Depression, anxiety, suicidalism and similar disorders, issues and troubles V5 - General

[QUOTE=Mnp;50957823]I don't get suicide. Why do people have to do it?[/QUOTE] Why are we even born? Suicide is just as meaningless as birth, imo.

[QUOTE=antianan;50958390]I've always thought that if god existed i wouldn't want to meet him in person. But hey, don't worry, it's not god who is torturing you. I mean, the guy's got a goddamn eternity to do that after you die, why would he want to do that now when you're still alive?[/QUOTE] And it isn't even God who does the actual torturing, if we're talking Judeo-Christian/Abrahamic religions, he always outsources that to the Devil and his minions. God is more about giving you a choice to do good or to do bad after leaving you with a certain set of circumstances. Sometimes shit happens even when we think we made the right decision, there's that. All we can do is work with what we're given.

[QUOTE=Pascall;50956981]If it's not my sister's five month old child waking me up every morning, it's someone talking loudly outside my bedroom. If it's not someone talking loudly outside my bedroom, it's someone using the treadmill in the garage which is literally on the other side of my wall. If it's not that, it's someone just walking into my room to tell me something stupid and trivial at like 8am when I'm desperately trying to get more sleep. I can't leave. I don't make enough money right now. But I'm starting to get so frustrated. I just want to sleep. Nobody lets me and it's getting to a point where I am going to break down one morning if someone so much as makes a goddamn peep anywhere around my room. I'm so tired just let me sleep.[/QUOTE] I know this fucking feel way to well and i'm in the exact same boat. I live in a very, very noisy area, and when it's not the students which are living in the building in front of mine, literally thirty meters away from my window, that blast music and drink all fucking night, it's drunk people, or cops, or drugged people, or people parking their car just under my window that let the engine run for 30 minutes while talking. It never fucking stops. It's just straight up a shitty neighborhood and there's nothing i can do about it since a one to two pieces shitty flat is around 1'000-1'400$ a month in Geneva, and even then the market is so damn crowded that there's twenty people on a list for one single flat. I swear if i had a gun i would've shot someone long time ago from my window. Because in the end it all comes down to lack of respect. These motherfuckers have no respect. They don't give a fuck that people are living in the buildings next to them. And there's nothing that i hate more than lack of respect. What you can do, and that's what i did, to somewhat alleviate the issues is finding an orthotist and making custom earplugs based on the shape of your ear, usually in silicon or something like that. They inject some kind of resin in your ear, it hardens, and then they send the mold to specialists. It cost around 100 to 200$ but they work amazingly well and you don't feel them at all since they're made for you.

[QUOTE=TheFilmSlacker;50962682]I feel guilty as fuck, but not? I'm so confused and pissed, but I'll keep this short and sweet. I don't post about him anymore, but I grew up from age 5-18 being raised by an intolerant, abusive and sociopathic stepfather. I'm 22 now, but I still have nightmares every week at least once about him. Every day growing up I felt like going downstairs was like marching into a warzone. He didn't drink, he didn't do drugs, he was just a racist, loudmouth redneck who didn't care about anyone but himself, and if you got in the way of anything he did, no matter how selfish (spending food money on updated music equipment from what he already had) or abusive (choking and beating our dog to the point where his head caved in), look the fuck out. I'm still recovering, even after nearly 2 years. But my REAL father walked out on me before I was 2. He was on drugs, used to beat me as a baby, abused my mom, he was dangerous. Mom took him to court, he lost. And ever since I was 16, he's been trying to get back in my life. He's off drugs, he has a good job, good wife, he even had me be the best man at his wedding a few years ago. So why am I so pissed that he's trying? Every conversation we have, he apologizes at least once for not being there, not seeing me grow up. I don't want to burden him with all the shit that happened to me, but he knows about the abuse I took. He mentions things like being sorry and "oh, that's terrible", but even though he's putting on a good face, it all feels like complete bullshit. All I ever knew growing up was my stepfather's side of the family, who resented me for not sharing their "Christian values". My mom's side never visited, never called, nothing. I knew them, but after she married my stepfather, everything went to shit between them. So now I get introduced to this BRAND NEW OTHER SIDE OF MY FAMILY, all of them treating me like I'm some kind of celebrity because they haven't seen me since my infancy. They're almost all very nice, too. So why the hell am I so pissed at him? I feel like a piece of human garbage for not just being able to accept something positive in my life for once. I'm moved in with my girlfriend and two roommates in the city now and things are finally starting to feel like real life. I wanna get everything in check, but I don't know how to accept all this. In my dreams, I kill my stepfather almost every night. Every time mom talks to me, she always mentions him with glowing praise, and as much as I love her, I just want to scream "SHUT THE FUCK UP" every time she says his name, let alone praises him. She knows about the abuse. She knows I nearly took my own life SIX FUCKING TIMES because of him. I don't know how you can just fucking sit there and smile at me saying how much he misses me. I wish he was dead. Not just dead, tortured for days, weeks, in the most fucked up way possible, and then left to starve. I have never and will never feel that way about anyone else but him. He stole my childhood from me and tells me and siblings to "get the fuck over it" whenever anything comes up. If I'd called the police as a kid, this would all be done with, but right now he's hosting my mom, my 14 year old sister, my 19 year old brother, his girlfriend and their infant son. I need to get them out of there. The abuse is still continuing, but nothing physical. I actually feel sick like I'm going to fucking throw up just typing this. I just want to eventually be a father that breaks this chain of abuse. Seeing parents yell needlessly at their kids in public angers me more than almost anything in the world because I was there once. Nothing you say matters when you're brought up by a sociopath. I need to go puke. Sorry for ranting this long.[/QUOTE] Why are you pissed at him? Isnt it obvious, he abandoned you, regardless of his own demons he left you in that shit. And you have every right. It is down to you wether or not you accept him into your life or not, give it a think. This is coming from someone who has cut complete contact with his birth family and now lives his own life under a new name. I did what was necessary and i gave it thought and dont regret it a single day. You have every right to be pissed off, but it is also your decision if you want him in your life.

Aww fuck, I didn't end up dead last night. So much for that though guess I'll just have to wait.

[QUOTE=TheFilmSlacker;50962682]snip I need to go puke. Sorry for ranting this long.[/QUOTE] honestly? it's your decision if you don't want him any more in your life. And judging by the shit he put you through (I remember you mentioning a lot of this before as well) you're well within your rights to toss him aside like a piece of trash. If you personally feel that further association with him amounts to mental torture, you're better off keeping away from him. On the flip side, he might simply be trying to turn over a new leaf. However, what your mom's saying smacks hard of Stockholm Syndrome to me.

Is there such thing as antirage pills?

[QUOTE=RoboChimp;50963163]Is there such thing as antirage pills?[/QUOTE] Not really, although in my case Ritalin helped quite a lot. But this also depends on a person by person basis. Also I really feel like burning my prom pics. I really don't want to remember my prom partner. Sure she's a great girl but god damn the experience I had with her was too negative to remember. I'll probably do that once I'll move out anyway.

[QUOTE={TFS} Rock Su;50963888]Not really, although in my case Ritalin helped quite a lot. But this also depends on a person by person basis. Also I really feel like burning my prom pics. I really don't want to remember my prom partner. Sure she's a great girl but god damn the experience I had with her was too negative to remember. I'll probably do that once I'll move out anyway.[/QUOTE] Do it now, dont linger. What will happen is you'll forget them then find em one day and just relapse, get rid of them now.

[QUOTE=MxOAgentJohnson;50963898]Do it now, dont linger. What will happen is you'll forget them then find em one day and just relapse, get rid of them now.[/QUOTE] I don't live alone yet + the last thing I need right now is the fury of my parents if they do find out about it. :ohno:

[QUOTE={TFS} Rock Su;50963907]I don't live alone yet + the last thing I need right now is the fury of my parents if they do find out about it. :ohno:[/QUOTE] Oh right, are they stuck up in a frame in the dining room or something? That changes it haha I thought you meant just personal photos you kept looking at.

[QUOTE=coyote93;50958073]They don't have to. It's a choice. A choice everyone should be able to take if they want to. If someone is tired of their life, and every day in their life is exhausting and full of pain, then why shouldn't they be able to choose to end it?[/QUOTE] This is case of being disabled. Lots of cases are of people killing themselves even though they have good job, good car, good family.. maybe just depression + boredom.

welp 2016 has been a good year so far absolutely obliterated any social ties or any chance to restore normal relations with my long time crush, got thrown out of uni during 4th year, owe quite some money to said uni, and just broke up with my girlfriend of 6 months

What happened at the uni

I think what's been missing from my life is I'm no longer excited about Metal Gear Solid V the way I used to be it's almost been a year and I haven't found anything to fill that hole

I just want the pain to go away [editline]29th August 2016[/editline] [QUOTE={TFS} Rock Su;50963888]Not really, although in my case Ritalin helped quite a lot. But this also depends on a person by person basis. Also I really feel like burning my prom pics. I really don't want to remember my prom partner. Sure she's a great girl but god damn the experience I had with her was too negative to remember. I'll probably do that once I'll move out anyway.[/QUOTE] it's probably best you do, I got rid of everything that reminded me of my ex and got rid of all photos as well

[QUOTE=The bird Man;50965141]What happened at the uni[/QUOTE] My crush was (well, still is) in my uni class Basically the combination of me going crazy for her attention and throwing studying under the bus and her being a horrible person There's more to it obviously but that's the tl dr

Trying to get my shit back on track, which mainly means fighting anxiety and doing my shit like i used to. Moderately successful so far but i still get that "spaced out" feeling like i'm not really connected to my environment, it's weird and annoying as fuck and i can't pinpoint why it happens.

I get that spaced out feeling a lot and feeling disconnected from everything. When I was on anti psychotics it went away a little

Today I'm switching meds from sertralin to Venlafaxine, anyone have any experience with the latter?

Setralin worked for me but I felt like a zombie. Used it for 1 month and quit.

How do you deal with depression due to mental problems you can't control?(Adult ADHD). I say bad shit to my friends and act really bad to the few friends I still have left and then I just hate my self even more.

And I just learned I'm losing my job because I keep fucking up and its hard to concentrate and remember all the names and numbers. Might as well fucking end it all now.

Don't suppose you folks have any ideas what could be causing extreme exhaustion? Like holy shit I am tired. I've been on prescription B12 supplements for 50 days now as I had low levels of it but I still don't feel any better. If anything, I might be feeling worse which just tells me there might be something else as well zapping me for my energy. I don't feel particularly sad or depressed, just very apathetic and tiiiiiiired. My next appointment with my doctor is in March. Gonna check my vitamin D and B12 then. Such a long time to wait though, I think I want to schedule one like next week or so. Would suck so much if there's something more than just vitamin deficiencies and I won't know until March next year. Any idea what I could ask about? Sleep apnea? Whacky thyroid? What else could possibly be causing this? [editline]29th August 2016[/editline] Maybe it's just due to me not feeling at home at all when home. I don't feel like I belong here. If I remember correctly, I had a lot more energy back when I had the house for myself for 2 weeks straight.

[QUOTE=damnatus;50966757]My crush was (well, still is) in my uni class Basically the combination of me going crazy for her attention and throwing studying under the bus and her being a horrible person There's more to it obviously but that's the tl dr[/QUOTE] Sorry to hear that comrade.. You should love women, but know that you are important too. Next time put yourself first - women will love you more just because of that.

Kinda hard to do that, especially when you were raised to put others before yourself And then you meet her, who fucking flaunts her selfishness like it's something to be proud of

Someday, you gotta learn to put yourself in first place. If you dedicate too much of your time to others you end up with nothing to show for yourself. Besides putting your well being in first plan isn't always a bad thing dude. After all you deserve happiness too. As much as any other person. I know how you feel but you gotta learn man. No girl in the world is worth this kinda of suffering. If she's treating you badly then she doesn't deserve anything from you.

Why is suicide so difficult? Everything I read points to it actually being pretty hard to successfully pull off. I'm kind of scared of it, too. Thinking about killing myself gives me some anxiety. Yet, I'm also tired of living. In principle, I want to kill myself, but the act itself is too scary. Every day I think about it, I think about making a plan to finally do it, but I don't want to expend the energy and have it not be a success.

[QUOTE={TFS} Rock Su;50963888]Not really, although in my case Ritalin helped quite a lot. But this also depends on a person by person basis. Also I really feel like burning my prom pics. I really don't want to remember my prom partner. Sure she's a great girl but god damn the experience I had with her was too negative to remember. I'll probably do that once I'll move out anyway.[/QUOTE]Yeah, but I need something, I get way too angry about things that are out of my control. At my high school formal (Prom) the girl I took was only a friend, not some I'd date (I barely remember that night at all). Those high school things aren't really going to effect you later in life, so if you do well in your tertiary education and meet some new people, high school will just fade into the background and the you do well at will become important. At the end of the day no one is forcing you to remember unpleasant things, so you may as well just forget.

I thought my depression fucked off but now it's coming back again and this time its worse and I feel so afraid and so alone. My gf just left me I don't think she's coming back and I just want to sit here all day and do nothing