Super Friendly Social and Love Advice v7 - Bro just do it, She prob likes you - General

Well I am also 28 and deal with woman in that age range. Maybe give it 2 days and send a text. Really you just don't want to sound desperate or like all your plans revolve around her. Something could be up and you never really know so just be on the safe side. This is why it's good when dating to have multiple options until you figure out who is your best match. It leads you to break some hearts but it's better than being stuck on someone, then end up back at the start.

Remember that girl I was mustering the courage to talk to but was too pussy to do so? I'm going to initiate a conversation with her on facebook. Yesterday I set this as my today's goal so. I'm gonna dive in like a suicide bomber or die trying in a magnificent spaghetti explosion. Wish me luck. Here I go. [I]ALLAHU AKBAR![/I]

[QUOTE=Behemoth_PT;49509595] on facebook. [I]ALLAHU AKBAR![/I][/QUOTE] On Facebook!? Actually it's worked for me so go for it

Well yeah, she lives an hour away from me, we talked about three times. The first time was going well but it got pretty much interrupted by the on-off situation between me and my ex. And when I re-started the conversation between me and her I was so emotionally tired that I wasn't able to put much effort in it and the vibe kinda died off. Now I've been trying to re-ignite the conversation and get to know her a little better. If everything goes right I'll eventually ask her out. I'm currently talking to her, the begining of the conversation was kinda awkward but I did some grade A damage control and was able to get my shit together and restrain the flow of spaghetti. [editline]11th January 2016[/editline] She's got a boyfriend. Abort mission. She subtly sled the "me and my boyfriend were doing x and y the other day". Oh well, at least I tried. Gonna keep talking to her though.

[QUOTE=Guy Mannly;49500913]Stop engaging them. They are trying to get a response out of you. Do not write a text back. Writing "don't text me again" is still engaging them. Telling them to leave you alone is still engaging them. If they send you 10 texts and you reply, you are teaching them that it takes 10 texts to get a response. Any response at all is only going to show them their efforts are working.[/QUOTE] I can attest to this. My senior year there was this girl, to put it [I]lightly[/I], that I was not interested in what so ever. I didn't even know her name, she added me on Facebook out of the blue. I made a couple of mistakes, and the first was giving her my number, and the second was engaging her she said, and I quote "i can't live without you" (note that we only had Homeroom together and I had never even spoken to her at all. After the weekend this happened she stopped coming to Homeroom, hehe). the texts and alternate facebook accounts didn't stop until I smartened up a day or so later and just blocked each account she tried adding me with, and not responding to her. seriously, just don't text back anything or respond at all.

Anyway, I feel relieved for talking to the girl even though she already has someone. We talked for an hour or so, got to have a nice chat at least, and even though I got nothing out of such a small situation - talking to girls isn't that much of a big deal. In fact, if anyone here is in the same situation of trying to muster the courage to talk to a girl, just breathe deeply and give it a go. You may feel that there might be no subject but it will come along the way. Oh well. That's life.

[QUOTE=Guy Mannly;49500913]Stop engaging them. They are trying to get a response out of you. Do not write a text back. Writing "don't text me again" is still engaging them. Telling them to leave you alone is still engaging them. If they send you 10 texts and you reply, you are teaching them that it takes 10 texts to get a response. Any response at all is only going to show them their efforts are working.[/QUOTE] It's hard to ignore messages from people like that I miss her a lot even though I remember why I ended it, I just think that's natural but as soon as you engage with them again, you remember truly their true colours and how much better off you are She'll know if she's awaiting a response because I have read receipts turned on [editline]12th January 2016[/editline] fuck it whatever, found her number, tossed it in my block list, she can fuck off

What's with (a lot of) women and only wanting to date guys who are over 6' tall and heave beards can't impress with this shit

[QUOTE=Glitchman;49514623]What's with (a lot of) women and only wanting to date guys who are over 6' tall and heave beards can't impress with this shit[/QUOTE] If a woman makes height a deal-breaker, they're not the type of woman you want to date.

[QUOTE=Glitchman;49514623]What's with (a lot of) women and only wanting to date guys who are over 6' tall and heave beards can't impress with this shit[/QUOTE] See I feel you here. It's weird for me looking at tinder, because I'm just short of being tall and it seems dudes around me either like tiny femme guys or big hulking otters and I'm just in the middle :v In the end, someone who makes that a huge issue isn't worth your time. Appearance and stuff like that are more of a "type" thing, but that just sorta guides the trend of grabbing your initial interest. It shouldn't be used to set a pass or bar to meet. [editline]12th January 2016[/editline] Like, falling into my own trap, but I have a huuuge thing for way taller guys and generally nice fashion sense. But that just guides what I look for, I don't feel egocentric enough to set that as a bar or turn down people who don't meet that. It's remarkably shallow to do so.

If we're talking dating sites, women tend to get a lot of messages compared to men. Sometimes they'll start setting specific criteria to make it easier to decide which ones to respond to. That's not to say that the whole tall/bearded requirement isn't stupid.

[QUOTE=Guy Mannly;49517258]If we're talking dating sites, women tend to get a lot of messages compared to men. Sometimes they'll start setting specific criteria to make it easier to decide which ones to respond to. That's not to say that the whole tall/bearded requirement isn't stupid.[/QUOTE] That I can understand I guess, since I'm not really sure how you'd cut down the messages otherwise. I don't feel dating sites are very advantageous for women, it's easy to be inundated but it's also easy to appear unwelcoming (due to the former causing the latter) That's a tough one :I

Why is there an under-representation of women on dating sites in the first place?

There are a good deal of assholes on dating sites tbh. And some people are just plain creepy. Doesn't surprise me that a lot of women, and still even some men, don't really enjoy it.

[QUOTE=paindoc;49517369]That I can understand I guess, since I'm not really sure how you'd cut down the messages otherwise. I don't feel dating sites are very advantageous for women, it's easy to be inundated but it's also easy to appear unwelcoming (due to the former causing the latter) That's a tough one :I[/QUOTE] I just didn't answer any messages that didn't include a question/conversation starter. You would be amazed at how many people messaged me and tried to give me the responsibility of finding something to talk about.

[QUOTE=Pascall;49517549]There are a good deal of assholes on dating sites tbh. And some people are just plain creepy. Doesn't surprise me that a lot of women, and still even some men, don't really enjoy it.[/QUOTE] So much so that non-creeps tend to stand out.

[QUOTE=_Axel;49517493]Why is there an under-representation of women on dating sites in the first place?[/QUOTE] i'm sure there's a shitton of reasons ie, how men are the ones encouraged to take on an active role. which leads to more girls than guys being hit on, and possibly ending up in relationships. which in turn leads to girls wanting to avoid the stigma of looking like the one that never gets hit on, etc etc

[QUOTE=Zukriuchen;49517827]i'm sure there's a shitton of reasons ie, how men are the ones encouraged to take on an active role. which leads to more girls than guys being hit on, and possibly ending up in relationships. which in turn leads to girls wanting to avoid the stigma of looking like the one that never gets hit on, etc etc[/QUOTE] It's pretty much just dating culture. Men are usually the pursuers. Women are taught to wait for a guy to come to them, not to actively look. Safety/vulnerability also play a role in women avoiding online dating. Women tend to be more inclined to date people they met in person or through friends and are more suspicious of the men they do meet online.

the more that i hear of stories from my friend about creeps(they're not even initially creeps, just the fact that after they get rejected they go full like psycho) that approach them the more understandable i feel it is to hate men, and she's been telling me it's been even worse after she started working out and lost a bunch of weight(she kept all her curves though)(literally she walked into a room and almost everyone was like [I]dayum[/I] or calling dibs) not reasonable mind you but understandable i too would hate men if i was not one myself

[QUOTE=Yahnich;49517545]have u ever been a chick on a dating site? shits rough[/QUOTE] My girlfriend had over 200 matches on tinder when we had our first date, there were some fucking weirdos within those 200

Ruined a ""potential"" chance (chick met on a common friends party) by telling that I'd like see her again (via fb, before that we introduced eachother, she was the one to add me btw, also we didn't talk at the party) like two days after said party. Fuck me :suicide: you learn by doing mistakes I guess... [QUOTE]My girlfriend had over 200 matches on tinder when we had our first date, there were some fucking weirdos within those 200[/QUOTE] Wow, you really were the chosen one

[QUOTE=Fire Kracker;49519778]the more that i hear of stories from my friend about creeps(they're not even initially creeps, just the fact that after they get rejected they go full like psycho) that approach them the more understandable i feel it is to hate men, and she's been telling me it's been even worse after she started working out and lost a bunch of weight(she kept all her curves though)(literally she walked into a room and almost everyone was like [I]dayum[/I] or calling dibs) not reasonable mind you but understandable i too would hate men if i was not one myself[/QUOTE] Women can be creepy too, the difference is that women are less physically threatening than men. Most men who have been sexually harassed by women will brush it off because they don't feel concerned for their safety. I've known a couple men who were sexual assault victims and they were much more concerned about being sexually harassed by women because they perceived a threat that men who haven't experienced that generally don't. Even for women, context matters. Catcalling in broad daylight on your college campus is rude (and will get you yelled at) but not that threatening. Having a guy try to talk to you outside a Walmart when it's dark out is terrifying. [editline]13th January 2016[/editline] [QUOTE=Kirbyfactor;49519806]My girlfriend had over 200 matches on tinder when we had our first date, there were some fucking weirdos within those 200[/QUOTE] I had 300 messages in my inbox after having an Okcupid account for 3 days. I think I replied to about 10 of them, and the only person I found remotely interesting was the one person I messaged first, who is now my boyfriend.

oops, it's revision week and there's been barely any attendance at uni. woke up this morning, had a shower and decided not to bother shaving / worrying too much about how I look, since it was doubtful I'd bump into anyone I care about. went into uni looking like a hobo, horrible "badly done Movember" stache and scruffy hair, and my luck is so terrible that a girl I've been attracted to for ages decides to sit next to me. we spoke during the lecture and it was alright, but I couldn't shake the feeling of being self-conscious. ignored the inner existential crisis I was having and still managed to have a fun chat and make her laugh. lesson learned: never go full hobo, cause you don't know who you'll bump into.

I already know what I have to do about this situation, but I have to vent thoughts anyway. so I have this friend who is very negative and depressed and vents a lot of thoughts to me but doesn't absorb any help I try to give. before new years eve, she was normal, spoke with me, wasn't acting odd compared to her usual self, but after new years eve? something has happened and I have no idea what. she has become care, uninterested, never wants to meet, and as soon as I ask if she wants to meet she comes with a lot of bad excuses as if she feels a need to defend herself which is just a big red sign to me. if she just said "I can't today, I'm exhausted" I wouldn't react, but when she comes with "oh but I have to shower, and um I have to eat, and I'm going to bed early" as an excuse when it's literally 2pm I start wondering whats up, especially when its reoccurring. at the same time, she does send me snaps and she does initiate conversations over chat still, so clearly she is interested in talking with me which makes this an even bigger mystery to me. there's so many other things too which are amiss, she's not her usual self towards me but she is with others. I have no idea what's wrong and I've wanted to talk to her for a while but I want to take that conversation face-to-face which isn't an easy task when she's never available to meet. I think I'll just toss her a message and ask if we have anything unresolved to hear her thoughts tomorrow

wait what, does Tinder tell you when someone likes you? I haven't touched the app for a while and I just got a notification that someone likes me. no idea who that someone might be, but I thought there was no notification at all. was that a super like or a regular like? that means a total of 2 people have liked me on Tinder ever since I made my account, that's not a fun fact to know

[QUOTE=PredGD;49524836]wait what, does Tinder tell you when someone likes you? I haven't touched the app for a while and I just got a notification that someone likes me. no idea who that someone might be, but I thought there was no notification at all. was that a super like or a regular like? that means a total of 2 people have liked me on Tinder ever since I made my account, that's not a fun fact to know[/QUOTE] You are told when you have a match, as in you both liked each other. Super Likes notify the person you liked before they like you and show up bigger.

[QUOTE=paindoc;49524977]You are told when you have a match, as in you both liked each other. Super Likes notify the person you liked before they like you and show up bigger.[/QUOTE] a super like also reveals who they are too, right? odd that I got a notification that someone liked me but no name, or maybe the name isn't in the notification. maybe I swiped them away before I got the chance to figure out that they were the one who super liked me, I have no idea

I like how someone super liked me so I sent a message (just like a nice normal message whatever) and I get no response then unmatched shits rough

18 years old and I don't even make social contact with friends outside of school nor haven't dated anyone I've liked, despite my friends encouraging me and my family practically giving me full reign on having a relationship. What the hell is wrong with me?

[QUOTE=CSLeader;49526592]18 years old and I don't even make social contact with friends outside of school nor haven't dated anyone I've liked, despite my friends encouraging me and my family practically giving me full reign on having a relationship. What the hell is wrong with me?[/QUOTE] sounds pretty normal i didn't become social until i was in college