Super Friendly Social and Love Advice v7 - Bro just do it, She prob likes you

[E = MC Hammer]

happy new year

[Sojourner]

:snip:

[killerteacup]

[QUOTE=Sojourner;49432102]Happy New Year to you too, E=MC. :)
And to everyone else. <3

I ended up emailing the girl I mentioned a few pages ago. Decided it would be best if I didn't ask around for her number. Still only have her school email account, but hey, at least it's something. It's been a few days now and the wait has been really nerve-wracking, but expected. I'm remaining hopeful.[/QUOTE]

So basically its school break and you emailed her school email account?? arent you going to spend your entire holidays shitting bricks even when she never receives the email because who checks their school email during holidays

[Sojourner]

:snip:

[based]

Happy new year everyone

I'm still drunk from last night

[Triot]

[QUOTE=Sojourner;49432198]Hopefully she'll take a short glance at it sometime next week when housing kicks into gear.[/QUOTE]

That's kind of hoping if she will even login to her school email address when she returns.
I practically never checked my school email since the only things I've ever received was just school related spam.

[AxeI]

Got in a bit of a depressive episode last night.
Since I got rejected by that girl I've not been very active romantically and I'm away from most of my friends for the holidays, was particularly tough for New Years Eve since a lot of them stayed near Paris and planned a nice party (which I've been invited to but obviously couldn't come to). The night after NYE I ended up looking through texts and pictures of my ex like a fucking idiot and overall feeling miserable.
I feel like the way she broke up with me and generally lied to me about stuff was abusive and I want her to realize that, on top of that I'm concerned about never meeting anybody who has the same effect on me as she did. I just feel kind of numb.

[OscarLimaEcho]

Why haven't you deleted that shit ages ago? It's not like looking at it will ever make you feel better about your situation.

[Sojourner]

:snip:

[AxeI]

[QUOTE=Oscar Lima Echo;49434099]Why haven't you deleted that shit ages ago? It's not like looking at it will ever make you feel better about your situation.[/QUOTE]
Because I'm a fucking idiot who needs it as reassurance that I'm even worth loving.

[editline]1st January 2016[/editline]

[QUOTE=Sojourner;49434162]I get it. I understand that the odds are extremely low. I understood this before I committed to it, and it was even posted in the thread;

...

I only know one person who [I]might[/I] have her number and that person just dropped out of school because she is currently dealing with family drama and is emotionally unstable, suffering from chronic depression and having anxiety attacks. afaik life is getting better for her but I have refrained from asking if she could get me in contact with the other girl out of respect for her.

That left me with two options: wait weeks without doing anything or wait weeks with the unlikely possibility of [I]something[/I].
At least there's a [I]possibility[/I], right? As Pascall said, "it wouldn't hurt." And it's not like I wrote her some creepy love poem. Sure I didn't account for the nervousness I'd feel but I can deal with it.
Was that really such a bad philosophy? :/

If not asking the person I know that might have her number was a decision you think I should revisit, please tell me.[/QUOTE]
Don't sweat it, an email is better than nothing and asking someone in such a situation for a number she may not have is probably not worth it. I didn't follow the whole story but you'll see her again once the holidays are over, right?

[Trooth]

[QUOTE=Sojourner;49432198]I have some parties to attend, music to write, Frank Herbert's[I] Dune[/I], and a ton of educational videos to watch.[/QUOTE]

Wait

Reading Dune in [i]winter?[/i]

[vlad]

I'm getting really confused about this girl. the girl I first developed a crush on who had been a long time friend has gotten a lot closer again after she realized that another girl had become my crush. she never knew for sure that I liked her, but she was getting suspicious but all of that went away since I actually started crushing on someone else and she realized and knew. as a result, she has gotten a lot closer again.

getting close is okay, but I find that she has gotten a little too close from her end? the last 6 days she has slept over at my place, celebrated new years eve with me, and so on. I spent the night of christmas eve with her, and I think we were together the day before that again too. so 8 days in a row with 6 days where we've been together all day? I'm getting really confused as to what she wants as well, since she's pretty physical as well but at the same time she's not. sometimes she "feet flirts" with me in the couch, rests her legs on me, sits pretty close, rests her head in my lap, and in general seems to seek a lot of physical contact. the other day she even told me to grab her ass and squeeze it so I could feel how fat it was. she even felt it was appropriate to show me her shaved pubes, though we had been drinking

then suddenly she starts sitting far away, chooses to sit with a person between us, not sit in the same area as me, and so on. its really confusing since she keeps alternating. she also doesn't want to share bed for sleep, which I can sort of understand but she doesn't seem like the type who finds it uncomfortable. I do it with everyone, she's the only one who chooses not to and I can respect that of course.

I don't remember when, but I figured I'd see what would happen if I were to seek physical contact. to begin with I just laid down with my legs resting in her lap, and she didn't react much to that but we didn't sit for very long either. another time I decided to rest my legs next to her since she was sitting with her legs in the couch so I couldn't rest them on her, but after some time I noticed that she found it uncomfortable and decided to sit on the couch arm lean. I asked if I should move my feet, but she said no. I decided not to move, and she changed seating completely and went to a chair. I laid there for some time and figured I should move again to see what happens, so I moved. in under 5 minutes, she was back. so clearly she finds it uncomfortable that I seek physical contact, but it's okay when she does it.

my focus still remains on the girl I met recently since we get along a lot better, but it's very easy to get sexually frustrated over all of this

[OscarLimaEcho]

Ehhhh.
Stop trying to analyze it, man. Those mental gymnastics aren't helping you.

Just ask her out.

[Hilton]

Sometimes I fucking hate my friends and I just want to fucking punch him in his stupid fucking face enough that that stupid fucking pussys face bleeds and keep hitting it until the fucking pussy knows not to be a god damn bitch to me for no reason and fucking walk away from me after being a bitch fuck that kid.

Sorry I don't know where to put this and its not super friendly but its social I think

[OscarLimaEcho]

[QUOTE=Hilton;49438270]Sometimes I fucking hate my friends and I just want to fucking punch him in his stupid fucking face enough that that stupid fucking pussys face bleeds and keep hitting it until the fucking pussy knows not to be a god damn bitch to me for no reason and fucking walk away from me after being a bitch fuck that kid.

Sorry I don't know where to put this and its not super friendly but its social I think[/QUOTE]

OK.
I prescribe you 1 new friend and 5 hours of anger management.

If you're taking shit from him to the point you want to get violent, you're probably being "a pussy" by not telling him about it or you don't talk/act likewise back.

[ignhelper]

So a friend told me she initially was going to LA with a friend, because he asked her out. But he friendzoned her by saying no, and reason being that its a school trip, and if they get spotted by the teacher, the university might stop overseas trips. So she tells me this:
[t]http://i.imgur.com/ydPqk03.jpg[/t]

She said I'll be in the same hotel room, and there will be two separate beds. But for 4 days.

But, she also said this after:
[t]http://i.imgur.com/HQsSQtk.jpg[/t]

See, I can't tell if she's showing interest, or I am getting friendzoned in the shortest time.

I am afraid to ask her because the last thing I will want, is to end up being awkward and losing a friend. I feel its better if I ask in person

[Cricket50]

[QUOTE=Sojourner;49432102]
I ended up emailing the girl I mentioned a few pages ago.[/QUOTE]

for real man nobody emails anybody these days just add her on facebook.

[QUOTE=Hilton;49438270]Sometimes I fucking hate my friends and I just want to fucking punch him in his stupid fucking face enough that that stupid fucking pussys face bleeds and keep hitting it until the fucking pussy knows not to be a god damn bitch to me for no reason and fucking walk away from me after being a bitch fuck that kid.[/QUOTE]

if a 'friend' makes you feel that way they aint your friend

[based]

I love getting out and doing stuff

It makes me feel more confident and I can see myself getting happier after each time. No one should isolate themselves if they're anything like me its not good for you.

[meharryp]

[QUOTE=based;49439538]I love getting out and doing stuff

It makes me feel more confident and I can see myself getting happier after each time. No one should isolate themselves if they're anything like me its not good for you.[/QUOTE]

I used to think getting out would make me feel worse lol, after making an effort and going out more I'm the happiest I've been in a long time

[vlad]

[QUOTE=Oscar Lima Echo;49437881]Ehhhh.
Stop trying to analyze it, man. Those mental gymnastics aren't helping you.

Just ask her out.[/QUOTE]

its just that the girl I posted about isn't the girl I want to ask out, she's the one it would be terrible to form a relationship with.

the girl I actually want to ask out keeps disappearing. on christmas eve, she suddenly disappeared for 4 days until she popped up again. we had to eventually contact her parents just to get in contact with her. then our common friend (who happens to be the girl I posted about) sent her a message saying I was confused over her feelings for me without me knowing about it before sending, but she replied saying that she just had a rough period, that she wasn't herself and that she liked me a lot in that way still. so the next day, I asked how she was feeling (tuesday this week) and if she wanted to hang out with us. she wasn't feeling well after her short isolation, so she said no.

then I didn't speak with her until new years eve, wished her a happy new year, and now she has been gone for over a day again. I asked yesterday if she wanted to do something, but she never came online. sent a message today that it would be great if she could send me a message once she sees mine since I wanted to hang out with her and felt that it was ages since last time. its 2 weeks tomorrow since I last saw her and it's not easy to hang out with her since she has been busy when I've asked and the other times she just hasn't been available to read my messages since she's isolating herself.

[Zar]

[QUOTE=based;49439538]I love getting out and doing stuff

It makes me feel more confident and I can see myself getting happier after each time. No one should isolate themselves if they're anything like me its not good for you.[/QUOTE]

i say yes to almost everything now, just forced myself in the beginning, now it's hard for me to say no to things haha. really a lot of fun.

[editline]2nd January 2016[/editline]

also meet a lot of new sweet people

[killerteacup]

[QUOTE=Ignhelper;49439125]So a friend told me she initially was going to LA with a friend, because he asked her out. But he friendzoned her by saying no, and reason being that its a school trip, and if they get spotted by the teacher, the university might stop overseas trips. So she tells me this:
[t]http://i.imgur.com/ydPqk03.jpg[/t]

She said I'll be in the same hotel room, and there will be two separate beds. But for 4 days.

But, she also said this after:
[t]http://i.imgur.com/HQsSQtk.jpg[/t]

See, I can't tell if she's showing interest, or I am getting friendzoned in the shortest time.

I am afraid to ask her because the last thing I will want, is to end up being awkward and losing a friend. I feel its better if I ask in person[/QUOTE]

She's being weird but I'm pretty sure the message are her way of saying it's only friends

[editline]3rd January 2016[/editline]

Could be wrong though how well do you know this person

[editline]3rd January 2016[/editline]

[QUOTE=PredGD;49439583]its just that the girl I posted about isn't the girl I want to ask out, she's the one it would be terrible to form a relationship with.

the girl I actually want to ask out keeps disappearing. on christmas eve, she suddenly disappeared for 4 days until she popped up again. we had to eventually contact her parents just to get in contact with her. then our common friend (who happens to be the girl I posted about) sent her a message saying I was confused over her feelings for me without me knowing about it before sending, but she replied saying that she just had a rough period, that she wasn't herself and that she liked me a lot in that way still. so the next day, I asked how she was feeling (tuesday this week) and if she wanted to hang out with us. she wasn't feeling well after her short isolation, so she said no.

then I didn't speak with her until new years eve, wished her a happy new year, and now she has been gone for over a day again. I asked yesterday if she wanted to do something, but she never came online. sent a message today that it would be great if she could send me a message once she sees mine since I wanted to hang out with her and felt that it was ages since last time. its 2 weeks tomorrow since I last saw her and it's not easy to hang out with her since she has been busy when I've asked and the other times she just hasn't been available to read my messages since she's isolating herself.[/QUOTE]

Stop pressuring her to talk and hang out man. Be there when she needs you but don't bug her too much. You've phrased your post as if there were these long periods between Christmas and new years that you guys didn't talk but what are they, a day at most? There's literally six days between Christmas and new years and even if she wasn't isolating herself it would be totally acceptable not to talk to you for that long even if she likes you

Stop overthinking everything about it

[Behemoth_PT]

[QUOTE=Ignhelper;49439125]So a friend told me she initially was going to LA with a friend, because he asked her out. But he friendzoned her by saying no, and reason being that its a school trip, and if they get spotted by the teacher, the university might stop overseas trips. So she tells me this:
[t]http://i.imgur.com/ydPqk03.jpg[/t]

She said I'll be in the same hotel room, and there will be two separate beds. But for 4 days.

But, she also said this after:
[t]http://i.imgur.com/HQsSQtk.jpg[/t]

See, I can't tell if she's showing interest, or I am getting friendzoned in the shortest time.

I am afraid to ask her because the last thing I will want, is to end up being awkward and losing a friend. I feel its better if I ask in person[/QUOTE]

She's not being weird. She just wants a friend to travel with. A lot of people feel insecure about traveling alone. Don't ask her anything. It's two separate beds, l think she already gave you the hint that you're traveling as friends.

Also. If you two actually do anything. Who will know? Do teachers barge in hotel rooms now?

[vlad]

[QUOTE=killerteacup;49439669]
Stop pressuring her to talk and hang out man. Be there when she needs you but don't bug her too much. You've phrased your post as if there were these long periods between Christmas and new years that you guys didn't talk but what are they, a day at most? There's literally six days between Christmas and new years and even if she wasn't isolating herself it would be totally acceptable not to talk to you for that long even if she likes you

Stop overthinking everything about it[/QUOTE]

I'm just scared that the crush will die down since we haven't seen each other in so long, and what if she's used to me taking the initiative and starts over thinking herself if I suddenly wait for her to initiate a conversation for once? I've yet to see her initiate it, maybe I should just stop starting conversations with her and see what happens? I'm not getting a lot of signals back I feel, all I can work with is that she tells friends of her that she likes me, but she never shows that for me.

when I say I don't want to pressure her, bug her, and so on to hang out, people say "but you gotta ask man!! either she says yes or no", but as soon as I start asking I gotta chill out apparently so I'm not sure how to proceed now. I think I've been straight forward with asking her to hang out 3 times, all pretty close to each other (which is now recently). she ignored one of them, but that's because she hasn't been active on facebook at all so it's not "ignored", but she hasn't seen it. then there's the last message I mentioned in the post above which she also has yet to see.

I'm not sure how to go about this anymore. I don't want this to take too long since I'm concerned it'll just get weird and awkward if it drags out so maybe I'm feeling a little stressed to reach an arbitrary dead line. should I just stop initiating conversations with her and see if she sends me a message at all at some point?

[Dilbert]

[QUOTE=PredGD;49439781]I'm just scared that the crush will die down since we haven't seen each other in so long, and what if she's used to me taking the initiative and starts over thinking herself if I suddenly wait for her to initiate a conversation for once? I've yet to see her initiate it, maybe I should just stop starting conversations with her and see what happens? I'm not getting a lot of signals back I feel, all I can work with is that she tells friends of her that she likes me, but she never shows that for me.

when I say I don't want to pressure her, bug her, and so on to hang out, people say "but you gotta ask man!! either she says yes or no", but as soon as I start asking I gotta chill out apparently so I'm not sure how to proceed now. I think I've been straight forward with asking her to hang out 3 times, all pretty close to each other (which is now recently). she ignored one of them, but that's because she hasn't been active on facebook at all so it's not "ignored", but she hasn't seen it. then there's the last message I mentioned in the post above which she also has yet to see.

I'm not sure how to go about this anymore. I don't want this to take too long since I'm concerned it'll just get weird and awkward if it drags out so maybe I'm feeling a little stressed to reach an arbitrary dead line. should I just stop initiating conversations with her and see if she sends me a message at all at some point?[/QUOTE]

Every post I've ever seen you write is paragraphs long. Chill out.

[killerteacup]

[QUOTE=PredGD;49439781]I'm just scared that the crush will die down since we haven't seen each other in so long, and what if she's used to me taking the initiative and starts over thinking herself if I suddenly wait for her to initiate a conversation for once? I've yet to see her initiate it, maybe I should just stop starting conversations with her and see what happens? I'm not getting a lot of signals back I feel, all I can work with is that she tells friends of her that she likes me, but she never shows that for me.

when I say I don't want to pressure her, bug her, and so on to hang out, people say "but you gotta ask man!! either she says yes or no", but as soon as I start asking I gotta chill out apparently so I'm not sure how to proceed now. I think I've been straight forward with asking her to hang out 3 times, all pretty close to each other (which is now recently). she ignored one of them, but that's because she hasn't been active on facebook at all so it's not "ignored", but she hasn't seen it. then there's the last message I mentioned in the post above which she also has yet to see.

I'm not sure how to go about this anymore. I don't want this to take too long since I'm concerned it'll just get weird and awkward if it drags out so maybe I'm feeling a little stressed to reach an arbitrary dead line. should I just stop initiating conversations with her and see if she sends me a message at all at some point?[/QUOTE]

I think you should take a breath

[vlad]

[QUOTE=killerteacup;49439842]I think you should take a breath[/QUOTE]

I don't think I'm stressed, I don't feel stressed, I just feel this need to have an overview of my relations to others and I don't trust my own judgement so I end up posting a lot of details to hopefully get a good answer to my situation. I feel its nice to hear other opinions before I go on with anything

I don't think taking a breath would really help since in the end, I'm still pretty clueless as to what I think would be the best decision to make

[Trooth]

[QUOTE=Ignhelper;49439125]So a friend told me she initially was going to LA with a friend, because he asked her out. But he friendzoned her by saying no, and reason being that its a school trip, and if they get spotted by the teacher, the university might stop overseas trips. So she tells me this:
[t]http://i.imgur.com/ydPqk03.jpg[/t]

She said I'll be in the same hotel room, and there will be two separate beds. But for 4 days.

But, she also said this after:
[t]http://i.imgur.com/HQsSQtk.jpg[/t]

See, I can't tell if she's showing interest, or I am getting friendzoned in the shortest time.

I am afraid to ask her because the last thing I will want, is to end up being awkward and losing a friend. I feel its better if I ask in person[/QUOTE]

I think if you go into this expecting anything more than platonic, you're 99% likely to come out disappointed.

I mean there are all kinds of implications she could leave in the air in asking you to share a room with her, but mentioning that you'll have separate beds and all that shoots those implications down. At least that's how it looks to me.

Don't spend a bunch of money on a plane ticket unless you're totally fine with a friends-only visit. Don't go pre-emptively convincing yourself it'd be more.

[Dilbert]

[QUOTE=RenegadeCop;49440013]I would personally not spend a plane-ticket's worth of money on visiting a friend for 4 days.

I mean damn, UK to LA? Must be at least 400 dollars. It'd have to be a lifelong friend from my childhood who I regularly talk to.[/QUOTE]

I've always thought of driving the 8 hours to you and I'm sure a trip to and back would be worth about a plane ticket. Shame you don't share the same feelings towards me. :(

[Behemoth_PT]

[QUOTE=PredGD;49439917]I don't think I'm stressed, I don't feel stressed, I just feel this need to have an overview of my relations to others and I don't trust my own judgement so I end up posting a lot of details to hopefully get a good answer to my situation. I feel its nice to hear other opinions before I go on with anything

I don't think taking a breath would really help since in the end, I'm still pretty clueless as to what I think would be the best decision to make[/QUOTE]
The problem of not trusting your own judgement is because you haven't stopped to think a little about the situation. What's rational and what's coming out as a reaction to fear of losing this person.
Remove yourself from that fear. It pretty much means that you're giving this girl a lot of control over your feelings.

She was probably getting physical to see if you would play along. But since she felt your discomfort and distance, she backed off.

From what l got out of it she waited for you and got nothing from you she just gave up and moved on. Now that she's actually quit being obvious around you, you felt it and it's making you feel uncomfortable. And somehow you seem surprised.
I think you've raised this subject before with this girl here and we told you to be honest with her and tell her how you feel. She can't read your mind. And you've been bouncing back and forth between her and someone who you rarely set up your eyes upon.
She just gave up. It's frustrating for her. Now you can either tell her how you feel, if you feel anything (there might still be a chance) or else let her go, cause there's nothing we can do to fix a damaged pride here.

[editline]2nd January 2016[/editline]

[QUOTE=RenegadeCop;49440013]I would personally not spend a plane-ticket's worth of money on visiting a friend for 4 days.

I mean damn, UK to LA? Must be at least 400 dollars. It'd have to be a lifelong friend from my childhood who I regularly talk to.[/QUOTE]

I would totally go though. I love travelling, and if l have a chance to do it with a buddy abroad, l'm not even wasting my time asking myself "how deep is our love.".

I even "pretended" to be a devout Catholic to infiltrate myself in a pilgrimage to The Holy Land because it was cheaper that way. Fucking worth it. Got to see Petra and float my arse in the Dead Sea.

That's the kind of cheap whore l am. :v: