Depression, anxiety, suicidalism and similar disorders, issues and troubles V4 - Discussion, help an - General

Anyone know how to stop being an autistic cunt with no friends?

anyone else ever feel like they just wanna walk down the road forever

[QUOTE=Tobin;49950529]Anyone know how to stop being an autistic cunt with no friends?[/QUOTE] Well, try not to think too much about it. It you've got no friends or the current ones don't like you, then there is a good opportunity to meet new people. You could even talk to me right now. Change is possible, it can be difficult, but doable. [editline]17th March 2016[/editline] [QUOTE=Systema;49950694]anyone else ever feel like they just wanna walk down the road forever[/QUOTE] I have recurring dreams that start with me at the crossroads of an infinite highway. It's all foggy and quiet, but I feel comfortable in there for some reason.

[QUOTE=plunger435;49942491]Woah the way you're going about this sounds really unhealthy. That's almost beyond over thinking at this point. You really need to reevaluate how you're interacting people and how you're interpreting their words. No need to get so caught up on messages.[/QUOTE] I was just a little surprised by her usage of hearts, she never sends them and when she does it's always to bring "bad news". was also bummed that she started to make changes to our plans, didn't really like that. I think it's a mix between the two, me over thinking and how she went on about this. might not be right to blame her here but I clearly see the pattern, she has a tendency to prioritize her own well being a little too much. she does exactly what she wants most of the time with little regard to others around her.

God, I want to just get away from my mom but I will have no where to live if I do get away. She is constantly hitting my animals and threatening to kill them, and she knows one cat likes to eat plastic so she keeps some out in the middle of the room just to bait the cat so she has an excuse for hitting him. She also is trying to stop me from doing my school work. Since I go to an online school I have a school laptop. And I cant be certain, but the screen got cracked and she was all pissed at me. I told her that I can send it back for a repair and it would be free (which it is),but she got mad at me for suggesting that I could call the school tech support (which just makes me think that it was her fault even more). Doesnt help that I have a special test that I have to do that can be only done on my laptop, so now I will have to repeat 11th grade if I cant get it repaired in 5 days.

removed a long term friend ("friend") and a uni classmate of mine 2 days ago. she just found out now. her reaction was "did you do it intentionally?" i said "yes" and she replied with "ok". yeah that's right. the exact reaction i anticipated. how unacceptable right? someone removed YOU, the GREATEST person to ever live? don't worry, you'll get over it in an hour and then you'll continue to exist as a selfish lying piece of shit you always were. me? well i just have to suffer for the rest of 1.5 fucking years we have left together, while you're gonna be talking and laughing with everybody else except me (but oh wait, that's the exact reason me and you had a problem and i've spent more than a fucking year trying to solve, without any hint of care from your part other than "what are you talking about we're good friends right? oh, friends are supposed to talk about stuff, share their opinion and feelings on things, help each other? don't know anything about that haha!") if there's a thing i truly regret doing it's confessing my feelings to you. i thought you'd understand and change something for the better. but no, you're too busy with your (SO COMPLICATED) life for that. fuck you.

I'm in much better space today. Yeah my family is spreading lies about me,but there's no court case so that's good. My landlord and grandmothers have been spreading the most lies. I was told by my grandpa (who is thankfully on my side) that "Haley ran off to live with her boyfriend in Alabama after assaulting her own mother with pencils." Which isn't what happened at all, my grandma was arguing with me about trump and she called me a "Muslim Isis communist" and I yelled at her and threw a bucket of pencils. The landlord came up and she kept calling me names and charged at me as if she were about to beat me, grandma laughed at me called me insane and she had this hateful look in her eyes as she was laughing... and I freaked out and curled up into a ball and screamed like holy hell at all of them. Step dad, grandma, and landlord all surrounded me yelling at me for screaming and told me to pick up the pencil bucket I threw... In The past when I was a kid, I was beaten by my family (rarely, but it happened once in a blue moon) a few times super badly and I get really scared when I'm surrounded by people laughing or yelling at me, if someone charges at me I get really fucking scared and I collapse to the floor in a ball and scream for help... I did this same thing the night I got kicked out and sent to the hospital. The people at the hospital thought my family was rediculous. She called the cops on me and the cops told my grandma and landlord to "shit the hell up and let the girl explain" It sucks because every relative I talk to acts strange around me as if I was a criminal. They either act "forgiving" because I had to apologize for something I never did... It's upsetting. As for my friend I guess she didn't sent any pictures of me to that internet friend. I have to take her word for it. She's a good person. She really is, as much shit I say on here about her she's not bad. And for being single, I'd love to use tinder to verify that I'm worth something, because believe it or not I struggle with a low self confidence most days. I try to ignore it...but tinder still Dosent work on my iPod.

After almost a decade i would very much like to get better please

I need new friends. I should probably spend some time discovering places I can go to discover new people. perhaps I should sign up for some daily activities. I'm very dissatisfied with my selection of friends. it's hard to tell if it's them or just me not tackling the social stuff properly, but I like to imagine it's them. I have met people who have the values I want in a friend but haven't really matched with unfortunately so they do exist.

Feels like I'll never have a S/O ever again. Anyone I have feelings for always puts me between friend and boyfriend, but always pushes back to friend and makes me feel like shit for weeks. At this point I don't even want to live anymore and feel like life is just a massive fucking hassle that I'll always be alone in.

[QUOTE=Tobin;49950529]Anyone know how to stop being an autistic cunt with no friends?[/QUOTE] Being autistic is just a label to notify certain aspects of society that some mental faculties require support to have better living standards. Other than that you are experiencing anxiety based on wanting to be someone you're not, after dedicating some time studying what other peoples perception of me was and by generally behaving bipolar to really push it, I can tell you, you can go to any place of group activity and behave any way you want. My bipolar has taught me that doing wrong and keep doing things wrong, just makes me less uncomfortable with being wrong. Eventually it turned out I am likable as a friend as people care too much about my mental health when understanding I am sometimes ill. Find somewhere to talk to people, make mistakes and I can guarantee you will gain friends. If motivation is an issue, try contemplating the purpose of having friends. It is so that you can reinforce your sense of identity, become more experienced in communicating effectively and keep isolation induced depression away. Don't forget the function of having fun either. [editline]17th March 2016[/editline] [QUOTE=Sgt. Nikolai;49948504]Ratings get me anxious at times. I know it's ridiculous and dumb to care for ratings, but the idea of being dumbed to hell and getting negative replies gets me a little bit nervous. Sometimes I make posts when I'm angry or sad and then I never want to see my replies because I feel like someone probably found them dumb or called me out for something.[/QUOTE] Remember that these are opinions that could have been made pretty much on impulse as well and these are not facts about you as a person, considering acts based on impulse are uncharacteristic to the actual nature of ones behavior. It is a natural reaction to feel anxious about these things, most certainly, but try to challenge yourself once next time you think you have gotten a bad reply or a dumb rating to just observe. You will either find that no one bothered to respond or that someone rated you dumb but you can choose to just find purpose in learning from it. Both the exposure and the idea that people can rate you dumb just out of a personal fear of being wrong, that's called psychological projection which makes them the problem, not you. Also, studies have shown that telling people your embarrassed or anxious makes you more likable as it gives the impression you're more susceptible to adaptation. So either observing & ignoring, or telling people you feel bad about it will make you feel better in the end. Little exposure therapy.

I shouldnt be so open to my personal problems online, but its fine I guess... people on reddit do it too. People do it everywhere. Hoping if I get through this someone else who is going through something similar can see the raw thought process and relate and push through themselves. It's not like I (or any of us) am doing anything wrong.

[QUOTE=Shaohs;49951142]God, I want to just get away from my mom but I will have no where to live if I do get away. She is constantly hitting my animals and threatening to kill them, and she knows one cat likes to eat plastic so she keeps some out in the middle of the room just to bait the cat so she has an excuse for hitting him. She also is trying to stop me from doing my school work. Since I go to an online school I have a school laptop. And I cant be certain, but the screen got cracked and she was all pissed at me. I told her that I can send it back for a repair and it would be free (which it is),but she got mad at me for suggesting that I could call the school tech support (which just makes me think that it was her fault even more). Doesnt help that I have a special test that I have to do that can be only done on my laptop, so now I will have to repeat 11th grade if I cant get it repaired in 5 days.[/QUOTE] This is a dysfunctional and unhealthy relationship with your mother. I'm guessing its taking a toll on your well being, usually people project back acts of anger like its contagious. You probably need some space from each-other for some time, I used to have an unhealthy relationship with my mother (Actually it's dysfunctional right now too, I don't live at her place anymore but she doesn't consider me her son anymore after me having another bipolar episode, you would think a nurse with special education in psychiatry would know better than to completely disown a child because of mental illness). Anyway, back when I lived with her, several years ago, I decided to practice selective mutism for a couple of months, not talking to her or responding to what she says or does at all. If communication is necessary just write a note and leave it where you know she'll find it. That'll create some emotional distance between the two of you, letting both of you to spend some time processing unresolved emotional issues that probably fuels the feud.

it's so incredibly frustrating to see a friend knowingly sabotage themselves. them fucking up their body and life when they know the end result. I don't see this logic at all. "I'm willingly gonna become an alcoholic!" said no one ever, this creeps up on people, why would you intentionally put you into that mess?

[QUOTE=IJNOMED;49953087]I shouldnt be so open to my personal problems online, but its fine I guess... people on reddit do it too. People do it everywhere. Hoping if I get through this someone else who is going through something similar can see the raw thought process and relate and push through themselves. It's not like I (or any of us) am doing anything wrong.[/QUOTE] You can probably be more open than you think considering expressing yourself online is basically anonymity with a pseudonym. You are not worthless, a stressful environment lowers your self-esteem and ventilating thoughts here gives you validation, there's no pressure on being someone and not any dictating individuals that can criticize you here. If the current people online are having a hard time offering advice right at this moment, consider your voice heard instead, we listen and experience empathy. [editline]17th March 2016[/editline] [QUOTE=PredGD;49953170]it's so incredibly frustrating to see a friend knowingly sabotage themselves. them fucking up their body and life when they know the end result. I don't see this logic at all. "I'm willingly gonna become an alcoholic!" said no one ever, this creeps up on people, why would you intentionally put you into that mess?[/QUOTE] Sometimes our sensual desire is stronger than the ability to deal with the notion of having consequences indulging in it. Could be self-medication or impulses conditioned by habitual behavior, unfortunately these behaviors are hard to break without professional treatment. Intervention is another solution. Sometimes people in situations like this needs to pursue the destructive pattern until a self-realization of maturity occurs, this is usually a significant event that takes place that changes the emotional attitude towards the behavior. It is a difficult thing to watch yes, that is most certain.

[QUOTE=Tobin;49950529]Anyone know how to stop being an autistic cunt with no friends?[/QUOTE] I need to figure this out too, my friends have stopped talking to me because I'm such a fucking downer and so I've become socially fucking retarded and can't hold a conversation

[QUOTE=Tacooo;49954087]I need to figure this out too, my friends have stopped talking to me because I'm such a fucking downer and so I've become socially fucking retarded and can't hold a conversation[/QUOTE] Usually the issue with Asperger Syndrome is depression because of social isolation. This includes low self-esteem, a sense of being socially unworthy. Finding an activity that involves interacting with other people both erases the isolation and with time, the self-esteem issue. I have Asperger Syndrome and am receiving anti-depressants and mood stabilizing medication, I go to therapy and I speculate a lot on what makes me feel a sense of purpose in life. Because that would give me a starting point in what steps I would be able to take in finding an activity outside my apartment while feeling good doing it. Are you sure your friends perceive you as a downer and socially retarded or are you creating an image of yourself based on how you're feeling? It's completely normal to feel this way and I'm sure your friends have a completely different picture of you than you have while experiencing anxiety. Misery is contagious too, I've noticed I make my friends anxious when I myself express feelings of anxiety. This could lead to mutual uncertainty about how to approach one another. Exposing yourself and pretending you're not the slightest anxious about anything might reverse the situation. Would you accept a challenge to contact your friends based on this form of pretending? Just striking up a conversation with fake but strong confidence.

[IMG]http://i.imgur.com/2ss5b2l.jpg?1[/IMG] Have any of you guys tried this book? A friend recommended it to me and I have it ordered. I know a little bit about it but I'm skeptical because of the whole objectivist/libertarian association. [sp]But that's okay because I secretly love Ayn Rand.[/sp]

i cant handle life anymore. i dont enjoy anything at all, and i just cant stay awake until the early morning trying to talk either one of my parents not to kill themselves. every time i come home its like a nightmare, my parents are at eachothers throats and i get drug into the shit every time and even if i wanted to distance myself from it i cant because im afraid one of them might hurt themself. ive got a slew of my own problems to deal with including severe depression and anxiety, and i can't even make an effort to fix myself because the support i have talks about wanting to blow their own brains out and gives me advice such as "gear up because life is going to be shit" i fucking cant. i want to leave and i dont have anywhere to go or any means to do it, but honestly the only thing i can think about anymore is hoping i wont wake up the next morning

I get depressed when I'm not at work, even when I'm doing things I like. When I'm at work, I long to have some time off to do the hobbies I like, the same hobbies that make me depressed when I'm doing them. Everyone I meet seems to leave me. I have no goals other than to make movies and I'm sitting on fifty thousand dollars worth of an inheritance, [I](which when I didn't have that money I dreamed of buying many fanciful things with)[/I] only to do nothing with it than pay bills. I swear, unless something fantastic happens that turns my life around for the better, I'm probably gonna bite the bullet after I make my movie. /angsty post over

[QUOTE=GhostProject;49954756]i cant handle life anymore. i dont enjoy anything at all, and i just cant stay awake until the early morning trying to talk either one of my parents not to kill themselves. every time i come home its like a nightmare, my parents are at eachothers throats and i get drug into the shit every time and even if i wanted to distance myself from it i cant because im afraid one of them might hurt themself. ive got a slew of my own problems to deal with including severe depression and anxiety, and i can't even make an effort to fix myself because the support i have talks about wanting to blow their own brains out and gives me advice such as "gear up because life is going to be shit" i fucking cant. i want to leave and i dont have anywhere to go or any means to do it, but honestly the only thing i can think about anymore is hoping i wont wake up the next morning[/QUOTE] Put them on suicide watch or something. That sort of environment isn't okay.

So I rarely post here, but I'm in need of some advice. I've been taking Sertraline (Zoloft) 50 mg for depression and anxiety for the past couple months and it's been working really well, but due to some infrequent side effects (excruciating pain every couple weeks immediately after taking the meds), my doctor has chosen to change me to Citalopram (Celexa) 10 mg. Has anyone had this transition before, and if so, is there anything I should be looking out for? I have to stop the sertraline for a couple days before starting on the citalopram and I'm worried of how it will effect me.

[QUOTE=James xX;49958244]So I rarely post here, but I'm in need of some advice. I've been taking Sertraline (Zoloft) 50 mg for depression and anxiety for the past couple months and it's been working really well, but due to some infrequent side effects (excruciating pain every couple weeks immediately after taking the meds), my doctor has chosen to change me to Citalopram (Celexa) 10 mg. Has anyone had this transition before, and if so, is there anything I should be looking out for? I have to stop the sertraline for a couple days before starting on the citalopram and I'm worried of how it will effect me.[/QUOTE] 50 milligrams of Sertraline is not really that high of a dosage, I wouldn't worry. Citalopram is also a pretty mild SSRI, there shouldn't be any problems my friend.

Anxiety is fucking me constantly since yesterday. I constantly feel queasy and sick. I fucking hate it.

normal day going p well no problems oh wait here comes the thought that destroys the decent mood fuck you sob in a corner for a few hours about shit that shouldn't matter

Ive been too paranoid to sleep or eat at all for the past week. Everything just feels terrible

I signed up on going out with coworkers tonight and there's one of them i have a massive and i mean MASSIVE crush on. my anxiety is blowing up and my heartrate will not slow down, neither will the indigestion.

It's 3 AM, I've swallowed a xanax with some vodka after a day on amphetamine, I need to go to sleep but I don't feel like it.

[QUOTE=Solodris;49962266]It's 3 AM, [B]I've swallowed a xanax with some vodka after a day on amphetamine[/B], I need to go to sleep but I don't feel like it.[/QUOTE] why are you doing that? :frown:

I accepted death, but can't find a good time without inconveniencing those around me.