Depression, anxiety, suicidalism and similar disorders, issues and troubles V4 - Discussion, help an - General

So I've developed Irritable Bowel Syndrome as a part of anxiety. I've been checked out physically and all that so I'm looking to deal with ways with getting to work in the morning without being 3 hours late. Currently I'm taking some Escitalopram which works well enough at home but I still act up in the mornings going to work or just traveling around in general. I'm debating increasing my intake from 10mg to 20- anyone got any advice regarding that?

I suffer from IBS too. I got prescribed Bently/Dicyclomine to combat my flare ups. I just take it as needed and the worst of my side effects is a little bit of drowsiness and blurry vision. Not terrible. Definitely helps. Ask your doctor about it. Also if you have IBS, my GP suggested antidepressants which can relax the stress receptors in your stomach since a person with IBS is likely to have loads more of them located in your stomach than anywhere else.

IBS sucks, today it's so bad moving is painful and I can't focus on anything. Though thankfully it's due to diet changes so should clear up by tomorrow.

Boy I wish it was that easy to get rid of mine lol.

[QUOTE=Lone Wolf807;50070932]Please don't kill yourself I know it may seem bleak at the moment but know that you're not alone in struggling and I don't want to see someone else die having thought of it before myself, going by pills is an excruciating way to end it, so please again I beg you not to kill yourself. One of my close friends tried to do this and he ended up in the hospital after they found him, he told me that he regretted even thinking of trying to end his life. If you need talk you can PM me, I'm sure other people in this thread can help you too.[/QUOTE] I'll do it another way if I have to, lots of tall buildings and bridges around here. I really can't take anyone's word anymore and I just want to end this. [QUOTE=IJNOMED;50069474] there's a possibility that there could be absolutely nothing after you die. isn't that scary?[/QUOTE] I hope it's actually like this, you don't feel pain, and you won't feel regret or anything too.

[QUOTE=Pascall;50071697]I suffer from IBS too. I got prescribed Bently/Dicyclomine to combat my flare ups. I just take it as needed and the worst of my side effects is a little bit of drowsiness and blurry vision. Not terrible. Definitely helps. Ask your doctor about it. Also if you have IBS, my GP suggested antidepressants which can relax the stress receptors in your stomach since a person with IBS is likely to have loads more of them located in your stomach than anywhere else.[/QUOTE] Oh excellent- I'll bring this up. And yeah, Escitalopram is an anti-depressant which seems to help with stress overall but my guts still ruined in the morning/dealing with transport. Sometimes I'm on the loo for 3 hours and I'm way late for work. Used to be fine when I was in uni to the point where I could rush out of the house at the last second and go to the party way out of the city but now I have to prepare my gut for a 15-30 minute drive.

[QUOTE=fear me;50068735]I honestly think I should just kill myself and be done with it. This has been going on for so long and I just want to stop kidding myself that life will get better and I'll find something to live for. I can't function around people and I doubt I'll be able to hold any job long enough for it to make any kind of a difference. I just want this shit to end, and I'm going to die sooner or later whether by my own hand or not, so why not get it over with? What's 5 seconds of pain from a mortal injury in exchange for an eternity of peace?[/QUOTE] A few years ago I was suicidal. The only thing that kept me from doing it was my family. Try to do it for them, and the future friends you'll get.

[QUOTE=GoldAssassin;50071981] I hope it's actually like this, you don't feel pain, and you won't feel regret or anything too.[/QUOTE] No I'd rather there be a religion of some sort or some sort of reincarnation or SOMETHING. Dare I say it, I'd rather go to hell than just cease to exist because the very thought of just not existing scares me.

[QUOTE=IJNOMED;50073300]No I'd rather there be a religion of some sort or some sort of reincarnation or SOMETHING. Dare I say it, I'd rather go to hell than just cease to exist because the very thought of just not existing scares me.[/QUOTE] No, thank you, i would rather choose to just disappear completely than to be judged by some hypocritical supernatural dude pretending to be kind but easily sending countless people down there to eternal tortures and pain just because they didn't follow his own rules here or Earth. Actually this really reminds me of that type of asshole moderators you can find on most gaming resources.

[QUOTE=fear me;50069610]Have you ever been unconscious? You generally have no idea it happened or that time passed when you wake up, like it just blinked by in less than a second.[/QUOTE] The idea of time and the stream of consciousness are different concepts, you get the idea that time have passed by when events around you don't match your memory bank of previous moments of being aware. [QUOTE=fear me;50069610]That's what I think death is, but forever. You can't tell time is passing.[/QUOTE] If time is based on comparing moments of being conscious, how can there be forever? [QUOTE=fear me;50069610]I don't think that's particularly scary. We were all not alive before we were born.[/QUOTE] We were also not dead when we were alive. Evolution is an ongoing process, time is the evolution of consciousness. Replacing one body in the world with another and they would still serve the same function, just as replacing a brain-cell doesn't change the function of the brain. The energy of consciousness can't stop being conscious, but it can be supported by and support other forms of energy. [editline]5th April 2016[/editline] [QUOTE=IJNOMED;50073300]No I'd rather there be a religion of some sort or some sort of reincarnation or SOMETHING. Dare I say it, I'd rather go to hell than just cease to exist because the very thought of just not existing scares me.[/QUOTE] Existence can't cease to exist or there would be no existence to speak of. The law of conservation of energy tells us that energy can neither be created nor destroyed, only transformed. We associate dead people with "dead behavior" like its some form of indescribable form of consciousness, when in fact, the energy that makes up the form of a body is not the same energy that constitutes consciousness. [editline]5th April 2016[/editline] [QUOTE=The bird Man;50072559]A few years ago I was suicidal. The only thing that kept me from doing it was my family. Try to do it for them, and the future friends you'll get.[/QUOTE] How about doing it for yourself? If your perception of a conscious individual is being a function in a society in which roles are the foundation for existence itself, then the closest thing to your function in the evolution of natural selection will be the next destination of your experience in the world. Rediscover that addiction hurts, no matter what it is aimed towards, heroin or suicidal ideation. Illnesses need immediate treatment.

[QUOTE=Pascall;50071822]Boy I wish it was that easy to get rid of mine lol.[/QUOTE] It's just the pain end that clears up, still constipated lol.

[QUOTE=antianan;50073438]No, thank you, i would rather choose to just disappear completely than to be judged by some hypocritical supernatural dude pretending to be kind but easily sending countless people down there to eternal tortures and pain just because they didn't follow his own rules here or Earth. Actually this really reminds me of that type of asshole moderators you can find on most gaming resources.[/QUOTE] Having an over-indulgent appetite towards video games as a victim to cyclic circumstances provoking an antisocial behavior as a result, is called suffering. [editline]5th April 2016[/editline] If I seem hyper-focused to details it definitely doesn't mean ill-will, I caught myself to be more worked up as a result from heightened levels of stress hormones in my brain. I contemplated on how to stop using drugs and it lead me to thinking about conditioned behavior that are second nature to oneself in general and stopped eating to explore it first hand as a result. Starting to get pretty hungry. [editline]5th April 2016[/editline] I figured that exercising stopping breathing would eventually just render me unconscious.

This is why being agnostic has made me so upset over the years. I don't believe or not believe in a god. Its very strange. I lean towards science but I have some faith that there is a possbility of a god or gods or something, even if after death you just linger on as a ghost or energy or something idk. Or it could very well be nothing which is most likely the case. I dont like to think about it, I'll go insane.

[QUOTE=IJNOMED;50074321]This is why being agnostic has made me so upset over the years. I don't believe or not believe in a god. Its very strange. I lean towards science but I have some faith that there is a possbility of a god or gods or something, even if after death you just linger on as a ghost or energy or something idk. Or it could very well be nothing which is most likely the case. I dont like to think about it, I'll go insane.[/QUOTE] My natural behavior seem to be obsessing about things that people can't form an opinion about, so it pretty much leans against being insane already in my case but nevertheless, the opinion of not having an opinion is closer to the truth than claiming a truth. For example, my view on God is simply an informative statement in general: He does exist, he doesn't exist, both and neither. He does exist because some people have experienced him; He doesn't because some people don't experience him; Both because some people believe in some Gods and doesn't believe in others; Neither because some people are completely unaffected by either condition. Science doesn't refute God though, as faith is a non-scientific exercise. [editline]5th April 2016[/editline] [QUOTE=Solodris;50074247]If I seem hyper-focused to details it definitely doesn't mean ill-will, I caught myself to be more worked up as a result from heightened levels of stress hormones in my brain. I contemplated on how to stop using drugs and it lead me to thinking about conditioned behavior that are second nature to oneself in general and stopped eating to explore it first hand as a result. [/QUOTE] What am I doing? I'm bipolar, I need to eat or I get unstable.

been a super shitty day today when I think back at it. before I went to bed last night I went to the cinema with my friend. went to see Gods of Egypt (terrible movie by the way) but before that we encountered an old friend of ours. or I never really was to close to him, but she was. those two used to be each others best friend and man did I quickly feel replaced, I did get pretty jealous I noticed. I didn't even know you could be jealous like this, but I was. I don't mind her kissing and doing shit with the guy she's seeing but this for some reason bothered me a lot. then I get a message from another close friend who I haven't spoken that much with lately. she started the message saying she didn't want any stress or drama but she was feeling pretty pissed at me since I never contacted her. how she thought we were really good friends but how she apparently was "really fucking wrong?". told me she couldn't have friends who lie to her (???) and are afraid to contact her. I couldn't be bothered to answer there and then so I replied around 2am I believe, saying I understood her, bla bla bla, generally a fairly positively loaded message I'd say. I told her I'd love to reconnect but that it'd be great if we kinda worked together on that as I actually am afraid to contact her since she has always rejected me in the past when I've asked. told her it'd be great if she helped out, that she could tell me another day she was vacant if she were to say no for example. she saw the message the day after but didn't actually reply until several hours had passed, and what did she write? she added a thumbsup and a smiley face. like come on, if I really was such a good friend of her wouldn't she acknowledge the shit I wrote so we could work this out? why is she complaining about me never contacting her when she shows no effort to reconnect? so back to the present, we were still hanging with that other guy. I felt really excluded so I just walked in front of them in my own world while walking towards the cinema. they didn't make much effort of involving me at all which hurt. I really felt replaced. we get into the cinema, we get some food, she goes for a toilet break so I talk with the guy. I don't mind him, I like him a lot, I just feel that my friend isn't very good at properly balancing the attention she gives out and makes little effort to involve me. then she comes back after some time (at the time I didn't know, but she did actually post a selfie of herself in the bathroom that she added to her story, captioned "Cinema soon! :D With the very best PredGD :D" which was really nice to see afterwards) and this other guy left. we get into the cinema and I feel like I need to talk, so out of nowhere I ask her if it's cool if I stay at her place for the night since I was feeling pretty upset. I wasn't actually able to get this out since I had some issues keeping the tears back which she noticed, so I just told her we could talk about it afterwards once I managed to keep my calm. then we watched the movie, we commented the movie and my mood was lifted again. we never actually talked about the thing about me feeling replaced, but I did mention that my other friend had sent me that message. talked some of it but not too much. then we go to bed, and I wake up once to her missing from bed which is okay, she was just getting ready for the day afterall. then I wake up again to her doing the dishes which was annoying since it was soo loud. then I fall asleep yet again, just to wake up to her RGB strip strobing through every color while her blasting music. what a shitty start to the day, especially when I only slept for 6 hours after having been awake for 40+ hours the day before. I take the train home and planned to chill for the day. some hours pass and I'm just not able to stay awake anymore, so I hit the bed only to sleep for 1 hour as my friend who I had slept at called me. she wanted to meet me again so I tell her sure. even grumpier now, I take the train back to town. it was okay I suppose, we hung out for some time and the rest of the day was okay at best. oh and, the girl that sent that message replied around this time with the thumbs up and smiley. [URL="https://facepunch.com/showthread.php?t=1506363&p=50076260&viewfull=1#post50076260"]this also happened, but I think I'll link it instead of making this post even longer. I never explode into anger like this, but this just set me off. yelling and cursing in public, embarrassing afterwards.[/URL]

[QUOTE=Xenophobia;50077359]I've been wondering something lately. How do people have the energy to [I]care[/I] for things? Like every day I see people around me spend their time and energy trying to fix, avoid, keep or accomplish something, and to me, it just looks like way too much work. Just how do people go on doing all this. Where do you even get the energy to do this? I can't bring myself to care about politics, matters of faith, friends/family, hobbies or even my own well being most of the times. I don't do things because I care about them, I do things because it leads to less hassle for others in the moment or because I don't want to be bored. I don't feel the need to do anything basically. I know what the society wants me to do, I know what people expect me to do, and I know of all the oppertunitys I could take, but I just can't bring myself to care enough to do anything about it. I just don't see the point of doing anything really. I'm just another spec of dust that won't have any effect on this world, I could easily be replaced with any other person on this planet in any situation and no one would feel any negative repercussions from it. Things are the way they are, even if they do change from time to time. But in the long run, does it even matter? We are just meatbags moving around this planet aimlessly without any goal besides keeping our race alive, and even then we are doing a shit job at that. So how? How do people even care?[/QUOTE] The saying goes, that the most caring and giving people in the world, tend to get hurt the most.

caring for other people never really got me anything to be honest.

[QUOTE=Systema;50078996]caring for other people never really got me anything to be honest.[/QUOTE] It's not so much the caring part but the observation of suffering that, when mindful, you draw conclusions about what it means to be in a certain psychological state and how it affects your behavior. We see that changing our behavior towards more beneficial results can be liberating in a sense that pertains to the mind. Fighting greed with renunciation, desire with patience, jealousy with ethics and pride with wisdom. It becomes a path of inner liberation. If the understanding behind these methods are lacking, then one would most likely withdraw until self views are rediscovered. This is why caring people are hurt the most, they lose their sense of identity when rejected.

my procrastination always proves to ruin schedules and plans

[QUOTE=Qaus;50079373]my procrastination always proves to ruin schedules and plans[/QUOTE] That's an intelligent observation. The next step is to monitor your feelings towards the idea of breaking procrastination, to simply discover your natural mental attitude that would make the plans more meaningful than the procrastination itself. Understanding that an act of performance is distressing and finding ways to let go is more useful. You switch the addiction.

That's a very long-winded way of saying "don't do that anymore".

[QUOTE=Qaus;50079555]That's a very long-winded way of saying "don't do that anymore".[/QUOTE] Well, it's a complicated process, you can't just not do something that's been conditioned. It needs cognitive behavioral reprogramming. In 1963, a buddhist monk burnt himself to death in protest without moving or making a sound, that's the power of mindfulness. He was so unconditioned that pain didn't produce a reaction other than falling over when dying. That's the art of letting go.

I ask for a day off work to hang out with a friend of mine, only for aformentioned friend to stand me up. Fuck my life.

I am such a idiot. First I wasn't getting the support I needed. Then when I finally get the support I need, and people being so bloody lovely, caring, looking out for me, taking me to things, even as crazy as giving me money so I can do something I enjoy, I just ruin it by thinking that I knew best during a therapy session where I didnt think a tiny section of it related to me, when it did and I just was a selfish pr*ck. Now I have messed up everything, and lost the people who have been absolutely amazing towards me, and who aren't even my family because my family aren't helping very much. It's a complicated situation, because I just messed it all up. It feels like there's no solution, when really I know that I need to just get my ass in gear, and take things more seriously, and not be too laid back about it and thinking that it might be a quick fix. However, things are super hard to work with when I have been waiting for a month to be seen by a psychiatrist, and I have no idea what is wrong with me. That is a lot to be on my shoulders, and it is frustrating because I cannot find the most effective treatments until I know exactly what is wrong with me. It feels like I am going round in circles, and that I am just ruining everything for those around me (mainly those who have tried to help me). I love those people who have tried to help me so much, and I have just made them feel worthless because of my stupid arrogance in my own ideas. I can go to therapy and pay attention, but I don't think I will ever be able to make this up to them. I have let them all down, and myself down. I cannot keep putting people through this, it isn't fair.

Due to my current location and my anxiety with complex transportation, I am forced to taking online classes for university. We will be moving soon, it's a long overdue move because there is nothing here for anyone here. Father is far away from work, there are no jobs here except specialty jobs and tech support handled by a terribly run company, and the university is about 3-4 hours away by public transportation. I'm panicking right now because the classes that I registered for have disgusting large waitlists. I'm ~40 in one important course, when the class size is supposed to be 25. I don't know how that class' waitlist system works, but that either means that there are 64 kids in front of me or 40 kids in front of me, both well over the class size limit. I take these courses for 2 reasons, to actually get a well paying job that I feel happy doing in the future, and to appease my seemingly disappointed father. The last reason is probably the most important thing because it is a contributing factor to my depression and anxiety.

[QUOTE=Systema;50078996]caring for other people never really got me anything to be honest.[/QUOTE] We all need to put ourselves first everyday before anyone else, for it is a necessity. It is NOT selfish, it is self-care.

I feel sick and uncomfortable and i'm a mess right now

[QUOTE=Solodris;50079585]Well, it's a complicated process, you can't just not do something that's been conditioned. It needs cognitive behavioral reprogramming. In 1963, a buddhist monk burnt himself to death in protest without moving or making a sound, that's the power of mindfulness. He was so unconditioned that pain didn't produce a reaction other than falling over when dying. That's the art of letting go.[/QUOTE] when you break it down procrastination as we tend to talk about it is really just choosing to not do that thing for whatever reason, under the guise of doing it later so if we stop thinking of procrastination as a behaviour we actively engage in, and see it for what it is in it's most immediate sense, minus all the justifications and excuses, it's really just choosing to not do that thing true procrastination is the postponement of a task but with the responsibility to act on it, but how often do we call that real, justified postponing of something 'procrastination'? I realize this is a redundant kinda breakdown of what it is and what not but depending on how you perceive what procrastination actually is, viewing it from the core of the decision making can help you start taking action on it and stop giving yourself that excuse of 'there's always time later'

[QUOTE=D0C H.;48578741]I'm pretty sure my wife has bi Polar disorder. I feel alienated all the time now. She makes me uncomfortable when she's manic[/QUOTE] Women, am I right? Edit: Too soon?

no it's just a bad post