Depression, anxiety, suicidalism and similar disorders, issues and troubles V5 - General

[QUOTE=Booker K;52107444]I wish I never met any of my ex-friends because they're one of the reasons why I drink and still think nobody cares about me. Honestly, fuck them. I wouldn't be so avoidant making friends and deriving myself in self pity at home if it wasn't for them.[/QUOTE] Drinking problems dont come from other people, they come from you. I dont know who the other people are or what they did for you to be angry at them, but dont reach for the bottle because of that. Dont use whatever anger and bitterness you have as an excuse to drink. It's a downwards spiral that is hard to get out of. There is also the possibility that these friends dont know what they did to make you feel the way you do, try to communicate with them if you have problems and dont isolate them out of your life when they can be the support you need. And people do care about you. People here do care, but it only shows if you yourself care.

I notice it's the little things that are keeping me up at night. I have a terrible and debilitating cold. My parents and my sister went out for dinner a few days ago and I didn't even know. They brought me home leftovers from that dinner, I ate it and it made me super sick to my stomach. Told them that too. Then today they went out for dinner again. Knew that the place that they go to makes me sick, they knew that I was also cold sick so they straight up hinted that they would bring home something, but they didn't. Normally I wouldn't care because whatever, but trivial shit like this is starting to affect me. I can't complain. I don't pay rent. I don't pay for food. Feels like shit every time this sort of thing happens because it makes me think about those things.

[QUOTE=Crpto2007;52107431]I wish I knew exactly what happened to me and why I am this way. I can't change who I am my mental illness is so severe it's disabled every aspect of my life. It never used to be this bad but I know most of it is because of my ex girlfriend. I can't explain why I can't function like a normal person. Even with medication I still have problems. I have to live a life being this way and it's not fair at all. I tried to better myself but I think I really am hopeless.[/QUOTE] Hey! Something happened and you are right now like this again? Is it the mood changer problem you have? Also what happened with the girl you met in your group meetings?

[QUOTE=Crpto2007;52106067]I'm currently taking rexulti. I stopped taking the seroquel because I noticed after about 2 weeks of taking it my depression came back and I had thoughts of suicide and self harm. Idk what happened but I was fine at first on seroquel then all those thoughts came back[/QUOTE] Dude it took me months for those bad thoughts to decrease and to get them under control. You have to stick with it or else you'll never see results. That goes for any medication. I STILL get those thoughts even after being on it for 8 months. The medication isn't going to magically make them disappear forever. It's supposed to help you get them under control and come enough time be less frequent. "I was fine at first on seroquel" chances are you felt fine because you felt optimistic about starting a new medication - but that's not enough time to actually see results. I'm no doctor so I can't tell you what to do but if I were you I would've stuck to the seroquel for a good amount of time. If in a few months you still don't feel any better, then by all means don't take it but you have to give it a fair shot to work and do what it's supposed to do.

[QUOTE=SweetShark;52107937]Hey! Something happened and you are right now like this again? Is it the mood changer problem you have? Also what happened with the girl you met in your group meetings?[/QUOTE] just a mood changer, I'm still talking to her we have a concert coming up together [editline]15th April 2017[/editline] [QUOTE=Blazyd;52108186]Dude it took me months for those bad thoughts to decrease and to get them under control. You have to stick with it or else you'll never see results. That goes for any medication. I STILL get those thoughts even after being on it for 8 months. The medication isn't going to magically make them disappear forever. It's supposed to help you get them under control and come enough time be less frequent. "I was fine at first on seroquel" chances are you felt fine because you felt optimistic about starting a new medication - but that's not enough time to actually see results. I'm no doctor so I can't tell you what to do but if I were you I would've stuck to the seroquel for a good amount of time. If in a few months you still don't feel any better, then by all means don't take it but you have to give it a fair shot to work and do what it's supposed to do.[/QUOTE] I should give it another chance but I hate feeling that way. I was on a high dose of rexulti prior and I was doing relatively good on it until my psychiatrist took me off it.

I get shit on 24/7 by literally everyone while already being hard on myself so it really doesn't help at all, I'm also stressed out as fuck with uni but no one seems to care and continues to shit all over me anyway...

I had a best friend betray me, literally turned his back on me on the flip of a switch. I was working with a road crew, and we hired in two of his family members. They all had the same story, and I was terminated so he could get my leadman position. It's been rough. They made it seem like I was the problem, and my Boss wouldn't believe me because ''three guys won't lie''. I've worked for him longer than anybody. Him not believing me made me feel like Hatter from that Alice movie, literally took it out of me. It's been hard moving on from this. My anxiety has been so high, and I've been so depressed. It's so hard for me to trust or talk to anyone anymore. I've been a major recluse. I live in Dallas, TX now. So I'm hoping things get better. I need to get another gaming computer, and just start playing with my friends online again, I know that'll make me feel better. It's been so hard moving on from this. Sorry, just needed to rant.

I feel really horrible right now. Someone I care for a lot doesn't want to talk to me anymore due to the mere presence of me is a reminder for them that they're in a bad situation and that we won't be able to physically meet each other sooner. I made the mistake of delivering her my current situation of not being financially able to move to their country a little too cynically last night, but I just felt down too when I asked my family how to be able to get to her sooner. They said their care and hope was crushed last night because of that but I really don't want to just give up. They have been going through a lot in her life but I still want to be able to be with them. I really don't know what else to do at the moment.

Is the idea that "hitting your lowest point means you can only go up" really true? I've heard of it a bunch of times, but I feel like I just truly experienced it. I've been dealing with a lot of issues with one of my close group of friends, rejection, and the sadness of a lot of my close friends graduating. I ended up going to a party, drank a lot, hit what felt like the worst feelings I've ever felt, went to sleep, and today I feel as though everything is amazing. I realized a lot of my issues are either non-issues or things that will take time to heal.

[QUOTE=huntingrifle;52110789]Is the idea that "hitting your lowest point means you can only go up" really true? I've heard of it a bunch of times, but I feel like I just truly experienced it. I've been dealing with a lot of issues with one of my close group of friends, rejection, and the sadness of a lot of my close friends graduating. I ended up going to a party, drank a lot, hit what felt like the worst feelings I've ever felt, went to sleep, and today I feel as though everything is amazing. I realized a lot of my issues are either non-issues or things that will take time to heal.[/QUOTE] I've hit my lowest point before and really thought all hope was lost but I was wrong and things got much better. It takes time, alot of time. You're gonna have days which are good and then days which make you move 2 steps backwards but you gotta keep pushing through. I personally don't like saying 'hitting your lowest point' because truthfully bad things can keep happening, but so do the good things

Anyone else start feeling really irritable for no reason sometimes? Like all of a sudden your body is producing all this adrenaline and you can't relax? It happened to me last night and it ruined my night

[QUOTE=Crpto2007;52112445]Anyone else start feeling really irritable for no reason sometimes? Like all of a sudden your body is producing all this adrenaline and you can't relax? It happened to me last night and it ruined my night[/QUOTE] I get this all the time, I don't want to be seen as that type of person but it just comes out every now and then when something ticks in my head.

[QUOTE=Crpto2007;52112445]Anyone else start feeling really irritable for no reason sometimes? Like all of a sudden your body is producing all this adrenaline and you can't relax? It happened to me last night and it ruined my night[/QUOTE] Yep, when I have a lot of work to do in my workplace and I didn't finished everything I wanted in the first place. Also when the people wake me up and they want to serve them with their needs. After that I feel so much energy that sleep is out of the question. However for me is also a good energy because it keep me motivated to do more things that I couldn't do if I was sleeping So I guess is a 50/50 win? yay

It's called anxiety

Alright, I'm cutting down on my anti depressants. I've decided to quit em, not cold turkey but slowly.

I want a reason to be alive. Hours of entertainment doesn't seem to make me happy (it only does temporarily).

5am. Can't sleep again. I have these thought sessions where I think back to all the people who've recently wronged me and decide whether or not if they're wrong or not. It's common enough that it's considered a meme, I think. Problem is that I cannot come to an impartial decision because of all my biases towards that person. So far I think that all people who have a problem with me only dislike me as of recent because of their own problems but obviously that's obvious a terrible way of thinking because that just gives me an excuse to act like an asshole. But jesus dicks 95% of the people who I can think of who wronged me in the past have SERIOUS issues. The 5% apologize later for their behavior. And it's not like I spend hours looking up dirt on them, most of the time they just throw dirt out in the open themselves or like 1 year later I find out that they're pretty fucked via word of mouth (without me bringing it up, mind you!) That probably just says something about the type of people I hang around.

I've been in this situation in the past. Is specially difficult for me since I always liked having the philosophy to not hold any grudge against people that treated me badly in the past. But in reality is much more difficult then that. It's so sad that nowadays you can't really give people a chance because they will always take it for granted and do the same thing over and over until you just stop caring altogether. Part of me really wish I could reconcile with some of the people that did me wrong. Because I have seen some good in them from time to time, but reality is so much more complicated than the ideals I have in my mind. There's always going to be that certain suspicion from one of the sides. along with other problems.

[QUOTE=ROFLBURGER;52115694]I have these thought sessions where I think back to all the people who've recently wronged me and decide whether or not if they're wrong or not.[/QUOTE] I do this too, but randomly. I always think back on somebody who really wronged me, and I justify it. Like being bullied in School, I'll have thoughts like, '' if I just made more effort to fit in, it wouldn't have happened." or, "maybe if I just wasn't awkward socially. It's my fault and I earned the treatment.'' I've always been a bit of a hippy, just nice to people, because I feel like that's how people should treat each other, but my ex best friend told me after he betrayed me, that he felt ''you've always tried too hard to be normal''. It was the first time anyone had ever told me something hurtful like that, but somehow it got to me so bad. After the betrayal, I've found I rarely talk, and I'm so scared of people. I'm so scared people are trying to find a way to hurt me. There was a woman in Walmart yesterday who was searching for Westchester sauce, and I knew exactly where it was, two isles over. But I chose not to tell her because I was scared, so I just pushed my cart on by. When I returned Home, I felt really ashamed. The old me would have told her where it was because I know how frustrating it is when you can't find shit in Walmart.

"Tried too hard to be normal" sounds like another way of saying " You didn't meet up to my standards" Forget about what that chump said. He was never really your friend if he said something like that to to you. Being "normal" is completely subjective from one person to another and you have no obligation to suck it up to he's idea of "normal".

Is there a word for extremely low moods all of a sudden, like as low as you can feel, for a week straight. That's what I've been feelin recently.

[QUOTE=mchapra;52116073]Is there a word for extremely low moods all of a sudden, like as low as you can feel, for a week straight. That's what I've been feelin recently.[/QUOTE] I felt like that when i came off all 3 of my meds. it hurt bad. i decicded to try seroquel again i think the reason i felt bad was because stopping the other meds cold turkey

Has anyone had any experience so with "Arizaprazloe", one of the side effects is it makes you sleepy but I've not been sleeping till 4am in the morning and when I finally go to sleep when I wake up I have a really bad headache, is this just a bug that I got around the same time or is it something any of you have had, should I go back to the doctors?

Was doing my psychology homework and I came across an example of "thought stopping" [QUOTE]"Because Sierra tends to frequently think about herself as a "failure," she has decided to try a technique that she read about in her psychology textbook, which involves wearing a rubber band around her wrist and popping herself every time she starts thinking negatively about herself.[/QUOTE] I wonder if this actually works :thinking:

[QUOTE=kijji;52117799]Was doing my psychology homework and I came across an example of "thought stopping" I wonder if this actually works :thinking:[/QUOTE] Easiest way to get a bunch of bruises everywhere.

Yeah, I think I may need help. I've developed an issue with essentially throwing up when I get too anxious. It's really getting in the way of my life, it's not so nice almost being forced out of work after finding yourself kneeling over a fucking toilet emptying your stomach because you're sad. Can't eat much at all. I'm gonna try smoking weed, I've had a couple people tell me that it will help keep my appetite up and keep me from throwing it back up, and luckily I have somebody to help me with that. While I wouldn't normally turn to this, because while I don't judge people for it I have never considered it my thing, I'm fucking desperate. I'm hoping this will work, I'm running out of ideas. Anybody else have this issue?

[QUOTE=gustavholst;52117896]Yeah, I think I may need help. I've developed an issue with essentially throwing up when I get too anxious. It's really getting in the way of my life, it's not so nice almost being forced out of work after finding yourself kneeling over a fucking toilet emptying your stomach because you're sad. Can't eat much at all. I'm gonna try smoking weed, I've had a couple people tell me that it will help keep my appetite up and keep me from throwing it back up, and luckily I have somebody to help me with that. While I wouldn't normally turn to this, because while I don't judge people for it I have never considered it my thing, I'm fucking desperate. I'm hoping this will work, I'm running out of ideas. Anybody else have this issue?[/QUOTE] from my experience smoking weed while anxious always made it worse. I don't really like smoking weed becaus it's always made me very paranoid. Not all the time but a lot it depends on where I am and whats going on. If you think it will help go for it

[QUOTE=gustavholst;52117896]Yeah, I think I may need help. I've developed an issue with essentially throwing up when I get too anxious. It's really getting in the way of my life, it's not so nice almost being forced out of work after finding yourself kneeling over a fucking toilet emptying your stomach because you're sad. Can't eat much at all. I'm gonna try smoking weed, I've had a couple people tell me that it will help keep my appetite up and keep me from throwing it back up, and luckily I have somebody to help me with that. While I wouldn't normally turn to this, because while I don't judge people for it I have never considered it my thing, I'm fucking desperate. I'm hoping this will work, I'm running out of ideas. Anybody else have this issue?[/QUOTE] Are you in a position to talk to your doctor and ask if medical marijuana would be good for you? I really don't mean to shit on recreational drug users but you really need to be careful on what advice they give since like all medicine, marijuana affects people in different ways.

I wish I wasn't such a fucking loser. Failed 4 semesters of college so I decided to basically drop out, but I didn't tell my parents because I don't want them to know how much of a failure I am, so for the past year I've just been lying and acting like I still go to college. And now they want to do some tax return on it or something so unless it takes into account the classes I did beforehand, they'll find out, ill be disowned, and kicked out of the house with nothing but the clothes on my back, so it'll be literally curtains for me, no coming back from that when you're as useless as I am. But I guess i'll find out in a week or so if im dead or not. Nothing I can really do about it, only told a few friends since I don't want to worry them much, and if it does happen I'll just disappear anyways.

[QUOTE=ROFLBURGER;52118750]Are you in a position to talk to your doctor and ask if medical marijuana would be good for you? I really don't mean to shit on recreational drug users but you really need to be careful on what advice they give since like all medicine, marijuana affects people in different ways.[/QUOTE] None existent in my state outside of severe cases essentially. I've smoked sparingly before and it's been a moderately positive experience. I'm mostly just looking for relief here. It's everyday at this point, and if it's not throwing up it's dry heaving and if it's not dry heaving it's bad nausae. I can't take it anymore.