Super Friendly Social and Love Advice v7 - Bro just do it, She prob likes you - General

[QUOTE=meharryp;49477191]So I asked the girl out again and today when I was talking to her with some friends I got really worried about what happens if we both run out of things to talk about. What do you do?[/QUOTE] U stare into each other. And then u bang.

[QUOTE=Behemoth_PT;49477427]U stare into each other. And then u bang.[/QUOTE] While that would be great it's only our first date lol

u stare into each other and then u hold hands and then u bang

Guys, I just broke up with my girlfriend last night and I feel really bad about it. I broke up with her because I no longer felt the same as I used to 2 years ago when I first got together with her. She wasn't in anyway mean or a bad person. In fact, she was lovely and always cared for me. But as time went on, I slowly lost feelings for her and no longer wanted to spend the rest of my life with her like I promised her. I made a lot of promises when I first got together because I was still immature and 17 at the time, in school together. She believed my promises and I should have known better to not have made those silly promises but, I was so in love and that was my only excuse I guess. So yeah, she didn't take it well and I feel bad, but everyone around me including my parents are saying that I did the right thing by ending it now, and saving her from wasting her time and it'll help her move on. So, FP did I do the right thing ?

Of course you did mate, it appears that you learned a lot from that relationship and honestly, if you don't want to be with someone no one can force you. Don't worry about the feeling bad part, if you occupy yourself, it will pass soon. If not, it will take a little longer.

the girl I've tried to get to know better the past month who disappeared on xmas eve has "disappeared" again, somewhat. she has stopped opening snaps from me and has left the messages I sent on new years eve unread. I think things in her life are pretty shit right now so I'll just leave her alone until I hear from her again, if I do. gonna comfort myself with that I don't think it's because of me since she's the same towards others I heard, but I could be wrong. I felt that I was somewhat pushy towards the end so I think its for the better that I give her some space anyway. it's a little disappointing since I felt she was a pretty good match, but it's outside of my control to do anything about the situation as it is right now. hopefully she contacts me one day, but I'm not going to set any expectations about that. might vent some thoughts about the situation to our common friend, hear what she has to say about this since she knows her better than I do.

Aaand she text me telling me she isn't ready for another relationship just yet (for some context, her old boyfriend broke up with her ~2 months ago and it's taking a while for her to get over it). If I'm honest I felt like it was never going to happen, I never imagined her as the person who likes guys like me, and hey, at least I don't have to worry about that date.

-snip- tl;dr: I'm noticing a lot of dates I go on aren't very satisfying as there's not much chemistry. I'll find a girl attractive, organise something, then realise our personalities don't bounce off of each other. Maybe I'm not giving shit enough time to pan out and am judging things too quickly, I'm not sure. It's gotten to the point where I know I'm the problem, but I'm not sure how to fix it. After the first few dates with a girl, I'll go from excited to "I really wish I didn't organise this dinner date last week when I was horny" and end up looking forward to when it's over instead of feeling psyched about hanging out with the girl. I originally had a big wall of text up detailing everything but it's an eye-sore and I don't think people in this thread wanna enter teacher-mode and slog through my essay.

[QUOTE=LaughingStock;49458483]I got an internship at this company and it's just about to wrap up because the next semester is starting. They want to keep me because they like my work or something silly like that, so I'll be working from home and showing up to work on fridays every week. I've never asked a girl on a date before and right now I've reached a point where I have no fears about approaching it. I'm thinking this saturday and if I fuck this up I doubt this will create any problems. we've been texting a lot and she fed me almost all of the questions from this article word for word so i'm assuming that's a huge hint: [url]http://www.businessinsider.com/questions-psychologist-says-can-make-you-fall-in-love-2015-1[/url] so should i just pull the trigger tomorrow[/QUOTE] [QUOTE=LaughingStock;49464238]aaaaaaaaand rejected oh well[/QUOTE] today was the first day i went back to work after asking her out, and her mom works in the office too so you can imagine where this is heading. I work in the graphic design room with all of the other designers, and her mom walked into the room shortly after I showed up. There was only one other guy in there at the time and she proceeds to hand him a $100 giftcard to a restaurant and tells him he should use it to take his wife on a romantic dinner date and all of these other nice things. then she walks over to me and says 'oh hi laughingstock' in a cold voice and leaves after throwing something in the trash.

[QUOTE=LaughingStock;49490083]today was the first day i went back to work after asking her out, and her mom works in the office too so you can imagine where this is heading. I work in the graphic design room with all of the other designers, and her mom walked into the room shortly after I showed up. There was only one other guy in there at the time and she proceeds to hand him a $100 giftcard to a restaurant and tells him he should use it to take his wife on a romantic dinner date and all of these other nice things. then she walks over to me and says 'oh hi laughingstock' in a cold voice and leaves after throwing something in the trash.[/QUOTE] i was worried she'd actually called you a laughing stock but thats just your username

[QUOTE=LaughingStock;49490083]today was the first day i went back to work after asking her out, and her mom works in the office too so you can imagine where this is heading. I work in the graphic design room with all of the other designers, and her mom walked into the room shortly after I showed up. There was only one other guy in there at the time and she proceeds to hand him a $100 giftcard to a restaurant and tells him he should use it to take his wife on a romantic dinner date and all of these other nice things. then she walks over to me and says 'oh hi laughingstock' in a cold voice and leaves after throwing something in the trash.[/QUOTE] ask her mum out as revenge and if that capsizes, make a move on the dad

[QUOTE=_Axel;49469178]She did. She's cute and funny and just all-around lovable! I can't wait to see her again on Friday! That's basically what we did. We chatted in the cold for about an hour (why did we agree on meeting in a park in winter lol), then we got back to her car and talked for two more hours. We didn't even revise our finals one bit (which was the initial pretext for setting up our date, that was another stupid idea). I was a bit worried at first, she didn't look at me very much, but I guess that was her initial shyness. We also didn't get physical at all, but I assume that's normal for a first date... Though when she dropped me off I kissed her goodbye on the cheek and the tenderness of her kiss made me feel she was expecting something else. Oh well, we'll save that for the next date I guess. Did I mention we already set up a date for Friday evening? I'm so excited, I don't know how I'll be able to work on my finals with all of this on my mind...[/QUOTE] I think I can safely say that we're together now.

I've got a pretty difficult situation on my mind. I'm trying to figure out how to broach the topic of sex with a friend. This might take a fair amount of back story. She and I started hanging out around August. Before that we were just casual acquaintances for about a year. But just in this short time we've been hanging out, we've become amazing friends. Like, she's a strong contender for best friend I've ever had. She's just like, outstandingly considerate of me. She brought me chocolates one time when I mentioned I was having a bad day, she'll bring me food at work, and she made me this amazing [url=http://makezine.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/02/evil-dead-cross-stitch-1.jpg]Evil Dead cross stitch[/url] for Christmas. We like to drink together at my place occasionally, and a couple times in October and November, we ended up making out and having sex. In the past, I always assumed something like this would naturally lead into a committed relationship, but I could tell it wasn't going down that road with her. It was just something we did as friends a couple of times. Just some good honest fun. And that was fine with me. Then, shortly before Christmas, I had her over for another night of drinking, and right when she arrived at my house she gave me this sort of speech apologizing for all the times we drunkenly hooked up, and saying it's really unfair to me that she did anything like that, because her heart wasn't really in it. Then she swore to me that it would never happen again. I just agreed and went along with it because I didn't want to start an argument or make her uncomfortable right at the beginning of the night, when she'd just driven a long way to my house. That night, I could tell she was really tempted to do it all again, but she kept holding back. Like when we cuddled on the couch and our faces got too close, she'd pull away suddenly. She even went so far as to suddenly get up and tell me at one point that she was gonna go rub one out in my shower. She came back down in a towel, told me she couldn't really get into it, then took the towel off and lay down on me naked. But still, no kissing, and no touching below the belt allowed. So I want to get this conversation back on the table with her, but I'm not sure how to go about it. From what I gather, she seems to have this impression that I'm too emotionally attached, and if we continue having sex, I'm going to end up pulling lines like "You're the one" and "You complete me" with her. But really, it's 100% fine with me if we just have sex as friends. Is there any tactful way I can communicate this idea? I'm worried it's going to just come across like I'm begging her for sex. But I don't know, how do I show that I'm NOT too attached, and that I'm totally fine with just-friends sex, as long as both of us are single? I mean, yeah, sex is a ton of fun, and I'd like to keep that up, but I don't want to risk our friendship by dwelling on it if I find out she's totally made up her mind on it for good. I'll probably end up talking to her about it next time we drink together. She tends to be really easy to talk to about anything. But I thought I'd see if anyone else has a perspective to offer on the situation.

I was fine being broken up with my ex until i heard she got a new boyfriend. I was the one who broke up with her but i can't help but feel im the one not over it. Sad as fuck, and it's so stupid

it kinda sucks that the girl i saw for a month and ended it bc it wasnt going to work due to distance has now decided to text me and leave me in a shaky mess

[QUOTE=fruxodaily;49499027]it kinda sucks that the girl i saw for a month and ended it bc it wasnt going to work due to distance has now decided to text me and leave me in a shaky mess[/QUOTE] What did she tell you?

[QUOTE=_Axel;49499260]What did she tell you?[/QUOTE] bunch of bullshit "i dont know you, i never did" "you hurt me so much" "im hungover i shouldnt of messaged you" short response shit like okay and sure "since i know you arent depressed anymore, ill leave you now forever, goodnight" like, there has been absolute no closer with her, she'll just leave and it just sucks man im never good with people telling me they'll never speak to me again, it hurts too much when people say that

I really find it aggravating when people do that. It's basically just a way for them to do something that they know will leave a lasting effect in your head and tear you up inside. Over last Summer, I was really into this one girl. We were constantly flirting and spending tonnes of time together / calling each other up a lot, so I took the plunge and told her I'd developed feelings for her and if she wanted to take things further. She said no (but kept everything really vague, so it wasn't as if I had closure) and then I said "okay, that's cool, we'll stay as we are". As a result of that, I just started treating her as a friend, so no more 3 hour phone calls most nights and no more dropping everything to hang out with her instead of other friends. About a week passed, and then she started dropping "I miss you" messages and then disappearing for hours, so I'd be left there tearing my hair out and turning myself inside out. And then she hit me with the "I have feelings for you too", and - something that made me get annoyed with her - got her best friend to message me saying "you should give her a chance and try it" (I hate when people don't just say what they want themselves and hide behind getting someone else to say it). I basically said "When I told you how I felt, you said you'd rather be friends, so I think it's probs best we just stay that way", and now - even though it's been a couple months - she'll still message in a way that she knows will sorta hook me and make me feel torn up about things. Especially when she brings up guys in her life she's into, completely irrelevant to what we're talking about. Gah

Yeah, I think so. It's really obvious at times. She'll message at night with a sort of cliffhanger "Can we talk?" and then when I reply she'll say "Nevermind". I just drop it, cause I feel like I lose face if I pester her about it and I refuse to get reeled into this dumb highschool mindgame shit. Then there's the guy crush stuff she brings up, and when I give her genuine advice like "Hey, if he makes you happy, go for it! He seems like a nice guy" she gets surly. She also sends lots of snapchats that I can tell have a motive behind them. I just don't play ball cause I'm too old for this shit. When I opened myself up and made myself vulnerable by telling her how I felt, she didn't have the kindness to just be blunt with me and instead kept things open-ended which was torture for a week or so. Then after she realised I was genuinely moving on, she hits me with all this heart twisting stuff in what I can only figure is an attempt to get me to fall for her again or something, or get jealous to the point where I ask her out again?? I don't feel comfortable hanging out with her anymore, either, cause I feel like she doesn't treat things like they used to be when we were just friends. Every time we hang out, it just feels like she's trying to reel me back in or something, especially when her best friend is with us and keeps making comments about how cute we are and stuff like that. It doesn't feel like two friends hanging out, it feels like uncomfortable and forced pseudo-dating situations. I just keep to hanging out with her when we're in a big group now. [editline]10th January 2016[/editline] It doesn't make me feel bad anymore. July was when I told her how I felt. I started feeling more like myself around late August. Her messages don't have the same gut-wrenching effect anymore, which I'm super grateful for. I just don't get why she's still at it even though it's been ages, I kept thinking she'd eventually stop but I doubt it at this point.

shes making me feel bad on purpose and fucking with my head and im too nice to tell her to fuck off, like when i was in melbourne in september i had a gut full and i was outright telling her what was on my mind and when i sobered up i regretted it because i never like to be aggressive on people but fuck when people back me into a corner and expect me to not fucking flinch its absolutely impossible, i feel so alone and vunerable and its not fun and i just cant deal with this shit, fuck it

Fucking block her from everything, she only wants to harm you.

her number is unsaved and i deleted the conversation on imessage, thanks fam

[QUOTE=loopoo;49500222]It doesn't make me feel bad anymore. July was when I told her how I felt. I started feeling more like myself around late August. Her messages don't have the same gut-wrenching effect anymore, which I'm super grateful for. I just don't get why she's still at it even though it's been ages, I kept thinking she'd eventually stop but I doubt it at this point.[/QUOTE] [QUOTE=fruxodaily;49500465]shes making me feel bad on purpose and fucking with my head and im too nice to tell her to fuck off[/QUOTE] Stop engaging them. They are trying to get a response out of you. Do not write a text back. Writing "don't text me again" is still engaging them. Telling them to leave you alone is still engaging them. If they send you 10 texts and you reply, you are teaching them that it takes 10 texts to get a response. Any response at all is only going to show them their efforts are working.

Everyone around me is in relationships. I'm trying to better myself by figuring out who I am rather than hiding in other people but holy shit it's hard when everyone around you seems to find solitude in other people. It also doesn't make me feel too wanted either. This stuff is hard to figure out.

[QUOTE=fruxodaily;49500465]shes making me feel bad on purpose and fucking with my head and im too nice to tell her to fuck off, like when i was in melbourne in september i had a gut full and i was outright telling her what was on my mind and when i sobered up i regretted it because i never like to be aggressive on people but fuck when people back me into a corner and expect me to not fucking flinch its absolutely impossible, i feel so alone and vunerable and its not fun and i just cant deal with this shit, fuck it[/QUOTE] She's manipulating you. Damn that bitch's like a fucking self-esteem vampire. Don't be afraid of telling her to just fuck off. She knows that putting your balls to the wall is the only way of her winning power over you. So ignore the shit out of her. Don't answer. Or just reply "go fuck yourself" and lean back, don't reply anymore and enjoy her losing her shit until she gets tired.

:snip:

Decided I'd get on the dating scene, or at least meet people. So I fired up OkStupid and there's like one girl on there in my area and it costs $1 to message her. Tried Tinder but it's like 99 bots and 1 real person. Tried real life and no one goes anywhere besides the grocery store.

Okay guys, I really need some of your opinions and perhaps some advice too. Some time ago I posted [URL="https://facepunch.com/showthread.php?t=1482859&p=49330960&highlight=#post49330960"]this story[/URL] here. So, I've continued chatting with her, texting and one or two phone calls. She was gone during holidays, we barely had any contact during that except her sending me happy new years, this surprised me actually. I tried calling her today in the morning and didn't get through. She called me back an hour or two later. Talked a bit but I was dizzy as fuck as it literally woke me up, she asked if she was disturbing me or anything, I told her it was fine and had some small talk. Then I asked if she wants to go on that coffee sometime now, that was something even she recommended then. The reaction I got fucking baffles me because I understand it. Like, her voice changed and she suddenly said she's got work to do and call me back on that, which has not happened yet. Did she panic when I asked that or something? I'm not sure on what to do next? Do I call her again tomorrow morning or just send a text? I'm getting really mixed signals here.

[QUOTE=jonoPorter;49509261]Okay guys, I really need some of your opinions and perhaps some advice too. Some time ago I posted [URL="https://facepunch.com/showthread.php?t=1482859&p=49330960&highlight=#post49330960"]this story[/URL] here. So, I've continued chatting with her, texting and one or two phone calls. She was gone during holidays, we barely had any contact during that except her sending me happy new years, this surprised me actually. I tried calling her today in the morning and didn't get through. She called me back an hour or two later. Talked a bit but I was dizzy as fuck as it literally woke me up, she asked if she was disturbing me or anything, I told her it was fine and had some small talk. Then I asked if she wants to go on that coffee sometime now, that was something even she recommended then. The reaction I got fucking baffles me because I understand it. Like, her voice changed and she suddenly said she's got work to do and call me back on that, which has not happened yet. Did she panic when I asked that or something? I'm not sure on what to do next? Do I call her again tomorrow morning or just send a text? I'm getting really mixed signals here.[/QUOTE] If she went through the motions of calling you back and all that stuff, that's a good sign, but if she didn't give you a clear answer on when she will even let you know when she can hang out, that's a bad sign. This happened to me recently and it ended badly, but everyone is different. [b]Wait a few days, don't call again.[/b] This is critical.

[QUOTE=Glitchman;49509343]If she went through the motions of calling you back and all that stuff, that's a good sign, but if she didn't give you a clear answer on when she will even let you know when she can hang out, that's a bad sign. This happened to me recently and it ended badly, but everyone is different. [b]Wait a few days, don't call again.[/b] This is critical.[/QUOTE] So, not even a text then or is that just limited to not calling? [editline]11th January 2016[/editline] And what then? Call her again after a couple of days or wait until she does again? Thanks. [editline]11th January 2016[/editline] Did I point out that this woman is 28 years old? Dunno if that changes something.