Super Friendly Social and Love Advice v7 - Bro just do it, She prob likes you - General

[QUOTE=based;49350862]anyone else feel really down even though it's Christmas haven't felt this bad for a while now [editline]19th December 2015[/editline] i've had enough now[/QUOTE] Christmas is another day to me now, it lost its charm a few years ago, it's nice seeing family but i see them all the time anyway, tbh id just like to work and earn money bc penalty rates

i had an interesting night last night. it started with my friend saying theres a party at her place so i bought a bottle of wine and walked for 2 and a half hours to this party. the party was pretty small, i talked to every one had a good time got fucking wasted (finished my wine, did shots downed 2 beers not a great idea). then we were inside getting ready to go out, i blacked out trying to help someone up and faceplanted and broke my nose. i cleaned the blood up and after it stopped bleeding we left. i decided there was no chance of me getting into any clubs so i decided i would go home, but first i wanted to sober up so i talked to every security guard about their job and their aspirations in life and most of them were getting really into it. then i ran into some friends and one wanted to swap pants with me because i was wearing black jeans, he was wearing little santa shorts and he couldnt get into anywhere. so we swap pants and i continue talking to people. so i talked to some buskers, they were less happy to chat than security was so i was getting ready to go home at about 3 when i decided to sit down next to one more busker, it was an asian girl playing one of those keyboards that you blow into. anyway we started chatting and she was pretty cool and she lived just around the corner from my place so we walked home together and i got her number.

[QUOTE=based;49351078]what do you mean?[/QUOTE] A professor of mine is accusing me of plagiarizing. It's put a damper on my mood to say the least.

[QUOTE=bdd458;49353748]A professor of mine is accusing me of plagiarizing. It's put a damper on my mood to say the least.[/QUOTE] i'm hoping you have what you need to prove you're not

it seems like the interest between me and the girl in the previous post is mutual, oh wow. this is exciting

[QUOTE=Behemoth_PT;49352377] And lastly 6) When I was there, I texted my ex, to try and vent with her for the sake of old times, and she was as brief as ever with her responses. Asked me what was going on and I told her that I was going through all this shit and felt miserable, told her that one of the main reasons was the fact that she wasn't there for me like in old times when we were friends, and I feel that I don't really have no one there for me. She apologized said that she cared and that she was still my friend and wanted to be there for me, told her that "I wish at least you made it look like so" and she apologized again saying that she feels guilty, but that the idea of being around me was still too traumatic for her and she was afraid it would trigger any bad emotions in her. She told me that she knew that I was hurt from the way she treated me, and the restoration of our friendship would pass through having a conversation about everything, but she didn't want to talk about it at least for now, so she agreed to arrange a time for me to vent and show me her support, but when the day came she invented another excuse and canceled "maybe another time, I'm kinda on my period". Since she doesn't care to ask how I am or any of that, It made me feel even more miserable and I just stopped contacting her for good. [/QUOTE] Can you blame her? It sounds like you were a huge asshole to her. You shouldn't blame ex's for your current problems, and especially don't try guilt tripping them.

I'm sorry but where did you get the information I was guilt tripping her or that I was a major asshole? Or what do you know of the history we had for 8 years to reach such a groundbreaking conclusion?

My ex contacted me out of nowhere two weeks ago asking if i can drive her home, the clock was around 2AM. She told me she was in my town and she lost her friends who where with her. So of course i couldn't leave her to take a cab or something so i told her i'm coming to pick her up. Thing is, she lives around 70KM away from me but it didn't matter because i care about her getting home safe. Anyways, I drove about 70KM to her apartment and i had to drive the same distance back. She did not have any money on her so she told me she would call tomorrow so we can talk and so on and it was ok for me. But i never got a call from her and she refused to respond to my text i sent her. Last week i sent her another text asking if she could pay for the drive but she told me she didn't have money right now and she had to transfer from her saving account but she was not home at that time and she would Swish me money when she got home, but so far i still haven't got anything from her or any response. I only asked for 150 SEK which is about 15 Euros so it's not much but still. I don't know if i should a text her demanding the money or i should just forget about it. It's just pretty frustrating when people do this. Any tips?

She will probably not pay you back and she used you to drive her home. 140Km is a big deal. It's not a distance you would drive just anyone for free. You seem like a great guy with a good heart but, don't get me wrong, you were a bit naive. She doesn't care for you as much as you care for her. She told you she'd call you for a chat and[I] bla bla bla *empty promise* bla bla bla[/I]. But really that's what people tell not to feel that guilty. It's the same empty/vague promise people say at the end of a favor: "Thank you, we gotta grab some coffee and chat sometime" and all that shit. It doesn't mean it's gonna happen, it's just the other person trying to be nice. There's a difference between "Let's hang out and chat" and "We gotta sit and have a chat sometime". The latter being a bit manipulative. She used you good because she knew you wouldn't say no. She took advantage of you. Next time either don't expect anything back or just don't do it. You have no obligation to do so, and she won't value more for it.

[QUOTE=Behemoth_PT;49355362]I'm sorry but where did you get the information I was guilt tripping her or that I was a major asshole? Or what do you know of the history we had for 8 years to reach such a groundbreaking conclusion?[/QUOTE] I'm not talking about your past experiences. I'm talking about your post. You contacted your ex out of nowhere to meet up and talk. Then told her it was partly her fault you were going through shit followed by her making an attempt to help and you telling her she wasn't trying hard enough. You don't see the issue?

[QUOTE=plunger435;49355744]I'm not talking about your past experiences. I'm talking about your post. You contacted your ex out of nowhere to meet up and talk. Then told her it was partly her fault you were going through shit followed by her making an attempt to help and you telling her she wasn't trying hard enough. You don't see the issue?[/QUOTE] I told that story here a few times now but maybe I didn't explain myself properly. She's been pretty much contacting me from time to time feeding me false hopes about wanting to be friends like before, while at the same time putting all the responsibility of such a thing in me for the most varied excuses. "Didn't know if you were ready" - when I told her that I was, and actually texted her a few times saying "hello, how are you doing" and getting the most bland responses from her, who keeps telling me she wants to be friends but for some reason it's my fault we're not. On that day, I texted her and we started chatting, and after a while I confronted her with that saying "look, I do want to be friends and I've been trying really, but how am I suppose to make it happen if you keep texting me saying you wish for it to happen and that you care and when I say hi you don't say anything more than "hi"". I just asked for some sincerity and she kept coming up with lame excuses. This time saying that I was the one putting obstacles on that because last time we talked I told her I was hurt about the fact that she kept saying one thing and doing another. Keep in mind that I contacted her for the sake of venting because she told me she would be up for that and casual talk, but wasn't still ready to talk about anything else. She asked me what were the reasons for me to feel so blue and I told her the truth, that I felt I lost a friend in her and because of the pressure I was feeling in university. She responded with "I'm here for you" and I replied with honesty "I wish you'd show that at least". She probably felt guilty, but she was the one making empty promises she can't keep. She said that despite not feeling comfortable hanging out with me yet, she would be available to talk in person on the next day and told me she would get out of work at X hours. I told her that it wasn't a big deal and that if she didn't feel comfortable I could try and find someone else to talk to. She replied with "No, if you need me I'll be there". And I said, ok "I'll tell you tomorrow". Next day I text her 1 hour before she leaves work "Hey, I'm ready to talk if you want to. I assume that you'll want to leave your stuff at home first so I'll meet you at the park near your home, when are you ready?" and she started protesting about the fact that I didn't say anything until 1 hour before she left, when the previous day I told her that I would text her to confirm (also I was busy the whole day). I said I apologized but I didn't want to create any inconvenience. She apologized and said it wasn't my fault but she was on her period and bleeding heavily so she was in a bad mood. I took it as a hint for "now is not a good time" and just said "ok, get well soon". And I didn't go and meet her. I haven't contacted her ever since, nor have I been contacted by her, who keeps telling me I'm still her best friend and shit, while feeding me with false hopes. I think I have the right to be upset in this situation. She doesn't care about me and my once best friend is now "dead". Maybe I have explained myself a bit poorly in this matter for the sake of wrapping up an already huge text but it's pretty much what's (not) been going on with me and this girl.

[QUOTE=Bucketboy;49355379]My ex contacted me out of nowhere two weeks ago asking if i can drive her home, the clock was around 2AM. She told me she was in my town and she lost her friends who where with her. So of course i couldn't leave her to take a cab or something so i told her i'm coming to pick her up. Thing is, she lives around 70KM away from me but it didn't matter because i care about her getting home safe. Anyways, I drove about 70KM to her apartment and i had to drive the same distance back. She did not have any money on her so she told me she would call tomorrow so we can talk and so on and it was ok for me. But i never got a call from her and she refused to respond to my text i sent her. Last week i sent her another text asking if she could pay for the drive but she told me she didn't have money right now and she had to transfer from her saving account but she was not home at that time and she would Swish me money when she got home, but so far i still haven't got anything from her or any response. I only asked for 150 SEK which is about 15 Euros so it's not much but still. I don't know if i should a text her demanding the money or i should just forget about it. It's just pretty frustrating when people do this. Any tips?[/QUOTE] sadly this was probably a pretty good lesson that you can't trust this person at all and that you can't fall for this sort of thing again. don't let her manipulate you like that

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[QUOTE=bdd458;49353748]A professor of mine is accusing me of plagiarizing. It's put a damper on my mood to say the least.[/QUOTE] That sucks man I hope it gets proved wrong, I'm sure you'll do really great in the end

[QUOTE=Zukriuchen;49355088]i'm hoping you have what you need to prove you're not[/QUOTE] I do, the only reasoning for this is that a couple of sources I used are also used by Wikipedia. Yeah. It's completely retarded and neither my professor or the administration have explianed to me, even though I have asked, how this is plagiarism.

[QUOTE=VIOLATION_SNG;49356415]sadly this was probably a pretty good lesson that you can't trust this person at all and that you can't fall for this sort of thing again. don't let her manipulate you like that[/QUOTE] A little update on this matter. I decided to sent a text saying " Can you give me the money." Without a question mark and i got a response saying " As I told you, I don't have money right now so i would appreciate if you could wait till the 23rd" I still have not responded yet and i don't know how i should do that either. Thing is, her friend who i have on facebook tagged her in a post saying they were going to party on Friday. Which makes me very frustrated because i know she has trouble with money because she's not doing her studies. And when i drove her home that day she told me she was not feeling good about anything and she's been partying every weekend since we broke up. I sometimes i just want to be rude at her but i don't i want to start some unnecessarily shit. I'm like 80% sure she was out partying on friday so everything feels like a bullshit excuse. I'm tired of this shit anyway, I've tried doing everything i can to help her with her studies and money mangement since we got together but one of her best friend is basically a toxic 19 years old who wants to party none stop. Really bad influence on her. I mean, she can do whatever she wants but sometimes i'm just worried she'll slip back into depression and going suicidal again and i feel like i need to be there for her.

[QUOTE=Bucketboy;49357931] I mean, she can do whatever she wants but sometimes i'm just worried she'll slip back into depression and going suicidal again and [B]i feel like i need to be there for her.[/B][/QUOTE] Don't, she isnt your problem anymore.

[QUOTE=Bucketboy;49357931]A little update on this matter. I decided to sent a text saying " Can you give me the money." Without a question mark and i got a response saying " As I told you, I don't have money right now so i would appreciate if you could wait till the 23rd" I still have not responded yet and i don't know how i should do that either. Thing is, her friend who i have on facebook tagged her in a post saying they were going to party on Friday. Which makes me very frustrated because i know she has trouble with money because she's not doing her studies. And when i drove her home that day she told me she was not feeling good about anything and she's been partying every weekend since we broke up. I sometimes i just want to be rude at her but i don't i want to start some unnecessarily shit. I'm like 80% sure she was out partying on friday so everything feels like a bullshit excuse. I'm tired of this shit anyway, I've tried doing everything i can to help her with her studies and money mangement since we got together but one of her best friend is basically a toxic 19 years old who wants to party none stop. Really bad influence on her. I mean, she can do whatever she wants but sometimes i'm just worried she'll slip back into depression and going suicidal again and i feel like i need to be there for her.[/QUOTE] You're obsessing about the situation more than you should and in doing so you're pressuring her and bombarding her like she owes you more than the gas expense. She already told you she would pay before, so let it be till the 23rd. Second. You don't need that much money to party. In fact you don't need money most times you go to a party. When someone tells you they don't have money it doesn't mean they have to stay locked up at home or that they can't spare a few bucks for booze. And it isn't your business to lecture her on how she should spend her money. Third. "I feel like I need to be there for her". You're being patronizing. No you don't need to be there for her. She's the one who needs to put her shit back together and you're not her knight in shiny armor. That's the part that wants her back talking, believe me. Like I said, you have a good heart and you're trying to be kind to her, but you're also being naive in hope that if you demonstrate how good you are and how kinds you are she'll notice you and starts valuing you. She won't, ok? In fact doing that will make her slip away even further whilst making you feel like a fool. Let her be. If you need the money she owes you, that's ok, but go looking for something more than that at your own risk.

[QUOTE=Bucketboy;49357931]A little update on this matter. I decided to sent a text saying " Can you give me the money." Without a question mark and i got a response saying " As I told you, I don't have money right now so i would appreciate if you could wait till the 23rd" I still have not responded yet and i don't know how i should do that either. Thing is, her friend who i have on facebook tagged her in a post saying they were going to party on Friday. Which makes me very frustrated because i know she has trouble with money because she's not doing her studies. And when i drove her home that day she told me she was not feeling good about anything and she's been partying every weekend since we broke up. I sometimes i just want to be rude at her but i don't i want to start some unnecessarily shit. I'm like 80% sure she was out partying on friday so everything feels like a bullshit excuse. I'm tired of this shit anyway, I've tried doing everything i can to help her with her studies and money mangement since we got together but one of her best friend is basically a toxic 19 years old who wants to party none stop. Really bad influence on her. I mean, she can do whatever she wants but sometimes i'm just worried she'll slip back into depression and going suicidal again and i feel like i need to be there for her.[/QUOTE] move on

[QUOTE=bdd458;49356980]I do, the only reasoning for this is that a couple of sources I used are also used by Wikipedia. Yeah. It's completely retarded and neither my professor or the administration have explianed to me, even though I have asked, how this is plagiarism.[/QUOTE] I'd like to point out as someone whose major literally has the word "analysis" in it, meaning I do nothing but write and research for my major, that I have on many occasions used the same sources that Wikipedia has used on top of other sources. And never once have I been called out for "plagiarism." I've done this for multiple classes as well, not just for my major. Hell, my old High School English teacher actually recommended that if we wanted some sources to start with Wikipedia's. I'd take the fight to them, point out what is clearly defined as plagiarism, and how using sources that Wikipedia also happens to use is not, by definition, plagiarism. They literally have no grounds to hold you on if that's the only problem they have. Aside from that I've had some pretty shitty online professors who I would have to bend over backwards for, and even had to get outside resources to assist in getting cooperation with her. Don't be afraid to offer to bring in a third-party review or opinion on it either from your college advisers or the department staff (especially the head of the department).

I felt really good on Friday. I was at a party and the girl hosting the thing ended up cuddling with me on the couch while everyone else was playing mario kart. I gotta admit, I had kind of a crush on her for a while when we first met, but that faded away over time. Still, I can't say it wasn't nice. Lately, girls want to cuddle with me more and more (or sometimes do more stuff) but the sucky thing is that none of these girls are looking for an actual relationship. I really don't want to be single, but all the single girls I know do.

[QUOTE=WitheredGryphon;49359740]I'd like to point out as someone whose major literally has the word "analysis" in it, meaning I do nothing but write and research for my major, that I have on many occasions used the same sources that Wikipedia has used on top of other sources. And never once have I been called out for "plagiarism." I've done this for multiple classes as well, not just for my major. Hell, my old High School English teacher actually recommended that if we wanted some sources to start with Wikipedia's. I'd take the fight to them, point out what is clearly defined as plagiarism, and how using sources that Wikipedia also happens to use is not, by definition, plagiarism. They literally have no grounds to hold you on if that's the only problem they have. Aside from that I've had some pretty shitty online professors who I would have to bend over backwards for, and even had to get outside resources to assist in getting cooperation with her. Don't be afraid to offer to bring in a third-party review or opinion on it either from your college advisers or the department staff (especially the head of the department).[/QUOTE] All of my friends (and other people I've asked) have thought this is bullshit, like my friend who just graduated said the same thing as you - he's been told on multiple occasions that Wikipedia is a great jumping off point and to explore the sources they use. This is the e-mail I got from her. [quote]I was saddened to open your final paper and see that it has substantial problems with sourcing. Several of your citations listed in your bibliography link to Wikipedia pages on Armenia and Armenian Genocide. I sought advice on this because it’s very close to a situation where I would file a formal report for academic misconduct for plagiarism. I want to offer you the chance to meet with me to discuss your paper. I am available to meet on campus tomorrow between 10:00-2:30 or Monday during the same time. Please be in touch immediately so we can discuss your situation.[/quote] To which my first reaction was "What the fuck?". I ended up e-mail the head of stduent services, asking how this was plagiarism. Of course, I didn't get an answer - but the canned response of "your professor really wants to meet with you". My professor did also not tell me how that actually constitutes plagiarism, having shared sources with Wikipedia. I sought those sources she's referring to (since they're ones I didn't retrieve from an Academic Database) in the first place since the first ones I had weren't academic enough or something. So I went and found 2 books and a newspaper article from 1916 (as a primary source) that said the same damn thing. It's absolute rubbish. But I'm meeting with her in the morning, so I'll see how that goes. I'm just really nervous since I've NEVER had anything like this happen to me before. I've always made sure to cite any claims I make, especially about stuff that's common knowledge to me (history based stuff, which that portion of my paper was on. I wrote about the Armenian Genocide and its denial, with the first portion of my paper being on some basic background information, all of which is sourced!) since I know its not common to everyone. [editline]21st December 2015[/editline] not to mention, as a result of this email I got worried and ran my paper through a few of those "plagiarism check" websites, and they all came up with nothing.

[QUOTE=bdd458;49360124]All of my friends (and other people I've asked) have thought this is bullshit, like my friend who just graduated said the same thing as you - he's been told on multiple occasions that Wikipedia is a great jumping off point and to explore the sources they use. This is the e-mail I got from her. To which my first reaction was "What the fuck?". I ended up e-mail the head of stduent services, asking how this was plagiarism. Of course, I didn't get an answer - but the canned response of "your professor really wants to meet with you". My professor did also not tell me how that actually constitutes plagiarism, having shared sources with Wikipedia. I sought those sources she's referring to (since they're ones I didn't retrieve from an Academic Database) in the first place since the first ones I had weren't academic enough or something. So I went and found 2 books and a newspaper article from 1916 (as a primary source) that said the same damn thing. It's absolute rubbish. But I'm meeting with her in the morning, so I'll see how that goes. I'm just really nervous since I've NEVER had anything like this happen to me before. I've always made sure to cite any claims I make, especially about stuff that's common knowledge to me (history based stuff, which that portion of my paper was on. I wrote about the Armenian Genocide and its denial, with the first portion of my paper being on some basic background information, all of which is sourced!) since I know its not common to everyone. [editline]21st December 2015[/editline] not to mention, as a result of this email I got worried and ran my paper through a few of those "plagiarism check" websites, and they all came up with nothing.[/QUOTE] Like even if you (god forbid) literally cited the Wikipedia page itself, you still cited it. I mean, the only thing I could think of off the top of my head is if you C+P'd without putting quotes, but that'd be pretty hard to miss considering you went through multiple sources. My adviser (who doubles as one of my professors for senior level course) actually told me about a professor in a separate department who was giving one of our major's students shit. There's only like 40 of us tops, so it's pretty tight-knit. He basically had to work with a separate department adviser, the student, and that professor to get their shit sorted. Honestly for your meeting, I can give you a couple bits of advice. Make sure you absolutely 100% have not plagiarized anything in any way. Even missed quotation marks which can happen. If your paper is rock solid then there's literally nothing that professor can do, even if she "files a formal report." Also, be confident when talking with your professors, they're also people and confidence reflects well. Finally, don't be afraid to be firm. One of my professors attempted to pass my mid-semester grade off as a "D" because she hadn't put in any grades aside from 2, and I was adamant and put my foot down about her getting my grades in on time. Ended the semester with an A in her class. Imo it's fairly unprofessional of the professor to call you out like that to begin with and not even explain why outside of "lucks on your side I didn't try to expel you, I'm offering you a chance to prove your innocence" regardless. Oh and if you're citing stuff from outside an academic database like 9/10 times they'll have specific examples of everything you can come across and how to cite it. My major almost always uses APA for official papers and Chicago-styling for smaller discussion posts, but we can use books, articles, or whatever we find online. Making you pick something from 1916 (what the hell :pcrepair:) to cite in your paper is obnoxious. If you ever need some good sources, and judging by your professor's attitude you probably will, [url="scholar.google.com"]Google Scholar[/url] is a good place to go.

Why in heavens name didnt you speak to his superior or you career advisor?

I emailed the head of stufent services, who are supposed to handle things like this and she just told me to talk to my professor, and did not answer my question of "how is that plagiarism". It's been an absolutely ridiculous weekend since I haven't gotten a single answer on that.

What if it's actually political hubbub because it seems that the Armenian Genocide is the topic at hand?

I wouldn't be surprised. The class is about Indeginous Peoples, and I asked her if I could write about it since I felt that it treaded the line of her definition of Indegineous Peoples, but she allowed me to write about it.

[QUOTE=bdd458;49361611]I emailed the head of stufent services, who are supposed to handle things like this and she just told me to talk to my professor, and did not answer my question of "how is that plagiarism". It's been an absolutely ridiculous weekend since I haven't gotten a single answer on that.[/QUOTE] No i dont mean those wretches. That people always reliquishes responsibility. I mean like teh coordinator of your career or a superior\head of history.

My ex just texted me, saying she's getting out of work in two hours and, she's available to meet and talk. I don't really have much to talk at this point but I'm going there anyway. Just need to see things for myself. Maybe she really meant it by telling me we would meet some other time, or on the other hand she's just doing it for the sake of wrapping up things with me fast so that she no longer needs to deal with me anymore. Either way I'm going to meet her later. Don't really have much to lose.

Didn't she do this a few weeks ago and you said "I don't want anything to do with her" but you went to meet her anyway and then a few hours later you were back together