• Stories of badass teachers
    262 replies, posted
Our 9 grade math teacher used to buy us breakfast on Wednesdays. :3 I've never had a boring teacher really.
My Physics teacher is a mad chap. He used to work with lasers in a university and one day his pet rabbit was shot by a neighbour. Being laser physicists he and his mate then constructed a laser and tried to heat up the window of the guy to make it shatter but instead they ended up making it explode. Another time he and some students accidentally created and consumed a drug and they sat around in a class all afternoon being absolutely fucking stoned out their minds. My History teacher let us arrange the tables in a room and got us loads of paper balls and then we re-enacted World War One. My English teacher once was shocked to find out a student did not know what Romeo and Juliet was so he ran through laughing like a madman, brought back a book and told her about the story in the middle of class. Finally there was my Computing teacher who although loved apple stuff and all was very good with computers and anybody who got a question wrong he yelled his lungs off at them until they got questions right and generally made the class fear him. For the past 20 years nobody in his class has ever failed an exam.
I had a sub who was ex-secret service. He once denied the bush family entrance to the white house before H.W. took office when they came over to play in the volleyball (i think) court.
[media]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gUJYgxXK8i8[/media]
-snip- no smut here.
I had this PE teacher once, he was normal most days but one day: "I'm bored of PE, you guys bored?" Unanimously: "Yeah" "Ok. You! get some padding, You! Grab some meter sticks, and YOU! Grab some helmets" "Today fine gentlemen we will partake in the sport of kings!" "JOUSTING." We sat on each other's shoulders and charged at each other full-speed. A stick or two broke and a pussy-ass student said he got hurt. Teach leaned down next to him and then said: "Pain is weakness leaving the body. Now get up before I set you on horse duty for the rest of the period"
Wasn't really bad-ass, but my year 4 teacher once brought her 9 foot long reticulated python to school. That was so god damn awesome. Oh, and my year 6 teacher let me play on the computer like, all the time, because I always finished long before everyone. Being smart is cool.
My Social Studies teacher Mr. Fiedler was fucking amazing. One time when we were learning about the Revolutionary war, he had a miniature replica of a cannon that could actually fire. He fired it in class, it sounded like a gunshot and was loud as fuck. He also had a a set of American Revolutionary war clothing, he had a replica musket and bayonet to go with it even. He also set up a competition in all the classes where we had to enact all the British owned colonies in America voting to secede from Britain. If ONE state had a majority vote of staying with it, all supporters of secession lost (To replicate how the vote was set up in the actual time it took place) and got a very low grade for that lesson. He also organized several trips around the country to the good students in his class. We got to go to Gettysburg, Philadelphia, Washington D.C.(2 trips, I didn't get to go on the second one). He actually let me borrow $20 off him when I lost my money in Philadelphia. He was really nice about it. [editline]28th December 2010[/editline] Oh, my Enrichment teacher was cool tool, him and my one buddy made a catapult capable of throwing a bowling ball. It broke after the first throw though.
My year 7 teacher used to throw worms at kids who got answers wrong... Even for tests... I remember one kid got all answers on a 100 question test... So when he walked in the next day... A bucket of worms were tipped on his head. [QUOTE=kanishnav;27020096]ceiling farm above him.[/QUOTE] Your school has Ceiling Farms? Cool!
yea this one teacher went crazy and shot up the school pretty badass..
[QUOTE=chewgo;27014955]Our teacher calls herself "Mama" and calls students children.[/QUOTE] It would be nice to not have a pregnant woman hitting on me. I hate hormones.
How many teachers do you know that do this every Christmas?: [media]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5EIDfVwzJT0[/media] This happened back when I was in Year 10, I think, and I don't think any of us had expected the sheer amount of awesome badassery on the part of the teachers when they pulled back the curtains at the end of Christmas assembly and played this thing.
i had this history who if someone was annoying him he would get on his phone and pretend to be talking to the office about said kid. then he would tell the kid that the office wants to see him, so the kid would walk to the office on the other side of the huge school only to find out nobody called him down to the office. some dude cried once :v:
[QUOTE=WeekendWarrior;27009513]Just be happy your teacher doesn't call you ''babes''.[/QUOTE] I know, it's horrifying when an ugly middle aged chemistry teacher calls you babes.
My computer hardware teacher worked alongside stephen hawking a few times, and had a part in the construction of the hadron collider. He says stephen hawing isn't strictly that smart, and that he's met smarter people who get less publicity, and that he only gets the publicity because of his condition. Which is fair enough I suppose.
My modern studies teacher got whisky for Christmas, and asked me "What do you do with an 18 year old?" [sp]You drink it :v:[/sp] He also let me play L4D on the projector on the last day.
I used to have a psychology teacher called Dr Benson, he was the funniest teacher ever. One day we had people doing stuff to raise money for charity and Dr Benson said that he would do a belly dance (he is rather rotund) wearing a funny hat and little skirt. Here's the video: [URL]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pUE2mvD1y3Q[/URL] Here's a screencap: [IMG]http://profile.ak.fbcdn.net/hprofile-ak-snc4/hs446.snc4/50312_185761271101_137_n.jpg[/IMG]
- This substitute teacher, Mr. D-Lucky (I don't know how to spell it, that's how you pronounce it) was subbing for my Algebra class freshman year. He's well-known for being the crazy, funny, easily-irritated, old substitute. Everyone is in the class fucking around, one sophomore kid, Garrett insults the Mr. D-Lucky and Mr. D-Lucky picks up a desk and launches it in his general direction. He's fired now. - My junior year our government teacher took leave to run for mayor in another city so we had a replacement teacher, Mr. Sep-A-Lah (fuck I can't spell teacher's names) turns out instead of doing the generic government regimen we occasinally lookd at some conspiracy theory stuff and even took one or two days to watch youtube films like "The Obama Deception." We also read "Anthem" by Ayn Rand. Pretty cool, man. - I had a substitute for a Drafting class freshman year, forgot his name. We persuaded him into letting us use the hour to make a gigantic airplane made out of tons of construction paper and threw it around the gigantic drafting room for the rest of the hour. - I was at a football game with some friends once and during the game we were about to get into a fight with another group of black kids so my friends and I began to go off of school grounds and were going to wait for the other group. A few of them began to follow but one of them stayed inside the gates and yelled 'FIGHT' trying to get an adult's attention. It worked. There was cops at the game too so we decided fuck that (we were still on school-grounds) and began sprinting. We eventually ended up in the neighborhood that my house is in and we thought we were safe. So we all stopped and began contemplating what to do, I suggested to go my house so we start heading towards there. Out of fucking no where the assistant principal is sprinting in the distance heading for us. He caught up with us and luckily we're good at improvising. One of my friends gasped and said "Oh thank god you're here! Those black kids were trying to fight us so we started running to my friends house." The principal was empathetic with us and walked us back to the game, one of the black kids got in trouble. - My marketing teacher, Ms. Parent let's the entire class use their iPods, cellphones, fucking everything. We're allowed to eat in the class too.
[QUOTE=Jessbinx;27023584]How many teachers do you know that do this every Christmas?: [media]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5EIDfVwzJT0[/media] This happened back when I was in Year 10, I think, and I don't think any of us had expected the sheer amount of awesome badassery on the part of the teachers when they pulled back the curtains at the end of Christmas assembly and played this thing.[/QUOTE] The teachers in my school do something similar for the leavers, last year it was don't stop me now. [editline]28th December 2010[/editline] No 2009 was don't stop me now [media]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PD1I7l-PEvo[/media] 2010 [media]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RJCLQ5nHqQs&feature=fvw[/media]
During physics class we somehow digressed to the topic of food and other things. At one point the conversation got onto the topic of hot sauce and pretzels. Classmate: Hey teach, you like pretzels with hot sauce on them? Teacher: Hot sauce on a pretzel? Never tried it, but it sounds good. Different Classmate: Man! I don't like hotsauce! Teacher: How the hell can you not like hotsauce? You're Black!
Uh... we had a science teacher who once told someone who was talking she'd get a microscope, a scalpel, and cut his dick off. :v:
My AP Government teacher kicks the desks of any student that he sees asleep. Not just kicking the stand, but kicking underneath the desk itself. That and he is also my only teacher that I have ever had in High School that was not afraid to cuss so liberally. Every one else is stuck-up and proper. From tidbits he would ramble into during conversations about politics, he mentioned that he partook in a riot by some Democratic convention. He got shot in the ass with a bean bag gun and had a welt that covered the entire ass cheek.
Last year I had a German teacher that was like 6' 5" or so (he always told us 1.98 metres, in German for obvious reasons), and he wore those small, circular John Lennon spectacle things. Whenever anyone would enter the classroom he'd speak German at them, and if they didn't reply in some language other than English (he also spoke Spanish and Swedish), he would start yelling at them in German and then kick the top of the door frame, which was about 7 feet high. Oh, he also had a back to front comb over and whenever he'd get mad he'd rush across the room and his hair would flap up.
I had a sub who played on steam, and was 6'11. He was a cool guy
My story isn't about a teacher but an assistant principal from my high school. My friends and I determined that he looked like Gordon Freeman(which he does), so nearing the end of the school year, we gave him a printout of the wikipedia page of Gordon Freeman in a frame. A few weeks later, we peered into his office window and it was sitting on top of a bookcase facing his desk. We knew then it was time... The fourth last day of school, I brought a painted crowbar(to look like the one from the HL series) to school, and gave it to him as a parting gift. He laughed and slipped it into one of his belt loops. After that moment, I never actually saw it or him with it again.
My maths teacher is goddamn mental, I mean I'm not even joking, she's fucking looney tunes. One time she's talking to the class and a girl at the front sneezes very daintily, a guy at the back goes "Did Beth just sneeze? [HURR]" Miss turns round to him and says "Of course she sneezed you idiot, what did you think she was doing? Having an orgasm?" [editline]28th December 2010[/editline] Oh yeah, same teacher. She really hates it when people make certain mistakes; this particular one pertaining to fractions. When the person she asked got the numerator and denominator the wrong way round, she flipped a goddamn table over and shouted "NO, YOU FLIP IT OVER!"
[QUOTE=Cruma;27025797]- This substitute teacher, Mr. D-Lucky (I don't know how to spell it, that's how you pronounce it) was subbing for my Algebra class freshman year. He's well-known for being the crazy, funny, easily-irritated, old substitute. Everyone is in the class fucking around, one sophomore kid, Garrett insults the Mr. D-Lucky and Mr. D-Lucky picks up a desk and launches it in his general direction. He's fired now. - My junior year our government teacher took leave to run for mayor in another city so we had a replacement teacher, Mr. Sep-A-Lah (fuck I can't spell teacher's names) turns out instead of doing the generic government regimen we occasinally lookd at some conspiracy theory stuff and even took one or two days to watch youtube films like "The Obama Deception." We also read "Anthem" by Ayn Rand. Pretty cool, man. - I had a substitute for a Drafting class freshman year, forgot his name. We persuaded him into letting us use the hour to make a gigantic airplane made out of tons of construction paper and threw it around the gigantic drafting room for the rest of the hour. - I was at a football game with some friends once and during the game we were about to get into a fight with another group of black kids so my friends and I began to go off of school grounds and were going to wait for the other group. A few of them began to follow but one of them stayed inside the gates and yelled 'FIGHT' trying to get an adult's attention. It worked. There was cops at the game too so we decided fuck that (we were still on school-grounds) and began sprinting. We eventually ended up in the neighborhood that my house is in and we thought we were safe. So we all stopped and began contemplating what to do, I suggested to go my house so we start heading towards there. Out of fucking no where the assistant principal is sprinting in the distance heading for us. He caught up with us and luckily we're good at improvising. One of my friends gasped and said "Oh thank god you're here! Those black kids were trying to fight us so we started running to my friends house." The principal was empathetic with us and walked us back to the game, one of the black kids got in trouble. - My marketing teacher, Ms. Parent let's the entire class use their iPods, cellphones, fucking everything. We're allowed to eat in the class too.[/QUOTE] Uh..My Name is Garrett.. In High school 10th grade, I had a Math Teacher that was in the military most of his life and fired a artillery cannon on a big complex of drug lords and supposebely killed around 150-200 people this is of course including the other artillery gunners. Well One day this guy comes to class on PCP and kept wearing his sunglasses my teacher told him to take it off and he said fuck off and then he grabbed them and put them on the desk this guy just goes right to the desk and punches him, Didn't even phase the teacher haha... Then my teacher put him into a headlock and just smacked his head down on the floor pretty hard.
The guy who teaches computer programming at my school awards chocolate to people who correct his mistakes, and if you fall asleep in his class, he will wake you up with a fire extinguisher. Also, every couple of months the computer department at my school throws LAN parties from 3pm to midnight, including free pizza and soda
My old computer teacher used to host lan parties after school a few times during the year.
My old science teacher would toss sweets are you for getting an answer right. Also he ate fire.
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