turn for the worse yesterday. Her mother has always been extremely manipulative and controlling of her. My gf is 20 years old and her mother still refuses to let her have any sort of independance. Yesterday she just straight up refused to let her come up and see me. I can't go to where she lives because her mother is absolutely stubborn on not wanting to meet me, even though she has no idea what I'm like. When I talk with me gf, half of the time she likes to make white lies on spur of the moment. For example, she'll tell me she's not in contact with her Ex, next time she'll say she talked to him for a bit. That's just one of way too many examples. It's extremely hard to trust someone who constantly hides things from me and doesn't talk to me straight often. I understand covering things up when her mother is stalking and eavesdropping when we're talking on skype but I despise the fact that she still hides things from me. AND now she's not responding to my texts or messages at all. I've no idea what her mother's doing to keep her from contacting me; manipulation or physical, I've no clue. I seriously don't know what to do. I can't even support her when I can't be with her OR talk to her. If this keeps going, I'll have to end things with her. She's just letting her mother step all over her, she constantly keeps things from me and can very rarely talk to me straight/truthfully. I've been trying my absolute best to encourage her to step up to her, and even when she does, she just falls back down to being manipulated. I don't think I can help her anymore honestly. It's killing me. And it would kill me to break things up because she constantly and desperately (back when we were able to contact each other) reminded me that she didn't want to lose me. I'm seriously stuck.[/QUOTE] Not to sound shitty but is it possible she's using her mom not letting her see you as another excuse? Saying "my parents won't let me" is a very common excuse to use to get out of seeing people, and you said yourself that she regularly lies to you about other things. Are you sure that her mom is the reason why she won't contact you at all?

I don't get this shit. I got quite close with a female friend of mine, was there to support her and we spent good time together every time we met and if she said she was free I'd go and meet her any time(including if I was at home at the time) and travel to uni, we spoke about a lot of personal subjects and shit, so I thought that finally I got someone I could talk to about anything, meet quite often and have good time with. Instead, it's been a week and she doesn't write me anything(she used to..) and when I asked her how's it going on monday and if she's free any time she replied with very short message that pretty much showed no interest in chat. It would've been fine if she wasn't periodically posting on FB about attending some event or going somewhere and what just feels like ignoring me. Why the fuck this keeps happening, that if I get someone close I'll lose contact with them almost immediately. What the fuck is this :(

[QUOTE=meharryp;49056646]Having a shit time atm because I left it too late to make a move on a girl I like, anyway, what's the best way to get over someone? I keep thinking about how I went wrong every time I get reminded of her by something, and its stressing me out.[/QUOTE] Find something to busy yourself with, a hobby or work or something. You'll get over it in time.

[QUOTE=Guy Mannly;49057315]Not to sound shitty but is it possible she's using her mom not letting her see you as another excuse? Saying "my parents won't let me" is a very common excuse to use to get out of seeing people, and you said yourself that she regularly lies to you about other things. Are you sure that her mom is the reason why she won't contact you at all?[/QUOTE] I've seen the texts, notes and voicemails she gets off her mum. I've even confronted her Dad about the whole situation. What you're suggesting isn't the case. But boy, I sure do wish it was, it'd be a lot easier to handle.

I have no idea what is happening anymore I am confused as fuck with this girl.

I need a little advice. You see, in chile, to enter to the university you need to do a test the year before. The test is called PSU and, based on your score and your school grades, you can choose the university and career. Say, for the state's university (Universidad de Chile), you need 770 points (the max is 850) to study medicine. This year I've been studying a lot and I'm pretty confident on my result. But my girlfriend isn't. On the "practice tests" (The test is pretty standarised, so people do practice tests on the same format to, well practice, and see how close they are to their goals) she's done, she's getting low scores. And she's getting pretty damn stressed because there's less than a month left. The thing is, I don't know what to do to make her feel better. I really don't know what to tell her to make her feel better, what can I do to make this month easier for her? (Also, as I've mentioned before, she's aspergers in case it matters)

I'd kinda like to get some perspective on something. I've gotta confess that my love life has always been pretty pitiful, throughout my whole life. I hadn't had sex, even kissed a girl until I was (I'd say) embarrassingly old. Then one night, just a few weeks ago actually, I barreled through all these firsts in one drunken night with a friend. Thing is, I've gathered from her that she just kinda wants to forget that the whole night happened, for whatever reason. Obviously I don't, since it was kind of a milestone for me. I never want to forget it. But I get the feeling it'd be a bad idea to ever TELL her I never had sex with anyone before her, even that she gave me my first kiss. Especially considering that she doesn't want to talk about it, and maybe never do it again. I feel like I want her to know this stuff sooner or later, but I don't know, would this be kind of a bummer to hear from someone? I'm sure it'd be great to tell her if we were in a serious relationship or something, but it was just a drunken hookup, and I don't think she wants anything more to spring out of it. Might just be a funny little by-the-way to tell her some months or years down the road, if we're still good friends by then.

[QUOTE=Loofiloo;49060339]I'd kinda like to get some perspective on something. I've gotta confess that my love life has always been pretty pitiful, throughout my whole life. I hadn't had sex, even kissed a girl until I was (I'd say) embarrassingly old. Then one night, just a few weeks ago actually, I barreled through all these firsts in one drunken night with a friend. Thing is, I've gathered from her that she just kinda wants to forget that the whole night happened, for whatever reason. Obviously I don't, since it was kind of a milestone for me. I never want to forget it. But I get the feeling it'd be a bad idea to ever TELL her I never had sex with anyone before her, even that she gave me my first kiss. Especially considering that she doesn't want to talk about it, and maybe never do it again. I feel like I want her to know this stuff sooner or later, but I don't know, would this be kind of a bummer to hear from someone? I'm sure it'd be great to tell her if we were in a serious relationship or something, but it was just a drunken hookup, and I don't think she wants anything more to spring out of it. Might just be a funny little by-the-way to tell her some months or years down the road, if we're still good friends by then.[/QUOTE] personally, I wouldn't tell her unless we were really good friends or had something going on. why would she need to know? I don't think I'd care that much if a girl told me it, I'd be surprised at least, but I wouldn't be negative I think. though I know that a lot of the friends I have find it embarrassing for people to lose their virginity later than 16-18, it has become a conversation topic they've brought up to me before with names and everything.

What's the deal with girls who are really into someone but once they get together they stop having feelings for him? That's happened to me and now it's happened to a friend of mine as well, it's hurtful and seems really absurd.

I guess I'm just looking for support. I met this girl a few months back, thought she was gorgeous and really cool. She wasn't interested at first, but I guess a switch flipped for her last month. We were talking on her bed one night, and we started kissing. She stopped me after a bit and said, "Just so you know, I only want to be friends with benefits." I was fine with it, at least I thought I was. We kept talking and going further and I fell very hard for her. But she'd go back and forth, telling me maybe we should slow down and then changing her mind the next day, doing this several times. We were lying in bed one afternoon and she told me she loved me and all the reasons I made her happy. I was enthralled. I told her I loved her too. Then she goes to a party that night, and in the morning she tells me she both told everyone we were dating, and kissed another guy, who she's mentioned before as being attracted to and enjoying the company of. I was devastated, and she felt awful for making me upset. But she wasn't sorry, because we weren't exclusive. Later that day, I told her that I don't think I could do it if someone else was in the picture. So she said alright and agreed to date me. 4 days pass, and she sits me down and she tells me she feels like she's lying, because she's not romantically attracted to me like she is to that other guy. She tells me it hurts her to say, but she would rather have me know. And she wants to see him and still see me, without exclusivity or commitment from either of us. I tell her I can't do that. She doesn't want us to end though. She doesn't know what she'd rather have. So we decide on a break. 2 weeks, no contact, and no exclusivity. She can go explore that guy or whatever. When time is up, she tells me what she wants and what she did. And we go from there. I'm 2 days in, and it's been hell on earth. I'm probably being too generous. And I know what most people would say, which is that she isn't worth my time if she doesn't choose me first. But I want to try. For her and for me. Because if there's a chance, I'm willing to take it. She's worth it. [B]TLDR;[/B] The first half of No Strings Attached.

[QUOTE=antair;49065101]I guess I'm just looking for support. I met this girl a few months back, thought she was gorgeous and really cool. She wasn't interested at first, but I guess a switch flipped for her last month. We were talking on her bed one night, and we started kissing. She stopped me after a bit and said, "Just so you know, I only want to be friends with benefits." I was fine with it, at least I thought I was. We kept talking and going further and I fell very hard for her. But she'd go back and forth, telling me maybe we should slow down and then changing her mind the next day, doing this several times. We were lying in bed one afternoon and she told me she loved me and all the reasons I made her happy. I was enthralled. I told her I loved her too. Then she goes to a party that night, and in the morning she tells me she both told everyone we were dating, and kissed another guy, who she's mentioned before as being attracted to and enjoying the company of. I was devastated, and she felt awful for making me upset. But she wasn't sorry, because we weren't exclusive. Later that day, I told her that I don't think I could do it if someone else was in the picture. So she said alright and agreed to date me. 4 days pass, and she sits me down and she tells me she feels like she's lying, because she's not romantically attracted to me like she is to that other guy. She tells me it hurts her to say, but she would rather have me know. And she wants to see him and still see me, without exclusivity or commitment from either of us. I tell her I can't do that. She doesn't want us to end though. She doesn't know what she'd rather have. So we decide on a break. 2 weeks, no contact, and no exclusivity. She can go explore that guy or whatever. When time is up, she tells me what she wants and what she did. And we go from there. I'm 2 days in, and it's been hell on earth. I'm probably being too generous. And I know what most people would say, which is that she isn't worth my time if she doesn't choose me first. But I want to try. For her and for me. Because if there's a chance, I'm willing to take it. She's worth it. [B]TLDR;[/B] The first half of No Strings Attached.[/QUOTE] She's 100% not worth it. She literally told you "I feel more for person B than you". Your time would be better spent elsewhere. "No strings attached" is only supposed to work if everyone in the relationship (sorry, pseudo relationship) is on the same page.

[QUOTE=Disseminate;49066800]She's 100% not worth it. She literally told you "I feel more for person B than you". Your time would be better spent elsewhere. "No strings attached" is only supposed to work if everyone in the relationship (sorry, pseudo relationship) is on the same page.[/QUOTE] Yeah, I get what you're saying. She's never been in a real relationship before and she doesn't have very good self control. The reason I'm waiting is because I want to find out if she's willing to try to overcome that immaturity, which is what I'm attributing her whole attitude about the other guy and her fear of commitment. I think she knows better and I'm hoping she can reach that conclusion. But I'm prepared for her not to, and I've been keeping busy. I'm feeling a lot better than I was a few hours ago. Thank you, Facepunchers.

iiiiiiiiiiiiif say I was interested in somebody but didn't really interact with them much other than a few occasional words in and out of the course What's an acceptable way of getting to know them? That's not too forward, weird, whatever.

Hi I think you're pretty cool wanna do x activity with me some time?

[QUOTE=_Axel;49065055]What's the deal with girls who are really into someone but once they get together they stop having feelings for him? That's happened to me and now it's happened to a friend of mine as well, it's hurtful and seems really absurd.[/QUOTE] This is my exact situation, and it's hell to move past it, because not only was she my girlfriend she was my best friend, so I'm kinda left without either of those to pick up the pieces. I've tried to do everything I can to move on, working out, hanging out with friends, focusing on academics, they all just seem like distractions for me, because at the end of the day when I'm alone with my thoughts and shit, I just start thinking about it all. I'd love to just fucking get over it already believe me. At this point though I'm just getting sick of moping around, so me having enough of this shit plus the onsetting apathy may be what helps me get past the relationship. I've been lurking in this thread and people have said some helpful things, not to me exclusively, but shit that I can apply to my life, and that has definitely helped, so I'd just like to say thanks to everyone here.

If a girl never texts me first and usually replies with very short senteces, is that a sign?

[QUOTE=Kirbyfactor;49068346]If a girl never texts me first and usually replies with very short senteces, is that a sign?[/QUOTE] Yes. It's a sign that you're overthinking.

I got told that I'm handsome at a party last night, never had that happen to me before. i'm guessing it's because of my confidence having been really high lately

[QUOTE=Zar;49068803]I got told that I'm handsome at a party last night, never had that happen to me before. i'm guessing it's because of my confidence having been really high lately[/QUOTE] Or maybe it's because there are people out there that actually find you handsome, that you haven't noticed before, and you're starting to notice them back because you're growing out of your insecurities.

[QUOTE=marmalade;49068190]This is my exact situation, and it's hell to move past it, because not only was she my girlfriend she was my best friend, so I'm kinda left without either of those to pick up the pieces. I've tried to do everything I can to move on, working out, hanging out with friends, focusing on academics, they all just seem like distractions for me, because at the end of the day when I'm alone with my thoughts and shit, I just start thinking about it all. I'd love to just fucking get over it already believe me. At this point though I'm just getting sick of moping around, so me having enough of this shit plus the onsetting apathy may be what helps me get past the relationship. I've been lurking in this thread and people have said some helpful things, not to me exclusively, but shit that I can apply to my life, and that has definitely helped, so I'd just like to say thanks to everyone here.[/QUOTE] Been like that for months, tried to remain a friend for her. At some point though she told me she has never felt anything but friendship for me, which is blatant bullshit considering what we've been through (I asked her out because she told me she had sleepless nights thinking about me for fuck's sake), right after I found out she had made up excuses to dodge my proposals for hanging out because she didn't want me to find out she had a new boyfriend. From that point on I stopped talking to her because I couldn't help but feel angry at her. Now that I've stopped interacting altogether I've been able to move on more easily, might be interested in some other girl now. But that inexplicable flip-flopping really astounds and concerns me. If there's an explanation to it I'd like to hear it.

I wish I had some confidence [editline]7th November 2015[/editline] Good on you though, at least people are changing for the better

[QUOTE=Behemoth_PT;49068862]Or maybe it's because there are people out there that actually find you handsome, that you haven't noticed before, and you're starting to notice them back because you're growing out of your insecurities.[/QUOTE] could very well be, I was connecting pretty well with everyone and they were all strangers to me. some pretty cute girls there, a shame they left early.

[QUOTE=_Axel;49068886]Been like that for months, tried to remain a friend for her. At some point though she told me she has never felt anything but friendship for me, which is blatant bullshit considering what we've been through (I asked her out because she told me she had sleepless nights thinking about me for fuck's sake), right after I found out she had made up excuses to dodge my proposals for hanging out because she didn't want me to find out she had a new boyfriend. From that point on I stopped talking to her because I couldn't help but feel angry at her. Now that I've stopped interacting altogether I've been able to move on more easily, might be interested in some other girl now. But that inexplicable flip-flopping really astounds and concerns me. If there's an explanation to it I'd like to hear it.[/QUOTE] blind infatuation or need of attention? some people will do anything for attention and others will believe they are obsessed with someone or the idea of someone for a short time only to slowly or suddenly realize its not what they want

[QUOTE=VIOLATION_SNG;49069056]blind infatuation or need of attention? some people will do anything for attention and others will believe they are obsessed with someone or the idea of someone for a short time only to slowly or suddenly realize its not what they want[/QUOTE] I guess the former fits her personality better. Perhaps I have too high an opinion of her though.