Super Friendly Social and Love Advice v7 - Bro just do it, She prob likes you - General

When your parents tell you how to behave, it's important to ask yourself what would actually happen if you didn't go through with it. Your parents tell you that you shouldn't go enjoy yourself out of respect for your ex - but if you were to ignore them, do you think anything bad would really happen? Do you think they would kick you out of the house if you disobeyed them on this one thing? We teach other people how to treat us. If you don't show other people where your boundaries are, they'll walk right over them. [editline]18th November 2015[/editline] And, as others have said, it's seriously not their business what you do. If you don't think your parents are going to have worthwhile opinions on events in your life, you don't need to tell them about them.

My father has the annoying habit of barging in on my room without knocking. He just opens the door wide open, ask me "oi, what are you doing?" and then comes check what I'm doing on my laptop. I feel like I have no privacy whatsoever with him. I even developed a severe case of paruresis because of him. Because he NEVER knocks and we don't have keys on the bathrooms anymore since my grandfather slipped and hurt himself while locked inside. I would get frustrated and would tell him to not do that and his justification was "This is my house, I'm not going to knock!" and, even though he doesn't know how to operate a computer he blasted €700 on a shitty 32bit Sony Vaio with Windows Vista, right in front of me, ignoring all my appeals, because "It's a Sony, and it's not for you it's for me. I know you're angling for it, but I won't let you buy a PC for your stupid games (I already had a PC for playing)", and left it untouched at home. I started using it to try and teach him but he wouldn't practice and kept asking the same shit over and over. Since he saw my unwillingness to teach a lost cause, he took the computer with him to his office where he left it there for a year just so I wouldn't get near him. It really pissed me off because I don't work and I needed a laptop to bring uni, and seeing my dad carelessly blasting away so much money on a laptop he never used really pissed me off. So I started to confront him about it and he would lie saying he used the computer everyday. I pushed further because I needed a laptop for assignments at uni, and the arguments started getting so loud that my Mom had to step in and yell at my father for a little bit of decency. I got his computer, but he would still use the fact that if I "misbehaved" he could take it away to his office (which he did a bunch of times). And I could never use it to browse facebook or visit non related work stuff because if he knew he would lock it away and hide it. Like a child. Now I may not be the best of sons, but used to work for free in his company during the Summers. He wouldn't pay me. Said it would build character. I got so mad at him, that I discovered his Laptop hiding place, formated it without his consent, installed windows 10 and I've been taking it to uni almost everyday. He just stopped complaining, because I stopped asking for his consent and because he would look bad in front of my mom for not lending me the laptop. Well, now the thing IS mine. But I'm stuck with this 32bit piece of crap that's been freezing non stop with things like Java sdk and a simulation kit for an important assignment. And since I currently have no money to get another one, and my Desktop PC isn't working, I'll be stuck with this expensive piece of crap for a long time. And this is just the tip of the ice-berg on the shit I have to put up with my dad. However, if I kept paying attention to what he keeps telling me, asking for his permission and all that, I'd still be stuck in my room everyday feeling miserable. But I decided to circle around the issue and adapt. Now I lock my room door. It made him mad at the beginning but now he learned to knock. He didn't like my ex, wanted us to stay in the living room and not in my room with the door closed. Ignored him and stayed with her in my room with the door locked (still wouldn't have sex with my parents in out of respect). Etc Etc... With time we learn that our life is only conditioned by other people if we allow it to happen. This was something I learned with counseling because my mind would completely cave in at every criticism my father would make about me. Now I feel that he respects me more.

Thank you guys, what you say sounds really... I don't know, sound very alien to me. Just walking out disobeying your parents, I mean, surely they would get angry at me but nothing else. Guess I'll just tell them were I'll be since I'm just 17 and that's out of respect. Also, the most fucked uo thing happened today. We had to go to the school to do a graduation rehearsal, and when we were done I was walking out with a friend, when my ex grabbed me from my arm and told me "we need to talk" She screamed at me. It even had an echo. About how I never listened to her and how much of a selfish fuck I am. I stopped listening because I was honestly afraid that she would hit me so I was just backing off. When I could mutter some words, I asked her what was her problem, and she yelled "YOU!" and walked away calling me a dog. What the ever loving fuck? Yeah know I now I won't go back with her anytime soon.

[QUOTE=Cosa8888;49142731]Thank you guys, what you say sounds really... I don't know, sound very alien to me. Just walking out disobeying your parents, I mean, surely they would get angry at me but nothing else.[/QUOTE] Think of it this way. Parents of kids who don't listen don't usually come up with these ridiculous rules because they know they have to pick their battles. When you listen to EVERYTHING your parents tell you to do, you're making it easy for them to nitpick and encroach on your own freedom. When you change where you set your boundaries, it will surprise people, but they'll get over it. Your parents will be pretty surprised if you've been super obedient your entire life and suddenly tell them to fuck off. But people will respect your boundaries if you stick to them. It's also very important that you're clear about your boundaries - if someone oversteps your boundaries in their requests, and you concede, you're giving them the message that you aren't actually serious about the boundaries you've given them, and that if they keep overstepping those boundaries, you're going to keep giving in.

[QUOTE=Behemoth_PT;49142106]...Now I feel that he respects me more.[/QUOTE] Moreover, he's the one who knocks now.

[QUOTE=sourcegamer101;49100823]Are you me? This literally is what happened to me when i and my friend walked home from school and i chilled at his place for a bit Its like he literally understands the stress of the situation im going through and gave pretty deep advice, something id never expect come out of a person like him Hes also really adamant on getting me with the girl too and seems pretty dedicated to it[/QUOTE] I got rejected it is actually a relief believe it or not, and my friends were supporting me, so i have people to fall back to. Amazingly enough, im finding im coping just fine. I feel liberated and more confident talking to people overall, and im starting to talk to girls a lot more.

[QUOTE=Cosa8888;49142731]Thank you guys, what you say sounds really... I don't know, sound very alien to me. Just walking out disobeying your parents, I mean, surely they would get angry at me but nothing else. Guess I'll just tell them were I'll be since I'm just 17 and that's out of respect. Also, the most fucked uo thing happened today. We had to go to the school to do a graduation rehearsal, and when we were done I was walking out with a friend, when my ex grabbed me from my arm and told me "we need to talk" She screamed at me. It even had an echo. About how I never listened to her and how much of a selfish fuck I am. I stopped listening because I was honestly afraid that she would hit me so I was just backing off. When I could mutter some words, I asked her what was her problem, and she yelled "YOU!" and walked away calling me a dog. What the ever loving fuck? Yeah know I now I won't go back with her anytime soon.[/QUOTE] dude in those situations all you can do is laugh really. I mean how fucked up is that? She just took you aside and started screaming at you and you didn't even [I]do[/I] anything. Fuck that man, how stupid can you get

[QUOTE=killerteacup;49144106]dude in those situations all you can do is laugh really. I mean how fucked up is that? She just took you aside and started screaming at you and you didn't even [I]do[/I] anything. Fuck that man, how stupid can you get[/QUOTE] Holy shit I didn't see that part of his post before. They say you never really know someone until you've broken up with them. Now you've seen who your ex is when she no longer has anything to gain by being nice to you.

She says she doesn't feel that we belong together anymore.. says that we've lost our chemistry. I don't know what I've done, been sweet and loveable in my opinion, and it happened kinda sudden. My friends say I should just accept it and move on but I feel that I can save the chemistry with her, but how? Help me dr. facepunch

Found another guy probably. If it happened so sudden that is.

[QUOTE=Cosa8888;49142731]Thank you guys, what you say sounds really... I don't know, sound very alien to me. Just walking out disobeying your parents, I mean, surely they would get angry at me but nothing else. Guess I'll just tell them were I'll be since I'm just 17 and that's out of respect. Also, the most fucked uo thing happened today. We had to go to the school to do a graduation rehearsal, and when we were done I was walking out with a friend, when my ex grabbed me from my arm and told me "we need to talk" She screamed at me. It even had an echo. About how I never listened to her and how much of a selfish fuck I am. I stopped listening because I was honestly afraid that she would hit me so I was just backing off. When I could mutter some words, I asked her what was her problem, and she yelled "YOU!" and walked away calling me a dog. What the ever loving fuck? Yeah know I now I won't go back with her anytime soon.[/QUOTE] It is important to not fall in the error of being disrespectful in doing so, though. Avoiding direct conflict. It's just a matter of going around their permission to get what you want and what you need. It's important not to be rude, or else they WILL punish you or find a way to make it hard for you. Your point is making them see you're independent and confident in that independence rather than send a message that says "look at me! I«m challenging your authority". It is important that you still help out at home, on chores and all that. Because it's easy to fall prey to arrogance once you're trying to stand your ground. However when it comes to your own happiness and the construction of your social life, you MUST, for the sake of your own emotional growth experience life to it's fullest. No one has the right to stop you.

Had my first proper job interview yesterday and I got the call this morning saying I actually got the motherfucker. Apparently the guy got intrigued when I mentioned my favorite movies were mainly 80s cult horror/mysteries like Jacobs Ladder and Angel Heart. Don't start until December but my salary is £170 weekly :excited:

So there is this chick who i met once and she added me on facebook and started chatting with me. We chatted for a couple of days but now she is not writing to me anymore for some reason, our last conversation ended pretty quick than usual. Does this mean she is not interested? Thing is she added me on facebook and she was the one who wrote first the first couple of days. What to do? Should i write something?

[QUOTE=Bucketboy;49146731]So there is this chick who i met once and she added me on facebook and started chatting with me. We chatted for a couple of days but now she is not writing to me anymore for some reason, our last conversation ended pretty quick than usual. Does this mean she is not interested? Thing is she added me on facebook and she was the one who wrote first the first couple of days. What to do? Should i write something?[/QUOTE] I don't know dude, have you actually tried talking to her. That's a good place to start.

[QUOTE=RainbowStalin;49147849]I don't know dude, have you actually tried talking to her. That's a good place to start.[/QUOTE] Well, We spoke for a couple of days and then i asked if she wanted to meet, to hang out and talk and She replied by being shocked that i actually wanted to meet her and said she did not think i wanted to meet her. She said she was not "brave" enough to ask but then she came up with an excuse saying it would have been nice but she had to clean her apartment but she would write again if she was done early. So 2 days ago i tried to start a conversation but it ended very quickly because she did not reply. So we did not chat since then, anyway i decided to msg her today and she replied once, then i asked what she was doing and silence. She have seen it but did not reply. So i guess something happend? Not going to msg her again because i don't want to seem desperat. She gave me the feeling she liked me because she was suprised i actually wanted to see her because she was afraid of asking and she sent a smiley with eye hearts once. I was going to ask her today if she wanted to hang out on Friday. To sum it up,I met her once for like 10 mins when i drove a friend of mine and hers to town, she adds me on facebook after i dropped them off and she started chatting with me.

This morning, my ex kept messaging me telling me that she's sorry, asking how can I leave her like that and saying that she need to count on me. So I told her to be calm and to please leave me alone because I couldn't make it as if yesterday didn't happen. So she stopped and I've been feeling really sick since then, it even makes studying very hard for me since I just lose motivation. Also, I barely talked to my friends today since they were away most of the day. To top this, my parents want me to not be too happy because I should "respect my relationship with her" and they keep telling me it's all my fault (Even my ex yelling at me yesterday) and that I made a mistake by ending it now. My dad only cares about that fucking test I have in like two weeks, to the point of saying that all my life led to this. None of this is helping me at all. I just feel awful and really unmotivated to do anything.

[QUOTE=Cosa8888;49149495]To top this, my parents want me to not be too happy because I should "respect my relationship with her"[/QUOTE] what the hell does this even mean? it's just a breakup, it's not like there was a death in the family

Need some social advice please. Apparently my parents decided to go to my grandmother's house for thanksgiving, bringing me along. Also going to be there are several cousins and aunts and uncles on my mom's side. Every time I'm around them all that side of the family does is constantly insult me and bring me down. I can't deal with that anymore. What kind of scheme can I cook up to get out of this? I already suggested I stay home to take care of the pets, but my parents insist we won't be gone that many days to worry about it.

[QUOTE=Cosa8888;49149495]This morning, my ex kept messaging me telling me that she's sorry, asking how can I leave her like that and saying that she need to count on me. So I told her to be calm and to please leave me alone because I couldn't make it as if yesterday didn't happen. So she stopped and I've been feeling really sick since then, it even makes studying very hard for me since I just lose motivation. Also, I barely talked to my friends today since they were away most of the day. To top this, my parents want me to not be too happy because I should "respect my relationship with her" and they keep telling me it's all my fault (Even my ex yelling at me yesterday) and that I made a mistake by ending it now. My dad only cares about that fucking test I have in like two weeks, to the point of saying that all my life led to this. None of this is helping me at all. I just feel awful and really unmotivated to do anything.[/QUOTE] Your parents sound very childish in their views regarding your relationship. I would suggest you refrain from talking to them about your relationship right now - they're probably not going to have anything more helpful to say on the subject.

:snip: I'm a child.

[QUOTE=Cosa8888;49149495]This morning, my ex kept messaging me telling me that she's sorry, asking how can I leave her like that and saying that she need to count on me. So I told her to be calm and to please leave me alone because I couldn't make it as if yesterday didn't happen. So she stopped and I've been feeling really sick since then, it even makes studying very hard for me since I just lose motivation. Also, I barely talked to my friends today since they were away most of the day. To top this, my parents want me to not be too happy because I should "respect my relationship with her" and they keep telling me it's all my fault (Even my ex yelling at me yesterday) and that I made a mistake by ending it now. My dad only cares about that fucking test I have in like two weeks, to the point of saying that all my life led to this. None of this is helping me at all. I just feel awful and really unmotivated to do anything.[/QUOTE] Don't listen to your parents.

[QUOTE=Cosa8888;49149495]This morning, my ex kept messaging me telling me that she's sorry, asking how can I leave her like that and saying that she need to count on me. So I told her to be calm and to please leave me alone because I couldn't make it as if yesterday didn't happen. So she stopped and I've been feeling really sick since then, it even makes studying very hard for me since I just lose motivation. Also, I barely talked to my friends today since they were away most of the day. To top this, my parents want me to not be too happy because I should "respect my relationship with her" and they keep telling me it's all my fault (Even my ex yelling at me yesterday) and that I made a mistake by ending it now. My dad only cares about that fucking test I have in like two weeks, to the point of saying that all my life led to this. None of this is helping me at all. I just feel awful and really unmotivated to do anything.[/QUOTE] Hey you broke up! She's not your problem anymore, don't talk to her because she probably feels like you are moving on to quick or something...

[QUOTE=Cosa8888;49149495]This morning, my ex kept messaging me telling me that she's sorry, asking how can I leave her like that and saying that she need to count on me. So I told her to be calm and to please leave me alone because I couldn't make it as if yesterday didn't happen. So she stopped and I've been feeling really sick since then, it even makes studying very hard for me since I just lose motivation. Also, I barely talked to my friends today since they were away most of the day. To top this, my parents want me to not be too happy because I should "respect my relationship with her" and they keep telling me it's all my fault (Even my ex yelling at me yesterday) and that I made a mistake by ending it now. My dad only cares about that fucking test I have in like two weeks, to the point of saying that all my life led to this. None of this is helping me at all. I just feel awful and really unmotivated to do anything.[/QUOTE] I can see a lot of similarities between your parents and mine. I don't think they are bad people nor mean you harm. They're just over protective maybe because you shared too much with them over time and ask too much permission from them so they feel they have a say in your relationship and your life. Remember that parents are parents, not friends. As for your studies, it's normal that your parents are worrying. But they are also pressuring you with your tests and focusing too much on your results rather than your well being that affects those results. I think you need to reflect upon how far you are in your degree and if it's worthwhile. Think about the degree's perspectives for the future and if that's really what you want. If not, don't be afraid to change until you find your place. You're still young and if there's a time to evaluate your life and experience as much as you need to find your own place, rather than following your parent's expectations, it is now. And this is one thing you need to let them know every time they voice their disapproval at your life choices. There is nothing wrong with having doubts about the path you're taking, and there is nothing wrong to be unsure and to have other problems affect you. We're not made of iron. Everyone shits their pants at the future. Just don't stop looking, don't let the criticism let you cave in to apathy. It is normal to feel down and hopeless in your situation. Feeling like no one gives a damn about what you want for yourself and having your parents making you feel like a fool for voicing your dreams. Don't let it happen. Share your dreams only with worthwhile people. Anyway, you also need to focus about your studies, and despite having the right to take some time to stay sad and reflect about your issues, that you stay on course and face reality and muster back the strength to study. Because no matter if it's something your parents yell at you, it's still important. Stay strong and keep steady. I think that for the first time you're starting to make decisions on your own and seeing the consequences of those decisions. And at first that gets a little overwhelming. But sailing into the unknown and gaining experience in the open sea is way better than being stranded waiting for the wind to blow on your sails. Stay strong. We're all fucking lost, trying to put some sense in our lives. You're not alone.

Ok so I'm FWB with this 18 year-old girl who's got a 28 year-old internet boyfriend. Pretty standard stuff up to the point where she's already visited him, and he's coming to visit her over the winter break, and he's basically a more stunted TotalBiscuit. I'm not fucking He-Man or anything but my spirit vegetable is absolutely not the boiled potato. She 100% wants attention and intimacy and I'm like "yo we went into this with you already having an internet boyfriend and this is clearly not a capital R Relationship." [editline]20th November 2015[/editline] I don't have any idea what I really want, but it's absolutely easier to have someone to bang than not to? [editline]20th November 2015[/editline] He's very british and not in the hot way.

[QUOTE=Behemoth_PT;49151216]-stuff-[/QUOTE] Yeh, I know their intentions are the best, but I'm already starting to put limits on their control. Also I will stop talking about my personal stuff with them, i don't think they give really good advice :v. Also, I'm not taking a degree yet, I finished high school and the test's result dictates wich degrees can I take and where, so you can understand why it's so important. Fortunately, I don't really have doubts about my future career, my parents obviously want me to be a doctor or an engineer but I'm going for a bachelor's degree in astronomy, and then, a doctor's degree in the same subject. [QUOTE]Stay strong and keep steady. I think that for the first time you're starting to make decisions on your own and seeing the consequences of those decisions. And at first that gets a little overwhelming. But sailing into the unknown and gaining experience in the open sea is way better than being stranded waiting for the wind to blow on your sails. Stay strong. We're all fucking lost, trying to put some sense in our lives. You're not alone.[/QUOTE] This bit really got to me, thank you. Being reminded that I'm not alone anymore is the best feeling ever, I've got friends now, and a year and a half ago I didn't have any. I'll take my life from now on, and I'm sure as hell that I'm going to be as proud of myself as I am right now.

One last thing. Then if you're aiming for that degree, study hard. You'll have plenty of time to chill in the future. And when you get to your degree, that I take it's pretty demanding, apply yourself. I made the mistake of letting go of mine and focusing on uninteresting stuff and I fell behind a lot. And suddenly a degree that I loved turned into a cross I had to carry. I'm still 3 years to go and I've been in it for 5 years. Don't let it happen to you.

I was going to go into a long story, but for the sake of getting to the point, is there such a thing as too early or too late to ask someone out on a date? And how acceptable is it to do it over text if it may be several days until we see each other again (due to Thanksgiving break)? If anyone actually wants the full story, I can still post it.

A full story would be nice. But it's never too late nor too early. Don't be insecure.

Don't text her if you're going to ask her on a date Calling her would be an infinitely better option imo

[QUOTE=Behemoth_PT;49154907]A full story would be nice. But it's never too late nor too early. Don't be insecure.[/QUOTE] As I finished up the story, I figured that I'm just being a bit silly about things. A complete case of [b]"Bro just do it, She prob likes you."[/b] I'm just going to chill out a bit and just ask her next time I see her. Thanks guys!