Depression, anxiety, suicidalism and similar disorders, issues and troubles V5 - General

I agree with Dakario. [highlight](User was permabanned for this post ("Spambot" - Kiwi))[/highlight]

Anyone else get jealous of everyone else for anything and everything is it just me?

[QUOTE=RoboChimp;52752645]Anyone else get jealous of everyone else for anything and everything is it just me?[/QUOTE] Jealousy is usually the biggest mood killer for me. It even got so far that I questioned some of my friends in the past because they did stuff with them that they usually don't do with me.

[QUOTE=RoboChimp;52752645]Anyone else get jealous of everyone else for anything and everything is it just me?[/QUOTE] I get jealous with my friends, but it's out of fear that they won't want to talk to me anymore. I know it's silly because I love them all to death but it's like a reflex at this point. :s: Idk if you get jealousy like that but I can relate to it if so. Poster above is right too, at least for me. Insecurity is a huge part in it.

[QUOTE=The golden;52753699]This is a sign of insecurity. It would be a good idea to reflect on yourself to find what you are insecure about so you can find a way to tackle them.[/QUOTE] Being aware of your insecurities is important, but how do you go about actually treating the problem? I'd consider myself self-reflective to an obsessive degree, but I am still affected by these issues.

[QUOTE=RoboChimp;52752645]Anyone else get jealous of everyone else for anything and everything is it just me?[/QUOTE] I tend to compare myself to others out of uncontrollable habit. Like, just about everyone I know is working, moving house, travelling the world, having kids, being happy... Etc. Whilst life STILL seems to be put "on hold" for me, at the age of 24. At least I will be moving in with my partner sometime in 2018, I guess.

[QUOTE=The golden;52753699]This is a sign of insecurity. It would be a good idea to reflect on yourself to find what you are insecure about so you can find a way to tackle them.[/QUOTE]I don't even know what I'm insecure about. Can't get work in the industry I want while it seems like everyone else is buying a house at my age. I think I just don't succeed as often as most other people do.

Officially started SSRIs today. Hopefully this is the first step into a better life

[QUOTE=Mud;52741753]Why do i suck at social situations so much[/QUOTE] I always asked myself the same thing, up til last night. Now I'm wondering "Why don't I suck at social situations so much". Part of the answer is just biting the bullet and introducing yourself to whichever strangers are within the circle. Then, just talk. I know it's easier said than done, but you just gotta ignore what other people might think of you - cause think about it, even if you end up seeing them again, what have you got to lose? You either make a good impression, a poor impression or no impression. It's worth the risk of a few people not getting you, to try and make a friend. What it is for me was recognising that everyone's out for someone else's approval to one degree or another - be the one who it's sought from more than the other way around. It's not an easy concept to internalise, but you get a lot more comfortable in social settings when you realise that most people are just as afraid of looking like an idiot as you are, they're just good at hiding it. You gain confidence through experience, so if you do stumble on a few words or a joke falls flat on its face, don't dwell on it, cause you can learn something from that. You can't learn anything from doing nothing. It's simply trying that's the hard part, but once you get over that first hurdle it gets a lot easier to not only do it again, but to get on with the people you interacted with in the first place. Think of the wall of potential awkwardness upon meeting people as one you just gotta bust through like the fuckin kool-aid man, and on the other side, just be. This post is half me patting myself on the back but I hope my hot-off-the-presses perspective helps. [IMG]https://i.pinimg.com/originals/5f/a3/47/5fa347ed937eceb6f511fc5223c27a16.jpg[/IMG] Kinda sums it up

I suspect my mother may have bipolar disorder. EDIT: In fact, Mania in general explains most of the shit my parents and myself end up pulling off, from the careless overentusiasm my father engages into anytime he thinks of something to do, to the hateful destructive tirades my mother embraces between depressive spikes when something she deems as "that way" is challengered, to the similar tirades my father embraces when his visions are challengered as well. And I guess I've had plenty of that kind of episodes in my life. And I guess I've handled them well, I think I've managed to use the possitive impulses to improve my life, and I've managed to keep the negative self-righteous anger outbursts in check to avoid hurting anybody. But between that, and the occassional bouts of depression (although as of late they are quite brief and easy enough to get out off, and I realize what is happening to me and act in consequence), I'm quite worried about my mental health in the future.

So hey I might be homeless at the end of the month. If I vanish off facepunch you'll know why. Most telling fucked up thing about it though is even with this threat I can't stop thinking about video games and whatnot. I mean I'm working towards a solution or trying to but I feel like it's a bad idea to even touch a 3DS right now.

I'm depressed with my study and career lately. I'm working in different field and my study is accounting degree. I don't know what to do, fully embrace the field I am working in and study further towards it or continue my accounting study. Problem is current field is paying better and I was in entry level position in accounting field so it was paying much less for equal amount of work.

[QUOTE=nickx91;52764983]I'm depressed with my study and career lately. I'm working in different field and my study is accounting degree. I don't know what to do, fully embrace the field I am working in and study further towards it or continue my accounting study. Problem is current field is paying better and I was in entry level position in accounting field so it was paying much less for equal amount of work.[/QUOTE] It's your decision to make. Situation like this, ask yourself, who do you want to be? Every decision in life carries a consequence, but you can make it in whichever path you take provided you dig deep, make sacrifices, and ignore the haters telling you that "it can't be done." Many of my teachers in college used to say medicine wouldn't fit me and told me to find another career. Quite a few of them even outright told me that I'd made a mistake attempting to even try becoming a doc, and all this despite doing well on the classes. It wasn't until my compulsory internship that they grudgingly acknowledged I had what it took. But, there were always people who told me that if I worked diligently at it with drive, I had raw talent that could go into something big. Then turns out, in my first job, by the time I was ready to leave them, they offered me double my pay if I would stay and continue to work for them, and when I told them I had to move on to try for higher studies, my boss said there was always a job open for me if I came calling. Yes, it often feels thankless, it often feels like you're being passed over by people who might not be worth your shoelace, and it seems like no matter how many times you try climbing that mountain you always seem to slip off and fall down just as you're about to make it to the top, but you don't know the value of something that comes easy. Only people who have to fight seemingly for their just due know the value of what they have. At the same time, don't look at other people who seemingly have it better than you do and be jealous or envious of them. Jealousy is like drinking poison and hoping the other person's going to die, because you don't also know what they might've sacrificed to get to where they are. This isn't a decision other people can make for you. You're the one who has to weigh it for himself, whether immediate financial security is more important or the possibility of greater advancement in a field you've already studied for. I mean you can go far in your current field if you want as well - that's your choice if you want to stick it out here. Every decision involves some amount of sacrifice, and always has. Think very carefully about what you want to do with yourself, and make your decision, not forgetting to live with this decision for better or worse. Good luck for the future.

Is been a long time since we heard of IJNOMED. I hope she's doing ok.

I'm 21. Been through high school, served in the conscripts, now working a full-time job. I'm living alone and only had 2 relationships so far. One was a bit over a year in which I was miserable, but after I broke things off I sometimes catch a glimpse of her facebook or instagram and see how much better she's gotten. She had a new man who cheated on her. She came running to me after she dumped him. I was like okay let's talk. I was still serving at the time and didn't have a chance for a liberty pass. I thought fuck it, might get a few netflix and chill nights out of her since she said she had become a bit of a nympho. But by the time I got out, she found a new dude who was older than me and rode motocross. I still don't even have a car, so I guess she chose by that. Mid summer found a new girl who was the best fucking thing I've ever come across. This adventurous blonde girl who I met up with often, even did the dirty in bed, shared secrets and cuddled alot. By the end of August she cut things off with me. Said she doesn't have a place in the world and doesn't want to hurt me. I tried my best to talk her out of it, but you can't bend a stubborn neck. Now I'm so fucking pissed that I don't have anyone, I got lazy, I live alone, trash is piling up, I have no motivation to do a damn thing. All I do is work 15 hours a day, sleep the next and back to work. I became bipolar. When you meet me and we talk I can be nice to you and share a few laughs. You might catch me flinching from time to time. When I'm alone I go from just sitting behind my computer playing games to this psychopath who wants to kill, rip and tear people's hearts out. All because the solitude reminds me of how much I've failed and how I don't have the spine to move on. I have nothing.

I was just diagnosed with GAD and I'm not really sure where to go from here

GAD is manageable, though it can be stressful when you first get diagnosed. What I found works is figuring out my "triggers", for lack of a better word, and then make a plan for dealing with each of them. Right now I'm on medication that mitigates my anxiety (which also mitigates my digestive disorder) and it's been working great. So talking to your doctor about that might be good too.

I'm really uncomfortable going on any medications for something like this, so I think I have to do CBT but my schedule is stacked and I don't know when lll have time to do it

If it helps, the medication that I take is literally only 25mg (compared to a normal dose of like 100-200mg?) so it's not a real HEAVY antidepressant or anything. I can drop it without any serious side effects besides being a little tired and cranky for a day until my system adjusts. But if you don't want to do that and don't have time for therapy, you could possibly look for some stress management techniques in the meantime that you can do at home. Exercise or things like yoga can relieve stress. You also might want to pay attention to what you're eating. Certain things might exacerbate GAD symptoms and make you feel worse while other things can make you feel a little better. Just depends on what your system prefers. Obviously, I'd avoid things that can get you jittery like caffeine or too much sugar. That stuff tends to worsen my symptoms tbh.

I've been going through a pretty bad depressive episode for a few days now, it caused me to miss classes today and I feel bad cuz of it :s:

[QUOTE=The golden;52771318]I'm fairly sure I have Sensory Processing Disorder or something similar. I've had a long history of issues with sounds and recently started looking into it and a lot of it seems relatable to me. I serious issues with certain sounds and certain sounds when loud. I will fixate on certain sounds (even quiet ones) and will repeatedly be "aware" of them and think about them until I start melting down and eventually either start crying or have to leave the area if possible. Another is loud sudden sounds such as shouting or dropping a heavy object. I get this very extreme and sudden urge to scream, run away, or both. Someone dropping a wooden pallet at work can instantly ruin my mood for hours and make me very upset for seemingly no rational reason. It goes on but those are stand out examples. I like familiar and soft sounds and they are very soothing to me. I need to sleep with white noise constantly to drown out background noises which I can fixate on. Other issues: Extremely picky eater to the point of having medical issues a few years ago. Texture and smell are huge problems for me with food and even a slightly "off" texture means I gag if I so much as get it near my mouth. Doesn't matter how delicious it is - I will not eat it. Even if it's a food I normally like but perhaps made a bit crunchier or softer or something... instant nope. Doesn't seem to be any major issues with my sense of touch or sight however I do have vestibular issues. I get bouts of vertigo if moved in a certain way and my balance can sometimes be quite poor. So yeah...[/QUOTE] I have similar symptoms, maybe not as prevalent as you describe it- I've generally written them off as being a part of my anxiety disorders. Loud unexpected noises used to terrify me, but I've slowly gotten over it since my dog is also terrified of them too, so he always barges right into my room when he hears thunder, fireworks and smoke detectors. Which brings everyone into my room because they're also worried about him. Instead of being afraid of loud noises, I just get irritable instead. When there's too much noise going on, I also try to zone it all out, but it gets worse when people notice that you're closing in and they just don't know how to deal with it. The people around me do all the wrong things, like tapping my shoulder to try to get me out of it. Then they get annoyed when I try to tell them that the noise and their touch is causing me anxiety. But that kinda brings me to my point; if you haven't already, I think you should try being open with people after those situations arise- once you were able to get your mind settled down from the rush, of course. Letting people know and understand can help you begin to feel slightly better about facing those situations, even if it isn't a cure. If there's a doctor you can see, you should also bring it up with them and try to get their diagnosis, especially the issues with eating. I kinda know what it's like, since I also get physically uncomfortable with certain foods that I have to force myself to chew swallow, since it's better than starving. The whole time I might feel like gagging, but I wash each bite down with something else just so I can get through a meal. In the meantime, if you are allowed to and can still manage to work while doing so, you should try carrying around a pocket-sized stress ball at work for when a loud noise happens and those urges to scream and run come. And try to focus some attention on breathing deep and slowly as you do- you might still feel your mood get ruined every now and then, but in time you'll be able to power through the situation much better with a few simple tactics like that.

This might sound like a weird fear, but does anyone ever get afraid of being doxxed or people finding out things about you online? I just have this strong anxiety that a bunch of websites will be hacked and enough information about me will be public that someone will be able to find out the weird shit I do online or the weird porn ive looked at and maybe they will know me in real life. I feel like this fear has kept me from doing a lot of things like maintaining any real online friendship or typing anything personal on a forum in the past.

This is a bit bizarre for me because I've never really been depressed before, but it ticks off a lot of the boxes, so it seems likely. Just got back from deployment a week and a half ago, and the last 2 or 3 days I've just suddenly lost all interest in everything, find it almost impossible to get myself to do shit that needs to be done, and have basically avoided being around other people. This comes at what should be the best time of my life; I own a house that I can finally live in, my military career is incredibly sturdy and advancing exactly how I want it to, I'm going to start a new civilian job in IT in a few weeks, and I kissed a girl I've been feally into for over a year before the deployment but military service got in the way of making a move. But I wake up after 7-8 hrs in this weird state where I both want to go back to sleep and also feel too awake to sleep and I have to drag my feet to run with my dog. And then I sit with him after our run and he wants to play but I just have no energy to do so. And if I spend more than 5 minutes in the shower I start to hate myself for wasting time. I get out of the shower and just sit on the couch watching YouTube videos because I don't feel motivated enough and don't get enough pleasure out of playing video games anymore. Even while playing Gorn today for a bit as a form of excercise, there was a constant nagging that I should be enjoying this more and there was a forboding feeling of something I was supposed to do that I wasn't getting done. I'm not hungry until about 1400 even though I get up at around 0800, and whatever I eat after 1400 is all I eat for the day. I've had a few beers most nights since I've been back, but not excessive amounts (except the first day I got back lol). Even having conversations with people is more difficult than usual. I mostly just want to be back to normal again. I've never felt this way before, and it's so damn heavy that I'm actually afraid of interacting with my friends and family because I want their experiences with me to be enjoyable. Not even sure why I wrote this. Maybe I'm hoping venting will help it pass. I'm highly motivated to not seek out medical support due to my military career; they can preach all they want about not letting this get in the way of your military career but we all know that depression is one of the fastest ways to get kicked out of the army. [editline]11th October 2017[/editline] Some qualifiers for deployment too: I never saw any combat, I just worked 60-70 hrs a week in an HQ. There's no PTSD contributing to this

I think my social anxiety makes me one creepy fucking dude

I have to believe everything is going to be okay

I can't believe I used to post shit like this: [url]https://facepunch.com/showthread.php?t=1266490&p=44532560&viewfull=1#post44532560[/url] I hope I don't turn back into that guy. It's weird how you can see yourself from an external perspective and see how much of a fuckwit you look.

[QUOTE=RoboChimp;52772217]I can't believe I used to post shit like this: [URL]https://facepunch.com/showthread.php?t=1266490&p=44532560&viewfull=1#post44532560[/URL] I hope I don't turn back into that guy. It's weird how you can see yourself from an external perspective and see how much of a fuckwit you look.[/QUOTE] I bet every single person on here feels the same about their old posts. It's completely normal. In fact I'll expand it and say I'm sure everyone on the internet with public accounts on any site feel the same.

I think my anxiety and panic attacks are taking the best of me right now. While I'm getting treatment for it, including Bisoprolol because of my high blood pressure that I have been having for a very long period during stress and other issues, which turns out to be only a side effect of my anxiety and panic attacks. I've had a bigger panic attack this week, so I head to the emergency to see because I couldn't shake off that something is wrong with my heart, so they took an ECG check and it turned out to be fine, except for my high blood pressure and rate at the time, so he prescribed me to take a larger dose of Bisoprolol again, since I was prescribed by my FM and increase my dose of magnesium and calcium, since I am known to have calcium deficiency in the past. Both of them insisted if this keeps persisting then I should visit a therapist, which I should. Right now my panic attacks aren't even fast heart beat, just suddenly feeling like I'm grasping for air and that I feel like I have to manually force myself to breath, and sometimes that can last for hours. I can't do shit, and it's hard to take my mind off of it while it persists. Despite all this, I have a chance to work at a job which requires me to relocate to the capital city, which is great because I get to start over a new life there if I choose to, but it's really hard for me to go up against the world with these anxiety and panic attacks. I'm still very hesitant but at the same time, I feel like if I don't do something of such caliber, that I'm going to just keep being stuck in this vicious cycle.

They're putting me on Prozac for my depression. It's my second day of taking it and I feel nothing. Either it's useless or it's very slow reacting. Is this common for anyone else taking it?

[QUOTE=gnampf;52773223]They're putting me on Prozac for my depression. It's my second day of taking it and I feel nothing. Either it's useless or it's very slow reacting. Is this common for anyone else taking it?[/QUOTE] It will not be an immediate reaction, it usually takes 4-6 weeks for an antidepressant to take effect.