Depression, anxiety, suicidalism and similar disorders, issues and troubles V4 - Discussion, help an - General

[QUOTE=PredGD;50232720]I feel so boring to be around. I see others who are having a blast and messing around, while I'm more of a talker than that. I enjoy conversing about more "serious" stuff I guess, just talking, not messing around while making a big number with a ton of jokes or lots of body language. don't really like that since it makes me feel really boring when for example drinking.[/QUOTE] You can't help who you are as a person, if you don't feel like you're meshing well with the people youre talking to, then maybe you should be talking to other people.

[QUOTE=Bathtub;50232811]You can't help who you are as a person, if you don't feel like you're meshing well with the people youre talking to, then maybe you should be talking to other people.[/QUOTE] I'm thinking the same, there's so little I can do about this. I feel like I'm causing a lot of stress on myself by being with people I don't really go that well with.

[QUOTE=PredGD;50232862]I'm thinking the same, there's so little I can do about this. I feel like I'm causing a lot of stress on myself by being with people I don't really go that well with.[/QUOTE] You are. It's probably going to be tough but finding the right friends is one of the best feelings in the world.

I really miss simpler times in general. 2012 and prior. I even miss 2013 and 2014, even though I spent the majority of both years in complete isolation where I literally never left the house. I barely left my room. as of now there's just so many things that stresses me out compared to then which I handle poorly. I have to balance social relations now. I'm shuffling an economy around now. I have to make the government happy by following their activity plan so I can keep getting money. there's expenses. I have to go to a psychologist (they came to me back then). food stresses me out as I can't eat that much. sleep is completely dysfunctional, and even though it was that back then too, I also have more of a life now which requires this stuff to work. there's basic every-day tasks which also becomes stressful. I need more clothes but that too costs money. there's just so much compared to then. back then, I just slept, felt indifferent about everything, ate and went back to sleep. I was severely depressed, now I'm just depressed and severely stressed.

I am tired all the time and I sleep so much

I guess ill post it here because it bothers me so damn much[QUOTE=MrJazzy;50235293]I wish i spoke more foreign languages of those who are in poverty and war. I wish I could help those fleeing these issues. I want to use my knowledge, my skills and talents to help those with no oppurtinities. I work in the restuarant business and so i am used to difficult people but i want to help people in need in the same way, but not fucking tourists, i want to help and serve people who actually need the help [editline]1st May 2016[/editline] I am just not sure how to make a living off of it, and i work minimum wage, so there you know, immigrants and refugees dont get special treatment, its still european tourists who get the best service[/QUOTE]

[QUOTE=Bathtub;50232876]You are. It's probably going to be tough but finding the right friends is one of the best feelings in the world.[/QUOTE] I think I have found a right friend for me but I feel like I'm not the right friend for anyone. Even when he explicitly tells me that I'm okay, something in my mind just ain't having it. AND IM RIGHT FUCKING SICK OF THST SHIT AND K JUST HSVE NO IDEA WHAT THE FUCK TO DO ABOUT IT ANYMKRE [editline]1st May 2016[/editline] I think I ranted for more than half an hour in some gmod server yesterday, partially in an intoxicated rage, because I'm fed up with feeling like this

so I just worked out how much longer it'll take for NHS specialist services to get back to me and it'll be in just under a week im having a shitty weekend and i don't want to take 4fmph to get these course assignments done but idk

Fuck it Tonight I'm going to end my life. I've lost everything that made me happy. Goodbye.

[QUOTE=Shaohs;50237022]Fuck it Tonight I'm going to end my life. I've lost everything that made me happy. Goodbye.[/QUOTE] What happened? Do you want to talk about it?

Goddamnit. I cant bring myself to do it. I just want my life to reset my entire life

i'm having a hard time dealing with being alone for 11 days all i do is get up and stare at my tv all day

-snip-

Might get fired from my second job due to me failing at everything I try to do. If this happens I'm just gonna end it all as its the last drop in the ocean of crap I have been carrying around the past three years.

[QUOTE=coyote93;50245669]How do I tell if I got a alcohol problem? I have been drinking more than usual the last year, and I got nothing against drinking alone, but I don't HAVE to drink each day. Its just that when I do drink, shit gets so much easier. A friend of mine are trying to get me to stop, but I'm not sure I agree with her on the fact that some drinking now and then actually is a problem.[/QUOTE] heavy drinking is heavy drinking. being a functional drinker is what makes it a big difference. it tends to bite your ass a few years down the road though, it isn't very healthy to be drinking all the time

so sick of putting up with my family's bullshit. every single time they get upset or in a bad mood they decide "hey why not take it out on stephen that's a good idea". since i was 10 i have been putting up with their shit and they won't even admit they do take their anger out on me, always the "oh but i'm not perfect" excuse. well no shit you're not perfect but you can at least have some fucking self-control i bring up my suicidal thoughts to my brother and he has the gall to say if i do it i'm a coward and it's selfish to kill myself. well hey dude maybe when the going gets too rough i won't give a shit i'm tired of being a punching bag for my family when they're angry, i need help coping with that garbage. yes i have tried talking back to them when they take it out, but get angry because "you're not supposed to talk back to me"

[QUOTE=MissingNoGuy;50246484]so sick of putting up with my family's bullshit. every single time they get upset or in a bad mood they decide "hey why not take it out on stephen that's a good idea". since i was 10 i have been putting up with their shit and they won't even admit they do take their anger out on me, always the "oh but i'm not perfect" excuse. well no shit you're not perfect but you can at least have some fucking self-control i bring up my suicidal thoughts to my brother and he has the gall to say if i do it i'm a coward and it's selfish to kill myself. well hey dude maybe when the going gets too rough i won't give a shit i'm tired of being a punching bag for my family when they're angry, i need help coping with that garbage. yes i have tried talking back to them when they take it out, but get angry because "you're not supposed to talk back to me"[/QUOTE] The only thing I found that will solve that is leave, as I've tried a ton of other things and none of it worked.

[QUOTE=DELL;50246675]The only thing I found that will solve that is leave, as I've tried a ton of other things and none of it worked.[/QUOTE]that may be my only choice, but i'll have to buckle in and cope with it until an opportunity arises

I think I will never have a normal life I can't cope with normal everyday things. It is painful to think about the future because I can only realistically envision myself homeless if I continue living

[QUOTE=burgerdemon;50247187]I think I will never have a normal life I can't cope with normal everyday things. It is painful to think about the future because I can only realistically envision myself homeless if I continue living[/QUOTE] This is exactly how I feel about my future as well. I don't see any endgame for me except dying alone, broke and in the streets.

[QUOTE=coyote93;50245669]How do I tell if I got a alcohol problem? I have been drinking more than usual the last year, and I got nothing against drinking alone, but I don't HAVE to drink each day. Its just that when I do drink, shit gets so much easier. A friend of mine are trying to get me to stop, but I'm not sure I agree with her on the fact that some drinking now and then actually is a problem.[/QUOTE] It depends on how much you're drinking and how often. I had a drinking problem last year and would drink all day everyday even going to work after drinking because i couldn't cope and my depression was so bad. I haven't had a drink in a few months now though.

I tried to take an AP computer science exam. It cos t me a lot of money, too much for my family. I didn't know a fucking thing in it. It's literally like me and my classmates were taking fake java classes all year. This is what happens when i try overachieving :c

I dont know what to do with my life right now. Ever since i got fired from my job and my ex broke up with my late last year i feel like im back to square one. Im back at my mums place, unemployed and the only thing i got going for me is im in a good relationship at last. Im 22, ive spent the last 5 years at uni and i dont even want to go into IT anymore. Im failing my courses again this semester after doing so well for the past 2 years but ive just lost all interest. I dont have enough experience or qualifications to get a good job, im uninterested in the career path im studying for and all i want to do is follow my hobbies of programming games and writing music. But i cant turn any money out of those unless i finish uni or stop going. Im so far in and my debt is already so high but i still have another semester after this one, and probably another one because im gonna fail another course this semster. Im supposed to be an adult but i just want someone to tell me what to do so i dont have to worry about my future anymore.

well my car was totaled and i get absolutely nothing now i have no idea what to do. awesome!

[QUOTE=Pascall;50249985]well my car was totaled and i get absolutely nothing now i have no idea what to do. awesome![/QUOTE] How come you get absolutely nothing?

I owed more on the car than it was ultimately worth. So my gap insurance only pays what I owed. Doesn't give me anything.

[QUOTE=Pascall;50250198]I owed more on the car than it was ultimately worth. So my gap insurance only pays what I owed. Doesn't give me anything.[/QUOTE] Ouch :(

yeah it's not good. I upped the limit on my gofundme so if anyone wants the link to that, you can message me on steam since I don't wanna clutter up this thread with it.

I just fading and fading. Becoming less and less and more withered by the day. It too late to be able to reverse any thing. Drastic physical changes. This is bullshit.

Seeing people (way) younger than me achieve many and better things more than I have ever did, or have ever done, and probably ever will, makes me want to kill myself.