Depression, anxiety, suicidalism and similar disorders, issues and troubles V4 - Discussion, help an - General

Your type of girl exists, and she probably isn't even your type of girl, she's just a girl who you really like and who really likes you somehow, which sounds weird but the partner you find rarely is a copy of the one you though you were after. You're cool in every way and you'll find her, or she finds you! For the moment it just isn't that time.

After all this time of trying to get better and fixing my problems. Things keep getting worse and worse. My hallucinations are getting more vivid and problematic by the day. If it comes to the point where I am having one every day, I decided that it'll be time to go. No more dramatic writing, no more crap, only a handful of sleeping pills to try and make things easier for those around me. On the 23rd, I turn twenty two, and I have no reason I can honestly think of to keep going on after that point. With this last year, I have only reaffirmed my complete and utter wasteful existence. I have a living and death will written down, and with how it is at the moment, that's all I really have left to care about. As of this moment, I'm waiting on a recent test's results from my therapist, after that I'm really not sure what to think or do. I can only drown out my life with fishing, hiking, and otherwise for so long before it becomes irrelevant to me. The only thing I want now is to be able to have myself legally euthanized. So I can at least have a date written down so I can spend as much time as possible with my family before going through with it. It's all I really want, right now.

[QUOTE=DELL;50660701]Anyone had abilify before?[/QUOTE] 2 months, and nothing happened to me. But then I moved to seroquel, and holy shit that tripped me.

I went up to pet my two guinea pigs, they already laid sleepily across the cage floor. Nothing much I could do. I'm glad they don't know me, because they lie so peacefully where they are, and they are so cute.

I wish thoughts of my ex girlfriend would go away. It feels like they never will

Yep trying to be positive here. I may just up snd leave today but I feel ill. By ill I mean more so physically weak. I wanted to get up and collect my last paychecks. It won't be much. Probably like $70. The trains start running now, If I leave now, no one will figure it out until mid-day that I'm gone. Part of me is trying to "slap some sense" into myself, and say "wait awhile".

So should I see if the girl I recently went out with is up for something this weekend? I'm so nervous but I really want to see her again.

You never know until you try. So I say yes.

[QUOTE=ColdWave;50672868]So should I see if the girl I recently went out with is up for something this weekend? I'm so nervous but I really want to see her again.[/QUOTE] Yes. But don't overthink it. Don't stare at your phone / PC or whatever you use to send the message. Ask, try to "forget" about it and do other stuff. I'm VERY guilty of sending messages to girls I date then doing nothing else but wait for response and then start overthinking like "She hates me!" "Is she ignoring me?" "I'm such a shit she doesn't care" and then it turns out not like that at all. I've succeeded a bit in stopping that habit, but it still lifts its ugly head from time to time.

[QUOTE=ColdWave;50672868]So should I see if the girl I recently went out with is up for something this weekend? I'm so nervous but I really want to see her again.[/QUOTE] You should ask her just don't overthink like the other person said

[QUOTE=ColdWave;50672868]So should I see if the girl I recently went out with is up for something this weekend? I'm so nervous but I really want to see her again.[/QUOTE] Yes and good luck! She seems to like you from what you told us :smile:

I fucking hate myself.I fucking hate myself.I fucking hate myself Why am I so inferior compared to everyone else around me? It depresses me seeing people my age and under my age accomplish things and be good at things while I'm not good at anything. I've tried and forced myself to do things but nothing ever came of it. I've been taught music lots of times through primary school and middle school (9yrs) and I can't play musical instruments, can't read notes, can't nothing. I've been drawing ever since I've touched a pencil and something to draw on but right now I can't improve anymore and like I said, everyone and people younger than me has better ones, and what I have now isn't good enough for anything either. I'm not interested nor physically fit for sports. I suck at video games, and everything else I'm not interested in at all. I hate it, makes me feel ashamed of myself and I just can't get over it. How can people my age and people younger than me accomplish more things? How can they perfect what they do in their time while I can't do shit? Worst of all is that these people say that what they do now is not good enough. I'd kill my fucking friends, or even family to be able to do what they do. I fucked up a process and there's no fixing it anymore. I'm about to graduate and there won't be any time soon to pick anything up. Even if I do get a talent slowly, and manage to have it when I'm like 80 years old or something, there won't be any use then. Trust me, I've tried over and over and it feels like nothing changes at all. Or even if I am good at something and I don't realize it, I won't be interested nor proud at all. Like maybe who'd want to be with someone whose talent is professional nose picking or being lazy? There won't be a job nor anything. I'm not sure if my learning disabilities are also why I can't do anything either. Being a jack of no trades, and not being able to improve at anything, sucks. I don't want to do or be good at something I don't like nor interest to continue living on. Life is so fucking unfair.

Hey everyone. Something I found helpful when I was struggling was being creative (through drawing, sewing, song writing, etc). It allows you to completely focus your mind on something else (especially if you need to have a steady hand for it) and express your emotions healthily. Another thing was not staying indoors all day, even if that meant just going out on the patch of grass outside the flat, or in the garden back at home for a few minutes. Aside from exercise being something again that I would highly recommend, find some place near where you live which you find beautiful, or is just a nice place to chill around/walk in. This could be a park, botanical garden, hill, beach, field, wood, or just a nice street (I was lucky enough to live near a beach). Go there every day without fail - set yourself a time of day to go and just relax, and take in your surroundings. If you're finding it hard doing this without music, then take music, but it's most effective without. I personally chose to go for a beach walk to watch sunrise. It might seem/sound like it wouldn't do anything, but trust me, when you feel numbed, and rejected from people you love, the best thing to do is be mindful of your surroundings and push the negative things out - taking in the surroundings, and reminding yourself of positive things and that you aren't as numb as you thought because you are out and about and taking in surroundings. Like I said, this all may seem a bit skeptical - it did for me back when I felt terrible - but it works. It takes time, but you start to realise there are a shit ton of things to live for, and you are super lucky to live in the place you live in etc. I hope some of these suggestions help some people. :smile: Stay strong and mindful, you're all capable of coming out stronger the other side :) [editline]8th July 2016[/editline] [QUOTE=Crpto2007;50669868]I wish thoughts of my ex girlfriend would go away. It feels like they never will[/QUOTE] They won't go easily, especially if it happened recently. But they will eventually fade. It may not seem like it now, but I promise you they will, and you will become too occupied in the present to think about her all the time. This is harder than it sounds, but focus on yourself and your self improvement, and making you happy. Don't focus on negative or wrongs she did, focus on yourself. You can only control yourself. Sadly, that part of your life is gone - and you never know, it could be a blessing in disguise. You will find someone else some day, but for now you need to focus on you. Go out with some mates - not necessarily clubs or anything, just day trips or whatever. You can get through this, but only you can control and let yourself do so.

I suffer from massive general anxiety since a month. Now i'm convinced i suffer from [URL="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Creutzfeldt%E2%80%93Jakob_disease"]Creutzfeldt–Jakob disease.[/URL] I can't break this circle of anxiety, and now that i made a self-diagnosis of a disease that basically transform your brain into a sponge in 12 months flat i'm even more anxious and depersonalized. I mean, how do i fucking know if my anxiety is just pure anxiety or the result of a disease ? Shit. Besides who the hell would make me pass in a MRI and do all the potential exams for this disease based on tiredness and anxiety alone ? They will put everything on the psychological aspect and call it a day, but when you read this : [QUOTE]Many early cases of CMV are often mistaken for psychiatric disorders.[/QUOTE] How can i be sure of anything ? Not knowing is killing me.

[QUOTE=GisG56;50674518]Hey everyone. Something I found helpful when I was struggling was being creative (through drawing, sewing, song writing, etc). It allows you to completely focus your mind on something else (especially if you need to have a steady hand for it) and express your emotions healthily. Another thing was not staying indoors all day, even if that meant just going out on the patch of grass outside the flat, or in the garden back at home for a few minutes. Aside from exercise being something again that I would highly recommend, find some place near where you live which you find beautiful, or is just a nice place to chill around/walk in. This could be a park, botanical garden, hill, beach, field, wood, or just a nice street (I was lucky enough to live near a beach). Go there every day without fail - set yourself a time of day to go and just relax, and take in your surroundings. If you're finding it hard doing this without music, then take music, but it's most effective without. I personally chose to go for a beach walk to watch sunrise. It might seem/sound like it wouldn't do anything, but trust me, when you feel numbed, and rejected from people you love, the best thing to do is be mindful of your surroundings and push the negative things out - taking in the surroundings, and reminding yourself of positive things and that you aren't as numb as you thought because you are out and about and taking in surroundings. Like I said, this all may seem a bit skeptical - it did for me back when I felt terrible - but it works. It takes time, but you start to realise there are a shit ton of things to live for, and you are super lucky to live in the place you live in etc. I hope some of these suggestions help some people. :smile: Stay strong and mindful, you're all capable of coming out stronger the other side :) [editline]8th July 2016[/editline] They won't go easily, especially if it happened recently. But they will eventually fade. It may not seem like it now, but I promise you they will, and you will become too occupied in the present to think about her all the time. This is harder than it sounds, but focus on yourself and your self improvement, and making you happy. Don't focus on negative or wrongs she did, focus on yourself. You can only control yourself. Sadly, that part of your life is gone - and you never know, it could be a blessing in disguise. You will find someone else some day, but for now you need to focus on you. Go out with some mates - not necessarily clubs or anything, just day trips or whatever. You can get through this, but only you can control and let yourself do so.[/QUOTE] I don't know this was awhile ago but it still hurts me to this day. It was so easy for her to just move on and forget about me like I never meant anything to her

[QUOTE=Crpto2007;50674595]I don't know this was awhile ago but it still hurts me to this day. It was so easy for her to just move on and forget about me like I never meant anything to her[/QUOTE] I know how you feel, it really does hurt. If she moved on that fast, sad thing is, you probably didn't mean as much to her as you thought you did - HOWEVER, this doesn't mean that she never cared or loved you before. Equally, she could be putting on a front - you just don't know. It's hard, but best not to dwell on them as what you know and what they actually feel are two very different things and you have no way knowing for sure. Like I said, focus on yourself, not her. It's easier said than done, but do it. If she does regret anything that'll be on her and you'd of moved on, and possibly found someone who loves and values you properly. If she doesn't, then it still doesn't matter because you would have moved on. It's a hard thing to realise and accept, but focus on yourself, and the people around who do still love, care and value you, rather than someone who was too blind to see your value. She clearly isn't worth your heartache, and you can do better than that. I can't tell you how long it will take, but over time it will get easier. Different people take different amounts of time, so don't feel bad for taking so long - it just shows your emotions were real, true, and that you cared and loved her very much. I know people will probably get annoyed at you saying things like "Just move on already" or "you should've moved on by now" - try your best to ignore them. Whilst they only want what's best for you, they're also wrong because there is no definite time someone should take to get over someone they were in love with. So do not feel bad for feeling the way you do - it is normal. Focus on yourself, and the people who are still around you who love you, and hopefully you will start to feel better. Start something new, a hobby or something, get a new style, re-do your room, anything that makes things feel fresh. This is an opportunity for you to start a fresh, and become a better person. I can't tell you if she will come back, and you shouldn't even think about it. Things happen for a reason, and sometimes things that you believe are a curse to your life, are actually a blessing for better things in the future. This is your chance to put yourself first. You're free to do what you want, and to look after yourself properly. Allow yourself to grow as a person. You're worth a lot more than you feel right now, respect yourself.

[QUOTE=GisG56;50675049]I know how you feel, it really does hurt. If she moved on that fast, sad thing is, you probably didn't mean as much to her as you thought you did - HOWEVER, this doesn't mean that she never cared or loved you before. It also shows that she isn't worth your tears or ache. She didn't see your value and just walked away. Equally, she could be putting on a front - you just don't know. It's hard, but best not to dwell on them as what you know and what they actually feel are two very different things and you have no way knowing for sure. She was selfish enough to not give a damn, and cut you out straight away - of course she would've moved on fast. Like I said, focus on yourself, not her. It's easier said than done, but do it. If she does regret anything that'll be on her and you'd of moved on, and possibly found someone who loves and values you properly. If she doesn't, then it still doesn't matter because you would have moved on. It's a hard thing to realise and accept, but focus on yourself, and the people around who do still love, care and value you, rather than someone who was too blind to see your value. She clearly wasn't worth it. I can't tell you how long it will take, but over time it will get easier. Different people take different amounts of time, so don't feel bad for taking so long - it just shows your emotions were real, true, and that you cared and loved her very much. I know people will probably get annoyed at you saying things like "Just move on already" or "you should've moved on by now" - try your best to ignore them. Whilst they only want what's best for you, they're also wrong because there is no definite time someone should take to get over someone they were in love with. So do not feel bad for feeling the way you do - it is normal. Focus on yourself, and the people who are still around you who love you, and hopefully you will start to feel better. Start something new, a hobby or something, get a new style, re-do your room, anything that makes things feel fresh. This is an opportunity for you to start a fresh, and become a better person. I can't tell you if she will come back, and you shouldn't even think about it. Things happen for a reason, and sometimes things that you believe are a curse to your life, are actually a blessing for better things in the future. This is your chance to put yourself first. You're free to do what you want, and to look after yourself properly. Allow yourself to grow as a person. You're worth a lot more than you feel right now, respect yourself.[/QUOTE] some days it's more difficult than others. I always cared about her I guess that's why I still haven't completely gotten over her. She was my first girlfriend and she did mean everything to me at first. I don't want her back though I want to move on. She clearly never felt the same or she wouldn't just abandon me and get with some other guy [editline]8th July 2016[/editline] She doesn't care that she hurt me like this but like you said hopefully I will find a girl who won't abandon me

[QUOTE=Crpto2007;50675166]some days it's more difficult than others. I always cared about her I guess that's why I still haven't completely gotten over her. She was my first girlfriend and she did mean everything to me at first. I don't want her back though I want to move on. She clearly never felt the same or she wouldn't just abandon me and get with some other guy [editline]8th July 2016[/editline] She doesn't care that she hurt me like this but like you said hopefully I will find a girl who won't abandon me[/QUOTE] I understand. Of course you would, and I suppose an aspect of you always will care about her - again, that's normal. I think it's more that she was your first love, as to why you can't get over it very quickly. Take this as opportunity to learn what works for you during break ups, so then you can better look after yourself if it were to happen with someone else. That's good that you want to move on, and I promise you, you will. These things take time unfortunately. You need distractions like I mentioned before, and when you get too busy in the present, you will either forget about her most of the time, or won't have time to dwell on her due to you being too occupied. I definitely wouldn't recommend rebounding though - I've never done it myself, but I know people who have and it ended in complicated situations. If she never ever felt the same at one point, she wouldn't of been with you at all. I understand how rejected you feel though. Sometimes when people are in relationships, they don't realise what they have in front of them, and go searching else where, only to later realise that you were what they wanted in the first place. Like I said before, that's on her, not you. You didn't abandon her, so I guess you could be grateful for the fact you won't have to experience the horrible feeling of regret, or guilt for making such a decision. Again, like I said about feelings up there, you cannot know for sure if she cares that she hurt you or not, nor if she even knows that she hurt you. She certainly wouldn't tell you, and you are not inside her brain. But tbh that just shows even further that she isn't worth your time, and love. When you find yourself dwelling on positive memories or whatever, remind yourself of negative things about her, and why she left. Over time you will your feelings will start to dim - trust me. It's not hopefully. You WILL find someone who won't abandon you. You are good enough and capable of having someone who you love and who loves you back. Everyone deserves a partner in life, and I am sure you will find them. I know it's tempting to get back out there due to feeling lonely etc, but the best thing for you right now is to just focus on yourself for a bit, and self-improve. You'll be okay, I know it. You seem to have quite a logical mindset, you should be proud of yourself for handling it well, and that you're still getting on with your life. :smile:

It's been over a year and I still get depressed thinking about her. I was with her a few months ago for a day and I was willing to work things out but she decided to leave me again that same day. I don't know why she even contacted me just to leave me again and that hurt. It's all she ever did was hurt me. I'm getting a little bit better but like I said some days it doesn't hurt too bad but other days it hurts a lot. I had it worse last year by drinking everyday just to try and forget her and feel better. I would definitely never get back with her ever and wouldnt even want to be friends

Setraline. Day one. Can't sleep.

I haven't left my house in like 2 weeks and I don't know how to get over this slump I'm thinking about going back on meds but I hate the feeling of dependency genuine question how do you go out and meet people I don't know how to do that

[QUOTE=Dick Slamfist;50677431]I haven't left my house in like 2 weeks and I don't know how to get over this slump I'm thinking about going back on meds but I hate the feeling of dependency genuine question how do you go out and meet people I don't know how to do that[/QUOTE] The way I do it is, go to place with people, approach random person hey I'm (name here) want to play pool or other thing, or just say hi and ask not small talk questions that aren't that personal. Like what bands do you listen to? You play any instrument? Got any cool hobbies? Stuff like that where it's not that personal yet you're taking an interest in them. How's that local sports team and that sorta stuff will not help you meet people. Well unless you just want people to hangout with at say a sports bar or something like that.

[QUOTE=DELL;50677640]The way I do it is, go to place with people, approach random person hey I'm (name here) want to play pool or other thing, or just say hi and ask not small talk questions that aren't that personal. Like what bands do you listen to? You play any instrument? Got any cool hobbies? Stuff like that where it's not that personal yet you're taking an interest in them. How's that local sports team and that sorta stuff will not help you meet people. Well unless you just want people to hangout with at say a sports bar or something like that.[/QUOTE] That sounds so impossible to imagine. At a convention setting I'm really good at socializing with people but for lack of a ebtter term in the real world I unno I don't drink at all and I'm not big into sports :v:

Shit... My prescription for Bupropion (150mg/day) just ran out today, and I am not in a position to get it immediately renewed. Will I be okay for the time being?

[QUOTE=T.F.W.O.;50678029]Shit... My prescription for Bupropion (150mg/day) just ran out today, and I am not in a position to get it immediately renewed. Will I be okay for the time being?[/QUOTE] I used to be on fluvoxamine and later fluoxetine. If you go without it for about a 2 days you should be seeing some issues, a week is when you start to get some serious issues.

I really want to find a day where I just, I don't worry about any of it anymore. Bills, housing, women, careers, school, I just want to be able to wake up and be happy that the sun shines and the birds sing. I've been on Prozac before and I find it helped a lot but also had some tpettt negative side effects (annihlated my appetite and seriously affected my sexual performance) but other than that it helped the day to day, but I just can't stand that feeling of dependency. I mainly took it since it helped with anxieties as well I dont know curious what other things people take so I can weigh options I've been getting into meditation a lot lately and that really really helps

[QUOTE=Crpto2007;50669868]I wish thoughts of my ex girlfriend would go away. It feels like they never will[/QUOTE] this in other news i keep seeing people who aren't there in the corner of my eye. radical

[QUOTE=Drk;50674580]I suffer from massive general anxiety since a month. Now i'm convinced i suffer from [URL="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Creutzfeldt%E2%80%93Jakob_disease"]Creutzfeldt–Jakob disease.[/URL] I can't break this circle of anxiety, and now that i made a self-diagnosis of a disease that basically transform your brain into a sponge in 12 months flat i'm even more anxious and depersonalized. I mean, how do i fucking know if my anxiety is just pure anxiety or the result of a disease ? Shit. Besides who the hell would make me pass in a MRI and do all the potential exams for this disease based on tiredness and anxiety alone ? They will put everything on the psychological aspect and call it a day, but when you read this : How can i be sure of anything ? Not knowing is killing me.[/QUOTE] This might or might not easy your mind. But you really make it sound like Hypochondria is the more likely option.

[QUOTE=Crpto2007;50677078]It's been over a year and I still get depressed thinking about her. I was with her a few months ago for a day and I was willing to work things out but she decided to leave me again that same day. I don't know why she even contacted me just to leave me again and that hurt. It's all she ever did was hurt me. I'm getting a little bit better but like I said some days it doesn't hurt too bad but other days it hurts a lot. I had it worse last year by drinking everyday just to try and forget her and feel better. I would definitely never get back with her ever and wouldnt even want to be friends[/QUOTE] It's extremely hard, but over timr these things pass. Maybe you never forget her entirely but over time you'll remember the good you had together and think of her as nothing more than a happy memory. It's been 7 months since my first girlfriend left me and I still think about her every now and then when I'm sad but it's so much better than it was before. I still get sad triggers, or I wonder if we could have patched things up but dwelling on it isn't helping me. My point being the feelings might never go away entirely but you learn to deal. I miss the good times but at the same time I'm really glad she's found someone who makes her happy. I've started dating again casually which is helping a lot with that Sort of stuff. You gotta make sure to remember how many beautiful wonderful women live in this planet.

[QUOTE=Sunday_Roast;50678327]This might or might not easy your mind. But you really make it sound like Hypochondria is the more likely option.[/QUOTE] Probably, but again, early cases of the disease were labelled as "psychiatric issues" before the neurological symptoms appeared. The early stages of the disease mainly manifest themselves by anxiety and depression. After that you become a vegetable and you die. I don't know. I can't know. And this is killing me. How can you live correctly when you expect to die and lose your capabilities day after day ? The thought of having my parents watching me and crying while i become a vegetable, my brain melting, trapped in my body terrifies me beyond imagination to the point were my daily life is impacted.