Super Friendly Social and Love Advice v7 - Bro just do it, She prob likes you - General

[QUOTE=Sector 7;49782366]why would you get tested for oral herpes?? 90% of everybody gets oral herpes before they die. Just don't go down on anybody while you have an outbreak.[/QUOTE] ease of mind I guess, to know for sure. I could be wrong so it would be nice with a confirmation. can't herpes spread even when there's no outbreak? [url]http://www.cdc.gov/std/herpes/stdfact-herpes.htm[/url] [quote]Fluids found in a herpes sore carry the virus, and contact with those fluids can cause infection. You can also get herpes from an infected sex partner who does not have a visible sore or who may not know he or she is infected because the virus can be released through your skin and spread the infection to your sex partner(s).[/quote] it is for genital herpes, is it different for oral?

[QUOTE=ImpSnob;49763044]I'm in a dilemma, I have a small group of friends. I like them all a lot and can have a laugh with them fine but I feel more distant to them over time, I feel like I could never have a serious discussion or connection with them like others do with their friends. I care for them but I dunno, I feel like I can't be serious with them.[/QUOTE] I definitely know where you're coming from. A lot of the times its just something in the head, and a whole host of other reasons, but I know what you mean.

Why am I always so socially anxious and looking for approval everywhere? I was raised by a neglecting alcoholic father that put me in front of a computer screen as much as possible while an abusive neurotic mother raises her voice at me for just about anything. Few friends. I guess communication has been programmed in me to be out lashed self defense, make the other person cry before you do, you know. Wow. [editline]21st February 2016[/editline] Well, this was cathartic.

[QUOTE=Guy Mannly;49769516]The whole concept of soulmates is incredibly childish. No relationship is going to be perfect, no matter who you're with it's going to require effort to maintain a healthy relationship long-term. It's also really pretentious to assume that there's such a thing as being a complete person. If you've already "grown into the person you've meant to be", what's the point of living? Shouldn't life be a constant struggle to improve yourself? How could you possibly be happy knowing there's nothing more for you to gain out of life? And how could you possibly be happy dating someone exactly like you, who holds the exact same opinions as you and responds to things in exactly the same ways you would? That's not what human interactions are for... That's what video games are for.[/QUOTE] no no no see you got it all wrong you already ARE a complete person, that person is just prone to change and growth over time, at this very moment, you are no less 'your self' than you will be in 5 years time, you're just different than you will be in 5 years time, but still just as much 'your self', that never changes, well, until you die anyway No one else will 'complete' you, and there's no such thing as becoming 'more yourself', you always are completely your self at any given moment, you just peripherally grow, learn and change through experiences, finding yourself in different situations, approaching similar situations with better solutions through that peripheral change, but inside, you've always been just as much you as you ever will be. that's why people need to learn to love themselves before they can really get into a healthy relationship, if you can't have a healthy relationship with your already existing complete self, chances are you're not going to have a healthy relationship with another person

[QUOTE=elasticity;49783241]that's why people need to learn to love themselves before they can really get into a healthy relationship, if you can't have a healthy relationship with your already existing complete self, chances are you're not going to have a healthy relationship with another person[/QUOTE] I'd say this is pretty important to understand. Half my life I've hated myself. I run into the love of my life, we both end up in a psychiatric ward in a hospital because I was so messed up. Now, finally I'm growing in a healthy manner and we haven't fought once.

So I've been communicating with this girl for a week now and we've gone out twice. Every Time we go out it's not boring nor awkward, there are plenty of laughs and stories thrown about. We've planned to go out again this coming Wednesday, however one thing that strikes me as peculiar is the fact that she's never initiated the conversation first (When texting) I would go two whole days and not a single "Hey, how you doing" message from her, or any message in fact. However, whenever I do initiate the conversation, she responds without fail and we find ourselves talking until 2 or 3 in the morning. She never declines whenever I ask her out (Although I've never mentioned the word 'date' when asking her out) and it's always just the both of us together. So what do you guys make of this situation ? I'm literally dumbfounded. Am I following the right steps to make her interested ?

[QUOTE=AtomicDongo;49783706]So I've been communicating with this girl for a week now and we've gone out twice. Every Time we go out it's not boring nor awkward, there are plenty of laughs and stories thrown about. We've planned to go out again this coming Wednesday, however one thing that strikes me as peculiar is the fact that she's never initiated the conversation first (When texting) I would go two whole days and not a single "Hey, how you doing" message from her, or any message in fact. However, whenever I do initiate the conversation, she responds without fail and we find ourselves talking until 2 or 3 in the morning. She never declines whenever I ask her out (Although I've never mentioned the word 'date' when asking her out) and it's always just the both of us together. So what do you guys make of this situation ? I'm literally dumbfounded. Am I following the right steps to make her interested ?[/QUOTE] my experience with dating has indicated that most women are garbage at communication

So I went on a date with a girl last wednesday and it went great and all, but it made me realize I'm still hung up over the break-up with my ex. This new girl wanted to meet up again today, but it just felt wrong. Like it was going too fast or something. I did the right/hard thing and told her I wanted to take it slow because I needed time to collect myself (not literally what I said, but whatever) and meet up sometime next week instead. Luckily she said she understood and was glad I was so honest about it, but that doesn't change anything about how I feel about my ex.. :/

[QUOTE=Pascall;49781668]Guy who I was texting stopped texting me the last few days and I'm getting very short answers from everyone I try to talk to the last few hours. I know it's coincidental and I have zero interest in pestering anyone for conversation but man sometimes it kind of feels bad.[/QUOTE] I get the same kind of thing, people message me and start conversations then just at some random point drop it completely and never reply and I stress out over it.

What the hell? I just wanted someone to talk to and maybe hang out with, but after being completely ignored by 6 different friends on facebook, I'm starting to question if I'm just an obnoxious human being that people generally avoid.

[QUOTE=Solodris;49784476]What the hell? I just wanted someone to talk to and maybe hang out with, but after being completely ignored by 6 different friends on facebook, I'm starting to question if I'm just an obnoxious human being that people generally avoid.[/QUOTE] I've started to notice this recently with people I know, it isn't that they don't like you. Its just 90% of people totally suck when it comes to facebook/whatsapp/text messages and just never reply to them.

[QUOTE=Sector 7;49782366]why would you get tested for oral herpes?? 90% of everybody gets oral herpes before they die. Just don't go down on anybody while you have an outbreak.[/QUOTE] Its 1 out of 6, and often there aren't many serious symptoms, but it can be bad for thosewith weak immune systems or pregnant. It can spread starting 24 hours before an outbreak

[QUOTE=da space core;49785199]Its 1 out of 6, and often there aren't many serious symptoms, but it can be bad for thosewith weak immune systems or pregnant. It can spread starting 24 hours before an outbreak[/QUOTE] Genital herpes is 1 out of 6. Oral herpes is 9 out of 10 for fifty-year-olds.

[QUOTE=elasticity;49783241]no no no see you got it all wrong[/QUOTE] Good point, I worded that in a shitty way. What I meant by "incomplete" was that we are constantly expanding our worldview as we gain new experiences - nobody's outlook on life is going to stay completely the same over time. I didn't mean to imply that having a partner is necessary to growth - I was mainly arguing against the idea of having only self-affirming experiences as being the optimal way to go through life.

[QUOTE=Solodris;49784476]What the hell? I just wanted someone to talk to and maybe hang out with, but after being completely ignored by 6 different friends on facebook, I'm starting to question if I'm just an obnoxious human being that people generally avoid.[/QUOTE] Facebook messenger is utter shite. It was by sheer luck I noticed a message from our intern-girl asking me out about 26 hours after she sent the message. And after I noticed it and responded it took HER around 26 hours to notice it. We changed numbers on our first date and switched to WhatsApp for our communications. :v:

Hello everyone, I don't know if this is the right place to talk about this Some days ago I noticed my dad was acting strange, suddenly using his phone more everyday, hiding it whenever my mom or I was near him, yesterday I saw for a sec the chat to who he was talking to, my brother, but that's not enough for him to be hiding it So I know this is privacy intrusion but I managed to get hold of his emails and logged in to his fb account to find out he has been talking to a woman from the US (We're from central america) and flirting with her and even sending her flowers, honestly I don't know how to approach my mom to talk about this

[QUOTE=Fusnax;49786739]Hello everyone, I don't know if this is the right place to talk about this Some days ago I noticed my dad was acting strange, suddenly using his phone more everyday, hiding it whenever my mom or I was near him, yesterday I saw for a sec the chat to who he was talking to, my brother, but that's not enough for him to be hiding it So I know this is privacy intrusion but I managed to get hold of his emails and logged in to his fb account to find out he has been talking to a woman from the US (We're from central america) and flirting with her and even sending her flowers, honestly I don't know how to approach my mom to talk about this[/QUOTE] Definitely not an easy situation to deal with. I can't tell you how you should handle it. One thing worth considering, though, is that if you choose to speak to either of them about it, you are involving yourself in a situation which is otherwise only between your parents. It may cause issues between you and your dad and you may end up being dragged into issues between them which are otherwise not your responsibility to worry about. Cheating is an issue that many couples have had and worked through, and your parents have been together for a long time - it might be better if you let them sort it out themselves.

[QUOTE=Guy Mannly;49786879]Definitely not an easy situation to deal with. I can't tell you how you should handle it. One thing worth considering, though, is that if you choose to speak to either of them about it, you are involving yourself in a situation which is otherwise only between your parents. It may cause issues between you and your dad and you may end up being dragged into issues between them which are otherwise not your responsibility to worry about. Cheating is an issue that many couples have had and worked through, and your parents have been together for a long time - it might be better if you let them sort it out themselves.[/QUOTE] I know, but my mom has no idea, while my dad is sending flowers to another woman from the US, looks like he has no problem sending another woman flowers, but if I ask him for something he suddenly doesn't have money, I have enough evidence of everything he has done, but my mom has to be aware of this, I was planning on talking to an ex teacher who is a psychologist and asking her advice on what to do about this matter (But I have no idea if it is proper to let other people know about the issue, or only let it remain in the house) I just have no idea on what to do, I'm shaking with a mix of anger, sadness

How old are you and how old is your brother/other siblings

I'm 17, about to have 18 in a few months, the other brother he was talking to, is just half brother, by father, and he lives in the other state so I don't see him often, but I'm pretty sure he wouldn't care about the relationship between my dad and mom Edit: Forgot, he is like 24

I'm in a bit of a roommate situation and I could use a bit of advice. First of all I've been living in a 2 bedroom/2 bath apartment with my sister for about 2 1/2 years now. Recently she re-kindled a friendship with an old friend from out of state and have since fallen in love. While I'm really happy for her she also asked him to move in. He seemed like a pretty cool guy at first, did his part cleaning, doing the dishes, etc. But over the past week and a half or so he seems enveloped by it. He cleans all the damn time, constantly steam cleaning the carpets and vacuuming for hours. He's also gotta make sure everything is in its right place. He's constantly shooting me passive-aggressive remarks that I don't do enough, although I've always made sure that in the past the apartment is not a sty. I'm not a messy person; but I admit I'm not the cleanest, either. He's also my best friend, apparently. I didn't know this guy a month ago, and now he's acting as a brother/father figure, constantly telling me what I should do, how I should live, what job I should have. He wants to work out with me constantly, drink and smoke weed with me, and always barges in my room with little warning; especially when drunk. He's always roaming around the house half-naked and smoking on the patio with the door open. We've already had 3 complaints since he's moved in including noise complaints due to his giant sub woofer thumping the walls, and warnings from the property manager that she's smelling weed outside. Bringing any of this to his attention is pointless, because he just calls me an ass hole jokingly and laughs it off. He's always touching me too, patting me on the back, putting his hand on my shoulder when talking to me, and just being generally overbearing. But alas, my sister is in love with him, and he can't exactly go anywhere since he moved across two states to get here. My lease ends April 30 and I'm already applying for a lot of different apartments, although every single one has a wait list of 6-12 months. The biggest problem is that I also suffer from social anxiety. I feel more comfortable alone, and he hates that. He thinks I'm being a complete dick when I tell him that I need my space. I don't feel comfortable around this dude and I need to get the hell out of this situation lickedy split. So the advice I'm asking for is, should I do anything about this? Or should I just keep my distance until I find a new place to live? He's vacuuming even now as I type this. He doesn't stop!!

Met a girl in a nightclub on Friday who -possibly- had a tattoo of a shiba inu on her back. I can't be sure for certain because it was nightclub lighting and I was pretty hammered but it was a conversation starter. We talked for a bit and she ended up giving me her number before we parted ways. Felt pretty good at the time, I've sent her a text since, although she hasn't replied. Bit of a shame, I found her quite interesting and thought we'd at least text a bit, but whatever. I'm not getting caught up on it, like I probably would have done a year ago, because trying to analyse and over think about 'what I did wrong' won't do any good. I know I didn't make any real mistakes, she probably just wasn't interested, which is fine. Meeting her was a nice surprise, but it's probably for the best that it was a non-starter because I really don't have the time or money to be dating somebody right now. [sp]also I'm now pretty certain that it wasn't a doge tattoo, but I couldn't make out the details even when she showed it to me, so I prefer to think there is a girl with meme tattoos out there[/sp]

[QUOTE=Guy Mannly;49785632]Good point, I worded that in a shitty way. What I meant by "incomplete" was that we are constantly expanding our worldview as we gain new experiences - nobody's outlook on life is going to stay completely the same over time. I didn't mean to imply that having a partner is necessary to growth - I was mainly arguing against the idea of having only self-affirming experiences as being the optimal way to go through life.[/QUOTE] then I agree whole heartedly, also the 'having a partner as necessary for growth' thing is more in line with people who perceive themselves as being somehow 'not truly themselves' or fundamentally 'incomplete' unless they're with someone else, or in a sense, basing their entire state of self-content and happiness on the condition of having a significant other in their life; which I feel is a very easy trap of thinking to fall into god I fell into that for a long time and the breakup process really destroyed me for a while, I just didn't know who I was without them, and that was ultimately, a good thing, in that it taught me that I can't rely on someone else for something that I ultimately needed to find within my self ya know

Been troubles by some things recently and I was wondering how do you handle a REALLY long distance relationship well on a emotional level. Like the need to be with the person you care about and so forth.

[QUOTE=Fusnax;49786739]Hello everyone, I don't know if this is the right place to talk about this Some days ago I noticed my dad was acting strange, suddenly using his phone more everyday, hiding it whenever my mom or I was near him, yesterday I saw for a sec the chat to who he was talking to, my brother, but that's not enough for him to be hiding it So I know this is privacy intrusion but I managed to get hold of his emails and logged in to his fb account to find out he has been talking to a woman from the US (We're from central america) and flirting with her and even sending her flowers, honestly I don't know how to approach my mom to talk about this[/QUOTE] When I was 14, my father had retired and was extremely bored so my twin got him onto facebook so he could kill time and maybe meet some new people to hang out with, as we had just moved. He got into stock trading and came up with this bullshit about a stock trading seminar in Las Vegas he wanted to go to. Normally this wouldn't arouse suspicion but my brother who we only get to see once a year was bringing his newborn down for thanksgiving and my dad was leaving town. I called the hotel he was supposedly staying at in Vegas and got told he hadn't checked in and had no reservation there. Called a hotel he typically stays at in Michigan when he visits his mom. Talked the hotel clerk into giving me the details, and he checked in with a woman. I never did anything with that information. Didn't tell my mom or my siblings or anyone else, still haven't. I doubt it would have made a difference at all as my parents would still have gotten divorced in the end as thats not something you can really work out after 21 years of marriage. It's wasn't my place to get involved, which is why I didn't get involved. Your dad made a conscious decision to start flirting with another woman behind your mothers back. (Un)fortunately the situation doesn't really involve you, and in this humble mans opinion, it's best to just stay out of it and remain a neutral party rather than taking sides. [editline]22nd February 2016[/editline] [QUOTE=DrugUnit;49791963]Been troubles by some things recently and I was wondering how do you handle a REALLY long distance relationship well on a emotional level. Like the need to be with the person you care about and so forth.[/QUOTE] Just tellem'. Don't try and guilt trip them into coming to see you but just be honest; tell them you want to be with them, do things with them, kiss them, ect. My girlfriend is 2hrs away and it's tough not being able to see her everyday like I want to. I've spent every weekend with her since we started dating but it's still not enough. All you can do is plan to spend time together and make the most of every second.

[QUOTE=elasticity;49791662]then I agree whole heartedly, also the 'having a partner as necessary for growth' thing is more in line with people who perceive themselves as being somehow 'not truly themselves' or fundamentally 'incomplete' unless they're with someone else, or in a sense, basing their entire state of self-content and happiness on the condition of having a significant other in their life; which I feel is a very easy trap of thinking to fall into god I fell into that for a long time and the breakup process really destroyed me for a while, I just didn't know who I was without them, and that was ultimately, a good thing, in that it taught me that I can't rely on someone else for something that I ultimately needed to find within my self ya know[/QUOTE] Usually part of the reason this happens is because of a lack of other close relationships with family/friends. For some people, their romantic relationships are the most self-validating relationships they have - when the only person you share a close relationship with decides they no longer want to be in that relationship, it can have a huge effect on how you view your likability/social standing. All of us require some level of external validation whether we admit it or not. Our self-worth is largely tied to our relationships with others and how society views us. Historically, our survival literally depended on our social standing and likability (even today, our success is still largely dependent on our ability to fit into society). Our brains are just wired to treat others' opinions of us as a matter of life or death, just because evolutionarily speaking, they were.

this relation is going places, I'm so happy about all of this. that insecurity and not exactly knowing what I wanted has faded a lot. I feel far from comfortable about evolving to a relationship just yet but I really like how this is progressing. I think this'll turn out really good. I am noticing jealousy though and I don't think that's good at all. I did post frequently in this thread back when I was in my last relationship and for those who remember, I'm sure there's not much good to be said. I'm scared my feelings will evolve back to that, that insane jealousy and the need to control her to control the jealousy. I don't really think it'll get to that this time around since I'm awfully aware of how negative all of that is now but it won't change that I'll still feel it inside. I suppose some jealousy is hard to avoid but where does the limit go? is it normal to feel somewhat ill of the jealousy? there's a few things I need to learn but I suppose that comes naturally with time. how often to spend time with her, how cuddly things should be, and so on.

[QUOTE=FlyingDog;49729979]i've been single for 23 years how do i work up the courage to just fucking end it all[/QUOTE] meh, try being asian, you're gonna have a bad time. girls arent into asians :( i'm skimming through the thread reading some posts and i'm like well at least you're not asian!

[B]Update on my dad's cheating [/B] Decided that the right call was to tell my mom, told her I found out who he was talking to and acting all suspicious, a woman like 10 years older than my dad, showed her the proof of the chats, the flowers receipt on amazon, everything, told her not to include me in the conversation when she talked to him. Before talking to my dad, I also told her this woman had a friend in common, the sister of my dad, my aunt, my mom decided to call her and asked what she new about that woman, she told her they were ex long time ago (In their teenage years, this was when she lived in Honduras, my reference by dad has like 54 now and we're talking about teenage like at 20s) and that she talked in a very sweet way to everyone, but my mom send her the chats and my aunt was amazed by how my dad was reacting, so my aunt went ahead to talk to the woman but avoiding any subject regarding my dad or mom, asking her if she has been in love recently, then the woman realized something was wrong and told my dad about what was going on. Then my mom talked to my dad, she make it seem like she did all the work about finding out everything about that secret relationship, asker her who this woman was and he said "She is an old friend who has cancer, that's why I sent her flowers" (LMAO, how stupid can you be) and she told him yeah, old friends don't call you love and all that romantic stuff Then he told my mom that he was doing this because he wanted a better future for me, and he was going to the USA because they have better healthcare for diabetic people, he would divorce my mom and get married to this woman to get USA residency and then he would bring all his 3 sons (Including me) to the USA (Note, every son is from a different mother) Honestly, that is one of the most stupid idea I have ever heard, my dad only graduated from high school, he thinks he will have the same job from here over there. The only job he will get is working as a bricklayer, or cleaning people's houses, and thinks I will be able to go study in college to the USA (lol, at least college is free here) Moments ago he just left the house without saying anything, he thinks I don't know anything, and my mom got his passwords with the help of someone else. I don't know where he went, but he is digging his own grave.

[QUOTE=Crackodile;49794511]meh, try being asian, you're gonna have a bad time. girls arent into asians :( i'm skimming through the thread reading some posts and i'm like well at least you're not asian![/QUOTE] This isn't true. What a ridiculous thing to say.