Depression, anxiety, suicidalism and similar disorders, issues and troubles V4 - Discussion, help an - General

While we're on this topic, it's worthwhile to note that juice is pretty terrible too. The sugar content is insane. [editline]6th May 2016[/editline] Just do what I do and drink ungodly amounts of tea.

[QUOTE=AtomicSans;50269537]While we're on this topic, it's worthwhile to note that juice is pretty terrible too. The sugar content is insane.[/QUOTE] if you have a choice, freshly squeezed is always better than the packaged stuff, but the packaged stuff isnt necessarily any better than soft drinks, and measurably winds up often being worse in terms of sugar content.

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[QUOTE=Tobin;50269573]I cant give up sugar I go through awful withdrawals[/QUOTE]I actually recommend sticking through it and completely giving up all sugar for like two months. It's terrible, but when you're done, you barely want sugar at all and it makes you feel sick very quickly. I keep myself in a sugar-averse state most of the year (excluding Christmas) and it does wonders for my eating habits.

[QUOTE=Tobin;50269573]I cant give up sugar I go through awful withdrawals[/QUOTE] it's hard but possible, as long as you understand that you dont have to go cold turkey all at once, unless you're afraid that you're not going to give it up ever unless you go cold turkey. The biggest step forward is to start tapering off the amount of sugar in your diet, then go for less in the way of refined sugars, processed foods and snack foods. Experiment with sugar substitutes and eat fruit, if you truly need some sweet flavors in your food without the trouble actual sugar might bring. Drinking lots of water is an essential as well, as people eat sugary foods when they're actually thirsty instead. Another thing to consider would be exercise or other physical activity, whenever you feel sugar cravings coming on.

Is there a test or something you can do to check for brain damage Cause in school I hated myself so much that smacked my head on the nearest hard surface repeatedly and/or punched myself until I got dizzy every other day and it's a wonder I'm still alive It's probably the main reason why my hands are always shaky and why I'm so clumsy and awkward

Milk helps too. It's surprisingly sweet and it has a sort of "thick" quality that makes it very satisfying to drink.

[QUOTE=fear me;50269617]Is there a test or something you can do to check for brain damage Cause in school I hated myself so much that smacked my head on the nearest hard surface repeatedly and/or punched myself until I got dizzy every other day and it's a wonder I'm still alive It's probably the main reason why my hands are always shaky and why I'm so clumsy and awkward[/QUOTE] or like maybe i'm just a worthless piece of shit, i mean it's kind of obvious innit

[QUOTE=fear me;50269617]Is there a test or something you can do to check for brain damage Cause in school I hated myself so much that smacked my head on the nearest hard surface repeatedly and/or punched myself until I got dizzy every other day and it's a wonder I'm still alive It's probably the main reason why my hands are always shaky and why I'm so clumsy and awkward[/QUOTE]See a doctor?

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[video=youtube;_hHDxlm66dE]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_hHDxlm66dE[/video] at 16 y/o me IDK FAM :suicide: [editline]6th May 2016[/editline] what's so great about life anyways, why bother i never asked to be born anyways it just kind of happened

I got an email from my prospective university [QUOTE]Thank you for including Allegheny on your list of colleges. Allegheny College received a number of applications from very talented students, and while your application impressed our admissions committee, because of space limitations you were placed on our Waiting List. We have not yet received word from you about your interest in being contacted if we have room to invite students to join us this fall.[/QUOTE] omg omg omg aaaa my parents don't know still holy [I]shit[/I]

[QUOTE=kijji;50269949]I got an email from my prospective university omg omg omg aaaa my parents don't know still holy [I]shit[/I][/QUOTE]Not to rain on your parade or anything, but it's pretty rare that waitlisted applicants ever get in, as far as I'm aware.

[QUOTE=AtomicSans;50269980]Not to rain on your parade or anything, but it's pretty rare that waitlisted applicants ever get in, as far as I'm aware.[/QUOTE] I'm interested in going in the spring anyways, I didn't even apply :v: [editline]6th May 2016[/editline] [QUOTE=kijji;50269949]I got an email from my prospective university omg omg omg aaaa my parents don't know still holy [I]shit[/I][/QUOTE] This was sent to me in error, apparently :(

[QUOTE=Tobin;50269573]I cant give up sugar I go through awful withdrawals[/QUOTE] It's difficult to "give up" on sugar anyway, considering it's in just about everything we consume :v:

[QUOTE=fear me;50269617]Is there a test or something you can do to check for brain damage Cause in school I hated myself so much that smacked my head on the nearest hard surface repeatedly and/or punched myself until I got dizzy every other day and it's a wonder I'm still alive It's probably the main reason why my hands are always shaky and why I'm so clumsy and awkward[/QUOTE] See your GP who can recommend things like brain scans/tests to make sure you don't have any physical issues. Write down your concerns and questions before you go to your appointment. Not much else you can do, but those tests will get expensive. Make sure you have some form of health insurance, otherwise it might not be worth it. [editline]6th May 2016[/editline] [QUOTE=AtomicSans;50269629]Milk helps too. It's surprisingly sweet and it has a sort of "thick" quality that makes it very satisfying to drink.[/QUOTE] Careful with milk though. There tends to be quite a bit of sugar in some brands of it too.

on the topic of soda, I've always been an avid lover of Pepsi Max. quite literally, my mother has loved this shit too ever since I was born and even earlier than that so I was introduced quite early. always drank it. I've drunk one 1.5L bottle a day for years now, and there has been periods where I've drank a 4 pack a day (6L!!!) for months on end. I still drink 1-3 bottles a day which I don't like but it's hard to cut out a habit that has followed me my entire life. but! regular soda, full of sugar and calories. diet soda, full of sugar but no calories. pepsi max? no sugar and no calories. there's aspartame (or splenda if they've changed yet?) but apparently this stuff is pretty safe. of course I suffer from very high magnesium levels and a caffeine addiction due to this, but other than that, how bad is Pepsi Max for you which contains zero sugar and zero calories?

1-3 bottles a day holy shit. That's still a SHITload dude. Sorbitol/artificial sweeteners can fuck up your stomach.

[QUOTE=Pascall;50272184]1-3 bottles a day holy shit. That's still a SHITload dude. Sorbitol/artificial sweeteners can fuck up your stomach.[/QUOTE] it's definitely a shitload still! I try to limit my intake to 1 bottle a day, but it's not always as easy. I drink these bottles in under 1 hour and suddenly I have to control my intake for the rest of the day too which isn't too easy. literally crave it until the impulse wins. what kind of complications are you talking about? permanent, temporary, dangerous?

Not permanently but sorbitol is used as a laxative. Definitely gives you a bad time if consumed too much.

[QUOTE=Pascall;50272236]Not permanently but sorbitol is used as a laxative. Definitely gives you a bad time if consumed too much.[/QUOTE] you mention sorbitol but I'm not able to find this in Pepsi Max. I read that they were changing in August last year from aspartame to splenda, but on these brand new bottles it still says aspartame on the label. is this a more hidden chemical that's not labelled? but yeah, I've had some embarrassing struggles with that for a long time which alone is a big reason to quit, but not an easy task heh. always read that it's the magnesium as magnesium acts as a laxative in high enough doses which Pepsi Max contains. caffeine also has an effect on this if I recall correctly, 400mg+ doses of it.

Doesn't look like there's any sorbitol, but apparently aspartame is a culprit of causing headaches and triggering migraines.

I can personally attest to that cutting out soda does wonders to weight loss. And once you've gone on without excess sugar; overly sugary foods and drinks start to even taste mildly disgusting :v:

I have a question for anyone else who was diagnosed with BPD. Do you have a core personality or is it really everywhere? As I've grown to question the diagnoses I was once given as I no longer meet any of the symptoms and I was in abusive relationship when I was diagnosed. Though I do have about 8 different people in my head yet we all just work together as one. Which I think that might of been due to all the drugs that I can't seem to get them into one at this point. As well as I got ADHD diagnoses which pretty much once that was medicated completely got rid of emotional regulation problems out right, now that I'm on meds that don't cause awful side effects. So the only symptoms I have are mild hallucinations and the not being able to get the fragmented parts of my personality to merge with the core. Which I'm starting to think it's more of shizo thing as my aunt has it pretty bad. Though as my psychiatrist there is no way you can have any sort of shizo thing as you can tell reality apart from any hallucination and can self correct/ignore any sort of disorganized thoughts. Which he then just put it under borderline personality disorder which sorta makes sense as I seem to be both psychotic yet neurotic at the exact same time. Though as far I've ever looked their is nothing I can match being psychotic yet neurotic to the point where I can function completely fine in psychosis. Which is pretty much a daily thing yet causes me no impairment in function outside of incorrect emotional response to things at times. Which the only time that's a problem is when bad things happen I tend to laugh uncontrollably. The rest of my emotions are completely in check. Aw fuck it I'm just gonna assume I have permanent damage(On a mental level) from all the drugs, woops. On another note at least I can say for certain that that BPD is no longer an issue for me.

Does anyone have any tips to stop gaming so much? I spend most of my days playing league, and it seems like a waste of time. I feel like I should be doing more productive things than playing league all day, and I figure that if I stop gaming so much I'll eventually find other things to do.

I swear Every time time I think I'm okay and I'm moving forward towards something I have a day like today where I feel so broken and empty One of the things I'll never forget my ex saying about me was that "Its not her job to keep me sane anymore" and it stung at the time so deeply because I realize I really don't know how to be happy on my own self worth Just the other day I had one of my friends in near tears because she was desperately trying to figure out why I can't like myself I didn't have an answer for her and I wish there were steps you can take to find that happiness you know

[QUOTE=DELL;50272367] Aw fuck it I'm just gonna assume I have permanent damage(On a mental level) from all the drugs, woops. On another note at least I can say for certain that that BPD is no longer an issue for me.[/QUOTE] Because you mentioned fragmented parts of personality I'm wondering if you have ever talked about possibility of dissociative identitity disorder. What kind of hallucinations do you have? Are they related to your fragmented parts? Merging them is possible with specialized trauma therapists.

Getting closer and closer to just giving up playing videogames. The days that I do enjoy it and play them well are absolutely amazing and I wish they'd never last, but they're outnumbered by days where I just play for 5 or so minutes, get frustrated/mad, then quit. Hell I want to just giving up using my computer altogether. I've spent the past 9 odd years straight waking up to turning my computer on, playing videogames or just browsing the internet. It's so completely destroyed my energy, creativity and enjoyment of life, and ever since I suffered encephalitis I've just been using it as a giant crutch to avoid un-fucking my brain. But then I realise I've got nothing else. Practically nothing. I gave up drawing, I avoid creating stories, I have no real hobbies now except my computer and games. Worst part is all of my friends are over the internet. If I cut it out I'm pretty much alone. I want to go cold turkey so damn hard. But the last time I was away from the computer for more than 5 days I forgot how to type on my damn keyboard. I panicked, because without this computer I have nothing, because I spent all my time doing nothing else. God damn that's depressing.

I feel extremely frustrated, hate, and angry at myself for not being good at anything. All while other people is succeeding, have multiple talents, have a quite balanced life or even a fair life as a whole, even those who are at my age or even younger than me. I think I'll just give up drawing, I've been drawing for years and I've never improved or go to the intermediate level, I have some friends who I like to draw with, and know some people who are younger than me who draws that improve at such an unbelievable rate, and that's not the only thing that they're good at, while I'm just here without any improvement at all nor any other skill. Every time I try to do something it's never good enough. No success, nothing good to say about me. I feel like after I graduate I'll just be useless.

Improvement is not on a set timeline. I've been pretty stagnant with my art as well, to the point where it's frustrating. But stopping doing art altogether definitely won't help. I'm building skills slowly and doing things I enjoy doing rather than doing them for the sake of being better or at the same level as someone else. Maybe that means I end up drawing the same character a million times in a million different ways, but that's what I like to do. I try not to hold myself up to the same deadlines as other people in literally anything I do. It doesn't help my improvement, it only hinders it. You have to shake the idea that if you're not as successful as this other person by x amount of years, that you're a failure. Doesn't work that way. Otherwise, people who spend several years in college because they have to work and go to school would be failures by default just because they're moving slower than other people. I can understand the feeling of frustration, but every now and again you have to remember that people grow at their own pace. Not every baby learns how to walk or talk at the same time. Not every kid his puberty at the same time and not every teenager learns how to drive or even graduates high school at the same time. People have different lives, priorities, and circumstances. If everyone were on the same track, it'd be pretty boring. I don't feel like I have any one great talent either, so it helps to kind of just roll with whatever comes your way. Have a backup plan job that'll sustain you in the meantime - example: I'm getting my teaching certificate so I can teach for a while until I really find what I want to do - and see what happens as you enter different, more basic opportunities. It'll take time and patience and it'll get frustrating when you feel stagnant. But it doesn't mean you're not still growing. [QUOTE=Weirdness;50275249]Getting closer and closer to just giving up playing videogames. The days that I do enjoy it and play them well are absolutely amazing and I wish they'd never last, but they're outnumbered by days where I just play for 5 or so minutes, get frustrated/mad, then quit. Hell I want to just giving up using my computer altogether. I've spent the past 9 odd years straight waking up to turning my computer on, playing videogames or just browsing the internet. It's so completely destroyed my energy, creativity and enjoyment of life, and ever since I suffered encephalitis I've just been using it as a giant crutch to avoid un-fucking my brain. But then I realise I've got nothing else. Practically nothing. I gave up drawing, I avoid creating stories, I have no real hobbies now except my computer and games. Worst part is all of my friends are over the internet. If I cut it out I'm pretty much alone. I want to go cold turkey so damn hard. But the last time I was away from the computer for more than 5 days I forgot how to type on my damn keyboard. I panicked, because without this computer I have nothing, because I spent all my time doing nothing else. God damn that's depressing.[/QUOTE] Should try and find something that combines a knowledge of gaming and computer usage to your benefit. Spend some time on Youtube looking up tutorials for different things that might pique your interest. It's not the equivalent of a degree or anything, but you can definitely learn a ton of things. Art tutorials, DIY building tutorials, car maintenance, programming, engineering, game development or production. You want to use what you're already familiar with to further your knowledge in something else that you may be interested in. A lot of times I just sort of wander around on Youtube and see what's there, as far as instructional videos go. Now I'm getting into ICD-10 medical coding because it's something you can easily learn online and it can get you a very well paying temporary job that you can possibly even do from home which would definitely fit my current lifestyle since I'm going to school. You don't have to go cold turkey to feel like you're doing something useful. You just have to use your resources productively.