Depression, anxiety, suicidalism and similar disorders, issues and troubles V5 - General

im lonely, i have no real life friends i can even relate to i constantly feel depressed and it feels fucking horrible

I vented my thoughts about ADHD to my psychologist a few days ago. She felt that it was a dead end but she told me we'd give it a shot to investigate as it's something I heavily suspect these days. I was given a paper to fill out, "Adult ADHD Self-Report Scale" or ASRS. 24 score on part A and 14 score on part B. I'm not sure how high this is but I think it's higher than a non-ADHD person? I'm sure there's some people in here with ADHD so I want to ask you: has other mental issues covered up ADHD symptoms for you in the past? I've struggled with anxiety for as long as I can recall and I've always felt very vulnerable in social situations. Lots of insecurity. I feel like this has potentially muted visible ADHD symptoms as I've been too scared to really act out on them. Whenever I have good periods I very quickly start feeling a little "ADHD"-ish. Lots of energy, can't sit still, like to move around, love to talk and interrupt and more embarrassingly, I also get strong cravings to climb on shit. My energy levels fluctuate a lot. I can go from a squirrel on cocaine to a sloth real quick, depends on how much stimulation I get.

My mind is stupid... Why do i have to get feelings for someone now when I'm in love with someone else, and in a relationship? [sp]Probably because there was a connection, where me and not my girlfriend actually had feelings for each other, and I realize both of them are beautiful human beings... [/sp]

My brother, who has been struggling with depression, tried to kill himself today. He is alive and relatively well but I have absolutely no idea how to react. I haven't seen him in person so I guess it hasn't really sunk in, but I just don't know what to do.

[QUOTE=Bathtub;51237037]My brother, who has been struggling with depression, tried to kill himself today. He is alive and relatively well but I have absolutely no idea how to react. I haven't seen him in person so I guess it hasn't really sunk in, but I just don't know what to do.[/QUOTE] Does your brother live alone or something? You should probably stay with him and help him out. He most likely feels alone, but I am assuming your parents are there with him or something. [I]sorry if this doesn't help much. being together after something like this happens is usually a good idea[/I]

[QUOTE=The bird Man;51228000]Lika Pascall said, [B]ignore them[/B]; it's the best strategy to get rid of trolls and bad people. The more and longer you do this, the easier it gets, and you'll get a lot happier because you know you're better than them. Stand up for yourself and be strong, don't put fuel in the fire. Psychological Internet Course #11[/QUOTE] I wish I would've known this sooner. I gotta say though, since applying it, it's worked very well. To anyone in a similar situation, take this advice. The problem with arguing with trolls is you give them exactly what they seek and the cycle reciprocates. Simply ignoring people like that can help a lot with anxiety and general stress, which often lead the road to depression. Relevant quote: "I thought what I'd do was, I'd pretend I was one of those deaf-mutes." - J.D. Salinger Since my last post here, a few people reached out to me privately and helped convince me to move on. I'm doing a lot better after removing the toxic people from my life, and I'll keep doing what I love without letting anyone interfere.

I'm really close to try killing myself again. The depression has taken me over. I don't know what to do part of me wants to end it and another part of me doesn't want to give up yet. Maybe I'll call the suicide hotline

[QUOTE=Crpto2007;51238054]Maybe I'll call the suicide hotline[/QUOTE] Please do so. The people there typically only want the best for you, and knowing someone cares can be a powerful feeling.

[QUOTE=LieutExcalibu;51237398]Does your brother live alone or something? You should probably stay with him and help him out. He most likely feels alone, but I am assuming your parents are there with him or something. [I]sorry if this doesn't help much. being together after something like this happens is usually a good idea[/I][/QUOTE] His roommates were in his apartment when he tried, luckily. We have him back at our parents house for a long time. Thank you.

I love to say I'm growing as a person, but I'm pretty sure I'm just repeating the same emotionally destructive cycles over and over and over and I don't have the energy to even care anymore, it's just a numb frustration. I just don't feel quite real. Aren't real people supposed to over come their problems and not just wallow in them for years straight.

[QUOTE=MrJazzy;51227231]I got my shit together and applied for a few jobs today, a couple of hours later I got a call about one of them and now I have an interview tomorrow. I hope I get the job but I also hope I don't hate it, it can't be worse than waitering but it's still a restaurant job, cleaning and washing dishes.[/QUOTE] Omg, guys, I got the job. I got into such a work flow today, alternating between doing the dishes, picking tables, helping my (future) co-workers bring out food and drinks to tables. I essentially did the same thing I had done earlier this year except on a smaller scale, and it felt like I knew what I was doing. It was very busy and apparently one of the stressful days according to my boss but it was nothing compared to the conditions under which we worked at my previous job, and so after about three hours of working, the boss asked me how I liked it so far and asked me to come in tomorrow at 12 am to teach me some more things and that I can start work for reals on monday. No more sitting on my ass being broke and depressed about doing nothing with my life and too anxious to find a job. I had a feeling of "well I've hit the rock bottom" that lead to a small burst of motivation which made me actually apply to a couple of jobs, and somehow one of the openings I applied for happened to work out. Ofcourse, everything could still just get fucked up somehow but I don't wanna worry about it.

wish I owned a gun to blow my brains out all over the walls

I don't know what I'm doing with my life. I have no ambition for anything. All I've ever wanted in this life is to be loved and start a family, but I have such trouble with meeting women, especially women that I can relate to and be comfortable with. Sometimes I just feel like killing myself is the best option, and I've been on the verge of actually doing it, noose tied and around my neck, but I always end up talking myself out of it because the thought of doing that to my parents and siblings is worse than living my shitty life. I feel like I'll never be satisfied with anything that I do.

[QUOTE=TFA;51240054]Please do so. The people there typically only want the best for you, and knowing someone cares can be a powerful feeling.[/QUOTE] knowing if anyone at all would care would make me feel better. its a shame there isnt a single person in my life that does.

Am I just being too sensitive and paranoid, or am I right to be kind of offended that someone I consider to be a very close friend looks at, but doesnt respond to, a message I sent about my brother almost killing himself? This is serious fucking shit and the fact that they would rather reply to her 8 other friends but not me has got me fucked up

So... someone I know said they feel depressed, and want to kill themselves. But they won't. But the reason they wanna kill themselves, is that I'm in a relationship with the girl he loves... If this goes on, I don't have to worry about loving until I die, because I know I'm going to end up losing it at one point if people keep this up...

[QUOTE=Bathtub;51241064]Am I just being too sensitive and paranoid, or am I right to be kind of offended that someone I consider to be a very close friend looks at, but doesnt respond to, a message I sent about my brother almost killing himself? This is serious fucking shit and the fact that they would rather reply to her 8 other friends but not me has got me fucked up[/QUOTE] It's some pretty heavy stuff, she might not know what to say. I would try not to get too mad until you actually hear from her. I can't have fun playing video games anymore. They're all either too complicated or demanding or not engaging enough. I just feel like a jaded piece of shit.

[QUOTE=Torjuz;51241445]So... someone I know said they feel depressed, and want to kill themselves. But they won't. But the reason they wanna kill themselves, is that I'm in a relationship with the girl he loves... If this goes on, I don't have to worry about loving until I die, because I know I'm going to end up losing it at one point if people keep this up...[/QUOTE] This might sound stupid but are you sure they actually are depressed and are not just saying that because you're in a relationship with the girl he loves? Some people fake their depression for shit like this

Remember guys, if you think you're having a good day, they will always, ALWAYS be something to counter it to a bad day. Having a good time with a girl you like? You come home and find out later that that was just a friend thing and she has hooked up with someone. Bought something you always wanted? Broke in on the way back. Feel like you are good at something for once? Nothing special, people younger than you can do it too, and do even more things than you can do. Feel like everything is going fine for once? Nope, life throws the largest shit at you. Think you're going to win? Nope, your opponent gets a comeback. There's no such thing as good days, happy life, not for me at least. If you feel like things are looking up, don't feel happy and hopeful yet, as it's just life trying to make you feel like there's hope but then throws everything at you.

Waking up feeling like shit (physically speaking, like i didn't slept) and with intense derealization. Again.

[QUOTE=Torjuz;51241445]So... someone I know said they feel depressed, and want to kill themselves. But they won't. But the reason they wanna kill themselves, is that I'm in a relationship with the girl he loves... If this goes on, I don't have to worry about loving until I die, because I know I'm going to end up losing it at one point if people keep this up...[/QUOTE] [QUOTE=LieutExcalibu;51242468]This might sound stupid but are you sure they actually are depressed and are not just saying that because you're in a relationship with the girl he loves? Some people fake their depression for shit like this[/QUOTE] Fakers have lightened the public perception of suicide, but always take people wishing to commit suicide seriously. Even if they don't do it, they could be at risk of doing it. That being said, try and help them. Tell them to reach out to therapists, to their doctors. Don't cave into to the pressure of dumping your girlfriend. If he genuinely expects you to dump your girlfriend because he might kill himself, don't because if he starts dating her, she will now how to deal with that kind of shit if she ends up breaking up with her, or if they get into an argument.

[QUOTE=Bathtub;51241064]Am I just being too sensitive and paranoid, or am I right to be kind of offended that someone I consider to be a very close friend looks at, but doesnt respond to, a message I sent about my brother almost killing himself? This is serious fucking shit and the fact that they would rather reply to her 8 other friends but not me has got me fucked up[/QUOTE] Been thinking for a while, and I would have no idea what to respond to a message like that.

[QUOTE=PelPix123;51224594]i was offered medication to stop my hyperandrogenism and keep my body from getting masculine at age 12 and i refused it because i wanted to self-harm in a way i could never escape i chose to look male rn--not because i enjoy it, but because i wanted to make myself suffer jesus christ 12 year old me was an edgy shitlord. now i'm paying for it for the next 60 years. i literally gave myself gender dysphoria because i wanted myself to suffer forever what the fuck[/QUOTE] I would have self medded in my teens if I had known what the hell I was suffering from. now I'm enormous. still set on transition. stay strong, be patient and distract yourself while you're waiting for treatment.

[QUOTE=GoldAssassin;51242758]Remember guys, if you think you're having a good day, they will always, ALWAYS be something to counter it to a bad day. Having a good time with a girl you like? You come home and find out later that that was just a friend thing and she has hooked up with someone. Bought something you always wanted? Broke in on the way back. Feel like you are good at something for once? Nothing special, people younger than you can do it too, and do even more things than you can do. Feel like everything is going fine for once? Nope, life throws the largest shit at you. Think you're going to win? Nope, your opponent gets a comeback. There's no such thing as good days, happy life, not for me at least. If you feel like things are looking up, don't feel happy and hopeful yet, as it's just life trying to make you feel like there's hope but then throws everything at you.[/QUOTE] This attitude isn't going to help anyone :/ I understand how you feel. I almost never get my hopes up for anything anymore. I'm always expecting a bad day to be had every time I wake up, but discouraging others from even hoping to feel good because you don't is not helpful at all. It's also wrong. Things do get better. I promise. Even if it feels like it's not, it is. Slowly but surely. Try and encourage a little bit of hope for the people here, eh?

[QUOTE=SamPerson123;51242246]It's some pretty heavy stuff, she might not know what to say. I would try not to get too mad until you actually hear from her. I can't have fun playing video games anymore. They're all either too complicated or demanding or not engaging enough. I just feel like a jaded piece of shit.[/QUOTE] You were right. I 'confronted' her and she basically said she was really freaked out and didn't know how to handle that situation. She apologized profusely for it but I also said I was sorry for forcing that situation on her. I was just really angry and frustrated and stressed and I reacted poorly towards her. Man, sometimes I just feel like such a burden on people that are important to me.

my ex's chat kicked me out because "[they] don't have the resources to help you" and i was bringing them down overall ive been trying to deal with it, but the intrusive thoughts only ever pile up and get heavier and louder, while happiness is so short and fleeting the next time i have a gun in my hand i'm killing myself, im so tired, my body is so heavy, and the last drops of hope have left me

I finally got confidence enough to ask the girl I've liked for 10+ years out She said no I haven't even been thinking about other girls during the 10+ years I've known her. She's been the brightest light I've ever had in my life and the sole reason I didn't kill myself as a teenager. I never had the balls to ask her out until now. I feel like I've wasted all this time. I feel like absolute shit. I am 25 years old and haven't even kissed a girl yet. I feel like a waste of space, completely useless.

[QUOTE=Ldesu;51246323]I finally got confidence enough to ask the girl I've liked for 10+ years out She said no I haven't even been thinking about other girls during the 10+ years I've known her. She's been the brightest light I've ever had in my life and the sole reason I didn't kill myself as a teenager. I never had the balls to ask her out until now. I feel like I've wasted all this time. I feel like absolute shit. I am 25 years old and haven't even kissed a girl yet. I feel like a waste of space, completely useless.[/QUOTE] no matter how much it hurts, dont let it end your friendship [editline]22nd October 2016[/editline] just because she said no doesn't mean its a waste of time. your memories of her are still there

[QUOTE=Bathtub;51246370]no matter how much it hurts, dont let it end your friendship [editline]22nd October 2016[/editline] just because she said no doesn't mean its a waste of time. your memories of her are still there[/QUOTE] It's not ending the friendship. It's the realization that even after all these years she doesn't see me at all the way I see her that fucks me up so much about this. It's like waiting for a train, then realizing that it's already gone, and [I]then[/I] you find out there was no train to wait for to begin with.

[QUOTE=Ldesu;51246403]It's not ending the friendship. It's the realization that even after all these years she doesn't see me at all the way I see her that fucks me up so much about this. It's like waiting for a train, then realizing that it's already gone, and [I]then[/I] you find out there was no train to wait for to begin with.[/QUOTE] there arent many worse feelings, i know. id say look on the bright side but some things just straight up suck. there is someone out there for you even though it feels like that person just rejected you