Super Friendly Social and Love Advice v7 - Bro just do it, She prob likes you - General

[QUOTE=_Axel;49394653]Well she broke up with someone but it was two months ago or something, and they were only together for a few weeks. I guess it might have had an influence on her (she said something about not wanting anything of the sort right now). Not that I should still give a shit about that anyway.[/QUOTE] that's pretty much the same with me man dano think it's not something to worry about

[QUOTE=based;49394440]I haven't declared them and even still and yes, a car weighing less than 700 kilos is worth modding because it's power to weight is so high with anything done. And it looks cool[/QUOTE] It was a rhetorical question. Also if you crash you're buggered. [editline]26th December 2015[/editline] If you genuinely wanted to find a way around it you could.

[QUOTE=based;49394350]how old were you? exactly man fuck black boxes i am not having one you got the ST?[/QUOTE] 21 when I did pass, but even then I'd only been driving for about 6 months. there's a guy one of my workmates knows who has one and it sends out data saying that he's doing handbrake turns but in reality he just has a sharp turn into his driveway (sounds suspicious but considering most roads here are single track with houses in the middle of nowhere, it's believable). I've got the Zetec S, 125 bhp version. Good car yo, the only think I don't like is the 3 doors. But I can live with that. [editline]26th December 2015[/editline] [QUOTE=metallics;49394359](£700 a year isn't cheap)[/QUOTE] There's zero car crime where I live and I'm in the middle of nowhere, it'd only be more expensive in other places to be honest. Considering some insurance quotes I have had for my cars though, £700 wasn't too bad although I was disappointed with my quote this year since I thought it would plummet with 2 years no claims and a full year on my license. But split into monthly payments it's not all that bad, it comes out to about £60 or so. Ain't got shit on my stepdad's £150 or some shit. Same with my ex's mum's Kia, she paid about the same and has about 20 years no claims (though there are limits with some companies I know)

[QUOTE=dcalde78;49394891]21 when I did pass, but even then I'd only been driving for about 6 months. there's a guy one of my workmates knows who has one and it sends out data saying that he's doing handbrake turns but in reality he just has a sharp turn into his driveway (sounds suspicious but considering most roads here are single track with houses in the middle of nowhere, it's believable). I've got the Zetec S, 125 bhp version. Good car yo, the only think I don't like is the 3 doors. But I can live with that.[/QUOTE] ahh im 18 so : ( : ( : ( the zetec s now has a turbo? thats sick, the old one was naturally aspirated. still absolute jokes though.

Yeah, there's a few variants of the 1.0 Ecoboost engine now, a 100 bhp, 125 bhp and 145 bhp. Being 18 definitely won't help though, but there are a lot of other factors to consider with insurance. Where I live being able to drive is pretty much mandatory if you want to have a social life. The one opportunity I've had so far to move closer to town ended when my ex left me as I couldn't afford to move into the flat on my own which was a great shame. I gave my brother a lift back from town (which is 22 miles away) at half 2 in the morning the other week though and he's offered to give me a lift back sometime in return so that'll be good for the next time I go out. Though I have to save at the moment for a trip away in April to Glasgow and to have my alloys refurbished since they're kerbed to fuck and back. If anyone makes a trip to Glasgow I highly recommend the Cathouse. That place kicks ass.

Don't even know what else there is to say about my issues. Don't even know if anybody truly cares anymore. Don't know, at all. I guess I could go on about how I constantly feel like a waste of space, or that existence is pain, but I suppose there's no point. You all seem to have better to do than waste any remote effort me. Better people to talk to. People that can actually give what you want Guess I finally have no purpose now. No reason to attempt to reach out for help. You all seem to treat me like shit anyway, looking back. Maybe I am shit. Wouldn't doubt it

Do you guys remember that very important test I did a while ago? I had the maximum score on maths (just 37 in the entire country) And I was 4 points behind the best of the country overall I can choose any career I want in any University I want. I'm happy as shit [editline]26th December 2015[/editline] And most probably, it will be free.

I've got a date(?) tonight and I'm pretty excited. I haven't been out with someone in a while, and I think it's gonna be fun. Thing is, I'm not sure if she sees it as a date, but I could really go either way on it. I didn't ask her out so much because I have a crush on her or anything, but mostly because she seems pretty nice and she's like the only person on the planet besides me who hasn't seen Star Wars yet. I figure I should try going out with somebody that I'm not super infatuated and romantically worked up over, for once. Not so much "at stake" with me this way if she turns out to not be interested. But if she is interested, then great, we'll have some fun! Honestly I don't even know her that well yet, but I guess that's what nights like this are for. We've worked together for a month or so, but she's just there temporarily, and we hardly ever work the same days. Other girls at work have said we would make a cute couple (one girl even said she "ships" us) and that's part of what prodded me into giving it a shot.

[QUOTE=ilmon3y;49395609]Guess I finally have no purpose now. No reason to attempt to reach out for help. You all seem to treat me like shit anyway, looking back. Maybe I am shit. Wouldn't doubt it[/QUOTE] Just looking at your post history, most of your posts here read like blog updates. If you're upset that you're not getting a lot of responses from us, it's probably because you're just talking about yourself and not giving others any "in" to a conversation - no questions or direct requests for advice. Might be worth keeping that in mind for your real-life interactions. Nobody's deliberately ignoring you - we all read your posts but not every post is easy to reply to. As I've said here before, this is a forum where almost none of us know each other or speak to each other outside of this thread. Nobody knows who you are here and nobody really cares. I'm not sure what you mean by saying that the regulars here are better off talking to "people that can actually give [us] what we want" considering that, again, we're on an anonymous online forum. You mentioned in a previous post that you had started seeing a therapist. I hope you're continuing with that.

[QUOTE=ilmon3y;49395609]Don't even know what else there is to say about my issues. Don't even know if anybody truly cares anymore. Don't know, at all. I guess I could go on about how I constantly feel like a waste of space, or that existence is pain, but I suppose there's no point. You all seem to have better to do than waste any remote effort me. Better people to talk to. People that can actually give what you want Guess I finally have no purpose now. No reason to attempt to reach out for help. You all seem to treat me like shit anyway, looking back. Maybe I am shit. Wouldn't doubt it[/QUOTE] this is an advice thread and you don't ask us for any advice when you post. What the hell do you expect dude Let's look at your previous post [QUOTE=ilmon3y;49390902]My Skype went off on my phone earlier, which was weird, because I only have an account for work to ping stuff around the office, so I wasn't sure who'd be sending me a message while we're all on our break. At first, I thought it was one of the co-workers I hadn't been fully acquainted with, cuz I wasn't familiar with the name and I accepted all these friend requests day 1 on the job. Anyway, turns out it was someone random, but we seemed to be conversing pretty normal for about an hour which was refreshing since there wasn't much to go on. Talked about winter break, how slow things will probably be for the next couple of months, the holiday in general etc. Then they spring up a question. I removed them when I read "private webcam shows". I feel like I should maybe get out the habit of being 'open' to virtual strangers. It can be nice to practice my sociability without having to worry about presentation or body language (which I still suck it), but fuck; it's rare to just find someone that wants to be remotely genuine.[/QUOTE] What are you expecting us to say here? You haven't asked us a question, or even presented a situation which particularly requires advice. You have told us in this post: - You have a skype. - You got pinged, thought it was a coworker, accepted it, chatted a while then realised it was a scam account. I mean, that sucks I guess? but its not like you're in need of much help with the situation. This thread is an advice thread, not an unending wellspring of external validation/attention. From your post complaining at us the only thing I can say to you is see a therapist but as it seems you are already doing so there's not much here to discuss. I hope your therapy is working out??

[QUOTE=based;49394440]I haven't declared them and even still [/QUOTE] [I]Nice.[/I] Your car insurance will fuck you over if you get in an accident. [editline]27th December 2015[/editline] [QUOTE=ilmon3y;49395609]Don't even know what else there is to say about my issues. Don't even know if anybody truly cares anymore. Don't know, at all. I guess I could go on about how I constantly feel like a waste of space, or that existence is pain, but I suppose there's no point. You all seem to have better to do than waste any remote effort me. Better people to talk to. People that can actually give what you want Guess I finally have no purpose now. No reason to attempt to reach out for help. You all seem to treat me like shit anyway, looking back. Maybe I am shit. Wouldn't doubt it[/QUOTE] Dude you haven't even asked us any proper questions.

It's not. If it's a question you want me to prompt you with, then all I can ask is what the fuck can I do at this point? I have nobody. Everything is just wrong for me right now. The only valid thing I can think of is telling the truth to my doctor; that I genuinely don't won't to live. And what's after that? They'll throw me in a ward. I'll probably be sedated, and I won't be able to leave until god knows how long. On top of that, I'll most likely lose the one thing that's going for me; my job, they'll see that shit on my medical record. I'm just at a total lack of functionality. I don't know what I can say or do to make this very minute remotely bearable.

[QUOTE=ilmon3y;49396539]It's not. If it's a question you want me to prompt you with, then all I can ask is what the fuck can I do at this point? I have nobody. Everything is just wrong for me right now. The only valid thing I can think of is telling the truth to my doctor; that I genuinely don't won't to live. And what's after that? They'll throw me in a ward. I'll probably be sedated, and I won't be able to leave until god knows how long. On top of that, I'll most likely lose the one thing that's going for me; my job, they'll see that shit on my medical record. I'm just at a total lack of functionality. I don't know what I can say or do to make this very minute remotely bearable.[/QUOTE] in that case maybe the reason people aren't replying is because they don't feel qualified to provide good advice. I haven't had much experience with depression personally but my girlfriend is depressed and has had a record of being suicidal in the past and really the only advice I feel like I can give is to keep at it which is hardly good advice I recognise. I hope things work out for you dude [editline]27th December 2015[/editline] welp he posted a banme

[QUOTE=Cosa8888;49395691]Do you guys remember that very important test I did a while ago? I had the maximum score on maths (just 37 in the entire country) And I was 4 points behind the best of the country overall I can choose any career I want in any University I want. I'm happy as shit [editline]26th December 2015[/editline] And most probably, it will be free.[/QUOTE] Wait what Chile College Free Explain more to me because AFAIK that's somehow not real.

If someone gets really good results they can get enough scholarships to cover the cost.

[QUOTE=Oscar Lima Echo;49396498][I]Nice.[/I] Your car insurance will fuck you over if you get in an accident.[/QUOTE] Noo I meant when searching for quotes I didnt declare but obviously I would have to

[QUOTE=killerteacup;49396560]in that case maybe the reason people aren't replying is because they don't feel qualified to provide good advice. I haven't had much experience with depression personally but my girlfriend is depressed and has had a record of being suicidal in the past and really the only advice I feel like I can give is to keep at it which is hardly good advice I recognise. I hope things work out for you dude [editline]27th December 2015[/editline] welp he posted a banme[/QUOTE] hopefully means he'll have more reason to get actual help if there was anything this thread could've done for the guy this wouldn't have been like the 10th time we discuss the same thing

:snip:

[QUOTE=Sojourner;49400981] I just don't want to fuck this up anymore than I have already. ;_; sorry if I rambled[/QUOTE] Email, dooooooooooo it!

been out for the past two days with friends feel really good now

[QUOTE=Sojourner;49400981][URL="https://facepunch.com/showthread.php?t=1482859&p=49168144#post49168144"]I posted about this before and got great advice[/URL] but I'm a total idiot and need help again. Basically two months ago the girl I like, who is very shy and reserved, found out I like her and I've been struggling with myself ever since. After she found out she started leaving her room more often and loitering in the lobby I passed through M/W/F for my 9AM. She'd done it before on occasion but it became consistent and we made a lot of awkward eye contact. The Monday before Thanksgiving break I worked up the courage to talk to her. She said she didn't know my name but seemed calm, positive, and even asked questions. I was extremely nervous and even forgot to tell her my name. I said I was late and ran off. After that I was so embarrassed I couldn't face her. Attendance wasn't mandatory and I didn't attend the lectures for the first week and a 1/2 after break. I know, I know, it's pathetic. On the second Friday I got up, walked to class... but couldn't bring myself to go inside. I just sat on a bench somewhat hidden by a bush as self-punishment. 20 mins after 9 I heard what sounded like someone fall over. I look back and see no one, just the bush. I turn around and the next thing I know, she walks by glued to her phone. That was the last week of regular classes. The lobby was dead next week. She didn't show up. I don't know if she was avoiding me or her class ended or what. We caught glimpses of each other at random extremely inconvenient times, and she always looked startled. Now it's winter break and idk what to do. I sent her a friend request on Facebook but she appears to have made the account and forgot about it (4 friends, no content, etc.). Apart from FB [I]she doesn't appear to exist[/I], so Im left with two choices: a. wait 25 days for school to pick up again and try to catch her sometime, which will be hard because 1. im an idiot and 2. our schedules are going to be ultra different b. send a "hey" message to her school email account basically saying "we talked before, didn't tell you my name, but it'd be cool if we could talk somehow but if not that's cool" I just don't want to fuck this up anymore than I have already. ;_; sorry if I rambled[/QUOTE] Do you have a friend who knows her number?

I would say an e-mail wouldn't hurt, but that's sort of going on the off chance that she even checks it. I never check my school e-mail lol.

:snip:

So they were talking about wanting to be in a relationship over in the Sex, Girlfriends and Shit thread and I wanted to ask a question but felt it fit better in this thread: [QUOTE=killerteacup;49402433]tbh the time when you feel most like you 'need' a relationship is generally the time you shouldnt be in one[/QUOTE] [QUOTE=Triot;49402440]This is a bad mindset. You shouldn't be getting into relationships just because you feel you need to be in one. You should sort out your emotional baggage first before you start dating others again.[/QUOTE] So, like, how exactly do you cope with being so lonely, and what are you supposed to be doing to get to a place where you're ready for a relationship? How would you know you're ready? Like, I'm personally feeling extremely lonely and I really wish I could have someone to, well, be close to. But I know I'm not in a place where I should be in a relationship. I KNOW this and I'm kind of a mess but it's all I can even think about sometimes, how lonely I feel. How am I supposed to improve myself to a point where I can have that, or how am I supposed to figure it out? I feel like I've just been lost and blindly stumbling around over my personal shit without anything getting better for years and it more or less ruined my previous relationship. Now all I want is to find someone else but still nothing has changed, and I don't want to just walk into another person's life with all this shit hanging over my shoulders. Especially when I seem to have this thought in the back of my head like the other person is going to be able to help 'fix' me, when I know that's something I need to do myself. I guess I'm just looking for some guidance on how one 'sorts out' their emotional baggage and stuff. I've been stuck in the same place for a long time and while I'm seeing a doctor about some stuff and I'm starting to take meds I don't really feel confident that it will help much. It hasn't thus far.

You don't need a romantic partner to feel less lonely. Part of the issue with that is that romantic relationships change much more rapidly than non-romantic ones - if your self-esteem is dependent on a partner then your self-esteem is going to be constantly changing. Focus on developing friendships or relationships with your family. A group of ~20 year olds on an online forum aren't going to have better advice for you than a trained professional. If therapy isn't working out for you, the best advice anyone here can give is to see a different therapist.

[QUOTE=riku2211;49403858]So they were talking about wanting to be in a relationship over in the Sex, Girlfriends and Shit thread and I wanted to ask a question but felt it fit better in this thread: So, like, how exactly do you cope with being so lonely, and what are you supposed to be doing to get to a place where you're ready for a relationship? How would you know you're ready? Like, I'm personally feeling extremely lonely and I really wish I could have someone to, well, be close to. But I know I'm not in a place where I should be in a relationship. I KNOW this and I'm kind of a mess but it's all I can even think about sometimes, how lonely I feel. How am I supposed to improve myself to a point where I can have that, or how am I supposed to figure it out? I feel like I've just been lost and blindly stumbling around over my personal shit without anything getting better for years and it more or less ruined my previous relationship. Now all I want is to find someone else but still nothing has changed, and I don't want to just walk into another person's life with all this shit hanging over my shoulders. Especially when I seem to have this thought in the back of my head like the other person is going to be able to help 'fix' me, when I know that's something I need to do myself. I guess I'm just looking for some guidance on how one 'sorts out' their emotional baggage and stuff. I've been stuck in the same place for a long time and while I'm seeing a doctor about some stuff and I'm starting to take meds I don't really feel confident that it will help much. It hasn't thus far.[/QUOTE] Seeing a doctor and taking meds and suchlike takes time, and unfortunately you can't just do it and expect it to magically work straight away - you need to put effort in to start seeing results and just showing up for an appointment is only the start. If you're seeing a psychologist and they set you stuff to do at home for example you need to jump on that shit. If it's not working because of the therapist, uproot and see a different one. Therapists are people so you need to find the match - that's a relationship in and of itself. My philosophy is that you shouldn't be in a relationship if you believe that it will serve as a remedy for your problems. If you consciously intend, or believe you stand risk of treating your partner like a crutch for problems that include low self-esteem, loneliness, boredom or depression, then you shouldn't be in a relationship until you can stand on your own. However, if you do have mental issues, but find that you are strong enough to work through and cope with them without relying on your partner for more than occasional support, then all power to you. Unfortunately the cruel irony is that the biggest turnoff for dating is desperation. If you're really really lonely and sad about being lonely it can negatively affect your behaviour around potential partners and the behaviour it tends to bring out is just hugely not attractive. Also, loneliness in relation to not having a romantic partner is a pretty clear sign you're beginning to base your self-esteem on romantic relationships. Try not to do that. Focus on friends, hobbies, and skills instead. They are internal and much more reliable. As for sorting out emotional baggage, I will say from experience that emotional baggage doesn't just disappear - but you can sort it out by developing strong, robust ways of recognising and coping with when your emotional baggage starts to get you down. So long as you're able to cope adequately, function at a high capacity and you have ways of bouncing back, then you're already winning. [editline]28th December 2015[/editline] [QUOTE=Sojourner;49402673] Oh my god. I hadn't thought of that. I... probably do. I'm on decent terms with her ex-roommate. We both moved out on the same day, even. She's really nice but her home life is apparently a mess and she dropped out due to depression. I do have her on Facebook though and we had a nice conversation once. She might have it. It's just... we had a lot in common but I usually avoided her because I didn't know how to separate the two. I still don't. I don't want her to feel like I've been/am using her to get to my crush. :cry: And if she does have it and she does give it to me, I don't want to make my crush feel... trapped? Like, if she isn't interested, she'd have to live knowing that the guy with the funny haircut just tracked down her phone number.[/QUOTE] This sort of situational advice is hard to give - people tend to follow it like a step by step guide. I'll give it a go but just bear in mind that I don't know you, I don't know her, and I don't know your friend, so you need to look at the advice critically before going ahead with it Awkward situations are best approached with directness. If you honestly think asking for this person's number would annoy your ex-roommate, tell her you are sorry to ask her but you lost contact with your crush and you guys had a good conversation that you'd like to keep up with. In those situations, I start the conversation by asking for the favour first, but keep talking to her after and ask her questions about herself - mostly because I think its better than just leaving it, and its HUGELY better than talking to her before the favour. As for making the crush feel trapped, maybe suggest to this ex-roommate that she ask your crush if its okay to hand over the number before she does it. Just be like "but I don't want to make her feel trapped so if she doesn't want to give me her number that's fine too". Once you get it, just text her a bit, try to gauge the signs, and if she doesn't seem keen on texting you, don't make it awkward by continuing to talk to her.

I understand. Thank you.

For a little while now I have been doing a great job at focusing on my own stuff instead of thinking of relationships but suddenly this morning the "I'm so lonely" feeling that I was suppressing successfully for months just randomly came back, very strong too, with no cause that I can think of.

Not sure if that's the right thread for it but I wanted to know if the [url=http://www.okcupid.com/profile/Axel6430?cf=regular]OKC profile[/url] I set up was decent. I'm not really used to those dating sites type things. [editline]28th December 2015[/editline] [QUOTE=Daniel Smith;49404750]For a little while now I have been doing a great job at focusing on my own stuff instead of thinking of relationships but suddenly this morning the "I'm so lonely" feeling that I was suppressing successfully for months just randomly came back, very strong too, with no cause that I can think of.[/QUOTE] Do you have a group of friends that you could hang out with? Or perhaps a hobby, an activity where you could go out and meet new people? I found that being socially active, even not in a romantic way, could help alleviate this urge to find someone to have a relationship with.

[QUOTE=_Axel;49405086]Not sure if that's the right thread for it but I wanted to know if the [url=http://www.okcupid.com/profile/Axel6430?cf=regular]OKC profile[/url] I set up was decent. I'm not really used to those dating sites type things.[/QUOTE] if i don't see the words "mayonnaise" and "hula hoop" within the first two sentences it's a bad profile