Depression, anxiety, suicidalism and similar disorders, issues and troubles V5 - General

Jfc yesterday I woke up at around 6pm after a traumatic nightmare (I work night shifts). It consisted of me driving at night to work and there was a bunch of junk on the highway that I had to avoid and some 18-wheelers preventing me from going very far to either side of the middle lane. Suddenly, a large cylindrical wooden container showed up out of nowhere and I hit it. My car lurched forward and started flipping as sparks and fire surrounded me. I screamed and woke up. I literally couldn't go back to sleep I was so terrified. Needless to say I had a rough day at work because of only managing about 4 hours of sleep.

Under SSRI since three days now. Nausea coming back full force on top of insomnia. Knew i shouldn't have listened to that fucking shrink but the anxiety was getting barely bearable.

Only have a week supply left of my mood stabilizer and it's going to take 2 weeks to get a refill. Last time I came off the mood stabilizer suddenly I became suicidal so I'm worried. I'm on other medications though like rexulti which is both an anti depressant and anti psychotic and Zoloft also so I might be fine this time

I used to deal with very bad anxiety and it really frustrates me that I can't really help anyone in here going through it because I don't really know what I went through that finally lifted it for me. It was probably a progressive loss of that anxious feeling but I'm just not entirely sure what method I used. I think I had to learn to rationalize literally everything and especially the shit that got my anxiety up and flaring. Whenever I would get in to a situation or mindset that had me worrying, I would always try to think through logically if it is worth worrying about or not. I don't think it matters if you actually succeed and stop yourself from worrying, all that matters in the beginning is that you start to form the habit. I started to do this for the literal hundreds of situations that I would stress out over. Over time, it became automatic for me to think logically about whether a situation is worth worrying over or not, and after doing it so much, most of the time I can dispel anxiety and worry nearly instantly if I just consider the logic of it. The hard part, like everything else in regards to changing your psychology is that it takes time and is going to be frustrating the first hundred and maybe even thousand times. But that old saying that the master has tried more times than the beginner has failed is really relevant, even here. I think the psyche has to be trained like a muscle (except maybe in situations of chemical imbalance or physical problems with the brain that cause issues, in which case medication might be the best course). It's one of the reasons I've found going cold turkey with addictions works for a very minute amount of people, because it's like trying to bench press 300 pounds when you're just starting to work out. [editline]13th February 2017[/editline] [QUOTE=Pascall;51817095]Does anyone have those days where they don't feel much of anything besides "tired". It's like my emotions aren't processing at all. I'm just kind of here.[/QUOTE]This sounds like depression to me to be honest.

[QUOTE=Pascall;51817095]Does anyone have those days where they don't feel much of anything besides "tired". It's like my emotions aren't processing at all. I'm just kind of here.[/QUOTE] Every day constantly. May be one or two days each month were I actually feel something.

I don't usually feel tired often but there are days for me where I don't feel anything at all where I'm emotionally numb all day

[QUOTE=Crpto2007;51817914]Only have a week supply left of my mood stabilizer and it's going to take 2 weeks to get a refill. Last time I came off the mood stabilizer suddenly I became suicidal so I'm worried. I'm on other medications though like rexulti which is both an anti depressant and anti psychotic and Zoloft also so I might be fine this time[/QUOTE] The thing is if you also think that you will, you will. The mind is a powerful thing and positive thoughts can do a great deal. If anything, have faith that you won't.

Still overthinking stuff and I keep on recalling/thinking about things I should just forget about. Bugging me so much.

[QUOTE=TrannyAlert;51820328]The thing is if you also think that you will, you will. The mind is a powerful thing and positive thoughts can do a great deal. If anything, have faith that you won't.[/QUOTE] I should be fine this time I have confidence I won't relapse [editline]14th February 2017[/editline] [QUOTE=keda009;51820428]Still overthinking stuff and I keep on recalling/thinking about things I should just forget about. Bugging me so much.[/QUOTE] same here I'm still trying to move on about other stuff

I lied to my psychiatrist today when she asked if I'm still hearing voices after the increased dose. I noticed they didn't go away entirely but were still there. Do they really go away or am I still going to hear them even on meds

No use lying to the psychiatrist - they're there to help you through. I never lied to my psychiatrist, but if she asked something I didn't want to answer I just straight up say "I don't want to tell you." Better say that than lie and have them think you are getting better.

I was worried she would take me off the medication because I like this one it helps with depression as well and the voices are mostly gone but I still get them every now and then throughout the day

Is it a valid option to go hide under a rock and ignore everything? At this rate I'm going to snap from everything going on over here in the US. I feel terrible that I want to ignore everything and that I should keep informed but at the same time my social life is falling apart and I'm starting to suffer at work too. Lashing out, losing friends, getting into hateful screaming matches, and these feelings of uncontrollable rage. I think at this rate I'm gonna be dead by 50 or less from the stress alone.

hey dudes i'm working on a project for a class where the goal is to spread awareness of mental health issues and the various resources we have on or around campus. it's kind of cool cause we've been reaching out to orgs and people and there's a pretty expansive network of help around here. i don't personally know how much these things help and i've been meaning to make use of the counseling services here but i feel like i'm at a place where i can deal with it independently and i can't convince myself otherwise. i go through some dark periods like a lot of people and i have a lot of anxiety issues but i've been slowly improving and i want to see where it takes me. this isn't really a bad idea is it?

Not exactly depressed but my Dog had to be put down yesterday at 14 years old. Came home and she was panting stupidly strong and started roaming the garden none stop looking for something and collapsing every now and then. Vets said she either had a stroke or had a tumour which was squishing her brain, hence the weird stuff. I haven't cried yet since I have a hard time with emotions but maybe it will hit me later on in the week.

so i may finally be getting a therapist

I had suicidal thoughts as I was going to bed last night. Nothing bad happened it just came out of nowhere. I think I should tell my friend about my diagnosis. I think she would be supportive since she also takes medication for depression [editline]15th February 2017[/editline] [QUOTE=Qaus;51825413]so i may finally be getting a therapist[/QUOTE] that's good you're getting a therapist. They help a lot. I've been feeling better since talking to my counselors

[QUOTE=Pascall;51817095]Does anyone have those days where they don't feel much of anything besides "tired". It's like my emotions aren't processing at all. I'm just kind of here.[/QUOTE] That's pretty much me with my supplements. I take NAC which flattens my mood like crazy, but the alternative is that I'm inconsolably depressed most of the time. No surprises that it's used for bipolar disorder. :v:

Kinda sad to be leaving my partial hospitalization program Friday. I think it helped me a lot. I've been there for 4 weeks now and my social workers all said they seen an improvement in me since I first started. I'll be going into a different program but I don't know which one yet

sometimes i wonder if I should die so that i can stop being a burden on people or stop hurting people i like forever then i realize that would hurt them more(or maybe i have an inflated sense of self importance), so it's kind of a feedback loop

I'm not sure how I feel right now. I guess a little bit empty. I felt better when my friend said I was her best friend but we live so far away

I'm worried that I'll never find the right medicine to manage my Depression and Anxiety symptoms. My medication hasn't been working for about three years since I'v been switching from clinic to clinic after I went to college. All of my medication needs to be replaced since they arent working anymore, and the first medication I've switched to made me sick because I accidentally was taking twice the amount I was supposed to. I feel like I'm never going to get better and I'll continue to unravel until I break.

It takes time to find the right one. Nothing worked for me but now I'm on 3 separate medications that help a lot. These are the first ones without any side effects too. I still get mood swings but they aren't as bad anymore. You got to think positive you will get better. Don't listen to those thoughts that say otherwise.

[QUOTE=Mr. Sarcastic;51828532]I'm worried that I'll never find the right medicine to manage my Depression and Anxiety symptoms. My medication hasn't been working for about three years since I'v been switching from clinic to clinic after I went to college. All of my medication needs to be replaced since they arent working anymore, and the first medication I've switched to made me sick because I accidentally was taking twice the amount I was supposed to. I feel like I'm never going to get better and I'll continue to unravel until I break.[/QUOTE] Make notes about which ones give you which side effects, that way when you see your doctor next, they'll be able to discern which will benefit you more.

I was feeling depressed awhile ago but I'm better now. Tomorrow is my family meeting about me which I'm nervous about because of stuff I told my counselor might be brought up like the self harming and suicidal thoughts and voices. I had suicidal thoughts the other night which is worrying but that passed. I feel like if I told my friend all this I don't know what she would think. She will probably be understanding since she has depression. I'm just going to tell her I have these problems but I'm in treatment now. I just feel like she needs to know this about me. she would be the only person I'm going to tell about my diagnosis because I feel comfortable talking about that with her

I'm drunk enough to spill out a bit so here goes: I spun out on the freeway and my car almost flipped over on itself and really the point of posting this is that I realized that I felt basically nothing because I am at the point where I just don't fucking care whether I live or die anymore because life just feels so fucking flat at this point. Ended up cleaning shit up today and hopefully I can just keep climbing out of this massive hole that I have been stuck in. Besides the crash I've been slowly improving because of marijuana and I guess finally having something to do now that I am back in college. I just hope I can keep this up and finally have my own voice in my head back that can drive me to do things in life again. I'm so fucking tired of being tired, of being sick, of living in such dullness. Christ. [editline]15th February 2017[/editline] I guess what I'm saying is that I could of died and realized it but didn't feel anything from it. Now I'm trying to turn things around because of it, more or less.

I woke up with severe depression and suicidal thoughts. I think about hurting myself again

It's just a thought anyway dude, doesn't mean it has to be an action. Be strong

I know and I didn't act on it. I feel better now anyway I'm just waiting for my friend to wake up so I can ask her something

Nice. It's something you'll have to get to grips with since my girlfriend has been not depressed for like 1+ years now but during that time she has still been getting feelings of killing/cutting herself but doesn't know why. Though she just shrugs it off now and continues on