Depression, anxiety, suicidalism and similar disorders, issues and troubles V4 - Discussion, help an - General

[QUOTE=IJNOMED;50374396]Is it bad that I know almost exacty what you're going through? Dude manipulative, controlling, narcisistic parents/family are the absolute worst. There's a whole sub-reddit for narcisistic parents like ours. (and others) TBH I might join reddit and contribute to that thread (if its still around) [editline]23rd May 2016[/editline] Or on second thought I'm gonna avoid reddit because I don't understand how it works. [editline]23rd May 2016[/editline] [url]https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/[/url] found it [editline]23rd May 2016[/editline] This article here [url]http://www.bandbacktogether.com/adult-children-of-Narcissistic-parents-resources/[/url] Oh my god it makes so much sense. I'm not crazy. This is an ACTUAL thing that people go through.[/QUOTE] I want to state that the raisedbynarcissists subreddit is a highly supportive subreddit and is heavily moderated. They're a support group and people aren't allowed to be jerks there. I used to lurk it for the longest time because I wanted to read about other experiences and figure out what the fuck my parents were like.

[QUOTE=Firecat;50368987]you'll start passing out, hair will fall out[/QUOTE] oh that explains a lot

Why would you ever starve yourself that sounds so painful

it is painful and in my case involuntary. i rarely experience hunger, instead relying on the emergency body tells when i'm running on fumes to gauge how hungry i am. things like dizzyness, weird changes in perception in regards to hearing and temperature, and the color of my fingernails to list a few.

Nothing like having a funeral [I]and[/I] the whole family getting a viral infection during that.

[QUOTE=SoftHearted;50375382]You posted about this many times before but I need to ask. (Since it might be my last chance before you won't be able to connect to the internet anymore or something due to not having a place to stay) Why are you in this situation right now? Why is your grandfather kicking you out when you have nowhere else to go? With you being 18 no less. I know you might have explained this before in another thread a long time ago. But I can't help but be curious as to why your family is treating you this way.[/QUOTE] They're narcisistic parents, super judgemental, homophobic and racist. They suspect I'm gay but they give off the vibe that they aren't certain. Recently over the past year or so I've become vocal about my political opinions that differ from theirs, and I refuse to get married to a man like they keep telling me to do. They expect me to cook and clean and dress girly and become a housewife. They want me to be a housewife. I do not want to be a housewife. They want me to take care of them and clean up after them all. They are hateful towards me because they also have a firm belief that anyone with any mental disability (be it depression, down syndrome, etc.) should be "locked up and ethunized" (basically put down like sickly animals) When I was diagnosed with anxiety/depression at age 7 they started to treat me like a mental patient. I've been beaten (rarely) and screamed at (often) because I would cry at school when I was picked on (for stuttering a lot) My parents would tell me "WHY CANT WE HAVE A NORMAL CHILD?!" and "ILL PUT YOU IN A HOME FOR DISABLED PSHYCHOS!" It's so fucked up it enrages anyone I vent to. [editline]23rd May 2016[/editline] etc. it's 2016 and my entire family is stuck in the 60's. They all live close together in the same areas/same buildings, they're the kind of people that refuse to let their kids live their own life. They expect the kids to be an accesory at a young age, a caretaker, and a babymaker... and nothing more.

[QUOTE=IJNOMED;50377535]They're narcisistic parents, super judgemental, homophobic and racist. They suspect I'm gay but they give off the vibe that they aren't certain. Recently over the past year or so I've become vocal about my political opinions that differ from theirs, and I refuse to get married to a man like they keep telling me to do. They expect me to cook and clean and dress girly and become a housewife. They want me to be a housewife. I do not want to be a housewife. They want me to take care of them and clean up after them all. They are hateful towards me because they also have a firm belief that anyone with any mental disability (be it depression, down syndrome, etc.) should be "locked up and ethunized" (basically put down like sickly animals) When I was diagnosed with anxiety/depression at age 7 they started to treat me like a mental patient. I've been beaten (rarely) and screamed at (often) because I would cry at school when I was picked on (for stuttering a lot) My parents would tell me "WHY CANT WE HAVE A NORMAL CHILD?!" and "ILL PUT YOU IN A HOME FOR DISABLED PSHYCHOS!" It's so fucked up it enrages anyone I vent to. [editline]23rd May 2016[/editline] etc. it's 2016 and my entire family is stuck in the 60's. They all live close together in the same areas/same buildings, they're the kind of people that refuse to let their kids live their own life. They expect the kids to be an accesory at a young age, a caretaker, and a babymaker... and nothing more.[/QUOTE] Jeez that does suck. How is the job and house search going for getting out of there?

[QUOTE=spog;50378044]Jeez that does suck. How is the job and house search going for getting out of there?[/QUOTE] I had a job cleaning houses for about a month and I lost it because I couldn't remember stuff. I was paid under the table though so I don't have to worry about taxes

Hi all, I've been putting off posting in here for some time now. (I'm a chronic procrastinator.) But a friend recommended I post this, so here goes. -I'm 19, MtF. -I live at home (do not wish to go to uni). -I live a double life to please a conservative family. -I have depression and social anxiety. -My girlfriend of 2.5yrs broke up with me on the 10th. I didn't expect it and it's hit me hard. (I won't go into detail about the relationship). We're in the cooling off phase of not talking for a while and it's broken my routined nature. -Since the 10th I have had consistent bad dreams often featuring my ex. This is making me worry about sleep. -I have few friends. I've broken many bridges because I find it very difficult to engage in social situations and ended up not attending friends' events (despite my ex going). -I strongly dislike my work (retail) as I am there as male. I am trying to find new work but am being pushed into military/airforce/police by parents with an agenda! -I have taken up running and reading to try and have new hobbies but often find myself without the motivation to engage in them. -I have asked friends if they want to meet up but I get the same response of "i'll see when i'm free" and nothing further. -I am very chatty and have lost the person I could pour my heart out to. -Frequent feelings of loneliness. The good parts are that I don't drink or take drugs and have no desires to self-harm or attempt suicide.

What's the point of living anymore? Seriously?! What the hell even is my life anymore? I'm being kicked out some time between june 1st-june 6th. My grandpa DOES have the decency to give me some time. I'm terrified of sitting out on the streets to panhandle and I can't live with my friend because fucking legal reasons. Suicide seems like a nice escape right now. I'll probably get raped, stabbed, and killed by some angry man within a week of being homeless and someone might stumble across my half-rotted lifeless courpse cut into large un-recognizable chunks off the side of a highway. Guess I have to accept this. I'm honestly at my whits end I have no other family who will take me in. I'm looking into homeless shelters and I'm going to hang out with my friend for a couple weeks and just forget about my troubles, but then after that I have to go or else she'll lose everything she's worked so hard for. Which will kill me faster? A shotgun or a train? [editline]23rd May 2016[/editline] Seriously I need to bite a bullet because there's absolutely no way I will be able to have a stable life because of my family and this economy. It's inevitable. I am trying to see any positive in this. All I have to look forward to is a couple weeks with my friend and being free from my abusive family. [editline]23rd May 2016[/editline] Every year, approximately 5,000 homeless young people will die because of assault, illness, or suicide while trying to survive.

[QUOTE=IJNOMED;50378924]What's the point of living anymore? Seriously?! What the hell even is my life anymore? I'm being kicked out some time between june 1st-june 6th. My grandpa DOES have the decency to give me some time. I'm terrified of sitting out on the streets to panhandle and I can't live with my friend because fucking legal reasons. Suicide seems like a nice escape right now. I'll probably get raped, stabbed, and killed by some angry man within a week of being homeless and someone might stumble across my half-rotted lifeless courpse cut into large un-recognizable chunks off the side of a highway. Guess I have to accept this. I'm honestly at my whits end I have no other family who will take me in. I'm looking into homeless shelters and I'm going to hang out with my friend for a couple weeks and just forget about my troubles, but then after that I have to go or else she'll lose everything she's worked so hard for. Which will kill me faster? A shotgun or a train? [editline]23rd May 2016[/editline] Seriously I need to bite a bullet because there's absolutely no way I will be able to have a stable life because of my family and this economy. It's inevitable. I am trying to see any positive in this. All I have to look forward to is a couple weeks with my friend and being free from my abusive family. [editline]23rd May 2016[/editline] Every year, approximately 5,000 homeless young people will die because of assault, illness, or suicide while trying to survive.[/QUOTE] I really hope everything gets sorted out for you. Even despite not really knowing you, you seem like a genuinely nice and kind person, if you end up committing suicide, I will miss you.

[QUOTE=IJNOMED;50378924]What's the point of living anymore? Seriously?! What the hell even is my life anymore? I'm being kicked out some time between june 1st-june 6th. My grandpa DOES have the decency to give me some time. I'm terrified of sitting out on the streets to panhandle and I can't live with my friend because fucking legal reasons. Suicide seems like a nice escape right now. I'll probably get raped, stabbed, and killed by some angry man within a week of being homeless and someone might stumble across my half-rotted lifeless courpse cut into large un-recognizable chunks off the side of a highway. Guess I have to accept this. I'm honestly at my whits end I have no other family who will take me in. I'm looking into homeless shelters and I'm going to hang out with my friend for a couple weeks and just forget about my troubles, but then after that I have to go or else she'll lose everything she's worked so hard for. Which will kill me faster? A shotgun or a train?[/QUOTE] Really wish I could give you a hug right now

[img]https://f.lewd.se/Owrfnl_asdfjkl.PNG[/img] Hopefully these guys will actually send me info in the mail

This may be of help for those who are clumsy. [url]http://www.medicaldaily.com/can-clumsiness-be-cured-how-accident-prone-people-can-stop-stumbling-simply-exercising-their-brain[/url] [QUOTE]Everyone's taken an awkward fall or tripped going up the steps. But for the people whose daily lives are afflicted with this accident-prone behavior, respite may be on the horizon. Your clumsiness could be curable.[/QUOTE] Accident prone = low self esteem.

I don't get why everyone tells me not to kill myself, I gotta die sometime. Why not now?

[QUOTE=Tobin;50381596]I don't get why everyone tells me not to kill myself, I gotta die sometime. Why not now?[/QUOTE] Because they care about you and went to experience life with you. I'm willing to bet a ton of people grapple with feelings similar to yours, and simply having friends such as you gives them some sense of purpose and relief in a complicated and confusing world.

[QUOTE=Qaus;50377066]oh that explains a lot[/QUOTE] I too am in great physical pain, but not due to hunger. Puking out both ends. Looking pale and being drained and tired all the time. Nightmares. I feel like death warmed over.

this may seem like a wired thing to act but what are some good foods to help with depression ( maybe if i improve my diet maybe?)

I really don't care if I live or die anymore. I'm a lonely depressed person.

[QUOTE=Tobin;50381596]I don't get why everyone tells me not to kill myself, I gotta die sometime. Why not now?[/QUOTE] So you can experience things and who knows what might happen. Eventually someone will come around and change all that tis what happened to me.

[QUOTE=DELL;50383278]So you can experience things and who knows what might happen. Eventually someone will come around and change all that tis what happened to me.[/QUOTE] I doubt that

You know in movies when the characters has a horrible nightmare, and something scary pops out and they wake up, sitting up terrified? Thought it only happened in movies, but it happened to me this morning. Even though it was horrible and I hope it won't happen again, it was pretty fucking awesome.

I don't know what is happening this year in my university everyone is depressed and don't want to study. I have been studying a lot only to end up failing almost every exam I do, in fact today I even cryed. Is that even normal? I get so depressed every time I fail an exam and I'm having difficulties to pass them.

[QUOTE=Tobin;50383433]I doubt that[/QUOTE] You don't know that thought

[QUOTE=theevilldeadII;50382073]this may seem like a wired thing to act but what are some good foods to help with depression ( maybe if i improve my diet maybe?)[/QUOTE] Omega 3 Fish oils are apparently good. My doctor recommended I take those along side my meds in the morning since you can get them in pill form. Look into it. More water as well I think as well as some fish and walnuts. Also try to walk at least an hour a day. It helps (but that's not an eating thing obv).

Why I feel like anything I do is somehow unacceptable or weird? How can I not do this and just enjoy what I do?

This my philosophy: If everything is so shit and pointless, why even care? Do whatever the fuck you want to do. In Tyler Durden we trust.

I know it's the message you're focusing on but he's not exactly the best example of a sane person.

[QUOTE=ZombieDawgs;50385475]I know it's the message you're focusing on but he's not exactly the best example of a sane person.[/QUOTE] In the eyes of the insane, the sanes are the insane.

[QUOTE=The bird Man;50385478]In the eyes of the insane, the sanes are the insane.[/QUOTE] The answer to all of this is reality is completely insane. Think the difference between physics and quantum quantum physics.