Super Friendly Social and Love Advice v7 - Bro just do it, She prob likes you - General

[QUOTE=Zukriuchen;49317739]have you thought that maybe it was an unreasonable request? don't smoke weed at my place? ok don't smoke weed [I]near[/I] my place or carry any? alright "don't even show up high" is the point where it starts being very weird and controlling not to mention hypocritical since you were drinking "quite a bit" yourself was he making a scene? being a jerk? in what way did him being high affect you?[/QUOTE] personally I don't think it is a very unreasonable request. if I showed up tripping on acid, high on weed or really drunk on alcohol at a friend of mines place, I don't think I'd be welcomed with open arms unless this was agreed on before hand. sure, if they were an active user of any of these things I'm sure they'd understand more, but none of my friends really are other than a few people. [QUOTE=lotusking;49317741]whatever dude get walked on your entire life . . . i wasnt trying to TALK DRUGS it's just literally part of the inebriation equation... you're a wimp who let your friend get cop'd for no reason. i'm not even trying to be rude or hurtful, but that's what i see, you had no integrity. you clearly didn't want them to call the cops but you didn't really do anything to stop your friends from shitting on that poor dude... because he wanted to get high and hang out with some drunks? is he like the scapegoat of the club too? sounds like this dude never gets any respect from you guys anyways he'll prob be better off after this.[/QUOTE] I feel like you're jumping to a lot of conclusions here. how am I a wimp for not threatening my friend to not call the cops? I was already acting incredibly unreasonable, I'm pretty sure it could have escalated in an even worse direction if I were to get physical with another guest. [QUOTE=Zukriuchen;49317755]was he visibly stoned? was he telling anyone he was high? would you even have known if you hadn't, apparently, kept track of his every movement?[/QUOTE] I wouldn't say we were stalking him, it was pretty obvious pretty fast what he had gone off to do. but no, I don't think he'd affect us that much or be visibly stoned if he were to come back. [QUOTE=Guy Mannly;49317834]Not sure if you actually think DT is common (it's not) or if you just wanted to show off that you had a general idea of what that disorder is. Weed also inhibits brain development and permanently affects memory and attention span. Most people who drink are not going to have a lot of health issues from it. Whether pot or alcohol is worse has no relevance here and I'm not sure why you're trying to bring that into this. Regardless, I am curious about your reasoning for not wanting him to be under the influence of pot at your house, Pred. He wasn't smoking at your place - I'm sure he was surprised you were so upset with him when he went out of his way to follow your requests. I personally can't see the logic behind getting angry because someone went elsewhere to smoke when your request was only for them to not smoke at your house.[/QUOTE] in the end, I was mostly angry about him not respecting my request to keep pot away, to not use or to be influenced by it at my place. sure, if I never told him and he showed up high I'd let him stay, but I had told him not to. I felt sort of stepped on you could say which made me upset. in the end, yeah, I did get a lot more affected than I should have, that I can see. the weed here is not really the problem, it's more that he didn't follow my "rules" of staying over. since he didn't follow this rule, I felt justified in my current state of mind to not let him come back. if this was for anything else than weed, I'm sure the outcome would be fairly similar.

[QUOTE=lotusking;49317937]both of my parents have been alcoholics since they were teenagers so don't try to lecture me, sorry i spread one tidbit of misinformation.[/QUOTE] You must have a really expansive understanding of how alcohol affects the general population based on the two alcoholics you know. Unfortunately, studying a sample size of two alcoholics with no control group isn't going to get you any useful data. Not everyone who touches a drink becomes an alcoholic, just like not everyone who smokes a joint becomes a pothead. Alcoholism is a mental disorder, just like drug addiction, and alcohol itself is not at fault for these mental conditions existing.

[QUOTE=PredGD;49317946]personally I don't think it is a very unreasonable request. if I showed up tripping on acid, high on weed or really drunk on alcohol at a friend of mines place, I don't think I'd be welcomed with open arms unless this was agreed on before hand. sure, if they were an active user of any of these things I'm sure they'd understand more, but none of my friends really are other than a few people. I feel like you're jumping to a lot of conclusions here. how am I a wimp for not threatening my friend to not call the cops? I was already acting incredibly unreasonable, I'm pretty sure it could have escalated in an even worse direction if I were to get physical with another guest. I wouldn't say we were stalking him, it was pretty obvious pretty fast what he had gone off to do. but no, I don't think he'd affect us that much or be visibly stoned if he were to come back. in the end, I was mostly angry about him not respecting my request to keep pot away, to not use or to be influenced by it at my place. sure, if I never told him and he showed up high I'd let him stay, but I had told him not to. I felt sort of stepped on you could say which made me upset. in the end, yeah, I did get a lot more affected than I should have, that I can see. the weed here is not really the problem, it's more that he didn't follow my "rules" of staying over. since he didn't follow this rule, I felt justified in my current state of mind to not let him come back. if this was for anything else than weed, I'm sure the outcome would be fairly similar.[/QUOTE] i apologize for using harsh language and being reactionary but i can see how it made you feel though, i've let shitty friends walk all over me before... [editline]15th December 2015[/editline] [QUOTE=Guy Mannly;49317969]You must have a really expansive understanding of how alcohol affects the general population based on the two alcoholics you know. Unfortunately, studying a sample size of two alcoholics with no control group isn't going to get you any useful data. Not everyone who touches a drink becomes an alcoholic, just like not everyone who smokes a joint becomes a pothead. Alcoholism is a mental disorder, just like drug addiction, and alcohol itself is not at fault for these mental conditions existing.[/QUOTE] ok so the only way you can garner information about alcoholics is through fucking peer review? like life experience is worth nothing? stop trying to act like you're a fucking Hotshot scientist... your condescending attitude is just gross i dont really need it hunny. you talk like seith. while i just hurl cursewords at people... you like to make people think they're dumb dumbs and you're the smart smart huh does it get you off trying to "intellectually" shit on forum posters. most of your posts amount to useless pseudo intellectual crudtalk

[QUOTE=PredGD;49317946]in the end, I was mostly angry about him not respecting my request to keep pot away, to not use or to be influenced by it at my place. sure, if I never told him and he showed up high I'd let him stay, but I had told him not to. I felt sort of stepped on you could say which made me upset. in the end, yeah, I did get a lot more affected than I should have, that I can see. the weed here is not really the problem, it's more that he didn't follow my "rules" of staying over. since he didn't follow this rule, I felt justified in my current state of mind to not let him come back. if this was for anything else than weed, I'm sure the outcome would be fairly similar.[/QUOTE] It seems like a pretty gray area to me since both of you probably felt you were justified in your actions. I assume he didn't understand your logic behind not wanting him to be high at your house if he had smoked elsewhere and didn't bring pot with him. It's also possible that he didn't consider himself to be "high" when he returned - you said he was gone for a few hours which might have been enough time for him to sober up a bit. The situation really just looks like an issue of communication and understanding between you two. I think you should talk to him about this - I'm sure you can come to an understanding and find a way to respect each other's perspectives on this.

[QUOTE=lotusking;49317987]ok so the only way you can garner information about alcoholics is through fucking peer review? like life experience is worth nothing? stop trying to act like you're a fucking Hotshot scientist... your condescending attitude is just gross i dont really need it hunny. you talk like seith. while i just hurl cursewords at people... you like to make people think they're dumb dumbs and you're the smart smart huh does it get you off trying to "intellectually" shit on forum posters. most of your posts amount to useless pseudo intellectual crudtalk[/QUOTE] The only way you "win" an argument on the internet is by being the one less emotionally distraught by it. After spending 15 hours last week reading on alcohol addiction for my final exam, I was a little bit salty about the subject. I wasn't really trying to make you mad, but I suppose I have to take credit for it since I obviously did such a good job of it.

[QUOTE=PredGD;49317946]personally I don't think it is a very unreasonable request. if I showed up tripping on acid, high on weed or really drunk on alcohol at a friend of mines place, I don't think I'd be welcomed with open arms unless this was agreed on before hand. sure, if they were an active user of any of these things I'm sure they'd understand more, but none of my friends really are other than a few people. [/QUOTE] why are you putting "high on weed" next to "tripping on acid" and "[I]really[/I] drunk"? listen man, i've seen your posts on addicts lounge and i know weed affects you badly. but keep in mind, it's not like that everyone. i've spent entire days stoned while still completely functional. not something i do often, but that's beside the point- the point is, what effect did him being high have on you or anyone else at the party? if he was just hanging around, not actually telling anyone he was high, having a good time, isn't confronting him utterly pointless?

[QUOTE=Guy Mannly;49318073]The only way you "win" an argument on the internet is by being the one less emotionally distraught by it. After spending 15 hours last week reading on alcohol addiction for my final exam, I was a little bit salty about the subject. I wasn't really trying to make you mad, but I suppose I have to take credit for it since I obviously did such a good job of it.[/QUOTE] Oh my Your Final Exam Congratulations!@!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! braggart retard what have you created guy mannly besides a pile of stinking pseudo intellectual word salad and some sort of arrogant elitism

like i feel like you're not giving enough importance to the fact that you were totally wasted and yelling at people yet saying being high is a problem

[QUOTE=lotusking;49317987]ok so the only way you can garner information about alcoholics is through fucking peer review? like life experience is worth nothing? stop trying to act like you're a fucking Hotshot scientist... your condescending attitude is just gross i dont really need it hunny. you talk like seith. while i just hurl cursewords at people... you like to make people think they're dumb dumbs and you're the smart smart huh does it get you off trying to "intellectually" shit on forum posters. most of your posts amount to useless pseudo intellectual crudtalk[/QUOTE] damn dude i dont know what argument you're making but you're making it poorly

[QUOTE=E = MC Hammer;49318091]damn dude i dont know what argument you're making but you're making it poorly[/QUOTE] guy mannly is being a condescending pedantic cunt and shes totally misunderstanding my posts/ then she starts bragging about her VAST knowledge of alcoholism...

i guarantee you she knows more than you do [editline]14th December 2015[/editline] how long have you had that title btw trying to figure out how long you've been like this

[QUOTE=Zukriuchen;49318074]why are you putting "high on weed" next to "tripping on acid" and "[I]really[/I] drunk"? listen man, i've seen your posts on addicts lounge and i know weed affects you badly. but keep in mind, it's not like that everyone. i've spent entire days stoned while still completely functional. not something i do often, but that's beside the point- the point is, what effect did him being high have on you or anyone else at the party? if he was just hanging around, not actually telling anyone he was high, having a good time, isn't confronting him utterly pointless?[/QUOTE] I do agree with you here, I honestly don't think him being high would really affect anyone at all other than himself, but then again, this isn't really what I reacted to mostly. what I reacted to was him not respecting my request to keep it away from my place, be it under the influence or bringing weed.

[QUOTE=E = MC Hammer;49318128]i guarantee you she knows more than you do [editline]14th December 2015[/editline] how long have you had that title btw trying to figure out how long you've been like this[/QUOTE] she wont fuck you even if you white knight her man [editline]15th December 2015[/editline] cold as ice [editline]15th December 2015[/editline] also it's kind of hard to fucking read finnish to english translations sorry if i got a bit mixed up!!!! predg cant speak english worth shit [editline]15th December 2015[/editline] hes fucking stupid probably autistic too... read his posts dude is fucking braindead lmao

[QUOTE=PredGD;49318140]I do agree with you here, I honestly don't think him being high would really affect anyone at all other than himself, but then again, this isn't really what I reacted to mostly. what I reacted to was him not respecting my request to keep it away from my place, be it under the influence or bringing weed.[/QUOTE] look at this from his point of view. he probably figured your request had to do with not getting attention from cops. he probably didn't think you'd make a big deal out of it because normally, [I]nobody would.[/I] you're a bunch of young people getting wasted at a party, he probably didn't realize it'd be such a massive issue to show up under the influence of a different drug than the one you're using

why am i not banned yet? [editline]15th December 2015[/editline] gonna ask rusty if he'll ban me [editline]15th December 2015[/editline] gonna ask rusty if he'll ban me

[QUOTE=Guy Mannly;49318012]It seems like a pretty gray area to me since both of you probably felt you were justified in your actions. I assume he didn't understand your logic behind not wanting him to be high at your house if he had smoked elsewhere and didn't bring pot with him. It's also possible that he didn't consider himself to be "high" when he returned - you said he was gone for a few hours which might have been enough time for him to sober up a bit. The situation really just looks like an issue of communication and understanding between you two. I think you should talk to him about this - I'm sure you can come to an understanding and find a way to respect each other's perspectives on this.[/QUOTE] yeah, I think I might just not have been very clear about what was okay or not, but I do feel that he knew. initially he didn't admit to having smoked weed to those who were at my place on Friday, but he did say so to others who weren't there. eventually he did admit it so to me it's pretty clear that he knew he was doing something I wouldn't respect if he were to come back. I've sent him a message on Facebook explaining my side, why I got so mad (I never confronted him or yelled at him since he wasn't present, he's just hearing the story from others) and that I have no negative feelings about this at this point. that I had drunk too much and got way too mad over it, but that I felt sort of justified in feeling some of what I felt (just not as strongly) since he did disrespect my request. since it's 3AM I'm still waiting for his response of course, but I'm sure we'll figure it out. I finished the message with "in the end, no hard feelings man, I still care about you a lot" [QUOTE=Zukriuchen;49318180]look at this from his point of view. he probably figured your request had to do with not getting attention from cops. he probably didn't think you'd make a big deal out of it because normally, [I]nobody would.[/I] you're a bunch of young people getting wasted at a party, he probably didn't realize it'd be such a massive issue to show up under the influence of a different drug than the one you're using[/QUOTE] I can totally see that, but then again, I feel like I made it sort of clear what was okay and not okay. I've sent him a message though so we'll see what he thinks about this entire thing

[QUOTE=PredGD;49318140]I do agree with you here, I honestly don't think him being high would really affect anyone at all other than himself, but then again, this isn't really what I reacted to mostly. what I reacted to was him not respecting my request to keep it away from my place, be it under the influence or bringing weed.[/QUOTE] I don't think this is worth ending your friendship with him over. Talk to him about it. [editline]14th December 2015[/editline] [QUOTE=PredGD;49318225]I've sent him a message on Facebook explaining my side, why I got so mad (I never confronted him or yelled at him since he wasn't present, he's just hearing the story from others) and that I have no negative feelings about this at this point. that I had drunk too much and got way too mad over it, but that I felt sort of justified in feeling some of what I felt (just not as strongly) since he did disrespect my request. since it's 3AM I'm still waiting for his response of course, but I'm sure we'll figure it out. I finished the message with "in the end, no hard feelings man, I still care about you a lot"[/QUOTE] Just saw this after I posted that - glad to hear you're contacting him!

[QUOTE=Guy Mannly;49318228]I don't think this is worth ending your friendship with him over. Talk to him about it.[/QUOTE] yeah like he isn't going to end his friendship with PREDg over this autistic shit.

Can I get a dating site recommendation?

I've been doing okay with Okcupid here in Scotland.

[QUOTE=GlebGuy;49318344]Can I get a dating site recommendation?[/QUOTE] I met my current boyfriend on OkCupid, we're in the US though.

[QUOTE=PredGD;49318225]I can totally see that, but then again, I feel like I made it sort of clear what was okay and not okay. I've sent him a message though so we'll see what he thinks about this entire thing[/QUOTE] There was probably also an issue of him not realizing how not-okay "not okay" was. Because I think for most people in that situation, the response would be to say something like "dude, c'mon." Not "you are now banned from my house and my friend is sending the cops after you."

[QUOTE=lotusking;49317987]ok so the only way you can garner information about alcoholics is through fucking peer review? like life experience is worth nothing? stop trying to act like you're a fucking Hotshot scientist... your condescending attitude is just gross i dont really need it hunny. you talk like seith. while i just hurl cursewords at people... you like to make people think they're dumb dumbs and you're the smart smart huh does it get you off trying to "intellectually" shit on forum posters. most of your posts amount to useless pseudo intellectual crudtalk[/QUOTE] That is the only [I]reliable[/I] way to gather information about alcoholics that can be presented as a proper argument. Life experience is worth nothing in the realm of debate, it's all about facts that can be backed up by data. There is a reason we have an established process for that and don't just assume all dogs are black because our aunt's mother-in-law's is. Stop being hostile. [editline]15th December 2015[/editline] Oh, he's permabanned. My bad.

[QUOTE=Zoran;49314445]I don't mean pursue in such a way where I'd be disruptive and actively try to get with her, is the thing. Whatever I do, the last thing I want is to be her rebound. But in using the logic that because she likes someone else, she'd be going with me as a second choice, doesn't that mean that basically anyone ever would have a hard time ever going out with her because she likes this person now? That's the thing that I'm struggling with. Because on one hand what you're saying makes sense, but on the other, after a period of time, wouldn't it not matter?[/QUOTE] No. not really. People fall out of love quite easily. I used to find a friend i had really attractive and appealing and i was infatuated by them so much.... But that soon left after a few months. Once you realise you're not going to be their special person, your brain soon learns that its not going to happen and moves on.

It was reasonable that you asked him not to smoke weed at or around your place It was unreasonable that you got mad, yelled, and called the cops over him just being high at your party You probably just overreacted because you were drunk. End of story, let's stop this pointless debate.

[QUOTE=Wealth + Taste;49322285]It was reasonable that you asked him not to smoke weed at or around your place It was unreasonable that you got mad, yelled, and called the cops over him just being high at your party You probably just overreacted because you were drunk. End of story, let's stop this pointless debate.[/QUOTE] Yeah I think that point was already clear, people just clarifying opinions? [editline]15th December 2015[/editline] [QUOTE=Guy Mannly;49318696]I met my current boyfriend on OkCupid, we're in the US though.[/QUOTE] Met a girlfriend off it 3 months ago; 2 years ago I would have thought that impossible [editline]15th December 2015[/editline] [QUOTE=lotusking;49318145]she wont fuck you even if you white knight her man [editline]15th December 2015[/editline] cold as ice [editline]15th December 2015[/editline] also it's kind of hard to fucking read finnish to english translations sorry if i got a bit mixed up!!!! predg cant speak english worth shit [editline]15th December 2015[/editline] hes fucking stupid probably autistic too... read his posts dude is fucking braindead lmao[/QUOTE] I really don't know what was making you act this way and why you wanted to get perma'd so badly; jeez

[QUOTE=Yahnich;49321568][B][CITATION NEEDED][/B][/QUOTE] Fair enough. Bit busy today so just going to link a few things. If you're in uni you can search on your own as well via your school's available databases (full texts might not be available otherwise). [url]http://dx.doi.org/10.1073%2Fpnas.1415297111[/url] [url]http://dx.doi.org/10.1017/S1355617707071032[/url] [url]http://dx.doi.org/10.1037/a0026770[/url] [url]http://dx.doi.org/10.1111/j.1530-0277.2010.01320.x[/url]

Been feeling some heavy anxiety in the workplace. I'm still fairly new, but I don't think that's the case. They're explaining things to me that I take too long to understand and I don't feel on par with anyone else. It's as if I'm wearing a badge that says 'worthless' on it. [editline] [/editline] That said, after a full year of experiencing these thoughts, I'm finally queued for one on one therapy. Hope it helps.

[QUOTE=Guy Mannly;49322615]Fair enough. Bit busy today so just going to link a few things. If you're in uni you can search on your own as well via your school's available databases (full texts might not be available otherwise). [url]http://dx.doi.org/10.1073%2Fpnas.1415297111[/url] [url]http://dx.doi.org/10.1017/S1355617707071032[/url] [url]http://dx.doi.org/10.1037/a0026770[/url] [url]http://dx.doi.org/10.1111/j.1530-0277.2010.01320.x[/url][/QUOTE] Hmm, interesting stuff. [quote=http://www.pnas.org/content/111/47/16913.full#T1]To date, treatment and prognosis of cannabis use disorders is hampered by the inconclusive underlying pathophysiology associated with marijuana use. In this study, we found that chronic exposure to marijuana [B](i) reduces OFC gray matter volume, (ii) increases structural and functional connectivity, and (iii) leads to neural alterations that are modulated by age of onset and duration of use. All in all, these findings suggest that chronic marijuana use results in complex neuroadaptive processes. Future studies are needed to determine whether these changes revert back to normal following protracted abstinence from marijuana use. Existing literature shows that cognitive alterations and CB1 receptor down-regulation in regular marijuana users may return to normal values due to neuroadaptive phenomena occurring after periods of abstinence (51⇓–53). Although our study cannot address whether the structural alterations observed are permanent or reversible, such an investigation would provide important information as to the trajectory of these effects. Given the indication that a quadratic trend may fit the trajectory of these alterations, it would be important to verify these findings with a longitudinal approach.[/B] [/quote] But in all those studies it seems there isn't enough information known for them to say it's 'permanent' like you said "Weed also inhibits brain development and permanently affects memory and attention span."

Unfortunately the long term effects of weed use are not very well known since it is difficult to research Marijuana due to the "war on drugs" legislation of the past