Depression, anxiety, suicidalism and similar disorders, issues and troubles V5 - General

[QUOTE=FalseLogic;52443747]Not sure where else to post this. One of my old friends from high school died yesterday. We don't yet know the cause of death, his family found him dead in his bed yesterday morning. I feel pretty bad about the whole thing because I hadn't really reached out to him in a long while, and yesterday I found out I'll never get the chance to again. RIP Matt [url=https://flic.kr/p/ngTGKB][img]https://farm8.staticflickr.com/7323/13963327369_cd9ca967bb_z.jpg[/img][/url][/QUOTE] Maybe to go to his funeral and reach out to him in spirit?

x post from social thread Okay so me and my girlfriends 1 month anniversary was yesterday, it's not a big deal to either of us but we wanted to spend it together without giving any gifts or anything. However, the past couple days, she had been in a pretty bad state (she has depression and anxiety issues). She told me beforehand that, when she is like that, she is not pleasant to be around and doesn't like being touched. I don't know what I expected to happen, but we basically watched TV the whole night while she spent the entire time at the opposite end of the couch on her phone. Of course, this is exactly what she told me would happen, but I still felt myself getting frustrated/annoyed. When I left, we didn't hug or kiss or anything, and she just said "I'm sorry" as I got in my car. I don't even really know what the point of this point is, I just wanted to hear what other people think. Why did I get so bothered when she already warned me that I wouldn't exactly be having a good time? I talked with her on the phone after I got home and we basically decided that we would re-do our anniversary when she was feeling better. Am I a selfish dick for acting that way? I just don't know how I can help, because it feels like I only made things worse by being there. I figured you guys would be able to help more with this subject. I know that it's not my fault that I can't improve her mood when she's like that, so what do you think I could do to help?

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I'm sure this has been mentioned at least one time, but I figured this kind of information is worth repeating: Be aware of your supports. Friends, family, coping mechanisms. Also be aware of your state/county crisis lines. A lot of them are 24/7 (I operate at one as a CIS) and, typically, offer some kind of over-the-phone counseling/crisis intervention. They tend to be treasure trove's of resources, from counseling to community resources (public transport or whatever). Some centers may be less equipped than others due to the demand for such. Also, if you seriously feel unsafe for the night and feel like you may do something to yourself or someone else, either a: [b] get to someplace safe![/b] If not possible, b: [b]admit yourself to a hospital![/b]. Yeah, it sounds kinda scary. Believe me, it is. A lot of hospitals are pretty results driven and a whirlwind, but it's much easier to voluntarily admit yourself to a hospital for a few days, get some therapy or medication (if necessary) set up to give you a direction. Heck, even if its just for those few days, it's better than doing something you'll regret later. I won't say all hospitals are build the same (I've worked with two in my area, one is way better with mental health versus the other). It's a lot better than an involuntary admittance, which goes on your record (I hate these so much). I'm not going to pretend these options are feasible all the time, but there are always options available to you. Stay strong c: Oh, feel free to PM me if you've any questions. I've tried my hand at helping a bunch of strangers!

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I have been officially changing medications (to something new called Trintellix) and I kind of feel all over the place. Hard to eat, sleep, and I probably cry a lot more than the average person. I can't wait for relief from this. I still feel pretty lonely sometimes too.

[QUOTE=The golden;52450273]She clearly understands herself and her behavior enough to give you a solid prediction of what will happen so trust what she says. Don't overwhelm her but at the same time make it clear to her that you love her and care for her and that you are here to help her whenever she is ready. Give her easy means to contact you if needed. You may end up needing to give her space for awhile. It happens to some people... they just get super reclusive and want to be alone.[/QUOTE] Thank you for the response. I have some trust issues so I probably subconciously didn't believe that it would happen the way she said it would, but she knows herself and how her behavior affects others. If/when this occurs again, I will be sure to listen to exactly what she wants and be there to support her either in person or intentionally not in person

Got mad at some stupid shit and punched the hell out of my left arm. I left a pretty nasty bruise and I didn't even mean to do that. Gonna have to lie to my parents again about this. Starting to doubt whether there's anything in this life for me and if it's even worth it to keep on.

[QUOTE=Mysterious;52451261]Got mad at some stupid shit and punched the hell out of my left arm. I left a pretty nasty bruise and I didn't even mean to do that. Gonna have to lie to my parents again about this. Starting to doubt whether there's anything in this life for me and if it's even worth it to keep on.[/QUOTE] You say "again", makes me feel like it'll only continue until something breaks the cycle. Have you looked up/tried coping mechanisms?

[QUOTE=Vaught;52451404]You say "again", makes me feel like it'll only continue until something breaks the cycle. Have you looked up/tried coping mechanisms?[/QUOTE] Yes. I have these sorts of urges a lot and I usually can fight them off with some sort of distraction. Something that needs my undivided attention. Didn't have anything like that on hand this time so I failed to stop myself. I do know that all of this is indeed my fault.

[QUOTE=Mysterious;52451515]Yes. I have these sorts of urges a lot and I usually can fight them off with some sort of distraction. Something that needs my undivided attention. Didn't have anything like that on hand this time so I failed to stop myself. I do know that all of this is indeed my fault.[/QUOTE] I'm sorry it still happened. I can't imagine the frustration you go through when it happens. Do you typically have an object you can use for distractions? Not implying you don't, just curious. I won't pry, but I hope it heals quickly!

[QUOTE=Vaught;52451827]I'm sorry it still happened. I can't imagine the frustration you go through when it happens. Do you typically have an object you can use for distractions? Not implying you don't, just curious. I won't pry, but I hope it heals quickly![/QUOTE] I usually work on something. Mostly Doom maps, but i haven't been able to work on it lately cuz the collaborator I'm working with is currently making his draft, so I'm having to turn to other things.

[QUOTE=Mysterious;52451920]I usually work on something. Mostly Doom maps, but i haven't been able to work on it lately cuz the collaborator I'm working with is currently making his draft, so I'm having to turn to other things.[/QUOTE] You sound super creative! What about making maps for fun while you wait for him to finish his drafting.

[QUOTE=Vaught;52452035]You sound super creative! What about making maps for fun while you wait for him to finish his drafting.[/QUOTE] I've tried, but I usually end up not being happy at all with it and scrapping them in the end because I'm too much of a perfectionist. I was working on the map over the course of 3 months and just threw it out because I didn't like it anymore. With this, since I have someone else to bounce ideas off of, it doesn't seem like such a waste.

[QUOTE=Mysterious;52452043]I've tried, but I usually end up not being happy at all with it and scrapping them in the end because I'm too much of a perfectionist. I was working on the map over the course of 3 months and just threw it out because I didn't like it anymore. With this, since I have someone else to bounce ideas off of, it doesn't seem like such a waste.[/QUOTE] That's totally fine. It's more of an exercise of your ability than trying to create the next big thing. Being able to make something then discard it and make something better is a natural process. I'm glad you found someone to collaborate with though! Making scrap maps is always a nice exercise

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I'm so very afraid of tomorrow. All the paperwork and prerequisite junk has been finished for the job help program I'm in and tomorrow is the first meeting where we actually start doing things. I don't really know what we'll be doing or what I should be ready for but I'm really nervous and anxious about it all, to the point where I want to just give up and not go...but I know I have to do this. I'm just terrified. I'm afraid of actually starting my life and interacting with people again and learning how to work and all of this stuff. It's a lot of new things at once and I'm worried that I'll mess everything up somehow, or I'll fail and not even make it. I have so much negative feelings but I have to go...hopefully it'll be better than I expect.

[QUOTE=kariko;52452467]I'm so very afraid of tomorrow. All the paperwork and prerequisite junk has been finished for the job help program I'm in and tomorrow is the first meeting where we actually start doing things. I don't really know what we'll be doing or what I should be ready for but I'm really nervous and anxious about it all, to the point where I want to just give up and not go...but I know I have to do this. I'm just terrified. I'm afraid of actually starting my life and interacting with people again and learning how to work and all of this stuff. It's a lot of new things at once and I'm worried that I'll mess everything up somehow, or I'll fail and not even make it. I have so much negative feelings but I have to go...hopefully it'll be better than I expect.[/QUOTE] Old failures are not the end. I know it's hard but try and have a little confidence in yourself that things might go better this time around. Failure and success are also pretty relative, all things considered. I felt the same way before my first job and it took me two weeks to get used to how things worked, but it worked out well enough for me in the end. We're only nervous as long as it takes for us to get used to the tasks at hand, and when we do them long enough we start getting somewhat confident in our ability to do them just as well. I'll make no bones of it, you're gonna mess up sometimes and you're gonna have to answer for it. You can learn from what happened and not repeat the same fuck up, or you can dwell on it and maybe even repeat the same mistake, because you failed to move on in the first place. Accept this fact when you're doing anything and realize that doing well at a job is through perseverance, not by brute forcing what you're given in the shortest time possible.

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I feel like shit for feeling so sad about something. I had a small crush on this guy who was pretty far away, so I labeled it improbable that much was gonna happen but I still felt like I needed to tell him. Well today I found out he's going to start a relationship with someone, and I have this paranoid feeling that I think I know who it is and its another friend of mine I made recently. I just feel bad because I feel its more infatuation than anything, but I still really liked sharing things with this friend and it doubly sucks because I had to be that guy when I was in a relationship just last month. I feel like an ass.

[QUOTE=Crpto2007;52452360]I don't know how this is going to get better.[/QUOTE] Something happened to you? Do you want to tell us? [editline]10th July 2017[/editline] [QUOTE=kariko;52452467]I'm so very afraid of tomorrow. All the paperwork and prerequisite junk has been finished for the job help program I'm in and tomorrow is the first meeting where we actually start doing things. I don't really know what we'll be doing or what I should be ready for but I'm really nervous and anxious about it all, to the point where I want to just give up and not go...but I know I have to do this. I'm just terrified. I'm afraid of actually starting my life and interacting with people again and learning how to work and all of this stuff. It's a lot of new things at once and I'm worried that I'll mess everything up somehow, or I'll fail and not even make it. I have so much negative feelings but I have to go...hopefully it'll be better than I expect.[/QUOTE] I have asimilar feeling when I needed to go the the army. However it helped me a lot to keep busy my worries by preparing myself for the moment. It kept me calm strangely enough. Also it took my 3 days to get used the routine army had. So yeah, I hope something similar happen to you and keep your mind in peace by preparing yourself and reading extra informations.

It's a beautiful sadness

[QUOTE=LordyLord;52454055]I feel like shit for feeling so sad about something. I had a small crush on this guy who was pretty far away, so I labeled it improbable that much was gonna happen but I still felt like I needed to tell him. Well today I found out he's going to start a relationship with someone, and I have this paranoid feeling that I think I know who it is and its another friend of mine I made recently. I just feel bad because I feel its more infatuation than anything, but I still really liked sharing things with this friend and it doubly sucks because I had to be that guy when I was in a relationship just last month. I feel like an ass.[/QUOTE] Why feel like an ass? Did you attempt to take him away from the other friend while knowing they were getting closer? Don't be mad at yourself, it'll only enforce the negative feelings. Focus more on the positives and outcomes! Can you two still talk to each other about what you were previously? Is your relationship with these two individuals on good terms?

[QUOTE=Vaught;52454646]Why feel like an ass? Did you attempt to take him away from the other friend while knowing they were getting closer? Don't be mad at yourself, it'll only enforce the negative feelings. Focus more on the positives and outcomes! Can you two still talk to each other about what you were previously? Is your relationship with these two individuals on good terms?[/QUOTE] My relationships with them are fine, I'm sure, I just get paranoid that it isn't because they're pretty blunt with their conversation style. And its complicated, stuff has changed since I found out stuff. I shouldn't be talking about this anyway, its pretty private stuff. Edit: I say stuff a lot :v

[QUOTE=LordyLord;52454658]My relationships with them are fine, I'm sure, I just get paranoid that it isn't because they're pretty blunt with their conversation style. And its complicated, stuff has changed since I found out stuff. I shouldn't be talking about this anyway, its pretty private stuff. Edit: I say stuff a lot :v[/QUOTE] Ah, I shan't pry then! Apologies.

hey, if anyone wants to talk or vent to someone 1 on 1, I'm willing to listen just dm me anytime

man I really hate when I talk about something really important to me, or someshit like that, and barely get any response/no response at all from friends. Makes me feel like such a fucking burden that all they can say is 'ah' and makes it feel like I just shouldn't talk about things that interest me or w/e to anyone

[QUOTE=Naught;52454832]man I really hate when I talk about something really important to me, or someshit like that, and barely get any response/no response at all from friends. Makes me feel like such a fucking burden that all they can say is 'ah' and makes it feel like I just shouldn't talk about things that interest me or w/e to anyone[/QUOTE] Same here man, it makes me really sad/angry at times. Whether it's about more casual stuff or personal stuff, when I don't get a response from someone it just feels like to me they're closing themselves off or don't care about me. Eats me up inside. If I'm a little distended in my thoughts I'm sorry, I just took an ativan cuz I'm anxious about stuff. Talk to me about whatever if you need to, yo.

[QUOTE=Naught;52454832]man I really hate when I talk about something really important to me, or someshit like that, and barely get any response/no response at all from friends. Makes me feel like such a fucking burden that all they can say is 'ah' and makes it feel like I just shouldn't talk about things that interest me or w/e to anyone[/QUOTE] I can relate to both sides. When someone talks about one certain subject for a long enough time, it gets hard to respond with full interest or compassion after a while. That's why I don't like to talk about my interests or feelings too often bc it feels like there won't be anyone listening until I can find someone who is willing.

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