Depression, anxiety, suicidalism and similar disorders, issues and troubles V5 - General

No.. I really can't just talk to them like that. I'll feel super uncomfortable and I'll probably just stay quiet and leave if I ever have a meeting or something like that. I used to also have a personal connection with the people I used to talk to, like being best friends in school, and I just can't feel the same way with therapists. [editline]6th February 2017[/editline] I think being fucking replaced by everyone is my best feat.

A major part of battling Depression is processing your thoughts and understanding the meaning behind them. If you have trouble doing this yourself, that's what therapists are for, they basically act as another brain for you. They don't have opinions or thoughts of their own, they simply listen and then if you are stuck, they give you numerous ideas of what something may be, they don't give you a definitive answer, basically unravelling the thoughts you have in your head so you can come to understand them more. [editline]6th February 2017[/editline] [QUOTE=GoldAssassin;51784115]No.. I really can't just talk to them like that. I'll feel super uncomfortable and I'll probably just stay quiet and leave if I ever have a meeting or something like that. I used to also have a personal connection with the people I used to talk to, like being best friends in school, and I just can't feel the same way with therapists. [editline]6th February 2017[/editline] I think being fucking replaced by everyone is my best feat.[/QUOTE] I'm not surprised you'll feel uncomfortable and be quiet, no one is expecting you to go in smiling with joy and talk to the moon and back. They understand that too and they are trained thoroughly in understand people with Depression and other issues. They are there to make you feel as comfortable as possible and not force you with anything.

I still don't feel comfortable at all. It's not for me.

Don't rule anything out until you try it, if you want to get better you need to take a deep breath and try something new. I understand you're stuck in a rut at the moment but you do have the strength to change things and help yourself. You can lift that weight off your shoulders just enough to allow yourself to get support Once you start getting support, you'll be surprised just at how easy it gets to lift that weight. You can't lift something that heavy by yourself, that's why therapists are there to help you and support you in times of need. Your parents must love you too and would help you wherever they can.

[QUOTE=TrannyAlert;51784063]Awesome, what have you got planned for today [editline]6th February 2017[/editline] Well I said I wanted to be your friend :~)[/QUOTE] just my partial hospitalization program from 9:00am to 3:30pm. It's really helping me

What do you do in there? and glad it is, though I heard hospital food sucks usually What about after 3.30

I really really really can't.. I've told you it's very hard for me to talk to people I don't know, like therapists. I know, I know they're intentions are good but I can never bring myself to talk about my problems even if I'm forced and have a gun to my head. Without personal emotional connection in life (such as at school or work or hanging out) and becoming very close for a very long time I can't.. I'm sorry I just can't..

That's the point though, no one is putting a gun to your head. If anything you could always just go and sit and let the person speak he/she could tell you about their day. My girlfriend became very close with her therapist and they still send letters to each other, it's something she's never regretted doing and it helped her through high school and now she also has a pen pal! In the end it's up to you but don't 100% rule out the option of a therapist is all I'm asking. You might not want to now but atleast have a think about it or leave it for you to think about in the future.

Yes but I just can't talk about my problems forced or not. I can't sit and talk to someone I don't know in a claustrophobic room like that. I really don't feel like I'm ever going to build a connection to them like I had with the friends I used to talk about my problems with. I have problems talking to older people anyway. I'm so so so so sorry but I can't.

You don't have to speak to them like I said, and the rooms are made to be open and inviting, they aren't claustrophobic. You can also get quite young therapists, male or female depending if you have a preference. and you don't know if you will build a connection with them since you've never met them. It can't hurt to give it a try, as hard as it sounds, nothing is impossible.

Yeah for starters you should stop apologising haha, you've done nothing wrong/said nothing wrong and not upset anyone. We aren't above you or anything, we're all equals so you don't owe us any apologies. :class:

[QUOTE=TrannyAlert;51784144]What do you do in there? and glad it is, though I heard hospital food sucks usually What about after 3.30[/QUOTE] the day consists of five groups with about 12 of us and each an hour long with 10-15 minute break in between. We talk about our diagnosis and other topics related to mental health and how we're feeling. The food is not that bad either and since it's a partial hospitalization we go home at 3:30 [editline]6th February 2017[/editline] I changed my Facebook profile picture after 2 years of using the same one cause of my low self esteem. I never did like how I looked

Awesome, well done and I haven't changed mine in a while, Facebook is pointless to me really. That group sounds pretty good, being with similar people is always helpful

Yeah I rarely ever go on facebook. My social worker says I might be ending on the 16th but I'm worried I'll fall back into my depression after. She said she's going to try and give me more days but after that I switch to a different group for 3-4 days a week and then finally a once a week therapist

It sucks so much feeling ignored these days. No wonders why I'm feeling so depressed the last few weeks. It just suuuuucks so much :cry:

[QUOTE=Crpto2007;51786218]Yeah I rarely ever go on facebook. My social worker says I might be ending on the 16th but I'm worried I'll fall back into my depression after. She said she's going to try and give me more days but after that I switch to a different group for 3-4 days a week and then finally a once a week therapist[/QUOTE] You will fall back into it eventually if you think like that. Positive thinking is extremely powerful and can even change you chemically. I don't think you will, you just need to keep yourself busy and once a week therapist is a good idea

I feel kind of happy for myself for getting the help I really needed. I'm just worried about this family meeting coming up with my social worker and my mom. I'm worried my social worker will bring up that I cut myself before going into the program and that I hear voices. Literally nobody knows about this except my social worker and my psychiatrist

So I intentionally skipped an invitation from a friend to eat with some other friends (I don' have to pay at all) so I can go home and do some work. I have to paint this thing I dried up. I need to get supplies with my mom and my mother is only available until 5. So I skipped the hang out and it turns out what I wanted to dry isn't even dry and it turns out that my mom is available at a later hour. I can't work on anything until it's dry. Great, so I missed a chance to hang out and have a good time and just waste time. Should've expected this, I'm always getting further and further from everyone and I probably won't mean anyting to them soon. I prioritized some work over friends and I skipped the opportunity to have a great time. But it sounds pretty responsible when you prioritize work over something as silly as hanging out right? Like it's all gonna be worth it in the future, right? Nah, I won't get nothing from this. Fuck me I can't hang out at a later date, it's the same thing as asking your friend to host another huge birthday party just because you (1 person, in this case a worthless person) didn't attend it initially.

[QUOTE=Crpto2007;51787240]I feel kind of happy for myself for getting the help I really needed. I'm just worried about this family meeting coming up with my social worker and my mom. I'm worried my social worker will bring up that I cut myself before going into the program and that I hear voices. Literally nobody knows about this except my social worker and my psychiatrist[/QUOTE] They shouldn't be telling your parents anything without your consent. If anything, next time you see him/her tell them please not to tell about those things, you will tell them when the time comes. [editline]7th February 2017[/editline] @GoldAssassin why do you keep turning down invitations then, work can always wait.

[QUOTE=TrannyAlert;51788416] @GoldAssassin why do you keep turning down invitations then, work can always wait.[/QUOTE] Because it's for an exam due tomorrow. The thing is I fucked up this opportunity and there's nothing I can do to fix it.

Why haven't you done the work prior to the day before the exam? and you did fuck it up but you can fix it. Send an apology to the person who invited you and next time something is orgnized, make sure to go

[QUOTE=TrannyAlert;51788491]Why haven't you done the work prior to the day before the exam? and you did fuck it up but you can fix it. Send an apology to the person who invited you and next time something is orgnized, make sure to go[/QUOTE] Because this week is full of exams, this was a busy month we just had a written exam last week and everyone has very little time to prepare for any of the other exams too I don't think there will be any more invitations anymore. Even if there is, it won't be as fun as this one. And there's no guarantee that something won't come up making me not attend.

Was you only given a weeks notice for the exam? That sucks tbh and there may be, you don't know. Send an apology and you have no idea whether they will be fun or not, you didn't even go and you have the choice to go, there are always ways round things.

They're sending tons of pictures of them having fun and I'm not there. Still, even if there is I won't think it's fun, and I would probably have to pay this time and I'm already pretty bankrupt from spending money on stupid stuff, and getting robbed.

[QUOTE={TFS} Rock Su;51786600]It sucks so much feeling ignored these days. No wonders why I'm feeling so depressed the last few weeks. It just suuuuucks so much :cry:[/QUOTE]I usually feel the opposite these days when my moods swing to depressed. Being alone is nice and being around people is a chore.

-snip-

[QUOTE=Trillo Lillo;51788651]had some sort of a fight with my boyfriend again. We are both going through shitty moments of our lives, and he wants me to help him but I really can't I'm trapped in this hole I can't get out, and all I'm doing is dragging him inside And he gets angry/frustrated at me because he believes I'm not helping him because I don't wanna I feel so useless... what is going on with me[/QUOTE]It's a shame we need dark times like this to improve as people. Sadly that's how life is though. Shit is complicated. Hope it all works out well for you.

[QUOTE=Trillo Lillo;51788651]had some sort of a fight with my boyfriend again. We are both going through shitty moments of our lives, and he wants me to help him but I really can't I'm trapped in this hole I can't get out, and all I'm doing is dragging him inside And he gets angry/frustrated at me because he believes I'm not helping him because I don't wanna I feel so useless... what is going on with me[/QUOTE] Have you actually sat down and had a 1 to 1? You should really both air your concerns to each other and you might both feel the same way.

[QUOTE=TrannyAlert;51788416]They shouldn't be telling your parents anything without your consent. If anything, next time you see him/her tell them please not to tell about those things, you will tell them when the time comes. [editline]7th February 2017[/editline] @GoldAssassin why do you keep turning down invitations then, work can always wait.[/QUOTE] I signed a paper that involves them in my treatment or something. But yeah I'm going to tell my social worker today to not mention any of that until I'm ready. Anyway I haven't self harmed in 3 weeks.

3 weeks is awesome dude. If you can go 3 weeks then you can do a home run for sure. My girlfriend thought it was impossible and she's not done it in over a year now :)