[QUOTE]I have had a girlfriend for about 3 weeks now, and it is the first girlfriend I have ever had (I am 19). But I always see guys on here Facebook complimenting her, so I get really fucking pissed off. One day when she came over with her laptop I decided it would be best if I put a keylogger on it to see what she is saying in chat to the guys that compliment her. I still don't regret this. Anyways when she came back over with her laptop I couldn't get access to what she was typing without her noticing, so I got her a cup of beer with milk added to it, I thought it was a good idea because she was lactose intolerant so she would have to take a shit lol. Anyways, she didn't end up taking a shit, but she had to take a phone call from her dad who was in the hospital (thank god). The only thing I found that she said was a few passwords (which I will use if she breaks up with me, because I feel like the bitch doesn't like me that much) and a suicide hotline google search or some shit. I don't know if I should confront her about it or not. Anyways that is my confession[/QUOTE]
I know I'm replying to an old confession but fuck's sake that sounds really fucking sociopathic.
If you're willing to do something like those things to someone you care about, you should think twice before being in a relationship.
Jesus man, learn to respect other's privacy at least.
[QUOTE]
I have had a girlfriend for about 3 weeks now, and it is the first girlfriend I have ever had (I am 19). But I always see guys on here Facebook complimenting her, so I get really fucking pissed off. One day when she came over with her laptop I decided it would be best if I put a keylogger on it to see what she is saying in chat to the guys that compliment her. I still don't regret this. Anyways when she came back over with her laptop I couldn't get access to what she was typing without her noticing, so I got her a cup of beer with milk added to it, I thought it was a good idea because she was lactose intolerant so she would have to take a shit lol. Anyways, she didn't end up taking a shit, but she had to take a phone call from her dad who was in the hospital (thank god). The only thing I found that she said was a few passwords (which I will use if she breaks up with me, because I feel like the bitch doesn't like me that much) and a suicide hotline google search or some shit. I don't know if I should confront her about it or not. Anyways that is my confession[/QUOTE]
[video=youtube;BNtcWpY4YLY]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BNtcWpY4YLY[/video]
[quote=not sure if it's john or jane doe]so here's a story for you, FP. you see, for the past years I've been realizing something, I've been slowly realizing that every day I wake up at the same hour to take the same road to go to the same place with the same people and do the same thing just to come home tired of it all to go to bed at the same hour, to repeat this all over again 6 days a week (With one day off I just spend playing videogames anyway). I don't have a girlfriend, I don't have that many friends, I'm not all that sociable, not particularly smart or good looking, I have an average income, an average house, an average car and an average life.
so as you may see, my life has become an endless cycle of neverending recursion. in other words, it's the same shit over and over again. and it has been this way since a couple of years ago. and I am not happy with this.
and I tried to change it. it sounds like I don't put enough of an effort on it but I do, constantly I would find myself taking the longest route home from college, to force some variation. I would find myself eating disgusting crap that my friends challenged me I wouldn't eat. I would often find myself drinking alone, trying pot and cigarettes only to quit on them after realizing they're forcing yourself to do the same shit over again, therefore becoming part of the problem. It was at this point that I decided that finding some variation was definitely more important than my boring ass life itself. so I was sitting on my car, driving the same highway I take every day of my life, and I decided, because that seemed like the greatest thing to do at the moment, I decided I would just, crash my car, get that shit totaled with me inside, just to see what would happen.
and I did it, op. I sent my car in a wild swerve against the right concrete defense on a highway exit, I lost control of the vehicle entirely, and I was doing 80-90 mph, so the car immediately begins to skid across the road (further aggravated by the fact I hit the brakes) towards the left bound concrete barrier, which was one of this Y shaped ones, so the wheels of my car rode up on it, consequently flipping the bitch up. And I was flying through the air, and for a second there, I was entirely at peace, nirvana, my mind was in blank, yet I was at ease, I forgot whatever the fuck has driven me to this point, and I was simply floating due to sheer inertia, I swear to god, that was the best second of my life, followed then obviously by the roof of the car hitting the concrete at 80mph and the car sliding down the road, flipped over, glass breaking, metal crashing, creaking, tearing and breaking. The noise was loud, horrible and overwhelming, and the pain from when the car hit the ground again had me numb and dazed. eventually the car came to a stop, and I released myself from the safety belt, falling down on the roof of the car which was now the floor, while I scavenged around broken glass to find my wallet, my cellphone, and some documents related to the car. A passerby pulled over and helped me out, as the first smash against the concrete barrier collapsed the door on me, I crawled out of the car on my hands and knees, through the back door. The police took 3 minutes to get there, the firemen 6. In 10 minutes, the area became surrounded by both public servants and curious onlookers. After an hour, my wrecked car was towed away, and I took a long ass walk home.
And nothing happened to me, OP, fucking nothing, no broken arm or leg, no missing tooth, no brain damage, spine damage, no whiplash nothing, I was fucking pristine, better than I was before I even got IN the car. The car was destroyed beyond repair, I collected the full amount it was insured to by a week, claiming my crash was due to hazardous road conditions and that I swerved to avoid a pothole in the highway. suckers believed me, I bought another car, every day I still wake up at the same hour to take the same road to go to the same place with the same people and do the same thing just to come home tired of it all to go to bed at the same hour, to repeat this all over again 6 days a week (With one day off I just spend playing videogames). But that second, when while everything went to hell and my life was so near the end, that second made it all so fucking worth it, and even though I now know for sure I can't win and can't lose and can only break even, I now have the sweet relief that I can just choose to not play the fucking game, and I now know of the sickly sweet aftertaste you get when you do exactly what you're not meant to, when you recklessly endanger yourself and forget about your instinct, you forget about the principle of self-preservation and you just jump right in and do something batshit. Nothing can stop you when you forget about consequences, when you go all-in on the world. Who cares if you lose, you'll be dead then.[/quote]
I've had those visions while driving down the highway of crashing my car, never acted on it though.
I really hate saying to almost all of these that you should seek help, but you should seek help.
[quote=john doe]Fuck. This is a hard one. Alright, so where do I start?
A while ago, I met a group of people on Steam. Not gonna give out their names or anything for privacy reasons, but one person who is relevant to the story's name is Oblivion Crusader.
This is where things start to take a turn. This guy...fuck, I don't even know where to start. He's just so sexy. So unbelievably, incredibly attractive. I've only even heard his voice once, but it was god damn mesmerizing. It was like Morgan Freeman was singing the most beautiful ballad in the world, with an angelic choir on the side. I've never even seen his face, but I imagine it to be more rugged than a mountain. His face has just the perfect jawline, with full lips and a small nose, but not too small. I have this recurring dream. It starts out with me on a beach, and I just feel so alone that i start to cry, when suddenly I hear a noise. I look up, and see him there. He's fucking ripped, eight-pack proudly displayed in front of me, bulging biceps and rippling muscle covering his legs from the top of his smooth thighs to his soft calves, made strong by his years of marching in the Drum Corps. He never says anything, just looks me straight in the eye and I can tell for sure that I'm lost. I launch myself at him, frantically scrabbling to get to that god damn delicious mouth, feeling the heat of his tounge on mine. I'll cut out here before it gets too heated, but it quickly turns into one of the most vivid, realistic lovemaking sessions I have ever experienced in a dream. I never finish it without the bed getting a good soak.
Only problem is, I'm almost sure he doesn't feel the same way. He's currently going out with a guy named Johnny Cage, and once again, I'm sure he wouldn't be interested with somebody like me, no matter how much I desperately want to feel his firm grip on my plump butt as I whinny in pleasure. The most I can do is dream. I feel so sad. So alone. Everything I have ever wanted in my entire life is at my fingertips, and yet it is simultaneously millions of miles away.
Advice?[/quote]
Start joking with him and ask him to cyber (as a joke), if he says yes take it to the next level and cyber with him. Eventually use voice to do it. Who knows where it will lead. I don't want to hear about your antics though.
[quote=john but eventually maybe jane doe] Bluh dunno why I'm doing this, just need to vent to someone/something I suppose.
I'm having this huge conflict of character, or whatever I don't know what to call it.
It's like half of me wants to be male, and primarily gay, etc, and the other half wants me to be female, and primarily straight (for the gender)
I don't know what to do, and it makes me wish I was just fine with one gender, and one orientation, it's really confusing and distressing, I just don't know any more.
It feels like no matter which one I choose to be, I could never truly be happy.
I fear to ask anyone in person on what I should do, or ask for help/someone to talk to, this state (one of the southern ones) isn't really accepting of my bisexuality, and trans people are just laughed at.
I guess that's it, without going into a huge bout of backstory and stuff. Can't even tell my own folks, guess I'll be closeted up for as long as I live here.[/quote]
Tough stuff. I'd call it a conflict of gender and there's another thread here that could help you sort that out.
I'm guessing that you're in high school, and making any major life decisions in high school is a tough thing to do. When you apply for colleges look for some in north-eastern states or western states. Even in the south there's bound to be some kind of organization for LGBTQ or whatever label they slap on sexually confused individuals now. They'll be able to help.
Either way your interest is in men, so at least you've figured that out. I don't know much about being transgendered since I'm not, but I imagine there are some sexual complications that arrise. If you do that whole gender transformation you will not be able to have biological children.
That's a huge fear to me, not being able to have my own child when I'm ready. If you give up the nuts say goodbye to being the male parent, and you will never be the biological female parent. That's the hardest thing in my mind.
My girlfriend and I have discussed adoption in case one of us can't have kids, and we'd both be fine with it, but we would still like to have our own children.
I guess there are pros and cons to both sides. You can be a gay man and still have kids with a third party mother, or you can do the same if you have a sex change.
There are a lot of options to weigh out and I'd suggest giving it some thought and waiting until you have some people that you can confide in comfortably before making a permanent decision like that.
[quote=john doe]I stole some tights. I wear them sometimes when I just don't have anything else to arouse me. I get a boner everytime. I'm not really proud of that. But I always thought of myself like more of a girl inside. I'm glad this is an anonymous confessional, I really don't want people to know about that tights thing. But you know, whatever keeps you amused, facepunch. Oh and this just in. It's not the metaphysical act of wearing tights and its symbolic gender-wise that gives me boners, no, it's really the feel of tighty tight tightness and having all this nylon comfyness going on while I fap. If that makes me any less of a sick fuck.[/quote]
I know that there are videos and images of people on the internet having sex in tights and masturbating in tights. You should look those up, they'll probably tickle your fancy ;)
I stole a unitard once and wore it as part of a halloween costume. I'm glad I didn't get aroused while wearing it because I wore it to a party and it would have all been hanging out. Not that I'm ashamed of my dick, it's just not something I'd like to display for the world to see through my costume!
More reasons why I will never be a super hero or a professional wrestler. Imagine popping a boner while wrestling with other oiled up dudes.
Another [url=http://facepunch.com/showthread.php?t=1179499&p=36161803&viewfull=1#post36161803]SOLID GOLD ONLY confession![/url]
[QUOTE=ventilated;36154764]Yes.[/QUOTE]
oh shit
[editline]1st June 2012[/editline]
[QUOTE=~ZOMG;36155010]This guy isn't banned yet though.[/QUOTE]
oh ok
You are allowed to talk extremely vaguely about the gold only posts.
Things such as "omg i can't believe that person said that" or "that post was really sad" or "that post was awesome!"
nothing about the details of the post.
Unfortunately that is the only way to abide by the rules.
So, you're only allowed to talk about how "Holy shit that one was really x, glad I got to read it!" and tease everyone who didn't?
yeah, or don't. leave remarks in the gold member forum.
actually i'll make a gold only thread instead of just posting them where i've been posting them.
yeah ill shut up now
Gold only confessions posts can be found [url=http://facepunch.com/showthread.php?t=1187856]at this thread[/url].
[editline]1st June 2012[/editline]
In honor of that new thread [url=http://facepunch.com/showthread.php?t=1187856&p=36163339&viewfull=1#post36163339]here[/url] are two new gold only confessions!
Show our blue brethren some respect, ventilated. Except for one that I really liked, all the gold confessions are lame. Just post them here, only letting golds read them is stupid.
Gold members deserve some perks and the rest of the forum will have to deal with it.
Stop complaining. I will post most of them here, but some I will post in the gold member thread.
That is just how it's going to go unless garry asks me to do otherwise.
I would call a balan for backdoor moderating, but this is totally worth the boostar, folks.
IIRC gold only confessions were ones that were PM'd, so if you really want to stop the gold only gig, just email rather than PM.
[QUOTE=ventilated;36163911]Gold members deserve some perks and the rest of the forum will have to deal with it.
Stop complaining. I will post most of them here, but some I will post in the gold member thread.
That is just how it's going to go unless garry asks me to do otherwise.[/QUOTE]
ventilated closed ventilated's thread called ATTN NEW GOLDS: you probably got your gold membership on sale, you are worth less than half the other new golds (also worthless) in The Gold Members Forum.
Just thought I'd let you know, you're probably the only Gold that gives a shit. Honestly, this isn't even a perk, even if you guys for whatever reason did deserve them any more than us. I'm also now interested in the confession buttered_toast mentioned.
Why are you advertising the gold confessions here? Really though, the gold only is unneeded.
You know who was cool...
Hexxy
Yeah the gold only situation is just silly bullshit, there should be one central thread for this, not two, simple as that.
[QUOTE=ventilated;36163911]Gold members deserve some perks and the rest of the forum will have to deal with it.
Stop complaining. I will post most of them here, but some I will post in the gold member thread.
That is just how it's going to go unless garry asks me to do otherwise.[/QUOTE]
Man shut your bitch ass up fool I remember back when facepunch didn't advertise gold member shit like this, you were there you should know
Stop this faggy ass attitude yo, you are from 2005 and not some punk moderator from 2010 who wants to please garry anyway possible
start reppin 2005 dude.
relax, this is how it is.
[editline]2nd June 2012[/editline]
I'm really not trying to be a dick. I'm just giving a little perk to having gold membership. Deal with it, sorry dudes! I still post most of them here!
[editline]2nd June 2012[/editline]
I'm really not trying to be a dick. I'm just giving a little perk to having gold membership. Deal with it, sorry dudes! I still post most of them here!
[editline]2nd June 2012[/editline]
I'm really not trying to be a dick. I'm just giving a little perk to having gold membership. Deal with it, sorry dudes! I still post most of them here!
[QUOTE=Vodkavia;36166154]Can we get an actual reason for golds receiving additional benefits? They already have their own subsection, bigger animated avatars (If I remember correctly blues got their avatar dimensions SHRANK for no real reason at all), searching, gold text and whatever the hell else they get. Please tell me how giving someone money in exchange for a service entitles them to benefits. They don't "deserve" anything, they got what they have because they PURCHASED it. They aren't a bunch of angels that came down from yellow text heaven.[/QUOTE]
You're just a lowly Blue peasant. Get back in your place before the golds really get angry!
To be perfectly honest, this whole Golds-Only policy is complete BS and is not in the spirit of the old confessionals. There are already perks to being a gold member - being a dick to blue members is not among them. Just post them all here from now on so we can all have a laugh at the expense others in peace.
Also, the stuff posted in there wasn't especially funny or notable in any way so you non-golds ain't missing much.
OP, I'm all for Garry getting more money, but consider how many people will actually boostar themselves just for a few confessions. it's a collection of lines of text, anybody who'd waste ten bucks on that not only is an idiot, but also has the displeasure of realizing that once they read the confessions and see that they were completely not worth it.
all you're doing is harming everyone for a marginal amount of money. how many people have bought Gold directly because of you? one? two, maybe? that's literally nothing compared to what Garry's already got. so you're cutting out the blues and making them feel bad for a tiny amount of money that A) doesn't go to you in any form, B) [I]does[/I] go towards someone who doesn't need it and likely doesn't care, and you're also C) helping towards the image of Golds as elitist pricks who can't stand the idea of people getting something for free.
stop being such an idiot, OP.
P sure one of the main perks is be an elitist bastard
Darn, back when Hezzy was doing the confessions it was much better. No racism against blues, funny and/or meaningful comments and less of being a dick.
thats why hezzy was removed, his confessionals were BORING
[QUOTE=ventilated;36163121]Gold only confessions posts can be found [url=http://facepunch.com/showthread.php?t=1187856]at this thread[/url].
[editline]1st June 2012[/editline]
In honor of that new thread [url=http://facepunch.com/showthread.php?t=1187856&p=36163339&viewfull=1#post36163339]here[/url] are two new gold only confessions![/QUOTE]
Why are you being retarded?
The only perk you're getting now is to look elitist and retarded. There's no need to separate confessions. Who chose you to be the OP anyway?
It was much better when Hezzy did it.
Ah, Here we go blue member whining over some emails/messages. If you really want to read it so bad ill give you 10 bucks to buy gold
[QUOTE=CubeManv2;36167068]Ah, Here we go blue member whining over some emails/messages. If you really want to read it so bad ill give you 10 bucks to buy gold[/QUOTE]
Don't think that's why they're complaining so much, more like the reason behind it.
[QUOTE=kyselina;36166998]No racism against blues[/QUOTE]
This is a joke, right? [I]Right?[/I]
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