Super Friendly Social and Love Advice v7 - Bro just do it, She prob likes you - General

[QUOTE=RenegadeCop;49986053]I think vaping is for pussies too afraid to smoke a real cig. It makes you look like a huge tool in my eyes.[/QUOTE] this is hilariously stupid [i]"what is that, a designated driver? Too SCARED to drive drunk, you fucking pussy? Hey everyone, look at this guy minimizing the risks of his drug use! what a poser!"[/i]

[QUOTE=RenegadeCop;49986372]The problem with that, is that driving isn't giving yourself an addiction just for the sake of relieving it. You cannot successfully compare driving, a needed task in our society, to smoking. Unless you have to smoke to get to work and pick up your kids from school that is.[/QUOTE] his point is that not drinking and driving is a safer alternative to drinking and driving, and to make that a more rational statement, not drinking is healthier than drinking. Just like how vaping is healthier for you than smoking cigarettes.

The guy I live with vapes and smokes at the same time and I can't figure out why. He also gets super defensive when I ask about so I don't know.

vaping has more flavors idk

[QUOTE=RenegadeCop;49986571]If you do either, you're dumb though. It's getting an addiction for the sake of relieving said addiction. Vaping to kick off cigs is fine, doing it for the same reasons you smoke cigs is dumb.[/QUOTE] Uh no. Vaping and Cigarettes are the same addiction; Nicotine. The difference is one is less lethal than the other. Cigarettes give you a nicotine fix via tobacco smoke, and Vaping does it via a vaporizer. Vaping is "healthier" than cigarettes and theres more variety to it as well as modularity. With vaping, you have a much wider and more palatable set of flavors, and you also get to control your nicotine intake more precisely. Yea smoking and vaping are both obnoxious but damning people for vaping over smoking with no intention of quitting is dumb. I vape and smoke, but I use my vape indoors so I don't have to go out into sub zero North Dakota winter temperatures to smoke, and also use it in my work truck. [editline]22nd March 2016[/editline] [QUOTE=RenegadeCop;49986644]If I'm aggressive about it, it's because my step-grandad whom I love very much smokes over a pack a day. I went on a car trip with him, and within 4 hours he smoked an entire pack. Those things are going to kill him and there isn't anything I can do to stop it. He has trouble breathing and can't go 30 minutes without getting the urge to smoke. Just don't fucking smoke, guys.[/QUOTE] Ok so why be a dick to people who vape? It's not the Nicotine killing your grandad, its inhaling smoke thats killing him.

Addiction is started for so many different reasons. Not just "to look cool". Stress relief, mental disorder, familial and societal pressures, etc. I highly doubt people put cigarettes or e-cigs in their mouths with full intention to be like "yeah, here I go, gonna purposely give myself lung cancer". It's not as cut and dry as you're trying to say it. I hate smoking too because I'm an asthmatic and I think it's pretty gross but I'm not gonna go around condemning people who do it (as long as they do it responsibly and not in a way that affects strangers around them, i.e., be courteous) because I'm not an asshole.

[QUOTE=RenegadeCop;49986722]They're both giving yourself an addiction to relieve said addiction, they're both dumb to do.[/QUOTE] Nicotine isn't just purely an addiction, theres non adverse side-effects to it believe it or not. For me, it helps manage the huge amounts of stress from my job and helps with my aches and pains. It's also non-carcinogenic. Vaping gets you a nicotine fix without the carcinogens of smoking. Yea Vape culture is as obnoxious and dumb as weed culture, but damning people for using a vape to get a nicotine fix is pretty silly.

[QUOTE=RenegadeCop;49986722] I don't know why anyone would do that to themselves. But as for why I think vaping makes you look like a tool, that's because I see tools at college smoke them and it creates a stereotype in my mind of some guy too afraid to smoke an actual cig, but not too afraid to vape mango-tropical punch. I guess if you're going to have a life-changing addiction, at least it's nice to have it flavored? And it's not like I go out of my way to be a dick to people who vape, I just think less of them in my head. I still treat them with basic respect[/QUOTE] Thats an extremely judgmental mindset to have for people you haven't even met. Like Pascall said, everyone has circumstances you're not aware of. Thinking less of people you haven't met because of things like smoking or vaping is a seriously dickish thing to do and a really bad habit to maintain. [editline]22nd March 2016[/editline] [QUOTE=RenegadeCop;49986770]Don't you get additional stress from a nicotine addiction, until you satisfy it? Are the side effects just the effect of relieving the addiction?[/QUOTE] Depends how addicted you are. I smoke 2 cigarettes a day unless socially, and I smoke one at the beginning of my work day and at the end of it. This is absolutely anecdotal and applies only to me but I'm calmer now that I've started smoking than before I started smoking. It helps tame my severe social anxiety and makes me much more sociable and calmer around people.

The main thing I hate about smokers is always having to sit in the cold outdoors smoking area every time you go out for a drink.

[QUOTE=RenegadeCop;49986722]But as for why I think vaping makes you look like a tool, that's because I see tools at college smoke them and it creates a stereotype in my mind of some guy too afraid to smoke an actual cig, but not too afraid to vape mango-tropical punch. I guess if you're going to have a life-changing addiction, at least it's nice to have it flavored?[/QUOTE] I cannot overstate how completely stupid your attitude is. Nobody is "afraid" to smoke cigarettes. They know that smoking cigarettes causes extreme health issues, and they know that vaporizers do not, and they are therefore choosing to use vaporizers. Is picking up a nicotine habit in 2016 a dumb decision? sure, but you are [i]literally advocating cigarettes over vaporizers[/i] because you think people who vape "look like pussies." You are contributing to the culture which is about to kill off your step-whatever. Don't even try to use that as some kind of emotional scapegoat.

[QUOTE=RenegadeCop;49986832]Am I advocating for cigs over vapes? Oops, I was not meaning to, I don't like either. Just posting what first impressions I get from vapers. I suppose it's from all the exposure to vape culture on my college campus.[/QUOTE] Of COURSE you are. When you go on a public forum and talk about how vaping makes people look like pussies, you are helping to hammer down the concept that there is not a socially viable safe alternative to cigarettes. Peer and cultural pressure is why people start smoking in the first place.

[QUOTE=RenegadeCop;49986832]I don't act on these thoughts, so I think they are fine. My head is my safe place to think anything I want. My actions are what truly speak to people, and I am courteous to all. I hope you don't think I go up to smokers and give them a speech on why I think they're dumb. At most, I'll very noticeably cover up my nose when they blow huge, rude, clouds in my face as I walk by. [/QUOTE] Even if you don't act on those thoughts, you're still a prick for having them. And even if you don't consciously act on those thoughts, you may still do so without thinking about it. Again, being a judgmental ass to people, even if it's only in your head, is a bad habit to have and you should kick it immediately. Having that sort of judgmental, ass-holish, negative outlook on life isn't good for you or anyone else. Grow up and quit being a bigot towards people because you don't like their lifestyle.

[QUOTE=RenegadeCop;49986938]I can see where it has its place, it is safer, but I think that has also made it somewhat popular again as a source of stress relief.[/QUOTE] So what? It's a million times better than drinking or binge-eating. It's better than playing video games sitting down for sixteen hours every weekend.

[QUOTE=RenegadeCop;49986938]Maybe peer and cultural pressure can make them quit? I would rather there be other alternatives to stress relief (i.e. smoking) than a different version of smoking. I can see where it has its place, it is safer, but I think that has also made it somewhat popular again as a source of stress relief.[/QUOTE] You don't really get to choose your source of cultural/peer pressure.

[QUOTE=RenegadeCop;49986974]I don't think so. No one is a judgmental ass until they act judgmental. Just like no one is violent until they act out violent thoughts. Now you [I]could[/I] argue I became a judgmental ass when I posted my first post on smoking, and you would be right. That was a dick thing to say in retrospect and I apologize to anyone offended. Next time I'll keep those thoughts where they should stay, in my head.[/QUOTE] I don't think anyone is offended maybe stupefied I mean, they came out with a version of cigarettes that are more or less fine - some real back-to-the-future shit - and you're disparaging that because of totally petty reasons? what a [i]massive[/i] step backwards.

[QUOTE=RenegadeCop;49986938]Maybe peer and cultural pressure can make them quit? I would rather there be other alternatives to stress relief (i.e. smoking) than a different version of smoking. I can see where it has its place, it is safer, but I think that has also made it somewhat popular again as a source of stress relief.[/QUOTE] How is using a vape for stress relief any different than taking a pill for stress relief? I would rather use a vape than a prescription narcotic alternative. [editline]23rd March 2016[/editline] [QUOTE=RenegadeCop;49986999]It's still bad. Both are bad. I am disparaging of both. Moreso of cigs. [editline]22nd March 2016[/editline] I feel pretty bad about these recent posts, sorry you guys had to see that. Can I load my quick-save?[/QUOTE] How is vaping bad? Nicotine doesn't cause cancer so whats the issue?

[QUOTE=RenegadeCop;49987307]There are much healthier ways to relieve stress, I recommend running or lifting weights. If you live in a rural area, driving can also be very relaxing.[/QUOTE] Again, people have circumstances you're not aware of. Not everyone has a car to drive in or the time/ability to lift weights. Smoking is cheap (in moderation) and isn't time consuming. And as someone who just had a finger broken because I punched a deer who jumped into my car, driving in a rural area isn't wholly safe this time of the year.

jesus christ guys we get it, you vape

50 new posts in this thread. Almost all about vaping. Let's just put an end to this argumenting: Smoking and vaping are more or less then same thing. Some claim vaping to be the better alternative. Except if using flavors that contain diacetyl, that's when it's the worse alternative. And then there is that there isn't any extensive knowledge for vapings side-effects. All in all: Smoking's bad, mkay!

No comment on the smoking/vaping thing, but it's a huge waste of energy to get emotionally invested in every person's problems, especially when most of the time you won't know the whole picture. Nobody's perfect or has a 100% healthy lifestyle - focus on yourself and being the best person you can be rather than shifting that expectation to other people.

Yeah, after years living as a judgemental little shit I learned that life is way less stressful if you just stop juding people you don't even know for things that are only a fraction of their life. Except for stoners, I can't even tell how many times I have seen the word "weed" on a Tinder profile. It's just so boring, they are like "books|traveling|weed" and that just gives the message that weed is 1/3 of your fucking personaliry, and THAT's boring.

Not to change the topic too much, but Tinder is one of those things that it's immensely popular on college campuses. I think it's also a case of availability too. I have my settings to 30 miles because that's as far as I'll consider driving. In my area here in ohio it's a lot of "God|Mudding|Traveling". Whereas when I was in Bethesda, they're talking about slam poetry or veganism. I also redid my profile, added where I worked, go to school, picked some decent photos of me, and use a bio with the right amount of cheese. I'm doing semi ok for the miniscule amount of work required to swipe yes or no. 30+ matches last I counted, 10 I'll hit up and expect about 3 to reply with 1 being the chance we'll exchange numbers or snapchats and proceed to ghost one another after maybe flaking out on a brunch date. Wtf Jessica, you said brunch and now I'm here and you're not. How could you do this to me. No, I'll have double the waffles. Low sugar syrup please I'm on a diet.

So I went on a date with the girl I've been talking about. We went for some pizza and then sight seeing at a nearby medieval town. (Óbidos - look it up. It's really cute). So we got to this little park just outside the castle wall with an amazing view and we kissed. She is so sweet and caring I can't even put into words how comfortable I feel around her. She's visiting me tomorrow. I'm pretty excited. Never met anyone quite like her. She's a very genuine and honest person. Really strong personality. Damn it's hard just to put it into words. So.. I'm seeing someone. :v:

[QUOTE=Sunday_Roast;49976534]God this thread is bringing back some feels. And damn are there a lot of similarities. Close friend and then that "friend" downplaying what had happened.[/QUOTE] tell me about it. Had a similar experience, only I was really drunk, stoned, and still a bit bi-curious and in my heavily experimental, anti-conformist, pro-anarchy phase of life, so even though I rejected the dude about 10 times throughout the night I ended up saying fuck it, he's not gonna give up, might as well go through with it just for the sake of having experienced, at least that way it wouldn't end up being a full on 'rape' situation, right? I don't necessarily regret it, but I do think it was a mistake.. the whole time I just wanted it to be over, and I feel way uncomfortable being around that dude ever since, he was a great friend prior, but now i'm worried he's gonna try and hook up with me even if we just catch up or something and I don't wanna have to keep telling him no all the time, it's fucked, and better left in the past. ofc I still cop shit about it from other friends of mine to this day, they don't or can't understand what that experience was, but they'll still try and hold it over me even though it's such an insignificant part of who I am. Of course these are friends that roast each other regularly so you know, I've learned to just brush it off but for a long time it was a touchy subject for me just reading back that post I find it almost funny how stereotypical/cliche it sounds like what you'd expect to hear someone saying about those 'exes' that won't leave them alone if that's how those people with those 'exes' feel, then damn, I do feel for them. I've been a bit shitty as of late, hit up my big long term ex yet again not too long ago, despite having that moment of clarity of 'no just leave her alone, nothing good will come of it' I still managed to somehow accidentally hit send after typing the damn message, thankfully she just ignored it, I don't want to be putting her through that same shit and truthfully i've probably done so way too many times in the past on that note, i've started thinking about other people again more recently, though I still feel a lack of self-esteem due to life situation to really let myself get close to anyone, i'm reaching a point where I feel a lot more compelled to actually get back into dating and whatever, a lot more confident within my self over all, for now there's a lot of stuff going on (selling our house etc) so i'm pretty tied down with responsibilities at the moment with little room to actually go out and meet new people, let alone having enough money to go to more events and really get out there, but the idea is sitting at the back of my mind, and that's something I haven't had for a very long time. It's motivating, in a good way

[QUOTE=RenegadeCop;49987414]You can always run if you're in a rural area. I do it down my street a few times a week. It takes 20 minutes at most. You just gotta make time for it, put it in your schedule.[/QUOTE] For the 5th time, people have circumstances you're not aware of that don't allow them to do these sorts of things. For example, I have bad knees because of a previous job so extended periods of running are pretty painful, furthermore I work 80-100hrs a week in the summer so I would rather spend those 20 minutes sleeping than running up and down a gravel road. [editline]23rd March 2016[/editline] [QUOTE=Guy Mannly;49987962]No comment on the smoking/vaping thing, but it's a huge waste of energy to get emotionally invested in every person's problems, especially when most of the time you won't know the whole picture. Nobody's perfect or has a 100% healthy lifestyle - focus on yourself and being the best person you can be rather than shifting that expectation to other people.[/QUOTE] I can't stress this enough. Being a judgmental shitlord, even if it's just in your head (which is arguably just as toxic to yourself as being a vocal judgmental shitlord) is a huge waste of time and energy. That negativity and pessimism is only going to drag you down and make you constantly depressed. Grow up and quit judging people you don't know by their appearance.

-snip- I don't wanna turn this into an argument but I don't see how renegadecop was being judgemental at all by recommending healthier means of stress relief.

[QUOTE=elasticity;49990480]-snip- I don't wanna turn this into an argument but I don't see how renegadecop was being judgemental at all by recommending healthier means of stress relief.[/QUOTE] I'm going to sound like a dick by saying this but I don't really know how else to word it. Because nobody is going to come into this thread and see the suggestion "I recommend running or lifting weights" and think "wow! You're telling me all this time, instead of having a life-threatening addiction and putting myself at risk for lung cancer, I could have just been engaging in healthy habits instead?" Every smoker is already aware of the risks of smoking. Everyone knows a good diet and regular exercise are important. Most addicts either do not care or care enough to have already come up with a good excuse for themselves of why they won't do those things. What I was trying to say earlier is that is an emotional drain if you empathize and try to care about every single person you meet who you think is making poor choices. Caring about someone's situation and wanting them to improve it does not change their chances of improving it. It only gives you an unnecessary burden. Wait for people to come to you for support - don't force it onto them when it's unwanted.

[QUOTE=Guy Mannly;49990611]I'm going to sound like a dick by saying this but I don't really know how else to word it. Because nobody is going to come into this thread and see the suggestion "I recommend running or lifting weights" and think "wow! You're telling me all this time, instead of having a life-threatening addiction and putting myself at risk for lung cancer, I could have just been engaging in healthy habits instead?" Every smoker is already aware of the risks of smoking. Everyone knows a good diet and regular exercise are important. Most addicts either do not care or care enough to have already come up with a good excuse for themselves of why they won't do those things. [/quote] I get ya, but at the same time, I just don't see it as being judgemental or negative, i'm saying that as a current smoker and ex-hard drug addict if it wasn't for people like RenegadeCop, I probably never would have kept in mind the thought of alternatives, probably would have gone on smoking meth but you know, whatever, everyone's different. yes it can be annoying to hear it, but at the same time, it's a nice reminder that people do genuinely care, in their own way, and it's also a nice reminder of alternatives, and IM(personal)E, that's what stood out most, and was one of the motivators towards self-improvement, that being said, I get what you mean

[QUOTE=elasticity;49990665]I get where you're coming from, but i'd like to point out that i'm a smoker, and was a heavy drug addict at one point, specifically with meth, regardless, I still don't see his post as being judgemental in a negative way, simply that they were offering alternatives, and i'm saying this as someone who was told to do weights instead of meth at the peak of my addiction, it never once came across to me as a judgemental thing, because as you said, "They're aware of the risks of smoking, they know good diet and exercise is important" the thing is, they may 'know' but they don't truly 'understand' because they haven't necessarily EXPERIENCED the difference, or in same cases they may have, but can't for whatever reason now, I just don't see how it's judgemental at all, because truthfully, it's better than being told 'just go on smoking you'll be right cunt', and i'm being fully serious in saying that, if I DIDN'T have people telling me to go for alternatives, and supporting me when I fucking tried, i'd probably never have broken out of the heavier addictions BUT, that being said, I do understand that everyone is different, that everyone has different circumstances and situations to face, I just don't feel it's worth attacking someone over, because it's not as though RenegadeCop was saying 'stop smoking/vaping' entirely, he was just offering some room for thought, some alternative, in terms of 'stress relief' it'd be one thing if he said 'quit fucking smoking that's no good for you', but if you look at the posts, he clearly just says that 'if you live in a rural area, you have the space to do x as well'[/QUOTE] Sorry to say but he's been extremely judgmental. Even if you think it's coming from a good place, it's still judgmental and the majority of people don't want to fucking hear it.

[QUOTE=Cyke Lon bee;49990714]Sorry to say but he's been extremely judgmental. Even if you think it's coming from a good place, it's still judgmental and the majority of people don't want to fucking hear it.[/QUOTE] -snip- tbh no okay, I get it. Refer to my DM, lets end the arguing about it and get back onto super frendly social and love advice yeah?