Depression, anxiety, suicidalism and similar disorders, issues and troubles V4 - Discussion, help an - General

[QUOTE=Rummy.SM;49971501]I know people might not care.. Anyway, I've been suffering with social anxiety and emotional issues (mostly anger) for most of my life, I never really made any friends in real life and when i did. i always attempted to back away in fear of getting backstabbed/hurt and often a lot of the people that picked on me. i tend to bottle that anger in my head and try to act null about it. I would sometimes throw a bit of a fit when i was younger. Now a days i would use my anger for my hobbies and professions. I'm always optmistic about my future. but yet i'm scared of what lies ahead because of my anger. I might hurt everyone i care about. I often listen to very calm/emotionally directed songs to calm myself down.[/QUOTE] Social anxiety is clinging to expectations, where indulging in these expectations creates the self defense mechanism of experiencing anger, a sense that anything you do will be a struggle in competing about being a supreme form of human incarnation. I want to tell you that you should note that being supreme is but an effortless practice in being a function to provide rather than divide your sense of being different to others. All claims about being better or worse than others is an illusion out of the natural design to genetically succeed the breeding ground of evolutionary adaptation. The abundance of modern society distorts your instincts, but seeing that they are a fruitless pursuance awakens your mind, deducing that the function of relating to other human beings is simply an act of exchanging experiences to better adapt to an environment that no longer exists. Be free and create yourself.

[QUOTE=Rummy.SM;49971501]I know people might not care.. Anyway, I've been suffering with social anxiety and emotional issues (mostly anger) for most of my life, I never really made any friends in real life and when i did. i always attempted to back away in fear of getting backstabbed/hurt and often a lot of the people that picked on me. i tend to bottle that anger in my head and try to act null about it. I would sometimes throw a bit of a fit when i was younger. Now a days i would use my anger for my hobbies and professions. I'm always optmistic about my future. but yet i'm scared of what lies ahead because of my anger. I might hurt everyone i care about. I often listen to very calm/emotionally directed songs to calm myself down.[/QUOTE] Its ok to take slowly when making friends, also if they intentionally hurt you, they are not worth your time. Also its good that you have found way to vent your anger to hobbies, sometimes when i feel anxiety kick in, i start photoshop and start editing since i am studying graphic design. Sometimes when i finish something i feel actually much better, like transferring anxiety for picture. Stay optimistic dude!

Had my first anxiety attack earlier, got through it but I'm still spooked by it.

My dermatillomania, and trichotillomania has been pretty bad lately. Does anyone here struggle with these? How do you deal with it?

Crosspost from the growing up thread Went to get my teeth out... and couldn't. Earlier this month they said they knock me out via iv in the arm. my friends said a gasmask would be used. Turns out, they were gonna use a syringe to numb my mouth first; I don't like sharp pointy objects, especially near my mouth. The last time I went to the dentist to get some stuff done on my mouth and the dentist jammed the syringe in mouth multiple times after my mom told him to stop. It was so painful, the type of painful you don't forget. The dentist also said they were gonna to put me under, but then they said they don't to that at their office. During all this, my dad is getting really pissed at me, but doesn't understand my Asperger's and I start bawling my head off during all this cause I was scared/high because they gave me some pills to help with my anxiety and fears, which actually made it worse. I'm going to an oral surgeon monday and hopefully I'll be able to pay the $500 and not have another incident like this. Do you guys have any advice for what to do about my extreme fear of shots? I'm fine with getting my blood drawn and stuff but getting a shot triggers some sort of fight or flight response, like one time I was heavily sedated and it still took 4 nurses to hold me down to attempt to give me a shot.

[QUOTE=coyote93;49980691]So, anyone got a tip for what you do when nothing actually seem to matter or be interesting anymore? I mean, I used to love food and candy, but now its just meh. Alcohol don't seem to have the same effect any longer either. My body reacts to it, but I don't numb out, like I used to. I'm all clear. My friends.. I noticed more and more stuff about them that I didn't like, so I don't hang out as much any longer. And when we do hang out, we drink. cant sleep either, and if I fall asleep it ain't for long, and then the headaches come. I don't know if this is the right place to post this, because I don't think I'm depressed, at-least I'm sure that I ain't sad or anything. I'm just fucking tired.[/QUOTE] Thats how sometimes feel after a long day at school. Have you tried exercising or listening to music? That helps me quite a bit when I'm feeling down

I left an abusive relationship and found a beautiful girl. We're moving in together. I really fell in love with her, it's like I didn't even know the feeling until I fell for her. She's so amazing, I can't describe it. Her kids are way awesome. Everything is so perfect. [I]be back in three to six months.[/I]

[QUOTE=mralexs;49980151]Crosspost from the growing up thread Went to get my teeth out... and couldn't. Earlier this month they said they knock me out via iv in the arm. my friends said a gasmask would be used. Turns out, they were gonna use a syringe to numb my mouth first; I don't like sharp pointy objects, especially near my mouth. The last time I went to the dentist to get some stuff done on my mouth and the dentist jammed the syringe in mouth multiple times after my mom told him to stop. It was so painful, the type of painful you don't forget. The dentist also said they were gonna to put me under, but then they said they don't to that at their office. During all this, my dad is getting really pissed at me, but doesn't understand my Asperger's and I start bawling my head off during all this cause I was scared/high because they gave me some pills to help with my anxiety and fears, which actually made it worse. I'm going to an oral surgeon monday and hopefully I'll be able to pay the $500 and not have another incident like this. Do you guys have any advice for what to do about my extreme fear of shots? I'm fine with getting my blood drawn and stuff but getting a shot triggers some sort of fight or flight response, like one time I was heavily sedated and it still took 4 nurses to hold me down to attempt to give me a shot.[/QUOTE] Honestly, the only real advice I can give you, as someone who also has Aspergers/fear of needles... Just gotta suck up and deal with the cards you are handed my friend. In the case of dental work, they do not use laughing gas, but use numbing shots with Novocain(I think) and after the first two shots, you'll feel absolutely nothing. Also, you can move your toes a bit to keep yourself occupied while it's happening, just remain calm and think of happy thoughts.

Anyone else having like once or twice a week anxiety kick in when going to sleep? I start thinking about work that i need to do and usually it ends me up worrying about the whole future. Most of my friends are in relationship and working, when im just still figuring out what i want studying and never had a stable relationship, or even had that many dates. All this starts to feel like pressure in chest and throat somehow and cant get sleep sometimes. This maybe kind of common and not big thing but i just wanted to share.

My self-hatred seems to be getting worse, and I can't see my therapist for a while because I have to save money cuz I'm gonna be on medical leave for a month and a half.

[img]http://i.imgur.com/7r2I3Ft.jpg[/img] this is surprisingly accurate

snapchat is a source of discomfort. always hated their "scoring system" and "best friends" thing. I don't know if I'm alone or not in this regard, but I actually get uncomfortable by having a low score there compared to friends. it makes me feel like I have much less of a life than them. then there's the best friends thing, it's not cool when you're not your friends best friend on snapchat :( I like snapchat, it's a good way to share whats up with a selection of people without sending a direct message to all of them. what I hate about snapchat is the social stuff that's packed into it, especially how it's implemented.

[QUOTE=PredGD;49983920]snapchat is a source of discomfort. always hated their "scoring system" and "best friends" thing. I don't know if I'm alone or not in this regard, but I actually get uncomfortable by having a low score there compared to friends. it makes me feel like I have much less of a life than them. then there's the best friends thing, it's not cool when you're not your friends best friend on snapchat :( I like snapchat, it's a good way to share whats up with a selection of people without sending a direct message to all of them. what I hate about snapchat is the social stuff that's packed into it, especially how it's implemented.[/QUOTE] I always saw Snapchat as being a little bad for being Social, limited characters to talk to people, unless you use the chat - I always preferred to just use Messenger instead. At least in your case, you wouldn't need to know whether you're on a close friends 'best friend' list.

I go back to work on Monday. And I genuinely don't want to go back. I have such an insane amount of anxiety about it all. Fuck I wish I could just not have to worry about money. I'm just truly unfit to work.

Feels good to be off of University for three weeks now - time to finally catch up on work that's been driving my Anxiety insane. [IMG]http://roflzoo.com/pics/201111/smiling-dog-big.jpg[/IMG]

[QUOTE=PredGD;49983920]snapchat is a source of discomfort. always hated their "scoring system" and "best friends" thing. I don't know if I'm alone or not in this regard, but I actually get uncomfortable by having a low score there compared to friends. it makes me feel like I have much less of a life than them. then there's the best friends thing, it's not cool when you're not your friends best friend on snapchat :( I like snapchat, it's a good way to share whats up with a selection of people without sending a direct message to all of them. what I hate about snapchat is the social stuff that's packed into it, especially how it's implemented.[/QUOTE]I've never used Snapchat, and I don't even know how it works; however, from what you've just described, I'm starting to feel glad that I never tried it. I was actually thinking about downloading it soon, but I might change my mind now. I do not need an app that has the potential to make me think badly of my friends.

[QUOTE=JoeSkylynx;49983275]Honestly, the only real advice I can give you, as someone who also has Aspergers/fear of needles... Just gotta suck up and deal with the cards you are handed my friend. In the case of dental work, they do not use laughing gas, but use numbing shots with Novocain(I think) and after the first two shots, you'll feel absolutely nothing. Also, you can move your toes a bit to keep yourself occupied while it's happening, just remain calm and think of happy thoughts.[/QUOTE] So they can't make me fall asleep during this? Because that would alleviate 100% of the problems

Lately I've been able to tune out the constant feeling of loneliness I have to deal with but I feel like that's only temporary. I'm fully aware of how alone I feel and I doubt there's anything I can do about it cause I'm such a shitty, ugly, boring person. I wish there was a way that I could be worth someone's time.

I found that a pet helped a lot with loneliness. It doesn't fully replace human interaction but it's still comforting.

While I look like a tough, serious-looking guy in real life, I'm actually really sensitive and emotional and I never say anything until I'm having a breakdown at like 5AM because I just remembered when someone said something mean to me and I said it was okay when it really wasn't. I just wish there was a way to properly express how I feel with people around me. Most of the times it's like "We're just joking man" I can't say "Yeah but my feelings are hurt and I feel bad, it wasn't really that funny for me" because then I would look bad. So I just say "Well it's okay" but I really don't feel okay. Sometimes I wish I wasn't so sensitive but it's too hard for me not to care about stuff. I even feel compassion for my dad after all the shit he has done to me and my family. I love my older brother even if he makes me feel like shit at times, it really isn't is fault, it's just that I'm too soft and he is kind of cold and critical, but that's just the way he is.

[QUOTE=Anderan;49989377]I found that a pet helped a lot with loneliness. It doesn't fully replace human interaction but it's still comforting.[/QUOTE] man id love a pet i could hug and cuddle but god damnit i m allergic to basically everything

[QUOTE=Levithan;49989477]man id love a pet i could hug and cuddle but god damnit i m allergic to basically everything[/QUOTE] Could always get a hairless.

[QUOTE=Levithan;49989477]man id love a pet i could hug and cuddle but god damnit i m allergic to basically everything[/QUOTE] I'm waiting for summer when my friends move back to town and I can visit them and their cat as often as before. Back when they still lived in this city 800 meters from my place; I visited them almost bi-daily and sometimes daily. They had two cats back then and that exposure got me so tolerant of Fel-d1 that I could pick up a cat, sniff its entire back and not suffer any consequences :v:

My existential crisis has gotten to the point where I see no point in caring about anything anymore. The explanation for this is really basic: 1. No matter what I do, I'm going to die. I won't experience anything of what comes afterwards. 2. No matter what I do to affect the world around me, it's all moot since nothing will last forever. The heat death of the universe gives the ultimate guarantee about this, but the human race will go extinct, and earth will be destroyed long before that. So I really don't see why I should put any effort into anything. There doesn't seem to be any goal to work towards so why even bother? How could any person even still bother if they are aware of this? I'm completely and utterly disillusioned about life.

Additionally ever since this phase started I've been feeling incredibly fragile, like I could die at any time. That really freaks me out.

[QUOTE=Doom64hunter;49989787]My existential crisis has gotten to the point where I see no point in caring about anything anymore. The explanation for this is really basic: 1. No matter what I do, I'm going to die. I won't experience anything of what comes afterwards. 2. No matter what I do to affect the world around me, it's all moot since nothing will last forever. The heat death of the universe gives the ultimate guarantee about this, but the human race will go extinct, and earth will be destroyed long before that. So I really don't see why I should put any effort into anything. There doesn't seem to be any goal to work towards so why even bother? How could any person even still bother if they are aware of this? I'm completely and utterly disillusioned about life.[/QUOTE] I think my goal is just to try enjoying myself and improving the lives of those around me. Sure the universe is going to burnt out in a trillion years, but you're only going to be here for the next few decades. It's much more fun to focus on the things we can do now rather than worrying about factors outside of our control such as the end of the world. What is it that you like to do for fun in life, or stuff you find interesting or enjoyable in some capacity? I mean people play sandbox games with no goals in them - they just set their own goals. In life it's a good idea to set yourself some of your own goals you might like to see achieved and then work towards obtaining.

I didn't realize just how hard switching to new medication is. I'm currently in the limbo period where my old one has worn off and the new one hasn't quite started working yet I feel miserable

I'm getting my first antidepressant prescription today quite nervous

[QUOTE=AtomicSans;49991726]I'm getting my first antidepressant prescription today quite nervous[/QUOTE] Do you know the name of it? If you don't mind me asking.

[QUOTE=Doom64hunter;49990244]Additionally ever since this phase started I've been feeling incredibly fragile, like I could die at any time. That really freaks me out.[/QUOTE] A lot of people are dying right now, some people die before even being officially born, I'm fairly certain that out of all the users that are and will be online on this day, some of them won't log in tomorrow, some won't log in the next week and some won't log in in the next couple of years. Some are lucky, survive accidents, avoid death in a split of seconds, recover from terminal diseases. You said it yourself, you could die at anytime, and that does not only apply to you, but to everything in our universe, but just because something gets destroyed or will disappear at some point, it doesn't mean it's not worth enjoying or caring about. Enjoy life, there are a lot of things you could do, draw something, create something other people enjoy, find love in other people and things or develop a passion for something, life might suck, but I've heard that the food is great, so is music and movies, and video games. Find a new skill, you'll never get to fully know yourself, study, workout, improve yourself. You might not have a purpose right now but you really won't find it if you sit there and do nothing, go and keep yourself busy, eventually you'll come up with something and when you do, just remember to enjoy it while it lasts, live your life right now, because you really don't know if it could be gone tomorrow, the next week or maybe within the next couple of years.