• Stories of badass teachers
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Our old history teacher was constantly drunk and reading porn magazines in his office. One time he came in, started talking, then when someone else gave a wrong answer he threw a board rubber and hit them square in the head. Then he sent them out for saying "ow" and disrupting the class. He was awesome, brought in a medieval condom one time and asked if anyone wanted to use it.
My religious education teacher met God when he was 17. Or so he says..
I used to play against my 5th grade teacher in Star Wars Battlefront. It got very competitive.
Badass teachers are like always Science Teachers (or some kind of science such as Chemistry, Biology, etc.) and my Science Teacher blew up the ceiling of the room, LOL, started a fire and the fire alarm went off. That was hilarious
At my school history teachers are the awesome ones They're usually smart, clever and they're great at keeping your attention Also, our human geo teacher is a fucking beast. He runs 5 miles every day at the break of dawn (yes that includes school days) then after that he comes to school and swims a couple laps in the pool. He has gone through I think 5 100 mile marathons. Oh yea, he's like 6' 6" and fucking break dances. I swear to God he's gonna live until he's 110
[QUOTE=larrylumpy;27007574]At my school history teachers are the awesome ones They're usually smart, clever and they're great at keeping your attention Also, our human geo teacher is a fucking beast. He runs 5 miles every day at the break of dawn (yes that includes school days) then after that he comes to school and swims a couple laps in the pool. He has gone through I think 5 100 mile marathons. Oh yea, he's like 6' 6" and fucking break dances. I swear to God he's gonna live until he's 110[/QUOTE] My history teacher is like. "blah blah blah-, STOP DOING THAT" And then she screams at other people for the rest of the lesson. But in high school I had a math teacher who was pretty nerdy, all we did was playing chess with him and solving rubik cubes. :v:
My history teacher (an ex movie producer) was always full of awesome stories. One time he almost got killed at a park when someone pointed a gun at him but then realized he was looking for someone else. Or at a party he smashed a fake glass onhis ex girlfriends head. I miss elementary.
My English/Film studies teacher was the best. He had a life size cardboard cuttout of Xena and refered to her as "My Goddess." Nobody knows how many times he has been married, but we know its over 3. He has loads of crazy stories, mainly about stuff he did in the 70s. In one, he woke up on the roof of a guys house after a party, and since he had no way down, he kicked in a skylight and jumped through it, landing in the guys bedroom. The guy woke up and asked it what the hell he was doing, and Mr Evans told him to "Mind his own damn business" and walked out. Some choice quotes: ‎"I became a teacher for the sex and the money, but I was misinformed." "In the Middle Ages, castles had narrow stairways so that invaders could only come in one by one. Then they'd get shot. I wish I had one of those for when the Mormons and Jehovah's Witness come to my door *imitated gunshot noises*." Announements: Only seniors with senior passes should be in the halls. I repeat, if there are any juniors in the halls- Mr. Evans- Oh just shoot them! "Do you hear the underlying theme? It changes a little, but its always there... like the shark in Jaws... lurking just beneath." Makes hand motions and imitates Jaws music. "Shady crowd, dope dealers. I knew one dealer who ran a house-painting service by day, using his hippie clients as painters, and dealt at night. I lent that guy $20 and a pair of bluejeans, and I never saw him alive again." Student: "Is it okay to use SparkNotes?" Mr. Evans: "Reading SparkNotes is like watching porn instead of having sex." Mr Evans on the topic of possessions. -Mr. Evans " I only had one bag.. well technically I had two,because of my girlfriends cat, but anyway these were the good old days when there were only 19 people on the plane, and we were drinking the champagne..." -Student " We don't want to know what you did Mr. Evans!" -Mr. Evans " IT WAS NOT AN ORGY!" And he doesn't remember his trip to Andorra because Absinthe is legal there.
My science teacher is pretty cool, all he does all class period is make dick jokes and pick on the gangster kids. Also if we pass the SOL test he doesn't make us take the final which is fucking awesome. The science teacher last year was cool too, we got to fuck around with acid and we blew up hydrogen balloons. And then back when I went to this Christian private school run by a mother and daughter out of their house I had a fucking awesome teacher. Well, the school owner's daughter never actually taught me but she had struggled with cancer all her life. As a child she underwent a radical new experimental treatment which out of 100 children only she survived. I guess she figured her time was short so she made it worthwhile. She traveled all around the world, worked as a missionary, did a SHIT LOAD of charity work, went skydiving, all those things most people never live to do.
My History teacher is full of win. At one point our class was acting so stupid he got up on his desk and started to yell, "THAT'S IT! I'm GONNA DO IT!" Unfortunatly he was this big fat guy with a muffin top so of course we started to yell, "JUMP JUMP JUMP!" He started to laugh and got back down and shook his head at all of us saying how messed we were jokingly. He also tricked on of our gullible class mates into thinking Chinese people get their names from dropping chop sticks down a flight of stairs and using the sounds they make for the names. Which was hilarious because she thought it was actually true.
[QUOTE=Konakona940;26997920]Just here looking for any stories that people may have of a quite frankly badass teachers, because we all know at least one teacher that has done something that could class as amazing. Here is mine, [url]http://www.yorkpress.co.uk/news/8758570.York_head_teacher_rescues_man_from_icy_River_Ouse/[/url] Now share any you may have![/QUOTE] Not that badass. Now if he would have [b]pushed[/b] him in the river...
My history teacher from seventh grade was awesome. He was about five feet at most, but buff as hell and one time he stuffed a kid headfirst into a trash can for an entire class period.
Our teacher greets us with brofists :smug: EDIT: Yes he does!
[QUOTE=Foxcow;27006655]I got a red mark from a marker on one of my papers once in Science. I walked up to the teacher and said "What do I do about this? It looks like blood." The Teacher then opens her desk, pulls out a tampon and says "I have a tampon."[/QUOTE] I remember that thread! [url]http://www.facepunch.com/threads/1032802-My-teacher-is...-a-bit-strange[/url]
Our school's band director went to jail for sexually abusing a student.
My english teacher is a Beat generation inspired ex journalist slash pothead and left wing radical slash guitarist and performance poet. He basically taught me everything I know about literature and poetry. In one of the schools poetry jams (that's right muffucka) he did a piece on his life and he openly said the line "That I could succeed where others have failed/ That unlike Clinton, I inhaled" and made a hand gesture of drawing on a blunt, despite being specifically told by the head of English not to. He refuses to allow anything mediocre or second-best in his class, and encourages us to see any text we read in a myriad of methods. He doesn't have a gimmick, he's not an amateur zeppelin pilot or a motorcross driver, he's simply a great teacher who cares more about his subject and his charges than anyone else. When I've finally left this college, there is an open invite to hit up some chronic with him, and I will very much likely take him up on it. He's kind of like the teacher in Dead poet's society, only a bit more of a badass.
My English teacher through the whole of high school was an incredibly large and round goth. She was pretty into the style, with huge silver rings, always in black, with skull scarves and black lace over black skirts, long velvet skirts, painted-on arched eyebrows. What was most amusing is how, for her size, she'd teeter on the tiniest of pointy stilletto heels, and I'm sure some of the others in my class were sometimes seized with the desire to push her. The whole corner of her room where her desk was was devoted to a display of gig tickets and Tim Burton stuff, and the rest of her displays were devoted to the Year 10 work on gothic horror, and otherwise film posters like Sweeney Todd etc. She very strongly defended her tastes in fashion and didn't like labels: Smartass kid: Miss, are you a goth, 'cause you look like one. Teacher: Tom, are you a pea? I mean, you've got a green blazer there. That makes you a pea. I also had a pretty awesome maths teacher who, instead of actually teaching us anything, told us varied and colourful stories about his younger days and stag nights, one involving a very drunk friend, some coke and a horny midget. Brilliant. And, of course, we had a resident paedophile. This guy left a wife and kids behind to have an affair with a 15 year old: [url]http://www.worcesternews.co.uk/news/local/4790978.Shamed__the_married_teacher__in_love__with_a_pupil/[/url] My media teacher is pretty awesome. Comes out with some pretty weird stuff sometimes. Me: -ranting about my dad getting a terrabyte extension drive and why the hell anyone would need so much space- Deadpan reply: Maybe he has a HUGE stash of porn. Me: Uh... As an example of another teacher who was utterly NOT badass, we always had a wetter-than-normal supply teacher called Ms Bell at highschool, who suffered years of abuse at the hands of us. Another class locked her in a storage cupboard all lesson. We went one better. One French class, we'd all agreed that at a set time, we'd all sit under the tables for a minute, curious to see what she'd do. The answer? She stared, looked around blankly, sort of mumbled a bit, then tried to ignore us. We then sat back in our chairs and went on as if nothing had happened. I heard she left in tears last year. I don't blame her.
Old physics teacher made a pen rocket, the pen got permanently lodged in his classroom ceiling. My school's RE teacher doesn't teach the students about religion, he shows movies, he showed my class Paranormal Activity :v: He also has casual conversations with the students, and last week he glued his shoe sole back on.
In 9th grade, my teachers rapped at school finish day.
[QUOTE=strayebyrd;27009188]My english teacher is a Beat generation inspired ex journalist slash pothead and left wing radical slash guitarist and performance poet. He basically taught me everything I know about literature and poetry. In one of the schools poetry jams (that's right muffucka) he did a piece on his life and he openly said the line "That I could succeed where others have failed/ That unlike Clinton, I inhaled" and made a hand gesture of drawing on a blunt, despite being specifically told by the head of English not to. He refuses to allow anything mediocre or second-best in his class, and encourages us to see any text we read in a myriad of methods. He doesn't have a gimmick, he's not an amateur zeppelin pilot or a motorcross driver, he's simply a great teacher who cares more about his subject and his charges than anyone else. When I've finally left this college, there is an open invite to hit up some chronic with him, and I will very much likely take him up on it. He's kind of like the teacher in Dead poet's society, only a bit more of a badass.[/QUOTE] also I might add that this teacher wrote an 'exciting shit to do before it kills you' article for men's health, and when my friend was trying to defend men's health claiming it wasn't gay, the teacher posted "Well I wrote an article for it, so it is pretty much gay"
My history teacher from a couple of years ago once slapped me in the face with a ping pong paddle while masquerading as an orangutan. No joke. [editline]27 December 2010[/editline] Also one of my primary school teachers was pretty awesome. She just didn't care whether you brought your homework back or not.
In the eighth grade,I had an English (or somewhere around there) teacher who would almost never give out any work. One day, we did nothing but listen to music then he would play some music on his guitar. And he was thinking about starting up a band. And he had donuts FUCKING EVERYWHERE. Best class I ever had. [QUOTE=one free man;26999701]Science teachers. Period.[/QUOTE] You havent met my science teachers. Seventh grade science was boring as hell, we did nothing as she constantly put on Bill Nye the science guy. Great show,horrible teacher. Eighth grade, she constantly told us the wrong answers to questions and bitched when we got it wrong. Like this one time, she told us this extremely diluted acid was poisonous... And she made us watch "The hunt for Red October",and "UP" because she thought it taught "buoyancy". I wtf'd pretty hard.
All of my teachers suck
[QUOTE=revanade;27009486] You havent met my science teachers. Seventh grade science was boring as hell, we did nothing as she constantly put on Bill Nye the science guy. Great show,horrible teacher. Eighth grade, she constantly told us the wrong answers to questions and bitched when we got it wrong. Like this one time, she told us this extremely diluted acid was poisonous... And she made us watch "The hunt for Red October",and "UP" because she thought it taught "buoyancy". I wtf'd pretty hard.[/QUOTE] Just be happy your teacher doesn't call you ''babes''.
My 6th grade teacher cooked pizzas one day with a flamethrower. It was fucking awesome. But then the fire alarms went off.
My physics teacher let me set up a water rocket (Just me and him. Everyone else was doing an exam) outside of the school so I could learn about water pressure. After a bit of messing around, we finally got it to work. A kid upstairs leaned his head out the window and said, "What are you guys doing?", just as the rocket shot up and slammed against the window beside him. (It was only a few feet from hitting him right in the face.) He flipped his shit, slammed the window shut, and then ducked down. My teacher just bursted out laughing and gave me a high five EDIT: He also threw a beaker against his wall trying to show us about centripetal force. It smashed all over the floor in front of his door. Someone said, "Shouldn't you clean that up?". He thought for a second and just said, "Nah", and went back to teaching, like nothing ever happened
If you were sleeping my science teacher would slam a textbook on your desk.
I only had 2 who were pretty cool. One was my Geography Teacher. Pretty much every lesson with him was either play a trivia game, going on to the computers. He also knew of every secret in Doom, and let me play it on his account. The other was my History teacher. Most of the time she was yelling at us and shit, but one day my friend was using his phone in class. Then he asked to go to the toilet. While he was gone, we took his phone, and asked her if we could take a picture of her. So she got in her most sexual pose, which was difficult because she was quite large, and we took photos of her on his phone. When he got back, he had a picture of her as his wallpaper, and instantly started having a cry at everyone.
[QUOTE=Barnhouse;26999846]I don't have any individual stories, but my art teacher is the best teacher ever, he doesn't care if we're late (well he does care, he just doesn't punish us) he jokes around, steals school supplies, doesn't care if people swear, swears a lot himself, he plays loads of instruments and we usually jam at lunchtimes. Basically he treats us as people and friends, not just students.[/QUOTE] Art Teachers are usually cool. My school is very prude about 'reading break' which is a 20 minute reading session. Of Course, a class of Grade 12's finds this pointless so my Art Teacher is like "Let's go to Tim Hortons!" We come back 40 minutes later and then spend the rest of the class drawing. Woohoo. For you non-canadians: Tim Hortons is a Doughnut/Coffee chain that is Canadian-Own/Run. It's very popular here.
oxymoron
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