Depression, anxiety, suicidalism and similar disorders, issues and troubles V4 - Discussion, help an - General

[QUOTE=RoboChimp;50459861]You guys got any experience with sertraline? Felt a bit dizzy after the first time I tried it. On it since Friday?[/QUOTE] I've started taking it recently. I was a little nauseous the first week. I'm not feeling any positive or negative effects after approximately a month, though. My psychiatrist raised my dosage this week. So far I'm having a bumpy stomach during first week, just like last time.

Bit of advice, if you're in a long term relationship, do not make the relationship about your illness, do not talk about it 24/7, and just try your best to function like normal. Do not get too absorbed by your illness. Yes it's a hard time, and it's absolutely horrible, but you've just got to get on with it, and get the help you need. Distract yourself as much as possible, get yourself out and about, even just for a walk. I have lost someone who was very special to me because I let it consume me for too long, so they had nothing but negative/pessimistic view of me regardless. I only have myself to blame really in the early months, where I had the answers right there in front of me, yet felt so disconnected from the world, and couldn't show as much appreciation as I actually felt. Don't make the same mistake I did. Appreciate those trying to help you, thank them, tell them how thankful you are, and show them too by getting yourself on the right track and being committed to whatever it is that will get you better. It's not worth losing someone so special to you. Whilst yes they should support you, and stay by your side if they truly care, there's only so much they can do, and so much they can take. Mental illness does not excuse you from bad behaviours/habits. It is your responsibility because behaviour is something you can change, and only you are capable of changing it. The illness may explain the behaviour, but it does not ever excuse it, it doesn't make the other person feel better. Take responsibility for your illness/behaviour, and TAKE CONTROL.

[QUOTE=GisG56;50460837]Bit of advice, if you're in a long term relationship, do not make the relationship about your illness, do not talk about it 24/7, and just try your best to function like normal. Do not get too absorbed by your illness. Yes it's a hard time, and it's absolutely horrible, but you've just got to get on with it, and get the help you need. Distract yourself as much as possible, get yourself out and about, even just for a walk. I have lost someone who was very special to me because I let it consume me for too long, so my partner had nothing but negative/pessimistic view of me regardless of anything else. Don't make the same mistake I did.[/QUOTE] Well talking about it 24/7 to anyone including doctors will be horrible. I can tell you though that your partner didn't love you as to love is to accept fully no matter what it may be. For they themselves choose to look at as a negative for they most likely had their own issues they haven't dealt with yet. Though I may not be one to say as I've taken shit for about 24 years now and I've been come a tank. After all the shit I've thrown at myself and the stuff others have thrown at me I can not be stopped nor will I be stopped unless death is brought upon me. Also just do what you believe to be good as you're gonna hurt everyone no matter what and they will hurt you. It just comes down to who is worth having that happen with which is in reality very tiny.

[QUOTE=DELL;50460876]Well talking about it 24/7 to anyone including doctors will be horrible. I can tell you though that your partner didn't love you as to love is to accept fully no matter what it may be. For they themselves choose to look at as a negative for they most likely had their own issues they haven't dealt with yet. Though I may not be one to say as I've taken shit for about 24 years now and I've been come a tank. After all the shit I've thrown at myself and the stuff others have thrown at me I can not be stopped nor will I be stopped unless death is brought upon me. Also just do what you believe to be good as you're gonna hurt everyone no matter what and they will hurt you. It just comes down to who is worth having that happen with which is in reality very tiny.[/QUOTE] Of course yes, but difference being is that you shouldn't let it take over your life, and they are there to help you. Other people in your life shouldn't have to deal with it so much, at least that's what I learned. It's not fair to bring others down, and I should of just left at the start of it all, not put them through it at all. How could you possibly know if he loved me? If he didn't love me, then he wouldn't of been with me through most of it in the first place (despite pessimistic attitude). It was a tough thing for anyone to accept, myself included. Besides, we are young and hadn't had to deal with something like that in the relationship before. I honestly do not think you have a place to say that he didn't love me at all. Things just got too complex, and at the end of the day, everyone has their limits. It was just a shame that it happened just as I am beginning to get on a good track. I do agree with you in that love is a lot more than just an emotion, but that view differs among different people. I am a strong believer in forgive and forget, so I can kinda agree on what you're saying there. Everyone finds something offensive at some point, and also people aren't perfect, and tbh if we were, I think the world would be a boring place to live in. I kind of agree with that, especially with temporary circumstances, but like I said, everyone has their limits, and some times, people simply don't want to forgive. Either way, I think a bit of space when something like this occurs in a relationship is usually a good shout.

[QUOTE=RoboChimp;50459861]You guys got any experience with sertraline? Felt a bit dizzy after the first time I tried it. On it since Friday?[/QUOTE] Been on it twice (I'm on it atm), side effects exist but most of them disappeared after a few days or weeks. Are you taking it in the morning? If so then I would suggest taking it while having breakfast. I get bad stomach pains if I don't eat while taking it.

[QUOTE=GisG56;50461041] How could you possibly know if he loved me?[/QUOTE] I can't explain it as no one can really explain it yet. Though when you find that person you want to spend your life with no matter what their problems are you'll get what I meant. On the people can not forgive is none existent, everything can be forgiven. It can't be forgotten. Which people change so what may not be forgotten may no longer apply to who they are after they changed.

[QUOTE=DELL;50461968]I can't explain it as no one can really explain it yet. Though when you find that person you want to spend your life with no matter what their problems are you'll get what I meant. On the people can not forgive is none existent, everything can be forgiven. It can't be forgotten. Which people change so what may not be forgotten may no longer apply to who they are after they changed.[/QUOTE] Fair enough. I thought I had, but I guess I wasn't really what they were looking for if that's the case?? To be honest, there is always a limit. Sometimes, love isn't enough to pull people through things, and that's just a hard/harsh fact of life. I agree with you there. It's possible to forgive, but only if you wish to, and people hold grudges due to the forget part. Forget part of it is commonly misunderstood too, it just means forget to move on, not literally wipe it from memory. If we could wipe wrongs/bad experiences from our minds, we would be perfectly engineered humans, and we wouldn't be who we are without those bad experiences. It's a tricky one to say the least, love is never simple. [editline]6th June 2016[/editline] [QUOTE=RoboChimp;50459861]You guys got any experience with sertraline? Felt a bit dizzy after the first time I tried it. On it since Friday?[/QUOTE] That's normal in the first few weeks. That's just your body getting used to it, and the headaches are because obviously it alters the brain chemicals function in your brain to help you feel better. These should subside after a week or two, if they don't, go to back to your GP and they might be able to find an alternative. But for now, you're just experiencing normal side effects. Also, you may also start to feel a bit zoned out, and not really with it, this is normal too, and will probably gradually get back to normal once you're used to the medication. If you want anymore information, feel free to message me. I am happy to help :).

[QUOTE=GisG56;50462753]Fair enough. I thought I had, but I guess I wasn't really what they were looking for if that's the case?? To be honest, there is always a limit. Sometimes, love isn't enough to pull people through things, and that's just a hard/harsh fact of life. I agree with you there. It's possible to forgive, but only if you wish to, and people hold grudges due to the forget part. Forget part of it is commonly misunderstood too, it just means forget to move on, not literally wipe it from memory. If we could wipe wrongs/bad experiences from our minds, we would be perfectly engineered humans, and we wouldn't be who we are because of those bad experiences. It's a tricky one to say the least, love is never simple. [/QUOTE] Well you may have to do work yourself, in my case that love unlocked the cage and said hey this is the world outside of that. Holding grudges to the forget part will really only hurt the person who holds the grudge. I still remember what someone did to me but they made it right. However they haven't changed so remembering what they did still applies if they change though then I can't say it applies. I know love isn't simple I ended up falling in love with someone who is with someone. Which kids are involved there none of her's she's just a stepmom to them. Though if not for her none of this could've happened so it's like the logical end says nope. Yet the end that love comes from tells me to follow through. As looking at her is like looking in a mirror in the end and to miss someone like that by following logic would just be me doing what I always do. On a different note well this is horrible and painful, I recommend for anyone to write out their life and analyze what caused the manner in thinking that they think. It took me about 6 hours worth of writing yet now I no longer feel like I'm in cage which is the most weird and amazing thing ever. Which honestly the only thing that drove me to do that is too find out if my love for her was true or not. Which as it turns out it is for not doing that would of left me in the same cycle.

[QUOTE=RoboChimp;50459861]You guys got any experience with sertraline? Felt a bit dizzy after the first time I tried it. On it since Friday?[/QUOTE] I take sertraline along with a few other medicines. Zoloft made me really tired when I first started taking it

[QUOTE=GisG56;50462753]That's normal in the first few weeks. That's just your body getting used to it, and the headaches are because obviously it alters the brain chemicals function in your brain to help you feel better. These should subside after a week or two, if they don't, go to back to your GP and they might be able to find an alternative. But for now, you're just experiencing normal side effects. Also, you may also start to feel a bit zoned out, and not really with it, this is normal too, and will probably gradually get back to normal once you're used to the medication. If you want anymore information, feel free to message me. I am happy to help :).[/QUOTE]I don't know if it's an effect of the drug but women seem far more attractive after I took it today.

its odd just how sociable I am and how much it varies. earlier I was very social, felt confident and just had plenty of energy in general. now I can barely be bothered to talk. it fluctuates a lot, wonder whats causing this. my mood plummets along with this too. [editline]6th June 2016[/editline] maybe its caused by me being under stimulated? that I kinda go into "resting" mode since all I've been doing the past hours is to sit on my ass in front of a computer? earlier I was just done at the gym and was outside, then I went to the store and once I got home I prepared a shake.

i need some advice. my dad's not been in my life much since my parents split up and he's always been very hard to get a hold of, like to get him to come down and see us every now and then. he always reads the messages but he very rarely responds. now he's sent us a message explaining why - he's been, in his own words, "dangerously depressed" for a while now, and he says he's not been a good father to us, which i don't agree with. i want to tell him that i understand and that it's not his fault, and perhaps if he could come down to see us it would make him feel better, but i've never really handled this kind of depression and i don't want to say anything that would make him worse. so what should i do? i want to see him again and i think it would help him, but if i ask he might feel like i'll be disappointed in him if he can't make it.

followup to my previous wasp post: "help carry in groceries" [B]"okay"[/B] [I]*wasps*[/I] [B]"actually i can't"[/B] "why" [B]"wasps"[/B] "where" [B]"right there outside the door there's like 10 of them"[/B] [I]*doesn't look*[/I] "i don't see any" [b]"well i can't carry in groceries. my heart is already racing."[/b] "you're an idiot, there aren't any wasps just like there wasn't a wasp in the apartment the other day. you can make your own dinner." i can't cook

[QUOTE=RoboChimp;50463689]I don't know if it's an effect of the drug but women seem far more attractive after I took it today.[/QUOTE] Haha! Who knows. Could be. That or you just have a positive outlook on life today :D

[QUOTE=RoboChimp;50463689]I don't know if it's an effect of the drug but women seem far more attractive after I took it today.[/QUOTE] The first time I took sertraline, well not the very first but the first time since I've been off of it - I got a sort of really weird high, everything was normal but it all felt so right and I felt light. I don't have an explanation for it but could be something to it. It wore off overnight though and I haven't experienced it since.

[QUOTE=PredGD;50464512]its odd just how sociable I am and how much it varies. earlier I was very social, felt confident and just had plenty of energy in general. now I can barely be bothered to talk. it fluctuates a lot, wonder whats causing this. my mood plummets along with this too. [editline]6th June 2016[/editline] maybe its caused by me being under stimulated? that I kinda go into "resting" mode since all I've been doing the past hours is to sit on my ass in front of a computer? earlier I was just done at the gym and was outside, then I went to the store and once I got home I prepared a shake.[/QUOTE] It's quite normal to be sociable, and such, and then just want time to yourself sometimes. It's healthy in fact, and is important to keep a balance of social time and you time. You said your mood plummets with it, how do you mean? Sometimes too much socialising and never having time to yourself increases stress, and though you'd think it would make you feel good, it can do the opposite, and you feel pressured to keep up with the amount of socialising you have been doing to not disappoint people who suddenly see you as someone who never wants time to yourself. Spending all day at a computer is never a good idea in my experience. Getting out and being active is really good for you, even if it's on your own (sometimes it's better on your own). Perhaps make yourself something to eat? Sometimes hunger can cause you to feel under stimulated. Keep hydrated too.

Anxiety and dread today, again. No idea where it came from, and I was on so good track on not being anxious or filled with dread about issues I cannot help. It's so difficult to focus when such things crawl back into consciousness. Had to take a nap. Helped a bit.

Urgh since finishing uni I've been trying to get myself a proper job, except I'm back living with my mum in a tiny village where there are no jobs around within driving distance and I can't learn to drive without getting the money from working. My mum is doing pretty terribly financially and can't front me the money to learn to drive. And while some of my friends still live in the area they aren't the ones. While my mum is doing her best to be accomodating for me I'm stuck in a tiny room that barely fits my stuff, I barely get to see friends since they live alone different places (where there aren't even fucking buses to) and the few friends that do still live in the area are more just the kind to have a few drinks with rather than have a proper talk with and I feel like I'm just drowning in everything and don't have anyone to vent emotions too. It's like I'm in a cycle of shittiness and I just can't pull myself out of it despite actually trying for once in my fucking life. I need to get out of this house so I can fucking breathe but it just feels so impossible right now

It's my birthday in 10 minutes and I've never felt so dead. I was thinking about suicide earlier this evening, but I kind of reasoned that it's too impractical at this point. Not to mention suicide's derogatory - my girlfriend, friends, etc. would miss me if I vanished but at the same time it's important to weigh that. I wouldn't want them to think it's because of them, because it's not, but still, I want them to be happy in the long run. And I did weigh all this, and my girlfriend and friends are worth all this. Eventually I think I might get better. I really do hope so, because otherwise life really does bite. I hope they can understand my motivations and my conscientiousness between experiences. Otherwise, I still have facepunch, I guess.

[QUOTE=GisG56;50466200]It's quite normal to be sociable, and such, and then just want time to yourself sometimes. It's healthy in fact, and is important to keep a balance of social time and you time. You said your mood plummets with it, how do you mean? Sometimes too much socialising and never having time to yourself increases stress, and though you'd think it would make you feel good, it can do the opposite, and you feel pressured to keep up with the amount of socialising you have been doing to not disappoint people who suddenly see you as someone who never wants time to yourself. Spending all day at a computer is never a good idea in my experience. Getting out and being active is really good for you, even if it's on your own (sometimes it's better on your own). Perhaps make yourself something to eat? Sometimes hunger can cause you to feel under stimulated. Keep hydrated too.[/QUOTE] I don't know, I feel like there's so much downtime compared to uptime in regards to how sociable I am. I often feel pretty drained but then I have these rare moments where I suddenly feel like a champ, I'd love to feel like that more often. with the mood dropping, it's mostly me becoming very empty and careless. I suppose I could try taking a few walks every now and then to see if it does anything to me. don't think food or hydration is any problem, I'm currently in a bulking phase so I eat somewhat more than your average person.

When I was in the psych ward I became friends with this girl. I think about her a lot and worry about her because she was in there for attempted suicide. She gave me her phone number but we haven't spoken since I got out. I think it's too late for me to text her or something

Well, there's no harm in trying. Besides I think is only natural for you to be concerned about something like this. Worst case scenario would be her not remembering you. So I say you don't really have anything to lose.

I'm feeling super anxious 24/7 lately. I just graduated college, so it's time to get a real job and sort my life out... The ultimate pressure. I know no one really has it sorted. But I imagine my fellow grads don't wake up every morning to nauseous to move. A+ ugh [editline]7th June 2016[/editline] [QUOTE=Disseminate;50469284]It's my birthday in 10 minutes and I've never felt so dead. I was thinking about suicide earlier this evening, but I kind of reasoned that it's too impractical at this point. Not to mention suicide's derogatory - my girlfriend, friends, etc. would miss me if I vanished but at the same time it's important to weigh that. I wouldn't want them to think it's because of them, because it's not, but still, I want them to be happy in the long run. And I did weigh all this, and my girlfriend and friends are worth all this. Eventually I think I might get better. I really do hope so, because otherwise life really does bite. I hope they can understand my motivations and my conscientiousness between experiences. Otherwise, I still have facepunch, I guess.[/QUOTE] That's all rather logical of you. I really hope things brighten up. Maybe calling your girlfriend might cheer you up, give you someone to chat with :)

Hey an update so you all know I'm alive. (for now at least) Stressing big time over my family. I managed to bend over and have my dad's side of the family let me rent out my old childhood bedroom ($25 a week, so $100 a month) I am LUCKY they won't make me pay until I get a job. It's gross here, I spent an entire day deep-cleaning my room and the fridge, I've got a nintendo wii and internet so I'm super thrilled about that. The only problem, the constant nagging and degrading that comes from my grandmother is bringing me down. The way I dress upsets her, the way my hair is cut (my bangs) upsets her, she always has something to nitpick me about. ESPECIALLY my weight and my goals in life. She insists my friends are "fake computer robots" despite me showing a picture with me and them physically together. She keeps saying people who have depression are "doing it for attention" and "aren't trying hard enough" and "are weak." etc. General racism and bigotry aswell, I had to go into town to visit my dad in the hospital and all along the way on the train and busses she'd make rude comments about every "minority" we passed up. She wished my dad's death and sickness on her own son who is gay (not my dad, my uncle, idk if you guys remember me talking about my gay uncle who is estranged from the family because of their homophobia and my grandma shot his dog with a shotgun when she found out) And to add the cherry ontop of the ever-lasting shit storm that is my life; Last night my cousin found my OK cupid profile and it clearly says I'm lesbian on there. I saw she visited. My first thoughts were: "oh shit I wish I was dead" and then "why the fuck is she on OK cupid, and why is she looking at my profile?" She's a pastor/minister (something like that) at a church so she's deffinetley going to tell my whole family and that's going to be the end of me. Watch, I'm going to get angry phone calls sometime this week once my family starts to bad-mouth me, and when my grandma finds out, she's going to raise hell and I'm going to have to get the fuck out of here. So my secret is in danger, hopefully my cousin won't say anything, but ofcourse she most likely will. Thank satan I live close enough to a train station that can bring me to boston and then to the airport so I can get the hell out of here.

[QUOTE=GisG56;50466125]Haha! Who knows. Could be. That or you just have a positive outlook on life today :D[/QUOTE] [QUOTE=MrJazzy;50466192]The first time I took sertraline, well not the very first but the first time since I've been off of it - I got a sort of really weird high, everything was normal but it all felt so right and I felt light. I don't have an explanation for it but could be something to it. It wore off overnight though and I haven't experienced it since.[/QUOTE]Ah, well this happened again today, I hope the effect never wears off, it's amazing.

What the hell kind of a life is this? Seriously? It's one thing after another and it's not my fault. I'm trying here.

True that. I'm reading your posts and I'm finding hard to believe. Like shit, this can't possibly be real. Because if it is then your family is really terrible. And they should feel ashamed of themselves.

[QUOTE=SoftHearted;50471554]True that. I'm reading your posts and I'm finding hard to believe. Like shit, this can't possibly be real. Because if it is then your family is really terrible. And they should feel ashamed of themselves.[/QUOTE] Its a freak show. I swear. I could write a novel about it that's how outrageous my life is. Like for fucks sake how ironic is it that my super religious pastor/priest (whatever, maybe she lights candles or something) cousin stumbles across MY ok cupid profile? (to be fair, there were only maybe 20 people on that island who had an OK cupid profile. So it was probably easy for her to stumble across me, because my profile picture was a picture I also had on facebook) Why haven't I bit the bullet yet? I probably should have long ago. Because it keeps getting worse. It really really does. My fear drives me from ever going through with killing myself though. [editline]7th June 2016[/editline] So real it's unreal.

had a dream about self-harming last night. please don't let me slip back into this.

I'm going to recommend you all try something, which is write out what you believe to be causing the issues. The analyze it and see what caused the pattern of thought in the first place. It is not pleasant to do, however for me it worked wonders. As now two days after everything that once held me in a cage is gone. Free to fly wherever I may please to put. Would work in any creative works as well so you could say paint out those feelings, feel them and accept it and move on.