Depression, anxiety, suicidalism and similar disorders, issues and troubles V5 - General

They gave me vistaril whenever I asked for it during my hospitalization. I'm going to try and get a prescription for it because it really does relieve my anxiety. Why do you feel suicidal without it though?

I hate phases of being super down and exhausted to the point of doing nothing all day because I know I'm gonna be normal in a few days but begin the process again to get back here.

[QUOTE=Crpto2007;51934426]They gave me vistaril whenever I asked for it during my hospitalization. I'm going to try and get a prescription for it because it really does relieve my anxiety. Why do you feel suicidal without it though?[/QUOTE] Originally it was due to reliving past trauma and going through old files like my CPS documents. Now it's like a constant aggression and if I miss a Vistaril dose by several hours it's entirely possible I will kill myself or harm someone else. I'm chalking it up to finally being treated for my various illnesses such as bipolar. It's pretty scary...

Just wanting this day to be over. Tomorrow is going to be shit too but I just got to deal with it. I've been overthinking too much today and I'm stressed about tomorrow.

bolognese

So I just had my first therapy session and it went very well. My therapist is so nice and I told her about the girl in my program i like and she gave me really good advice. I think I'm going to feel more confident next time I see her Wednesday because I know what kind of questions to ask now. We talked about other stuff too but mostly about the girl. My day was kinda bad but knowing I have a therapist now is going to help a lot

I'm on slow release 80mg beta blockers for anxiety and this morning I figured I'd try eliminating the "slow release" part by opening the capsule before taking and now I feel pretty chilled out lol guessing it will wear off quicker but might be worth getting some non-slow release ones to take before situations that I know will cause me anxiety (social stuff like meetings especially because I'm autistic)

Hopefully going to get SSI before the year is over. I can't really work for awhile at least a year. But atleast I have some money coming in from DSS. I also got to get an anti anxiety drug to take in stressful situations. I was thinking vistaril but I might go on klonopin

[QUOTE=JustExtreme;51939257]I'm on slow release 80mg beta blockers for anxiety and this morning I figured I'd try eliminating the "slow release" part by opening the capsule before taking and now I feel pretty chilled out lol guessing it will wear off quicker but might be worth getting some non-slow release ones to take before situations that I know will cause me anxiety (social stuff like meetings especially because I'm autistic)[/QUOTE] Do the beta blockers have any bad side effects? Been thinking of getting some for my abysmal anxiety for a while but to be fair i wanna try and get over it without medication.

[QUOTE=SingleAction;51939596]Do the beta blockers have any bad side effects? Been thinking of getting some for my abysmal anxiety for a while but to be fair i wanna try and get over it without medication.[/QUOTE] They only really work on physical symptoms so don't have a pronounced mental effect - slowing down heartbeat reducing sweating, reducing blushing, and general calm are what they seem to do for me. Plus I feel a lot better and less fight-or-flighty in social situations and other situations that normally cause me anxiety.

Feeling sad I might not see that girl Wednesday because there's supposed to be a snowstorm Tuesday I think and the place might close for the day. I also had another psychiatric evaluation this morning they just wanted to know if I'm still experiencing hallucinations and panic attacks so I said yes.

I'm a fucking idiot. I posted a thread onto Fast Threads about my friend supposedly being evicted, but the story has a bunch of holes in it, as well as a gofundme page that I wasn't even told about by my friend and now everyone thinks I'm a complete idiot, as well as a scammer, which is not undeserved. Can someone fucking put me out of my misery already, I do stupid shite like this all the time and I feel like no one wants me here

i gotta get rid of this gaming addiction of mine, but i just don't know where to start

How do I stop living in the past??

It took me awhile to stop living in the past. It just takes time I think. I don't think about the past that much anymore because I think the present is better than the past now. Think about the present and think about things that are going well for you now compared to how they were in the past

And then she moved 200 miles

[QUOTE=Crooky14;51940890]How do I stop living in the past??[/QUOTE] By killing it of course. Kill your Past. An important quote from the game "The Silver Case". Being serious now, Past is very important. You appreciate some small things you though are unimportant to you. The reality show you that you miss them when tou visit them.

[QUOTE=Spectre1406;51940513]i gotta get rid of this gaming addiction of mine, but i just don't know where to start[/QUOTE] Picking up another hobby, something away from the computer would be your best bet. Drawing, creative writing, cycling. He'll, even dnd irl would be a good one.

I think I'm going to start hiking in the mountains.

I thought today was going to be bad but it turned out alright. I'm just worried about the snowstorm fucking everything up. I have another appointment in 2 weeks in which I'm going to be put on klonopin and increased dosage of my anti psychotic medicine. I'm probably going to be put back on primidone also but they are worried about prescribing me that because it might interfer with my mood stabilizer and cause serious side effects like mental confusion so they want me to see a neurologist and ask their opinion. It might interfere with the klonopin too so I have to wait for the neurologist appointment

[QUOTE=Crooky14;51940890]How do I stop living in the past??[/QUOTE] Dont compare your present to your past and if you find yourself beginning to drift towards thinking about it immediately find something else to think about, something nice, like one of the best moments in your life. And even if your present was worse than your past look forward to a brighter future, because even trials end someday.

I've been in a pretty dark place lately. Sleeping in, not remembering things, forgetting to take my medication. I started to see a psychologist again after a good 5 years out of it in November. I originally was on geodon and depakote for bipolar 2. Then a lot of stuff happened. I lost my house, my parents are 1600 miles away, found out they were meth addicts, etc. Ive been In a disassociative state of mind for the past few years since this all started. I consistently think of death, etc, but I'm not in a suicidal state ever. I'm currently trying to get better. I was diagnosed in November with bipolar 1, PTSD and GAD. The reason for the forgetting things is from my lamictal and the enderal. I've been pretty null but trying to break out of this stupor for a long time. Worried about everything including my future. But Rick and Morty oddly seemed to help quite a bit with everything. A lot of the philosophy behind it makes a lot of sense to me. Just needed someone to tell.

Well there goes all denial on my end. During my last hospitalization I was diagnosed again with bipolar and PTSD and I saw a new psychiatrist yesterday for med management and she also diagnosed me with bipolar and PTSD. According to her it can take months to get on the right meds & dosage for bipolar and PTSD. And since I'm pretty sure I also have ADHD this is going to be one wild rollercoaster.

[QUOTE=darksoul69;51943812]Well there goes all denial on my end. During my last hospitalization I was diagnosed again with bipolar and PTSD and I saw a new psychiatrist yesterday for med management and she also diagnosed me with bipolar and PTSD. According to her it can take months to get on the right meds & dosage for bipolar and PTSD. And since I'm pretty sure I also have ADHD this is going to be one wild rollercoaster.[/QUOTE] mental Illness sucks. I was originally diagnosed as schizo effective then they changed it and put it in the computer that I had bipolar disorder and they changed it again to major depressive disorder with psychotic features it's like they can't make up their mind whats wrong with me

Just got my application for Edinburgh University rejected. Alongside my anxiety issues, work, college course, and girl troubles, I feel like a heap of shit. Any advice you guys could give to calm me down? My self-esteem feels bashed up to fuck and I had to spend twenty minutes staring into space to stop myself crying. Thanks guys.

[QUOTE=Deals;51945381]Just got my application for Edinburgh University rejected. Alongside my anxiety issues, work, college course, and girl troubles, I feel like a heap of shit. Any advice you guys could give to calm me down? My self-esteem feels bashed up to fuck and I had to spend twenty minutes staring into space to stop myself crying. Thanks guys.[/QUOTE] University isn't all it's cracked up to be. There's always other options out there. We're here for you if you need anything. To calm down look for some lavender bath salts and take a bath. You should also remember that those things don't define you, rather they are testing you. Girls seem like a big deal but just be yourself and you'll naturally attract them. As for work, it just helps to stop and take a breath sometimes. And it is okay to cry, it's natural.

[QUOTE=Deals;51945381]Just got my application for Edinburgh University rejected. Alongside my anxiety issues, work, college course, and girl troubles, I feel like a heap of shit. Any advice you guys could give to calm me down? My self-esteem feels bashed up to fuck and I had to spend twenty minutes staring into space to stop myself crying. Thanks guys.[/QUOTE] For what it's worth, my experience with Edinburgh University wasn't that great. Had very little support from staff and no guidance on the course at all. Didn't take me long to decide to transfer.

Really getting pushed over the edge today. I don't know what to say, suicide seems so tempting. Life is nothing short of agony. Don't bother responding guys, I won't come back here. I just needed to put this down.

So ever since I quit caffeine I can't do anything - I want to do one thing, start doing it - get bored in literal seconds and start thinking of something else to do. Try that, bored in seconds - repeat for hours. Is that ADHD?

[QUOTE=darksoul69;51947185]So ever since I quit caffeine I can't do anything - I want to do one thing, start doing it - get bored in literal seconds and start thinking of something else to do. Try that, bored in seconds - repeat for hours. Is that ADHD?[/QUOTE] In my experience, yes that is ADHD.