Depression, anxiety, suicidalism and similar disorders, issues and troubles V5 - General

Anyone affected by chronic fatigue syndrome here ?

Yup. To the point where every time I leave the house I'm terrified of getting into a fatal accident because I'm notorious for falling asleep for a second or two at the wheel.

I really don't want to have a car because I think that is too much responsibility to handle such a machinery for me.

Honestly if we had good public transport, I didn't live in a huge city, and I wasn't too paranoid about the intentions of people around me, I likely wouldn't have gotten a car in the first place just because of the cost alone. But getting to one end of my city from another is about 45 minutes WITHOUT traffic and 1-2 hours WITH traffic, so. Didn't really have a choice. Don't get me wrong, I love driving? And having the freedom to drive? But it's just like. It's another bill on top of everything else and the fact that I have to drive to get to work or school even when I'm worried about fatigue sucks too.

[QUOTE=Pascall;51069490]Yup. To the point where every time I leave the house I'm terrified of getting into a fatal accident because I'm notorious for falling asleep for a second or two at the wheel.[/QUOTE] I mean, it's an actual [I]disease[/I] per say. I don't mean just chronic fatigue, i was mentioned the disease. Just wanted to know if someone got diagnosed with it. Because it's presentation is more than just fatigue.

Ah. I did ask my doctor about it and she's got both that and possible fibromyalgia in mind but I was never diagnosed with it, no. Most of the focus on my last appointment was with my thyroid because they found some weird shit going on with it so I guess I didn't think to ask about it any further. What sort of other symptoms do you deal with?

I need to get back on the sertraline pills. They seem to get the best form of self improvement.

who here has had a pet cat? This is related to depression and what not.

I feel like everyone hates me and I don't know why. I feel like I'm just a burden to everybody. I've been sleeping a lot lately because a lot of the times I feel to depressed to even move. I think about everything I've done wrong in my life and it upsets me a lot. I don't know what I'm going to do anymore I'm just so lost. Everyone sees I'm struggling and nobody even tries to help me. It's like they don't even care. I guess trying to kill myself didn't seem to have an affect on them at all. All I want out of life is to just be happy and not feel like everybody hates me. i don't know what I'm doing wrong where nobody really wants to talk to me. I can't even think anymore. I can't do anything but fail at everything.

[QUOTE=Pascall;51069694]Ah. I did ask my doctor about it and she's got both that and possible fibromyalgia in mind but I was never diagnosed with it, no. Most of the focus on my last appointment was with my thyroid because they found some weird shit going on with it so I guess I didn't think to ask about it any further. What sort of other symptoms do you deal with?[/QUOTE] Man at this stage the good question would be : what symptoms i [B]don't[/B] deal with. Basically it's : fatigue, nausea, headaches, eyestrain, confusion. Fatigue because the smallest effort drops me dead. I mean even cleaning my place a little bit is enough to drop me like i went for a two hours jog. Nausea because it seems that anything involving motion (read computer and television but not only, public transports can trigger it too) makes me fucking sick, i had to forget video-games entirely and it's taking a severe toll on my mood. I also developed fear of heights out of nowhere, which is new since i never gave a shit before. Headaches because god knows why, it's the "pressure" type of headaches, like someone is pressing your skull. When it's really bad it feels like it's also going back in my jaw and in my ears. But they don't seem like the main symptom, they often appear in combinaison with eyestrain and nausea, they're not random. I don't feel like it's a migraine, not the same pain. Eyestrain because twenty minutes of computer screen or just walking in the street makes my eyes literally fucking burn and blood injected. And confusion, well obviously in such a situation i don't ask myself why. I could also add night and day sweating (like having to actually change during the night because i'm [B]wet[/B]) for no reasons and being extremely pale all the time to finish the list. It's been more than [B]four[/B] fucking months now. But yeah, according to the specialists [I]it's in my head[/I], even if all these symptoms are more evoking an auto-immune disease, a serious eye problem or a chronic condition that desperately need to be diagnosed. Or even a fucking cancer but at this stage i take death gladly. Needless to say i went to a therapist : it didn't help one fucking bit. For the simple reason that none of my symptoms are triggered by my mind. It's like going to the therapist because you have an arm broken : this is fucking stupid. The only reason i'm depressed and anxious is because i feel like my life has been robbed, i don't have any energy, i can't work anymore, i'm nauseous 24/7, i can't exercise anymore, i can't play video-games anymore, all my days are revolving around pain and more importantly i don't have any proper diagnosis and nobody is taking me seriously. Anyone would be anxious and depressive in such a situation, this is not rocket science and it's not the way around. The worst part is that as long as a doc' isn't waving a paper with a distinct disease on it my entourage will keep thinking i'm making shit up and i'm just depressed. Like they do now.

Sorry to barge in here, need some OG friends to talk to about my weird happenings with long relationship ending/ binge drinking/drugging my emotions away. So I am 20, girlfriend of almost 2 years broke up, did a lot of LSD a year or so ago/ had really weird spiritual awakenings that she was the perfect goddess in my life and I needed to treat her a whole lot better. Didn't really do that because I was kind of a fucking wreck, would rely on her for a lot of shit. I'm getting a lot better, got a decent job now, (no job prior,) make good money etc. She isn't dating anyone else, can't let go/ won't let go until I know for sure, that she's moved on. Even then I won't have any hard feelings, I am coming from a point of understanding since I was a total piece of shit. But IDK. I'm really drunk, probably gonna snip this later because I think I'm being traced, paranoid mainly because of LSD educed pseudo-PTSD. Anyone wanna chime in?

Been a while since I said anything good about lifting weights so why not now. Think this has been my longest period of going to the gym consecutively and I'm starting to notice some new benefits. Lifting in itself has always raised my mood by either a lot or not that much ever since I started with this, but now that I've actually been going for a while (and longer than I have ever gone in one period as said) I notice that I feel more "disciplined". I don't always want to go and when I first get there, I may or may not want to do either squats or deadlifts since they can be a little intimidating and frightening to pull off. I just say fuck it either way and just do it. I think I was more prone to saying fuck it and not doing it so I'm happy that I'm able to just do it. Like, I'm not looking forward to lifting again on Wednesday that much (or I am a lot actually, just a little scared of getting trapped under the bar on lifts or injuring myself) but I'm just gonna do it anyway and I'll feel better than usual afterwards which is always worth it. Lifting weights, in my opinion, is also the easiest self improvement thing you can do. You could learn to program or make music but these are far more tough if you ask me. It's easy to get distracted by surroundings or your own thoughts and it's easy to not pick anything up from what you learn. With lifting, you just do it and results will pop up eventually. There's no "what if I don't get good at making music, what if I lack the creativity" since you know that if you just do it right you will get results. [editline]19th September 2016[/editline] Lifting weights and making food is pretty much my entire life at this point, odd to think about. As soon as I get back home I have no idea what to do to make time go by.

Dreams are an ill omen. I had a very uncomfortable one last night where several of my friends confronted me over the fact that I haven't stayed in contact with them. I was too ashamed to admit that I'm currently having a major episode.

how could I get myself to sleep earlier before schooldays? I [I]need[/I] to go to bed earlier on average, since a lot of my lack of energy comes from my current regular sleep times being too late for when I wake up for school. all I've heard is that I should take an hour before actually going to bed just to get off my computer and perform preparations and such, but I really just can't bring myself to start going to bed earlier..

I wish I could go back in time and undo my mistakes. There's a lot of things I would of done differently. I don't know how to move on and just forget the past.

I just woke up gasping for air? I'm not sure what happened. I think it may have been the position I was sleeping in wasn't good for my airway. Either way now I'm a little scared to go back to sleep.

[QUOTE=cynaraos;51075584]how could I get myself to sleep earlier before schooldays? I [I]need[/I] to go to bed earlier on average, since a lot of my lack of energy comes from my current regular sleep times being too late for when I wake up for school. all I've heard is that I should take an hour before actually going to bed just to get off my computer and perform preparations and such, but I really just can't bring myself to start going to bed earlier..[/QUOTE] You get used to it. At first it feels weird but if you stick to your schedule ultimately you won't be able to go to sleep later than that. Trust me, before i was unable to go to sleep before 11:30 / Midnight, now if i don't go to sleep at 22PM i'm virtually dead inside the next morning. If you're just not tired, try doing shit that gets you tired. Like exercising (not just before going to sleep though), or drinking a cup of tea, reading a book whatever.

The loneliness is really taking a heavy toll on my mood. It's depressing when you have nobody to talk to.

[QUOTE=Pascall;51078279]I just woke up gasping for air? I'm not sure what happened. I think it may have been the position I was sleeping in wasn't good for my airway. Either way now I'm a little scared to go back to sleep.[/QUOTE] There are a number of causes, ranging from simple stress, to allergies, asthma, sleep apnea, and GERD. You've been under a lot of stress recently, so barring any of the other possible causes, it wouldn't surprise me that this could be the reason why.

Might've been a combination of that and my allergies. I have a lot of garbage in the back of my throat and I guess I didn't realize until last night. I'm not worried about it anymore. But admittedly it was scary when it happened.

I have been in a place for a very long time where I can accept that I don't deserve to feel the way I do but I still haven't been able to do anything about it. I just really don't feel like I have the energy to keep going. Also I think I am starting to get a sore throat.

I go on okcupid to try to meet people, thinking I'd have better luck there than in reality, and almost all of them don't reply back to me. Same with Tinder. Apparently I'm just terrible at just meeting people of the opposite sex, let alone having a conversation with them.

If anyone is on [B]sertraline[/B], can you tell me why when I take it on the same day I have caffeine, the next day I get feel really angry and depressed? It happens every time.

It's weird when someone comes into your life, and all your life goals and ideas change. I'll most likely quit smoking, move to her when I 'm done with uni, start a family and most likely live in a less crowded town, since she dislikes the big cities. I haven't feel depressed either, but I have been really sad, when we have argued over stuff, and when people we care about go through bad times. But, when two of our friends broke put of their relationship, where it was most likely one of them being afraid their parents / family to find out he was bisexual with another man. She messaged me saying "Let's sure that stuff like that, Never dictates our love. I don't wanna lose you because your uncle or something is not agreeing." It's nice to be in love, I haven't been this happy since I first posted here!

Woke from a nightmare where my jaw and teeth fell out. No idea what it even means, but I kind of feel worthless now because of it. Why can't I just fade away already

[QUOTE=Mysterious;51082824]Woke from a nightmare where my jaw and teeth fell out. No idea what it even means, but I kind of feel worthless now because of it.[/QUOTE] If it's any help, I know it's not an uncommon dream to have. It's happened to me before.

Great, I've lost friends that I care about and I can't get new friends and for everyone else around me like classmates I'm nothing but a fucking laughingstock. Everything I do they regard me as a weirdo, stupid, clown. When they see me hurt/ill they smile or laugh. If I try to do something good they ignore but they celebrate whatever another asshole does. That's all I am, a fucking joke. Every time I try to do something good for myself or for others I fail. For once, I actually feel motivated to improve things but nothing happened but bad stuff. I try to sign up for an organization, I got rejected and this is the last time I could sign up. I try to fix my grades and study some subjects ahead and longer than everyone else and I still fail miserably. I've done everything I could do in that brief moment where I feel energetic and motivated, and accomplished nothing. I've ran out of them and I really can't be bothered to do it again. I guess I'm destined to be a big fucking failure. I don't see a bright future in any aspect at all. I wish I could just die or disappear now, because I don't think anything I do matters anymore nor do I mean anything to anyone anymore.

Man i don't know if any of you is fucking paranoid with hygiene but fuck me if i am. I just cooked some white meat and a piece fell on the tablecloth, i ate it because i hate to waste food but now i feel anxious. The tablecloth is usually clean but we never know. This is fucking stupid. :tired:

My girlfriend's gone away on holiday for a week to the gold coast. We haven't been apart for this long in a while, and I'm already getting lonely and more depressed. I'm also stuck working 5 solid days in a row starting Friday since it's school holidays here, then 1 day off, then another 4 days on at least. I'm gonna be a mess by the end of all this.

Anyone else stuck with this feeling that you just can't be bothered to do anything but at the same time you really want to do something since sitting in your room all day is gonna be really boring? I notice I lack a drive to do stuff since I'd rather just sit on my ass all day long but it's so boring and dull to do that. [editline]21st September 2016[/editline] Had a really weird feeling today in the gym as well. While doing bench press I suddenly got this weird feeling that reminded me of a general feeling I had yeaaars ago. Not a happy feeling or sad feeling or any of that, just a very neutral feeling in response to my surroundings. I'm not sure what to label it since I'm not sure what I felt. It just reminded me of years ago. It's tempting to say that maybe I got "connected" to reality for a brief moment (suffer from chronic DPDR) but at the same time I was still just as disconnected as I always am. Really weird.