Super Friendly Social and Love Advice v7 - Bro just do it, She prob likes you - General

Thanks for all the help I got. I may be an idiot but you guys taught me a bunch and I think I'm a better person for it. :snip:

There is no courage, only comfort in your surroundings. Blind ambition and an absence of fear follow suite. You need to be able to face your fears. You are putting way too much pressure on yourself. I've been in the same boat as you and can only warn you this: don't let your confidence depend on her acceptance of you. Building a good mood on whether or not she loves you will only bring you in a rollercoaster ride of stress and anxiety. Build a good mood on other things in life and bring that mood along with you. Fuck your roommate and anything that he told you. There's one thing I've learned in life and its that people are unique. Everyone's got little quirks and quarks, that's what makes us us. These sometimes don't mix. Boo fucking hoo. We all wind up burnt up or in a whole in the ground, so do you while you can. If all you can think about is whether or not you're making a good impression on her you're gonna lose sight of what's important. Friendships and relationships are built on being comfortable as yourself, and constantly checking yourself and your status to make sure you're being impressive is only going to crush your confidence in the long run. You're analysing time frames and meeting points and your reaction at all of these keeping them built up in your head. Stop. Write this stuff in a diary and get it out of your head. You don't need to do this. Be yourself, don't think, just do. I hate to quote the song but "I tried to be perfect, it just wasn't worth it". If she knows you've an interest in her and hasn't tried to tell you no, she's probably waiting on a response.

I'm just going to emphasize the social part of this thread, and say that having friends who are girls is pretty cool too. I met this one girl who already has a boyfriend at college a few days ago, added her on Facebook, and we've been talking a little bit on there. She's very open, and I feel like I can be myself around her. I can't wait until break is over so I can meet her again.

i will reiterate my last advice because it is actually good advice even though it came from /fit/ pretend she's a dude you want to fuck don't be like OH SHALL I COMPARE THEE TO A SUMMER'S DAY or thik about what a cute delicate flower she is. just be like "hey, what's up" and talk about anime or whatever.

My gf has been smoking for over 10 years and has been having a very bad smokers cough for as long as I have known her. She wants to quit, but she is still smoking about the same as usual. She's friends with my sister, and we're over at her place right now, and my sister keeps on fucking asking her if she wants to go for a cigarette. My sister smokes 12-14 cigarettes a day, while my gf will have 3-4, so it's fucking irritating. Why can't my sister go outside alone to poison herself like she usually does. I hate that she has to tempt my gf into smoking more than she already does. It's so fucking selfish to do that when someone is trying to cut down and quit.

[QUOTE=GeeOhDee;49168680]My gf has been smoking for over 10 years and has been having a very bad smokers cough for as long as I have known her. She wants to quit, but she is still smoking about the same as usual. She's friends with my sister, and we're over at her place right now, and my sister keeps on fucking asking her if she wants to go for a cigarette. My sister smokes 12-14 cigarettes a day, while my gf will have 3-4, so it's fucking irritating. Why can't my sister go outside alone to poison herself like she usually does. I hate that she has to tempt my gf into smoking more than she already does. It's so fucking selfish to do that when someone is trying to cut down and quit.[/QUOTE] If that was my sister, I'd tell her to fuck right off with that. Maybe not quite in those words, but basically. If she cares at all about you guys, she'll understand that she's impeding your GF's progress.

[QUOTE=Guy Mannly;49164572]I got into a conversation with another narcissist on OKC last night. I'm not sure how I manage to attract so many of them. Literally just talked about himself the entire time and talked about all his childhood trauma and whatnot and seemed to get annoyed whenever I said anything myself. (Also, I have a date at 6 with someone I found there, and this one's mentally stable and doesn't seem to have a personality disorder. Wish me luck!)[/QUOTE] Hit it off insanely well, sat and talked for 4 hours. And apparently we both lived up to our profile pictures for each other. I haven't crushed on someone this hard since high school. I feel young again!

This tends to happen to me a lot; whenever I'm in the process of setting up a dating profile again, I'm always obstructed when I need to upload a photo. I never liked having a photograph of myself up close or even at all. I've been conscious about my appearance since being a teenager. Over the years, I've gone from thinking I was straight up ugly to just feeling dejected about having one of those boring faces you keep seeing everywhere. I get stopped in public a lot by people who think I'm someone else. Fuck it though. Not letting myself getting squeamish over harsh self-criticism. Anything is better than nothing. [sp]I hope.[/sp] [editline] [/editline] [IMG]http://i.imgur.com/bwK7o1n.png[/IMG] wtf

Thanks for the advice guys. I really mean it. Especially you, Pigeon. :snip:

I tried to load up MGSV as a comforting tool to help me distract myself from my lady leaving For some reason seeing snakes broken face in the ACC broke me, made me think of her watching me play, planning cosplay and stuff I think I need to watch evangelion I want to feel the tears

[QUOTE=Dick Slamfist;49170633]I tried to load up MGSV as a comforting tool to help me distract myself from my lady leaving For some reason seeing snakes broken face in the ACC broke me, made me think of her watching me play, planning cosplay and stuff I think I need to watch evangelion I want to feel the tears[/QUOTE] Its pretty clear you're really torn up over this, watching evangelion will probably put you deeper into this negative state of mind. Think positive, do something you enjoy. Things are only as bad as you make them, it sucks that your girl left but life goes on and so should you. She might come back she might not, but whats the point getting so caught up on it. Nothing you can do about it until she figures herself out.

Everybody always says once you go away to college, your friends will change, and you will lose them. I'm in my last year of high school right now, I'm not one to have many friends, but I have a group of 4 or so really good friends, we have all been friends for quite a few years now. We talk to each other every day, whether it be on Kik or TeamSpeak or whatever, we play games together on Steam all the time. How truthful is that statement about losing your friends? I don't want to be without them.

[QUOTE=Wint3r;49174046]Everybody always says once you go away to college, your friends will change, and you will lose them. I'm in my last year of high school right now, I'm not one to have many friends, but I have a group of 4 or so really good friends, we have all been friends for quite a few years now. We talk to each other every day, whether it be on Kik or TeamSpeak or whatever, we play games together on Steam all the time. How truthful is that statement about losing your friends? I don't want to be without them.[/QUOTE] My best friend is someone I met in high school when I was 14 or 15. He's 22 and I'm 21 now. We both moved to different states after high school and haven't even seen each other in 2 years, but we still talk every day. The reason people say that is because long distance relationships/friendships are very different than in-person ones. For a lot of people there's just no point in keeping in touch when all of the fun you had together was in person. I think it's an easier adjustment for people who play video games together or otherwise spend a lot of time communicating digitally.

[QUOTE=Guy Mannly;49174440]The reason people say that is because long distance relationships/friendships are very different than in-person ones. For a lot of people there's just no point in keeping in touch when all of the fun you had together was in person. I think it's an easier adjustment for people who play video games together or otherwise spend a lot of time communicating digitally.[/QUOTE] I think this is true, I lost contact with almost all of my high school friends except one that I IMed with occasionally in college. Then when I moved back home from college, I lost contact with pretty much all my college friends. I'm in like the third generation of friend groups. But all the internet friends I had in high school, I still talk to almost every day.

Is showing up a girl's place to ask her out considered creepy? I know she's at least attracted to me, from reputable sources and from her outright saying she found my fatherhood attractive. I've been thinking of asking her out for a bit now but I don't have her number or have her on any social media. If it's any consolation she's the tenant of my childhood friend's parents, and they live in the same household as her. I figure that'd make a nice excuse to show up "randomly" but I've honestly been thinking that I might show up with the intention to talk to her, and to make that known. Yknow, displaying confidence and all that. Thoughts?

that would be real weird imo

Would it be, though? I'm not exactly seasoned when it comes to dating but I assumed approaching her with my intentions would display to her that I'm confident and know what I want, rather than coming up with an excuse to visit my friend's parents in the hopes of bumping into her. She's not dumb, and she'd be able to see that I orchestrated the visit in hopes of talking to her which IMO comes off as more desperate then just growing the nuts to say "Hey you're cool let's do something"

Idk I wouldn't be all that excited if someone just showed up at my house like that. And how can you be sure she'll even be home? Do you not see her ever? Because asking someone out at their house can be kind of awkward. I would find a public middle ground for that sort of thing.

Maybe I'm being a bit optimistic, then. I don't see her out in public, I only know her because she lives with my friend's parents, who I visit with my son occasionally. I'll just wait until I visit and ask her out then I guess.

all asking her out at her house says is "you don't know me very well and i know where you live"

Except it doesn't because as I said attraction has already been established? If anything it would be the best place for me to ask her out because it's a hell of a lot better than showing up at her workplace or anywhere else to ask her As I said I'll just wait until I'm there to visit my mate's parents and ask her if she happens to be there. If not, I'll wait until the next time. Edit: seems a bit snappy of me on reflection. Don't mean to discount your opinion so rudely, I just think it's a bit of a paranoid viewpoint. I mean yeah I know where she lives, but I do because I go there somewhat frequently. You're right that I don't exactly know her well but she wouldn't find it odd if I were there, simply because she lives with the woman who is essentially a second mother to me. Anyway yeah thanks for the input, I'll keep it in the back of my mind.

So in the past couple of weeks or so I started hanging out with a group of people from one of my classes to eat lunch, I've known them all from before but I never decided to stick around with them past classes due to having some excuse or whatever. They all are pretty nice but it got me thinking about things. I'd like to hang out more, possibly talk to some females more but due to my coursework I'm never in a position at college where I can, my major(computer engineering) is almost entirely male and the building where I do most of my courses in is located far away from any other building on campus. At first I was thinking about trying out Tinder to see if I could find people to hang out with, but I quickly realized that any form of meeting up with people is impossible because I don't have a car. I don't have a license, just a permit which I renewed some months ago. My mom refuses to let me practice with her car, she says I should just pay for one of those behind the wheel lessons, that way I'll spend less on insurance, which I could do but honestly at this point I just want to get a car asap, slightly higher bill be damned. I have the ability to support a car fully by myself but until I get a license I can't even bother looking for one. Anyways I just wanted to vent a bit in post form because it's been putting me down, knowing that I can't do hardly anything until I find a way to get around the city. Until then I'm too embarrassed to use Tinder, which seems to be my one slim chance of finding females to talk to on campus.

Why not public transport?

[QUOTE=Cosa8888;49178725]Why not public transport?[/QUOTE] The buses are how I get from school to back. Problem with them is that there's only one bus route near me when school isn't running and it goes a very long route that would take at least an hour to get from one spot to another, especially if I plan to go to a place like the mall. I could walk to the mall but in the winter that isn't feasible, it's a 30 minute walk and in Minnesota weather it feels like a 5 mile walk. In the summer I can(and should) do that. I just don't want to argue with my parents about my safety :V They always act(and straightup say) that I'm completely clueless about how the world works and they won't stop talking about how dangerous the world is because someone got raped or killed today. If I got a car I could go on at my leisure and wouldn't have to be stuck listening to them while I wait for a ride/public transport.

-snip-

[QUOTE=Loofiloo;49060339]I'd kinda like to get some perspective on something. I've gotta confess that my love life has always been pretty pitiful, throughout my whole life. I hadn't had sex, even kissed a girl until I was (I'd say) embarrassingly old. Then one night, just a few weeks ago actually, I barreled through all these firsts in one drunken night with a friend. Thing is, I've gathered from her that she just kinda wants to forget that the whole night happened, for whatever reason. Obviously I don't, since it was kind of a milestone for me. I never want to forget it. But I get the feeling it'd be a bad idea to ever TELL her I never had sex with anyone before her, even that she gave me my first kiss. Especially considering that she doesn't want to talk about it, and maybe never do it again. I feel like I want her to know this stuff sooner or later, but I don't know, would this be kind of a bummer to hear from someone? I'm sure it'd be great to tell her if we were in a serious relationship or something, but it was just a drunken hookup, and I don't think she wants anything more to spring out of it. Might just be a funny little by-the-way to tell her some months or years down the road, if we're still good friends by then.[/QUOTE] So i've got a sorta funny update on this. First I gotta give you a background story. A couple months ago she and I were trading sex stories, and I pretty much told her I didn't KNOW if I was still a virgin because I went home drunk with a girl in college and didn't even remember it. I heard this secondhand from my friends at the time. Well, they eventually confessed to me that that was all a lie, and they just told me that as a joke because of how wasted I was. Still, I thought it was a funny story. So i was hanging out with this girl last night and suddenly in conversation she remembers that story, and goes "I can't believe you don't [I]know[/i] if you're a virgin." I just turned to look at her and went "Welllll..." and just the funniest look of realization came over her face and she screamed "oh noooo! I can't be your first!" And made this whole exaggerated melodramatic deal over it. We couldn't stop laughing over it, the realization hit her so hard. So I guess the whole thing got aired naturally on its own v:v:v we hooked up again last night and she's asleep right next to me now.

Just fucking kill me. I've spent a lot of time with this girl with whom everything seemed to click and who seemed to enjoy being with me, and then I found out she already has a boyfriend yesterday. I've been so invested in her emotionally that just seeing them together hurts. Ever since my first girlfriend left me I've been mentally unstable, I long for a genuine, caring relationship like everybody around me seem to have achieved but while I witness everybody else's happiness, the only thing I get is disappointment. It just seems so fucking unfair.

so my girlfriend called me up to tell me to come over because she wanted to work things out and she was thinking this break wasn't helping and she wanted to try again great, right? yes okay midway through takling about getting backtogether she breaks down and tellls me she can't do it anymore. Break is now a permanent break. I asked her if she thinks this might be temporary at all and there's a chance of reconnection and she told me pretty straight up "no" but also that she doesn't want to lose her best friend and wants to still talk to me routinely and see me this is my first breakup what do you do cause I just wanna play x-com and cry

[QUOTE=Dick Slamfist;49188600]so my girlfriend called me up to tell me to come over because she wanted to work things out and she was thinking this break wasn't helping and she wanted to try again great, right? yes okay midway through takling about getting backtogether she breaks down and tellls me she can't do it anymore. Break is now a permanent break. I asked her if she thinks this might be temporary at all and there's a chance of reconnection and she told me pretty straight up "no" but also that she doesn't want to lose her best friend and wants to still talk to me routinely and see me this is my first breakup what do you do cause I just wanna play x-com and cry[/QUOTE] playing x-com and crying is a good plan nothing else you can do really