Super Friendly Social and Love Advice v7 - Bro just do it, She prob likes you - General

well in that case i don't know what advice you even want next time you're hanging out say "hey i like you and stuff do you want to go out sometime and do whatever" and then she'll say "obviously, idiot, look at how i've been acting around you" and hten you'll go on a date and it'll be fun for a while and then you'll grow apart and when you break up it'll turn out that there was another guy she was interested in but knew she was dating you so you two break up and then she's dating the new guy in two days classic hollywood love story

Even if she isn't outright cheating, you don't go for a girl fresh out of a relationship. Rebounds are not really a good idea and while they CAN work, I'd say the percentage for success is very very low.

[QUOTE=Pascall;49132545]Even if she isn't outright cheating, you don't go for a girl fresh out of a relationship. Rebounds are not really a good idea and while they CAN work, I'd say the percentage for success is very very low.[/QUOTE] What's considered "fresh" exactly?

"This Friday" is too soon. I would wait at least a few weeks to a month. Sometimes people just out of a relationship will go crawling back to their recent ex within that time frame and you want to be sure that you aren't just the distraction pillow.

I'm only interested in certain types of girls, and they seem hard to come by. Is this a me problem? For me to become romantically interested in someone, they have to meet the criteria I have set for their personality and interests. I'm sure I could meet a "nice" girl in person, but my type really seems to be the most accessible online. [editline]17th November 2015[/editline] How is this dumb?

You have standards and likes/dislikes, just like anyone else. It's not weird.

before my first girlfriend i would crush on almost anyone. now it takes a ton before i feel lovey or what you would call it. havent felt a emotional attraction to anyone in a long time now, except 1 sweet girl i blew an opportunity with aw

Man, the sadness and nostalgia is really getting to me. I know it's normal and all, but I don't really like how it feels.

-snip-

You can go out on dates with her. Didn't say you couldn't. I'm just saying you need to give it some time before proposing any sort of serious relationship.

[QUOTE=Pascall;49132925]You have standards and likes/dislikes, just like anyone else. It's not weird.[/QUOTE] That's what I thought, but people seem to make it weird. Or maybe I'm just being captain obvious over here. [editline]17th November 2015[/editline] I have online friends who I would consider "hardcore gamers" who tell me that their girlfriends "aren't into video games at all." It's shit like that I don't understand.

She doesn't have to be like you. It's good but similar tastes aren't what bind people together, so I'd suggest getting out of your comfort zone and try something different too. Maybe you'll learn other stuff and won't be so closed up in your own tastes.

Might also be that their girlfriends are into casual games like phone games, but said "hardcore gamers" don't consider those to be video games so there's a disconnect. Also might just be that the couples have different hobbies that they share other than video games because that's not the only thing you can share, y'know? Idk. I tend to stay away from people who are "hardcore gamers" lol. I don't need that kind of stress in my life.

Dude, if she dominates Dwarf Fortress then you know she's the one.

[QUOTE=pdp;49133944]That's what I thought, but people seem to make it weird. Or maybe I'm just being captain obvious over here. [editline]17th November 2015[/editline] I have online friends who I would consider "hardcore gamers" who tell me that their girlfriends "aren't into video games at all." It's shit like that I don't understand.[/QUOTE] Maybe you should look for some hobbies aside from video games. You have the opportunity to use your free time for personal enrichment or to have new experiences - don't blow it all on the same few games that you've already experienced enough. I personally made a rule for myself about a year ago to read at least one new book a month since I tend to fall into repeating the same experiences too.

Video games are great fun, but it's easy to get caught up in the community and gaming. And once doing so it's pretty easy to lose track of time from that point. I know that from personal experience. I had friends on steam to vent and play with, I had fun playing, but I would also spend an enormous amount of time playing video games. And once I got to bed, I would think a lot about my life, and what I had outside of that video game globe. So I went looking for something to get shocked at and I looked up on steam how many hours I spent playing Dota 2 for instance. It was the equivalent of 2 months. I spent a total of 2 fucking months of my life on a single video game, and I have about 200 on my steam library. It shocked me because it's pretty much more time than most of my relationships lasted. And then I decided to moderate myself. And I found it pretty hard to do so. To break the nasty habit of getting back home and NOT turning on the PC. Also started reading books, studying, watching series, getting interests, a social life back and all that. I still play, but not as much, I broke it off and now if I spend more than 1:30h playing something, I get bored pretty easily because I already tasted how better life is out there.

My girlfriend's mom keeps messaging me on fb telling me to take it slow wtf A while ago, she told me she is incapable of love, I don't want to smack talk, but her mom is very.. eh.. ?? She wasn't even raised by her mom primarily, it was her grandma.

[QUOTE=Behemoth_PT;49134493]And then I decided to moderate myself. And I found it pretty hard to do so. To break the nasty habit of getting back home and NOT turning on the PC. Also started reading books, studying, watching series, getting interests, a social life back and all that.[/QUOTE] I don't even want to talk about how many hours I have on my druid in WoW... and I got back into League a while back so I'm not exactly perfect either. But I also read two books last week so I like to tell myself it balances out. Multiplayer gaming is one thing and single player is another. I try to engage in new experiences regularly and I count things like movies, TV shows, and single player video games among those things as well. I think the issue is that most of us have a few favorite games that we return to again and again even though we're not getting anything new out of it. It's my opinion that anything's healthy in moderation. There's nothing wrong with putting a few hours into Dota if it's not consuming all of your free time. [editline]17th November 2015[/editline] I look at it like this, in an hour and a half I could advance my experience of League by 1/1500th (since I have around 3000 games played), or I could advance my experience of a movie I haven't seen by 100%.

My problem was that, at a certain point I let Dota (and other games in the in-betweens) consume my free time, and the time that I didn't have. I'm taking a very demanding degree as I told here before, but everyday, no matter if it was an exam eve or test eve, I would find a way to squeeze in a couple of hours to put into dota. And then since I'm the great procrastinator, getting back from a bad game to a studious mindset was terrible. I would get lost here, and then facebook, and then, oh it's 4 PM, better make me some toast, and then I would just find myself studying 2 hours before midnight in a hurry. I later ballanced dota with CS GO, but I started moderating myself. Made a huge effort to just not turn on my PC and do my homework first, or just not stay home to play because of excuses like "oh I keep going out with the same crowd over and over". And then, by divine intervention on the first day of summer vacation, my PSU decides to burn my entire PC and voilá, shock therapy! I'm currently using my dad's Sony Vaio, packing only an old ass integrated Intel Graphic card where I can only play old or indie games. Joy of Joys, I think it was the best thing that happened to me during summer and one of the main reasons I still haven't invested any money in re-building my PC. And in the meantime I'm investing that money on things I have long dreamed of doing, like getting some drumming lessons and surf (there's a beach with great waves about 5 minutes from my uni and it's November and it's still warm enough to wear a T-shirt!)

[QUOTE=Pascall;49133971]Might also be that their girlfriends are into casual games like phone games, but said "hardcore gamers" don't consider those to be video games so there's a disconnect. Also might just be that the couples have different hobbies that they share other than video games because that's not the only thing you can share, y'know? Idk. I tend to stay away from people who are "hardcore gamers" lol. I don't need that kind of stress in my life.[/QUOTE] I know what you mean, but I don't want to have to force a friendship where there isn't one, is all I'm saying. Video games was just an example. I need some common ground with a girl outside of physical attraction. It could be anything, really, but if I can't relate to them, I just won't be interested.

[QUOTE=pdp;49132603]I'm only interested in certain types of girls, and they seem hard to come by. Is this a me problem? For me to become romantically interested in someone, they have to meet the criteria I have set for their personality and interests. I'm sure I could meet a "nice" girl in person, but my type really seems to be the most accessible online. [editline]17th November 2015[/editline] How is this dumb?[/QUOTE] Everyone likes a certain type of girl so it's normal. I like to think that even a girl with which I don't have much in common can be a pretty good person as well as a good partner. Yeah everyone loves gamer girls and that but those are hardly free since in my case it seems all of them are taken.

:snip:

Right Just lost my best mate I have literally no friends now besides my family What do.

[QUOTE=Guy Mannly;49129422]Go have fun. There's no reason for you to force yourself to be miserable. Both of you are already going to have a hard time adjusting to the breakup, there's no reason to make it worse on yourself. It's also really, really not her business who you hang out with, whether or not you're in a relationship with her. You shouldn't feel guilty for hanging out with friends just because they're female.[/QUOTE] Well, I don't think I'll be going anywhere any time soon. My parents won't let me hang out with my best friend because I have to "think of (my) ex" Fuck that. God, they even said my best friend was a liar and a manipulator and they even haven't seen her face. Why is everyone so goddamn crazy?

[QUOTE=based;49135827]Right Just lost my best mate I have literally no friends now besides my family What do.[/QUOTE] Make friends with workmates, or join a group with people, or go online on tinder or okcupid, as one does, etc.

How can I stop living in fear? I am really happy with my current SO right now, but I have huge anxiety every day that everything good might end. I almost feel like wanting to kill myself still.. There's no fucking winning for me or happiness or anything. Fuck

[QUOTE=GURREN LAGANN;49138420]How can I stop living in fear? I am really happy with my current SO right now, but I have huge anxiety every day that everything good might end. I almost feel like wanting to kill myself still.. There's no fucking winning for me or happiness or anything. Fuck[/QUOTE] I highly recommend you talk in this thread [url]https://facepunch.com/showthread.php?t=1483573[/url] You'll get much better advice there!

[QUOTE=GURREN LAGANN;49138420]How can I stop living in fear? I am really happy with my current SO right now, but I have huge anxiety every day that everything good might end. I almost feel like wanting to kill myself still.. There's no fucking winning for me or happiness or anything. Fuck[/QUOTE] very important to know that your SO is not your life, but rather an extension to your life. it's a bonus, nothing more. if she ends it, it shouldn't get in the way of your life. try doing things that improve your confidence, your view on yourself, be more happy with yourself.

[QUOTE=Cosa8888;49136852]Well, I don't think I'll be going anywhere any time soon. My parents won't let me hang out with my best friend because I have to "think of (my) ex" Fuck that. God, they even said my best friend was a liar and a manipulator and they even haven't seen her face. Why is everyone so goddamn crazy?[/QUOTE] The fuck? What rights do your parents have over your personal life? They should mind their own business.

My father used to be like that too. And still is. It got so bad that things get pretty sour very easily between me and him. I hate frustrated parents who project their frustrated dreams on their children. You need to stand up and unallow him to interfere with your social life. Even if his supositions turn out to be right, that is something you need to know for yourself. If your parents are in fact controling then you need to deny them the power to control you. Assuming you're over 18, you're an adult and they need to let go of the child you once were. So if you want to go somewhere STOP asking for their permission, rides and money. Just go. I remember my father disaproving of me going to concerts or meeting friends in other cities, but since l lived in the osolated suburbs l needed to go out and experience life. My father was the main obstacle to that... so l thought. I stopped convincing myself that l needed him to be happy. So l would just walk for half an hour to the train station and go wherever l wanted to go. Didn't care if l had a place to sleep, a ride back home or whatever. Sometimes l would just risk it and go anyway if l didn't have the money for a train ticket. Once you free yourself from those chains you'll realize that you can do far more than you think and no one can stop you. And to be honest if there's a time to be free is when you're young. You can eat anything, you can sleep anywhere and you can work anywhere. But you gotta be willing to relinquish some comforts that are binding you to a stale and boring life.