Super Friendly Social and Love Advice v7 - Bro just do it, She prob likes you - General

[QUOTE=PredGD;49200908]feel like I've developed some feelings I never should have developed. I've been trying to convince myself that I don't really have any romantic interest in a friend for a while now, but I notice that I appreciate being with her more and more, wish I could be with her more often and so on. this is just bad since she talks to me about her own love interest, so I feel like I got a clear signal to not even bother. even I sort of don't want anything more since I feel like I need a stable foundation on my own before I start including others in my life, but its hard to control these emotions. I might just be seeing signs where there are none, but often when we sit in a couch and so on, she's always in physical contact. I want to think it's nothing, but my heart wants to see it as a sign of interest from her side. this is not a cool situation at all. if I discover that she's actually interested, I don't think I'd hesitate but I really doubt this is gonna evolve into anything. I think it'd just be best if I could turn my feelings off and continue a friendship with her, but that's no easy task. I know its gonna cause me pain if I stick with her, but I don't want to abandon her either as I genuinely enjoy her company. maybe I could see how it evolves? I don't know. feels like it'd just be better to end the game while its all good rather than getting emotionally invested to the point where even more pain will be caused. [editline]28th November 2015[/editline] I don't know what to do about this.[/QUOTE] gonna have to update on this as well. at the time of posting this, I just felt a slight attraction to her, that there was something special about her, but now? right now, I'm feeling that intense feeling of love. I really want to meet her, right now, and that is bad, very bad. I feel like everything about this is bad. I don't want to risk a friendship for this, but if I don't I'll be in pain anyway. I also don't know how I'll tackle a relationship at all either, if she's even interested. do I even have a chance with her? she talks to me about all of these guys who have fallen for her in the past and how awkward that is for her, what are the odds that I'm the one she actually wants? if I open up, I might as well become one of those. I also feel like I've picked up on signs that tells me she's not interested at all too. on Saturday I had to go home a little earlier to take care of my sister, so I offered her to join me when I left since it was rather early but she turned it down. she was pretty exhausted that day though, but if I were her and I liked the other person, I wouldn't hesitate. then again, we're all different. I don't really respect myself when it comes to me being exhausted, I'll do it anyway. at the same time as I've picked up signs that she's not interested, I've also picked up signs that she is interested. out of nowhere she suddenly started wanting to meet me nearly every single day for two weeks in a row, how come I'm the one she wants to spend time with? even with days were we've literally just sat around, barely talked and so on, she still asks the next day. on Saturday as well when I was still asleep, she called me though didn't answer since I was still half asleep. I woke up to this and she sent me a message on Facebook, "heyheyhyeheyeh", which I simply responded "?????" to. she says "Haven't gotten out of bed" and sends me what I consider a cute picture of herself in bed where she's looking pretty goofy. she then asked me what I was up to today, I replied to her picture with one of myself still in bed as well, and I said nothing and she wanted to meet up. I found that pretty cute, and somewhat flirty? I don't know. I might just be picking up on things since I want to pick up on these things. since Sunday she has been very, very depressed. she hasn't been out of the door at all and struggles a lot. haven't had any feel good conversations with her since Saturday, but we did speak and meet up on Sunday as well. I don't know what happened on Sunday, but she met her love interest and somehow become really depressed after this. she hasn't opened up to me, but she did mention his name once. all I suspect is that he told her he wasn't interested or something along these lines. this too is a big reason why I don't think I should bother either. she still shows interest in talking with me, today she asked me whats up out of the blue and I said I was out in town with some friends we had in common. I asked her what was up, and she said nothing. asked if she wanted to join, but she was too exhausted. I don't know if I should keep riding this wave. should I end it now and take the pain, or should I keep building and hope it actually becomes something? if I keep building I could potentially make that pain I can take now even worse in the future, it's not an easy choice. I don't want to give up on her just yet though. [editline]3rd December 2015[/editline] sometimes I hate love, I wish I could turn it off until I was ready for it

So I learned the other day in one of my introspective moments that I really want a girlfriend. It seems like all my uni friends have started relationships and I'm left in the dust. The problem is it seems like they've just easily gone from single to dating in one swoop and I'm left here wanting to find someone who I actually enjoy being with. For the first few months I would chat up random girls who I was attracted to, and 50% of the time the conversation would awkwardly end and the other 50% of the time I would really hit it off, with the conversation ending in "yeah, I'm just meeting my boyfriend." So you can imagine I'm a bit downtrodden at this point, and I've pretty much stopped the whole stupid "talk to random girls all the time" thing. Now I've realized that I'd much rather wait and find someone who a) is actually easy to talk to and b) enjoys talking to me. Problem is I also feel like by waiting I'm just letting opportunities pass me by. Basically I've got no clue where to go from here. I want an awesome girl who I can do all my fun hobbies with, but I'm fairly confident that it'll be senior year and too late by the time I find one. TL:DR do you find the one, or does she find you?

[QUOTE=Guy Mannly;49227967]Don't overthink it, if she wants to be in a relationship with you she won't care how you word it.[/QUOTE] Well I got the words out today... and we are now together :)

[QUOTE=PredGD;49233083]sometimes I hate love, I wish I could turn it off until I was ready for it[/QUOTE] This does sound like a pretty tricky situation but you may be jumping the gun based on your emotions - if you're suddenly only just now feeling like you love her, maybe that's not really a reliable basis to try and start a relationship on? I wouldn't push it too hard, but I'd try to get her to open up a bit. Not in a way that sounds like you're prying, but in a way that reminds her you're there if she needs you. I mean, something's clearly wrong, and maybe she just needs some space, but I know that in my own case when I'm depressed that even though I kind of inadvertently push people away, at the same time I really want someone to try just a tiny bit harder because it's too difficult to open up otherwise. Just make sure she knows you care. Honestly, it might be a good idea to just bring this up with her directly, though probably not now if she's got other problems. I'm not saying confess your feelings to her, but give it some time, see how you feel, and once things look better for her perhaps just tell her you notice a lot of mixed signals and just want to know what's up with that. You're not necessarily asking her out, but you want to stop getting confused. I mean, I probably wouldn't recommend telling her ALL the specific reasons you think shes not interested, and maybe you don't even have to phrase it in a romantic context. The way I see it though is that if she's as good of friends with you as she sounds like she is, a little heart to heart and telling her you're just confused isn't going to destroy your friendship. Though, you'd know better than me. I dunno, that's what I would do in this situation, and actually have in the past and I mean I was really good friends with the girl and we just kind of had a heart to heart and cleared the air. It puts an end to the frustration and is either going to let you be friends with her and forget about it, or possibly even start a relationship of some sort. It's just tricky how exactly you go about it :v:

[QUOTE=ilmon3y;49220477][url]http://similarminds.com/jung/intp.html[/url] Personality tests never seem to shed anything positive about myself.[/QUOTE] I guess I'm a little late to this talk but I just took a couple of these tests on two different sites and I got INFP for both. I think it explains a lot about me, really. Like, I've always had a pretty small but intimate group of friends. Some of the people I'm friends with have a fucking ton (like 1,000+ on facebook) but I've always kept it pretty small-scale. Thing is, I really LOVE those very few friends I keep. And I'm always really self-conscious about that. I think other people are usually put off by this, and so I'm constantly trying not to look TOO attached to anyone. It's really hard, because I never get to fully tell or show anyone how important they are to me, because I know it'd come across clingy and weird to others. They keep dozens of friends, and they'll be friends with some people for years without ever really getting close to them, but I'm a person who craves intimacy in every relationship that I give half a damn about.

[QUOTE=_Axel;49228750]There's this girl who's in another school now so I don't see her often in person, but we've been chatting quite a bit via text and when we were hanging out with friends. I'd like to ask her out but doing it via text seems lame and we may see each other this weekend, going out with common friends. Is it a good idea to do it then? Is asking someone out while hanging out with other friends OK or could that make her uncomfortable?[/QUOTE] Turns out she can't come this weekend... She told me she might be available next week though.

oh cool so when I'm gonna visit Latvia for xmas holidays the girl from there that pretty much said she would date me if it wasn't for me going back to UK is waiting for my arrival! That is so nice to hear, like a relief of sorts even. Gets me hyped up for the holidays now even more since we both enjoyed the two days we spent together in summer. But it's two weeks away ;_; If this will set off it will be weird after I get back to UK because, well, distance

[QUOTE=_Axel;49238864]Turns out she can't come this weekend... She told me she might be available next week though.[/QUOTE] If you're unsure about asking her out with her friends there then do it by text, it won't be weird. Just send a casual message like ey yo you wanna go grab a coffee some time? ;) Don't think too hard about it and don't freak out over doing it in a text.

"ey bb u wan som fuk" but instead of "fuk" say coffee and instead of the rest of it say "hey would you like to go get coffee with me on *insert date*?"

[QUOTE=RainbowStalin;49239246]If you're unsure about asking her out with her friends there then do it by text, it won't be weird. Just send a casual message like ey yo you wanna go grab a coffee some time? ;) Don't think too hard about it and don't freak out over doing it in a text.[/QUOTE] Would she interpret it as a date? That sounds ambiguous to me. [editline]4th December 2015[/editline] To be fair we talked about when she would be available other than the weekend but didn't mention our friends, so I could easily transition to that.

My recent-ish ex from whenever the last time I posted here has been trying to talk to me again, but just like before it seems she only texts me at her convenience. Like when she randomly hit me up out of the blue, we had a kind of nice conversation about how things have been and such, and since then I've gotten a total of like 3 texts. I don't love her anymore and at this point I'm about to 100% cut her ass off -- blocking her number and the whole shabang. Like I miss the good times, but I'm completely done giving and not getting anything back.

[QUOTE=dnqboy;49240545]My recent-ish ex from whenever the last time I posted here has been trying to talk to me again, but just like before it seems she only texts me at her convenience. Like when she randomly hit me up out of the blue, we had a kind of nice conversation about how things have been and such, and since then I've gotten a total of like 3 texts. I don't love her anymore and at this point I'm about to 100% cut her ass off -- blocking her number and the whole shabang. Like I miss the good times, but I'm completely done giving and not getting anything back.[/QUOTE] Sounds like she only talks to you when shes bored

So I pretty much got a date this weekend. Since me and my ex broke up I've been talking to two girls. One of them lives pretty far from me and judging by the flirting and all that I got under the impression she wanted something more than a casual relationship. I talked to her about it telling her that I was pretty much open minded about flirting and casual stuff but I wasn't ready for a serious relationship at this point and I didn't want to hurt her or hurt her expectations once I meet her in person (gonna spend the new year in her city). She confirmed saying she felt attracted to me but she was looking for something serious. So not much on that end. However, last Saturday Ghost played here in Lisbon and the tickets sold out like a week earlier. I posted on the event page on facebook saying that I was looking for some one willing to sell me a ticket and this girl responded to me saying her guinea pig got some surgery and she needed to look out for him so she couldn't go. We chatted for a bit on facebook, really liked how the conversation developed, then we talked in person when I went to buy her the ticket, she was kinda cute actually but I've been pussying out of any kind of involvement since the breakup with my ex. Anyway. Saturday I post on facebook asking if someone had a place for me to crash in Lisbon since I didn't know if I would be able to catch a transport back to my city, and the girl messages me saying "Hey, I'm living alone in a pretty big house, got a spare room with a bed here. If you wanna crash here it's ok". I respectfully declined because I just met her and all, and I actually got to catch the last bus home that night. Somehow it sounded too clingy of her. And it made me kind of pussy out. We talk the next day about the show and a little more about personal stuff and whatnot, and she asks me what kind of cakes do I like. I ask her "I don't have a type of cake I like per se, why?" and she's like "because I was thinking about baking you a cake". That was cute but I'm not used to stuff like this so early after meeting someone. I said "then I'll have to make you some chocolate mousse" and we started talking about baking and cooking till late hours. Well, I don't know exactly what she's aiming at, but I shared with her the intention of visiting a museum in her city and the next morning she sends me the museum prices and schedules - "hey, I phoned the museum". I don't know, I think she's lonely and she's trying too hard. I told her I couldn't make it this weekend for the museum because I have to study. She told me "it's ok, I also have stuff to do, maybe I'll go to the cinema". Well, to sum it up, I started thinking. She's being really nice to me, so just now I asked her if she was still going to the movies. She said yes, and I ask her if she had any company. She said no. "Would you like some company?" and she said "Of course :D". and now we're chatting non stop. I don't know. I've been pussying out of stuff like this for years and now it actually feels good to go out with someone who's actually interested in me for once.

[QUOTE=Loofiloo;49236753]I guess I'm a little late to this talk but I just took a couple of these tests on two different sites and I got INFP for both. I think it explains a lot about me, really. Like, I've always had a pretty small but intimate group of friends. Some of the people I'm friends with have a fucking ton (like 1,000+ on facebook) but I've always kept it pretty small-scale. Thing is, I really LOVE those very few friends I keep. And I'm always really self-conscious about that. I think other people are usually put off by this, and so I'm constantly trying not to look TOO attached to anyone. It's really hard, because I never get to fully tell or show anyone how important they are to me, because I know it'd come across clingy and weird to others. They keep dozens of friends, and they'll be friends with some people for years without ever really getting close to them, but I'm a person who craves intimacy in every relationship that I give half a damn about.[/QUOTE] I'd say 99% of the people I'm "friends" with on Facebook are acquaintances at best. Some of them I haven't talked to in years. The only people I actually consider friends are about two people on that list out of hundreds. They're ones who I can pretty much open up to about anything and ones who I can talk about my gaming/tech-side without them zoning out or responding with "oh so you can fix my computer when it breaks?" They're few and far between but damn if they don't make life better

I have this weird fetish of retarded girls. Not like s[I]uper retarded[/I], but more like slight retardedness. I don't know why. Probably some type of an animalistic dominative sex instinct.

From yesterday it has been one year I'm with this girl. But I'm more closer with her family because her father has a local company that sells phones and electronic devices to companies and I'm doing business with him (IT solutions) in black (it means that I work for him, I earn some percents but I'm not legally declared to the governement). I love his girl, but how do I keep the business I'm doing with her father if something goes wrong and we broke up? I really need this business, it's the only thing I'm good at and I'm currently a student (I'm learning stuff like computing, developpment, electronics, etc...) and I'm not that rich... But I'm afraid that if we broke up I could loose all my work and I need some insurance to keep this business working, even if we broke up. (Sorry for my bad english, I'm french belgian).

I wonder what it's like to have some one take interest in you. Sure I'm pretty happy with my gf, but it feels like I had to work for her to start to like me and end up where we are now. I wish I knew how it feel to have some one to do the same: see you, take interest in you, actively trying to talk to you and flirt. I don't know. I'm jealous and sad reading stories of many of you flirting back and forth with girls, and them taking interest in you and initiating and junk. [editline]4th December 2015[/editline] I guess that only happens if you actually physically look good?

So I've been talking to this girl for about 1-2 months now and I dated her for a couple weeks (3, this saturday). But as of yesterday, she just started acting super weird. Saying stuff like "You're up my ass all the time." "You don't let me have friends." But everyone knows this is ridiculous because I'm not the type to care at all if she goes to hangout with people without me. Anyway, she finally came to the point where she said "I don't think we're gonna last tbh" and then it lead to her not answering me all day, then finally answering 8 hours later and saying she wanted a break. I've given up any hope on keeping her, but my mind is just boggled. What the fuck? I spoiled this girl, took her to places, got her things, she was always saying she was genuinely happy, then poof, in the matter of 24 hours those feeling completely changed over nothing.

[QUOTE=Exigent;49245830]So I've been talking to this girl for about 1-2 months now and I dated her for a couple weeks (3, this saturday). But as of yesterday, she just started acting super weird. Saying stuff like "You're up my ass all the time." "You don't let me have friends." But everyone knows this is ridiculous because I'm not the type to care at all if she goes to hangout with people without me. Anyway, she finally came to the point where she said "I don't think we're gonna last tbh" and then it lead to her not answering me all day, then finally answering 8 hours later and saying she wanted a break. I've given up any hope on keeping her, but my mind is just boggled. What the fuck? I spoiled this girl, took her to places, got her things, she was always saying she was genuinely happy, then poof, in the matter of 24 hours those feeling completely changed over nothing.[/QUOTE] This shit happens, people are bad at just saying they have lost interest and need some reason to justify leaving. It's not really her fault; just handling it badly

[QUOTE=Glitchman;49245893]This shit happens, people are bad at just saying they have lost interest and need some reason to justify leaving. It's not really her fault; just handling it badly[/QUOTE] I just find it strange how it happened so quickly.

Found out she was talking to someone else before we split. Depressing a bit, I wish she would've said something before hand. Not going to let this bother me though, I can find someone else.

I really hate people who see that you are hanging out with someone who just so happens to be a girl a lot, then they never fucking stop going on about how you should go out with them, and saying anything to them just makes them go "oh, clearly you like them"

-snip who gives a shit-

-sni thank you-

last night something pretty uncomfortable happened. I was with the girl I've posted about a few times and some other friends last night out in town just hanging around until the others but me and the girl I've posted about (I'll just refer to her as A) decided to leave. we sat around for some time, tried to see if we could find something to do since the night was still young. there were a few parties, but none of us felt too comfortable as we didn't know most of the people at these places, so we figured we'd ask another friend of ours (who I'll refer to as B) who just left us if we could just chill at her place and bring some alcohol. she was okay with that, so we went to the store and bought 3 4-packs of some beers for me and A and 3 relatively large bottles of beer for B as this was what she wanted. we walked up to her and was surprised to see another person who we were just with to also be there, but it wasn't that big of a deal. we went on, had an okay night for about 4 hours until A asked if I wanted to go to McDonalds with her (it was 00:00 by now), I figured why not. since she had been feeling down all week a friend of her wanted to meet so they could talk some so they decided to meet there. we hung around, ate some McDonalds then I was driven to the train station when he showed up. I was starting to feel a little depressed at that moment since I had some difficulties with letting my feelings go, opening up, being afraid to speak, and so on. I felt socially impaired basically. anyway, I figured my night would end at this point. as soon as I got home, I sent her a message "Don't read this until tomorrow, it'll be better that way" since I was about to unload some depressive thoughts to her and I didn't want her to read it until the day after so I didn't put any burden on her for the rest of the night. she responded with "what", and as I was typing I figured I didn't want to share my feelings after all so I sent her a message that I was just feeling somewhat down but didn't want to open up right now, so we could probably take it another day. she responded with another "what" which sort of upset me, but I figured I'd just ignore it. a few minutes pass by, maybe 10 or so, then she sends me the message "me too" implying that she was feeling rather down as well. I asked whats up, if anything had happened, and she told me she had a depressive breakdown again. I asked if there was a specific reason for it, and that I understood if there was none since depression just says fuck you like that at times. 8 minutes go with no answer so I send another one away, telling her that I was there for her if she wanted to talk. suddenly she tells me she's sleeping outdoors tonight which naturally makes me rather confused. I asked if she was still with the guy she met, and no. asked if she had asked B to sleep at her place, and B wasn't responding. asked if she knew of any alternatives or if she just wanted some company tonight since I didn't want her to freeze out all alone. she answered no, presumably to both questions. I don't like pushing her, so I told her that I didn't want to push, but if she wanted to she could sleep at my place, that we could pick her up and that I wouldn't feel well at all if she slept out all night. this was around 2am. she just answers "yeah" so I figure this is a situation where she won't let me help her as she's being short, so I just tell her that I'll go to bed soon but that she shouldn't feel uncomfortable calling me if she decided to change her mind and told her yet again that I was there for her. yet again, she answers with a short reply, "mm". she followed up with that saying "I can't be bothered to write you that much since I'm freezing". this sort of triggered something in my head and made me feel really uncomfortable. decided to just send her "please" followed with "I seriously don't want you to sleep outdoors all night" which she, yet again, answered with a "mm". I didn't exactly beg as it was a single message, but I sort of begged to her to let me help her since this entire situation was making me feel incredibly upset. I'm not usually the one to pry or make people change their mind, but this situation was not cool at all. she went on about not having money, didn't want people to ask why she had no place to be and so on, so I told her she could just come to me, that no one would ask and so on. that it was no stress for us for her to stay one night. this made her change her mind so we decided to meet at the train station near my place after a friend had driven her there. he wanted payment for driving, so I paid up for her. we got to my place, spoke some, introduced her to my cats, ate food and sat awake for about 2 hours before we hit the bed at 5am. since we had no vacant rooms, I gave her the option of sharing bed (single king sized) with her own blanket or hitting the couch. she went with the couch since she told me she felt she slept better alone (if she just didn't want to sleep with me or not, I don't know, but either way, I respect and understand both scenarios), so we parted and said good night. the couch was right outside my door so I left the door open. about 2-3 hours passed and I was awoken by her lying down next to me. I didn't exactly sleep very well, I constantly woke up during the night but I was feeling pretty cozy and comfortable since I was sleeping with someone next to me, feels safe. we woke up around 5pm and told me she was hungry, so we got out of bed and got her some food. I didn't expect her to stay all day, but she did! she left about 1 hour ago and it's 00:47 now. we stayed upstairs all night, spoke a lot with my mother, ate dinner, included my sister, drank a few beers today as well, and generally had a pretty good time. when she left, she said it had been a pretty good night and that it was definitely not the last time she was coming over. nice! I feel like I've gotten to know her a lot better after today which is always welcome. [editline]6th December 2015[/editline] but yeah, she sent me a message about her love interest again, saying he asked her if she wanted to eat dinner with him tomorrow. I had a feeling it was somewhat over since she was not sure if she was interested anymore due to something he said, but apparently not. bummer. oh well, was an okay day anyway

[QUOTE=ilmon3y;49220477][url]http://similarminds.com/jung/intp.html[/url] Personality tests never seem to shed anything positive about myself.[/QUOTE] [quote]favored careers: assassin[/quote] wat As an ISTP, I can relate to most of that and I feel you.

[QUOTE=PredGD;49254683]snip[/QUOTE] not super relevant but do people really have friends like that that ask for actual payment for driving someone somewhere? I don't know what kind of distance it was but I've driven friends pretty far before and never ask for money in return

[QUOTE=VIOLATION_SNG;49255981]not super relevant but do people really have friends like that that ask for actual payment for driving someone somewhere? I don't know what kind of distance it was but I've driven friends pretty far before and never ask for money in return[/QUOTE] it's pretty common where I live. pretty much anyone who drives a car around here wants something in return for it which I find a little dumb personally, especially when it's usually friends. there's a few ones that do it out of good will, but they're not many

[QUOTE=RenegadeCop;49256737]If it's a constant thing, I'd start to drop some hints about payment, but I'd never ask directly. I'd be like "I'd drive you today, but my gas budget is tight right now" to which a good friend would reply "no problem bro, here's $5" Then I say "hey man don't worry about it" because it's the thought that counts.[/QUOTE] i always just say "buy me lunch or dinner or something we'll call it even"

I had a little... I don't know, not a [i]dispute[/i] really, with a friend. More like something I'm not sure how to reconcile. Basically, a lot of the times that I'm hanging out with her, she will constantly be running into people she knows, and kind of roping me into spending time with her friends that I don't know. It's like she knows every single person in the city, and she always welcomes these new people to join us wherever we are. It kinda drives me crazy because, when I suddenly find myself dropped in the middle of a bunch of new people (especially if these people are all great friends who already know each other) I get really uncomfortable and nervous, so I kinda stop talking, and just slowly feel more and more left out. Especially since they just talk about [i]their own[/i] business, not really a conversation I'm able to enter. The big conflict of the situation comes in when she turns to me and asks "Are you having fun?" and "Are you sure you're ok with hanging out with everyone?" because it's kind of an impossible question. Because it's like, I either lie, then sit there and quietly suffer, or I tell her "No, I demand that you not spend time with your best friend right now" and feel like a giant asshole. An example is that, tonight, we were out getting food, just the two of us, at a table for just two. Three of her friends happen to come in, so she gets really excited and starts immediately getting up and moving her food and stuff to a bigger table. Only when we're at the new table does she turn to me and go "Is this ok with you?" So this is really obviously what SHE wants to do, and for me to say no is to knowingly deny her what makes her happy. I talked with her about this but I'm not really convinced we reached the right middle ground. She ASSURED me that it's totally fine for me to say no to a situation like that, telling me "Your comfort is more important than my having fun" and "I can hang out with them anytime." But this really didn't help to assure me at all. And really, what if I did say no in that above scenario? Is she just going to pick up her food and move BACK to our 2-person table? Is she going to be like "We're gonna leave now because Loofiloo's not having fun?" And supposing she somehow did it smoothly and un-awkwardly, why should I think that it would be totally ok with her? She'd obviously be let down, and it seems like there can be no way she'd go back to having as much fun as we were having before other people showed up. I really don't know what I can do in this situation, except just start loving to meet strangers