Depression, anxiety, suicidalism and similar disorders, issues and troubles V5 - General

Anyone knows how to deal with involuntary ticks? I usually get them when I'm stressed or really worked up about something.

I think my least favorite thing about depression is that first day where you realize you're about to slip back into another episode into it. It's around the time you've played most of Radiohead's discography on repeat and eaten nothing and laid in bed all day

Anyone know why I'm so angry all the time. Does never getting enough sleep have anything to do with that?

[QUOTE=IJNOMED;52037628] [editline]31st March 2017[/editline] Sorry for the late reply but why does the person you want to talk to not want to talk to you? [editline]31st March 2017[/editline] [/QUOTE] I'll be the one to break k-fabe and admit that Gustav is talking about me. I don't want to get too deep in it because I'm still really unsure about myself currently, but it's not that I don't want to speak to her, au contraire I'd love to be able to, but every time we talk I can feel myself quickly slipping to a place I was at when we were dating that I'd rather not return to. It's explicitly a problem with me and my absolute lack of self control. [editline]1st April 2017[/editline] [QUOTE=RoboChimp;52040883]Anyone know why I'm so angry all the time. Does never getting enough sleep have anything to do with that?[/QUOTE] I can attest having worked almost 2 years of overnights that not getting enough sleep makes me INSANELY irritable

Showed my girlfriend this thread and she wants to know what the actual effects of the drugs that a doctor would prescribe for anxiety are. Like what do they actually do to you to make you feel better and what does it 'fix' to make you feel better.

[QUOTE=No Party Hats;52041466]I can attest having worked almost 2 years of overnights that not getting enough sleep makes me INSANELY irritable[/QUOTE]Ah, perhaps I should regulate my sleeping pattern.

[QUOTE=RoboChimp;52042017]Ah, perhaps I should regulate my sleeping pattern.[/QUOTE] Honestly I've tried that and my schedule just doesn't allow for it. Try taking roughly hour long naps during the day, that always juices me up Speaking of juices, drink more juice! Your body is happier and subsequently your mind when you're full of tasty healthy things

[QUOTE=TrannyAlert;52041984]Showed my girlfriend this thread and she wants to know what the actual effects of the drugs that a doctor would prescribe for anxiety are. Like what do they actually do to you to make you feel better and what does it 'fix' to make you feel better.[/QUOTE] Basically when you have an anxiety disorder (or any other mental disorder) your brain's chemistry changes and that's why it's so hard to get better on your own. The drugs help the brain to produce more seratonin (i think) and so you start to feel happier and more relaxed. At least that's how it worked for me. I started to worry less, build up my confidence and stopped being so negative. It takes time of course, usually a month for them to kick in and then you take it from there. You should still visit the psychologist/psychiatrist every once in a while to talk.

[QUOTE=penguiner;52042106]Basically when you have an anxiety disorder (or any other mental disorder) your brain's chemistry changes and that's why it's so hard to get better on your own. The drugs help the brain to produce more seratonin (i think) and so you start to feel happier and more relaxed. At least that's how it worked for me. I started to worry less, build up my confidence and stopped being so negative. It takes time of course, usually a month for them to kick in and then you take it from there. You should still visit the psychologist/psychiatrist every once in a while to talk.[/QUOTE] She's started to give it a second thought now. Thanks a lot for your guys help, will update in the future

[QUOTE=nagachief;52037159]I know how to make them, but because they are completely unpredictable in rising behavior I cannot consistently get them right. On top of doing everything else at the same time because I have to. I struggle at multitasking. I know I probably sound fucking stupid. And she's a family friend, that's why she can text me.[/QUOTE] I've been at my job for a while and I get how you feel, you've just got to be confident with the fact that not everything is in your control. Make whoever is bothering you acutely aware of that fact, otherwise they'll dangle it over you.

[QUOTE=No Party Hats;52042080]Honestly I've tried that and my schedule just doesn't allow for it. Try taking roughly hour long naps during the day, that always juices me up Speaking of juices, drink more juice! Your body is happier and subsequently your mind when you're full of tasty healthy things[/QUOTE]Juice is nice, but it can give me acid reflux.

Life's starting to get so monotonous it isn't funny these days. I wish I was back in my old job, but there'd be no time to study properly if I was. I hope all this effort will be worth it this year, at least.

My anxiety has been improving slightly over the past couple of days, but I still feel kind of numb about everything. Lack of feelings or motivation, eating, etc. Does that go away at all if I keep focusing on curbing my anxiety and taking my drugs? It's just causing more worry for me and I keep wondering if it'll ever stop.

I've started having this weird stress response that whenever I get upset I get incredibly nauseous. I have nausea medication but I'm afraid when that runs out in about a week I'm going to go back into throwing up. I don't think I'm having a good week.

Welp, did nothing all day then had a panic attack

I absolutely hate manipulative customers, IE mostly parents and old people do this, they'll order something very specific: "A[I] strawberry banana smoothie[/I] with[I] two scoops[/I] of [I]vanilla [/I]protein powder." I'll make it exactly how they want it, even repeat the order back to them after they have ordered it (a thing I learned while working at mcdonalds to avoid ringing up the wrong order) and then they'll gaslight me and accuse me of not adding enough protein when I am showing them as I make it. They make me very anxious and then I panick and today I actually cried at work. This hasn't happened in a long time. I learned to keep my composure at work but today I slipped up. It's okay because I was in the middle of closing, but still. And the fact that a mother was screaming at her child who wanted a consession snack at my cafe, she lifted him up and he smashed his head on the edge of the outside countertop so hard I [I]actually felt it. Like for a split second my brain tricked me into thinking I bumped my head and I flinched. The current customer who I was serving asked me what was wrong with me and I started stuttering.[/I] I don't understand what just happened but It's freaking me out still. I'm just sitting in my gym's lobby right now because I closed up the smoothie bar (Shift is over.) Waiting for a ride because of this awful april snowstorm mother nature shat on me. [editline]1st April 2017[/editline] I made a mistake and took 5mg of my perscribed prozac even though I had gone cold turkey and been much better off for 2 months. It messed me up today I think. It's a low enough doseage to where I can just not take it again. My appetite is non-existant because of it. :(

Nah look I've had it, I can win any argument at based on any logic ever, everybody is fucking smart than. I obviously look at things from the wrong perspective as people constantly attack me for making the smallest point, I'm not making enough money or even have any worthwhile skills and no one fucking gets along with me and despite ever fucking effort I've made seems to lead to zero self improvement what so ever. It's not this community it's fucking everywhere. Everyone complains about but no one has any advice or solutions. My brain and personality is fucking defective, even an asshole can get a well paying job. So fucking hell, I'm clearly some sort of fucking waste of space who was never meant to be born. And I'm fucking dyslexic. Am I having a nervous breakdown? I don't want to be like any more, what do I do?

[QUOTE=RoboChimp;52043867]Nah look I've had it, I can win any argument at based on any logic ever, everybody is fucking smart than. I obviously look at things from the wrong perspective as people constantly attack me for making the smallest point, I'm not making enough money or even have any worthwhile skills and no one fucking gets along with me and despite ever fucking effort I've made seems to lead to zero self improvement what so ever. It's not this community it's fucking everywhere. Everyone complains about but no one has any advice or solutions. My brain and personality is fucking defective, even an asshole can get a well paying job. So fucking hell, I'm clearly some sort of fucking waste of space who was never meant to be born. And I'm fucking dyslexic. Am I having a nervous breakdown? I don't want to be like any more, what do I do?[/QUOTE] Hey, the amount of money you make is not indicative of worth or intelligence. You're not defective or a waste of space, I promise. People can just be assholes. Take a deep breathe and know that just the effort you're putting in is great! Because not everyone is willing to put effort in.

Uh, hi. This is actually my first time posting here and probably not the last. Anyways: I keep relapsing into a state of regret over someone I met online who turned out to be just absolutely unpleasant; at this point, I've tried to forget about them but no matter what the thoughts keep coming back. I'm lost. I can continue on even when I know there's someone out there who absolutely despises me, but nothing about this entire situation feels right even after it's already done with.

I hate breakups I know that's not a new sentiment or a particularly unique one but you go through our life telling yourself you're not worthwhile, and that your issues with mental health hold you back from the rest of the world And then you meet someone who tells you it's okay, despite all that they like you and then tell you all of those things you're so self concious about that they can't be with you for And you can't blame them. It's a lot to deal with and completely understandable but it doesn't stop it from fucking stinging

[QUOTE=Dr. Kyuros;52044574]Uh, hi. This is actually my first time posting here and probably not the last. Anyways: I keep relapsing into a state of regret over someone I met online who turned out to be just absolutely unpleasant; at this point, I've tried to forget about them but no matter what the thoughts keep coming back. I'm lost. I can continue on even when I know there's someone out there who absolutely despises me, but nothing about this entire situation feels right even after it's already done with.[/QUOTE] I wouldn't worry too much about it. There will always be people who don't like you, no matter how kind you are or shitty they are. [QUOTE=Dick Slamfist;52044792]I hate breakups I know that's not a new sentiment or a particularly unique one but you go through our life telling yourself you're not worthwhile, and that your issues with mental health hold you back from the rest of the world And then you meet someone who tells you it's okay, despite all that they like you and then tell you all of those things you're so self concious about that they can't be with you for And you can't blame them. It's a lot to deal with and completely understandable but it doesn't stop it from fucking stinging[/QUOTE] The thing about break-ups is that they will always feel unique because it's a new experience for you, even when it's really not. They suck, but hopefully it makes you feel a bit better that everybody hates them no matter what side they're on.

I found a psychiatrist not so far from here. I'm not sure if she's still active or not when I looked it up on Google it says it's a psychiatrist center but when I looked at the site it says it's some kind of school. Nevertheless I will go there and try to talk with the psychiatrist. I hope she could accommodate me and help me. I've never done this before. I'm nervous and I don't know what to do, I don't even know if the person is still there or not. I'm going in with no ID nor money and I hope I just get helped. Wish me luck.

[QUOTE=GoldAssassin;52047110]I found a psychiatrist not so far from here. I'm not sure if she's still active or not when I looked it up on Google it says it's a psychiatrist center but when I looked at the site it says it's some kind of school. Nevertheless I will go there and try to talk with the psychiatrist. I hope she could accommodate me and help me. I've never done this before. I'm nervous and I don't know what to do, I don't even know if the person is still there or not. I'm going in with no ID nor money and I hope I just get helped. Wish me luck.[/QUOTE] You got it, bro. Gotta take that first step. Even if it doesn't work out, it'll get you more used to pursuing different leads.

I hate people that flake out of my life without a last word. Not that it happens often but I usually get stuck on it for a long time. I've tried various techniques to try to give myself some artificial sense of closure but it never helps for long. I hate this.

What do you mean another lead? Next psychiatrist is hundreds miles away and I have no money. I'm at the place and there's no one here. I need to get home fast before my parents starts asking questions and it's fucking raining so I can't get home. I've called the number and they won't answer. I've knocked on the door and thet won't answer as well. It's not started yet and it's already fucking terrible. I need help bad and medication. Just talking through won't fix my ADHD. [editline]2nd April 2017[/editline] If this doesn't work then I don't know what does. This is my last resort and if this doesn't work than this will probably be the last you'll hear from me.

:snip:

I'm only gone for 30 minutes and the glass door to the kitchen is shattered because my parents were fighting again. Apparently my father got angry and shut the door so it broke. I can't really blame him though, my mother's really manipulative and it can drive people nuts. While she picked me up from the city with the car, before I saw the door, she told me how my father said nasty things about me. that I'm a loser etc. But he said that he'd never say that and I believe him. So basically: My mother provoked my father a lot, my father broke the door, my mother tells me how dangerous he is, even though I know how manipulative and mentally unstable she is. She just poured out all the wine my father had because she said "He's gonna drink and hurt us." Even though only drinks at maximum one beer per day. And the worst thing is, I'm so used to all this stuff, family members being physically threatened by my mother, furniture breaking because of fights, that I'm now completely indifferent to this kind of stuff. It's not the situation that I'm in that is kliling me. It's that I'm now indifferent to anything. Even in everyday life, I feel barely any emotions. I've been in this state of mind been since I'm like 12 and now I'm almost 18 and it's just getting worse. I know what I should be feeling, but I don't actually feel it. So I react how I think I should be reacting, but it feels so forced now, which it didn't before. I'm feeling more detached of my body every day. Some days feel like everything's a dream, like I'm experiencing the world through a metaphorical veil, everything feels so numb. Sometimes it's like I'm not even in my body anymore, like I was completely drifting off and it's hard for me to focus on the real world, to pay attention in class or to keep a conversation going for example. I feel like I've reached the end now, someone please just remove me from this world.

[QUOTE=Gorgus;52048146]I'm only gone for 30 minutes and the glass door to the kitchen is shattered because my parents were fighting again. Apparently my father got angry and shut the door so it broke. I can't really blame him though, my mother's really manipulative and it can drive people nuts. While she picked me up from the city with the car, before I saw the door, she told me how my father said nasty things about me. that I'm a loser etc. But he said that he'd never say that and I believe him. So basically: My mother provoked my father a lot, my father broke the door, my mother tells me how dangerous he is, even though I know how manipulative and mentally unstable she is. She just poured out all the wine my father had because she said "He's gonna drink and hurt us." Even though only drinks at maximum one beer per day. And the worst thing is, I'm so used to all this stuff, family members being physically threatened by my mother, furniture breaking because of fights, that I'm now completely indifferent to this kind of stuff. It's not the situation that I'm in that is kliling me. It's that I'm now indifferent to anything. Even in everyday life, I feel barely any emotions. It's been like that since I'm like 12 and now I'm almost 18 and it's just getting worse. I know what I should be feeling, but I don't actually feel it. So I react how I think I should be reacting, but it feels so forced now, which it didn't before. I'm feeling more detached of my body every day. Some days feel like everything's a dream, like I'm experiencing the worls through a metaphorical veil, everything feels so numb. Sometimes it's like I'm not even in my body anymore, like I was completely drifting off and it's hard for me to focus on the real world, to pay attention in class or to keep a conversation for example. I feel like I've reached the end now, someone please just remove me from this world.[/QUOTE] Coming from an abusive and unstable upbringing, I just have to say I understand this feeling and you're not alone. I'm not as eloquent as you guys so I'm sorry if my sympathies seem shallow here. The way I learned to pull myself back down to earth was to remember that I've got an obligation to myself to be successful and enjoy life, and hopefully one day I'll be able to give my own kid the stability and happiness that me (and you) have had to fight for. Just keep strong brother, if you ever need to vent add me on steam, I'm much better at communicating in dialogue I swear!!

Thanks for your support guys! Apparently now my mom is completely losing is. She called my sister on her phone but only the answering machine anwered the phone. Then my mother had a dialogue with my sister that wasn't even on the telephone, since only the answering machine was on. My sister described how my mother had a dialogue, like answering questions and saying goodbye and all that stuff even though my sister didn't answer the phone. I know that she talks to herself sometimes, I didn't know that it was that bad though. She's not as bad as she used to be concerning physical violence. She used to hit my sisters until they bled out of their noses because they couldn't tell her the multiplication table fast enough. I mean sure, she hit me as a kid when I spilled water accidentally, but her talking to people on an answering machine that aren't actually there worries me, I feel like it's getting worse again. I'm also afraid that I subconsciously adopt some of her personality traits because of her raising me. I'm even more afraid that it might be an inheritable psychological disorder that I might have inherited. Maybe I'm a bit too paranoid though ... But honestly guys, does anybody of you know why a person like my mother might act so unpredictably and talks to herself? She's so impulsive, I feel like it could be a lot of reasons but I need a direction at least.

[QUOTE=Kiwi;52049498]As someone else was also apart of similar situations I actually removed myself from that environment and went to go live somewhere else. Dunno if you have a viable alternative other than living there but a toxic household like that is a environment where nobody should live. Also depersonalization is something that I also experienced within that environment but there were also other other factors. Stay strong though.[/QUOTE] You have a really good point: If it's viable, remove yourself from the environment. I remember junior/senior year of high school trying to spend as much time as I could outside of the house, especially after my step mother threatened to kill my father. [QUOTE=Gorgus;52049538]Thanks for your support guys! I'm also afraid that I subconsciously adopt some of her personality traits because of her raising me. I'm even more afraid that it might be an inheritable psychological disorder that I might have inherited. Maybe I'm a bit too paranoid though ... But honestly guys, does anybody of you know why a person like my mother might act so unpredictably and talks to herself? She's so impulsive, I feel like it could be a lot of reasons but I need a direction at least.[/QUOTE] Man, I know that fear of basically inheriting emotional turmoil and being damaged by our parents, but I think the most important thing is to be conscious of it and try to overcome the adversity you face by fighting against it. I don't think you're being paranoid, it's a very valid concern but it doesn't mean you're doomed to be like that when you're older. Mental illness is an incredible and terrifying thing. It changes people and manifests for decades. I've seen very successful and well adjusted people be torn down by depression that doesn't hit until mid-forties. As strangers on the internet we can't really diagnose anybody, but violence isn't healthy.