Super Friendly Social and Love Advice v7 - Bro just do it, She prob likes you - General

[QUOTE=nox;49308809]Is it weird that I find clinginess to be an attractive quality? I don't have a lot of close friends or busy things going on with my life so if a girl wants to give me attention and know what I'm doing every 3 minutes of the day I'm kinda cool with that...for now at least.[/QUOTE] I think "clinginess" just has a negative connotation to it inherently, but I kinda sympathize with what you mean. Like, I probably [i]would[/i] be a clingy person if I didn't have more sense to inhibit myself. I don't mean as far as romantic relationships go though, I just mean with all my friends in general. I care deeply about all my friends and I want to spend time with them pretty much every day, but I hold myself back from [i]contacting[/i] them every day because I know other people need more downtime than I do. So I would really like to make one friend (or girlfriend) who has that same capacity for constant contact that I have.

[QUOTE=nox;49309882]To me, clinginess is just the gap in interest that two people have in eachother. [/QUOTE] This seems like a really interesting way of putting it that I hadn't considered before. Also if it's someone with whom I have really good chemistry, and someone who for all intents and purpose is also my best friend, I legit don't see how "clingyness" is a bad thing? I'm either really naive, the clingy one, or I don't understand the term. Or all three

I'm surprised at my luck on dating sites. I've had 3 girls message me in 3 weeks, although all but one girl I've messaged first has failed to respond to me. I've been talking to this girl who lives about an hour from me recently. She's so sweet to me, and I'm sweet back to her. We'll talk about our problems and how it would be to spend time with each other. Apparently she's also autistic like myself so that makes her far more relatable. Her autism has actually affected her motor skills, so she can't walk without the support of a cane. She asked me if I would be embarrassed if she had to hold onto me when we walked together and I told her no. In fact, I think that's very adorable. I would love that.

If a girl I'm interested currently likes someone else, but that someone else is, in fact, uninterested in them, is it wrong to continue to pursue the girl I'm interested in? I'm completely clueless on such a situation.

[QUOTE=Zoran;49312892]If a girl I'm interested currently likes someone else, but that someone else is, in fact, uninterested in them, is it wrong to continue to pursue the girl I'm interested in? I'm completely clueless on such a situation.[/QUOTE] Well see it this way. You either pursue them until they cave in and go with you as a second choice. or You leave her alone because she isn't interested.

I regret introducing my crush to one of my best friends. basically just got abortion in that relationship

[QUOTE=greeley;49313361]Well see it this way. You either pursue them until they cave in and go with you as a second choice. or You leave her alone because she isn't interested.[/QUOTE] I don't mean pursue in such a way where I'd be disruptive and actively try to get with her, is the thing. Whatever I do, the last thing I want is to be her rebound. But in using the logic that because she likes someone else, she'd be going with me as a second choice, doesn't that mean that basically anyone ever would have a hard time ever going out with her because she likes this person now? That's the thing that I'm struggling with. Because on one hand what you're saying makes sense, but on the other, after a period of time, wouldn't it not matter?

Yeah that's pretty much how it works. It'll matter as long as she's interested in this person. Everyone else becomes second best until she gets over her interest in this person who does not return the sentiment.

[QUOTE=Zar;49297741]wow so i was just talking to this girl who definitely seemed interested in me at some relaxed houseparty thing, and my good friend just lays on top of me so im unable to speak and asks "wanna go outside" and that was it, im not mad or anything, just wondering how that happend like what the fuck, they were gonna bang but my silly silly friend did not have a condom so at least he was smart enough to not do it without one[/QUOTE] restating what was said before; this guy doesn't seem like your friend, or atleast doesn't respect you as one [editline]14th December 2015[/editline] [QUOTE=PredGD;49308096]Friday was a blast up until the end. I knew pretty much everyone who was invited except for one girl which the girl I've posted about a few times here decided to invite. even the two who didn't intend to show up, showed up! didn't show up until pretty late though so they weren't there that long. I think we were 8 in total? got a pretty good impression of the girl I didn't know. at one point I carried her down the stairs to the toilet since she had no idea where it was, and we both just laid down and talked for what felt like ages. eventually the others had to get us since we never came back up. wouldn't mind meeting her again! was a good night until the very end when one of the guests decided to leave. he said he was gonna pick up some things but disappeared for 3 hours. it was obvious what he had done, he had gone off to smoke weed which I had strictly told him not to do long before Friday as he was coming back. didn't want weed used or stored in my house, nor did I want anyone to be affected by it while they were at my place. I don't really care if he smokes outside of that, but smoking and being affected by it at my place is a big no-no. at one point two of the ones who showed up towards the end drove off and sent one of us a message and told us they had seen him at a stoner friend of his. me being drunk, I got incredibly pissed and started yelling, the mood got quite sour. I felt like he had disrespected my wish, that I had been stepped on, and so on. I kinda realized I wasn't able to think rationally since I had been drinking quite a lot and was mad, so I just dropped out of the conversation completely. then I got really sad and broke down crying since I felt bad for him, and then a close friend of mine and him called the cops on him, it was a big mess. lots of feelings that night. since I broke down crying, the girl I've posted about broke down crying as well, which carried on to another guest. decided to tell the guy who had ran off to smoke weed that he wasn't welcome anymore and I haven't talked to him since. he was originally going to stay over but that changed. we were only 4 now though so most people was gone, and the remaining people stayed for the night.[/QUOTE] why did you even invite the dude at all if you/your friends were willing to call the cops on him and you knew he smoked and that it could have caused a problem like this? You might have avoided the entire scenario I would think? I'm really sorry he didn't respect your views but I'm surprised it ended up affecting you so much. I would have just been like fuck off for screwing with my party so I wouldn't let it ruin my night. One other question I have tho, why does it matter to you if someone is high at your place if they didn't smoke it there? Genuinely curious on why, why I'm asking Hope you were able to salvage an ok night out of it!

so the dude smoked outside of your house? he didn't actually bring anything in? he was high, that's it? and you, being drunk as shit got mad at him for being high, and even called the cops on him? that's dumb

[QUOTE=RenegadeCop;49315319]A few years ago, a friend and I cursed at each other over the phone because we both thought the other was getting high when neither of us were. It was a very memorable moment.[/QUOTE] My friends think I'm high all the time but I've never smoked weed in my life

[QUOTE=Pascall;49314463]Yeah that's pretty much how it works. It'll matter as long as she's interested in this person. Everyone else becomes second best until she gets over her interest in this person who does not return the sentiment.[/QUOTE] What about the opposite, as in she dated the other dude for some time and then decided she wasn't interested anymore?

[QUOTE=_Axel;49315779]What about the opposite, as in she dated the other dude for some time and then decided she wasn't interested anymore?[/QUOTE] she might do the same thing to you (probably)

[QUOTE=lotusking;49315835]she might do the same thing to you (probably)[/QUOTE] Well that's what my ex did to me and she's still with her new boyfriend, that doesn't seem to be a systematic thing.

I mean??? People lose interest. That's not an abnormal thing to happen to someone. It's not always necessarily the other person's fault, it's just a thing that happens.

[QUOTE=Kite_shugo;49314529] why did you even invite the dude at all if you/your friends were willing to call the cops on him and you knew he smoked and that it could have caused a problem like this? You might have avoided the entire scenario I would think? I'm really sorry he didn't respect your views but I'm surprised it ended up affecting you so much. I would have just been like fuck off for screwing with my party so I wouldn't let it ruin my night. One other question I have tho, why does it matter to you if someone is high at your place if they didn't smoke it there? Genuinely curious on why, why I'm asking Hope you were able to salvage an ok night out of it![/QUOTE] he's a good friend of mine and I had no idea that it'd escalate to our good friend calling the cops on him, I didn't even expect him to disrespect my wish to begin with. yeah, I got way too caught up in this which I usually don't, I think I'd blame myself for getting too drunk. personally I don't mind that much, if I lived on my own it'd be totally okay, but I don't. I wanted to respect my parents by not including any form of illicit drug in the house or anyone to be affected by it there either. if he uses it outside of that, when I smoke with him, when he smokes with others, I really don't mind. it was just important for me that none of that stuff got around to my place in respect for my parents [QUOTE=Zukriuchen;49314796]so the dude smoked outside of your house? he didn't actually bring anything in? he was high, that's it? and you, being drunk as shit got mad at him for being high, and even called the cops on him? that's dumb[/QUOTE] I don't mind if people smoke weed or do drugs in general, what I was most focused on in the moment was that he was not going to come around or stick around if he was high at my place. I quickly jumped out of the conversation since I was drunk and even I knew I was acting way out of it, I got pissed over something that I usually consider to not be a big deal at all. as soon as my friend decided to call the cops, who I told not to as I felt it was unnecessary, I started feeling incredibly bad for him as I didn't feel like he deserved to get the cops after him for something like that.

[QUOTE=PredGD;49317485]he's a good friend of mine and I had no idea that it'd escalate to our good friend calling the cops on him, I didn't even expect him to disrespect my wish to begin with. yeah, I got way too caught up in this which I usually don't, I think I'd blame myself for getting too drunk. personally I don't mind that much, if I lived on my own it'd be totally okay, but I don't. I wanted to respect my parents by not including any form of illicit drug in the house or anyone to be affected by it there either. if he uses it outside of that, when I smoke with him, when he smokes with others, I really don't mind. it was just important for me that none of that stuff got around to my place in respect for my parents I don't mind if people smoke weed or do drugs in general, what I was most focused on in the moment was that he was not going to come around or stick around if he was high at my place. I quickly jumped out of the conversation since I was drunk and even I knew I was acting way out of it, I got pissed over something that I usually consider to not be a big deal at all. as soon as my friend decided to call the cops, who I told not to as I felt it was unnecessary, I started feeling incredibly bad for him as I didn't feel like he deserved to get the cops after him for something like that.[/QUOTE] what is the logic of this all of you were shit faced drunk on a fucking neurotoxin but your buddy couldnt smoke weed aight you didnt even stop your friend from calling the cops no excuses why did you let the situation escalate like that? it was your house... you could have just told him to get rid of it or told him he couldn't be there while he was high... alcohol is an infinitely worse drug, not only in what it does to your body from long term use but how it makes you act, you guys were super irrational unless this dude has a history of freaking out while he's high and you don't mention that at all so...

[QUOTE=lotusking;49317519]what is the logic of this all of you were shit faced drunk on a fucking neurotoxin but your buddy couldnt smoke weed aight you didnt even stop your friend from calling the cops no excuses why did you let the situation escalate like that? you could have just told him to get rid of it or told him he couldn't be there while he was high...[/QUOTE] it's not easy trying to get a situation under control when you're shit faced drunk. I tried to stop her from calling the cops, but my attempt failed. what could I do there? I had told him long before that Friday that he was not going to smoke, store or be influenced by weed while he was at my place, he knew I didn't find it okay that he was coming back when he went out. I told him in a much more polite manner directly to him that he was not coming over since he smoked when we confirmed that he had smoked. I don't know, I'm sure the situation could have been handled a lot better than how it was handled, but what exactly could I have done differently? if I have made a wish for him to not be influenced by weed at my place and he breaks that, am I not justified in saying that he can't come back anymore? the police stuff was incredibly unnecessary, but yet again, I can't exactly start to threaten our friend to not call the cops either.

[QUOTE=PredGD;49317599]it's not easy trying to get a situation under control when you're shit faced drunk. I tried to stop her from calling the cops, but my attempt failed. what could I do there? I had told him long before that Friday that he was not going to smoke, store or be influenced by weed while he was at my place, he knew I didn't find it okay that he was coming back when he went out. I told him in a much more polite manner directly to him that he was not coming over since he smoked when we confirmed that he had smoked. I don't know, I'm sure the situation could have been handled a lot better than how it was handled, but what exactly could I have done differently? if I have made a wish for him to not be influenced by weed at my place and he breaks that, am I not justified in saying that he can't come back anymore? the police stuff was incredibly unnecessary, but yet again, I can't exactly start to threaten our friend to not call the cops either.[/QUOTE] you could have done everything differently and yes you could threaten your friends. everyone else was drunk you were not powerless...if i were you i would have just taken the phone?? or atleast tried more vigilantly, i don't think being drunk can excuse you from that entirely... why are you letting your friends pressure and influence you that much? you're justified if you don't want him taking weed there but the fucking "he cant come over if high" is a little uhh... just silly considering you guys drink alcohol and that drug makes people infinitely more belligerent/gives brain lesions/advanced alcoholism will kill you with delirium tremens if you ever try to quit/

Can anyone recommend me a reliable and good dating site? I'm in Scotland, Fife, if that helps.

[QUOTE=lotusking;49317613]you could have done everything differently and yes you could threaten your friends. everyone else was drunk you were not powerless...if i were you i would have just taken the phone?? or atleast tried more vigilantly why are you letting your friends pressure and influence you that much? you're justified if you don't want him taking weed there but the fucking "he cant come over if high" is a little uhh... just silly considering you guys drink alcohol and that drug makes people infinitely more belligerent/gives brain lesions/advanced alcoholism will kill you with delirium tremens if you ever try to quit/[/QUOTE] who cares if alcohol is worse than weed? it's not about what drug is better than the other drug here, it's all about him disrespecting my wish, yet again. alcohol is socially acceptable in most peoples eyes and it's legal, weed is not. in my eyes, weed is okay, in my parents eyes and some of my guests eyes? not so much. if this was my place, I'd be totally cool with him smoking weed, but I don't own this house. is it really silly to respect the house owners wish of not including any illegal drugs? and what, threaten my friends? what the fuck? if they really want to call the cops and I disagree with that, of course, I'll tell them that I don't want that to happen and that I think it'd be better not to, but if they don't listen to me and do it anyway, I'm not going to get physical, take their phone or cause more drama in general. it seems pretty obvious that we have different opinions on drugs in general. sure, I don't mind drugs, I do drugs when I get the chance, but I don't want that stuff anywhere near my parents house. they're not accepting of it at all, so of course I'm going to respect that.

[QUOTE=PredGD;49317485]he's a good friend of mine and I had no idea that it'd escalate to our good friend calling the cops on him, I didn't even expect him to disrespect my wish to begin with[/QUOTE] have you thought that maybe it was an unreasonable request? don't smoke weed at my place? ok don't smoke weed [I]near[/I] my place or carry any? alright "don't even show up high" is the point where it starts being very weird and controlling not to mention hypocritical since you were drinking "quite a bit" yourself was he making a scene? being a jerk? in what way did him being high affect you?

[QUOTE=PredGD;49317719]who cares if alcohol is worse than weed? it's not about what drug is better than the other drug here, it's all about him disrespecting my wish, yet again. alcohol is socially acceptable in most peoples eyes and it's legal, weed is not. in my eyes, weed is okay, in my parents eyes and some of my guests eyes? not so much. if this was my place, I'd be totally cool with him smoking weed, but I don't own this house. is it really silly to respect the house owners wish of not including any illegal drugs? and what, threaten my friends? what the fuck? if they really want to call the cops and I disagree with that, of course, I'll tell them that I don't want that to happen and that I think it'd be better not to, but if they don't listen to me and do it anyway, I'm not going to get physical, take their phone or cause more drama in general. it seems pretty obvious that we have different opinions on drugs in general. sure, I don't mind drugs, I do drugs when I get the chance, but I don't want that stuff anywhere near my parents house. they're not accepting of it at all, so of course I'm going to respect that.[/QUOTE] whatever dude get walked on your entire life . . . i wasnt trying to TALK DRUGS it's just literally part of the inebriation equation... you're a wimp who let your friend get cop'd for no reason. i'm not even trying to be rude or hurtful, but that's what i see, you had no integrity. you clearly didn't want them to call the cops but you didn't really do anything to stop your friends from shitting on that poor dude... because he wanted to get high and hang out with some drunks? is he like the scapegoat of the club too? sounds like this dude never gets any respect from you guys anyways he'll prob be better off after this.

[QUOTE=PredGD;49317719]who cares if alcohol is worse than weed? it's not about what drug is better than the other drug here, it's all about him disrespecting my wish, yet again. alcohol is socially acceptable in most peoples eyes and it's legal, weed is not. in my eyes, weed is okay, in my parents eyes and some of my guests eyes? not so much. if this was my place, I'd be totally cool with him smoking weed, but I don't own this house. is it really silly to respect the house owners wish of not including any illegal drugs? and what, threaten my friends? what the fuck? if they really want to call the cops and I disagree with that, of course, I'll tell them that I don't want that to happen and that I think it'd be better not to, but if they don't listen to me and do it anyway, I'm not going to get physical, take their phone or cause more drama in general. it seems pretty obvious that we have different opinions on drugs in general. sure, I don't mind drugs, I do drugs when I get the chance, but I don't want that stuff anywhere near my parents house. they're not accepting of it at all, so of course I'm going to respect that.[/QUOTE] was he visibly stoned? was he telling anyone he was high? would you even have known if you hadn't, apparently, kept track of his every movement?

[QUOTE=lotusking;49317613]you could have done everything differently and yes you could threaten your friends. everyone else was drunk you were not powerless...if i were you i would have just taken the phone?? or atleast tried more vigilantly, i don't think being drunk can excuse you from that entirely... why are you letting your friends pressure and influence you that much? you're justified if you don't want him taking weed there but the fucking "he cant come over if high" is a little uhh... just silly considering you guys drink alcohol and that drug makes people infinitely more belligerent/gives brain lesions/advanced alcoholism will kill you with delirium tremens if you ever try to quit/[/QUOTE] Not sure if you actually think DT is common (it's not) or if you just wanted to show off that you had a general idea of what that disorder is. Weed also inhibits brain development and permanently affects memory and attention span. Most people who drink are not going to have a lot of health issues from it. Whether pot or alcohol is worse has no relevance here and I'm not sure why you're trying to bring that into this. Regardless, I am curious about your reasoning for not wanting him to be under the influence of pot at your house, Pred. He wasn't smoking at your place - I'm sure he was surprised you were so upset with him when he went out of his way to follow your requests. I personally can't see the logic behind getting angry because someone went elsewhere to smoke when your request was only for them to not smoke at your house.

[QUOTE=Guy Mannly;49317834]Not sure if you actually think DT is actually common (it's not) or if you just wanted to show off that you had a general idea of what that disorder is. Weed also inhibits brain development and permanently affects memory and attention span. Most people who drink are not going to have a lot of health issues from it. Whether pot or alcohol is worse has no relevance here and I'm not sure why you're trying to bring that into this. Regardless, I am curious about your reasoning for not wanting him to be under the influence of pot at your house, Pred. He wasn't smoking at your place - I'm sure he was surprised you were so upset with him when he went out of his way to follow your requests. I personally can't see the logic behind getting angry because someone went elsewhere to smoke when your request was only for them to not smoke at your house.[/QUOTE] i think it's inherently important to talk about it because they were all under the influence? I don't see how i'm turning this into a drug contest... also god forbid someone mention something they're not entirely versed in like nobody ever does that right? you seem to think i think weed is some sort of miracle cancer cure plant.

[QUOTE=lotusking;49317843]i think it's inherently important to talk about it because they were all under the influence? I don't see how i'm turning this into a drug contest.[/QUOTE] The reason he's angry is because he specifically requested his friend not smoke pot at his house and his friend did something that he perceived as disobeying that request. You responded by writing a post lecturing him about how his views toward weed are hypocritical because he drinks.

[QUOTE=Guy Mannly;49317858]The reason he's angry is because he specifically requested his friend not smoke pot at his house and his friend did something that he perceived as disobeying that request. You responded by writing a post lecturing him about how his views toward weed are hypocritical because he drinks.[/QUOTE] There's more in my responses to him than just weed and alcohol but alright... he treated his friend extremely unfairly and that's what i'm livid about not that he doesn't want weed/high people at his parents house. Is it not okay to point out his hypocrisy in this situation where his friend got fucked in the ass?? but whatever rate me dumb lol!!! his perceptions were illogical.

[QUOTE=lotusking;49317873]There's more in my responses to him than just weed and alcohol but alright... he treated his friend extremely unfairly and that's what i'm livid about not that he doesn't want weed/high people at his parents house. Is it not okay to point out his hypocrisy in this situation where his friend got fucked in the ass??[/QUOTE] [QUOTE=lotusking;49317519]what is the logic of this all of you were shit faced drunk on a fucking neurotoxin[/quote] [QUOTE=lotusking;49317519]alcohol is an infinitely worse drug, not only in what it does to your body from long term use but how it makes you act[/QUOTE] [QUOTE=lotusking;49317613]just silly considering you guys drink alcohol and that drug makes people infinitely more belligerent/gives brain lesions/advanced alcoholism will kill you with delirium tremens if you ever try to quit/[/QUOTE] Pointing out hypocrisy is fine but it hardly seems to be your focus here. If you're going to start an argument about how terrible alcohol is, at least do your research first. [editline]14th December 2015[/editline] And there's a pretty thick line between "pointing out hypocrisy" and flaming. Don't be a dick.

[QUOTE=Guy Mannly;49317924]Pointing out hypocrisy is fine but it hardly seems to be your focus here. If you're going to start an argument about how terrible alcohol is, at least do your research first.[/QUOTE] both of my parents have been alcoholics since they were teenagers so don't try to lecture me, sorry i spreaded one tidbit of misinformation.