Super Friendly Social and Love Advice v7 - Bro just do it, She prob likes you
5,007 replies, posted
I went on a Cruise on Saturday, and i sometimes can be shy to dance and stuff without alcohol. So i decided fuck it, i don't want to overthink about everything anymore and hit the dance floor like a maniac, i ended up meeting this sweet girl, we danced and talked thru the night and we end up sleeping together (no sex). All i can say is, that was the best day/night i've ever had since the break up almost 4 months ago.
Nice advice
I have no idea how to initiate a FWB relationship. Then again, it's not that much of a thing around here, in my experience. One night flings, sure, but somehow making it regular seems rare.
careful or you might catch a dose of the feels. pretty fuckin cute though, not gonna lie
-snip not actually relevant-
[QUOTE=loopoo;49214997]careful or you might catch a dose of the feels. pretty fuckin cute though, not gonna lie[/QUOTE]
[QUOTE=Loofiloo;49214925]that little thing made me [B]feel[/B] so good, all day[/QUOTE]
[QUOTE=Loofiloo;49214925][B]feel[/B][/QUOTE]
aw SHIT
[QUOTE=loopoo;49214889]I personally don't really do one-night stands, but wouldn't it be super easy to initiate a FWB following a one-night stand? If you two had a good time, can you not exchange numbers then hit her up later and ask her if she'd like to be FWB or something? It's a total stranger so worst case scenario she says no, but that's not a big deal.[/QUOTE]
Well, I didn't quite speak of one night stands concerning my situation, though I did have one some weeks ago, and it has sadly not developed further.
I'm going to make this really to-the-point
Dated amazing girl for last 10 months, nothing goes wrong. Then she started acting super clingy and wouldn't give me alone time. She also starting getting really really depressed which affected her mood and appearance. I wanted more time to myself, made her upset. She got drunk and told me she hated me, and broke up with me. She was so drunk that she didn't remember doing it. I say I want a break, she tells me we are either 100% together or she's never talking to me again. I say it's over. Fast forward a week. We hang out and talk things over, I missed her, but only because of memories and how comfortable I feel. Now here is the real kicker: I sort of like someone else now. Yes, I know, rebound shit. The other girl is completely aware of the situation because we are honest. She doesn't want to do anything while I am still figuring things out. Fast forward again by a week. I tell my ex maybe we can work things out, but I'm still not happy and have weird feelings for this other girl. Other girl says she straight up likes me, but wants to give me time to figure my shit out. Now, my ex is coming over for dinner to talk. She keeps saying she loves me, and it's hard. So basically I am sorting out whether I want to be back with my ex and ignore this new girl and all the shit that went down, or I choose to be single again, have fun, and maybe eventually date the other girl.
This is actually really hard for me and has been causing a lot of stress. I hate to make people sad, which is my weakness, especially to my ex who has done nothing wrong besides wanting to spend every second with me. I hate breaking her heart over and over. It's killing me.
I'm getting really worried depression is going to take hold of me again
I don't know what I want from the world, I worry that I've become addicted to affection and I don't know how to deal without it
I can't tell what I need from the world. I look at girls and seeing them honestly makes me weirdly depressed
I hate the weather
So basically I'm attracting clingy people again.
The first one added me on facebook out of the blue because we had some friends in common. She's nice, we've been talking everyday and we started flirting over facebook.
Now, I'm pretty open minded about flirting and all that - whatever happens happens.
Anyway, however since I told her I was going to spend the new year at her city, her flirting started to get a little bit more "spicy" and I've been corresponding and adding more fuel to the fire.
However, from what I took out of the conversations we had, I was left under the impression that she wasn't the type of girl for casual or one night things. So since she's been so nice and caring to me, since we actually got to share some intimate issues of ours and she genuinely cared, I felt that I needed to point out the elephant in the room.
I told her about the flirting and all that and that I was obviously interested and curious about meeting her and was pretty open minded about flirting and whatever happens happens, but I didn't want nor was I ready for a serious long distance relationship.
She told me it was ok and that she wouldn't be flirting with me if she didn't feel the same, but however she was a serious relationship kind of girl. Told me not to feel awkward at all about telling her that and it was ok.
However, she didn't talk to me today. I initiated conversation but not much came on her end. "I'm tired" she told me, and the conversation kinda died off.
On the other hand however, I went to see Ghost last Saturday and I bought my ticket from a girl who contacted me because they were all sold out and I posted in the event about looking to buy.
I started a conversation with her, she was very nice.
So we just talked for about 5 minutes when I met her for the ticket, she asked me if I had a ride or place to stay after the show, I told her that I didn't and was probably staying with friends and stay awake all night or try and get a ride back home, otherwise I'd stay awake till 6 AM.
She invited me right away to crash at her place. Told me she was living alone in a big house and had bed in her library.
I respectfully refused because I just met her and I didn't know her intentions.
However, yesterday we spend the day chatting on facebook. She's pretty nice and we have a lot of things in common and after a while she asks me "what kind of cakes do I like".
I ask her, I don't know, why? and she's like "Because I want to bake you a cake", to which I replied "surprise me then".
We talked a bit more about cooking and baking (because I also know a think or two) and then a conversation about placed we'd like to visit, turns into a mild suggestion that I would like to visit a museum in her city.
Today she leaves me a message saying that she'd phoned the museum and posted me all the galleries's expositions and prices and all that.
The problem is, I really enjoy talking to this girl, but I think she's trying too hard with me.
I talked to another friend of mine about this, she tells me that it's a great chance for me to get crazy sex, but I don't know. I don't really feel much about this girl, and all her planning ahead is really making some alarms ring in my head.
I don't know. She invites me to sleep at her place, I don't know her, don't know her intentions. Then she wants to bake me a cake, cook for me, and now she wants to visit museums with me.
I'm still pretty upset with the separation with my ex, so I'm not ready for a serious relationship, and her clingyness is kinda sending some signals that she might be lonely and desperate. And save for casual relationships, FWB and all that, I'm currently not ready for another serious thing, unless it's with someone that completely rocks my world.
How does one acquire self discipline?
[QUOTE=Cosa8888;49213992]So do you guys remember that very important test? Well, it starts in a few hours and I slept like 5 hours. I'm pretty nervous and scared that I may get really sleepy, but nothing mayor. Wish me luck guys![/QUOTE]
As someone who did the exact test 2 years ago, Just treat it like a normal test from high school, because it's just that, there's nothing you haven't seen in the last 4 years. If you're aiming for Universidad de Chile (best university on the country), and if you have been doing lot's of practice ones, I'm pretty sure that you will get into that uni. Dale weon, que tu puedes
[QUOTE=oskramorir;49218605]As someone who did the exact test 2 years ago, Just treat it like a normal test from high school, because it's just that, there's nothing you haven't seen in the last 4 years. If you're aiming for Universidad de Chile (best university on the country), and if you have been doing lot's of practice ones, I'm pretty sure that you will get into that uni. Dale weon, que tu puedes[/QUOTE]
Thank youuu. I'm done with two of the three tests, today it's that maths test. This is the most important one (it's about 40-45% of the final score for me) and I've studied A LOT for this one. I'm so confident on my own abilities that I'm aiming for a perfect score. I know I can do this, and the best part is that I did sleep last night :v:
[url]http://similarminds.com/jung/intp.html[/url]
Personality tests never seem to shed anything positive about myself.
[QUOTE=ilmon3y;49220477][url]http://similarminds.com/jung/intp.html[/url]
Personality tests never seem to shed anything positive about myself.[/QUOTE]
ENTJ here dating an INTP - no complaints thus far!
[QUOTE=ilmon3y;49220477][url]http://similarminds.com/jung/intp.html[/url]
Personality tests never seem to shed anything positive about myself.[/QUOTE]
As an INTJ I can relate to that almost entirely and it's kind of depressing :v:
I was hanging out in the hall with people and someone was making a joke about me becoming a chippendale and this girl I have a huge hard on for walked by and my friend Heather stopped her and asked if she'd throw money for me and my friends if we were strippers/escorts and she was like "yeah" and I asked oh really as she walked away and she turned her head back smiling and said yes.
So uh... Do I ask for her number now?
[QUOTE=ilmon3y;49220477][url]http://similarminds.com/jung/intp.html[/url]
Personality tests never seem to shed anything positive about myself.[/QUOTE]
wow i thought those tests were a little bs but this added on to it seems really accurate
[QUOTE=ilmon3y;49220477][url]http://similarminds.com/jung/intp.html[/url]
Personality tests never seem to shed anything positive about myself.[/QUOTE]
Take it with a grain of salt. I've taken a handful of different variations on Jung and Meyers-Briggs type personality tests (thanks to taking a personality psych class) and have gotten a different result almost every time. I just took the Jung test on that site and got a [i]completely[/i] different result than I ever have before. Bias in wording has a big impact on variations in results.
That website is also super biased in their descriptions of different personality types. The point of a personality test isn't to judge whether certain types are "good" or "bad", but that site has some very opinionated descriptions of the different personality types. If you were to look at a description of INTPs elsewhere, you would see high praise of them making ideal scientists or philosophers.
They're pretty accurate broad descriptions, but significant portions of all the NT things apply to me - right now I got INTJ but in the summer I got ENTP (which is the one I get most consistently). Normally it seems those letters don't change much (from the experience of people I know who have done it) but the outer two might.
Hmmmm so somebody i talked to a while back added me on facebook recently, i accepted because i forgot who they were until after we started talking again. Unfortunately this person was a big issue with my current relationship.
(Long story short, i got depressed and lonely when i was jobless, my partner was really busy with his job and didn't have much time to talk to me so i turned to the internet to talk to someone, found someone that was local off chance, never met up with them but was talking to them about random stuff and they made me happy, partner found out, thought i was cheating and got really angry but i wasn't, it all blew over after i stopped talking to said person)
So yeah, now its a year and a half later, said person added me on facebook and we were talking before i fully realised who it was, he said he felt really bad about what happened and that he shouldn't have pushed me hard since he knew i had a partner. He apologised for it and said he really just wanted to make amends since he actually thought i was a cool guy. Me being optimistic and positive. I honestly believe he just wants to be friends and make amends so i've added him on facebook. But i know that my partner will probably go skits if he found out. So i've just left it for now.
I know i should tell him about it but i don't see the point in making him worry and get upset for no reason because he is a MASSIVE worrier and overthinks things so easily. Why would i want to cause him discomfort and to worry when there is no need to worry?
I have no desire to push this relationship on with said person, i literally only see him as a friend (tbf, more of an acquaintance)
Why would you talking to someone as a friend make your partner so damn angry?
That's just ridiculous. If your current partner has a problem with it HE is the problem, not your friendship.
Tips for getting the words out when asking a girl for a relationship?
I keep hesitating aha
[QUOTE=NeonpieDFTBA;49224359]They're pretty accurate broad descriptions, but significant portions of all the NT things apply to me - right now I got INTJ but in the summer I got ENTP (which is the one I get most consistently). Normally it seems those letters don't change much (from the experience of people I know who have done it) but the outer two might.[/QUOTE]
The most consistent trait I've gotten when taking these tests is introversion. Traits will vary more for some people than others. Maybe those "letters don't change much" for you because you score highly in those particular traits - it doesn't mean that's true for everyone else.
[editline]2nd December 2015[/editline]
[QUOTE=bs8814;49227536]Tips for getting the words out when asking a girl for a relationship?
I keep hesitating aha[/QUOTE]
Don't overthink it, if she wants to be in a relationship with you she won't care how you word it.
There's this girl who's in another school now so I don't see her often in person, but we've been chatting quite a bit via text and when we were hanging out with friends. I'd like to ask her out but doing it via text seems lame and we may see each other this weekend, going out with common friends. Is it a good idea to do it then? Is asking someone out while hanging out with other friends OK or could that make her uncomfortable?
wouldnt a moment alone appear at some point? if not, just drag her to the side and ask her. dont have to do it infront of others at all. none of their business
[QUOTE=Zar;49228839]wouldnt a moment alone appear at some point? if not, just drag her to the side and ask her. dont have to do it infront of others at all. none of their business[/QUOTE]
Yeah of course I'm not planning to do it in front of everyone, just want to seize the opportunity to talk to her in person. I'm more worried about uneasiness in case she wants to reject me and we have to continue hanging out for some time.
do you guys consider availability to be rather unattractive? I tend to shove things to the side to be with people, I just want to be social. the closest I'll get to saying no to hanging out is when I need to work out, but other than that I'm always available no matter how exhausted I am.
[QUOTE=PredGD;49231163]do you guys consider availability to be rather unattractive? I tend to shove things to the side to be with people, I just want to be social. the closest I'll get to saying no to hanging out is when I need to work out, but other than that I'm always available no matter how exhausted I am.[/QUOTE]
I wouldn't consider it unattractive nor something to worry about. Sometimes you need to do what's best for your own interests, say for example you haven't gotten much sleep in a couple days and need to get some sleep then saying no is very reasonable. Unless the people are complete dicks I couldn't see them not understanding.
The only way it's going to be seem bad is if you're saying no to it every time for a reason of you just want to play video games. As that would come across as avoiding them.
Sorry, you need to Log In to post a reply to this thread.
