[quote=john doe]Well, you may or may not remember me as "that dude who tried to fuck a dog once," and I have another one. It's not nearly as sick and horrible though.
I'm a normal person, I think. Okay, well, no, there's no such thing as a "normal" person but you know what I mean.
Anyways, I've moved on into the later stages of my life, and, well, there was this girl that I honestly think I'm in love with.
After a months of pining over the fact that "maybe she loves me, maybe she doesn't" I finally manned up and asked her. Well, obviously, I got rejected. It sent me into a horrible cycle of depression that caused me to cry several times in public and at school. I couldn't believe that she had liked somebody else. I didn't know how to handle it and I fucked up. I made her feel like shit because she thought my depression was a linked to her, and honestly, it was. I mean, I didn't WANT to upset her but that's how it happened.
Well, I've tried just "being friends" but I know that after what I did she'll never like me "in that way." I actually saw a psychiatrist for personal help on the issue. I still feel like she thinks I'm creepy, and I probably in. I just have no self-confidence and a low self-esteem and cannot seem to find anything "cool" that I'm good at. I just don't know...
Also, as a side note, since this is anonymous, I really hate the user thisispain. I don't know why, he's never done anything bad to me, but it's just the way he posts. He makes snarky and smart-ass retorts to everybody.
So there we go.[/quote]
Can someone repost the fucking a dog story? That seems like it would be a good read.
You're not in the later stages in your life unless you're going to be dying soon.
Also a normal and rational person generally doesn't try to have sex with dogs....
You're depressed over a girl that was never into you. It's things like that that make me say "get over it". It sucks, but there was never anything there so why get yourself down about it?
[quote=john doe]You know when I said "I think I'm a normal human being"?
Yeah, no.
Three things I forgot to tell you, and 2 a pretty weird and 1 is just kind of weird.
The first, kind of weird, one is that I have a compulsion to eat pencils. Like, entire pencils. I start with the erasers and work my way up. I don't eat the lead though, I throw it away. I don't know why, they don't honestly taste that good or even that bad (really, it's just cellulose) but I still eat pencils.
Now for the weird shit.
First off, I think I might be kind of a furry. Naturally, I still find human females sexy (when they are good looking, anyways) but not human males. However, when it's furries, anything goes. Males, females, shemales, whatever. I don't know why. I'm kind of bipolar about it too, because sometimes it makes me horny and other times it doesn't.
Also, I do believe I have a giantess fetish. I don't know why, but it's just appealing to me.
Oh, and one more thing, I have another actual "story" this time.
Once, I was on vacation in Georgia. I went to take a shit right before I got in the shower. I started getting really horny at the thought of the shit, so I reached down and got some. I then rubbed it on my dick and fapped with it. Then, for no sane reason, I started ramming my dick into things. I smeared shit on the cabinets (keep in mind, I didn't own this place, it was a condo we were renting) and then got in the shower and started pissing.
I wiped it up afterwards.
Man, even as I typed that, all could think of was "what the fuck"
I have not any incidents since. I actually get turned off by scat and piss porn.[/quote]
... sort yourself out, or next time you want to shit on yourself i dare you to do a handstand in the shower and just do it down yourself.
[quote=john doe]So I had been thinking about this girl lately. She's the same age as me, and so far we're just friends, but I though there was a possibility to get closer. Anyway, we were both going to bring our other friends to my house to watch some movies and then swim afterwards one day. There had been a really bad storm the night before, so some of the shingles on the roof came off, and I was fixing them at about four thirty in the afternoon, when I thought there was plenty of time before the people came over at six. I had put back about half of the shingles when the girl, let's call her Sarah, comes with her friends a bit early. I figure I can put the rest of the shingles back after we see the movies. Soon enough, my friends had come over too, and the movies were over. A few people had to change into their swimming suits, so they went into the bathroom to change. I was already wearing my suit under my clothes, so I decided to go back on the roof to fix some more shingles. There's a skylight that leads down to the bathroom where people were changing, but the broken shingles were on the other side of the roof, so I couldn't see anyone. The view downwards from the skylight was mostly blocked by the partial wall that separated the sink and the toilet/shower (It's a weird-ass house), so you couldn't see much if you tried. I was done with the shingles, so I began to move back to the ladder, but I caught a glance through the skylight of Sarah changing. I knew I would regret it, but I peered in at her. I didn't see much, but she was stark naked at one point and I couldn't stop watching. She never noticed me, and everything went without incident, but I can't help feeling guilty about how I watched her that day.[/quote]
I've never had a situation like this, but I'd probably have done the same thing then felt weird about it afterwards because it makes you a peeping tom.
Just forget it happened and seek out a relationship, hopefully next time you won't be a creep and she'll take it all off in front of you on purpose!
[quote=john doe]I have an almost fetishistic enjoyment out of disguising. Don't get me wrong, it's not like I put on a hat and suddenly I pop a boner. I suppose I better explain from the beginning.
I'm 20 now, and still a virgin. (yeah yeah whatever) I've got about one pal, but he's got nothing to do with this really. For the last 8 years, I've been affected by a condition called "chronological Delay". Basically, my genes at birth said "fuck growing" and stopped sending the right amount of growth commands, meaning that I was always the shortest guy throughout middle school. I even had to get homeschooled at 4th grade up to high school because of the constant teasing. I imagine this is where this problem stems from, though I've accepted it as a part of my past. I was always the loner guy in high school. Hardly any pals, save for classmates wanting to use me for my brain by pretending to be my friend (and I damn well knew it but I just wanted to be accepted really) and that one guy who hung out with me at lunch. So I started drawing, and, while I'm ok with it, I'm beginning to like pretending to be my online persona rather than myself. It confused me greatly when I began to question my sexual orientation, pondering whether or not a sex change would give me the happiness I've long been seeking. But I kept thinking, "what if I could do it only for a day?" Then it hit me. I was getting enjoyment not out of thinking about being the other sex, it was being someone I was not. The realization hit me like a ton of bricks at about the end of my last semester of my senior year. I enjoyed being something I was not, and the ability to fake a very passable british accent only accelerated the case. It didn't matter what it was. Some race of eyeballs I had drawn up one day to thinking about how I would be an extra in a movie, I've come to the realization that my mind literally takes pleasure in being anyone else but me.
It's an awful feeling facepunch, it really is; Knowing that for the past 8 years, you've only been happy when you're someone else, like a character on a video game or trollbaiting people on omegle. I don't know. I'm alright with my existence, I suppose. I have a steady job, I know what my hobby is and my life goals are, but... I mean jeez. I just don't feel real enough to my mind to derive enjoyment out of living as myself. (side note, I have tried getting a date several times, but things always go wrong; I got stood up on my first one, and the subsequent ones always get cancelled).[/quote]
If you're interested in being someone you're not, and you have thought about being an extra why not pursue acting? You get to be someone else professionally! That seems like it'd be a perfect fit for you.
Or doing undercover things, but that's a little more intensive than acting...
Dating doesn't always work for everyone, you might have to approach the dating game a different way.
[quote=john doe]So basically, after a couple months of taking a depression medication I wasn't able to get a refill on my medication for a couple days. I just decided I would be fine without it. After not taking it for a couple days I realized how badly chained up I am with this. I am not depressed when taking it, but I am just blank, I'm not happy or sad and I just don't feel much emotion at all. If I don't take it, I am usually depressed but I would rather feel a bad emotion if any. I have estranged friends because it's hard to keep a conversation without any emotion really. It helps but I don't know what the point is taking it if I'm just going to sit there blankly for the whole day. It's either just sit there or be depressed with random spurts of happiness two times a day.[/quote]
Sounds like you were taking too high of a dosage. Anti-depressants are supposed to help you regulate your mood, not wipe it out entirely.
When I started taking anti-depressants it was a 10mg dose that got increased to 80mg (the highest for this drug is 100mg). I stopped taking it for almost a year, then got back on it at 40mg as an anti-anxiety since I no longer feel symptoms of depression.
Talk to your doc and see if you can get back on at a lower dosage. Say you still want to be able to feel.
[quote=jane doe]I have terrible teeth and it has ruined my life. It sounds ridiculous, but my entire life I've neglected my dental hygiene, and now I'm paying the price for it. My teeth are rotten and broken, and I've had
several infections. I know it's disgusting and weird. I know it was a dumb mistake, but I can't take it back now. I feel like a disgusting subhuman. I'm ashamed of myself and how disgusting I am.
I'm too embarrassed to see a dentist, and I couldn't really afford it anyway. People around me don't know about it, but with the inside of my mouth in this state I feel like I could never kiss a girl or have a girlfriend. It's really hard knowing I've screwed myself over with my own stupidity and neglect.
I'm also a complete failure in every other regard in life. I never finished highschool, I have no job, I've never had a girlfriend, never kissed a girl. I have no friends since I've withdrawn into myself
over the past few years. I'm not creative or intelligent. I know a lot of this sounds angsty and lame, but I can't get past it. When I critically and logically examine myself, I see a person I hate. A person
I could never reconcile with the person I wish I could become.
Needless to say I contemplate suicide often. It sounds even more pathetic, but one of the main considerations that keeps me from shooting myself on any given day is my cat. If I ever leave the house
she cries and becomes anxious until I come back. How would she cope with me leaving forever? She's the only thing that's shown me any love or consideration for years and even if she's just a cat I can't
bring myself to do that to her.
I typed this up in notepad and I'm not going to check it for spelling/syntax etc. because I would probably lose resolve and end up deleting it.
I wish I could say it was cathartic typing all of this up, but it really just made me feel even more sad and pathetic.
I guess that's all. Thanks for reading[/quote]
I'm not sure if you're male or female based on the name attached to the e-mail, and then the contents. If me labeling this Jane offends you let me know discreetly and I'll change it.
Teeth are a funny thing. I just had my first cavities identified and filled a few weeks ago, this is after living my entire life with "perfect teeth". I was originally told I wouldn't have to get my wisdom teeth out, and now I have to get my wisdom teeth out as well since apparently I have cavities between my wisdom teeth and rearmost molars.
While my teeth aren't terrible, I still feel similar. I should have cared more for my teeth especially when I look at people like my father who has crowns on most of his teeth and has had countless root canals, or my grandmother who's worn dentures since 1990 (she's now in hospice and the caretakers lost her dentures wtf).
You can still kiss people if they are interested in you, open mouth kissing isn't a must. And you can still repair your mouth.
Suicide isn't the way to go. At least you have your cat to take care of. And remember that if you do wind up killing yourself it'll be the last gift you give your cat because she'll probably eat you (starting with your eyes).
[quote=john doe]Finally, it's summer break for me. I am finally free from the burdens of Junior year in high school. I think there is a lot to confess, it's my first confession.
I'll start back to my sophomore year. I am dating this girl today, but the story I have about her makes me question if I should be with her or not.
You see, she is obsessed with me. I mean the day she found out who I was, she started asking around about what I like and dislike. Of course this question will be asked a lot," Is she hot?".
She's has brown hair, brown eyes, and tan skin. About 5 foot 6. C cups. Little make up is necessary. Your imagination is the limit.
This is the first and only girl I have dated. I've have always been deathly afraid of asking out a chick. I was 16, didn't know anything about girls. I never kissed a girl.
So the first date my girl friend, her ginger sister, and her ex-boyfriend I go out to see some movie. First mistake. Ginger and her ex-boyfriend are making out for the entire movie. While I am just holding my lady's hand... It's not that I didn't want to kiss her. It's that I didn't know what to do if I had to.
I don't even remember the movie, but then my girl friend said," Awwww they didn't kiss...". If that wasn't a sign I didn't know what was. Suave me leans in.
Here is what I learned:
1. Girls don't taste like peaches.
2. Damn could she kiss.
I come home and feel like I could vomit. She wasn't repulsive. It was what she said afterwards," I love you." Fuck. So because I'm stupid, I couldn't say "I don't love you, but you did get the pop corn out of my teeth. So thanks."
I have been dating this girl for about a year and half. I don't know what to say to her. I don't love her. It is extremely awkward. I've lost a lot of friends who are girls because my girl friend is jealous of me talking to them. She is scared that I am looking at them.
That I am going to some how charm them into having sex with me. However, she can maintain be friends with guys and I don't even care.
It gets even better.
I tried breaking up with her. I really tried. She said," I'm going to go out and swallow a bunch of pills."
And at this point I'm afraid, I can't break up with her for fear that she is at harm to herself.
I'm going to California with my family. (On a side note where are good places to go in to California? We're already going to Yosemite.) She is having knee surgery (basketball injury she had when she was 8 and she didn't know it until now, she has a tear in her knee).
TLDR
I can't exactly break up with my girlfriend for two reasons.
1. She is super obsessed with me, and would kill herself.
2. If I did break up with her she could say," He broke up with me while I was recovering from my surgery" and thus forever ruining my chances getting with another girl for my senior year.
Help FP, you're my only hope. [/quote]
I'm going to leave this one mostly up to fp.
The only thing that I'm going to say is you can't hold yourself accountable for your girlfriend's mortality. Chances are she won't actually kill herself anyways!
[quote]
TLDR
I can't exactly break up with my girlfriend for two reasons.
1. She is super obsessed with me, and would kill herself.
2. If I did break up with her she could say," He broke up with me while I was recovering from my surgery" and thus forever ruining my chances getting with another girl for my senior year.
Help FP, you're my only hope.[/quote]
Talk to her parents about it and talk to the school counselor.
[QUOTE=ventilated;36249558]A normal and rational person generally doesn't try to have sex with dogs....
[...]
... sort yourself out, or next time you want to shit on yourself i dare you to do a handstand in the shower and just do it down yourself.[/QUOTE]
To be quite honest, you don't seem too sympathetic with people with weird fetishes or young people being depressed for seemingly no apparent reason. We all may have had at least one heavily hormone influenced period in our lives where you either get really depressed or suddenly wonder if you are gay. There are also people out there with some out of the ordinary fetishes which may provoke them to do quite disturbing things like covering their walls with shit or fuck their dog, but keep in mind it is not something abominable that needs to be stopped. Sure, it sounds sick, but we all end up having some weird fantasies (e.g. furries) and usually it just happens temporarily. The time it takes to realize it may vary, but the outcome is usually the same; thinking about what you are doing and start having sex with human females again. It is quite comparable to other common problems like suicidal thoughts, just a bit more natural.
I did some weird stuff in the throes of early puberty, but I can pretty confidently say that I never felt the urge to bed a dog or soil myself.
As far as some genuine advice to the creepy girlfriend bloke: cut it off. If you're feeling this strongly that ending the relationship is what's best for you, then pack up and call it a day. It sounds a bit cold, but you don't owe the lady anything, and this "I'll kill myself" stance she's taken is offensive and childish. Does she also hold her breath and stomp her feet until you get her whatever it is she wants?
The girl either needs some serious help, in which case you should do as ole' vent said and talk to a school counselor or somebody about it, or she's just being selfish and uncool. Either way, she's not your charge, and you shouldn't allow yourself to be used and manipulated and tricked and bullied into dating her just because she has attachment issues.
Just talk to her and tell her that you have the damn right to stay in touch with other girls, and that threatening you with suicide again will result in you breaking up immediatly?
It is never OK for your someone to threaten suicide based on your actions. I'd say speak to a counselor or parent about it. Especially hers. You don't have to love her, but her parents do, and something tells me that even if you don't really like them, or for any other reason, they'd want to be the first to know about any and all issues going on with their daughter.
Exactly. I had an ex that would call me threatening suicide months after we broke up, I would just call her house and tell her mom.
You'll feel like a dick, but their parents will appreciate knowing rather than losing a child.
[QUOTE=ventilated;36179109]
That, the one furry that got pissed and really started back pedaling tells me his fp username, and more in the next post.[/QUOTE]
We're still waiting on that :(
my ex once told me that she was going to kill herself, and i simply responded with an ice-cold [I]okay.[/I]
i told her that i of course would be sad if she went through with it, but that it was totally up to her if she was going to do it. free will, right?
in the end she stopped acting like a fucking child and didn't do it. mostly people threaten to do that kind of shit just to get attention.
[QUOTE=ventilated;36264441]Exactly. I had an ex that would call me threatening suicide months after we broke up, I would just call her house and tell her mom.
You'll feel like a dick, but their parents will appreciate knowing rather than losing a child.[/QUOTE]
I don't know if i'm fucked in the head. But i'd actually show up at the address and talk to all parties. Providing that the girl in question either has been or has become reasonable over time. People will never be (have traits) what they can't become again (that you can't recall).
I dunno. I'm fiercely passionate about people i used to know or know. I'd always open the door for anyone asking and hear them out. I guess i could be seen as exploitable. But to be totally honest. I'd rather be shamely exploited 100 times, than leave a former or current acquaintance in perill.
There's a long story about just WHY i do this. I might do a confession on it, but it won't be easy to deduct. (it's really hard not to "lolisentone")
[editline]13th June 2012[/editline]
Wow SHIT! I'm in the OP?
Dude, Vent. You don't need to sweat it that your style is different than Hezzy. Just stick to anonymity and keep responding appropriately. So far it's better than Hezzy IMO.
I do my best bby ;)
I don't like to update with any less than 3 confessions, and I just got a third!
[quote=jane doe]I hate the way men smell, they smell so bad to me. It's not sweat or anything like that just the man smell. When one is near enough to me for me to get a nose full I want to be sick. At the gym is the worst, I swear the men's section smells worse than pigs [/quote]
assuming this is a Jane as it's about the way men smell.
General man musk [B]is[/B] pretty gross. I try to keep my odors neutral if possible.
The mens locker room is always a disgusting place, both in cleanliness and odor. I do my best to avoid public changing rooms because of this. Mainly because people leave sweaty gym clothes in there and they ferment and get even grosser.
To be fair, pigs don't smell that bad most of the time.
[quote=john doe]I feel a constant need to convince myself I'm better than everyone else. That confession at the bottom of page one was also from me, so as you can imagine it's causing more of a conflict than I made out.
I just feel like everyone is challenging me to be better than I am. It makes me say dumb, self-centred things, but every time I speak I worry my entire self-image is going to unravel, leaving me as just a neurotic, manipulative kid with a chip on his shoulder and a pampered life. Every time someone says that they're good at something, I ask myself if I could pick that up too, and be better than they are - not for the sake of learning a new skill, but to know that there's someone beneath me. Almost everything I've done was to convince myself that I'm better than everyone else; I picked up writing because it was easy but it made me better than everyone else in my classes, I got better at algebra because my friends (or at least the people I called friends) were in higher classes than me. Every positive comment makes my head grow bigger and bigger, but the moment I hear someone might be seeing through my disguise I'm left deflated and constantly doubting myself. This cycle is so obvious to me, but I try and forget it because it makes me out to be more flawed than I like to think I am.
It feels good to say this, but it's tearing me apart, and sooner or later I know I'm going to go a bit crazy and everyone will know. I don't want that to happen, but I doubt myself too much to try and stop it.[/quote]
Sounds like a basic competitive nature. I'd suggest finding something to actually compete with and try to excel at it. Something where it's okay to be competitive like sports, eating, cards, video games.
If you use your competitive edge in something like that, maybe it will wear off in school and allow you to float to the average if that's what you want???
[quote=john doe]HI there Vent. I'm usually very tough spoken, profane, passively aggressive on FP and i'll only say here. You guys made the monster that i became and i regret it often. I don't know how to reform myself, but i promise that i'll keep working on it.
I'm not a rating whore, but people often call me out for being an unlikely and disagreeable fuck. So far, my rating statistic shows that i'm agreeable and dumb (incomprehensible or "i don understand", as i interpret Dumb ratings.) So i tend to take it to heart, yet dismiss the abusive wordings. I'm a Winner-whore. But only in discussions/arguments that i'm very involved in.
To the real deal here. I'm not an alchoholic, but to my joy and sadness, i discovered that the tingly feeling of childhood glee erupts in me when i drink. In other words. I drink to substitute the joy you get from seeing someone you care for, opening your heart to someone, deep friendship, kissing, loving, dancing and finally: I haven't let my personality roam totally free since i was 12 or 13. I was the center of everyones attention in a "whoah, he's a good time and reasonable" way. People still tell me "whoah, dude. You're fucking chill bro. You're not narcissistisk.... At least, i've never seen you attempt a joke for the sake of the joke." One guy, who's a really egocentric type once got drunk and went off about how i'm an idol for not worshipping the ego and shit. But what it really is, to me, is that i don't drink a lot. I never do casual shit and i never allow myself to fall in love. Yet i'm totally casual and random by nature. Some people don't get me. That's cool. I'm designed like that. But most people laugh like "dude! AWESOME!!! LOLOLO!" while others become abusive. I don't know what or who i am...........
What i'm saying is. I drink to substitute the fact that i have no real best friend, i haven't got anyone to spend time with after school or work, i haven't got any outside real life experiences with work, girls or socializing. I'm generally loved by people who don't know me well, but isolated as soon as they get to know me. I'm a nightmare, yet your sweetest dream. I'm probably bipolar lol. I'm not suicidal, but my dad says i'm in a middle depression for my fourth year. he suggests travel, yet my mom insists on continuing my education.
I'm, a seriously emotional guy and i don't know if it's a handicap or a bonus because it's the same thing that keeps me earthbound, but also keeps me from people. i don't wanna hurt. But it's not that i don't wanna. I'd love to be emotionally torn apart or at least shamed in public... just to feel what it's like to not give a shit for once. I hang myself in every detail and i've become bitter and isolated from it. I don't go out because i loathe to hear all that i did wrong. Even the smallest detail can sent me cramping and moaning for a month.
Maybe i need a shrink or maybe i need to get the fuck over it....... halp![/quote]
I hope you forgive me for leaving out your post script. I'll sum it up by saying "thanks bro!"
Emotions are a tough thing to deal with especially when you're cautious about being yourself. I remember I kept most of my emotions bottled up because I just didn't want to let anyone in, and it made me worse. I would have panic/anxiety attacks that I regulated by finishing school and getting on medication. School is the worst for angsty teens and young adults, just look at how much pressure is on them (it's easier to look back and realize the amount of pressure that existed at one point in your life when it gets easier, and it can get easier if you work your butt off).
Drinking to substitute a best friend might not be the right decision. A better idea would be to find a friend and drink with them. Another issue that I had was dealing with best friends. My girlfriend talks about her best friend like they're sisters, and I talk about my best friend like we're bros. Being bros is totally different than being sisters. I sent my best friend (currently living on the opposite side of the country) a text message that said I missed him and wished we could be gal pals. Sure, I'd be fine syncing up my "period" with my best friend, I want to be there for him and I want him to be there for me in any situation, when "bros" usually are just there to get your back in times of desperation.
The last time I had a real heart to heart with him was close to three years ago now when I made a huge mistake and needed serious advice.
This probably isn't what you want to hear, but if you're drinking alone, stop that. Go hang out with people, and allow yourself to be yourself. The reason people push you away after you let them in is because you changed who you were in the course of time that they knew you. People change, yes, but not dramatically!
I was a real hardass on the forums and generally hated the last time I was a mod. After that I spent a long time not visiting these forums at all, that was probably healthy to take a break, then I sequestered myself only to the gold member forum, only now am I venturing out of it. Now I only visit a few times a day, some days not at all, and am so much more laid back because I don't really care anymore. FP isn't life and death, it's a web forum. It's a decent place to occasionally e-meet decent people. Stop caring about ratings.
[QUOTE]I hate the way men smell, they smell so bad to me. It's not sweat or anything like that just the man smell. When one is near enough to me for me to get a nose full I want to be sick. At the gym is the worst, I swear the men's section smells worse than pigs[/QUOTE]
And you can't even make bacon from men!
...or
can you?
Ulysse, it looks like your e-mail address got phished, I'd change your password if I were you...
This is the last call for confessions. If I receive any more after a few days they'll be saved for the next iteration of this thread.
why did this die?
I love this thread.
I have a friend who once told everyone she was committing suicide and although I was almost entirely sure she wasn't going to, I had a very large worry since she apparently had been raped the month before and after this incident she learned that she had diabetes.
She didn't go through with it though
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