My old IT teacher. He's welsh.
Married to Portugese Chemistry teacher who also teaches me AND he might be the most interesting person in my school.
Here's a list of his achievements:
Master's degree in Biochemistry,
Special forces in the army.
(believe it or not) Manager at Sainsbury's
Now IT teacher.
Snarky as hell.
Has the musical preferences of a metalhead in the 80's.
He randomly pops into his wife's Chemistry class (which I am in) to talk about cancer, death and danger in general.
Welsh teacher:"You want to know how to kill everyone in the whole school? You don't need anything fancy like explosives or poison. Just go to the air conditioning room and put a big beaker of sulphuric acid and table salt in one of the vents. Now everyone dies."
Wife :"Shh shh shh, You don't to say these kind of things to these guys"
Welsh teach:"Who says [I]they're[/I] gonna do it"
[editline]27th December 2010[/editline]
[QUOTE=Louis;26999271]lol ur so cool and mature[/QUOTE]
And so are you apparently.
He was making a suggestion as to where that poster actually belonged.
On second thought you should go there too.
I had some cool old teacher, dead now or something. Let me and my friend get away with ANYTHING.
Like, we were having a maths test and he just came over, told me and my friend to step outside and gave us his briefcase full of playing cards and other random shit a teacher shouldn't have, whole class was doing a test and we were playing cards. Too bad he's dead.
I remember one time in class a native american kid named Bruce walked up to my teacher's desk, and jokingly took a pencil off his desk and said "Took your pencil, ha-ha." My teacher then looked up at Bruce, and said "Well that's alright. Took your land, ha-ha."
[QUOTE=Snapzies;26999353]I remember one time in class a native american kid named Bruce walked up to my teacher's desk, and jokingly took a pencil off his desk and said "Took your pencil, ha-ha." My teacher then looked up at Bruce, and said "Well that's alright. Took your land, ha-ha."[/QUOTE]
haha oh wow.
[QUOTE=PunchedInFac;26999291]My old IT teacher. He's welsh.
Married to Portugese Chemistry teacher who also teaches me AND he might be the most interesting person in my school.
Here's a list of his achievements:
Master's degree in Biochemistry,
Special forces in the army.
(believe it or not) Manager at Sainsbury's
Now IT teacher.
Snarky as hell.
Has the musical preferences of a metalhead in the 80's.
He randomly pops into his wife's Chemistry class (which I am in) to talk about cancer, death and danger in general.
Welsh teacher:"You want to know how to kill everyone in the whole school? You don't need anything fancy like explosives or poison. Just go to the air conditioning room and put a big beaker of sulphuric acid and table salt in one of the vents. Now everyone dies."
Wife :"Shh shh shh, You don't to say these kind of things to these guys"
Welsh teach:"Who says [I]they're[/I] gonna do it"
[editline]27th December 2010[/editline]
And so are you apparently.
He was making a suggestion as to where that poster actually belonged.
On second thought you should go there too.[/QUOTE]
He told that to a class of sane people.
Now you just told people on facepunch, think about how many of them have problems in the head.
My 6th grade maths teacher was a pedophile.
He was charged for raping an underage female and is now in jail for 26years.
My Year 1-3 PE (Physical Education) teacher was a pedophile. Haueh
[url]http://www.chicagobreakingnews.com/2009/04/lifeguard-gets-120-days-for-abusing-girl-in-96.html[/url]
It's a shame that he only got 120 DAYS in jail considering he did this such a long time ago.
But in reality, my Biology teacher is pretty cool. He drives back a time zone everyday to work, taking him, in reality, an hour and a half. But really, it only shows up as half an hour. He also uses dropbox for every school file he needs and refuses to use the school system's drives.
My current form tutor is this bloke called Mr Patterson. He was born in Alabama, lived in Texas and moved to London a couple of decades ago with his wife. He is fat and black, and one of the funniest guys I have ever known.
During our school pantomime he ran on the stage (he wasn't part of the panto) and started playing some generic rap through the speakers. He took his shirt off and jiggled around the place.
I was talking to him in registration a while back and he had recently got his hair cut really short, like less than a centimeter. Anyway I was asking him a physics question and he randomly pulled out a comb and started combing his 5 millimeter hair back. It doesn't sound that funny but it was hilarious.
My maths teacher does backflips for no reason. He could be teaching, and all of a sudden he would backflip.
Science teachers. Period.
[QUOTE=chaz13;26998441]My year 1 teacher was a paedophile :keke:[/QUOTE]
My math teacher too :3
[QUOTE=Persious;26999762]My math teacher too :3[/QUOTE]
Why are you acting like it's a good thing :ohdear:
Same physics teacher has a noose hanging from the ceiling, and obviously we ask "what's that?" He replied that it was a noose.
Obviously we ask what it's for.
"Actually, it's really cool, but I can only show you once."
[QUOTE='[GM] Gaw;26999814']Why are you acting like it's a good thing :ohdear:[/QUOTE]
Just shows we were sexy kids!
I don't have any individual stories, but my art teacher is the best teacher ever, he doesn't care if we're late (well he does care, he just doesn't punish us) he jokes around, steals school supplies, doesn't care if people swear, swears a lot himself, he plays loads of instruments and we usually jam at lunchtimes. Basically he treats us as people and friends, not just students.
To explain the history of Rome my history teacher engaged another in a sword fight... One went to hospital
My History teacher Mr. Lee on the end of the cold war: "....and the Berlin wall is demolished and YEAH LITHUANIA IS INDEPENDENT!!! and Yeltsin is elected Russian President! and..and...and then GE$RMANY REUNITES!!!!!!! and then...." *Walks to back of class room, sits at his desk for the last 7 minutes of class.
Class:......Mr. Lee?
*Mr. Lee signals the class to wait*
*Bell rings*
*see how awkward that was? Thats how the Cold War ended!
Random Quotes from him:
"IM ON THE FUCKDAMNED MOON!"
"Marx With a twist of Lenin!" :rimshot:
"Adolf Hitler, WhatA fucking asshole"
"Stalin was an asshole too, But he was OUR asshole, so it was OK!"
"Now, to give you an Idea if what the aztecs were feeling when the spanish were attacking, Picture this: You're out in the hallway, hanging out with you friends, And an alien, Like
E.T. but even more hideous, Comes storming down the halls riding a T-Rex. This alien has a lightsaber and is just lobbing off heads left and right. Oh, And BTW, you haven't seen Star Wars"
Student: But I have seen St-
"SHUT THE FUCK UP THIS IS MY EXAMPLE AND IN IT YOU"VE NEVER SEEN STAR WARS!"
"Oh yeah, AIDS! I wanna know what thats like, Let me try THAT!"
"I was calling the guy "Berry" how embarrassing is THAT?!?!"
"Would you like to buy a cupcake for the Union of Death....No?..Didn't think so."
"So Germany builds up their navy, and then England builds up their navy, and then Germany builds up their navy, and England builds up their navy, and France builds up their army, and Germany builds up their army, and Germany builds up their navy, and England builds up their navy, and Germany builds up their army, and France builds up their army, and France builds up their army, and Germany builds up their army [insert a quick desperate breath here... now lets continue], and England builds up their navy, and Germany builds up their navy, and France builds up their army, and Germany builds up their army, and...." etc, etc, etc.
"So basically the people that join the Black Hand are guys that are losers, have no girlfriends, have no job, and most have some disease like tuberculosis"
"Walking around with a swastika on is a socially retarded move"
"so when i was in college i didnt know what year the magna carta was signed. my teacher called me an idiot and the girl next to me laughed at me. i ended up marrying her. WHO WON NOW!?!?!"
"So America found out that the Soviets were giving nuclear weapons to the Cubans, so america was all like "DONT DO THAT! THEY'RE LIKE 90 MILES FROM US THEY COULD KILL US!! GET THOSE NUKES OUT OF THERE!" And the Soviets said....'Nope."
[Editline]Edited:[/editline]
[QUOTE=Lemmiwinks!;26998735][url]http://www.thisisgloucestershire.co.uk/news/Paedophile-teacher-Cheltenham-jailed/article-2159678-detail/article.html[/url]
I'm not joking. It says in the article he had almost [b]190,000[/b] CP images.[/QUOTE]
That is alot. I wonder how many of them He has never even seen?
My former teacher was this guy:
[url]http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/worldnews/article-1242884/School-teacher-arrested-killing-neighbours-confesses-serial-killer-committed-11-murders.html[/url]
[QUOTE=cdrw5;27000234]My former teacher was this guy:
[url]http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/worldnews/article-1242884/School-teacher-arrested-killing-neighbours-confesses-serial-killer-committed-11-murders.html[/url][/QUOTE]
That's brutal
One of my old teachers in around second grade was a crossdresser, homosexual and got in jail a while ago.
My grade 6 teacher kept two bricks in his desk, one real and the other foam. If someone ever really annoyed him, he would show them the real brick, put it away and then chuck the foam brick at them.
Too bad he retired in the middle of the year. His replacement was some 6'6 bug-eyed guy.
these two chicks were having a fight in the lunch room when one of the girls decided to walk away from the fight the other girl tried to go for a hit and was sprinting towards her when my world history teacher came in and clothes lined her then brought her to the principal's office.
I had a history teacher who listened to doom metal during class and a shop teacher who was the most sarcastic bastard alive. He once confiscated a guy's phone because he was using it during class and started replying to his texts and making fun of his spelling.
We had a science teacher who just wanted to blow shit up whenever we went to class.
Student: "This class is too hard derp derp herp"
Teacher: "Life's a bitch, and then there's AP Chemistry"
My teacher was this one beard-y motherfucker in his 60's as our history teacher, and claims he's a decentand of Russian Tsar. And he liked to say that if you don't do your homework, then you will be brought to the forest behind the school and shot at the dawn.
Anyway, one bothersome studen in our class wasn't doing anything and just chatted with others. The teacher told him to stop talking and focus on doing work, in which the student replied "this is fucking worthless, its no sense doing this and we arent' going to need this information anyway". In which, greatest fucking "Zing" moment in our school's history happened:
"Is that so? Let me teach you something, take your right hand, lift it up, and open the palm.
*Student does as told so*
"Now, take your [I]left[/I] hand and do the same
*Student Does so*
"Now, do you have anything in your hands?"
"No"
"Good, because that's the equal amount of how much I give a flying fuck about what you think about this lesson, now do your work or get the fuck out of my class"
And the guy went totally red and started working
If there was a teacher we totally respected and never dared to go against, it was him.
In year 10 my math teacher took half a class to talk about the BP oil spill, and then then next half to talk about how once when he was turning in a two lane turnway, he almost got hit by a lady who was texting while driving, which would have forced him to hit a biker who wasn't wearing a helmet. It was awesome because he had ADD so he drew diagrams of everything he ever talked about. And he was hilarious, one of my favorite teachers.
[QUOTE=Trumple;26999649]My maths teacher does backflips for no reason. He could be teaching, and all of a sudden he would backflip.[/QUOTE]
It was probably to get your attention and then to maintain it because you'd be looking for the next one.
Is it just me or do all Maths teachers never admit when they're wrong?
A teacher of ours (never had her) used to take boys out of her lesson and fuck them, I'm serious - she did it with some other people; thing was - she was married and the people were underaged so she got 13 months, the boy got expelled and she probably got a divorce.
Yeah.
I forgot to mention the school was an all boys school.
Proof (The Sun, sorry about that :v:): [url]http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/2455617/Miss-arrested-for-school-romps.html[/url]
Sorry, you need to Log In to post a reply to this thread.