Super Friendly Social and Love Advice v7 - Bro just do it, She prob likes you - General

[QUOTE=Pascall;49733530]A few more gems from my OKCupid inbox: [t]https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/s/fjdaflu0vvxye3w/chrome_2016-02-13_11-19-36.png?dl=0[/t] ??????????????????????????? what do this mean [t]https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/s/7vw0v1s3as6sxhk/chrome_2016-02-13_11-20-50.png?dl=0[/t] I have no idea what UI/UX is im so confused lmfao[/QUOTE] User Interaction Design or User Interface design. Human Centered Design and engineering, if your college is pretentious like mine and wants to make it sound fancy.

[QUOTE=Pascall;49734454]I'll post some good ones if I get any. I've gone through and deleted a ton but I always wake up to more so :v we'll see. [editline]13th February 2016[/editline] oh I did get this one this morning [t]http://41.media.tumblr.com/9bb8ed5234ac10852e3a6dc2d4902c6e/tumblr_o2hyiuSNiX1ql7e99o3_400.png[/t] i can't even discern what he's trying to tell me though[/QUOTE] Chris and Gaius23 should hook up.

Okay guys, I have a serious story to tell and I would REALLY LIKE your opinion. I am completely aware that a lot of you will condemn me, but I'd like the most level-headed response I can get. This has to do with an ex-boyfriend I dated for about six months last year. Okay, so this guy was pretty emotionally abusive to me. He would insult me, make me feel worthless and I find it important to emphasize that he would NEVER apologize, I would have to force one out of him for making me feel like shit. He also constantly lied to me, I would always catch him lying. He'd also talk to other guys all the time. He also cheated on me because he went to a gay club to be a shot boy, the manager gave him a blowjob in the dressing room and gave him a purple bandana. He got home called me and I skyped him telling him I forgive him and I love him, his excuse was that he didn't know what to do he felt scared which I tried to empathize for because he was sexually abused. The very next morning, he's wearing that purple bandana proudly and told me it has no significance and shouldn't be upset about the fact he's wearing it. Not too mention I later found out he secretly emailed the manager that next afternoon asking for his number (his excuse was that he wanted to block the number). He never really apologized for ever insulting me, cheating on me, didn't feel guilty for talking to other guys and hanging out with them, even being kissed by them (or almost kissed, but I suspect that was another lie). Okay, phew, so that is just some anecdotal evidence about how deep I got with him, and how much shit I went through to be his. I know at this point I should of broke up with him, but I didn't have much dignity for myself and cared too much about him. Fast forward to the breakup, I found out he had been lying to me. I've asked him several times if he's ever hung out with any ex-boyfriends like his last one, he would always insist no. I found out AGAINST HIS WILL that he had been snapchatting his last ex. I found out that they have been talking for months, and even went on a lunch date and did who knows what. I got furious, I got sick of being lied too. He insisted that they didn't do anything, but that didn't help the situation. He shouldn't of kept it a secret intentionally, he kept it a secret because the night he got picked up by him, he told me he was going to a girl's house. I got pissed off and started seeing red, he walked away down the street and I suspected he was going to do something to hide something on his phone. So I followed him, yelling at him for being a liar. He wasn't confronting the issue OR apologizing, insisting he didn't do anything and I was 'overreacting' ... Mind you, if he would of just told me that he went to see his ex, I would of understood him even if it hurt. That's how much I tried to push my hurt feelings down, in an effort to be understanding. I was furious, and before I knew it, he switched from boyfriend to my enemy in my head. I registered all of the fucked up shit he did to me and said to me and it became an instance where I just wanted to whoop his ass for hurting me so much. I pushed him, then again. I punched him in the chest. I tackled him to the ground. I even swung once at his face but missed. I didn't want to 'abuse' him per se, I just wanted to make him get what he deserved. I understand a lot of you may call me physically abusive like it was domestic violence, and so be it. But I did apologize after a few days for hitting him, but I was too busy being so hurt and dead inside that everyone I came across said I looked tired. He would always ask me to hide the things he did to me, like "don't tell anyone that i cheated on you" or "don't say this to anyone" and I would hide it. His family disliked me, because he experienced psychosis and told them I drugged him. I messaged them telling them he was experiencing psychosis because I have a mental illness and I know how that goes. He was by the way, he acknowledged it. My last bit of reasoning, is I always felt like everything about him was pitted against me. His grandparents talked shit about me, convinced him I was cheating on him (but didn't flinch when he cheated on me) and told him a bunch of rubbish. He would call me and accuse me of cheating, and I would always talk him to sleep saying how much I loved him. My emphasis is that I put all of my heart into this kid. His grandparents hated me for no reason, his best friend insisted and told him he should break up with me multiple times before the fight for no reason. I spent hundreds of dollars and drove hours and hours to see him. And for example I bought him a ticket to his favorite music artist, and he was ungrateful and gave me shit because I joked about how he should tell his grandparents about how great I am. My question isn't if I had a right to hit him. My question is this, am I physically abusive? He broke up with me and has called me physically abusive since. Because I hit him because he brought me to my worst. Any advice guys? (we're both dudes)

[QUOTE=ScoobyV2;49734901]Okay guys, I have a serious story to tell and I would REALLY LIKE your opinion. I am completely aware that a lot of you will condemn me, but I'd like the most level-headed response I can get. This has to do with an ex-boyfriend I dated for about six months last year. Okay, so this guy was pretty emotionally abusive to me. He would insult me, make me feel worthless and I find it important to emphasize that he would NEVER apologize, I would have to force one out of him for making me feel like shit. He also constantly lied to me, I would always catch him lying. He'd also talk to other guys all the time. He also cheated on me because he went to a gay club to be a shot boy, the manager gave him a blowjob in the dressing room and gave him a purple bandana. He got home called me and I skyped him telling him I forgive him and I love him, his excuse was that he didn't know what to do he felt scared which I tried to empathize for because he was sexually abused. The very next morning, he's wearing that purple bandana proudly and told me it has no significance and shouldn't be upset about the fact he's wearing it. Not too mention I later found out he secretly emailed the manager that next afternoon asking for his number (his excuse was that he wanted to block the number). He never really apologized for ever insulting me, cheating on me, didn't feel guilty for talking to other guys and hanging out with them, even being kissed by them (or almost kissed, but I suspect that was another lie). Okay, phew, so that is just some anecdotal evidence about how deep I got with him, and how much shit I went through to be his. I know at this point I should of broke up with him, but I didn't have much dignity for myself and cared too much about him. Fast forward to the breakup, I found out he had been lying to me. I've asked him several times if he's ever hung out with any ex-boyfriends like his last one, he would always insist no. I found out AGAINST HIS WILL that he had been snapchatting his last ex. I found out that they have been talking for months, and even went on a lunch date and did who knows what. I got furious, I got sick of being lied too. He insisted that they didn't do anything, but that didn't help the situation. He shouldn't of kept it a secret intentionally, he kept it a secret because the night he got picked up by him, he told me he was going to a girl's house. I got pissed off and started seeing red, he walked away down the street and I suspected he was going to do something to hide something on his phone. So I followed him, yelling at him for being a liar. He wasn't confronting the issue OR apologizing, insisting he didn't do anything and I was 'overreacting' ... Mind you, if he would of just told me that he went to see his ex, I would of understood him even if it hurt. That's how much I tried to push my hurt feelings down, in an effort to be understanding. I was furious, and before I knew it, he switched from boyfriend to my enemy in my head. I registered all of the fucked up shit he did to me and said to me and it became an instance where I just wanted to whoop his ass for hurting me so much. I pushed him, then again. I punched him in the chest. I tackled him to the ground. I even swung once at his face but missed. I didn't want to 'abuse' him per se, I just wanted to make him get what he deserved. I understand a lot of you may call me physically abusive like it was domestic violence, and so be it. But I did apologize after a few days for hitting him, but I was too busy being so hurt and dead inside that everyone I came across said I looked tired. He would always ask me to hide the things he did to me, like "don't tell anyone that i cheated on you" or "don't say this to anyone" and I would hide it. His family disliked me, because he experienced psychosis and told them I drugged him. I messaged them telling them he was experiencing psychosis because I have a mental illness and I know how that goes. He was by the way, he acknowledged it. My last bit of reasoning, is I always felt like everything about him was pitted against me. His grandparents talked shit about me, convinced him I was cheating on him (but didn't flinch when he cheated on me) and told him a bunch of rubbish. He would call me and accuse me of cheating, and I would always talk him to sleep saying how much I loved him. My emphasis is that I put all of my heart into this kid. His grandparents hated me for no reason, his best friend insisted and told him he should break up with me multiple times before the fight for no reason. I spent hundreds of dollars and drove hours and hours to see him. And for example I bought him a ticket to his favorite music artist, and he was ungrateful and gave me shit because I joked about how he should tell his grandparents about how great I am. My question isn't if I had a right to hit him. My question is this, am I physically abusive? He broke up with me and has called me physically abusive since. Because I hit him because he brought me to my worst. Any advice guys? (we're both dudes)[/QUOTE] I don't think your question of "am I abusive" is relevant. Yeah, punching someone is physical abuse. You know that as well as we do, but it's kind of moot, punching people isnt the answer regardless of what label you put on it. Just got to a) drop contact with the guy b) move on c) learn many things so that next time it doesnt get as far as you feeling the need to resorting to punching someone.

I hope it doesn't either. I just worry about having abusive tendencies since, which have never been a concern. I've never been an angry person, I only get angry when I'm taken advantage of. My first relationship was successful, I would of never hit him. I would of never hit this guy either, I loved him to death. It was just a climax to a very unfortunately situation. We stopped talking for about three months since this. He actually called me last week trying to be friends, saying music reminds him of me and he dreams about me. I asked for him to apologize for some things, but he didn't really apologize. No surprise. I've accepted it for what it is, and I think what makes/made me angry is that he doesn't hold himself accountable for hurting the relationship so carelessly after I put so much effort into it. We text occasionally now, I'm nice to him, he's whatever he is, kind of nice I guess. I have learned I can lose a lot if I lose control to my temper. I don't want it to ever happen again, I don't feel exactly justified for my actions that's why I have sought advice about it ever since. Thanks so much for an answer. I'd appreciate if anyone has their own advice to share.

don't know if anyone remembers my over thinking spree, but anyway, things are progressing! had a few friends over and me and the girl who has a mutual interest in each other ended up kissing, so nice! talked some, cuddled up against each other, kissed more and made out for a few seconds as a goodbye, feeling absolutely amazing today. of course the over thinking is still around and I do notice I'm picking up on negative signs even now which is terrible, but at the very least I'm aware that it's all in my head. can't wait to see what the future brings

so the messages pascall reminded me of terms/sayings I hate seeing on dating profiles. "Good vibes", "ride or die", "ill like your dog more than you", "take me on an adventure", Any variation of those also makes me mad

alright signed up for okcupid lets see how this goes did not see many people I was interested in and feel nervous as fuck, but what I was doing wasn't working

so for valentine's day i wrote my gf something cute bc we've known each other for a real long time and got her subway, key to a woman's heart

[t]https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/s/pxqn1tb6o1mcksh/chrome_2016-02-13_23-32-28.png?dl=0[/t] Oh shit I better grab this one while I can. [t]https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/s/7qh6u4a6ce3fcr6/chrome_2016-02-13_23-33-39.png?dl=0[/t] Is he expecting me to answer with my criminal record. Also if anyone wants me to stop with these, I will lmao. Take them as examples of what not to do....

I would do that if I weren't lazy lol.

do enough people use okcupid on FP to justify it though? I haven't had any weird messages yet, just a fair amount of promising matches! Its sorta fun. And sorta terrifying. And admittedly, my emotions are a bit frazzled atm but I'm working on getting better at being stable [editline]14th February 2016[/editline] WOOP THERE IT IS first polyamorous invitation from a 39 year old dude who kept using the word "daddy" [I]*hurk*[/I] and his twink bf (ofc)

[QUOTE=RenegadeCop;49737311]8 think it would be a hit thred, like deviant art thread [editline]13th February 2016[/editline] It. An be all dating. Sit3a, not just ocupid [editline]13th February 2016[/editline] Fucked he'll it's hard to type after a few shots Mostly because autocorrected t, this post would be flawless if not for that[/QUOTE] Need to practice more. A lot of my posts here have been while drunk, I've just gotten really good at typing after half a bottle of wine.

oh man. Entrepreneurship related activities. That guy sounds like a big deal.

[QUOTE=Pascall;49737243][t]https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/s/pxqn1tb6o1mcksh/chrome_2016-02-13_23-32-28.png?dl=0[/t] Oh shit I better grab this one while I can. [t]https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/s/7qh6u4a6ce3fcr6/chrome_2016-02-13_23-33-39.png?dl=0[/t] Is he expecting me to answer with my criminal record. Also if anyone wants me to stop with these, I will lmao. Take them as examples of what not to do....[/QUOTE] These are all great, don't stop.

[QUOTE=Pascall;49737243] [t]https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/s/7qh6u4a6ce3fcr6/chrome_2016-02-13_23-33-39.png?dl=0[/t] Is he expecting me to answer with my criminal record.[/QUOTE] it's a golden opportunity to fuck with someone, tell him you were jailed for accidentally strangling a man during incredibly kinky sex and you plan to do it again

[QUOTE=dcalde78;49738384]it's a golden opportunity to fuck with someone, tell him you were jailed for accidentally strangling a man during incredibly kinky sex and you plan to do it again[/QUOTE] speaking of i got a question asking if I was okay trying cutting during sex wtf okcupid

what no it isn't that's weird as fuck

re-enabled my OKC, time for more personal questions from nobody in particular yay good way to kill time at least

So I've been talking to two different girls from Tinder on Whatsapp now for a while, and I'm gonna meet up with one of them soon. Should I let the other one know..? I feel kinda weird about this. Oh, and I'm also meeting up with a girl this wednesday that I met in real life how2date pls help

[QUOTE=healthpoint;49739691]So I've been talking to two different girls from Tinder on Whatsapp now for a while, and I'm gonna meet up with one of them soon. Should I let the other one know..?[/QUOTE] no

[QUOTE=Yahnich;49740089]my time on okcupid was mostly spent doing quizzes and filling in the questions its like playing would you rather but it remembers your answers[/QUOTE] and makes them public if people really want to look which is fun for the sex ones

[QUOTE=Sector 7;49739951]no[/QUOTE] Aight, fair enough. I'd still have to let the other know eventually if that date turns out to be a good one though.

[QUOTE=healthpoint;49740373]Aight, fair enough. I'd still have to let the other know eventually if that date turns out to be a good one though.[/QUOTE] What do you think you're date cheating or something? You're under no obligations to either of them and your options are open

[QUOTE=healthpoint;49740373]Aight, fair enough. I'd still have to let the other know eventually if that date turns out to be a good one though.[/QUOTE] Try both of them before choosing one or the other. Keep it to 1-2 dates at most, but still give both a shot.

[QUOTE=Enola;49740652]What do you think you're date cheating or something? You're under no obligations to either of them and your options are open[/QUOTE] I know, but I'd rather not just suddenly stop conversation with one of them after things get more serious with the other. I've been on the receiving end of a situation like that, and it sucks. aka: I don't wanna hurt any feelings yo

[QUOTE=healthpoint;49740695]I know, but I'd rather not just suddenly stop conversation with one of them after things get more serious with the other. I've been on the receiving end of a situation like that, and it sucks. aka: I don't wanna hurt any feelings yo[/QUOTE] so don't say anything because "i'm just not interested" is better than "i'm more interested in another person"

That's true.

I keep having amazing first dates with awesome women that turn into slow painful fades this is fucking brutal. uuuugh. I seriously need to stop getting attached to people after only spending 4-5 hours together. The last girl I dated represented literally everything I wanted in a partner and I was on my A-game the whole time and we had fun just being together and we ended up making out before parting ways but it still just fizzled out anyway. We even had jobs in the same field and we had a bunch of super obscure connections. She even liked my favorite crappy pizza place! And now we're not going to talk ever again. Dating sucks.

so uh i just kind of randomly installed tinder again just for some shit to do while on the toilet a few weeks back, started talking to someone just passively as I do since I never use it for actually meeting people, I just don't mind chatting with random people sometimes, and now I've just been asked for a coffee. I'm like, pretty shit at this sort of thing since I've never really gone for a coffee one to one with someone I've not met ever, and i'm studying abroad at the moment so really didn't expect anything to happen here and i've no idea what to do? whoops