Depression, anxiety, suicidalism and similar disorders, issues and troubles V4 - Discussion, help an - General

[QUOTE=PredGD;50022623]I don't really have that many hobbies but the things I used to do was to socialize and be with friends. now I don't really want to meet people and find a lot less joy in it. music too, I could dance along with the music and be completely in love with whatever was playing but now it's just noise I'd rather turn off. games don't hook me for as long as it did, now it's just a way to waste time for 30 minutes before I turn it off and return to aimlessly browsing the web. [/QUOTE] To me, this sounds like you're just burned out on the things that you enjoy. Remember the old saying "Too much of a good thing"? You've become desensitized and you no longer recognize that the things that you are doing are fun. This has happened to me several times before and all it took was for me to either limit my time doing these things, or take a break from them entirely. I'd say either limit your time for about a week or just take a 3-4 day break. Everyone needs a break every now and then.

[QUOTE=WeThreeKingz;50022686]To me, this sounds like you're just burned out on the things that you enjoy. Remember the old saying "Too much of a good thing"? You've become desensitized and you no longer recognize that the things that you are doing are fun. This has happened to me several times before and all it took was for me to either limit my time doing these things, or take a break from them entirely. I'd say either limit your time for about a week or just take a 3-4 day break. Everyone needs a break every now and then.[/QUOTE] I can apply this to games, but music and socializing in general? I haven't really been that social ever since new years eve so I don't think I burned out on that.

Are there stuff you shouldn't say to a psychologist? And I'm not talking about "You like anal?" stuff.

[QUOTE=The bird Man;50023191]Are there stuff you shouldn't say to a psychologist? And I'm not talking about "You like anal?" stuff.[/QUOTE] Tell them everything, they're there to help

I'm fairly certain I'm not alone with this but I'm going to ask anyway; anyone else afraid of the day they realise that they're not depressed anymore? I've pretty much used this stuff as a crutch forever. What happens on that day when I can't blame depression anymore, but have to face the facts that maybe I'm just a lazy or unmotivated or whatever person by nature?

[QUOTE=Zezibesh;50023692]I'm fairly certain I'm not alone with this but I'm going to ask anyway; anyone else afraid of the day they realise that they're not depressed anymore? I've pretty much used this stuff as a crutch forever. What happens on that day when I can't blame depression anymore, but have to face the facts that maybe I'm just a lazy or unmotivated or whatever person by nature?[/QUOTE] The difference is, ineptitude caused by depression is very hard to beat. Ineptitude caused by being lazy can be fixed by getting out there and doing it, it's not as hard as when depression is in the way.

[QUOTE=Zezibesh;50023692]I'm fairly certain I'm not alone with this but I'm going to ask anyway; anyone else afraid of the day they realise that they're not depressed anymore? I've pretty much used this stuff as a crutch forever. What happens on that day when I can't blame depression anymore, but have to face the facts that maybe I'm just a lazy or unmotivated or whatever person by nature?[/QUOTE] that cannot happen. if you aren't depressed and don't have any other mental disorders, then regardless of whether or not you're lazy, you will be mentally healthy by definition. you can be lazy and perfectly happy. it's great to have a hobby to occupy yourself when times are shit. I have made great strides in programming recently, even though I'm generally fighting an overarching dullness in my life which won't go away (there is at least one big drastic thing that might change that, which I am going to go for when I get the courage.) I get your fear though. some days it feels like I'll be this forever, like my characteristics are immutable and I'm wired for stagnation and suffering - it's not true. the brain is plastic, you can always change, you can always improve. [editline]29th March 2016[/editline] and if everything else fails you can pin your hopes and dreams on pharmaceuticals and hormones like me lmao

[QUOTE=The bird Man;50023191]Are there stuff you shouldn't say to a psychologist? And I'm not talking about "You like anal?" stuff.[/QUOTE] Tell them everything, it doesn't matter as they are their to help and can't disclose information except in certain situations which a waiver will tell you what normally.

i dont even understand how i feel right now. my girlfriend pretty much broke up with me, and here i thought she legitimately liked me, that i finally found someone i can connect with and be close to. she said she needs some days to think things through but i know what that means. i dont even know why im posting this because even 5 years ago i barely posted on this forum, but i just got to throw it out there to someone. i just want to connect with someone and i dont understand why its so hard for me

I can't fucking win. I get depressed, I gain 10 pounds. I get increased dosage of depression medications, which increases my appetite, I gain another almost 10 pounds. I tell myself I'm not going eat but then for some reason I'm just lying down and I feel almost physically uncomfortable because I hadn't eaten something, and I eat something and I feel a bit better about it and I hate it. I had managed to lose weight despite the medications before; I stuck to a fairly good diet plan and lost 70 pounds (I went down to 140) But now it's just very difficult, I had a meal plan set out for today but I gave up on it when I started to feel uncomfortable late at night at the prospect of not eating. I don't know why I have it, it's not like I'm weak willed because I have managed to lose weight before very easily.

[QUOTE=kijji;50021502]slave labour?[/QUOTE] aka work experience or voluntary work... Working for nothing, pretty much.

another night, another mood swing just waiting for the day something comes and finally ends the pain. i don't want to hurt anymore like tihs

I ended up going into work to talk to the store manager (and my department manager, separately) about losing hours in produce to work in another department (not quitting produce altogether). The current store manager is a stand-in while our current one is on leave with a damaged shoulder. When I told the store manager I couldn't cope with the physicalness of working in produce because I had Ulcerative Colitis he was actually pretty sympathetic; turns out his wife has Crohn's disease, which is a more severe form of IBS, and has a lot of overlap in symptoms and treatments. We ended up having a small talk about that (he asked what medication I was on, I asked what medication she was on, what specialist we both went to etc). Eventually we got to talking about me finding work in another department, and it turns out that meat department needed people to help clean it at the end of the day from 3-7 for a few days a week, and he's going to see if I can do one or both of those days, which works out better for me as it doesn't seem to be very physical work (compared to produce anyway). If that wasn't enough, apparently I've been given 2 regular shifts in deli (I missed the first shift yesterday, but they were understanding as I didn't get any prior warning that they might do it). And they're planning on giving me another, making it 3. I'm actually extremely relieved that I've found work in another department because even if I get kicked out of produce, at least I have a fallback. The people seem pretty nice as well. The only downside is I keep hearing people say that working in deli is shit, but from observing them working from produce and the kind of customers they get it seems no different from when I worked at KFC. Admittedly, the customers that came to KFC were crazy assholes, but at least I know what to expect. I also ended up talking to my department manager, he was, [I]alright[/I] with it. He just kinda mulled it over in his head and then said it would have to wait for a couple of weeks till he could find someone else in the store to cover the shift's I'd be losing. I did tell him I didn't want to leave produce entirely. I genuinely don't hate working in produce, but too much of working in it just stresses me out, which causes my colitis to flare, which makes everything snowball from there. I don't know what he's going to do yet, whether I'll be moved out of produce entirely or whether I'll still have the odd shift in there. We'll see anyway. I just really hope it goes smoothly, and thing's can finally get better. I don't need more stress in my life with all my medical issues. I'd kill to work on front end and just stand around packing groceries all day, despite being monotonous as hell, it would be perfect for my colitis.

I'm genuinely curious and it's fine if you don't wanna answer, but how exactly would the UC affect your work?

[QUOTE=GarbageCan;50024656]I can't fucking win. I get depressed, I gain 10 pounds. I get increased dosage of depression medications, which increases my appetite, I gain another almost 10 pounds. I tell myself I'm not going eat but then for some reason I'm just lying down and I feel almost physically uncomfortable because I hadn't eaten something, and I eat something and I feel a bit better about it and I hate it. I had managed to lose weight despite the medications before; I stuck to a fairly good diet plan and lost 70 pounds (I went down to 140) But now it's just very difficult, I had a meal plan set out for today but I gave up on it when I started to feel uncomfortable late at night at the prospect of not eating. I don't know why I have it, it's not like I'm weak willed because I have managed to lose weight before very easily.[/QUOTE] I was on anti depressants back in middle school and I weighed nearly 200 lbs. I completely took myself off of anti depressants around highschool and it was much easier to control my appetite. If you really need your anti depressants then take them, but tbh they arent for everyone and I was lucky to (partially) learn how to live with my depression un medicated. Im still learning. Currently I'm 120. You can lose weight.

Anyone with Tourette, Asperger and OCD here? Don't want to feel lonely.

anyone remember a time when their self-esteem hadn't been squeezed through a fine mesh

With my current life situation right now, I am starting to wonder if sanity is simply a mask I wear at this point. Got an appointment on the 8th of April regarding a job recommendation, though I will also have to see someone from an employment preparation office that has taken a large toll on my sanity. If I'm honest to myself, the only thing i can do about it is to plan out my last meal. Even in my old job, I simply couldn't catch a break from it because outside the office is a massive lobby that is full of noisy children. One time, I had to leave my workplace through the back door out of fear that I'd kill said children.

I wish I could just go to sleep and die from natural causes

[QUOTE=Turnips5;50026721]anyone remember a time when their self-esteem hadn't been squeezed through a fine mesh[/QUOTE] No this is sad. It's also sad that most of us rely on outside things to give us self esteem. Well I do anyways. I won't be fully confident until I find a girlfriend, or until I lose 10 more pounds.

Christ, I'm far too paranoid about what people think about me, someone could be laughing in the middle of class and I'll instantly think they're laughing at me, or people can be talking with each other and I'll think they're talking shit about me even if they hardly know me. I hate it and I wish I would stop thinking like this.

[QUOTE=kijji;50026248]I'm genuinely curious and it's fine if you don't wanna answer, but how exactly would the UC affect your work?[/QUOTE] Well I don't know how bad UC is so I can't tell you about that. I have IBS and it causes issues with eating, consistency, and discomfort. Thankfully for me it's manageable as long as I keep a proper diet and keep a healthy style. When it does flare up badly though I can't do anything from how much pain it causes. Thankfully for me it's in between 0-2 times a year when it gets like that. I'd guess UC is at least 10X worse. [editline]29th March 2016[/editline] [QUOTE=Unique_mask;50027637]Christ, I'm far too paranoid about what people think about me, someone could be laughing in the middle of class and I'll instantly think they're laughing at me, or people can be talking with each other and I'll think they're talking shit about me even if they hardly know me. I hate it and I wish I would stop thinking like this.[/QUOTE] I use to deal with that, the good news is you can stop those thoughts we some work. As soon as you notice that thought just tell yourself nope I'm overreacting that is not the case. Learn to laugh at yourself as well and know that people generally don't think more than that's a person. Unless you're actually talking to them or did something to give the reason for the laughing.

Well although I do not have any mental issues that I know of I want to take a moment to show some appreciation to the OP for taking the time to make a post like this so I thank you. To anyone who actually has any of the health issues mentioned I hope you're all doing okay and you're free to come to me for help, I don't mind. :smile:

ran out of zyprexa a few days ago and i feel terrible.

Lately I've been dealing with very violent, graphic, intrusive thoughts that keep coming into my head involunteraly when I'm about to go sleep. Like just as I lay down for the night my head starts racing with thoughts that will make me physically tear up sometimes and sometimes these thoughts really scare me. I don't understand, I've never had to deal with this before and I'm scared. Like graphic violent shit will make its way into my mind, and I can get it to stop but It still upsets me. Recently, a few days ago, I found two actual dead seal courpses on the beach and those were all bloody and meaty and stuff and it didn't phase me, not sure if it was that recent experience causing these images to pop up in my head or not. But then it escalates to intrusive thoughts about me getting stabbed or getting killed or crushed under something. Just this feeling of being a helpless frail person. I've been crushed under a large piece of furniture that fell on top of me when I was a little girl and remembered screaming for help for 20 minutes until my dad woke up from his nap and helped me. That thought still pops into my head and it makes me shudder and cry and want to scream. I get scared of drowning even though I still swim, but all because of an experience I had with an undertow pulling me out and having a bull shark brush my leg. I don't know if this is PTSD or what? It would explain why when someone yells and runs at me in a threatening way I freak out and drop to the floor and scream. I need to be tested. That's the one thing I haven't been tested for.

Earlier today I was attempting to reverse into my dad's driveway when someone tried passing me, ended up getting socially anxious and floored it, sliding into a tree. Repairs look like they're gonna cost a whole chunk of change, and while I'm privileged enough to have it paid for, I've essentially detained myself to being super depressed about the whole thing for a good week, probably more. Usually I have video games and videos to watch and take my mind off things, but as soon as something like this happens I can never enjoy that stuff anymore. Am I suffering depression, or am I just sad? That last bit kinda pushes it towards the former, but I dunno- it's not a constant thing I experience, just when bad situations like this happen. I'm seeing my psych about this when it's all said and done just in case, but I kinda want to get all that stuff out.

I found some of my dad's old shit going through the garage. He got shot by some cops when I was like 9. Finding a stash of old pictures and other documents like this is really bringing out my feels. I look so much like him it's terrifying. It's like if my goatee migrated north and I lost some more hair. He never smiled in anything, like he was never happy with anything. [t]http://i.imgur.com/GBrg7n3.png[/t] And it's even weirder how he looks just like [URL="http://www.thegunzone.com/images/william_russell_matix.jpg"]William Russel Matix[/URL], especially considering the circumstances of his death.

so after stalking my aunt's Reddit account, it turns out that my grandma physically abused her and all of her siblings, including my mom. I get why she wouldn't want to tell me about something like that, but damn.

well it seems i've forgotten how to eat and sleep again

[QUOTE=The bird Man;50026429]Anyone with Tourette, Asperger and OCD here? Don't want to feel lonely.[/QUOTE] I'm an Aspie!