Depression, anxiety, suicidalism and similar disorders, issues and troubles V4 - Discussion, help an - General

I'm a minor, there's no closing the loop.

As a minor anything told to his therapist is by law relayed to his parents/guardians. Unfortunately his fear is very real, in order to get more help he has to tell his therapist, but doing so will let his parents know the extent of whats wrong and they're likely not going to take it well or in a way that atomicsans actually wants/needs.

Well that's fucked up :frown:

[QUOTE=AtomicSans;49838579]I'm a minor, there's no closing the loop.[/QUOTE] I wasn't a minor when it happened to me, it was a bad idea keeping it secret as it just made it worse. You could go to a walk-in and tell a doctor you're really depressed and see if they will help you out. Just leave out the parts where they have to tell if you really don't want them to know.

[QUOTE=PredGD;49836616]this feeling of everything being a dream and unreal gets me pretty exhausted from time to time. most of the time I can deal with it, but suddenly it'll completely break me for a few minutes or hours. I really want the feeling to pass, it's surreal to think this'll be the second year I've lived with this feeling and the week prior to this one marked the one year "anniversary" of it becoming as severe as it is right now. I miss feeling present in reality[/QUOTE] I've been making a conscious effort to stop daydreaming and losing touch with reality by investing my thoughts by being in the moment. I had a really bad quirk with daydreaming pretty hard while driving, and I've replaced it with hilarious doses of road rage. It works! I think it isn't too big of a problem to fly your mind like a kite some times, but keeping it reeled in is something you can practice. [editline]29th February 2016[/editline] [QUOTE=GoldAssassin;49837003]I feel so fucked up.. My friend, who is the only reason I keep on living, I haven't heard from her for a while and I have nothing to contact her with. She's having a pretty hard life and she might kill herself any moment, in which if she does, I will too... I'm worried about her... Tomorrow there are some tests, difficult ones.. I haven't had a motivation to study.. fuck, I feel like faking illness and do a follow up a few days later, cause I only studied a little, and not really that much sunk in. I hate being an idiot..[/QUOTE] I made a "promise" to someone, and that always led me down the path of desperation and clinginess that pushed that person farther away. Pardon my bluntness, but you need a better reason to live. Instead of living because you promised, live because you enjoy time with her and others. When you center your life on a dynamic entity like a person, you're setting yourself up for a really big risk that can destroy your life as you seem to have explained. [editline]29th February 2016[/editline] [QUOTE=AtomicSans;49838226]Melatonin actually makes me sleep worse and it gives me awful dreams [editline]29th February 2016[/editline] I'm really boxed in right now, I've been having a lot of really deeply suicidal thoughts and urges and I've been self-harming a lot, but I can't tell my therapist about it because he's legally mandated to tell my parents and I can't have that happen I need meds but guess what I can't fucking get them feels awful having a therapist you can't even tell everything to[/QUOTE] What's wrong with your parents knowing you are suicidal? Don't worry, I understand the stress so you aren't a weirdo of it, but I'm asking you to reason this out.

Well I feel like an idiot I took my adderall last night to help me study and forgot that I had to fill out new hire paperwork for my new job. Long story short I had to do a piss test for this job and it's been a while since I've been to the doctors for a new script but since I take it as needed I only took some that I had left and it's an old prescription and I haven't grabbed a new one since my doctor is no longer at that practice. So I think I just screwd this job opportunity. The test tests for amphetamines which means adderall will most likely show up :( Anyone have any idea of how I can save my new job? If I go and get a new script and a letter from my doctor should I be able to save my self?

What happens if you go to a hospital in the UK and be like 'yo I'm gonna kill myself, admit me.' I need to know for... A friend. [editline]29th February 2016[/editline] [QUOTE=apierce1289;49839689]Well I feel like an idiot I took my adderall last night to help me study and forgot that I had to fill out new hire paperwork for my new job. Long story short I had to do a piss test for this job and it's been a while since I've been to the doctors for a new script but since I take it as needed I only took some that I had left and it's an old prescription and I haven't grabbed a new one since my doctor is no longer at that practice. So I think I just screwd this job opportunity. The test tests for amphetamines which means adderall will most likely show up :( Anyone have any idea of how I can save my new job? If I go and get a new script and a letter from my doctor should I be able to save my self?[/QUOTE] Dude that should be fine, it's not like you took speed or some shit. Get a letter from your doc saying he prescribed it, tell them before hand it's going to show up on the test and they should understand.

[QUOTE=MintyMginty;49839901]What happens if you go to a hospital in the UK and be like 'yo I'm gonna kill myself, admit me.' I need to know for... A friend. [editline]29th February 2016[/editline] Dude that should be fine, it's not like you took speed or some shit. Get a letter from your doc saying he prescribed it, tell them before hand it's going to show up on the test and they should understand.[/QUOTE] Adderall is amphetamine salts. [editline]1st March 2016[/editline] [QUOTE=apierce1289;49839689]Well I feel like an idiot I took my adderall last night to help me study and forgot that I had to fill out new hire paperwork for my new job. Long story short I had to do a piss test for this job and it's been a while since I've been to the doctors for a new script but since I take it as needed I only took some that I had left and it's an old prescription and I haven't grabbed a new one since my doctor is no longer at that practice. So I think I just screwd this job opportunity. The test tests for amphetamines which means adderall will most likely show up :( Anyone have any idea of how I can save my new job? If I go and get a new script and a letter from my doctor should I be able to save my self?[/QUOTE] Seems like it could be possible to still salvage that work application. Or you could ask your doc if you can get a hold of them.

[QUOTE=Sunday_Roast;49840028]Adderall is amphetamine salts. [editline]1st March 2016[/editline] Seems like it could be possible to still salvage that work application. Or you could ask your doc if you can get a hold of them.[/QUOTE] I didn't tell them I take adderall because I was told I wasn't legally required disclose it to anyone (as it relates to HIPAA). And I figured if it shows up then I'll deal with it. Nothing bad can happen to me if they don't believe me right? Aside from not getting the job right?

[QUOTE=apierce1289;49840099]I didn't tell them I take adderall because I was told I wasn't legally required disclose it to anyone (as it relates to HIPAA). And I figured if it shows up then I'll deal with it. Nothing bad can happen to me if they don't believe me right? Aside from not getting the job right?[/QUOTE] You should be in the clear. I skimmed through a few articles to see what constitutes as typical grounds for getting put on job application blacklists and failing the urine tests weren't mentioned in any of those articles. But I don't think that explaining that you used adderall for studying would do any harm. I mean Adderall is getting more common these days. Although I don't know how the job application scene is in the U.S. other than that it seems to be as barren as it is here in Finland :v: That and that the U.S. job application scene has some strange hard-on for urine tests despite it leading to many good job-candidates being dismissed through false-positives.

[QUOTE=DELL;49838841]I wasn't a minor when it happened to me, it was a bad idea keeping it secret as it just made it worse. You could go to a walk-in and tell a doctor you're really depressed and see if they will help you out. Just leave out the parts where they have to tell if you really don't want them to know.[/QUOTE]I don't think I can be prescribed medication without my parents' consent. [editline]29th February 2016[/editline] [QUOTE=wauterboi;49839373] What's wrong with your parents knowing you are suicidal? Don't worry, I understand the stress so you aren't a weirdo of it, but I'm asking you to reason this out.[/QUOTE]My mother would worry herself to death and my father would make fun of me for it, which cuts really deep emotionally.

[QUOTE=AtomicSans;49840429]I don't think I can be prescribed medication without my parents' consent. [editline]29th February 2016[/editline] My mother would worry herself to death and my father would make fun of me for it, which cuts really deep emotionally.[/QUOTE] The question then is; how well do you trust your therapist? As technically your therapist is legally mandated to inform your parents, but practically your therapist is someone who's whole profession is about making assessments. If you tell your therapist that you feel like your mother would lose her cool and your dad to act in a ridiculing manner, then your therapist could consult legal advice from colleagues on how to circumvent that ordeal. Besides: on the other end of the spectrum; therapists are mandated to report abuse to the authorities. It ain't black and white. But I feel you. I've felt the same way regarding having my parents know, despite being 22 years old. I should try to get sleep. But I fear that letting go of the distractions will open the floodgates to catastrophic rumination.

I don't have the energy for this, I just don't, I don't have the energy to live my own life and solve my own problems one of these days I'm just going to lay down and never get back up and, I don't know, starve to death or something i cant take care of myself anymore

I've been having some bad back and shoulder pain recently, what do I do?

Is it just me or does cringeworthy pictures make anyone else feel horribly depressed? It makes [I]me[/I] feel like I'm cringy and gross and ugly.

God damn it. Now my dreams are even twisted reminders of how I lost my love. I can't even find solace in sleep.

[QUOTE=kijji;49841447]I've been having some bad back and shoulder pain recently, what do I do?[/QUOTE] I recently has a sports/deep tissue massage for the same problem and it really helped. You can also get a special computer chair to support your back better.

[QUOTE=AtomicSans;49840429]I don't think I can be prescribed medication without my parents' consent. [editline]29th February 2016[/editline] My mother would worry herself to death and my father would make fun of me for it, which cuts really deep emotionally.[/QUOTE] Perhaps you could confront your mother and tell her that you are sorting out your issues with the therapist and that she shouldn't worry. As for your dad, fuck him. Don't let him get to you. He might use it as a means to belittle you in personal conversations, but with time you will be able to leave and [B]never see him again[/B].

So, I learned a lot about myself lately. The major bullet point being that... I never fixed the issues that plagued me in school. Never did. This was frustrating and infuriating for years because I screwed up a lot then, moved out on my own, and everything was fine. Then, met my GF, things were still fine. Stuff started to pick up with her, and I started dropping the ball on things. Just occasionally at first. Then it happened more. and more. and more. and I got really scared because I thought something had changed with me and I was coming apart. Realized I was depressed, put myself on anti-depressants. Things improve a little, but still can't seem to handle normal life. Frustration continues. Feel completely inadequate and unable to function anymore. Things spiral slowly. Fights get worse. God bless my gf though she sticks around, wants to help, knows we can beat this. Change anti-depressants. Helps a little. up the dose, helps a little more, but the problems were still happening. the fights were still happening. I was still screwing up with prioritization and keeping promises. Not for lack of trying, but I just... kept forgetting. I get sidetracked, start to do something else, and before long I've completely forgotten I was supposed to be doing something important, and it doesn't get done, and fights happen. But I learned something recently. The reason why things were fine when I moved out was because life was simple. Wake up, go to work, come home, hang out, go to bed, repeat. Things got busier for me when my gf came into my life, and I started to fail at prioritizing and keeping focused. Or, more accurately, the problems I've had my entire life became visible again, but they were masked so well by my simple lifestyle that they looked like new problems. Oddly enough, the feeling is both depressing and... liberating. Depressing because that means I made zero progress on that front when I moved out. Liberating because now the enemy has a face, a name. Now I can fight it. Even if that problem was the same problem that my parents steadfastly [I]refused[/I] to acknowledge, address, or discuss as a possibility. No, I was just lazy, thats it. Just pull up them bootstraps. So I've asked to be prescribed adderall. I haven't filled it yet, but if it helps then so be it it helps.

I'm starting to wonder if I could, at all, qualify for disability with my University. The absence policy that a lot of my classes have can severely affect the letter grades I get, but some days, my digestive system won't even let me leave the house. Some of my classes are a good hundred or more yards from the nearest bathrooms and it's hard as hell trying to work myself up to leaving the house some days. But most of my classes allow for two absences before they start lowering my letter grade and me being absent has been an issue almost every single year of my college career. I have to take prescription medication and I have documentation from the ER but I'm not entirely sure if that'd be enough. I'm worried I'm gonna try and apply and they're gonna laugh in my face because my condition doesn't seem like something I need special allowances for. But on my worst days, I can't even get out of bed because of severe stomach or abdominal cramping or just an inability to keep any water or food in my stomach. It kind of upsets me because I don't want me not going to school because of something I can't help to affect my grade. But this is like the one time I'm afraid of being "rejected" from something.

tbh I don't see why it shouldn't qualify as a disability, if you can't leave your house some days, then it's a disability in my mind

Hey, I'm still alive, have been hanging around with my friend at her place. We've been playing video games and eating food whenever she's not in class. I'm not legally allowed to live there because of her stupid attourney so I have to provide proof that I have different residency or both me and her could wind up kicked out and homeless, as I've said before. Except I arranged the possibility of living with my grandfather on this island off the east coast and I'll be doing landscaping work for my uncle. So unfortunatley I do have to leave my friend once again. It's looking to be that we may never be roomates, we really wanted to be roomates and we had this vision of it for years, but that's okay I can always visit. I'll most likely see her again in six months when I turn 19. I'm going to take down my gofundme for now, because I'm pretty sure I'm not gonna be homeless, I mean there's always a possibility... I can't thank you guys enough for being supportive.

I've been doing really well keeping my anxiety under control these past few months. I've always kept in mind not to worry about ANYTHING whatsoever, because it will do nothing but make things worse for you in the here and now.

So I don't talk about it much but I have on and off episodes of depression, anxiety it's hard to explain but it's weird, it's like a kind of life-apathy, through negative experiences, a lot of which were self induced feeling like a fuck up, wanting to not be a fuck up, fucking things up, closing myself off, but it happens so gradually I barely notice it then, suddenly it hits me and i'm in a state of depression, and need to do something about it... so I do, until it comes back eventually in the worst of it it's been the textbook state of 'I don't see the meaning or value in anything' or even 'I feel like i'm not cut out for this life', the irony is my anxieties/panic attack stuff always relates to the idea of one day dying, yet, my day to day anxieties prevent me from being as active as I'd like to be Too scared to live, too scared to die growing up it never used to be like this, i've been pondering a lot on my better childhood memories, how simple things were, how easy it was to just... 'be free' then I start thinking about the shitty relationship I have with my family, how it's just a cycle of negative bs that, really, I could say drags me down, but I can't blame them for the way I react to it, after all, they're just people too, who grew up in this same world of possibilities, have their own insecurities, anxieties, whatever it's just weird man, it's like... usually when I get into a depressive phase, I think about all the bad things that are making me hate my life situation in that present moment, all the things that are bringing me down, all the things i'm lacking but tonight.. it's more like i'm not lacking anything, i'm just realizing that i'm really not embracing what is, and I feel like I don't know how to anymore there's a whole world out there... and I just waste days away in my room trying to 'get my head right' or whatever, trying to get myself ready to tackle the outside world, and I do, when I need too, but i'm more inclined to just isolate but there was a time when I didn't need too, and I managed to enjoy that world just fine, embracing everything about it, whether it was friendship or conflict, certainty or uncertainty, head on with the wide eyes of curiosity. it's a humbling feeling, but it's painful, because it is what it is, it's the realization that i've wasted more time trying to beat depression, apathy, anxiety, than actually doing the things I wish to be doing with my life, and those things are very much things that I once used to do... It's like we grow up trying to learn everything, wishing to be adults, wishing to be wise and mature, but we enjoy it, we enjoy the process and the idea of it then we get there and suddenly... it's a burden, it's the opposite of what we imagined, and we spend so much time trying to find a way back to what was, and it's painful. my ramblings might not make much sense, idk, idc, i'm tired, i'm going to sleep.

-snip-

I need to get this off my chest, because I noticed that I have gotten worse with it, and that was today. I realised that I have become really narcissistic. A friend of mine made something for a group of ours. They included most of the regulars, but me and I got really upset about it, to the point where my body was shaking out of fury or sadness. I can't even describe how I feel in that situation. I felt shitty because I wasn't in the priority, but these people were the ones that they always talked about. I do chat here once in a while and almost everyone knows me for being a really nice guy and praise me for the stuff that I am doing. For some reason, I feel the need of thinking, "I hope I am relevant in this group". I mean, it could be because the one was relying on the most noticable members. My jokes never comes accross or just gets blatantly ignored, hell I bet after that rant I made there, I probably lost some friends. I am a fucking retard and expect everything to involve about me, if there was a way to stop being narcissistic, I'd gladly look towards it because I am getting sick of it. Narcissism is completely fucking me over. Maybe I should contribute to the group more. Idfk I might completely regret posting that, but I just had to vent about this.

Well, I submitted my disability papers and I'm not sure if they'll need further documentation, but I'm just outright hoping they don't reject me. Wish me luck, guys. If I can get registered, it might make college a whole lot easier for me.

[QUOTE=Davidn64;49845943]I need to get this off my chest, because I noticed that I have gotten worse with it, and that was today. I realised that I have become really narcissistic. A friend of mine made something for a group of ours. They included most of the regulars, but me and I got really upset about it, to the point where my body was shaking out of fury or sadness. I can't even describe how I feel in that situation. I felt shitty because I wasn't in the priority, but these people were the ones that they always talked about. I do chat here once in a while and almost everyone knows me for being a really nice guy and praise me for the stuff that I am doing. For some reason, I feel the need of thinking, "I hope I am relevant in this group". I mean, it could be because the one was relying on the most noticable members. My jokes never comes accross or just gets blatantly ignored, hell I bet after that rant I made there, I probably lost some friends. I am a fucking retard and expect everything to involve about me, if there was a way to stop being narcissistic, I'd gladly look towards it because I am getting sick of it. Narcissism is completely fucking me over. Maybe I should contribute to the group more. Idfk I might completely regret posting that, but I just had to vent about this.[/QUOTE] are you sure it's narcissism or could it be the feeling of being left out, the scare of being uninteresting which might lead to losing your circle of friends? I'm not sure if I'm feeling the eeeexact same thing you're feeling but I quickly feel left out as soon as I'm not included for a few seconds. I've never viewed this as narcissism but instead an unreasonable fear of and suspicion of being left out, not having any interesting values that'll keep people around, which all leads to that fear of being lonely. as soon as I'm included again, I'll feel fine and even happy. it doesn't take much to turn that around though as described, all it takes is a few seconds of not being in the conversation with the people I'm with. I too often want to be included and involved in everything which I recall being expected before but I think I managed to turn it around at one point. I get pretty upset still when I realize people do shit without me to the point of feeling physically ill but I'm able to comfort myself somewhat. I've realized I can't share this as it's unreasonable and just in my head which I genuinely believe, but the feelings of being left out is of course as strong as usual.

[QUOTE=PredGD;49846000]are you sure it's narcissism or could it be the feeling of being left out, the scare of being uninteresting which might lead to losing your circle of friends? I'm not sure if I'm feeling the eeeexact same thing you're feeling but I quickly feel left out as soon as I'm not included for a few seconds. I've never viewed this as narcissism but instead an unreasonable fear of and suspicion of being left out, not having any interesting values that'll keep people around, which all leads to that fear of being lonely. as soon as I'm included again, I'll feel fine and even happy. it doesn't take much to turn that around though as described, all it takes is a few seconds of not being in the conversation with the people I'm with. I too often want to be included and involved in everything which I recall being expected before but I think I managed to turn it around at one point. I get pretty upset still when I realize people do shit without me to the point of feeling physically ill but I'm able to comfort myself somewhat. I've realized I can't share this as it's unreasonable and just in my head which I genuinely believe, but the feelings of being left out is of course as strong as usual.[/QUOTE] I think this is more the definition I was looking for. I am just afraid that I lose the circle of my friends. I feel like they don't care about me, since they also rarely chat with me on steam.

I get that too, sometimes. Don't worry, it's not narcissism, just a different form of social anxiety. You're not an asshole for not wanting to be left out.