I've lost all my good friends and I'm close to ruining my family. - General

I just fucked up a lot where I live and have made many enemies. When I get into to college, I'll be away from where I am right now so I'll probably be more social and go outside more often.

Don't kill yourself, and if you are contemplating it, please use one of those fake coupons and see if you get arrested first.

Well, I'm not going through six pages of responses, so apologies in advance for anything repeated. You've identified the main cause of your problems: computer addiction. If you hadn't admitted to this addiction, you'd be well and truly screwed. But since you have come clean about it, you can get rid of your addiction and change yourself for the better. Firstly, I'd recommend trying to get your parents together, sit down, and openly admit to them that you have a problem. Do not include you brother in this; he sounds immature and would only make this even more difficult for you. I honestly couldn't say how much help this would be. I'll be honest, your dad sounds like an asshole. In fact, it may be worthwhile talking with just your mother. Ask her to help you, by completely removing your access to the computer, for example by installing a lock on the door and not telling you where the key is, or removing the power supply to the computer, and keeping it hidden. Do not use the computer even for schoolwork; instead, head down to your local library or use an Internet cafe. At the very least, this will get you outside and interacting with other people. Secondly, talk to your old friends. I know you said they’ve “moved on” and are now with another group of people, but they were still your friends for several years. Get in contact with them, and ask them to meet with you somewhere, be it at your place when everyone’s out, at their place, or even in a park somewhere. Just make sure it’s got some privacy, as I can imagine the idea of strangers eavesdropping on you is not particularly pleasant. Tell them your problem, and be completely honest about it. Do not try to encourage sympathy; you’ll come across as whiny and pathetic. Instead, simply explain that you have a problem, which is why you’ve not been around much, but that you’d like to get back in touch with them. See if they’re part of any clubs. That would be a good way to get back into the swing of things and repair your relationship with them. It does not matter a damn if you like the club(s) they’re in or not. Just get in them, and learn how to approach people. Introduce yourself, ask something about the other person. People like nothing more than to talk about themselves. If you cannot contact them for whatever reason, just find any club that specialises in physical activities. Trial it for a few sessions, and see what the people there are like. If they’re a good, open honest group of people who are instantly friendly, then that is ideal. If they do not seem very sociable, then leave and find another club. I recommend physical activity, because the sorts of people who join those clubs are the people most likely to do other things as well. In my general experience, martial arts clubs have some pretty cool people. Arts clubs could be a good idea as well. DO NOT join a computer club. After a while of this, maybe organise a day out to the beach, park, lake, whatever. Be happy and smiley when in others company, even if you’re not happy, just fake it. As a final alternative, you can contact a help group. An example of such a thing in Europe is in this link: [URL]http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/technology/5191678.stm[/URL] I would not recommend something this extreme, but it’s all I can find at the moment (google keeps defaulting to the UK for me). My final piece of advice is to take things slowly. Leave some time before you attempt the next stage, be it a week or two, or even a month. First, talk to your family, sort out the home computer. Do this ASAP. I am not fucking around, damn well do it now. Second, contact your friends. Whether or not that works, join a club. I’d really recommend trying to contact your old friends, it will make it infinitely easier for you to interact with new people. Anyway, I personally hope you all the best. You need to want to change; it will not happen [i]for[/i] you, it will happen [i]because[/i] of you. You need to remind yourself not of how miserable you [i]are[/i], you need to remind yourself of how happy [i]you can be[/i]. You cannot look at others and think “I wish I was like that”, you will look at others and think [b]“I will be like that”[/b].

I have to agree with all the people suggesting martial arts. It'll do wonders for your body and confidence level. Your parents will probably be shocked but in a good way, which means they'll probably support you 100% (if you can convince them you'll stick with it). Stay committed to it and give it an honest effort. If you can pull that off it might open up other social opportunities, but the boost to your health and self esteem alone will be worth it. You can be one of those people that everyone starts noticing (i.e. "Man that guy's really turned himself around/got in shape/etc.") I'm suggesting this because it's something you can do at any age and you might be too young for sports. Plus, sports aren't for everyone, but anyone can take up martial arts...I remember my white-belt class being quite the varied lot but it started thinning out as I started getting colored belts.

Go to someone who you can talk to and professionally can help you. And when you pick a hobby make sure it's a group thing. Hell I'm pretty sure they do group photo run things in alot of places. Not sure about Europe though. Just get like 2 friends and have them bring you to parties and slowly acclimate yourself with new people.

I think this is a case of overreaction. Go up to one of your old friends when he's not with that girl and say hi, have a casual chat about shit. Next day, talk a lil more. Do this for a few days, then when you next see him go over, ask what he's doing e.t.c. Eventually you'll get back in as his friend. I know a guy at my school who abandoned everything for his computer, but he was worse. He used to take things people liked and totally ruin them (Rise Against, I used to like that band). By the time he realised he didn't really have any friends it was too late and he had to spend the best part of 6 months trying to get people to not hate him. You don't seem that far in, so just give it a shot mate :D

[QUOTE=Llivavin;23040150]Go see a psychiatrist/psychologist, no one should be have the feelings you're having.[/QUOTE] Go to a psychologist if you want help, go to a psychiatrist if you want drugs.

Pretty sure there is some good advice in here, besides suicide is for the weak, you've made it this far right?

Hey, sometimes we all worry about people thinking we're weird, you just have to man up and not give a shit what those assholes think. You should ask those guys if you can hang out with them, the worst that can happen is them saying no.

[QUOTE=Don Ochs;23040063]BLOCK OF TEXT LOL[/QUOTE] That was me in 7th Grade for a bit, then I realized life is shit, sucked it up, and remembered that it's my responsibility for how I am. Now I'm more confident, have good friends, and occasionally go out (not often though :wink:) so just you know, be optimistic and it'll do wonders. You talked to that girl from what I saw, right? Well, think of it like this: "I was brave enough to talk to her". Eh, whatever, I'm not great at advice, but I think you get my drift. Just don't give up!

In honesty... A good majority of us are on the same book with similar reasons. My best words of advice... -Don't start drinking(worst fucking mistake I've made...) -Don't quit school(eh... I quit mostly because I'm in an area of biffs ,and jiffs when I'm a middle class kid) -Get a socially active job (Music Stores are excellent choices!) -When your dad starts yelling at you... You really should listen. If he's insulting you just tell him what is going on directly. (Yell back. He thinks your a coward cause you don't stand up, and tell him off) -Holding shit in will make you an emotional time bomb. At a point in time you will literally flip shit on anyone for doing the simplest of things. -Suicide is another word for being a coward. (I've tried hanging, drowning, and od'ing myself. It ain't fucking worth it.) -Nature. If you're venting just go take a walk in the woods or desert. You just need to stand up, and speak for what you think is right. If your dad tries to punch you... Throw a punch back. Knock his ass unconscious if needed. Just... Don't fuck up alright? Facepunch already mourns a few losses, and we don't need to add another kid to the book.

Go somewhere beautiful to clear your mind, belive in yourself and do what's right!

Blogpunch right here.

I feel for you man. I honestly don't know how I'm so ridiculously lucky. I don't really have that many good friends in my own year, but my brother (1 year older) has found a nice group of friends in which I also fit in (a lot better than I would with the vast majority of my year). It just so happens that we all live within walking distance of each other, a leisure centre and a nice park, and it just so happens that we all like tennis and badminton which we play in the leisure centre, and football which we play in the park. It's perfect. But back to you. Basically, it seems like you give way too much of a shit about things. Like a wise man on here once said, if you're scared to do something, just think: Will I remember this moment in 4 years time and still be able to say that I shouldn't have done it? Most probably, you won't remember at all. It won't have any affect on your life, or anyone else's. So next time your dad asks, just think to yourself about whether it matters, and go to the shop. As for getting some new friends, it is hard. Very hard. All you have to do is go up to someone who seems like he has the same interests / values as you, and get to know him. But a lot of the time, this is a hard and scary thing to do. The only advice I have on this is to practice by just randomly talking to people on the street or something, people you'll never meet again. So it doesn't matter if you fuck up. If you don't go out on the street/somewhere people are, (this probably sounds stupid, but seriously) try going on omegle.com and hold a conversation with someone. That will give you an idea on what kind of things you can talk about to a total stranger. If you're still scared to do it in RL, go to like a confidence counsellor or whatever. They can help you with that. As for your family, it looks like your mum is the one you're closer to and feel for more, so talk to your mum about it. Don't worry about her thinking less of you, it's your mum. She'll be happy that you came to her and she'll like the fact that you want to change. Just tell her about what you think, you'll feel a lot better. As for your dad, I don't know. Get your mum to try to talk to him or something. Or you do it. So, good luck man. It is a very hard thing to completely change yourself and your life at your age, but it can be done so there is no reason why you can't do it.

I don't normally bother posting on facepunch much now, but you need to calm down and relax. Things are not as bad as they seem. First off, you need to realise that your situation will change over time, but you will always be the same person. All you can do is build layers around yourself and adapt to live with the people around you. I'm in a similiar situation to you but I'm happy with my life. I have some general advice to give about what you can do to feel happier. - Look for a job, any job even a crappy factory job will make you feel alot better as you make friends with people. You'll find out that though people can be pretty crappy, there are alot of normal folk who are nice and good to talk too. Not everyone is a douche like in school. - Try to put the past behind you, there's no point dwelling on it because you can't change it. Think about the hobbies you enjoy and expand on them. Why should you have to change who you are as a person to please other people? - As simple as it sounds, exercising just a little can make you feel so much better. I'm saying this from personal experience. There is a huge difference between doing no exercise and just doing a few pushups a day, or occasionally going out for a run once a week. Start off with a fifteen minute jog to a local store, buy something nice that you like to reward yourself. Do some pushups occasionally, exercise really does help a ton more than you can imagine. - Accept that things will never necessarily be wonderful for you, but understand also that you can be happy with the things that do you have. - When things get tough just remember that as you get older time passes faster and faster, and that nothing stays the same forever. It will get better eventually, then it'll get worse. Then it'll get better again. You really can't control this, but at the end of the day OP, you are the one who controls how you feel. You can either sit around and be miserable, or try your best. [i]'If you aim for the stars, you might not quite get one, but you'll at least reach the moon. ... Aim at earth and you get neither.' — C. S. Lewis[/i]

[QUOTE=Don Ochs;23040063]Through my hole life[/QUOTE] Hole life :biggrin:

Why dont you join some kind of social club? Maybe that could give you the confidence boost you need.

I would like to highly recommend an appropriate anti depressant for your situation, I was stuck in a very similar nightmare a few weeks ago, and so far I appear to be climbing out of it. Currently I am taking a daily 10mg dose of Lexapro.

I'd have to agree with most of the replies, you're well on the road to recovery by admitting the problem. Talk to your parents. Talk to your friends, if you think you'd enjoy similar interests. The alternative is harder. Have a positive look to yourself and develop some group hobbies (Preferrably one you actually enjoy) and get out there. Good luck! [editline]01:49AM[/editline] The most important thing I guess would be to start talking, even starting from small talk

There are others like you. Hell, I started gaming when I was 5! I've been a game addict for as long as I can remember. I didn't really have friends until 7th grade. I had a few from 4th-6th, but they all moved or became dicks. I've made new friends, you just have to know where to look, and how to build the courage TO look. See someone who looks like you, or is/you have seen wearing video game attire? Go strike up a conversation. It's how I met 2 of my best friends. Sure, one of them despised me in 7th grade, but I was anti-social at the time, and a bit of a dick. By the end of 7th grade, we were the best of friends. Why? Because being around him made me more social and in turn gave me more courage. It's how I met my second best friend. He was a lot different, but still really cool. We had similar interests and he was even more social than me. Being around social people makes you more social. Remember that. There are also nerdy things that you can do to meet new friends. When I say nerdy, I MEAN NERDY. Dungeons and Dragons and shit. Hell, I play it, and from it have gained new friends. We hang out and shit a lot. All that aside, just try and find someone with similar interests to you. Then talk to their friends, then talk to their friends, and so on and so on and so on. You'll be a very social man in no time.

Don't kill yourself. You'll do so much harm. A good friend of mine lost his brother to suicide. It caused his parents to divorce, and he went from being a straight A student to abject failure within months.

Look. Fuck you. I was starting to write how I've been through the same shit as you and didn't laugh for 2 years straight and all that shit. But that won't do the fucking job. Life ain't just all rainbow and stuff as you know, but don't want to be true. NO ONE is going to help you get your ass going. READ, NO ONE. You take the fucking responsibility for your own goddamn life. NO ONE is going to life your life for you. And all those guys trying to be all polite and cheering and shit won't do anything for you. In life, there is no "maybe" or "everything is gonna be good :)". There's only FAILURE. And SUCCESS. Now rate me all the dumb you want, but that's true. As long as you don't have a mental or physical disability there is NO excuse for your current situation, namely, the dissatisfaction with your OWN life. You have to have someone who clearly confronts you with your life. And this can only be you. Because only YOU can change your life. Life is like a garden: whatever you seed, you get. But you only get if you are patient and not just willing to help the crops grow and become fruits, ready to harvest, YOU MUST DO. Remember how I mentioned I was involved in that same shitty excuse complex? I tried to kill myself with a knife, but my mother opened the door to the cellar just in time. She asked me : "What are you doing?" I answered: "I want to kill myself." Then she said : " Ok, do it." That was pretty much the turn point for my life. I realized that nothing is gonna change if I do it and that my whole set of thoughts was a messy compilation of crap. Looking back, I can actually laugh about that <.< Life is not only a garden, but a tough motherfucker that is going to beat you down to your knees, fuck your face and annihilate you. IF YOU allow that. So you have to fight that son of a bitch, push him back inch by inch, claim YOUR space inch by inch, FIGHT for every inch and finally bring that fucker down to HIS knees. Now it's your turn to decide what happens. No one ever said that a big change in life is going to be all easy-peasy, so get ready mate. (Aww shit, now I did tell you my story >.< ) (Yes yes, I'm a bad ass, rate me all the dumb you want :) )

Funny thing is i felt just like him for about a year, then i just got some of that drug called "Fukitall" and now started talking to girls outside my friends circle, going to parties, getting to know new people and so on. Feel much better now.

[QUOTE=tommyc225;23040118]Get new friends, move on. Put yourself out a little bit more. Go to an after school club of some sort to show your dad you're trying. [/QUOTE] New friends =/= Good friends. :smith:

[QUOTE=tommyc225;23040118]Get new friends, move on. Put yourself out a little bit more. Go to an after school club of some sort to show your dad you're trying. Also, cool story bro. [highlight](User was banned for this post ("Meme" - Benji))[/highlight][/QUOTE] Funny how the only guy to give constructive input gets banned.

What you really need is a replacement for the computer. I'm pretty sure I'm addicted to this damn thing, but one of the main reasons I can't stay off it is because I have little else to do. Therefore, try [B]really[/B] hard to find something fun and/or interesting to do. Keep at it. Personally, I would recommend a martial art. If you take it up, aim to not be one of the pathetic little kids that are obviously not very interested in it and would prefer to be on the computer. The way I see it, there's a part of my mind that takes the metaphysical form of a tumour - the best way to cut it out is to cease feeding it. Also, don't expect anything great in the first moments after this. It may take a while, but you must be determined.

So this is how i would have ended up if i didn´t stop playing computer games 24/7, but i did and now i got a great life! , the important thing is to never give up! i don't know how old you are but when i was 15 years old i was like you. Ok maybe not that bad but that doesn't mater, its never to late to change your life around! Just start slowly and get a job where you learn to talk to people. Also try adding some of your classmates on msn or something and just talk online for abit, its so much easier! and when you get to know em for a bit, ask them to hang out!. Well thats all i have got to say!

[QUOTE=CoolKingKaso;23040790]Try drawing art or cooking.[/QUOTE] NO! Do not do this, you'll just end up drawing Elf rape and get banned for being a freak.

[QUOTE=Mingebox;23087820]NO! Do not do this, you'll just end up drawing Elf rape and get banned for being a freak.[/QUOTE] Never forget :patriot:

I know how you feel, but try keeping in shape e.g lift weights in your room, run around the block at 6am so no-one sees you helps me alot and gives you a boost in confidence and motivation :)