Depression, anxiety, suicidalism and similar disorders, issues and troubles V5 - General

As someone who deals with anxiety on a daily basis honestly the best thing I found for treating it was forcing myself out there. I used to have horrible anxiety with near daily panic attacks. I always dreaded going out to the point of trying to avoid it as much as humanly possible . It was only after I stopped running from my problems did things get better .Using drugs as coping mechanism only leads to more problems and worsening of symptoms . I know this from experience as many of health problems were just worsened by trying to cover them up. Drugs are best used as reward for accomplishing something. Honestly things do get better if you work at it. Life often is full of pitfalls theirs often more bad than good but going 3 steps forward and falling back 2 steps is still progress .I have a long way still to go still but as long as I see a little progess I know I can achieve happiness

[QUOTE=TrannyAlert;52332182]It sounds like you've just come into this thread and started giving shit advice out. This is a thread to help people not push them down. Just because you get wasted/smoke weed to help yourself doesn't mean everyone else needs to. A major way to help your Anxiety is to be forced into situation where you have to adapt, sitting in a factory all day will help you be more comfortable but you're still living a life of solitude, happy in your little bubble[/QUOTE] Why are you lying? Quote me saying I get wasted. Your answer is to force somebody with traumatic anxiety into a fast-paced situation? You don't have a clue, Tranny. I mean get real. anxiety isn't nearly as cut and dry as you think it is.

Just got a leave of absence from work for a week or two. Didn't get all the way through my assessment yesterday and came into work a nervous wreck. I tried to get back to it too soon after finally seeking help. The therapist said it's looking like major depression that's been around for +10 years, and she's amazed I've fought it by myself this long.

[QUOTE=Suff;52332735]Why are you lying? Quote me saying I get wasted. Your answer is to force somebody with traumatic anxiety into a fast-paced situation? You don't have a clue, Tranny. I mean get real. anxiety isn't nearly as cut and dry as you think it is.[/QUOTE] (Replying to someone saying their anxiety has gone) [QUOTE=Suff;52325044]It'll return. it always does...[/QUOTE] [QUOTE=Suff;52297679]I'm telling you, the world can be so hard. I used to be just like you, in the rat race, all stressed out. Women, jobs and bills. I just gave up. changing your life is hard. drinking is easy. facing your problems sober is not the way[/QUOTE] [QUOTE=Suff;52329298] vidya, smoking a bowl, and having a beer are some things that seem to make life easier.[/QUOTE] Yeah man you're really posting meaningful and helpful posts here. We can gladly listen and if you want, give our opinion on whatever issue there is but don't come in here and spout this crap to other people, it doesn't help at all. And no one is forcing anyone, if someone has a job in a restaurant or gets one, let them handle the situation, telling them to basically quit is not helping.

Advising people to drink or "give up" is not comparable to advising someone to use techniques to adapt and find methods that work to control or live with their anxiety. One is detrimental, the other is realistic. I know I'll be living with my anxiety forever and other people know that too,but that doesn't mean everyone has incurable mental illness. There are plenty of people who find avenues to get better and conquer their illness and for others, they benefit more from techniques to continue functioning despite their illness. Advising a lack of sobriety is irresponsible at best and dangerous at worst. I wouldn't propose any sort of advice that considers alcohol or drugs outside of medicine prescribed by a professional to be adequate advice for this thread.

[QUOTE=TrannyAlert;52333071](Replying to someone saying their anxiety has gone) Yeah man you're really posting meaningful and helpful posts here. We can gladly listen and if you want, give our opinion on whatever issue there is but don't come in here and spout this crap to other people, it doesn't help at all. And no one is forcing anyone, if someone has a job in a restaurant or gets one, let them handle the situation, telling them to basically quit is not helping.[/QUOTE] I'm sorry, but I've never told anyone to quit or what to do. I've never advocated alcoholism or drugs. I'll just leave, I don't want to argue. I never meant anything I said maliciously, sorry if it was intepreted that way

If any of you guys feel low, useless, meaningless, stupid, guilty, and all that, just know that you won't go lower than me. Sometimes no matter what you do you're still the worst thing that's ever happened to the world.

I feel stupid and meaningless because I've only ever really cared about two goals my entire life, neither is particularly difficult, and yet I've consistently failed at both.

[QUOTE=GoldAssassin;52333799]If any of you guys feel low, useless, meaningless, stupid, guilty, and all that, just know that you won't go lower than me. Sometimes no matter what you do you're still the worst thing that's ever happened to the world.[/QUOTE] Come on, learn the strength of your own words. Unless you've committed mass genocide I think you're fine. Don't be so hard on yourself.

Waiting to hear back from roman117. Hes been gone for a couple of days now so I'm assuming he got admitted. Hopefully he gets the help he needs - from his parents and from the system.

Lately I've been having a lot of anxiety about being discluded from stuff, so I think that's why I've been checking my group chats and talking to friends a lot more often, even if I'm forcing it. It makes me feel like I'm broken, like I just can't deal with the fact that others seem to be having more fun than me.

I tried to force myself out there and take on a job I thought would be hard, it was too hard for me. I am ashamed of that. I kept trying but I honestly couldn't do it I only lasted a week. Honestly it truly hasn't gotten better, I keep telling myself it will but I always dissapoint myself so I don't know what to do. I can't afford to drink smoke, and I can't rely on binge-eating food or playing video games because all of those do not help and make me feel like I am wasting my life/thwarting my fitness progress I've worked so hard for. Running and lifting only helps me so much and the high dies down quickly as of lately. I expect a miracle to happen in my life when those just don't happen. Litterally all I expect to achieve in life is getting a decent car, a job I can handle that doesn't drive me absolutely insane, and maybe someday a place of my own. That's not much to ask for in life. I'm 19 and I don't have that. I don't even have a fucking family that can properly accept me. [editline]10th June 2017[/editline] I could die and not achieve my goals and my abuser would somehow find out and laugh.

I can't take it anymore. I just want to lay down in traffic. I want this hell to end. I'm such worthless garbage. Everyone hates me. I can't do anything right. I'm utterly useless. I'm too broken to work. Please make it stop. Why am I alive? Why do I exist? Help. I don't know anymore. Why does people think I'm smart? Are they trying to make me feel better? I'm just dumb as bricks. I wish I got more than disagrees, it just makes me feel I'm dumb.

When I was a baby I almost died due to bad ear infections, if it wasn't for modern medicine I would have. A lot of the time I wish I did die at least then I wouldn't have to deal with this existence

Bleh, I don't know why people think I'm smart. I'm clearly too dumb to do a simple job.

I had about 4 or 5 nightmares last night. I kept waking up, falling back asleep, and having different variations of kind of the same thing. Finally got up about an hour ago and it took everything I had to get myself up and in the shower. I really wish I didn't have to wait for my next session with the therapist... I want this gone already.

I broke down after sitting in bed all day shaking and crying and messaged my abusive ex friend on the one app she hasnt blocked me on... I told her how badly she messed me up and how it's awful and I demanded an explanation as to why. I don't want her in my life, I don't want to be her friend, all I want is a reason why she abused me because I think that will help me understand. all she said was: "I do not want to respond to this but I will say this: I don't want to be friends with you again, but I also don't want you to be miserable. There are no hard feelings towards you. <3" Then I said "But why did you abuse me? Why did you do it? What sick twisted thing is so wrong with you that you had to do that to me? I have night terrors and my life is absolute hell. It'd be just as bad with you in my life too. Can I at least get a reason why?" (then I said things about how her little minion friend attacked me and said her beating was justified and how that was messed up) She said: "Well you're wrong about a lot of that but I don't feel like arguing." I just kept saying "WHY DID YOU DO THIS TO ME? THAT'S INHUMAN." She said "Good talk." and blocked me. I am feeling very violent towards her and her boyfriend and I want her to die. I want to kill myself.

just got kicked out from home (this has never happened before) within 4 days of returning to my hometown from university got some support from a few relatives but my whole brain is confused and on fire and holy fuck ow OW OW

Here's something interesting I can share: In high school I had extremely intense social anxiety to the point where I had developed clinical depression from essentially having no friends. I would go to school, come home and do homework, play starcraft 2 and then try to go to bed. I had never gotten any sleep because I was always so anxious for the next day and the future, so I never really truly fell asleep. I was soooo desperate for a girlfriend. It was like this all of high school. Fast forward to my senior year homecoming. The guy that I played sc2 with and I decided to say fuck it and just go to homecoming single. At homecoming, this girl who had just been dumped by her boyfriend comes up to me to dance (apparently she had a thing for me). Every ounce of my body was saying "NO DO NOT GET INVOLVED WITH THAT" but I accepted the dance anyway because I was so desperate. For some context, this girl might be one of the most melodramatic people I have ever met. She is the type of person who only has any self worth if they are in a relationship. We ended up making out. YikESSSS. It was my first kiss ever and it felt HORRIBLE. This turned into an almost 2 year long relationship (I ended it the day before our 2 year anniversary), and I can confidently say there was never a day in the relationship where I did not want out. It was the most emotionally abusive relationship I have ever been in. During the relationship I can honestly say it was the only time in my life where I could have said I hated my life. Fast forward to the break up. By the time I had ended it with her my social anxiety was COMPLETELY washed away. From of that horrible relationship, somehow, I ended up not caring what people thought of me anymore and I have dated many more girls since then. I am really not sure why my social anxiety was destroyed because of that relationship, but it did.

My mother got a call today, after my dad was sent to hospital on friday again. They informed her that my dad has died today, after they put him in an artificial coma on friday. Ever since my dad had his first stroke I knew this day would come, but not that it came so soon. He would've turned 60 next month. But on the other hand I'm kinda happy that he finally found his rest, I wouldn't want him to live in pain just so we could've kept him alive a bit longer. And that was his wish too. However I'm kinda puzzled about my feelings, back a few months ago when he first got diagnozed with the pulmonary fibrosis I was feeling pretty down, propably because I saw my dad struggling even with easy things, like going to the toilet. Right now I feel mostly nothing, I guess that will take a few days or until his funeral.

I've been having a tough time with my anxiety lately, very much out of nowhere. Although logically I can understand why it might be caused, but I'm sick of purging and crying day in and day out. It's hard to talk about it with other people too, nobody really wants to talk about it. And while I really don't want to be alone sometimes I feel embarrassed to basically ask to have somebody babysit me. I miss my friends, despite it being summer they're all scattered and hard to see.

Getting increasingly worried that I'm gonna have to go a year or more without health insurance. I can't afford it while I'm going to school because I can't find a job that will 1) offer benefits OR pay enough that I can afford health insurance from the marketplace 2) work with my school schedule that requires studio time outside of class I'm so close to graduating but it's still aways off. I won't be done until May 2018 and that's a long time to go without health insurance since I'm losing it in August. Idk what to do honestly. I'm constantly applying to jobs and I've only received one call back that I'm pretty sure is a scam after doing some research on it. No one else has gotten back to me. I'm pretty scared. Because I have chronic bronchitis that requires doctor visits pretty frequently. And idk what I'll do if I get sick again. Living here sucks tbh.

[QUOTE=Pascall;52350773]Idk what to do honestly. I'm constantly applying to jobs and I've only received one call back that I'm pretty sure is a scam after doing some research on it. No one else has gotten back to me.[/QUOTE] Have you considered medicaid? In states that expanded medicaid you can qualify as a single individual if you earn less then $16,000 a year. From my understanding each state has a different limit but it doesn't hurt to check.

[QUOTE=darksoul69;52350998]Have you considered medicaid? In states that expanded medicaid you can qualify as a single individual if you earn less then $16,000 a year. From my understanding each state has a different limit but it doesn't hurt to check.[/QUOTE] I did check on that and it said I probably don't qualify. I'm not sure what qualifiers they use for it but my only FOR SURE income at the moment is a $250 stipend I get from a local church I help out at, so I put my income in at $3000 for the year. The marketplace basically told me to go fuck myself and pay full price lol. But I can check it out again. I'm not sure how medicaid works. [editline]12th June 2017[/editline] Yeah, apparently in Texas, if you don't have a dependent of some sort or you're not disabled, you're fucked: [quote]In order to qualify for this benefit program, you must be a resident of the state of Texas, a U.S. national, citizen, permanent resident, or legal alien, in need of health care/insurance assistance, whose financial situation would be characterized as low income or very low income. [B]You must also be either pregnant, a parent or relative caretaker of a dependent child(ren) under age 19, blind, have a disability or a family member in your household with a disability, or be 65 years of age or older.[/B][/quote]

You could try and claim chronic bronchitis and depression or whatever as a disability. I think it just needs to be documented. It's a long shot but it's better then not having insurance.

The only problem with that is that then I have an income ceiling that'll penalize me if I make more than a certain amount in income. That and the process for disability takes months or years so it'd be a while before it would even pay off.

Considered a GoFundMe?

I utilized a GoFundMe to get me a new car after my last one got destroyed in a hail storm so I'd feel bad about doing it again. :( I'm taking art commissions, working a small part time job, and doing a gig on Fiverr right now while also doing Amazon's Mturk on the side. Nowhere near enough income to do much but it gives me extra pocket money at the very least.

Anyone here practice mindfulness?

I used the Headspace app for the full 10 days and I felt loads better, meditation and mindfulness go hand in hand. Eventually I stopped though and now I don't feel as well. It is certainly a helpful tool if you can keep it up.