Super Friendly Social and Love Advice v7 - Bro just do it, She prob likes you - General

Got a really good feeling with a tinder match. I got her number and we've been texting for hours, and we already arranged a date for next Saturday!

[QUOTE=The bird Man;49454451]What's the best places to go to during dates. The cinema is pretty bland because there's no conversation except on the dinner before or after. [editline]4th January 2016[/editline] [B]Remember that a lot of girls like to control you and have your full attention.[/B] If I were you I wouldn't wait for her to tell you when, and where the next time is going to be. Be straight up and tell her yourself. If she says friday you say tuesday, and so on. She may say she's going to a meeting or having a meetup with her friend(s), and that's [B]not[/B] because she don't like you, remember that. Mark your ground, and be solid. [B]From my experience they seem to like it when the guy makes the descisions, because they don't like options.[/B][/QUOTE] Right, nothing contradicting there.

[QUOTE=The bird Man;49454451]What's the best places to go to during dates. The cinema is pretty bland because there's no conversation except on the dinner before or after. [editline]4th January 2016[/editline] Remember that a lot of girls like to control you and have your full attention. If I were you I wouldn't wait for her to tell you when, and where the next time is going to be. Be straight up and tell her yourself. If she says friday you say tuesday, and so on. She may say she's going to a meeting or having a meetup with her friend(s), and that's [B]not[/B] because she don't like you, remember that. Mark your ground, and be solid. From my experience they seem to like it when the guy makes the descisions, because they don't like options.[/QUOTE] Baaad idea

I've had anxiety attacks over someone I've loved for almost a year now, but they've gotten progressively worse. I sent them a long message about what's been going on between us, and they have yet to reply. If they turn me down, I don't know what I'll do, but at this point I don't even fucking care. I can't keep living like this.

It's too much of a long and complex story. I am obsessed because there is a serious lack of communication between the two of us, and I always fear the worst when that happens. [editline]5th January 2016[/editline] This person saved my life. Literally. [editline]5th January 2016[/editline] Update: things are fine, we talked about it and nothing bad came out of it. I'm feeling a lot better now, and the anxiety is completely gone. I was just worrying too much :l

That doesn't sound fine at all. You got some issues you really need to work on.

I got an internship at this company and it's just about to wrap up because the next semester is starting. They want to keep me because they like my work or something silly like that, so I'll be working from home and showing up to work on fridays every week. I've never asked a girl on a date before and right now I've reached a point where I have no fears about approaching it. I'm thinking this saturday and if I fuck this up I doubt this will create any problems. we've been texting a lot and she fed me almost all of the questions from this article word for word so i'm assuming that's a huge hint: [url]http://www.businessinsider.com/questions-psychologist-says-can-make-you-fall-in-love-2015-1[/url] so should i just pull the trigger tomorrow

[QUOTE=TheDrunkenOne;49457082]It's too much of a long and complex story. I am obsessed because there is a serious lack of communication between the two of us, and I always fear the worst when that happens. [editline]5th January 2016[/editline] This person saved my life. Literally. [editline]5th January 2016[/editline] Update: things are fine, we talked about it and nothing bad came out of it. I'm feeling a lot better now, and the anxiety is completely gone. I was just worrying too much :l[/QUOTE] You're depositing your well being entirely in the hands of another person. Think about that for a second.

[QUOTE=RenegadeCop;49458424]Define your anxiety, what exactly are you anxious about?[/QUOTE] I care deeply about this person, and there was a serious lack of communication between us, so I kept thinking the worst whenever they didn't reply. [QUOTE=Behemoth_PT;49460377]You're depositing your well being entirely in the hands of another person. Think about that for a second.[/QUOTE] I'm well aware of this, but I only feel at ease when I'm with them. This person just means the world to me, and if I've been trying to get out of this shitty situation I'm currently in it's simply because of them, so I could make them happy. Like I said, I'm not obsessed. I am overly concerned, and I learned to control that - I know they have their own stuff to attend. Look, we love each other. We both want to be together, and we both have our struggles. I know this will work out, and they give me the strength to believe it.

"there goes 4 years" are you implying that those years are wasted?

[QUOTE=Zar;49461282]"there goes 4 years" are you implying that those years are wasted?[/QUOTE] I guess these 4 years are wasted now since they broke up?

A long relationship like that doesn't have to be a waste. That's a lot of valuable experience.

[QUOTE=RenegadeCop;49461348]What do you mean by lack of communication? Like what happened[/QUOTE] :snip:

[QUOTE=RenegadeCop;49461399]Yeah but what happened, events and times and etc.[/QUOTE] It's mostly because of time zones and bad sleep patterns, so we always have little time where the both of us are online at a decent time. I never know when to message them, so I'm always worried about whether or not I'm disturbing them, so we basically end up communicating very little at times.

Like I said, I care so much for them I always fear the worst even when there's nothing to worry about. Maybe because we can't keep in touch very often.

[QUOTE=Bucketboy;49461336]I guess these 4 years are wasted now since they broke up?[/QUOTE] why would they be wasted? i mean like, good n bad times is how any year goes? he probably spent those 4 years like he would single, by studying or something along those lines for example, he was just in a relationship too. not to try and simplify it, more complex than that probably. just how i see it.

[QUOTE=TheDrunkenOne;49461114] I'm well aware of this, but I only feel at ease when I'm with them. This person just means the world to me, and if I've been trying to get out of this shitty situation I'm currently in it's simply because of them, so I could make them happy. Like I said, I'm not obsessed. I am overly concerned, and I learned to control that - I know they have their own stuff to attend. Look, we love each other. We both want to be together, and we both have our struggles. I know this will work out, and they give me the strength to believe it.[/QUOTE] You can't put your entire life, well being depending on another person. That's toxic. Unless you're living in an XVIII century classical romance. Specially when the other person's aware of this, because it's scary and a bit manipulative for the other person (although you're not actively manipulating). It pretty much means that whatever the other person does, affects you. You can't do that to someone. No matter how important this person is. It is really good to have a strong bond with someone. But keep in mind that you're you, and the other person's the other person. You can't merge, or in what seems to be the case, negotiate: "You hold my feelings because I can't handle them, and I hold yours". It's important to feel what you're feeling, but feet on the ground. Otherwise you'll just stop living for the sake of the love you feel for the other person. It's not by chance that a lot of classical writers made a lot of ink run about people being lost in love.

[QUOTE=_Axel;49455808]Got a really good feeling with a tinder match. I got her number and we've been texting for hours, and we already arranged a date for next Saturday![/QUOTE] Oh god we changed it to tomorrow, I'm nervous but excited at the same time. I've never had a genuine date before, I have no idea how it'll turn out... But I really have a good feeling about this so far!

[QUOTE=LaughingStock;49458483]I got an internship at this company and it's just about to wrap up because the next semester is starting. They want to keep me because they like my work or something silly like that, so I'll be working from home and showing up to work on fridays every week. I've never asked a girl on a date before and right now I've reached a point where I have no fears about approaching it. I'm thinking this saturday and if I fuck this up I doubt this will create any problems. we've been texting a lot and she fed me almost all of the questions from this article word for word so i'm assuming that's a huge hint: [url]http://www.businessinsider.com/questions-psychologist-says-can-make-you-fall-in-love-2015-1[/url] so should i just pull the trigger tomorrow[/QUOTE] aaaaaaaaand rejected oh well

Someone I really like recently broke up with their SO. How long should I wait to ask them out?

[QUOTE=_Axel;49463786]Oh god we changed it to tomorrow, I'm nervous but excited at the same time. I've never had a genuine date before, I have no idea how it'll turn out... But I really have a good feeling about this so far![/QUOTE] Go with a simple mindset: You don't need to go to the next step with every woman you date. So break it down to the simple formula: She makes you feel good tomorrow? If yes, you'll do fine. If not, oh well.

[QUOTE=_Axel;49463786]Oh god we changed it to tomorrow, I'm nervous but excited at the same time. I've never had a genuine date before, I have no idea how it'll turn out... But I really have a good feeling about this so far![/QUOTE] I actually had my first date ever about a year ago. Turns out, it's remarkably similar to talking to a person. fuck, that wasn't even a year ago. That was 8 months ago. Looking back is weird.

I'm at the point where I've been in so many dates and relationships and one night bullshit that i just don't care anymore. I have no urge to date anyone, but I still feel lonely. I broke up with my last GF for pretty much no reason. She was perfect. Something just didnt feel right. I miss her now, but I can't get her back. Trying to move on has been hard

[QUOTE=Behemoth_PT;49465182]Go with a simple mindset: You don't need to go to the next step with every woman you date. So break it down to the simple formula: She makes you feel good tomorrow? If yes, you'll do fine. If not, oh well.[/QUOTE] She did. She's cute and funny and just all-around lovable! I can't wait to see her again on Friday! [QUOTE=Sector 7;49466529]I actually had my first date ever about a year ago. Turns out, it's remarkably similar to talking to a person. fuck, that wasn't even a year ago. That was 8 months ago. Looking back is weird.[/QUOTE] That's basically what we did. We chatted in the cold for about an hour (why did we agree on meeting in a park in winter lol), then we got back to her car and talked for two more hours. We didn't even revise our finals one bit (which was the initial pretext for setting up our date, that was another stupid idea). I was a bit worried at first, she didn't look at me very much, but I guess that was her initial shyness. We also didn't get physical at all, but I assume that's normal for a first date... Though when she dropped me off I kissed her goodbye on the cheek and the tenderness of her kiss made me feel she was expecting something else. Oh well, we'll save that for the next date I guess. Did I mention we already set up a date for Friday evening? I'm so excited, I don't know how I'll be able to work on my finals with all of this on my mind...

Have been living in a new neighborhood for 6 months (adjacent to where i lived before), on my local store there is one girl, we had a real long eye contact first time we saw each other. I have been through so much shit, my self confidence is lower than ever. I really wanna ask her out, and i probably should? I have a real problem keeping eye contact, tough. I feel awkward, but its just as awkward looking around often.

You have nothing to lose, do it.

[QUOTE=Digivee;49464737]Someone I really like recently broke up with their SO. How long should I wait to ask them out?[/QUOTE] Theres no set time I guess, but a fair while. You don't want to be a rebound dude. Defiantly don't look at it like a challenge or some sort of race against the clock either. p.s. I realize that I still haven't updated about how what I was talking about a few pages back went, I will after friday.

[B]Venting time:[/B] So I pretty much left my current university and decided to change my whole life and it's scary, but I feel good about being behind the wheel on my life again. I've been taking my degree for more than 6 years now with such a high rate of failures that it pretty much demolished my self esteem. I've been taking EE in one of the top public universities in the country (on the top 20 in Europe) and I reached the conclusion that I can't take it anymore). However, this doesn't seem like a failure. I mean sure I stayed because I let myself get swayed by all the pressure of having a degree in a good university, because it leads to bigger opportunities, and was afraid to change degree or institution due to not knowing if I'd have a decent future somewhere else. (Over here, there's still stigma on bachelor degrees and people have this culture of "you either have a PhD or you're worthless). So... Anyway, I was only doing 3 subjects this semester, worked really hard at the beginning but still got terrible results. I pretty much left everything to exam and now I've been finding myself delaying my exam studying to the point where my entire body is rejecting picking up anything. Thing is, I still live with my parents, and I've been afraid of telling them that I didn't want to study anymore for this semester, because I foolishly enrolled this year and they're pretty much paying, and I didn't want to disappoint them. This was the hardest part. So my mom was the first person to notice that I was just not studying at all, so she was the first to come ask me for an explanation. And I just told her everything. "I'm really sorry mom, but I can't do this anymore. I want to drop this and change to another institution in June and find a job and work till then. This is driving me insane." My mom pretty much started crying, she told me "why didn't you tell me about this sooner, why don't you trust us?" - "Because I never know how you'll react and dad's so pissed off because of his own company problems that I never seem to find a right time to do it". And it's true. Announcing change to my parents is always an emotional russian roulette. My mom said that she was only sorry that I didn't do this sooner, and that she had to witness me suffering through so many years, but she said that she would support me, no matter what. Yesterday, my dad comes barging in on my room, completely pissed, yelling at me (He's totally irascible), "WHY DID YOUR MOM TELL ME YOU'RE GIVING UP YOU FUCKING COWARD! YOU'RE A FUCKING DISAPPOINTMENT! YOU CAN'T EVEN MAKE SACRIFICES FOR THE FAMILY YOU INCOMPETENT FOOL" and then insulted me and threatened to "put me through hell if I think I'm gonna stay at home and to nothing" and so on (didn't even ask me what my plan was)... this hurt me real bad, because this was the Man that said I could count on him for anything when I started crying in his car telling him I couldn't take it anymore. So I'm back to emotional square one with my dad. I don't talk to him. And since he's a selfish bitter old man, he keeps asking me rethorical questions and yelling at me to force me to answer. Shit like "What are you doing? DO YOU HEAR ME, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" getting more and more aggressive the more I take to answer or "Did your mom call yet? DO YOU HEAR ME?! DID SHE CALL YET!?". This is pretty much it. My mom took some time to let it all sink in but today she knocked on my room's door and said that she found some openings at a local paper paste factory and I was more than qualified for the job. I mean she knew I was looking for a job and she pretty much helped me. So I'm writing my CV and applying for Machine Operator. And I'm pretty confident about getting the job. Other than that, friends have been really supportive. And I'm not regretting one bit, dropping Uni. I'm only doing some late subjects next semester, for the sake of equivalences and I'm transferring in June. I'll miss my colleagues though. I only told about my decision to one of them, a girl that's going through the same. But I've been there, failing hard for 6 years, it would take 4 more years, minimum to undo all the shit there. I'll be 28 by then. I don't want to spend so much time in a degree that makes me feel miserable. It isn't worth it. 10 years... is a prison sentence. Anyway, just wanted to type this out to see how it feels. Feel free to comment.

So if anyone remembers my posts a week or two ago, I had an amazing first date with a girl and then she left for break. She told me she had an amazing time and was looking forward to seeing me when she got back. Well, she got back and told me she wasn't interested. I guess back to the drawing board.

So I asked the girl out again and today when I was talking to her with some friends I got really worried about what happens if we both run out of things to talk about. What do you do?